Virtigogo

by Wingless

Rating: teen
Tags: Random
Length: 4202

Howie heads to Ponyville on personal business after meeting Rarity.

Howie takes a train ride to Ponyville and along the way a mare needs his help. But Howie just doesn't give help, he helps ponies help themselves. The story of a bouncer and unique therapist and a former professor at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns named Apple Polish.

A long waited by some, and not really wanted by others sequel! A story to expand on the story of not only Howitzer Flintlock, with a little Twilight in there as well. A totally optional addition to "Just Pull the Trigger" that will contain the fate of Ponyville's elite fashion designer.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-28 15:00:03 UTC

The Train

A train chugged it's way across a small bridge over a river on it's way to Ponyville. Its smoke stack puffed little clouds up into the cool, early morning air before dissipating  in a gentle breeze. In the rear car sat one lone pony, his head dropping to the side every couple seconds before he would catch himself dozing. After nearly falling out of his seat with the last one, the stallion stretched his legs out with a loud groan before rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he gazed at the rising sun.

Early mornings were not uncommon for Howitzer Flintlock, although the only time he saw them were during late nights when he had to stay and clean up a mess an impetuous pony or some other ignoramus created towards closing. Howie yawned and stood up so blood could flow freely to his stiff joints. He looked out of his window, sighing at the task before him. After what happened a few nights before, this was one morning he couldn't afford to sleep through.

Howie made his way across the empty car and slid into the next one. Such an early train rarely had many passengers, and this train was no exception. That car, and the two after it he found to have less than five ponies each. He kept quiet through each one so as not to disturb the others, and eventually found himself at the second to last car behind he engine. Pulling this last door open he found it to be the dining car. It was nearly as empty as the car he was in, with the exception of one server and a quiet mare on the other side of the car, facing away from him. He walked up to the server and made his presence known with a cough into his hoof.

The server turned around and greeted him with a smile. "Good morning, Sir! What can I get for you?"

"Mornin'. Glass of scotch please," Howie said.

The waiter's smile faltered slightly before he asked, "Um... sir you do know it's not even seven a.m. yet?"

"Yeah it is pretty late in the day. But might as well have a night cap before the sun fully comes up, eh?"

The waiter's smile fell only a bit further before he perked right back up. "Anything you say, Sir. One glass of scotch coming right up."

Howie nodded and took a seat at one of the booths. He closed his eyes and rubbed a temple with his hoof. The bright light of the day was nothing like the flashing strobe he was so used to. A headache started to form in the back of his head. "Ugh, maybe I need to stop doing these things if this is what I have to do afterwards," he quietly whispered to himself.

A nearly inaudible noise whispered across the car over the din of the train clacking along the tracks. Howie looked across the car. It was nearly a squeak, the noise he heard. His eyes drifted to the waiter preparing his drink. "huh, wasn't him. So who..." He shifted his gaze again onto the only other pony in the car. She had her back turned to Howie but her quivering body told all to a pony used to seeing ponies drink away their sorrows. Her lithe frame shook a little harder with a suppressed sob.

He suddenly became aware of a presence next to him and looked up to see the waiter there at his side with his drink, which the waiter set down on a coaster he produced. "Will that be all for you, Sir?" he asked.

Howie grumbled a response and he turned back to the mare whose body had stopped shaking, but was still breathing heavily. "Very well, Sir. I'll be in the other cars taking orders, if you need anything I will be back in about ten minutes." Howie didn't speak but waved his hoof. The waiter took this as his cue to leave, and with a muttered phrase about inconsiderate passengers and how he should find a better job, left through the train door.

Howie lifted his glass and took a sip, his eyes not wavering from the mare. Feeling the honey brown liquid sooth his aching head, he steadied the glass on his back and slowly walked over. As he got closer it was made painfully aware she had been drinking, the smell of tainted breath waged an attack on Howie's nose. He scrunched it up and shook thoughts of ignoring her away as he stopped at her side.

The mare, who he could now see was a unicorn, slowly became aware of his presence and turned her bloodshot eyes to him. She rubbed a beige hoof across her nose and stared, blinking up at the stallion. Howie turned and slid into the seat opposite her. Setting his drink down, he met her gaze with a comforting smile. The mare gave a halfhearted smile of her own and tried to run her other hoof through her tangled, grey hair.

"Beautiful morning, huh?" Howie asked.

"Hmm? Oh yes, I suppose it is," she agreed, her voice cracking. The mare glanced through the window briefly but turned to look anywhere but Howie and his beautiful morning.

Howie leaned over in his seat, trying to make eye contact with the mare. "Might I ask your name, Miss?"

She continued staring around the car, but replied with a whisper Howie had to strain to hear, "I-it's Apple Polish."

Howie scooted back closer to the edge of the seat. Apple Polish had to nearly twist her head like an owl to keep her eyes from meeting Howie's, but her attempts were all for naught. "Well Apple Polish, my name is Howie. It's very nice to make your acquaintance." Howie held his hoof out, forcing Apple Polish to turn and lock eyes with the stallion. Unblinking, she reached out and gently tapped her hoof against his.

Howie's smile grew brighter as their hooves touched. "Miss Polish, I do hate to intrude, as it's not my business and there's a very good chance you want nothing more to be left alone..." Now Howie's smile faltered as Apple Polish's eyes seemed to mist up more and more with each word. "...but it hurts me something awful to see such a beautiful mare crying all by her lonesome."

The faintest of blushes crept across her face, but if the compliment had cheered her up, she sure didn't show it much. "Now I'm a stallion of my word. And that being said if you want me to leave, say so and I won't bother you anymore."

After a moment, she closed her eyes and shook her head briefly. "No, being alone is why I'm like this. B-but, you don't want to hear about some mare's troubles..." She smiled weakly, her gaze flickering between Howie and the floor.

"Heh, well it's true where I work the bartender usually listens to most of ponies' problems, but I've been known to help a pony or two, here and there. So go ahead, you've got a story, I've got ears, and we've both got the time!"

"Um, okay, where to start? I mean, it's all about my coltfriend, or rather ex-coltfriend."

"Ah, colt troubles. Been there, my dear." Howie nodded sagely.

"You... never mind." Apple Polish shook her head. "Anyway, we both work at Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. He's a professor of music history, and I work in the biology research department identifying plant diseases and ailments. Normally we'd never see each other on campus, but we both work for the entrance exam board."

Howie smiled. "Ooh, so you decide..."

"Yeah, we decide who's talented enough to enroll. Granted, very few actually fail a test, especially recently with the surge of musicians enrolling, much to Arpeggio's joy."

"Ar—"

"My coltfriend."

"Oh. Sorry, please continue."

"Anyway, with so many more unicorns taking musical courses, he's become so busy with work we rarely had time to see each other. Naturally, I dove into my own work to take up the time, and to take my mind off things. Then, just yesterday, he came to me right after a class, which was weird since he always grades papers, then comes home. He didn't even bother dancing around it, just came out and said he met somepony else, some cellist named Octavio or something like that."

"Oh no... my dear I'm so sorry."

More tears glistened in her eyes. "I had been so caught up in my work I didn't even realize and when he said it it hit me so hard, and... and..." Apple buried her face in her hooves as wracking sobs overcame her. Howie quickly slid into the seat next to her and gently wrapped her in his own hooves.

"Shh, it's okay, it's going to be okay," Howie whispered. Apple nestled her face into Howie's shoulder, the tears soaking his coat. The sobbing slowed, and after a minute her head lifted back up. Her eyes were bloodshot and she sniffled a bit to rid herself of the runny nose.

"I-I really don't know what to do. I know my cousin here in town could help me get through it, but..." Her eyes glazed as she trailed off. "Magic got me here. But now it's all I have. I love doing magic, but I love Arpeggio. But now he's gone off with somepony he loves more. I guess... I just need to focus on only magic from now on. It'll be my life, my only life. What I couldn't live without."

Howie's gentle smile slid off his face, and he slowly removed his hooves from around the mare. He gazed off into space, a hoof rubbing his forehead under his hat.

"W-what is it? Howie, are you okay?"

"What about your family? Friends? Can you live without them?"

Apple was taken aback for a moment, her jaw slack as she contemplated his words. A moment later, her gaze hardened. "I don't have much family left, just an uncle in Manehatten and all he cares about is the high society. That's the only connection I have to family, minus the cousin in Ponyville. As for friends? No. No, friendship and relationships will only bring me pain. I need to focus on the only thing that matters. The only thing that should matter to a unicorn!"

Howie turned to stare at her, his gaze cold. "You think you can't live without magic? That magic is the only thing that make a unicorn worthwhile? Tell me, what would you do without magic?"

Apple Polish had flinched when Howie's eyes locked onto hers, and now she sat on the furthest side of the seat from the stallion. She blinked and seemingly regained her senses, staring down at the floor as her hoof drew circles on the cushion. "I don't know. My life would be so different. I doubt I could continue at the school if I did. And if that happened... I doubt I could live with myself."

"So you'd end your own life because you'd be less of a pony?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"So what are Earth Ponies then? Or Pegasi? Are they less of a pony because they don't have a horn on their head?"

"N-No! I don't mean it like that! I mean, they have their own magic. If a pegasus loses their wings, then they could still technically manipulate weather, work in Cloudsdale, or even if they're desperate, join the Princess' Night Guard and get those bat wings. If an Earth Pony were to lose all four legs, they would still have that connection to the earth and soil. But a unicorn... would just seem diminished."

Howie's face softened and he reclined back into the seat, propping his hind-legs up on the opposite seat. "Miss Polish, friends are what would keep you going. Not magic. Do you really think you'd be better off without any friends or seeing any family, however sparse you say they are?"

"Yes," she responded without hesitation. "Magic is all I should have. I'll just stop talking to my friends, and I'll move so Uncle Orange won't know where to send letters. In fact, I'll even turn around and take the next train back to Canterlot. My cousin won't even know I've been in town."

The two were silent for a moment, letting the gentle rocking of the train calm their nerves. Howie took a sip from his scotch, only to put it back down after noticing the ice had melted.

"Miss Polish, I have to, respectfully, disagree. Would you like to know why, or rather, would you care to hear a story?"

Apple Polish didn't answer for the longest time. She only sat there, her eyes closed and head against the window. Howie almost thought she had fallen asleep, until her eyes opened and she nodded. "Okay, go ahead and say what you must."

The Club

Twilight Sparkle walked down an alley of Canterlot, tying an apron around herself as she went along. It was used and dirty, grease spotted it and it smelled of liquor. The young mare herself was disheveled, having spent the last couple hours trying to catch up on sleep after a particularly long study session. Not that Moondancer's party made studying possible, but she still tried. Having a roommate like that was starting to wear on Twilight and her grades, something which Celestia notice immediately. Of course, the Princess is not one to hoof out assistance to everypony, and she wanted Twilight to get used to having an actual job, so she politely suggested Twilight find some employment around town, to help pay for an actual dorm room.

And so here we find the young unicorn, grumbling to herself as she trotted up to the club. Being the beginning of the year for all the schools, most ponies had already found their part time jobs in town, so the only option left to Twilight was as a waitress at some new club called Club Basix. She had spoken to the owner in her interview, and it seemed like Basic Beats was a bit of a philanderer. Okay, he was a lot of a philanderer, and it showed. He had a habit of hiring cute college girls and dressing them up in tight outfits and the like. Luckily he knew how to avoid a lawsuit and had made it optional. But it still irked Twilight to no end. It was as if nopony had any sense of personal boundaries, but, Twilight figured, if they had all been as personal with Basic Beats as rumor had it, boundaries had already long been crossed for most of those employed.

She walked in the front door, waving her badge at the front door bouncer. He waved her in and she slipped past the throngs of ponies trying to sway the stallion into letting them in. She made her way down the entrance hall but before she could make it to the main floor, a stallion in a cowpony hat stepped in her way, bringing her to a halt.

"Well hello there, little lady!" He tipped his hat and raised his head, showing his eyes and a horn on his head. The unicorn smiled at Twilight." My dear, you appear to be too old to drink here, I'll have to see some I.D."

Twilight's deadpan stare did nothing to falter the stallion's smile, so she simply picked him up with her magic and moved him out of the way. "Look, I'm late for work in there. I don't know who you are, but you really need to learn who works here. Goodbye."

She turned to leave but was stopped by a hoof on her shoulder. "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know. What's your name?"

Twilight gently pushed the hoof off her shoulder and gave him a halfhearted smile. "It's Twilight. Twilight Sparkle. Now if you'll excuse me..."

She walked into the main hall while the stallion rubbed his head nervously. "Sure. Sure... You have a good night," he hollered after her.

The club was packed. It seemed everypony in town was dancing down on the floor. Twilight pushed her way to the tables section where the bar was, being shoved and hassled and she was pretty sure at one time, groped, through the throngs of dancing ponies not giving a damn to the world around them as the music flowed. Finally she reached the bar, where a middle aged pony with a rather pungent stoagie hanging out of his mouth.

"Evenin' Twilight. Sleep okay last night? You know those late night study sessions will kill you, right?" He said in a rather high pitched voice.

"It's those cigars that'll kill you, Hickory. Or at least give you cancer." She smirked at him while walking behind the bar. "Any orders ready to go out?"

"Get right into it tonight, huh Twilight? Okay then, table four has seven ciders and a Manehatten, table seven needs refills on their Applejacks and Colas, table two has two ponies from Neighpon and they're only drinking gin, but they'll only take it one shot at a time and only at their table, so keep an eye on them. And right now table five has some guy who's been a jerk to the last waitress who went over there, so if he calls you over, let me know and I'll send our new bouncer over to make sure nothing happens, okay?"

"Ehhhh, okay. I met that new bouncer too, what do you make of him?" Twilight asked, scanning the crowd as she did so, but couldn't find that hat anywhere.

"He's alright. Bit of a gambler though. I swear one of these days he'll put up a leg for a bet. But that makes him a sweet talker, and maybe a scoundrel, so watch yourself around him, okay? You're a nice girl, no need to get mixed up with our lot, "he finished with a wink.

"Heh, thanks Hickory. You're a good guy. I'll go get started now." She grabbed a tray full of cider and headed off to table four.

From there the night went as expected. Twilight zoomed about the room, taking orders and sending them out to tables with no detail unchecked. While Twilight liked working the tables, especially for the tips, her specialty was perfectly balanced mixed drink. She had studied the alcohol, the sugars and the sours, and the bitterness of each ingredient long before she had taken this job, and making drinks was as close as she could get to studying something near alchemy, or any form of studying while at work. Of course with such attention to detail making products that were truly noteworthy, ponies from all over town were coming in to try them. At least it kept Twilight busy, or at least that's what she told herself.

A few hours later, one of the other waitresses stomped back behind the bar, a hint of moisture in her eyes. "Complaint from table five, Twilight. He's requesting to speak to the pony who made his drink."

Twilight looked up from the bar, puzzled. "Dry martini, stirred, two olives?"

"That's the jerk alright!" The waitress said loudly across the bar. As she walked away, Twilight set the bottle in her magical grasp down, and quickly made her way to table five. There, was a rather rotund pony, a frosty mug emblazoned on his flank, and an empty martini glass in his hoof.

"Excuse me, sir, was there a problem with your drink?" she asked with the most painfully cheery facade she could muster.

The pony looked around as if somepony had hollered across the club, his drunken eyes eventually settling on Twilight. "Well it's about damned time!" he said. "I've been waiting here for nearly an hour for one of you air-headed fillies to come around!"

Inside, Twilight was berating herself for ever accepting such a position. I just made that drink ten minutes ago... she thought. But on the outside she retained her composure. "Well, I am sorry for the um, delay, what can I do to make it better?"

"Well first off, I'm not paying for this drink. I ordered a Martini, not vermouth with a splash of gin. Second, you could stay here and keep me entertained for the night." The stallion grinned a smile of brown teeth and have a hammy wiggle of his eyebrows.

"Eheh, okay... how about no?" Twilight backed up a bit and turned to head back to the bar. "I'll get you a new drink but... unfortunately I have to be making drinks, so I'll have to decline this time—"

"Oh Hell no!, You owe me one missy!" The stallion growled, wrapping his arms around Twilight's midsection. She froze as he touched her, shaking, unable to think of a spell to get him off, when suddenly, the stallion wasn't there anymore. A faint sound of gagging could be heard behind her, and slowly she turned to investigate.

The stallion was half dangling in the air, his back hoofs just scraping the floor. A dark blue aura of magic surrounded his throat and kept him aloft. Right next to him, his horn glowing, was the bouncer from earlier, his face stretched in a goofy smile. "I think it's time to cut you off," he said before tossing him toward a nearby fire exit, where two more bouncers stood waiting. They caught him and promptly tossed him out the door.

The bouncer turned to Twilight, but his smile dropped when he saw her. She stood stock still, two tears dripping down her cheeks. Her knees wobbly, he rushed over to hold her up. However, as soon as he touched her she grabbed him in a strangle hold-style hug, softly crying into his shoulder. "Shh, it's okay, he's not here anymore. You're okay."

He looked around a noticed half the club was staring. "C'mon, let's go someplace quieter," he whispered. She set her hooves back down and nodded, keeping her head down, following him past the bar and into the kitchen. The front end was busy, making appetizers for the drunken ponies outside. Towards the back, however, near the freezer, was a bit more quiet and even had a chair in which Twilight sat. The bouncer grabbed a glass and filled it with cold water. Twilight took it from him and drained the glass, her hooves still shaking.

"Better?" he asked. She nodded.

Never had something like that happen before?" She shook her head.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She shook her head again.

"Well, I really think you should. It'll make you feel better. I'll stay here all night if I have to but you really do need to talk about it."

Then Twilight's head shot up, glaring at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Oh, come on. I barely know you! And... and it's not even what happened that's the problem. Well, it is, but it isn't. Kinda." The sadness returned and her head drooped again.

"Okay, then my name's Howitzer. Howitzer Flintlock, but you can just call me Howie. Everypony else in this place does." He held out his hoof, the smile back. Twilight flicked her gaze up at the hoof before halfheartedly shaking it.

"M'Twilight."

"Heh, so I've heard. Listen, you seem like a really nice girl, and I hate to see nice girls get treated like that. Basic is a friend of mine, of sorts, and tomorrow night he and I and one other friend will be up in one of the V.I.P. suites to celebrate something around nine PM. If you'd like, you can come on up, and perhaps Basic and myself can help sort things out for you."

The corners of Twilight's mouth twitched upwards for a split second. "Maybe..." she mumbled.

"But don't expect a hoof out. Basic and I are business ponies, and will expect, well, something in return."

Twilight shot up, a look of horror plastered on her face. "Y-you mean?"

Howie jumped back, confusion in his face before his eyes widened. He shook his head vigorously. "No! No, no, no, nothing anywhere like that! Please, Twilight, don't think anything along those lines. We have a simple wager of sorts and we'll need your help determining the winner."

She calmed down with Howie's words, now sporting a shameful smile. "Oh. Okay. I think I can do that. Sorry about that, too."

Howie waved it off. "It's okay. I guess I should have worded it differently. I promise you, nothing sexual or something even near it. But do expect to get your hooves dirty."

"Okay. I'll be there. I have to work then anyway."

"Great!" He tipped his hat and with a wink trotted towards the exit. Just before, he stopped and spoke once more, "Oh, and take the rest of tonight off. I'll get Basic to pay you for the whole shift, I think you've certainly earned it."

And with that, he was gone, leaving a slightly less disheveled Twilight standing in the steaming kitchen, contemplating just what exactly she had gotten herself into.