EQUESTRIA, SOME FOREST, SOME HOUR PAST TEA TIME
The skies were dark, the clouds gray, and the price of cheese went up by an extra two bits.
The scene was definitely tenser than a straight stallion's butthole in a gay brothel. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash certainly felt it themselves, beads of sweat running down their heads and faces. Despite having kissed and made up earlier - while a perverted Brony appeared and took pictures for his 'private collection'...oooooh...stroke the shaft...um, ahem, I mean, er, even though the two mighty warriors made peace with each other under a temporary truce, Twilight and Rainbow still harbored doubts about one another's trust.
But now really wasn't the time to be worrying about whether they could trust the other. In front of them both stood a creature who they were worrying over more than their sworn agreement. Standing on all four legs like a pony - since she was one, duh - towering over the unicorn and pegasus, her mane waving in the breeze menacingly, was the mighty galactic space pirate known and feared throughout the universe as Princess Celestia. Her beautiful purple eyes stared down at the two fools who dared to stand in her way of total universal domination.
"Twatlight Spandex and Rainbow Dashgeta!", the frightening overlord's voice boomed as she dribbled saliva from the corners of her evil lips. "Playing the main characters of another poorly written fanfic, I see?"
Rainbow Dashingly took a step forward as she made a comeback reply. "Yes," she growled depressingly.
Twilight Sprinkle got into her fighting stance, keeping her eyes on the enemy. If the stories they had heard were true, and if Wikipedia was to be believed, then to let their guard down for even a second would be a fatal mistake on their part.
Princess Celesbian cackled wickedly. "You know I love you, Dash Bash, but you can't be doing Sonic Boo-Boo's now, come on."
Rainbow Dash resisted the urge to just fly towards Princess Mary Celest and punch her silly pretty...beautiful...gorgeous...uuuuungh...fap fap fap...ahem, er, grin right off her equally silly pretty face, but Twilight Edward Cullen put a hoof on the pegasus mare's shoulder, shaking her head. "Don't do it, Rainrain", Twilight warned her rival sternly. "Who knows what dastardly powers this bitch has at her disposal."
Rainbow didn't want to admit it, but Twilight Breaking Dawn was right. She looked back at the sinister alicorn, wondering what sick twisted thoughts were running through her head as the white alicorn rubbed her crotch area fervently with her tongue hanging out, and with a banana sticking out of her bumhole. "Gah! You're right, Twilight Cabbage. But we - !"
Rainbow Dasher's eyes suddenly went wide. Wait! She has a banana in her bumhole!? Then that means she's going to...OH NO!
"Twilight Zone! Watch out! She's going to give us...!", was all Rainbow Boom Boom was able to say, as she pushed Twilight aside just as Celestitty squeezed her plot cheeks and fired the skin from the banana. The skin peel landed under Rainbow's hoof, causing her to slide and fall to the ground.
"AAAAAAAARGH!", Rainbow Chika Wow Wow screamed in pain, her bod bleeding from the force of the fall. Her injury severe, she struggled to keep her eyes open, but was able to mutter, "... the slip", before her head fell to the floor and her contact lenses fell out.
"RAINBOW ICE LOLLY!!!", Twilight whispered very quietly in shock and horror and arousal. She hurried over to where her dying frenemy lay, holding her in her purple...forelegs...touching her with her...hoooooooooooves...oh god yes, just like that you dirty girl...cough, cough, sorry.
"Twi...Twilight Carmen Electra", Rainbow D.O.A sputtered, getting blood on Twilight Sword's freshly cleaned karate gear. "I have been beaten. It is up to you now, to defeat Princess Chlamydia. Show her what for and four, and let her know what it means to be, a...true...fanmade shipping...". Rainbow closed her eyes, as she drew her final breath, and left the world of the living. "Urrrrg, I'm dead."
Twilight roared at a cloud up in the sky, which flinched and flew away as she began to get very angry, tears streaming down from her eyes as she wept for her lover - I mean, comrade. She threw RainbowBobbity's body to the floor, and faced Princess Celesticky, breathing heavily as she glared daggers at the murdering cunt.
"Ha ha ha!", Celestia giggled in glee as she hopped about. "The rainbow has done gone died!"
"Defeating a rainbow only makes the colors around her more colorful, Celestibee!", Twilight shouted, as she started to glow a bright white light. Those three words rhymed.
Celestia watched on in confusion, while eating a bag of popcorn she magically summoned. She dropped her popular cinema food when the bright white light - rhymed again - disappeared, and there stood Twilight, nothing different whatsoever about her. Accept she had wings now.
Princess Celestikrabby Patty stared at her. "Your...your wings!", she said in disbelief. Her eyebrows fell into a frown. "What are you, a Pokemon?", she demanded.
"No. Alicorn", Twilight stated flatly. She suddenly teleported close to Celestia, and sprouting fingers from the tip of her hoof, she punched the evil galactic terror right in her nipples, severing the evil-doer in half.
"Oh no! In the name of me, I have been defeated!", The defeated dictator of Planet Sega 64 wheezed, barely hanging on to life. "The author was right. That unicorn -"
"Alicorn", Twilight corrected.
"- that 'alicorn' really is a...slutty Brony pornstar." And with those final words, the evil conqueror was no more.
Twilight returned to Rainbow Booty's already-decaying corpse, lifting her up and walking away with the body in her arms. "Come on, Rainy", Twilight Metal Alchemist said quietly. "Let's get you a decent burial."
Rainbow's eyes suddenly shot open, and the cyan pegasus grinned, showing off a pair of fangs. "I'm a vampire now!", she squealed with glee.
DA END
