Rainbowism is very serious.
Rainbowism is very serious.
Holy rainbows! That was amazing! The cyan Pegasus soared down towards me as I fell off my scooter from sheer awesomeness.
“So squirt, what did ya think about my new trick?” she asked as she touched down on the grass in front of me.
“Holy rainbows! That was amazing!” I vocalized my thoughts. Rainbow Dash (yes, the fastest flyer in ALL of Equestria) had asked me if I wanted to come check out some of her new moves she had been working on and obviously I had said yes.
“Thanks! I've got to clean up the double-sonic-twist though; it’s still a bit rusty…” She pulled me back to my hooves, noticing how I had fallen and my scooter was now rolling down the hill we were sitting on. “You might want to go grab that, before you lose it Scoots!” She pointed towards the wayward scooter, which was now rolling towards the market.
“Oh no! I've gotta dash! See ya later Dash!” I started to gallop down the hill, slightly put out that I didn't get to spend more time with my idol.
Oh! I forgot to introduce myself to you! My name is Scootaloo. And I'm a Rainbowholic. More on that later. I’m 1/3 of the Cutie Mark Crusaders and basically Rainbow Dash’s sister! And I'm 90 percent sure that she knows that now... I'm a Pegasus, and I can’t fly quite yet, but I will be able to soon. I know it.
Anyways, I was on my way to Sweet Apple Acres, where one of my best friends lives, when Rainbow had stopped me to show me her awesome tricks. Hey! One of Dash’s best friends lives on Sweet Apple Acres too… we're basically the same pony! Wow! Back to the point, my scooter was currently headed into town without me on it, which was unfortunate because it is fast and I am not. I'm fast on it, and I would be fast if I could fly, but I am not on it and I cannot fly. Yeah, you get the picture. Small orange filly chasing a little green scooter down a HUGE hill before it gets crushed by all of the pony’s stomping around in there, getting groceries, or chatting with friends, or some other lame thing.
Speaking of lame, Rainbow Dash is the opposite of lame! She’s totally awesome! Wow, I keep getting distracted. Sorry, getting back to the story.
“No! Scooter! Come back!” I cried as I finally made it to the bottom of the hill and onto the path that led to the Ponyville market. “HOW HAVE YOU NOT FALLEN OVER YET?” Yeah, I was talking to my scooter. I just really love it, ok? Speaking of things that I love, Rainbow Dash! She’s a thing that I love! Aaaand I'm getting off track again. Apologies.
“Phew! Thank Celestia!” My scooter had finally succumbed to gravity, and had tipped over onto the ground. I galloped towards it. Almost there! I can make it!
CRUNCH!
“Oops, sorry Miss Scootaloo…” Big Mac had just stepped directly on top of my scooter, completely oblivious until he heard the crunch of my heart exploding into a thousand tiny pieces. I’m just kidding. It was my scooter splintering under his hoof that he had heard. But it might as well have been my heart!
“Aw man! That’s the fifth one I've broken this month! My mom is SO gonna kill me!” I moaned as Big Mac lifted his massive hoof off of my broken mode of transportation. All that remained was a couple of wheels, some handlebars and a pile of green splinters.
“I can fix it.” Mac spoke in his slow voice.
“Eh, it was bound to happen eventually. S’alright Mac. Are you on your way home?” I asked.
“Eeyup.” Was his response. I blinked.
“Ok. Can I hitch a ride, since, ya know…” I gestured towards the pile of scootabits.
“Eeyup.” He drawled again. He was a pony of few words, that was for sure. I hopped into the back of the apple cart that he was pulling, and off we headed towards Sweet Apple Acres. We were only about five minutes away, and I could have walked, but everypony always says how lazy Rainbow Dash is, so I decided to be lazy to and let Mac pull me.
Oh! Getting back to the whole “I'm a Rainbowholic” thing… I said more to come later, and now is later right? Well, anyways, I’m not sure if you've noticed but I love Rainbow Dash. I kind of bring her up in… pretty much every conversation, and according to Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Miss Cheerilee, my mom, and pretty much everypony else this is what’s called “an unhealthy obsession.” I have to admit, this has started to affect my social life. The only ponies who will talk to me willingly are my fellow CMC’s, my family, and Dash! And even they say I “need to get help.” My mom will only let me have 3 posters of her up on my wall, all of the rest she hid from me. Applebloom dumps water on me every time I bring her up, trying to break my habit. Sweetie Belle just cries, saying she wants me to get better.
They think it’s a problem.
They think it’s controlling my life. It's not.
Well, anyways, by this time, Mac and I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, right outside the CMC clubhouse.
“Thanks for the lift Big Mac!” I hopped out of the scooter, and ran to the ramp leading into the clubhouse.
“Eeyup.” He trotted away, pulling the now empty cart behind him.
I stepped through the door into the clubhouse, and was met by a strange sight. Bloom and Sweetie were seated on the couch, and a sign was hanging above their heads. It read “INTERVENTION.”
“Scootaloo. Glad that you made it.” Applebloom said seriously.
“Uh… Sorry I'm late guys. I ran into Rainbo-” I was interrupted by a face full of water.
“We know where you were,” Applebloom said, holding an empty bucket, the contents now all over my face. “Scootaloo, we love and support you.”
“We don't want to see you throw your life away!” Sweetie cried, tears gathering in her eyes. “This, what you're doing… It’s really unhealthy! It’s ruining you, taking over!”
“What are you guys talking about?” I asked. I knew though, and I knew that they knew I knew. Whoa, confusing.
“This!” Applebloom cried, holding up a mirror. I gasped. On my head, there was a fake rainbow mane. Clipped to my tail were matching extensions.
“Look what you're doing to yourself!” Sweetie was crying now. “Scootaloo, you HAVE to stop this, before it gets more out of hoof!”
I put a hoof up to my head. I hadn't even noticed that I was wearing my Rainbow Dash mane and tail set that I had custom made for the Official Rainbow Dash Fan club. I slowly turned, glancing at my flank in the mirror. There taped to the spot where a cutie mark would be was a piece of paper. Printed on it was a perfect replica of Dash’s cutie mark.
“No… What have I done? I’m too far gone.” I shook my head, trying to clear it. I started getting flashbacks from the past couple of weeks.
Painting myself cyan blue.
Ordering a pair of magenta colored contact lenses online.
I was surrounded by hundreds, maybe even thousands, of hoof drawn crayon pictures.
All of her. Rainbow Dash.
Trying to convince people to call me Dash Jr.
My mind swirled with all of these images. How could this of happened? How did it get so out of hoof? My idol, my sister…. She was controlling my life.
“No!” I cried, falling to the ground. “Help me! I need help!”
“We know Scoots, we know. We're going to help you.” Applebloom rested a hoof on my shaking body. “You can get through this, you're tough. You can do this.”
“Yeah! We’re gonna help you Scootaloo! You can take control of your life! You are independent, and you are strong!” Sweetie exclaimed, still sniffling. “The first step is acknowledging that you have a problem.”
“I see it now. I do have a problem. Thank you guys.” I said, pulling myself back onto my hooves. Bloom pulled the rainbow mane & tail, and the paper cutie mark off of me, and tossed them in the trash. “I'm so sorry for putting you guys through all of this. I… I was so stupid. I didn't think that my obsession with Rainbow Dash would get so… unhealthy.”
“Aw, its fine Scoots. This could happen to anypony.” Applebloom comforted me.
“It could?” Sweetie asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you sure? I've never seen anything like this befo-”
“I’m sure. Now shut up.”
“Okay.”
I smiled at them. I knew that with my two best friends by my side, I could do anything. I could overcome anything, including this. I was now on the road to recovery. I was unstoppable.
Three hours later, Scootaloo had a relapse. She was last seen ordering cyan paint and coloured contacts in bulk, and all of the crayons and paper in Ponyville are now in her possession. Rainbowism is a serious disease. It is not something to joke about. If you or anypony close to you is showing signs of it, please seek help immediately. You do not want to end up like poor, innocent Scootaloo.
There is assistance provided by the Rainbowism hotline. If you have any questions or concerns regarding Rainbowism, please call 1-800-get-help-stop-rainbowism or attend a Rainbowholic anonymous meeting. This is a public service announcement. Thank you.
Author's Note
Not sure where this came from.
Rainbowism is a serious problem. Don't let yourself become like Scootaloo. Seek help.
