On a quiet day in the bunker, Gunsche decides to walk into der Führer's office to inquire on his latest plan. "I have been informed you wish to visit Equestria, mein Führer. Also, why are we speaking in english?"
"It matters not, Gunsche." Hitler waved off the latter part of his subordinate's statement. "Equestria's more important." He begins with his exposition. "Now is the perfect time!"
Gunsche didn't respond. He just stood patiently in attention.
"I have it all planned out! Just watch!"
Meanwhile in Equestria, Celestia was standing in the center of a stage in front of countless amounts of her subjects. They have all gathered to witness her raise the sun on the morning of this momentous day of the year, the Summer Sun Celebration. As the sun barely shone from behind the hillside in the horizon, she addresses the ponies with the traditional speech. "Fillies and Gentlecolts; Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi. It is my duty and greatest honour... to be here today on this great day to--" Her speech was cut short when a strange creature ran in front of her and swiped her crown right off of her head.
"I'll be taking that! Ha ha ha!" The alien cried as he sprinted off the stage and through the dumbfounded crowd. It was a pale, bipedal, and mostly bald creature with a questionable manecut and facial hair. It wore nothing but a long scarf and a pair of Nikes. Its lack of a layer of fur made a certain feature be on full display for all to see, just whipping about as the creature ran frantically. Everypony in the crowd was either confused, disgusted, or in hysterics. What made it worse was the creature cartwheeled from time to time. "Yippee!" It yelled.
Celestia's guards all scrambled in a futile effort to reclaim the holy artifact. They were all in some way not at their best. Whether it was their lack of knowledge of dealing with two-legged animals, laughing too hard to concentrate, or averting their eyes once they got too close. One thing's for sure: None of them focused right enough to have the bright idea to retrieve the crown with... well, magic.
Hitler continued to elude the guards which all tried to grab him and tackle him to the ground. He yelled out nonsense to his delight during his evasion. "München für die Olympischen Spiele! Retten Sie die Pinguine vor dem Aussterben! Recyceln Sie alle harten Kunststoffe!"
Celestia, oddly enough, was having a rousing time up at her pedestal. She was giggling so hard, she almost didn't care that her crown could be lost from her forever. The fact that it was being stolen by such a bewildering creature, and in such a crude manner to boot, was too amusing a sight to take seriously. She cherished every moment as she watched her guards either fail or reasonably hesitate to apprehend the thief. She did use her magic, but only to conjure a small pair of binoculars to get a better view of the fleeting alien.
When the ponies in the crowd weren't walking out of the way to unintentionally clear a path, they were either gasping in shock or even cheering the mutant ape on. Several mothers were naturally covering the eyes of their children.
Hitler continued to weave through and hop over the quickly self-incapacitated guards. He proclaimed with the utmost cockiness, "Freeze this on a stick and suck it!" He ignored the cold breeze brush against his gratuitously exposed body; his shriveling instrument causing many nearby ponies to convulse into more intense laughter. There came several instances when the ponies were too awe-struck to step out of the way, forcing Hitler to jump high and straddle his legs out to the sides as he flew over them. Those particular unfortunate souls only became more stiff, and in desperate need of therapy.
The alien was nearly a hoofball field's length away when Celestia gathered her bearings and started to take the matter more seriously. She stood up confidently and magically lifted her podium above her head for use as a projectile. That plan would not be carried out as she witnessed the animal hop on the back of one her more stoutly built guards. The way he bucked about in an attempt to toss the creature off as it held firmly onto his horn caused the almighty princess of the sun to resume her giggle fit. Her magic faltered and the podium crashed down on her and broke into several pieces. Being the alicorn she was, Celestia felt no pain and barely noticed that it did so.
The humiliated guard laid down on the ground to steamroll Hitler as he was still on his back, only to have him immediately jump off and continue down the street. The guard stayed on the pavement and covered his face in shame with his helmet, more so to help cloud his mind of his ordeal.
Hitler turned a corner and saw the portal from which he originally used to get here. Without so much as a "goodbye", he dove through the portal and ended up just outside the bunker.
Discord appeared in the back of the crowd where Hitler recently emerged from holding a bucket of popcorn, his face aglow with a smile of great anxiety. As he saw the astonished crowd to one side, and the portal on the other, he dropped his bucket and pouted. "Awww!" He snaps his fingers to extinguish the vortex. "...I missed it!"
Later on back in the bunker, Gunsche was experiencing the strangest feeling of deja vu as he returned to Hitler's office. "I hear your streak was a success, mein Führer. Where exactly are you keeping the crown?"
Hitler responded with great disdain at his subordinate's inquiry. "I would love to show you, but that idiot Fegelein returned it." He grew more and more frustrated as he continued. "How could he do that?! I humiliated myself for nothing! That prick!" He fanned his hand slowly over his desk. "I didn't draw out this elaborate plan just to end up empty-handed! Curse him!" He shouted at Gunsche, demanding that he obey. "Bring me that traitor Fegelein! Fegelein!" -He violently slammed his fist on the desk- "Fegelein, Fegelein!"
Author's Note
Whether you loved it or hated it, I felt this was a random thought inspired by a youtube video that was too amusing to ignore.
