True Meaning of 'Heart's' Warming

by Golden Paw

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random, Discord, Screwball, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1067

Discord's quiet evening is interrupted by an unexpected question from Screwball.

Discord can hardly believe he's never told Screwball about Hearth's Warming and so when she asks him about the holiday out of the blue he struggles to answer her.

(Big thanks to silent_stars for their editing!)

Published 2015-01-09 16:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-09 16:10:02 UTC

True Meaning of Hearth's Warming

“Daddy, what’s ‘Heart’s Warming’ all about?”

Discord put down the latest review of “Brain Twisters” and looked up as a purple foal stared at him from over his desk. “Pardon, my little Apocalypse?”

“Heart’s Warming Daddy, what’s it all about?” Screwball asked again, her little swirling eyes staring past Discord in a curious manner.

“It’s ‘Hearth’s Warming’, surely I’ve told you that story my dear? How Equestria was founded and how the three pony clans overcame their differences,” Discord pushed his tropical glasses down his nose so he could see Screwball all the better.

The little foal peered at Discord from under a tangled mass of lavender and white curls, half hidden by the propeller hat that spun lazily on top. She looked disappointed. “Awww I was hoping it would have something to do with ovens and organs.”

Discord smiled indulgently, “No my dear, it’s a far more soppy tale of love, friendship and overcoming differences. Surely you’ve heard the carols ponies sing at this time of year?”

Screwball pouted, “I’ve heard the ones you sing Daddy, they don’t sound much like that to me.” She took a deep breath before bursting into song, sounding remarkably like Discord himself, “Deck the walls with cows and collies, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha!”

He smiled before joining in, “Tis the season to, unfurl your brolly! ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha-ha ha-ha!”

Their voices united, “Fling the custard and the cherries! ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!”

The desk was whisked away and big wheels of cheese began to fall from on high while flashing lights blinked on and off all around, “Cue the Derpy in a barrel! ha-ha-ha-ha-ha, ha ha, ha-ha!” A very bemused looking grey pegasus rolled past, waving and smiling at Screwball who returned the compliment.

The lights faded and soon the office had returned to its normal state with Discord and Screwball posed with arms outstretched either side of a lonely looking snowball. Screwball moved first, grinning at the little ball of ice, “Yeah that one Daddy. That doesn’t sound like what you described at all.”

Discord rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Well I may have changed the words a tiny bit, but I’m sure the true meaning is still in there somewhere.”

“We could ask Princess Twilight, she’s well clued up on history and stuff?” Screwball replied with a grin.

Discord folded his arms and gave Screwball a reproachful look, “Oh no Screwball, we are not going to turn this into one of those Christmas stories where I learn the true meaning of giving and sharing. That we’re all important no matter what our race, colour or birthplace and so forth. Is that understood?”

Screwball wilted, “Yes Daddy.” She looked confused for a moment, “Christmas Daddy?”

Discord put a theatrical claw to his forehead, “Oh sorry slipped into reality there. Christmas is where odd things called humans (imagine hairless monkeys that wear clothes) go around celebrating the birth of the ‘Son of God’ who was called ‘Jesus.’ He came to save the world from sin and went around spreading peace on earth and goodwill to men.”

Screwball gave Discord a sceptical glance, “That’s really true?”

Discord shrugged, “Most likely, but anyway we were talking about Hearth’s Warming.”

Screwball nodded, “So what you’re basically saying is that Hearth’s Warming is a celebration of tolerance, love and harmony?”

Discord frowned, “Now that you put it like that I remember why I’m not very fond of the holiday. What’s brought on this sudden interest?”

Screwball gave Discord a knowing smile, “I know it sounds less fun than cows and collies. But you have to face your fears Daddy.”

A resounding knock sounded throughout the room, resembling the tread of an angry giant and Discord knew he’d been tricked.

“You took down the ‘NO CAROLERS’ sign didn’t you,” Discord whispered, somehow managing to hide his substantial coiled form behind the much smaller Screwball. “I’m too young to have love and tolerance in my life right now.”

Screwball gave Discord a gentle pat on the head, “There, there Daddy. I did try to break it gently but you’ve forced my hoof. Remember just take tiny steps and it will be okay.”

Discord simply trembled, the hurt of betrayal written across his face, “You planned this right from the start didn’t you!”

Screwball beamed happily, “Well it’s good for you, I did the same last year and you had fun in the end.” The door shook to the sound of further knocking and Discord made a dive for freedom only for a little hoof to grab his shoulder in an iron grip.

“No you can’t make me!” Discord wailed but it did no good. Screwball, his little Screwball, was dragging Discord towards the door.

“You do this every year Daddy,” She commented sweetly as Discord thrashed, changing his shape and colour faster than an eye could blink in his efforts to escape.

“Please no! I’ll let you blow up the kitchen, I’ll let you burn the singing potatoes just don’t make me face that!” Discord’s pleas fell on deaf ears as Screwball reached for the handle.

Time seemed to bend and warp, small galaxies were created and obliterated in moments, but nothing would stop that purple hoof turning the handle and opening the door.

Discord shrank back in horror as the sweet sounds of singing drifted into the room, carrying the spirit love in Equestria through the melodic song. All the colour drained from Discord and he could only slump to the floor as the cheery and somehow mischievous smiles of Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Rarity greeted him. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were there too and they at least looked genuine in their wishing of good cheer to the frozen Discord.

Screwball sung along with them, hugging Discord tightly around his middle and beaming with joy. After what seemed an eternity the song finally finished and Discord gave a sigh of relief. He was disappointed however as with the same bouncing cheer Screwball invited the singers in for some hot chocolate.

As the hugs and general well wishing floated all about Discord he mumbled softly, “Next year, I promise you next year will be different.”

It wasn’t long before the second carol was begun and Discord even found himself humming along to it. The feelings of love and friendship filled up his house and despite Discords best efforts he smiled, slowly.

The End.