killers

by thatguy45

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Dark, Human
Length: 990

an unspeakable evil hates equestria. so she drops of a bunch of killers in equestria, you know, for shits and giggles

an unspeakable evil has been watching equestria. and she don't like it. too bright and beautiful, too lovely. too… harmonious. but like they say, you can't spell harmony with out harm. so she goes to one of the most violent and destructive universes ever: earth. and she tracks down twelve of the most evil people alive. and she gives them one order:

"kill everything."

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-28 22:49:44 UTC

"wake the fuck up!"

"WAKE THE FUCK UP!"

Ten people jolted awake.

"good... now that thats out of the way, introductions are in order. my name is sweetie belle."  a few sniggers here and there. "yeah, yeah, laugh it up. my parents were hippies. you can't see me right now because I'm speaking to you over the intercom." all ten people looked up and indeed, there was a speaker to the left of the ceiling. "now to introduce you guys. chances are that you've never met, but you've probably heard about one another at some point. first one on the left is, 'the horror'". the man grunted. "name, unknown. nationality, probably Japanese. supposedly, he was a man living with his sister and another female roommate. things were good, until it was discovered that both the roommate and sister were getting gang-banged behind his back. and the sister was sending him videos of that happening. then the sister tried to rape him. his already fragile sanity snapped, and he killed her. broke a window, then used one of the pieces to impale her. quite gruesome. he then proceeded to hunt down and murder every single person in the videos, leaving the roommate for last. during such time, he preceded to graft many pieces of high-quality steel all over his body. now, three years later, he is practically invulnerable to small arms fire. next, is that smiling fellow."

the man in question had an orange bowl cut, and yellow clothes. his smile got even larger. "this is maxi lord. he has a doctorate in psychology, and enjoys fishing, reading, and torture. he was raised in berlin by an abusive alcoholic only raising him for the government stipend. he ran away at fourteen, and spent the time until he was 21 reading up on psychology and law. then he entered Harvard university, and after four failed attempts, he passed the test. four years later, and he had a masters in psychology, and a bachelors in law. next one, is ripper."

the ginger haired man tried to sink down into his chest, but no dice. "virtually nothing is nothing about him, including his nationality, name, age, or back story. people didn't even know that it was the same person who was killing until he sent in letters. seems counterintuitive, considering that he's shy almost to a fault. now, for number four 'the brick'."

the black man who was fourth on the left snorted. "come now, don't be like that. brick here has military training, like, marine training. as such, not much is known about him. he has training in hundreds weapons, and not all of them are guns. now, for No. 5. 'KKK.'"

the fifth man raised a hand and waved. he had a swastika tattooed on his forehead, and a whole bunch of other tattoos, just as offensive as the swastika. "as you can probably guess, he's a neo-nazi. plus, he's a member of the KKK. not a bad repertoire. he entered a predominately black area of Louisiana, and shot it up. 55 casualties, and 45 injuries. also not bad. he grew up in Louisiana with a KKK leader for a father. he was raised upon propaganda, so it isn't really surprising about how he turned out." he gave the voice on the intercom the finger. "ouch. next, is this lovely fellow."

the man at the very end with a blue mohawk, raised an eyebrow. "his name is axe. he's so violent, that he literally lay got kicked out of juvenile hall. thats right kiddies, your looking at the person who did what all of you wanted to do. his really name is singing sword. hippies all over, am i right? now, he doesn't have much of a backstory, raised by a perfectly normal family, good childhood, good adolescence, he just hates people. like, bad. proficient with all sorts of bladed weapons, and shit."

"next, is good ol' lucky seven: boomer. this fellow is a serial arsonist and explosives expert. just one of his bombs killed 59 people. not bad. and that's not all. including all of the fires and other bombings, he is personally responsible for the deaths of 178 people. and that's just in the past year!" the black man 'harrumphed', and turned away from the intercom.

"yeesh, touchy. next is boogie. he's a monstrous man. killed fifteen children of very-ing ages. all under the ages of twelve. likes to hide in closets, and under beds. fun. not much backstory. doesn't talk much. molestation victim, yadda yadda, all that jazz. NEXT!

the vietnamese man sitting second from the right looked at the intercom, and opened his mouth.

"nuh-uh-uh! no talking. not yet. plenty of time for that later. a personal favorite of mine, this is ming." he tried to speak up again. "i know that thats culturally insensitive, but i'll probs get corrected in the comments, i'll change your name then. now this guy has been running POW camps for decades. he knows all sorts of shit, and he probably likes torture more than maxi over there does." maxi's smile drooped. "don't be like that. you can pick up the slack later."

"and finally, without further ado, is number ten! that guy! right there!" all eyes focused on the tenth man in the room. he was a simple man, a large bush of orangey blonde hair, an wearing nothing more than a pair of blue jeans and a plain, white shirt, returned the geir gaze. "this ones an enigma. the X factor. he's different because most of his victims have been other criminals. plus, if your the brick, he's the mountain. according to the rumors, he's literally indestructible. master of several martial arts, he's trained himself to pretty much ignore most types of damage. bullets'll still hurt him tho. now with out further ado, i'll leave you for now. bye-bye!"

and with that, the intercom crackled off.

"man, what a bitch."