Gaze into Friendshipby PapineoChaptersNew Journey, Meet a DerpyGirl U iz MagicalParty Hard, Rap HarderSave the MemesWhile Stargaze is out......For mah bronies at NintendoA Place To Call HomeNew Journey, Meet a DerpyI had finally finished my packing. "Food and water, check, laptop, check, Playcolt collection, check, and last, money, check." I looked over at my mom. She was teary-eyed. "Don't worry mom, I'll visit soon." I told her. "I know, I just worry about you, please be safe." She whimpered to me. I hugged her tightly. "I love you mom, and I promise that I'll call you soon." I said to her. "Okay, goodbye Stargaze." She replied. I nodded to her and stepped outside of our house. The adventures of a new man were going to begin soon, that soon being now. I started walking, pacing myself, wanting to catch the view of new things awaiting my arrival. After about thirty minutes, I stopped by a city. "Manehattan eh, wonder if they have restaurants, I'm starving." I thought to myself. I walked over to a fast-food restaurant. I opened the door and went up to the line. After about five minutes, I ordered my meal. "I'll have a double hayburger and a hayshake please." I told the waiter. "Comin right up." She replied to me. I took my seat and looked around. I stopped looking after my eyes landed on a grey pegasus with a yellow mane. "Hey uh, can I sit here?" She asked me. "Sure." I replied. "Thanks, I'm Derpy, Derpy Hooves." She explained to me. "I'm Stargaze Inferno." I replied to her. "Well that's nice, so where are you headed?" She asked me. "Around Equestria, I wanna see every sight and miracle in Equestria."I told her. "That's sweet, but where are you going to sleep?" She asked once more. "Um, the road, a bench, the nearest town, I'm not sure actually." I had explained to her. "Well if you want, you can stay at my house in Cloudsdale." She offered. "It's fine, you don't need to do that." I had told her, rejecting her offer. What was I thinking, this girl had a nice body, and that flank, how many people did sleep in her house? "Um actually, sure, I don't have that many things." I said to her. "Good, we can go after this." She replied to me. For the next thirty minutes we talked about the many spots in Equestria, but I was distracted by her beautiful eyes. We paid the waiter and flew up into Cloudsdale. "Never been here before, where's your house?" I asked Derpy. She pointed to a muffin shaped house made of clouds. Right as she did that the sky became dark. "Well, we better hurry." She told me. I nodded, and we ran over to the muffin-shaped house. I walked in and was slapped with an aroma of many sweets. "Smell's nice in here." I complimented. "Thank you." She replied. "So uh, the guest room is right over there, you can just put your things on this dresser." She pointed out. "Okay, I can't thank you that much for this." I had told her. "Well how can you?" She teased. I did the first thing on my mind, I leaned in and kissed her, embracing every moment of it. She pushed her tongue on and mine, with me responding by playing with it. She tasted like muffins just from the oven. I was so into it that i didn't notice her directing us to a bed. We fell on it, still kissing passionately. I started stroking her erect wings, making her moan. She started doing the same with mine making me moan pleasantly. I then felt something warm on my holy shit she grabbed it! She opened her eyes and winked at me before she started jerking me. I was face full in the pleasure of getting jerked by a girl instead of my hoof. I then felt something wet as she started licking my manhood. I placed my hand on her maidenhood and started stroking it. I could hear her moans of pleasure as I stroked harder and harder. She started sucking, arousing me more and more, making me moan louder. I started to maneuver so that I could lick her maidenhood, putting us into a 69. The more I licked the harder she sucked. She stopped and got up, then aimed her maidenhood at my manhood. She started going down, then she put it in. The pleasure was more than heavenly, as she kept going up and down on me. I couldn't take it anymore. She made me cum right inside of her as we both screamed loudly in pleasure. "I love you Derpy." I whispered to her. "Good, you were to cute to use the guest bed anyways." She replied happily. I stroked her mane with my hoof. "Herp derp." I said. Girl U iz MagicalI left Derpy's house with a few muffins. It felt nice because I had no bits, so she's feeding me for a few days. I walked to the edge of Cloudsdale, peering down to the ground. Now how an i going to get down from here. Oh yeah, I had balls. I backed up, charged forward, and jumped off of the cloud-crazy city. As I fell, I tried to open my wings, but no budge. "What the he-" I last said before colliding with the ground. I woke up groggily somewhere different from where I fell. "Where am I?" I thought to myself. I looked around the bright room, noticing the crapload of books, pens, and ink everywhere. "Oh good, you're not dead." A voice said. "Who the hell was that!?" I screamed while jumping into a karate stance. A purple pony walked out of a shadow. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Twilight Sparkle, also known as the library owner." She told me. "Um, and how did I get here?" I asked Twilight. "I was walking around Ponyville when I saw you lying on the ground. You still had a pulse, but your front hoof was bleeding, so I used a healing spell on you then brought you to my house." She explained. "What about my wings?" I asked demandingly. "Oh those were uh tired, were you happening to be doing anything crazy last night?" She asked questionably. My mind flashed back to the night before. That time with Derpy was amazing. "Hello?" She asked. "What, oh yeah, um no, just um sleeping on a cloud." I lied. "When will they wake up?" I asked Twilight. "In a few hours." She replied. "So where's your house?" She asked. "The ground, a bench, behind some random house." I explained. "Let me guess, adventure around Equestria?" She figured. "Er, yeah." I replied sadly. " Well since you don't have a place, I guess you can stay here in the guest room." She explained. What the hell was up with people and guest rooms? I decided to open my laptop and play some World of BrawlCraft. I then heard some running water and felt some steam. The classic in-the-shower-when-a-guest-is-in-your-house-trick. Did she really think I was going to fall for that? Well, then again...... I walked over to the wall next to the door and took a quick peek inside. "I SAW YOU YA FUCKING PERV!" She screamed, stunning me. I suddenly felt pain as I was kicked through her house and through a window. She then walked over, used a repairing spell, and glared at me through the window. I guess that meant no sleepover that night. I then flew to the nearest cloud and went to sleep. I woke up in a brave mood. I jumped off of the cloud I was on, making me wonder why the hell I keep jumping at high altitudes. I landed safely, but felt a slight pain in my leg. I decided to apologize to Twilight. I knocked on her door slowly. The door opened but nothing was at it. "What the hell?" I thought to myself. I walked in and looked around. The place was deserted, so I just decided to leave a note. But I noticed a book lying on the ground, and saw the title Twilight's Diary. I decided to take one little peek. Dear Diary, Today is April 4th, and today I met the most helpless, inconsiderate, pervert. I thought he was an okay guy, but I just realized that he probably just walks into every mare's house and looks at them when they're taking showers. I saw him peek at me through the door, so I kicked him the hell out of my house, the jackass. But he was really cute, and if he wanted to......oh no what have I done!? I need to get something to make up for this! *I dropped the book and started walking towards the door. "Thanks for the jewels Rarity!" A familiar voice hollered. Aw shit, that was Twilight, if she figures out I was in her house you might as well kill me! I quickly looked around for cover, and saw an opening in one of the bookcases. I jumped into it and placed the books back onto the shelf. "I wonder how Spike's doing up in Canterlot. I need to call him later." She told herself. She walked into the house and closed the door. "Strange, I thought I closed the door earlier on my way out." She told herself.* I flew up to the roof of the tree, and hugged the roof looking down at the floor. "What was that noise?" She asked herself. She looked around her house, not looking up thankfully. "Probably the wind." She finally answered. I was holding on for dear life, with my hands being very sweaty. I heard some running water, and felt some steam. She was really taking a shower *again? This was my chance, I let go of the roof and darted out of her house. I felt light, a little too light. I looked at my back and saw nothing. Shit I left my saddlebag! I stopped in my tracks and dashed back to her house and through the door, grabbed my saddlebag, turned around, and stopped in my tracks. There she was, wet, glaring at me.* "What are you doing in here?" She asked sternly. "Um... getting my saddlebag." I replied nervously. "Oh you mean this saddlebag?" She taunted as she held up another exact copy of my saddlebag. "That's just a copy, I found the real deal as I got out of the shower, and I found my diary in a different spot." She explained. "Fine, I read your diary, so what are you gonna do, kill me?" I taunted. "No, but I will make up for last night." She replied. She then mashed her lips on mine and embraced me passionately. I was reluctant, trying to pull myself off, first she gives me a minor concussion, then she's all over me. I know I'm downright sexy but DAMN GIRL! I finally pulled her off of me, grabbed my saddlebag, and ran the hell out of there. Party Hard, Rap HarderThe event kept spinning around in my mind. "Geez, that was crazy." I thought to myself. I was running long and far away from Twilight's house. I stopped, panting in front of a gingerbread-looking house. I read the name Sugarcube Corner. I looked down at my stomach, I was pretty hungry. I walked inside of the sweet-smelling store, and stopped at the counter. I rang the bell on the counter and heard some noise. Then a pink mare walked out of a room and greeted me. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name, did you know I've had food poisoning!?" She explained very fast. She was sexy, but crazy, pretty obvious. "I'm uh Stargaze, I didn't know you had food poisoning, and I'll have a hay pie." I told Pinkie. "Hey dyu want to come the the Meadow Pub with me tonight?" She asked extremely fast. "Um, sure???" I replied. I quickly horsed down my pie, and checked the time. Pinkie grabbed my hand and dragged me to the Meadow Pub faster than I can fly. "Not a bad place, and Karaoke Night." I thought. A white pony wearing purple tinted sunglasses with a blue mane was at the mic. "Ladies and Gentlecolts, as you know, tonight is Karaoke night at the Meadow Pub, and we're about to flash the mystery spotlight on a lucky pony!" The pony explained. Suddenly a light started flashing rapidly around the landed on a random pony, I looked down and saw the spotlight on me. Today is just a piece of sheeeyit. "Oh you're so lucky, I never get picked to sing!" Pinkie screamed. I sported a fake grin and walked onto the stage. "What's your name lucky pony?" The DJ asked. "S...S...Stargaze Inferno." I answered nervously. "Looks like tonight is rap night, which means the you're singing a duet!" She yelled in enthusiasm. The crowd went nuts. The spotlight then flashed again and landed on an ash-grey pony sitting alone. He walked up onto the stage. "Your name?" The DJ asked. "I uh, actually don't know my name, people just call me Prince." He said boringly. We were both handed mics, and we were both informed on what to do. I talked with him for a few minutes and figured out that we both know one identical rap song. I quickly whispered into the DJ's ear and got ready. The track started spinning and we sang. (Stargaze) This is for my ponies Ain't no phony Shit that they can ferret out No killconey O-G real as hell flows for my cronies Shit it's all love, every pony's a homie Comely to homely Killin em in rodeos, talent shows, real talk no baloney Sonic Rainboom blowin big up on the Sony Ponies, don't fuck with em, you can blow me Pinkamena beat dope, spittin and I'm posted Sitting on the hood while I giggle at the ghostly Fire burn rap sheet Sizzle when I procced, BLAOW! All my syllables are toasty Equestrain Swag Oy Tards it's a new type No show venue got me barred cuz i'm too hype Playing games every day cuz I'm just too fight. Cutie mark looks like a star burnin too bright. (Prince) I be steppin too fresh with the flair from my heir you see, scared of me shouldn't be, giggle at the ghostly I'm about to burn this track like Star Pony flies so bright, so hot, so far Let me tell ya'll now don't be a cutie mark hater you can't stop ponies we'll play you like a gamer Twitcha-twitch sense get tense and stand back work ethic on the track rivals Apple's Macs Pegasus, pony, I've been so fly don't smoke cuz it's gay and you know why Derpy with the Hooves we proves we got moves Yall toothless as Gummy,in short ya rap funny got magic on the flank how much you wanna wager that Prince will probably beat you like the Ursa Major hate all you want you ugly old mule you're never gonna be 20% cooler. (Stargaze) Stargaze, not a clever pony on the track though fuck a fucker sayin faust ever made a wack show or peepin at me made you harvey to the lactose but I can't front as if we're ever gonna lack those slow it down, so far raps i'm fuckin kickin hard like apple-buckin even your mom is askin, wondering "who's that man that swag is somethin" come to think of it i'm very crazy just like Pinkie, sweet like Derpy dense heads head on the feminist fences don't give a shit, if you care about parity that I-T-Y, now I see why they said it was a town that I should try call me Diamond Dog i'm iced out fly rockin magic ass raps i'm so damn fly The crowd went nuts when we were done. Some of the ponies even tried to jump onto the stage. I noticed that whenever Prince looked at Pinkie, he got tense. Unbeknownst to me, Twilight walked into the club also. When Twilight walked next to Pinkie, we both realized one thing. "OH SHIT!" We both screamed. Prince and I ran out of the club and hid behind some bushes. "They're best friends, and Twilight's crazy!" I told Prince quick and quietly. "Well Pinkie's crazy as shit, I ate pie batter...from her VAG!" He whispered back at me. "WHAT!" I replied. Save the MemesWe were both mortified. We both met some crazy people, sang a duet, and have no place to stay. I was using my laptop when I came across a funny game. I was sitting on a cloud with him when we both decided just to do something for fun. "Save the memes huh, let's see, requires skill, and the balls to do it." I read out. "Oh give me a break, that sounds retarded." Prince said in boredom. "Give it a try man." I replied. I pressed start on the menu screen and got a message saying "REQUIRES TWO PEOPLE, PLEASE PUT TWO FACES IN FRONT OF WEBCAM". "You saw the message, get your ass over here." I commanded. He reluctantly got up and put his face in front. Another message showed saying "SCANNING". The screen then said "DATA PORT WILL BE ACCESSED IN TEN SECONDS". I was confused. "The hell does that mea-" I said before getting sucked into my laptop, along with Prince. "It's dark in my laptop." I noted to Prince. "I noticed man, I noticed." He replied A loud lady voice, sounding a lot like the announcer from Dream Fortress 2 said "LOGGING INTO SYSTEM". After about ten seconds, a flat blue area appeared around us. We looked down and saw that we both were holding some type of disk device. "The hell are these?" Prince asked. "I dunno, looks a lot like a... data disk." I replied. They awfully looked like the data disks from the movie Cron:Legacy I saw a few weeks ago. The announcer screamed out "CAN YOU HANDLE THE TROLLS!?". "That sounded friendly." I said sarcastically. A face that looked very suspicious started following us. I was confused, so I slashed it with my disk, shattering it. "I'm starting to like this game already!" I said in enthusiasm. Prince decided to get in on the fun too, hacking at more of the faces. One of them touched me and and sang the most freaking annoying song. "TROLOLOLOLOLO!" It sang. "Gah, that's annoying!" Prince screamed. The floor then changed a lot to look like space. "FEAR THY CAT!" "And what the hell is THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" Prince screamed angrily. A cute ass cat came out of nowhere, singing something that sounds like it came from a kids book. "What...the...fuck." I said blankly. It looked like a Clop-Tart with the head of a cat and looked like it was shitting out a rainbow. "Well....that's disturbing." I told Prince. "Is that healthy?" He replied. The cat's singing got louder, making me start to hold my ears. Five minutes of the singing annoyed to hell out of me. I became very agitated and hurled my data disk at it. It shattered the cat and the floor changed again. It turned into a battlefield with many ponies around us. They all were wearing red and sported RED insignias. "Dream Fortress 2, hell yeah something good for a change!" I screamed. "Lets play ball!" One of the ponies screamed. It must've been a scout. I saw a big and burly pony holding a minigun eating a sandwich. "SANDVICH!" He screamed. Prince and I were wearing classy suits and holding revolvers. We were the spy's, my favorite class in the game. "5...4...3...2...1...BEGIN!" That lady screamed out. The gates opened and everyone charged out. "Now how dyu use that cloak." Prince said to himself. I looked down at my Invis Watch and saw a button, I pushed it out of curiosity, but nothing happened, or so I thought. Hey, where the hell did you go?" Prince asked. "I'm right here." I replied. "Well I don't see you." He yelled. I punched him in the face. He started jumping around in a karate stance. "The hell was that huh? I'll kill you!" He screamed. I pressed the button on my watch again. "Oh there you are, I couldn't find you!" He said in remorse. "Try pressing the button on your watch." I suggested. He looked down at his watch and curiously pressed the button. As I thought he would, he disappeared into a silhouette. "I think I found the cloaking device!" I finally stated. "OH SHIT!" Prince screamed as a bullet nearly missed him. We ran around the whole map, cloaking and killing. By the end of the match, we emerged victorious. Finally, the field disappeared and the weird lady said. "GAME COMPLETE, EXITING DATA PORT IN 5...4...3...2...1...BE GONE!" We appeared back on that cloud, laptop in front of me. "Next time you choose a game, read the damn instructions first!" Prince said angrily. While Stargaze is out......(From the viewpoint of Prince) "Are you kidding me Stargaze! How long does it take to get a card!" Prince screamed at himself. Prince was inside of the house, bored. He played a few games on both consoles before tiring of boredeom. *KNOCK KNOCK* "Huh?". Prince walked over to the door. "Stargaze is that-", he stopped in his tracks when he opened the door. It wasn't Stargaze, it was Pinkie Pie. Prince saw the hot air balloon on their cloud lawn. "Um...what are you doing here?" Prince asked kind of scared. "Oh Princie-wincie, don't you know me, I'm here for you! Prince was scared, confused, dazed, and wondering at the same time. Like how Pinkie walking on a cloud, surely she should be falling to her inevitable doom. Surely Prince wouldn't mind, Pinkie was a potato to him, a bad potato, one that should be in the garbage. "Lemme guess, the purple one." "Yup!" Pinkie replied. "Now why don't you take out your horn silly!" Pinkie demanded thoughtfully. Prince's mind raced, mostly at the fact that Pinkie keeps reminding him that he's an alicorn. He hides it not to get attention, and he's even keeping it from the guy he lives with, Stargaze. Prince's horn appeared from the cloak he placed on it before entering Ponyville. "So again, why are you here?" Prince asked sternly Suddenly, he got hit with a pink hoof and got knocked out, cold. 1 Hour Later Prince awoke strapped to a chair in his house. He looked around sort of dazed and asked "Anyone here?" a few times. Pinkie stepped out of a shadow with a happy looked on her face. " Now that you're immobilized, time for cupcakes!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Oh sweet Celestia, HELP ME!" Prince cried in terror. "Not the story silly, the treat!" Pinkie replied. Pinkie then raised a tray of hot-sauce covered cupcakes. She quickly gulped them all down, but didn't swallow. She hopped over to Prince and kissed the hell out of him. Seriously, his shit just got rocked right there bro, right there. She then spat the not even chewed cupcakes into Prince's mouth, making his eyes water in pain. He started muffling from the heat of the hot sauce and spat the cupcakes out. "Oh did I forget the duct tape?" Pinkie asked herself before placing a layer of duct tape over Prince's mouth. She then takes out a dildo and starts fingering herself with poor Prince having to watch. Then about five seconds later as the boner set in...Pinkie walks over and starts to give Prince a (figure that part out). Prince moaned in pleasure and terror starting to try to get her to stop. Just as the or(figure it out) was about to set in, there was a knock on the door. The door opened with a happy Stargaze holding a Tinysoft Points card. The happiness suddenly turned to blankness when Stargaze saw the scene in front of him. Stargaze closed the door, turned around, jumped off the cloud, and landed on the cold hard ground with a thud. For mah bronies at Nintendo(Not relating to the story) "Come on, come on, DAMMIT!" I yelled while playing Mario Carriage 7. Prince had gotten me a Buctendo 3DS for Celestmas along with two games. "Hey, Stargaze....guess what Pearl Shine just sent me....gigitty." Prince said jokingly. "What is it now?" I asked "Come look." I walked over holding my blue 3DS in my hand while I peered into his black 3DS only to see a white hoof holding open someone's love. "Man, the 3D makes it friggin sweet, but um who's...oh hell no BLUEBLOOD!" I screamed. I ran out of the house, jumped into a cannon(wut?) and launched myself to Canterlot. I landed on a creeper which blew me too the castle doors. Prince then came with a giant minigun a busted the door open. I then raced in with a water pack donning the letters F.L.U.U.D., spraying everything in sight before Prince locked both a his hands screaming "KAMEHAMEHA" before a blue beam of energy expelled, frying everything in it's path. He then threw me into a Pack-A-Punch machine giving me the power to breathe blue fire, in which I burned down Blueblood's door. "And we only did it in ten seconds flat!" Prince said happily. Prince then passed out at the horrific scene happening, Blueblood holding open Sweetie Belle's loves with Pearl taking pictures with her pink 3DS. "Merry Celestmas!" Pearl said happily. Can you spot the references, first one gets a cookie!" A Place To Call HomeWe were walking along a road, and noticed the crapload of clouds above us. "You think we need a house?" I asked Prince. "Sure I guess." He replied. For the next ten minutes, we were buying furniture....more like Prince was buying furniture and I was just watching. I had decided to shape our house with the clouds. It looked great, and could be big enough for a game room even. I was just finishing when furniture started landing like meteors onto the house. "SHIT!" I screamed. I looked to the ground and saw Prince throwing each piece of furniture into the air. I had dodged a couch and a lamp by inches. "HEY!" I yelled down at him. He looked up confused. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" I screamed. "GIVING YOU THE FURNITURE!" He yelled back. "WELL DO YOU HAVE TO THROW IT!" I screamed. "WELL IT'S HEAVY AS SHIT, GIVE ME A BREAK!" He replied. "FINE!" I finished. I decided to do the interior of the house, placing the furniture in different places. I looked back down at Prince real quick. "BY THE WAY! DID YOU GET THE PACKAGE?" I yelled. "YES I DID!" He replied happily. He flew up to the house holding a big, brown box. We quickly opened the box and saw two, beautiful items. First, an X-Clop 360 Slim, next, a Playstable 3. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" Prince said dreamily. "My manhood?" I suggested. *WHACK* "I deserved that." I said rubbing my now red cheek. "Wait... we don't have a T.V." Prince implied. "Well shit, we don't have a computer either. We really should have thought his out." I replied. "I'll, get the T.V., hey don't they have 3.D. ones now?" Prince told me. "Yup, also, get an AlienWare P.C., it's for the ultimate gamer. Also some Rabbit Beaches, for the noobs I'll have to argue with." I suggested. "Got it, and you need to finish the interior decorating." Prince replied. 3 more hours later. I plopped down onto our couch and looked at the time. Let's see, 10:39 P.M. on the day after I nearly got laid by a crazy unicorn... nice." I told myself. The door opened and Prince came in with a lot of boxes. "Do you know what today is?" He asked panting. "Create-Our-House Day?" I said playfully. "How bout the release day of the second map pack on Call of Cutie: Colt Ops." He told me. "That was today, aw shit, I have no money, I can't get any Tinysoft Points." I said surprised. He threw me some bits and told me he was really tired, and that I'll have to buy them.
New Journey, Meet a DerpyI had finally finished my packing. "Food and water, check, laptop, check, Playcolt collection, check, and last, money, check." I looked over at my mom. She was teary-eyed. "Don't worry mom, I'll visit soon." I told her. "I know, I just worry about you, please be safe." She whimpered to me. I hugged her tightly. "I love you mom, and I promise that I'll call you soon." I said to her. "Okay, goodbye Stargaze." She replied. I nodded to her and stepped outside of our house. The adventures of a new man were going to begin soon, that soon being now. I started walking, pacing myself, wanting to catch the view of new things awaiting my arrival. After about thirty minutes, I stopped by a city. "Manehattan eh, wonder if they have restaurants, I'm starving." I thought to myself. I walked over to a fast-food restaurant. I opened the door and went up to the line. After about five minutes, I ordered my meal. "I'll have a double hayburger and a hayshake please." I told the waiter. "Comin right up." She replied to me. I took my seat and looked around. I stopped looking after my eyes landed on a grey pegasus with a yellow mane. "Hey uh, can I sit here?" She asked me. "Sure." I replied. "Thanks, I'm Derpy, Derpy Hooves." She explained to me. "I'm Stargaze Inferno." I replied to her. "Well that's nice, so where are you headed?" She asked me. "Around Equestria, I wanna see every sight and miracle in Equestria."I told her. "That's sweet, but where are you going to sleep?" She asked once more. "Um, the road, a bench, the nearest town, I'm not sure actually." I had explained to her. "Well if you want, you can stay at my house in Cloudsdale." She offered. "It's fine, you don't need to do that." I had told her, rejecting her offer. What was I thinking, this girl had a nice body, and that flank, how many people did sleep in her house? "Um actually, sure, I don't have that many things." I said to her. "Good, we can go after this." She replied to me. For the next thirty minutes we talked about the many spots in Equestria, but I was distracted by her beautiful eyes. We paid the waiter and flew up into Cloudsdale. "Never been here before, where's your house?" I asked Derpy. She pointed to a muffin shaped house made of clouds. Right as she did that the sky became dark. "Well, we better hurry." She told me. I nodded, and we ran over to the muffin-shaped house. I walked in and was slapped with an aroma of many sweets. "Smell's nice in here." I complimented. "Thank you." She replied. "So uh, the guest room is right over there, you can just put your things on this dresser." She pointed out. "Okay, I can't thank you that much for this." I had told her. "Well how can you?" She teased. I did the first thing on my mind, I leaned in and kissed her, embracing every moment of it. She pushed her tongue on and mine, with me responding by playing with it. She tasted like muffins just from the oven. I was so into it that i didn't notice her directing us to a bed. We fell on it, still kissing passionately. I started stroking her erect wings, making her moan. She started doing the same with mine making me moan pleasantly. I then felt something warm on my holy shit she grabbed it! She opened her eyes and winked at me before she started jerking me. I was face full in the pleasure of getting jerked by a girl instead of my hoof. I then felt something wet as she started licking my manhood. I placed my hand on her maidenhood and started stroking it. I could hear her moans of pleasure as I stroked harder and harder. She started sucking, arousing me more and more, making me moan louder. I started to maneuver so that I could lick her maidenhood, putting us into a 69. The more I licked the harder she sucked. She stopped and got up, then aimed her maidenhood at my manhood. She started going down, then she put it in. The pleasure was more than heavenly, as she kept going up and down on me. I couldn't take it anymore. She made me cum right inside of her as we both screamed loudly in pleasure. "I love you Derpy." I whispered to her. "Good, you were to cute to use the guest bed anyways." She replied happily. I stroked her mane with my hoof. "Herp derp." I said.
Girl U iz MagicalI left Derpy's house with a few muffins. It felt nice because I had no bits, so she's feeding me for a few days. I walked to the edge of Cloudsdale, peering down to the ground. Now how an i going to get down from here. Oh yeah, I had balls. I backed up, charged forward, and jumped off of the cloud-crazy city. As I fell, I tried to open my wings, but no budge. "What the he-" I last said before colliding with the ground. I woke up groggily somewhere different from where I fell. "Where am I?" I thought to myself. I looked around the bright room, noticing the crapload of books, pens, and ink everywhere. "Oh good, you're not dead." A voice said. "Who the hell was that!?" I screamed while jumping into a karate stance. A purple pony walked out of a shadow. "Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Twilight Sparkle, also known as the library owner." She told me. "Um, and how did I get here?" I asked Twilight. "I was walking around Ponyville when I saw you lying on the ground. You still had a pulse, but your front hoof was bleeding, so I used a healing spell on you then brought you to my house." She explained. "What about my wings?" I asked demandingly. "Oh those were uh tired, were you happening to be doing anything crazy last night?" She asked questionably. My mind flashed back to the night before. That time with Derpy was amazing. "Hello?" She asked. "What, oh yeah, um no, just um sleeping on a cloud." I lied. "When will they wake up?" I asked Twilight. "In a few hours." She replied. "So where's your house?" She asked. "The ground, a bench, behind some random house." I explained. "Let me guess, adventure around Equestria?" She figured. "Er, yeah." I replied sadly. " Well since you don't have a place, I guess you can stay here in the guest room." She explained. What the hell was up with people and guest rooms? I decided to open my laptop and play some World of BrawlCraft. I then heard some running water and felt some steam. The classic in-the-shower-when-a-guest-is-in-your-house-trick. Did she really think I was going to fall for that? Well, then again...... I walked over to the wall next to the door and took a quick peek inside. "I SAW YOU YA FUCKING PERV!" She screamed, stunning me. I suddenly felt pain as I was kicked through her house and through a window. She then walked over, used a repairing spell, and glared at me through the window. I guess that meant no sleepover that night. I then flew to the nearest cloud and went to sleep. I woke up in a brave mood. I jumped off of the cloud I was on, making me wonder why the hell I keep jumping at high altitudes. I landed safely, but felt a slight pain in my leg. I decided to apologize to Twilight. I knocked on her door slowly. The door opened but nothing was at it. "What the hell?" I thought to myself. I walked in and looked around. The place was deserted, so I just decided to leave a note. But I noticed a book lying on the ground, and saw the title Twilight's Diary. I decided to take one little peek. Dear Diary, Today is April 4th, and today I met the most helpless, inconsiderate, pervert. I thought he was an okay guy, but I just realized that he probably just walks into every mare's house and looks at them when they're taking showers. I saw him peek at me through the door, so I kicked him the hell out of my house, the jackass. But he was really cute, and if he wanted to......oh no what have I done!? I need to get something to make up for this! *I dropped the book and started walking towards the door. "Thanks for the jewels Rarity!" A familiar voice hollered. Aw shit, that was Twilight, if she figures out I was in her house you might as well kill me! I quickly looked around for cover, and saw an opening in one of the bookcases. I jumped into it and placed the books back onto the shelf. "I wonder how Spike's doing up in Canterlot. I need to call him later." She told herself. She walked into the house and closed the door. "Strange, I thought I closed the door earlier on my way out." She told herself.* I flew up to the roof of the tree, and hugged the roof looking down at the floor. "What was that noise?" She asked herself. She looked around her house, not looking up thankfully. "Probably the wind." She finally answered. I was holding on for dear life, with my hands being very sweaty. I heard some running water, and felt some steam. She was really taking a shower *again? This was my chance, I let go of the roof and darted out of her house. I felt light, a little too light. I looked at my back and saw nothing. Shit I left my saddlebag! I stopped in my tracks and dashed back to her house and through the door, grabbed my saddlebag, turned around, and stopped in my tracks. There she was, wet, glaring at me.* "What are you doing in here?" She asked sternly. "Um... getting my saddlebag." I replied nervously. "Oh you mean this saddlebag?" She taunted as she held up another exact copy of my saddlebag. "That's just a copy, I found the real deal as I got out of the shower, and I found my diary in a different spot." She explained. "Fine, I read your diary, so what are you gonna do, kill me?" I taunted. "No, but I will make up for last night." She replied. She then mashed her lips on mine and embraced me passionately. I was reluctant, trying to pull myself off, first she gives me a minor concussion, then she's all over me. I know I'm downright sexy but DAMN GIRL! I finally pulled her off of me, grabbed my saddlebag, and ran the hell out of there.
Party Hard, Rap HarderThe event kept spinning around in my mind. "Geez, that was crazy." I thought to myself. I was running long and far away from Twilight's house. I stopped, panting in front of a gingerbread-looking house. I read the name Sugarcube Corner. I looked down at my stomach, I was pretty hungry. I walked inside of the sweet-smelling store, and stopped at the counter. I rang the bell on the counter and heard some noise. Then a pink mare walked out of a room and greeted me. "Hi I'm Pinkie Pie, what's your name, did you know I've had food poisoning!?" She explained very fast. She was sexy, but crazy, pretty obvious. "I'm uh Stargaze, I didn't know you had food poisoning, and I'll have a hay pie." I told Pinkie. "Hey dyu want to come the the Meadow Pub with me tonight?" She asked extremely fast. "Um, sure???" I replied. I quickly horsed down my pie, and checked the time. Pinkie grabbed my hand and dragged me to the Meadow Pub faster than I can fly. "Not a bad place, and Karaoke Night." I thought. A white pony wearing purple tinted sunglasses with a blue mane was at the mic. "Ladies and Gentlecolts, as you know, tonight is Karaoke night at the Meadow Pub, and we're about to flash the mystery spotlight on a lucky pony!" The pony explained. Suddenly a light started flashing rapidly around the landed on a random pony, I looked down and saw the spotlight on me. Today is just a piece of sheeeyit. "Oh you're so lucky, I never get picked to sing!" Pinkie screamed. I sported a fake grin and walked onto the stage. "What's your name lucky pony?" The DJ asked. "S...S...Stargaze Inferno." I answered nervously. "Looks like tonight is rap night, which means the you're singing a duet!" She yelled in enthusiasm. The crowd went nuts. The spotlight then flashed again and landed on an ash-grey pony sitting alone. He walked up onto the stage. "Your name?" The DJ asked. "I uh, actually don't know my name, people just call me Prince." He said boringly. We were both handed mics, and we were both informed on what to do. I talked with him for a few minutes and figured out that we both know one identical rap song. I quickly whispered into the DJ's ear and got ready. The track started spinning and we sang. (Stargaze) This is for my ponies Ain't no phony Shit that they can ferret out No killconey O-G real as hell flows for my cronies Shit it's all love, every pony's a homie Comely to homely Killin em in rodeos, talent shows, real talk no baloney Sonic Rainboom blowin big up on the Sony Ponies, don't fuck with em, you can blow me Pinkamena beat dope, spittin and I'm posted Sitting on the hood while I giggle at the ghostly Fire burn rap sheet Sizzle when I procced, BLAOW! All my syllables are toasty Equestrain Swag Oy Tards it's a new type No show venue got me barred cuz i'm too hype Playing games every day cuz I'm just too fight. Cutie mark looks like a star burnin too bright. (Prince) I be steppin too fresh with the flair from my heir you see, scared of me shouldn't be, giggle at the ghostly I'm about to burn this track like Star Pony flies so bright, so hot, so far Let me tell ya'll now don't be a cutie mark hater you can't stop ponies we'll play you like a gamer Twitcha-twitch sense get tense and stand back work ethic on the track rivals Apple's Macs Pegasus, pony, I've been so fly don't smoke cuz it's gay and you know why Derpy with the Hooves we proves we got moves Yall toothless as Gummy,in short ya rap funny got magic on the flank how much you wanna wager that Prince will probably beat you like the Ursa Major hate all you want you ugly old mule you're never gonna be 20% cooler. (Stargaze) Stargaze, not a clever pony on the track though fuck a fucker sayin faust ever made a wack show or peepin at me made you harvey to the lactose but I can't front as if we're ever gonna lack those slow it down, so far raps i'm fuckin kickin hard like apple-buckin even your mom is askin, wondering "who's that man that swag is somethin" come to think of it i'm very crazy just like Pinkie, sweet like Derpy dense heads head on the feminist fences don't give a shit, if you care about parity that I-T-Y, now I see why they said it was a town that I should try call me Diamond Dog i'm iced out fly rockin magic ass raps i'm so damn fly The crowd went nuts when we were done. Some of the ponies even tried to jump onto the stage. I noticed that whenever Prince looked at Pinkie, he got tense. Unbeknownst to me, Twilight walked into the club also. When Twilight walked next to Pinkie, we both realized one thing. "OH SHIT!" We both screamed. Prince and I ran out of the club and hid behind some bushes. "They're best friends, and Twilight's crazy!" I told Prince quick and quietly. "Well Pinkie's crazy as shit, I ate pie batter...from her VAG!" He whispered back at me. "WHAT!" I replied.
Save the MemesWe were both mortified. We both met some crazy people, sang a duet, and have no place to stay. I was using my laptop when I came across a funny game. I was sitting on a cloud with him when we both decided just to do something for fun. "Save the memes huh, let's see, requires skill, and the balls to do it." I read out. "Oh give me a break, that sounds retarded." Prince said in boredom. "Give it a try man." I replied. I pressed start on the menu screen and got a message saying "REQUIRES TWO PEOPLE, PLEASE PUT TWO FACES IN FRONT OF WEBCAM". "You saw the message, get your ass over here." I commanded. He reluctantly got up and put his face in front. Another message showed saying "SCANNING". The screen then said "DATA PORT WILL BE ACCESSED IN TEN SECONDS". I was confused. "The hell does that mea-" I said before getting sucked into my laptop, along with Prince. "It's dark in my laptop." I noted to Prince. "I noticed man, I noticed." He replied A loud lady voice, sounding a lot like the announcer from Dream Fortress 2 said "LOGGING INTO SYSTEM". After about ten seconds, a flat blue area appeared around us. We looked down and saw that we both were holding some type of disk device. "The hell are these?" Prince asked. "I dunno, looks a lot like a... data disk." I replied. They awfully looked like the data disks from the movie Cron:Legacy I saw a few weeks ago. The announcer screamed out "CAN YOU HANDLE THE TROLLS!?". "That sounded friendly." I said sarcastically. A face that looked very suspicious started following us. I was confused, so I slashed it with my disk, shattering it. "I'm starting to like this game already!" I said in enthusiasm. Prince decided to get in on the fun too, hacking at more of the faces. One of them touched me and and sang the most freaking annoying song. "TROLOLOLOLOLO!" It sang. "Gah, that's annoying!" Prince screamed. The floor then changed a lot to look like space. "FEAR THY CAT!" "And what the hell is THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!" Prince screamed angrily. A cute ass cat came out of nowhere, singing something that sounds like it came from a kids book. "What...the...fuck." I said blankly. It looked like a Clop-Tart with the head of a cat and looked like it was shitting out a rainbow. "Well....that's disturbing." I told Prince. "Is that healthy?" He replied. The cat's singing got louder, making me start to hold my ears. Five minutes of the singing annoyed to hell out of me. I became very agitated and hurled my data disk at it. It shattered the cat and the floor changed again. It turned into a battlefield with many ponies around us. They all were wearing red and sported RED insignias. "Dream Fortress 2, hell yeah something good for a change!" I screamed. "Lets play ball!" One of the ponies screamed. It must've been a scout. I saw a big and burly pony holding a minigun eating a sandwich. "SANDVICH!" He screamed. Prince and I were wearing classy suits and holding revolvers. We were the spy's, my favorite class in the game. "5...4...3...2...1...BEGIN!" That lady screamed out. The gates opened and everyone charged out. "Now how dyu use that cloak." Prince said to himself. I looked down at my Invis Watch and saw a button, I pushed it out of curiosity, but nothing happened, or so I thought. Hey, where the hell did you go?" Prince asked. "I'm right here." I replied. "Well I don't see you." He yelled. I punched him in the face. He started jumping around in a karate stance. "The hell was that huh? I'll kill you!" He screamed. I pressed the button on my watch again. "Oh there you are, I couldn't find you!" He said in remorse. "Try pressing the button on your watch." I suggested. He looked down at his watch and curiously pressed the button. As I thought he would, he disappeared into a silhouette. "I think I found the cloaking device!" I finally stated. "OH SHIT!" Prince screamed as a bullet nearly missed him. We ran around the whole map, cloaking and killing. By the end of the match, we emerged victorious. Finally, the field disappeared and the weird lady said. "GAME COMPLETE, EXITING DATA PORT IN 5...4...3...2...1...BE GONE!" We appeared back on that cloud, laptop in front of me. "Next time you choose a game, read the damn instructions first!" Prince said angrily.
While Stargaze is out......(From the viewpoint of Prince) "Are you kidding me Stargaze! How long does it take to get a card!" Prince screamed at himself. Prince was inside of the house, bored. He played a few games on both consoles before tiring of boredeom. *KNOCK KNOCK* "Huh?". Prince walked over to the door. "Stargaze is that-", he stopped in his tracks when he opened the door. It wasn't Stargaze, it was Pinkie Pie. Prince saw the hot air balloon on their cloud lawn. "Um...what are you doing here?" Prince asked kind of scared. "Oh Princie-wincie, don't you know me, I'm here for you! Prince was scared, confused, dazed, and wondering at the same time. Like how Pinkie walking on a cloud, surely she should be falling to her inevitable doom. Surely Prince wouldn't mind, Pinkie was a potato to him, a bad potato, one that should be in the garbage. "Lemme guess, the purple one." "Yup!" Pinkie replied. "Now why don't you take out your horn silly!" Pinkie demanded thoughtfully. Prince's mind raced, mostly at the fact that Pinkie keeps reminding him that he's an alicorn. He hides it not to get attention, and he's even keeping it from the guy he lives with, Stargaze. Prince's horn appeared from the cloak he placed on it before entering Ponyville. "So again, why are you here?" Prince asked sternly Suddenly, he got hit with a pink hoof and got knocked out, cold. 1 Hour Later Prince awoke strapped to a chair in his house. He looked around sort of dazed and asked "Anyone here?" a few times. Pinkie stepped out of a shadow with a happy looked on her face. " Now that you're immobilized, time for cupcakes!" Pinkie exclaimed. "Oh sweet Celestia, HELP ME!" Prince cried in terror. "Not the story silly, the treat!" Pinkie replied. Pinkie then raised a tray of hot-sauce covered cupcakes. She quickly gulped them all down, but didn't swallow. She hopped over to Prince and kissed the hell out of him. Seriously, his shit just got rocked right there bro, right there. She then spat the not even chewed cupcakes into Prince's mouth, making his eyes water in pain. He started muffling from the heat of the hot sauce and spat the cupcakes out. "Oh did I forget the duct tape?" Pinkie asked herself before placing a layer of duct tape over Prince's mouth. She then takes out a dildo and starts fingering herself with poor Prince having to watch. Then about five seconds later as the boner set in...Pinkie walks over and starts to give Prince a (figure that part out). Prince moaned in pleasure and terror starting to try to get her to stop. Just as the or(figure it out) was about to set in, there was a knock on the door. The door opened with a happy Stargaze holding a Tinysoft Points card. The happiness suddenly turned to blankness when Stargaze saw the scene in front of him. Stargaze closed the door, turned around, jumped off the cloud, and landed on the cold hard ground with a thud.
For mah bronies at Nintendo(Not relating to the story) "Come on, come on, DAMMIT!" I yelled while playing Mario Carriage 7. Prince had gotten me a Buctendo 3DS for Celestmas along with two games. "Hey, Stargaze....guess what Pearl Shine just sent me....gigitty." Prince said jokingly. "What is it now?" I asked "Come look." I walked over holding my blue 3DS in my hand while I peered into his black 3DS only to see a white hoof holding open someone's love. "Man, the 3D makes it friggin sweet, but um who's...oh hell no BLUEBLOOD!" I screamed. I ran out of the house, jumped into a cannon(wut?) and launched myself to Canterlot. I landed on a creeper which blew me too the castle doors. Prince then came with a giant minigun a busted the door open. I then raced in with a water pack donning the letters F.L.U.U.D., spraying everything in sight before Prince locked both a his hands screaming "KAMEHAMEHA" before a blue beam of energy expelled, frying everything in it's path. He then threw me into a Pack-A-Punch machine giving me the power to breathe blue fire, in which I burned down Blueblood's door. "And we only did it in ten seconds flat!" Prince said happily. Prince then passed out at the horrific scene happening, Blueblood holding open Sweetie Belle's loves with Pearl taking pictures with her pink 3DS. "Merry Celestmas!" Pearl said happily. Can you spot the references, first one gets a cookie!"
A Place To Call HomeWe were walking along a road, and noticed the crapload of clouds above us. "You think we need a house?" I asked Prince. "Sure I guess." He replied. For the next ten minutes, we were buying furniture....more like Prince was buying furniture and I was just watching. I had decided to shape our house with the clouds. It looked great, and could be big enough for a game room even. I was just finishing when furniture started landing like meteors onto the house. "SHIT!" I screamed. I looked to the ground and saw Prince throwing each piece of furniture into the air. I had dodged a couch and a lamp by inches. "HEY!" I yelled down at him. He looked up confused. "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" I screamed. "GIVING YOU THE FURNITURE!" He yelled back. "WELL DO YOU HAVE TO THROW IT!" I screamed. "WELL IT'S HEAVY AS SHIT, GIVE ME A BREAK!" He replied. "FINE!" I finished. I decided to do the interior of the house, placing the furniture in different places. I looked back down at Prince real quick. "BY THE WAY! DID YOU GET THE PACKAGE?" I yelled. "YES I DID!" He replied happily. He flew up to the house holding a big, brown box. We quickly opened the box and saw two, beautiful items. First, an X-Clop 360 Slim, next, a Playstable 3. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" Prince said dreamily. "My manhood?" I suggested. *WHACK* "I deserved that." I said rubbing my now red cheek. "Wait... we don't have a T.V." Prince implied. "Well shit, we don't have a computer either. We really should have thought his out." I replied. "I'll, get the T.V., hey don't they have 3.D. ones now?" Prince told me. "Yup, also, get an AlienWare P.C., it's for the ultimate gamer. Also some Rabbit Beaches, for the noobs I'll have to argue with." I suggested. "Got it, and you need to finish the interior decorating." Prince replied. 3 more hours later. I plopped down onto our couch and looked at the time. Let's see, 10:39 P.M. on the day after I nearly got laid by a crazy unicorn... nice." I told myself. The door opened and Prince came in with a lot of boxes. "Do you know what today is?" He asked panting. "Create-Our-House Day?" I said playfully. "How bout the release day of the second map pack on Call of Cutie: Colt Ops." He told me. "That was today, aw shit, I have no money, I can't get any Tinysoft Points." I said surprised. He threw me some bits and told me he was really tired, and that I'll have to buy them.
