She heard those bells tingling. At least the pink menace had the decency to wear the bells, so she wouldn't be always surprised to see her. Not that she didn't enjoy surprises, but Pinkie had this way of coming behind her as stealthily as the Shadow Warriors of Hooflatlipoca and yelling at the top of her lungs. This often caused poor Rainbow to fly higher than she planned, scared out of her wits. Her heart rate was really worrying her nowadays.
A couple of jingles and she was there. “Hello, Dashie!” she chirped, wearing that grin that Rainbow didn’t know if she wanted to kiss or to ignore with an eyeroll and a smarmy chuckle.
“Ok, what is that?” she asked, though it’s not like she needed to. The pink pony had already tried that ever since Hearthswarming’s Eve season started but it was part of that game. Ignoring it would have made it trite, spoiling the holidays’ fun.
“What are you talking about? Oh, that!” she poked her head and slapped her tongue out, pointing at the large plastic rod to which was attached mistletoe. “It’s a Hearthswarming’s tradition! You know, when two ponies walk together under a mistletoe they have to kiss each other!”
“I don’t think it’s fair that you walk around that thing.” Rainbow pointed at the dangly thing.
“Just increasing my chances.” she giggled, brushing her flank against Dash’s, swishing her soft tail around. Rainbow’s wings gave a small flutter, fighting the urge to pop open as her mouth went dry. She steeled herself and kept the act on, keeping cool inside and outside.
“And what do you do when somepony that you don’t want to desperately kiss is around?” In the space of Dash’s blink the mistletoe disappeared, leaving only a pair of baby blue eyes staring at her like a puppy. “How did you do that?!”
“Dowhat?”
“T-that!” Rainbow blinked. “Ah, never mind. You know what?”
“What?”
“Why don’t we make a game out of this?”
“Uhhh! I looove games! What are the rules?”
“Let’s see... Whoever manages to kiss the other first wins. Everything is permitted as long as it’s subtle. But you can’t just do it out of the blue. You gotta have a reason.” Rainbow turned her head for just a second only to notice the weird contraption back on Pinkie’s head. “And that’s, not subtle.” She pulled it off of Pinkie’s head with enough force to make the pink pony wobble back and forth like a bobble-head toy.
“T-t-t-t-that’s cool. How much time do we have?”
“Uhhh…” The plaza’s clock struck twelve. “Till Sundown. How about that?”
“Oh, you’ll see, Dashie! Ima gonna smooch ya till you’re numb!” Pinkie giggled and ran on her merry way, launching a sultry wink to Rainbow Dash on the way. The pegasus’ cheeks turned red but Rainbow hid her shame behind her scarf. Dash simply chuckled. Maybe there wasn’t any need for an old tradition just to kiss that pony, but the game was on.
Why not make a day special?
Rainbow turned her head and noticed that the jolly Hearthswarming’s Eve carols had just grown silent and she saw Fluttershy fluttering down from the simple wooden stage. Big Macintosh and another mare from the Pony Tones were also there, having just finished bringing good cheer the small plaza. Rainbow made her way towards her friend.
“Fluttershy!”
“Oh, hello Rainbow!” Fluttershy smoothly dodged the oncoming waveof signature chasers to warmly greet her friend. “What brings you here?”
“Could you help me with a thing? A game, actually.”
“Oh!” She clapped her hooves. “I loooove games!”
“Weird. You sounded a lot like Pinkie Pie. I gotta kiss her before midnight.”
Fluttershy blinked. “Couldn’t you just...Kiss her and be done with it?”
“It’s part of the game. I got to find a funny excuse for that. It would be too easy, otherwise!”
“But you...Want to kiss her?”
“Well, duh!”
“Aaand...You two aren’t just doing it.” Fluttershy shrugged. “I’ll help you, then.”
***
“Oh, this is going to be awesome!” Rainbow rubbed her hooves together and poked her head through the bush. Pinkie Pie was sitting at the cafè and was waiting for her order, catching some snowflakes with her tongue to pass the time. She giggled happily, laughing with mirth whether she succeeded or not. Rainbow thought it was the cutest thing to ever grace the wide world of Equestria.
“You gave that waiter really a generous tip, you know?” Fluttershy said. She was wearing a military helmet and face paint to better blend in the bush next to her cyan friend. “I mean, it was nice being Hearthswarmings Eve and all…”
Dash grumbled a little. She could’ve used that money in a more intelligent way. Buying a gift for herself, a gift for Pinkie, a gift for Fluttershy who really deserved it or for anypony else. “I needed him to make Pinkie a surprise.”
“Really? What have you told him?”
“It’s not that I told him anything. I just needed him to prepare the surprise.”
“What did you do?”
“I slipped a bit of mistletoe in her chocolate. When she’s drinking it, it will bop her on the nose and I’ll pop out from behind…” Dash let out a quiet chuckle not noticing her friend staring at her with a look of abject horror. “He must have thought I was going to slip a ring or something. There was one pony who did the same. At least, he told me so.” Her big eyes trembled in pain but nothing came from her lips. “What’s...What’s wrong?”
“Mistletoe is poisonous!”
“It’s what?!?”
“It’s poisonous! You got to stop her!”
“If it’s poisonous why does everypony hang it everywhere?!”
Time sort of freezed as the waiter in question came out from the cafè’s door, bringing a tray with the poisonous chocolate. He wasn’t even looking at the damn cup and for the first, few, painful seconds Dash he would stop. The moment Pinkie Pie grabbed it, Dash blew her cover in the loudest possible way. She tried to say something sharp, brief and totally capable of warning Pinkie of the danger, but only managed to spew an incoherent and drawn out scream of fear.
“Graaaaawaaaahaargghghh!” She flapped her lips about, emerging from the bush like a swamp monster.
“Ahhh!” Pinkie Pie was startled and the dangerous beverage slipped out of her hooves, making a small circle in the air and landing right on top of Rainbow’s head. It was searing hot, sure, but at least disaster was avoided. Rainbow would find the time to scream later, in a small yet secluded place.
“Oh, hi Rainbow Dash.” Pinkie Pie noticed her chocolate covered head poking from the bushes and landed a quick kiss on Rainbow’s lips. “Looks like I won! Yaaay!” Rainbow looked completely incredulous, soaking chocolate. “ May I have another chocolate?” She gestured at the waiter, who was still recovering from the shock. He quickly ran back inside, realizing he needed better professional ethics.
“Can...Can I…” Dash blushed, no doubt helped by the beverage's sky high temperature. “Uh, can I have another chance?”
“Sure! Best out of three! How about it?” Pinkie Pie patted Rainbow’s shoulder as the two pegasi retired in shame and defeat.
“This never happened.” Said Rainbow trudging away and grumbling. “This is officially out of my biography. And yours, too.”
“I’ll think of another plan. A safer plan.”
***
“This plan is boring.”
“This plan is safe.” Fluttershy sternly said as she positioned the last bon bon around Dash’s neck. The cyan pegasus positively looked like a statue made of confectionery. Liquorice strands were placed over her mane, candy sticks hanging from her wings, whipped cream smeared on her face and a pair of candy lips over her own lips that bobbed up and down everytime she breathed.
“I look stupid.” Rainbow mumbled, trying to move her lips as little as possible.
“Just a little, but I think this will work.” Fluttershy placed one last chocolate ball on Dash. “I use this thing when I have to give medicines to my animals as well. I hide them in a tasty thing and they take it without realizing it.”
“I don’t think Pinkie will fall for this.”
“Has Pinkie ever turned down a free sweet?”
Dash blinked. “You have a point.”
“Now, try not to move for a while.” Fluttershy flew up and parked on a nearby cloud while Dash stood there in the snow covered road. Pinkie Pie was on her way, hopping happily and humming a sweet song. For a second, while the cream and sweets were melting over her coat she thought this was possibly the dumbest, most inane plan she had ever had the dubious honour to try. Pinkie Pie wasn’t some kind of woodland critter, she was a pony, for Celestia’s sake! Who, in their right mind would be so desperate for sweets to munch on a pegasus shaped ca—
“Oh my gosh! A Dashie shaped cake lying here in the streets!”
…
To be honest, though she had a lot of good qualities, she never was the sharpest tool in the shed. Rainbow puckered her lips, slowly leaning forward to meet Pinkie’s, already delighting in the wonder and surprise she would bring. Sure, it was a crazy plan but life had to be crazy once in a while. It was a fun day, after all. Her whole body tensed as she moved at a glacial pace to keep the illusion until the last glorious moment. She held her breath, trying not to chuckle on the way and prepared herself for the most ridiculous and awesome kiss she had ever tried.
That was when Pinkie Pie bit her.
Her scream was heard all the way to Canterlot, scaring the living daylights of all of high society until Hearts and Hooves Day.
***
Rainbow sat down on the bridge, her hindlegs dangling down and her hooves beating a rhythm out of the stone. She massaged her bruised cheek and sighed heavily, taking one last drop of whipped cream from her face. It still tasted good. Celestia’s Sun was coming down and even though there were still some minutes left, there wasn’t any will to go on in that cyan chest of hers.
She heard a familiar hopping sound coming behind her and gulped loudly.
“H-Hi, Dashie…” Pinkie Pie scratched her head and took a small step behind while Dash instinctively scooted on her rump further away from Pinkie. The thought of one of them hurting the other reared its ugly head and terrified the two once carefree ponies. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. I mean, asking you not to bite some chocolate?!” She chuckled and Pinkie joined her quickly even for a little while. “That would be crazy.”
“Yeah, right…” Pinkie sulked and drew a half circle in the snow with her hoof. “Still want to play?”
“I don’t know.” Rainbow got up, her wings stretching and reaching for Pinkie, yearning to pull her close and hug her. “I mean, if you still want to…” She hesitated, hoping not not get hurt once again.
“Oh, I can’t stand this!” The two ponies were quite startled and looked up, seeing Fluttershy with a stern look and holding a mistletoe in her hoof. “Now kiss and make up and stop this charade!”
“Uhh…” Rainbow was at loss of words. Fluttershy being so stern was always a sight to behold.
“Let’s call it a draw?” Pinkie said, brushing gently on Rainbow’s cheek.
“Draw.”
The two ponies finally kissed, their tails going up and forming half on a heart. The kiss tasted even sweeter than anticipated, especially after going through so much. In the end, it was fun. Needlessly contrived and potentially dangerous but fun. Rainbow broke the kiss, still suckling on Pinkie’s lower lip as she heard the sound of a bell. The metal thing dangling from Pinkie’s head bopped on her forehead.
“Really?”
“Plan B!”