Revive, Repair, Reprogram

by RLYoshi

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 6053

An experiment to protect Equestria when the Elements may fail results in two ponies who previously lost their lives being given a second chance. And an upgrade... or two... or twenty.

When the Changelings attacked and the Elements of Harmony were unable to save the day, they lucked out when the love between Shining Armor and Princess Cadance fended them off. But they may not be so lucky next time. So scientists, under Princess Celestia's orders, began working with new technology to develop a failsafe plan should things ever go awry again.

Their solution? Find two ponies, recently deceased with minimal brain injury, and revive them. Upgrade them. Turn them into the brains and brawn to back up the Elements should trouble rise again… and, just to be safe, send them to live in the same town as the Elements.

This is the story of Deadbolt and Chain Link; former factory workers, now barely stable cybernetic stallions, attempting to regain their normal life.

This story is a collab between myself and Mobius of the Moon. The story itself starts after the conclusion of season 4, and we will not be accommodating for episodes that come out from season 5 onward unless we decide it'd be funny to get our characters involved in that.

Tags may be added and ratings may be changed as the story progresses. As of now it is rated teen for mild language and vague descriptions of violent events, and all tags are accurate as of how far we are in the story based on published chapters.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-06 22:26:34 UTC

Prologue: The Experiment

“Nucleus.”

The lime green pegasus jumps, her darker green mane and tail standing on end before she turns and sighs in relief, seeing a familiar mare in the doorway of her lab. She bows. “Princess.”

Princess Celestia smiles, though one can tell it’s slightly forced. “I do not mean to interfere or pry, but may I ask how your assignment is coming along?”

Nucleus stands up, nodding rapidly. “We’ve been working on it day and night, Princess. I know it’s been a while, but… well, our first idea bombed, the prototypes for our second didn’t work out...”

The princess holds up a hoof, silencing her. “No need to explain, Nucleus. I know very well progress can take a long, long time. I am merely interested in where you are now.”

This causes the green mare to grin. “Actually, we’re almost done!” This prompts a raised eyebrow. “They’re just fixing up a few things.”

“I must admit my curiosity,” Celestia says. “The last I heard, your plan was to develop… robots, I believe?”

“Yeah…” Nucleus rubs the back of her neck. “They… kinda flopped.”

“Do tell.”

“Well, for one thing, programming AI from scratch is tough, especially when trying to couple it with pony-level intelligence and friendliness. Our first prototype tried attacking us and our second killed itself when it learned it wasn’t a real pony.” She coughs awkwardly. “So… we thought of something else.”

Celestia tilts her head. “What might that be?”

“We don’t need to program ponylike AI if they already have a pony’s brain, right?” Now Nucleus grins again. “So we found two ponies who died recently with their brains intact and began upgrading their bodies.”

“You… you what?” The normally unflappable princess finds herself taken aback. “You attempted to experiment on dead ponies?”

“Not just attempted!” The mare giggles as she turns to a closed door off to the side. “Hey, Circuit Breaker! They done yet?”

A few muffled sounds come from the door before it slides open. A dark gray unicorn stallion pokes his head out. “We just finished. Why?” Noticing the princess, he quickly bows.

“It’s time to show them off to our test audience.”

Princess Celestia finds herself standing in an odd chamber; one almost pitch-black aside from two glowing green lights at the far end from the door she stands by. She glances around, noticing she is surrounded by mares and stallions in what one would call ‘scientist wear’; lab coats, protective goggles, and for unicorns, a clipboard and quill for notes. Four of them, right at the green lights shrouding what seem to be giant capsules, seem to be waiting for a signal, their hooves on different switches.

Nucleus, standing right beside the princess, looks at her with a confident expression. “I’m sure you’ll like what we developed, Princess.”

“I hope so,” Celestia mutters. Nucleus grins and nods to the ponies at the switches.

They nod back and, simultaneously, pull all four before starting to back away. The green lights start to fade as the sound of a generator powering up drowns out all muttering and scratching of quill against parchment. After several minutes, the green lights fade completely, as the plain overhead lights turn on instead, and the generator goes quiet.

For a couple minutes, nothing happens. The princess blinks. “...what are we-”

A sudden creaking sound cuts her off, and a second later, the capsules start to open. The front of each capsule slides down into the floor, puffs of steam coming from them and briefly obscuring their view of what may be inside. Then, the steam clears… and reveals two regular ponies.

At least, at a glance they appear to be regular ponies, but a second look reveals otherwise. The one on the left has a navy blue face and forelegs, brighter blue mane, and… dark gray metal over one side of their face, as well as their entire body from their shoulders to their back legs. The eye that the plating on the face surrounds is a bright blue, almost matching the other one, but this one has an odd sheen to it. Lastly, their tail doesn’t appear to be an ordinary tail at all, but rather just dozens of thin strands of metal.

The one on the right seems somewhat more normal-looking; their dark purple coat is more visible, with just their legs and chest being replaced with the dark gray metal, along with patches of their throat. Their eyes are a bright red and have the same sheen as the other pony’s left one, while their mane is short and bright white. Their tail is completely missing, but unlike the other pony, their cutie mark - three chains tied around one another - is actually visible, albeit surrounded with scars.

Princess Celestia gapes at them. “...who…?”

Nucleus smirks, walking forward. She taps the two on parts of their neck, causing their eyes to glow briefly before they begin looking around, their necks making quiet buzzing sounds.

“Princess Celestia, meet the new defenders of Equestria.” She pats the purple one’s shoulder. “Chain Link...” She nudges the other. “And Deadbolt.”

For a moment, nopony speaks. Then, Chain Link opens his mouth, and everypony flinches back a bit. They expect some sort of robotic groan, or even an incoherent yell followed by an attack.

Instead…

“...who are you guys and what in Tartarus happened to me?”

Chapter 1: The Arrivals

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I apologize if this is a bad time, but the knowledge that Ponyville has been successfully reconstructed after Tirek’s rampage leaves me with hope that you will have the time for this task.

Almost two years ago, after the Changeling invasion, I assigned some of my trusted guards and scientists to develop a failsafe plan should the Elements of Harmony be unavailable ever again. Just yesterday, their work has finally culminated in an… interesting development.

I will send you more letters over time to inform you of the situation, but my time is short. For now, I will simply give you the basics. I am sending two ponies to Ponyville, and I expect you and your friends to take care of them. It will be difficult, but it is very important you make sure no harm comes to them. And, similarly, you make sure they cause no problems of their own.

They shall be arriving just after noon today. Most of their necessities have been provided or are unneeded; however, one thing they currently lack is a place of residence, for we are not yet sure if they can live on their own. I ask that you or one of your friends house them for the time being.

I apologize for the sudden nature of this request, and you have my gratitude in advance for helping. This is a very important and difficult task, but I believe you are more than capable of handling it.

Yours truly,

Princess Celestia

“An interesting development...” the purple Alicorn repeats, looking up from the letter and into the eyes of her friends. “What could that mean?”

“The letter said they would arrive shortly after noon,” a certain rainbow maned pegasus responds, tapping her chin with a hoof. “Maybe they have some new magic spells, like the ones you made?”

“An’ she wouldn’t just say that?” Applejack asks with a raised eyebrow. “The way she put it, this seems a lot more complex than just a couple a’ new spells.”

The shy yellow pegasus decides to speak up. “Um… m-maybe they’re sick? She did say they needed to be taken care of...”

“Well, I for one see no need to be so apprehensive.” Rarity steps forward from where she was standing. “We’re supposed to welcome them, aren't we? How would they feel if we treated them like monsters from the first moment we saw them?”

“No one ever said anything about being afraid,” Twilight points out, looking around the room. “I suggest we wait and see who they are and actually get to meet them before we start speculating.”

The others all nod in agreement, and for a few seconds, they go quiet… and then Pinkie Pie gasps loudly.

“Wait!” she cries. “There’s gonna be new ponies in Ponyville?!”

“No Pinkie, the letter obviously says that we’re getting two new brick houses,” Rainbow snarks, shaking her head in exasperation before grinning.

“Brick houses?” Pinkie tilts her head. “Can we still throw a party for them? Ooh, this gives a whole new meaning to ‘housewarming party’!” She jumps in the air, giggling.

The group collectively sighs in mock annoyance, used to her antics. “Well, anyways,” the Alicorn continues, “we do need to make them feel welcome in our town.”

“Shoot, that doesn’t sound like too much of a problem,” the farmer says with a chuckle. “I bet they’ll love this place!”

“Um...” Fluttershy speaks up again, raising a hoof towards the clock in the room, eyes wide. “Girls? It’s already noon...”

Eyes widening in surprise, the girls all look up at once. “So it is,” Rarity mutters, almost carelessly.

“We have to hurry!” Twilight exclaims, dashing out the window. Her friends follow suit, though for obvious reasons, most choose the door instead.

It’s almost a quarter after noon when, finally, the six mares see a speck in the sky. Immediately, they can tell it’s the carriage they’ve been waiting for.

“Ooooh!” Pinkie squeals, jumping up and down so fast anypony trying to follow her movements would likely get whiplash. “I’m so excited! I can’t wait to meet them! Where are they? Are they almost here, Twilight? Are they?”

“Almost,” the purple Alicorn mutters as she straightens her feathers, trying to look as presentable as possible.

“Oh please darling, would you stop worrying?” Rarity nudges her friend playfully. “I’m sure everything’s going to go absolutely fine with you here.”

“Yes...” Twilight sighs softly to herself as she watches the carriage approach. “I suppose so.”

“How cool do you think they’ll be?” Rainbow nudges Applejack, who rolls her eyes.

“Considerin’ they’re important enough for the princess herself to ask us for help, I’d say they’re… ‘cool’, at least by yer standards.”

“I just hope we get along.” Twilight chews her lip nervously.

Pinkie bounces up to her and tosses a foreleg around her shoulders. “I’m sure we will! Why would anypony not get along with us? I’m sure we’ll be the bestest of best friends!”

“Thanks for the encouragement, Pinkie, but I think we need to wait and see who they are before we jump right into the parties.” Smiling at her friend, the purple Alicorn chuckles.

“Aww...” The pink earth pony sits down, pouting a bit, only to spring right back up as the carriage starts to land.

The royal pegasus guards pulling the carriage slowly lower themselves to the ground, continuing to run for about ten or so feet as they slow to a comfortable stop for those in the carriage itself. The door opens, and the two ponies step out into the sunlight.

The girls can only stare at the large, metal-covered stallions as they step onto the ground and look back at them, wearing oddly neutral expressions on what remains of their proper face.

“W… Welcome to… P-Pony...” is all Twilight can manage as she stammers out the words in a small, shaky voice.

“This is… horrifying.” Rarity whispers, hiding her face without any concern for etiquette. “Surely a joke.”

The one with a purple coat flicks its - his - ears. He opens his mouth, and to their surprise, out comes a normal, if echoing, pony voice. “...I can hear you, you know.” The other, with his body almost entirely made of metal, looks away without saying anything, if only giving a disgruntled huff.

“Welcome to Ponyville,” Twilight squeaks out, unable to say more.

“If… if you’ll excuse us, we’re rather surprised,” Rarity says sheepishly, looking away.

“It is of no consequence, and I at least bear no ill will,” the larger metallic pony says in a cold, yet gentle voice.

“Yes... right.” The Alicorn lowers her head and shakes slightly.

The first of the metallic ponies takes a step forward, a low clanking sound coming from his legs as they leave and then reconnect with the ground, before offering one of his hooves to the purple princess. “I’m Chain Link. The more dramatic one is Deadbolt.”

“Nice to meet you,” Deadbolt speaks up. He looks around. “This is a charming little town.”

“Th-Thank you...” every one of them stammers out at some point, around the same time

Smiling, the larger metal pony steps forward, offering one of his both normal forehooves. “It’s nice to meet you, Twilight Sparkle. I assume you’ll be helping us get settled in?”

“Well, we all will.” Grinning awkwardly, the purple pony shakes his hoof uncertainly.

Applejack chuckles and nods, still a little hesitant. “Yep… we’re here to help ya make yerselves at home.”

“Home,” Deadbolt repeats, then turns to his companion. “Don’t we have those already?”

“It’s a figure of speech...” Chain says before sighing and turning to the six mares. “What he means is, thank you.”

After a few seconds of silence, Rainbow decides to bluntly ask the question on all six of their minds. “So, what the absolute hell happened to you?”

“...well, I don’t know about him,” Chain says, motioning to the other part-robot. “But I died and was brought back as a cyborg.”

Applejack’s eyebrows shoot up. “Ya… died?”

“That’s what I was told. Apparently I was working in a factory and fell twenty feet onto a sharp metal pole, shattered my legs on impact, and was impaled right through the chest and died instantly.”

“I was crushed in a factory accident.” Deadbolt sighs and shrugs. “And the same thing happened to me after that, basically.”

The orange earth mare takes a couple steps back, face going slightly green. “...o… kay...”

“That’s… horrible.” Twilight shudders visibly. “Then… how are you here now?”

Chain shrugs. “One second I’m falling down and suddenly my legs are in pain, and the next I’m standing in a dark room surrounded by ponies in lab coats and Princess Celestia looking at me like I was a monster, which I guess I sort of am. My best guess is they took out my - our - internal organs, particularly the heart and lungs, and replaced them with mechanical substitutes while also repairing any majorly damaged parts of our bodies with powerful metal to fix us up and keep us sturdy, and either replaced our brains with computer chips or just sparked them back to life.” He pauses. “...that’s just a guess, though.”

“It’s exactly what happened and you know it,” the larger stallion says bluntly. “Just tell them the truth up front.”

“Hey, unlike you, they didn’t tell me much,” he snaps, his eyes briefly flashing. “I started talking and they just let me be. You were quiet, so they gave you a rundown of everything until you told them you got the point. I’m just speculating here.”

“Then perhaps you don’t need to know much.” Sighing again, Deadbolt gives his smaller companion a sidelong glance before bowing his head. “I apologize for our rude introductions. We are still unsure of ourselves.”

“N-Not at all,” the Alicorn replies, terrified at the outburst.

“Yes, of course,” Rarity says in a shaky voice, stepping back.

Catching himself, Chain makes to take a breath, only for nothing to happen. He grumbles incoherently to himself, saying something about ‘missing my lungs’, before he turns to the mares, trying to smile pleasantly. “So… would you mind giving us a tour of the town? We would like to have a look around.”

“Well... at least you’re cool...?” Rainbow says it with a grin, though it seems more like a question now than anything.

“Cool? Perhaps.” Chuckling, creating an odd sound, Deadbolt steps forward finally, into the group. “There were six of you before. Where is the yellow one?”

“Fluttershy,” the purple one clarifies, as if the others wouldn’t know who they were referring to.

“She was here just a minute ago... never mind. You scared her off,” Rainbow says in the same blunt tone the metal stallion used earlier.

Applejack blinks. “...and how d’ya know her name already? We never introduced ourselves...”

Chain opens his mouth to reply, but hesitates. “...well, as if you haven’t heard enough creepy stuff about us, I have scanners in my eyes.”

Naturally, this causes the five mares to, once again, widen their eyes at him at the sudden revelation. Twilight, however, suddenly steps forward. “That’s… um… do you mind if I ask you more?”

“We're not allowed to divulge secrets about the tests,” Deadbolt grunts, but gives her a sympathetic gaze with his one normal eye.

She nods understandingly. “Yes... alright then. Well, should we start your tour?” Turning, the purple pony looks around at her friends, then nods at them to follow. Together, they walk on, with the two cyborgs in tow.

Chapter 2: The Explanations

The obvious place to go first is the Cake’s Sugarcube Corner. The mares and the two cyborg stallions approach the building, the former tiptoeing as if to not attract attention to the eye-popping characters next to them.

A mare covers her foal’s eyes and watches in horror as the metal ponies pass, and others react with screams and running away at top speed. Those that stay would emit a squeak or a whimper, and watch them leave curiously.

As they walk, Chain slowly looks around at all of the ponies, whether or not they flee, the scanners in his eyes basically giving him all the information one would otherwise need to have an introductory conversation to obtain. How this works, he frankly has no idea, but doesn’t care to question.

As they approach the pastry shop, word must have spread as ponies flee at the mere sight of the cybernetic stallions, which quickly turns into confusion as they wonder why the mares are escorting them so formally.

“Aaaaaand here it is!” Pinkie cheers happily when they arrive. Chain’s attention is drawn to the building, and his eyes flash briefly as he begins to scan the establishment. “Sugarcube Corner! The home of sweets, pastries, chocolate, sweet pastries, chocolate pastries, sweet chocolate-”

“I think they get it, Pinkie,” Applejack interrupts with a chuckle.

“Is this a shop for sweets and such?” Deadbolt asks in his hollow voice. “I remember such a place, a while ago.”

“How long ago is ‘a while’?” Twilight asks, cocking her head.

“I… don’t exactly remember. I remember most of my life before the accident, but some of my memory is missing.” The cyborg shrugs.

Chain raises a hoof, finally turning away from Sugarcube Corner. His voice takes on a more robotic and sophisticated tone, almost unconsciously. “Assuming our deaths were around the same time, it would have been about seventy-two days since he was alive. How long he went before then without seeing such a place is unknown.”

“And Mr. Computer takes over once again,” sighs the larger stallion.

“So he’s an egghead too?” the rainbow mare asks, chuckling and giving a pointed look to the Alicorn.

The purple cyborg’s eyes flash again, and he just rolls them before turning. “So are we going inside, or do we just get to stare at it?”

Pinkie giggles. “Well, we’re going inside, duh! Why would we just sit out here and stare at it?” She throws the door open, startling the few customers inside. “I mean, I know it looks cool and all, but that’s just silly! You’re silly.”

“...right. I’m silly.” Chain just slowly nods as the group walks inside. “We’ll go with that.” Giving an uneasy grin, Twilight follows, along with the others.

“So… colorful,” remarks Deadbolt. “Almost too colorful.”

“Do you want to eat anything?” Rarity asks cautiously, walking to the display case of cupcakes, the customers already petrified.

Not waiting for an answer, Pinkie ducks behind the case and comes up with a plate of two cupcakes in her mouth. She drops it loudly onto the counter, the cupcakes somehow staying perfectly in place. “How about some free samples?”

“Um, no we really can’t-” The large cyborg is cut off by the large pastry shoved in his mouth, a similar one being stuffed into his companion’s. He chews slowly and swallows, sighing. “Chain,” he mutters, indicating for him to continue.

After chewing thoughtfully for a few seconds, the smaller cyborg’s eyes flash, and he swallows before speaking. “Red velvet cupcake; fresh, home baked. Contents include but not limited to flour, eggs, sour cream, milk, and sugar. Lacks salt typically seen in such recipes; boasts copious amounts of sugar instead. Icing, chocolate; also homemade, slightly melted from heat, indicating cupcake was not left to cool before iced. Taste sensors indicating significant preference to these decisions.” His eyes flash again and he nods. “Compliments to the chef.”

“Can you actually tell what all that is?” Deadbolt asks. “I lack taste buds. I feel a paste that has the consistency of styrofoam.”

Pinkie Pie blinks before grinning again. “Glad you both like it!” She hops off to put the tray away.

“That’s definitely liking it.” Rainbow sighs, shrugging.

“I’m sorry for Pinkie’s...”

“No need,” Deadbolt interrupts the purple Alicorn, continuing on to a table. “So, what are we here for?”

“Well, this is a tour, isn’t it?” Twilight cocks her head. “I just wanted to show you around.”

“Yes, and the majority of ponies gather here every day. It’s a nice place to meet new friends.” Rarity grins awkwardly, then backs up again as the large cyborg sighs.

“And yet no one is here now; shocking.” His cybernetic eye explores the main room, curious. “This is a large building. What resides upstairs?”

Pinkie pops out from behind them all. “The bedrooms! Those are where me and Mr. Cake and Mrs. Cake sleep! They’re probably up there now with the twins!”

“Twins...” Deadbolt mutters, then shrugs. “I suppose they can’t be bothered with us now. Shall we continue?” He looks first to the purple mare, then to his smaller companion. “Or do you wish to stay here?”

“I’d rather continue the tour,” Chain offers. “Regardless of how good the stuff tastes here, I don’t have money yet, and I technically shouldn’t be trying to digest anything for a couple days.”

“Hmmmm...” Twilight taps her chin for a moment, thinking. “Perhaps we can go pick up Fluttershy at her cottage.”

“Sounds fine to me.” Rarity nods. “Shall we?”

Shrugging, Chain nods and turns to the door. His eyes flash again as he briefly analyzes the outside. “Nopony’s around.”

“Again, such a surprise.” Rolling his eyes, Deadbolt walks out into the street and waits for the mare to follow. “Where is Fluttershy’s home?”

“Just follow me,” Twilight says, walking in front of the two metallic equines. They walk on, with the other mares dragging behind except for Pinkie, who bounces happily.

Twilight raises a hoof and knocks on the cottage door, at which plates are heard crashing from the inside. A pink mane pokes into view in the corner of a window, and a soft scream is heard as the color withdraws and the curtains shut. The other five mares sigh collectively.

“Well, at least we know she’s here.” Rainbow shrugs and knocks this time, harder than her purple friend. “Hey! Open up! You have to say hello!”

Only a squeal is heard from inside. Chain blinks his robotic eyes. “...my sensors indicate either she is particularly afraid of us, or she’s trying to rip a cat in half.”

“...didn’t want that mental image.” Applejack shudders.

“We really aren’t bad ponies, Fluttershy.” Deadbolt chuckles and steps forward, despite the yellow mare’s whimpering. “We’re here to live normal lives.”

Finally, the mare pulls the door open… very, very slowly. It takes almost a whole minute for just her eye to peek out, and at that point she stops, just staring out fearfully.

“Don’t worry Fluttershy, I promise they won’t do anything to hurt you.” The Alicorn steps forward, pushing the door further open and nudging her friend gently.

“...o-okay...” Still clearly frightened, the pegasus mare takes several steps back to let them in. The other mares sigh again, this time in relief.

“Well now that that’s out of the way, how about some tea?” Rarity steps inside the cottage and, for the most part, the others follow. The two cyborgs take a moment before slowly walking in, a little dumbfounded by the sudden switch of mood.

“E-Excuse us...” the larger bows his head the Fluttershy, “Um, analysis, Chain? Best course of action?”

Chain looks at him before shrugging. “...go along with it?”

Deadbolt nods and sits in the main room, looking around in slight confusion at all the animals. He turns to Twilight and cocks his head. “These animal are all hers?”

Fluttershy, normally one to brighten up at the mention of the critters around her home, can only nod meekly. Chain, on the other hoof, sits down beside Deadbolt as he gives the room a quick scan. “Negative. Most belong to her, but a fair amount are being taken care of. Some belong to other ponies and some are wild.”

Twilight’s eyes widen and she hurries over to the mechanical pegasus. “You can tell that just by looking around? You’re so smart!”

He blinks at her. “As I said before, I have scanners in my eyes that can find any necessary information from any living creature and store it in a database within whatever my brain consists of in this new body. This includes name, species, location of birth, close companions, family or owners, and for ponies, special talents. I do not think they installed such a function in my companion, however.”

“According to what I was told, I did not receive any such function. There is, however, something I was built for and a reason behind why I only have one eye like this.” The larger pony indicates his glowing blue eye. “Though I’ve only used it once or twice, so I’m not as specific or precise as Chain can be.”

Twilight nods seriously while the other mares stare on in confusion. Applejack, for her part, growls to herself a bit. “Can either of ya just talk normal? I feel like I’m back at the gala with how sophisti-whatever you’re being!”

“Sophisticated,” Chain corrects. “Adjective; aware of and able to interpret complex issues; subtle. Alternate definition: having, revealing, or proceeding-”

“I know what it means!” the farmer snaps. “Just stop being it!”

The cyborg pegasus goes quiet for a moment before replying, his eyes flashing briefly as he exits his analytical stage. “Suit yourself.”

“Yes, well, you could all use some work on being more sophisticated.” Rarity huffs, giving sharp glances to all of the others. “We have guests, after all.”

“Right.” The Princess looks around. “Is there anything you two drink in particular?” she asks the pair of newcomers.

“I drink only when necessary, and not normal drinks.” The cybernetic earth pony shrugs.

Chain shakes his head. “I don’t need to drink at all, though I can. It’s more for analytical purposes. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” The Rainbow pegasus waves a hoof nonchalantly. “But if that’s the case, what do you drink?”

Deadbolt looks to his companion. “I occasionally drink a fluid that enhances power and movement, but I don’t exactly know what it is.”

“Well, if it was just one or the other, I’d say it’s alcohol or coffee,” Chain snarks. “If it’s both, though, I don’t know. I’d have to analyze it first… as for me, I don’t need it, so there’s that.”

“We’re not allowed to drink those substances, Chain,” sighs the larger cyborg.

“Maybe you aren’t.”

“Yes, well… since we’re sitting down now, let’s talk about you two.” Twilight steps between the two, gesturing to the table, now set with the mares’ drinks. “Just who exactly are you?”

Deadbolt settles next to his companion, tapping the floor. “Well, depends on what you want to know. We- or at least I- can only say so much for now.”

“I wanna know everything!” The purple Alicorn’s eyes sparkle, and she rocks back and forth on her hooves, much to the chagrin of her friends. Rainbow groans audibly.

Chain raises a hoof. “Everything. Definition: all things; all the things of a group or-” He cuts himself off when Applejack glares at him. “...I mean, uh… be more specific with your questions, please.”

“Perhaps let’s start with who you are; what did you do before…?” Twilight starts, then looks down, not sure how to end the question.

Deadbolt chuckles. “No need to be so worried; I don’t mind. I was a factory worker in Hoofington. My mother and sister worked a small grocery store - they still do, but I haven’t been back to see them since just after the operation finished. I lived an extremely normal life, almost disappointingly so.” He thinks for a moment. “One day a piece of equipment had weak support, and it collapsed. I happened to be right under it. The result is my magnificent form you see before you.” He strikes a gallant pose, wearing a cheeky yet joking grin.

Chain rolls his eyes. “Narcissism readings increasing significantly.” After that remark, he turns to the mares. “I already told you what happened to me. My story before then is basically like his, but substitute Hoofington with Manehatten, add a couple more siblings, and keep in mind I haven’t been home to see them since I was brought back. Other than that, it’s pretty identical, unless you’re wanting to go a lot further back.”

“Well then?” Rainbow presses, leaning forward, the others watching in anticipation.

The cyber pegasus sighs, his eyes flashing. “Scanning memory banks...” A few more seconds go by before he continues. “Born in Fillydelphia, youngest of five. Moved to Manehatten at age twelve. Graduated school young. Difficulty choosing career. Took job at factory. Untimely demise. End.”

“Very… punctual,” the seamstress mutters, sipping her tea.

“Is there anything more we could know about you, Deadbolt?” Twilight turns to the large stallion, who thinks.

“Nothing important. Nothing from before, anyways.” He shrugs.

“Then… you mentioned what your eyes can do, Chain. What were you built for exactly?” Twilight, now keenly interested, circles the metallic pegasus.

He tilts his head before responding. “I was constructed for analytics and intelligence, with some combat ability should the situation call for it. All of my abilities reflect that in some way.”

“So then how far do those analytics go? Where does it all go?” The other mares and Deadbolt chuckle as Twilight examines Chain like a science project.

“I’m not sure what you mean by ‘how far’, but as for where… the information is stored within whatever they gave me as a brain.” He narrows his eyes. “I’m not letting you dissect me to figure out what.”

“Of course not!” She backs away humbly. “I’m just curious, is all.” Now the Alicorn turns to the larger of the pair. “What about you?”

“I’m a combat-only construct. My eye is used to analyze the battle and find out who my enemies are and send the message to my fighting… companion. My torso was remade to be ‘extra large’ so that I could contain a combat assistant who receives information from my eye and uses it to find out who to attack.” He pats his chest as if to emphasize the point.

All movement freezes as the mares stare at him.

“There’s something… inside you?” Rarity places her cup back on the table, struggling to stay composed.

“Is it cool?” Rainbow asks instantly, without any cares. Applejack just groans at the expected reaction, while Fluttershy only shrinks further back.

Pinkie, apparently missing the point entirely, leans down and taps his torso. “You’re pregnant?”

Startled by the question, the cyborg makes a sound that is a mix between gagging and coughing. “N-No! Do I look like I can give birth?”

“You look like a lot of things,” Applejack remarks with a chuckle.

Grumbling to himself about pregnancy, Deadbolt frowns in consternation. “Anyways, that’s all for me.”

Chain tilts his head at him. “You’re not going to tell them what it is?”

“I’m not allowed to show or talk about TIMBER other than its name unless in a situation of duress.” The larger cyborg shrugs.

“TIMBER?” Applejack raises an eyebrow. “Like the Timberwolves?”

“Just the same. That should tell you about its function.” Deadbolt nods.

“Then does that mean you were sent here to protect us?” Twilight asks with a slight tremor in her voice.

“From what?” The white unicorn now drops her tea in surprise.

“I am only intended to protect you if necessary. Not from anything in particular… yet.”

Chain fakes a coughing sound. “Same here, if you’ve forgotten about me.”

“So then why specifically Ponyville?” Rainbow Dash asks. “There are tons of other places you could go.”

“This place keeps us close to you girls,” Chain explains. “We are supposed to remain near the Elements of Harmony’s bearers. So if they should ever fail, we aren’t in another city completely unaware of the situation.”

“If we fail?” The Alicorn exclaims.

“And just what does that mean?” Rainbow shoves her face into Chain’s aggressively. “If we fail? We won’t fail!”

“It has almost happened before,” the cybernetic earth pony remarks. “Actually, it did.”

“Remember the Canterlot Wedding incident?” Chain adds, not reacting to the sudden invasion of personal space. “You know, when the Elements were kept sealed away and you were kept from getting to them? You kind of failed. Princess Cadance and Shining Armor saved the day then.” He taps the side of his head, recalling things. “There’s also the fact that, technically, you don’t even have the Elements themselves anymore, so the chance of you failing is a fair bit higher, even if still low. The two of us are essentially just backup suppORT.” His voice gets suddenly louder on the last syllable as a hoof taps the other side of his head a fair bit harder.

Pinkie giggles and does it again. “Hehe! This makes your voice go all funny!” She leans in front of him. “Say something!”

His eyes lock onto hers, and his voice comes out far more monotone and robotic than before. “...01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110100 01110010 01111001 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100100 01101111 00100000 01110100 01101111 00100000 01101101 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110011 01110100 01110101 01110000 01101001 01100100 00100000 01100011 01101111 01110100 01110100 01101111 01101110 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101110 01100100 01111001 00100000 01101000 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101.”

She blinks, actually dumbfounded. “...huh?”

“Oops, you broke him. Here, give me a second.” Deadbolt smacks the back of his friend’s head with a hoof, grinning. Like hell he’s broken… still fun to do this.

This garners a more comprehensible, but no less disturbing, message. “HOSTILE REACTION DETECTED. MANUAL SYSTEMS INCAPACITATED. AUTOMATIC RESPONSE SYSTEMS ACTIVATED.” He sits down, and a compartment on his chest opens up, a metal tube coming out. “DELTA LAUNCHER EXTENDED. LOCKING SYSTEMS INITIATED. YOU HAVE TEN SECONDS TO SURRENDER.”

“Dammit man, just stop!” The large cyborg smacks him yet again.

“TEN.” Chain turns to his companion, the tube turning to aim at him as well. “NINE.”

All six of the gathered mares back away quickly, shuddering and watching in fear. Except for Pinkie, who giggles and sits with a huge grin on her face.

Deadbolt sighs and grabs the smaller pegasus, dragging him outside. “Excuse us.” He slams the door unceremoniously.

“Th… that was...” Twilight begins, but gulps noisily, unable to continue.

“... so these guys are supposed to be our backup, right?” The rainbow-maned pegasus asks, looking around. “Some backup.”

“Yes, well… at least they are not total brutes,” Rarity chimes in.

Applejack rolls her eyes. “To be fair...” She motions to Pinkie.

The pink earth pony tilts her head. “What’d I do?” The farmer responds by walking up and tapping her hoof against Pinkie’s head. “Ohhhhhh. ...oops?”

“Oops indeed, Pinkie.” The Element of Magic sighs and looks at the door. “I wonder what they’re doing...”