I had gone to the store for a round of shopping, like I do most days. Either for my private use, or for the Café. This time I stumbled across something unexpected, a line of cans, marked Canned Companion. That would be odd, but uncharacteristically hilarious.

On second thought, I picked up a can with a pink label on it. The can is too small for a real Companion, but what do I know of these things? It is the first time I saw these oddities, anyway.

I ended up paying for the little can as I left the store, I couldn’t just take it and not pay for it. What would the owner of the store think? Not that it was all that expensive. It is no fun to have your merchandise stolen, I couldn’t have that.

Of course, once I got home I placed it on the desk, in my room where I keep all my belongings. I did open it, just a few days later, following the instructions to the letter, naturally. It is why I bought it, to enjoy the product, so I followed the instructions in order to get what I had expected.

Yet, what am I to expect from a product like this? A canned Companion.