Anarchy in the Equestrian Nation

Union Jack slowly and methodically approached his locker after fourth block. The numbers stenciled onto the locker read 102306. His locker number was also his student ID, along with countless other things, and it just made him resent 'The System' a little more.

How convenient. he snarked in his mind. Your student ID, your locker number, your library checkout number, your computer password, all rolled into one. His train of thought was interrupted by a silky voice from behind and to the right.

"Hey. How's day zero going for you?"

Union Jack craned his neck around to see Vagabond, the leader of the Outcasts. She had been the one to show him the classrooms and to better acquaint him with the other Outcasts. She had been the one to take Union Jack under her wing, so to speak (She had no wings to speak of, being a unicorn), the first friend of his new life in Ponyville. His first real friend in a long time.

"Um, Equestria to Union Jack? Do you read?"

He was snapped out of it by Vagabond's voice. Her beautiful, beautiful voice. Wait, what? Did I just think that? he asked himself.

"Yeah, I was just kinda spacing out there. So what's for lunch today?" he said, curious. He couldn't stop staring into her dark green eyes. SNAP OUT OF IT! he screamed in his head. Stop fawning over that damn mare and just get on with your day! But he couldn't. He simply couldn't. Every time he tried to look away, his eyes would lock on some elegant feature of hers and fixate on it, almost immobile. He couldn't bring himself to think of the mare as just a friend though. He knew she was out of his league, but he figured he'd try anyway.

"Pasta with butter and garlic. Kinda bland really." Vagabond said. Union Jack realized it had only been about a second that his mind had taken to be able to process all his thoughts about her. He stashed his saddlebags in his locker, shut it, and turned to face her. "Why do you ask?" she continued, "I saw you bring your own lunch."

"Yeah, I was just wondering if I could buy you lunch or something." His heart skipped a few beats as he waited for a response.

"That's fine. I hadn't been planning on eating, so this is a nice surprise." she said. Union Jack mentally breathed a sigh of relief. She hadn't picked up on his offer for a date. That was actually a good thing, considering she'd be likely to laugh him out of Ponyville.

"Wait... Was that an offer for a date?" Vagabond asked.

Shit. The jig is up. You're finished. Done for. The late Union Jack. he remarked grimly in the expanses of his own mind. His mind snapped back to reality like a rubber band being pulled too far. "Yeah. Why?" he asked, as calmly as he could.

"Because I accept." she replied.

It had felt like a dozen fireworks had just exploded inside his skull. Except the fireworks were made of pure love. And they were more like dynamite.

--Five minutes later--

The Outcasts, all eleven of them, as Union Jack had been named their newest member, sat at the oversized picnic table, munching on their lunches. The otaku pony (Manga, as Union Jack had learned his name to be) asked Vagabond "So he just asked you out, just like that?"

"Well, not really," she replied. "It was more of an allusion to an offer to date."

Manga gawked, stupefied. "And you accepted his offer? You've only known him a few hours! You never accepted my invitations to date, and you've known me since we were in elementary school!" He started sobbing.

Union Jack lifted his mask and scowled. "You never told me that anyone had asked you out before. Manga asked first, so I'm putting the whole dating thing on hiatus until you at least try going out with him. Put your priorities in order, Vagabond."

She was heartbroken for two reasons: The stallion who was so infatuated with her mere seconds ago had pushed her away, and she was watching her best friend since elementary school's body being wracked with sobs of pain and sadness. The Goth pegasus two seats down from Union Jack said "You did the right thing. Manga's been hopelessly in love with Vagabond for years. Thanks for giving him a chance. Meanwhile, would you like to date me instead?"

"Didn't I just say the dating thing was on hia-" he was cut short by the Goth pegasus locking lips with him. "What the hell!? What was that for?" he indignantly shouted.

"Sorry, it's just... I kinda like you. As in, like like you." she timidly said.

"Well that was obvious. Why you like me is the question. How could anypony like this? I'm scrawny, I look stupid with my mane spiked all over and my gasmask, and to top it all off, my Cutie Mark is A MAREOTOV COCKTAIL. If that's not a red flag for 'do not date this stallion', I don't know what is." he ranted.

"Quit being so down on yourself. You're just one of us, and I wouldn't have it any other way." She kissed him again, and after they had broken apart, he blushed redder than the red on his mask.

A chorus of "Aww"s and one "They make such a cute couple" echoed from the table.

"Shaddup, all of you! I'm trying to have a romantic moment here."