Twice Shy

by Professor Piggy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 9109

An incident involving the CMC prompts Fluttershy to tell them the story of how she met Pinkie.

It's a big day for Fluttershy; a day of memories, dreams, pain and peace. But when Cutie Mark Crusaders bring her moment of calm to a sudden and terrifying end, she realises that the the three little fillies' adventures are getting a little out of control. To help them, to keep them safe, Fluttershy decides she needs to tell the story of how she met her strangest, pinkest friend - and confront some old nightmares in the process.

Published 2012-05-05 22:24:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-05 22:24:01 UTC

1. Broken

Time stood still.

In the trees high above her, she could hear the birds singing, calling to each other - each telling their own stories, adding their own unique perspective to the whole. A cacophony of sound and music that echoed through the air, reverberating with joy, hope, small pains and beautiful dreams. She let it wash over her, embracing the calm as if it were an old friend - drinking in every word, every story and every moment of the harmony unfolding above her. The smallest hint of a smile found her lips, and she allowed a soft sigh to escape from her. These were her stories, being shared with her by some of her closest and most wonderful friends. Very few things made her as happy, or as calm, as these moments.

Something tugged gently at her tail, and a moment later she could feel the slightest pressure of tiny paws as they danced across her back, and then up her mane, coming to rest ever so quietly right between her ears. Her smile grew wider, and for a moment the two sat together in silence. It was a ritual they had performed many times over the years, and one she held very dear indeed. That she could share such quiet moments with the bunny that was the most disruptive and loud of her friends never failed to amaze her.

A flash of pink came unbidden in her mind, and she had to repress a giggle, so as not to shatter the perfect stillness that held her - kept her safe. Perhaps, she amended, he was her second loudest and most disruptive friend.

She always loved these moments, this place - but today she was especially glad of it. There was no doubt at all that she would need this calm to face the day ahead of her. Today was a special day, and she knew that by the time it ended she would be drained, emotionally and physically. The thought of it made her smile - she knew she must be positively beaming now - and it also made her realise how special this moment really was.

Soon there would be nothing left of the peace she felt at this moment. No trace of the calm in her heart and the sheer wonder she felt at the the world, the beauty all around her. Soon she would be empty - empty and sad and wondrously, unbelievably happy. This moment would be gone, and there would never be another quite like it.

That only meant it should be treasured more.

“Angel?” she whispered, voice like the wind in the leaves around them. “Do you remember that day?”

A single tap, ever so gentle, on the top of her head, told her that he did. And then she received another gift - one she very rarely received from the little bunny, but one that meant more to her than just about anything in the world. He slid from her head, landing softly on her back, and wrapped his front legs tight around her neck, burying his face in her fur. She flicked her head, very gently, and covered her little Angel with the warm blanket of her mane.

It was not a gift she received often - Angel had hugged her less than a dozen times in the years they had spent together - but she never forgot those moments when they happened. Not that she ever doubted Angel loved her, of course - but the bunny choosing to show it was ... nice.

She had been wrong. Something of this moment would stay with her - not just today, but forever.

This was her world. And in it, time had no meaning. There was no rushing to please anypony, no being interrupted or ignored or shouted at. No one to tell her that she wasn’t okay, just the way she was. Nothing meant more to her than her friends, but this - these moments, and this world - this was what she lived for.

As she lay in the grass, listening to the sounds of life all around her and the gentle flow of the stream, Fluttershy was at peace.

Sadly, it was not to last - a sudden sound pierced through her world, shattering the still and sending her feathered friends flying in a hundred different directions. Fluttershy was on her hooves in a flash, face a mixture of horror and determination. Angel stood at her side, ready to follow her wherever she went. There were very few loud, sudden things that could send Fluttershy tearing through the woods towards them as fast as she could move.

The sound of a filly screaming as loud as she could, sheer terror echoing from it, was one of them.

She stormed through the trees faster than she would ever have believed herself capable of, spurred onwards by the sudden chill that had raced down her spine and settled in the pit of her stomach. All around her the forest broke apart, birds fleeing their nests at her passing and exploding into a panicked stream of colour. It was her world, but just this once she had no choice but to shatter it – her friends would understand, when she explained it to them.

As she drew closer to the source the screams grew louder, more desperate and frightened. She narrowed her eyes, and pushed herself harder. Living on the edge of the Everfree forest for so many years had, over time, taught her more about it than she had ever really wanted to know – and taught her to avoid it, whenever she could. It was all too common for the stories injured animals told her about the deeper places, where the land was wild, to end in bloodshed caused by some creature she never, ever wanted to meet.

Such dangers were rare so close to the outskirts, however – a fact she reminded herself of now, repeating it over and over in her head as she struggled against the fear rising inside her. Being afraid was good, usually – it meant caution, which meant safety. Warm cozy fires and another day to share with the ones she loved.

Usually she would have bolted as quickly as possible in the opposite direction, slammed her door and hidden until she was positive that whatever was out there wouldn’t bother her. But she couldn’t afford to be afraid now – somepony was in trouble, and she had to do everything she could to save them.

She was close now. Close enough to hear the other two voices - mingling with the first and nearly being drowned out - shouting urgent, fear-tinged words at the top of their lungs. She knew those voices - knew them well. Scootaloo. Apple Bloom. The screaming could only be Sweetie Belle, then. She felt Angel’s paws clutch her ears more tightly and knew that he recognised them too.

And then she saw them - three little fillies she had known their whole lives. Clinging to a low tree branch, reaching out a pleading hoof towards her orange companion, was Applebloom, her face a mask of terror. Scootaloo seemed to have no intention of taking her friend’s offered aid, and was instead dashing away at top speed, a rock clutched in her jaws. A moment later she sent it sailing through the air, where it hung a moment before slamming into a very large and very angry bear - causing the animal to whirl on her with a roar and dragging it away from the shaking, screaming Sweetie Belle who lay huddled before it.

“Applebloom! Grab Sweetie and go!”

Fluttershy barely registered the words Scootaloo had shouted as the brave little filly rushed forward, determined to rescue her petrified friend. All she saw was that the bear was now barreling forward, headed straight for the defenceless orange pegasus.

Suddenly, instinctively, Fluttershy found herself planted between the bear and its quarry.
With the hulking, snarling creature mere feet away, she narrowed her eyes and spoke in a whisper that somehow broke through the chaos around her, fury echoing from her words..

“That’s enough!”

She didn’t flinch, didn’t move, as the bear closed the distance between them. Her eyes, still narrowed, remained fixed on him as he surged forward until she could feel his warm breath on her face. When he showed no signs of slowing, she took one step forward and slammed a yellow hoof into the ground, face twisting into an expression of anger and disappointment.

A moment before he slammed into her, he met her eyes, and she saw the anger in them begin to melt away - and in its place came confusion and doubt. A moment before he slammed into her, he changed direction. She felt him brush against her side as he passed and allowed her heart to flutter just once. She closed her eyes, ever so briefly, before forcing them open and turning them towards where the bear now stood. He had slid to a stop a few feet away from her and was regarding her uncertainly.

Behind her she heard Scootaloo and Applebloom muttering in soft tones to their now silent friend, whispering words of comfort and promises that everything would be okay - but with an air of unmistakable tension. She could feel their eyes fixed on her, boring into her, and with the immediate danger passed the desire to run and hide from them flared inside her. A long breath escaped her as she forced it down, never taking her eyes from those of the enormous mass of pure, terrifying muscle that could tear her apart in a second and eat her and she’d never see her friends again she wasn’t going to be able to - no. Not yet.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Her tone was unchanged, barely a whisper against the storm that the conflict had evoked in the forest around her. Somehow the effect was more audible, more powerful, than if she had screamed it.

The bear took a step toward her, letting out a low growl. But it was hesitant, uncertain - he wasn’t used to being challenged, and he knew her. She could tell by the way he shifted, the slightest bit uncomfortable, as he sniffed at the air. And she knew him too. But she wasn’t afraid of him - not anymore. He was, however, suddenly terribly frightened of her. She wasn’t proud of that, but kindness wasn’t all honeyed words and healing.

Her wings, so often weak but in this moment, when she needed them most, as powerful as those of any of her feathered friends - bird or pony - lifted her into the air with an audible snap, and then she was hovering above the belligerent bear, face very close to his.

“What makes you think you have the right to attack ponies, huh? To attack children? How would you like it if they came into your cave and started picking on those new little babies your wife has back there?”

The bear took a step back, suddenly seeming eager to look at anything but the pegasus. She would have none of it - what she had to say had to get through. “How would you feel if you came home to find little Kodi or Ursula had been attacked by somepony, to find out they’d been hurt - and by something they were no threat to at all, couldn’t even defend themselves against?”

He met her eyes and let out a low whine, sounding awfully ashamed, before raising a paw to show her a scrap of … something ... attached to it. Something that looked more than a little bit like a - no, surely that couldn’t be possible. The crusaders wouldn’t do something so cruel, not to mention foalish. They could have been killed! But there was really no denying it - nothing else that it could possibly be.

Attached to the bear’s paw, netted between his frighteningly sharp claws, was what little remained of a net.

“Are you sure it was them?”

He stared her dead in the eyes and nodded his massive head, expression still a mixture of shame and guilt but with a hint of lingering anger below the surface.

“I see. Well, I’m terribly sorry about that, and I’ll be sure to talk to them about it - I promise. But that’s not an excuse! They’re fillies! If I hadn’t come along when I did, they’d be dead because of you! Do you want that? Do you want to look at your reflection in the lake every morning and know you murdered three children because they did something that inconvenienced you?”

The huge predator shrank away from his petite pegasus attacker, letting out a pitiful, shamed whine and burying his face in the dirt.

Fluttershy landed, glaring down at him, and continued her assault - her voice was softer this time, and compassionate, but it still lacked much of the kindness or love it usually carried. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself. I want you to go home and think about what you did. About the example you want to set for those cubs of yours - and how you want your wife to look at you from now on.”

She pressed her face against his, expression blank. “And if I ever - and I mean ever - catch you doing something like this again, you’ll answer to me. Understand?”

A slight nod, almost imperceptible. “Good. Now go!” She spun on her hooves and started away from him, listening carefully to ensure he did as he was told. The sound of heavy paws hammering against the ground, faster than the bear had even been charging and with a heavy, echoing thud accompanying each, told her he had. This was confirmed a moment later when a tiny paw reached down and softly, so very softly, patted her on the head.

Two tokens of affection from Angel in a single day. The last time that had happened, she’d just been released from the hospital, and the beautifully beaming bunny had showered her with adoration from the moment she walked through the door to the moment she’d gone to sleep with him cuddled up between her forehooves.

Of course, she’d woken the next morning to an empty bowl flung at her head and an impatient Angel glaring at her from across the room, tiny whiskers twitching in a way that she could only describe as positively adorable. Saying so had earned her a carefully prepared bunny breakfast all through her mane, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

Still, so much affection from her favourite animal friend meant only one of two things - either she had done something to make him very proud indeed, something he hadn’t believed she was capable of, or ...

Or her day had turned so awful that even Angel felt he had to offer her comfort.

Fluttershy looked down at the Crusaders, cowering away from her - trying to physically force themselves into the tree they were huddled against - and shaking as if they were in shock, as they stared up at her with huge, frightened eyes.

And in her heart she knew that today, the day she had been looking forward to for so long, that her Angel had been trying to calm her - something she desperately needed now, with the peace and happiness she had spent all morning finding thoroughly drained out of her. She knew she should be calm, before she even tried to handle the traumatised trio. But she also knew that it wasn’t an option - they needed her now, and she needed to get away from all this … everything, sooner rather than later.

A long breath poured from the pegasus, an attempt to somehow force all of the stress balling up inside of her out. It didn’t help, but she had known it wouldn’t. “Angel,” she whispered gently. “Could you please be a dear and run back to the cottage for me? I need you to get my medical supplies ready and put some tea on. If you don’t mind, I mean.”

She felt the little bunny tense slightly atop her head, and wondered for a moment if he would refuse, before he leapt to the ground in front of her, and stared at her, head tilted just slightly - and adorably - to the right and eyes slightly narrowed. After a few moments he jabbed a finger at her and stood, completely unmoving, and glaring at her. She blinked at him for a few moments before realising what it was her friend was trying to say.

“Oh!” She gasped, before smiling down at him - a small, uncertain thing, but as genuine as any she had ever given. “I’ll be fine, Angel. You don’t need to worry - we’ll be right behind y -”

Fluttershy found herself falling to the ground with a high pitched shriek as something struck her in the side and clamped around her neck, clutching tightly and not letting go. She clamped her eyes shut tight and began whimpering, sure that her small assailant would strangle the life right out of her. It squirmed and struggled ,and she felt her heart hammering in her chest as her attacker began to taunt her in a loud, squeaky voice. Wait. That didn’t seem right.

“Fluttershy!” Sweetie Belle spoke again, voice muffled as she buried her face in her savior’s neck. “Thank you so much! You saved me!”

Eyes still closed, Fluttershy sat silently and tried to force her body to stop shaking. She bit her lip to force back tears, but a few escaped her anyway. She tried to steady her breathing but found she didn’t quite seem capable of it. She remembered how she had been caught completely by surprise - just a flicker in the corner of her eye and then the blinding, unending pain searing as she was jerked helplessly through the air. She remembered the panicked screams of her closest friends, the endless, rambling words and the calm, shrill fury - and then she was back, staring into the frightened eyes of Angel as he clutched her ears tightly.

“Uh … Fluttershy?” Scootaloo, her voice trembling almost imperceptibly through a veil of forced calm. “You okay? You kinda freaked out, there.”

Fluttershy jerked her head towards the filly, just a little too quickly, and spoke, just a little too quickly. “Oh yes, I’m perfectly fine. I was just startled, that’s all. I’m more worried about you girls.” It was the truth, she assured herself, even if she also wanted desperately to change the subject. “Are you okay? None of you are hurt, are you?” As she spoke, she swept her eyes over the Crusaders - at least, the Crusaders who weren’t currently attached to her - and nuzzled her cheek against the bunny before her.

The fillies were coated from head to hooves in dirt - caked into their manes and fur - and sweat. A small line of blood on Applebloom’s forehead told Fluttershy that the filly had cut herself, or been cut, and at some point she’d lost her bow, leaving her mane a tangled mess. By the way she flashed a happy grin and bobbed her head, however, she wasn’t badly hurt.

Scootaloo had fared much worse. She was leaning heavily on her right legs and not allowing any weight on her front left. The little filly was doing her best to pretend nothing was wrong with her and offered a nod and a wince Fluttershy could only assume was intended to be a smile. With a gentle sigh Fluttershy rose slowly to her hooves and gently detached herself from Sweetie Belle - who, to her great relief, seemed completely unharmed, though she was shaking like a leaf and looked as though she wanted to burst into tears.

Fluttershy could sympathize - there was very little that she wanted to do more, herself. But she knew she had to be strong, now. There could be weakness later. Would be weakness later. She ran a forehoof through Sweetie Belle’s multi-coloured mane absently as she spoke, locking her blue eyes - which she hoped were filled with calm and peace, though it seemed more likely they were still wet with tears - onto Scootaloo’s purple ones. They reminded her of another pair of eyes, panicked and glistening, from a time long ago. Her heart skipped a beat.

“Scootaloo, are you sure you’re -” Fluttershy, please. You’ve gotta say something, okay? Please. For me. Just tell me you’re “alright? That shoulder looks like it’s very painful. Would you like me to -” don’t worry, I’ve got you, we can do this, I can “- carry you?” She was amazed by how steady her voice was. And it had the effect she intended - the little pegasus’ act dissolved and she turned her eyes towards the ground, nodding ever so slightly.

“Okay then. Let’s get you girls back to the cottage, and ill do what I can to make it better.” Then, acting entirely on impulse, she pulled the three fillies into a gentle embrace, being sure to avoid further injury to Scootaloo’s shoulder, and whispered softly to them.

“It’s all okay now. Nothing’s going to hurt you, I promise.” It’ll have to go through me first.

Not one of the Crusaders spoke. But Fluttershy couldn’t help but notice that Sweetie Belle was no longer shaking.

An awkward, unnatural silence hung over Fluttershy’s cottage.

It was never truly a loud place. She supposed that by the standards of most ponies it was in fact a very quiet place. Most ponies probably wouldn’t even notice the difference, unless it was pointed out to them or they happened to be listening very carefully. But she noticed it - she could hear it in the way no scurrying feet rushed to greet her as she pushed the door open. In the way the air hung, oppressive and devoid of birdsong. In the way the two little fillies opposite her wouldn’t meet her eye and hadn’t spoken a word since ensuring their injured friend would be alright.

This was not the first time that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had set foot in Fluttershy’s cottage. Ever since they’d seen her stare down a cockatrice, the trio had taken to inviting themselves over at least once a fortnight for some reason or another - sometimes they needed a place to stay, sometimes they urgently needed medical supplies they had a strange habit of taking hours to gather and then forgetting when they left, and sometimes - just sometimes - one or more of them simply needed her. Her advice, her company or her help.

Fluttershy didn’t begrudge them any of these things. She had begun looking forward to seeing their smiling faces and hearing the enthusiasm in their voices as they told her all about their newest adventures, or their future plans. And they seemed to enjoy whiling away a few hours here and there with her - or running around her yard. Even her animal friends had gotten into the spirit of things, and more than once she’d caught Applebloom with a squirrel dozing on her head - and, for that matter, a seal with a Scootaloo dozing on his back.

Not only did these visits brighten her days and usually end with four smiling faces, they allowed Fluttershy to ensure the Crusaders didn’t do anything too dangerous and get themselves hurt. They respected her, and she could keep them safe - it was nice, she had thought, to be the protector for once, rather than the one needing to be protected. But of course she hadn’t even been able to do that.

Looking at the anxious, unhappy faces of Sweetie Belle and Applebloom, she couldn’t help but think she had failed them. If she had kept better track of them, if she had warned them, they would never, ever have wandered into the forest and they almost certainly wouldn’t have been attacked by a bear. She hadn’t been able to protect them - and when they had needed her, she hadn’t even been able to save them properly.

She cast a nervous glance over at the sleeping form of Scootaloo, wrapped in blankets with a damp cloth draped over her bruised shoulder. Fortunately, nothing was broken and with any luck the filly would be able to walk again by the time the medicine Fluttershy had given her wore off and she awoke. There was no doubt the brave crusader would be limping for a while, though.

“Fluttershy, I just wanted to thank you for helpin’ us out. We’d have been goners if you hadn’t helped us.”

That was Applebloom, of course, and Fluttershy couldn’t help but be grateful to her for being the one to break the silence. At least, that’s how she should have felt. In reality she froze, for just a moment, in sheer terror. She bit back a sudden urge to throw up and turned to face the littlest Apple with a small smile forced haphazardly onto her face. She was going to have to lecture them now. She would have had to do it anyway, of course, but now she had to do it now.

When Fluttershy spoke, her voice was kind and gentle, but also exhausted - it worked well for her, given the circumstances, because it made her sound terribly disappointed. Which, in truth, she was. Just a little.

“Oh...um. You’re quite welcome, Applebloom. I’d never ever have just let you get hurt. Any of you. You’re my friends, and you mean an awful lot to me. I’d hate to see anything happen to you.” The smiles the two gave her actually managed to chase a little of her anxiety away - not a lot, but a start could only be a good thing right “But I have to ask - I mean, I was really hoping you’d … if it’s not too much trouble I was just wondering ...”

She paused for a moment, trying to order her thoughts. She had to be assertive - she was the grown-up here, and they’d been not only extremely careless but they’d also been trying to trap animals.

The thought was enough to spark a small hint of her earlier fury, and she began again - calmly, firmly. “I need you girls to tell me exactly what you were doing out there. You could have been very badly hurt - what happened? Were you really trying to trap animals?”

The conscious Crusaders squirmed in their seats uncomfortably, eyes darting around the room as if they were searching for a way to escape. Slowly - pointedly - Angel Bunny rose from his basket and planted himself firmly between them and the door, crossing his front legs over his chest and narrowing his eyes at them. Fluttershy cleared her throat, and both Sweetie Belle and Applebloom opened their mouths to speak.

Uncertain if she could handle both of them talking at once, she held up a hoof. “One at a time please, girls. I need to make sure that I understand this properly. Which one of you would like to tell me the story?”

“Uh … I think Sweetie should tell it! It’s more her story anyway - I was just watching for most of it.”

“No way! I’m not telling it, you tell it! You’re the one who trapped the bear!”

“If you hadn’t taken us out there in the first place, I never would’ve had the chance!”

“I didn’t take us out there to catch bears! I just wanted to catch a squirrel!”

“Besides, it was Scootaloo who -”

“Girls!” Fluttershy interrupted, a little more sharply than she had intended, and two sets of eyes snapped towards her immediately as her guests fell silent. “Why don’t you both tell me? Just - please don’t both talk at once, okay?”

The fillies looked at each other and, apparently finding her suggestion to their liking, nodded as one. It never failed to amaze Fluttershy just how in tune the three seemed to be - they talked at the same time, said the same things, even moved together. And now these two were both staring at her, looking terribly nervous.

Another silence stretched out between them - but this one lasted only a few seconds before Sweetie Belle whispered something to her friend, earning her a small smile from Applebloom - and causing the little yellow filly to begin speaking, absently running a hoof across the bandage wrapped around her head.

“Well, I guess it all started when we were tryin’ to figure out how we were gonna get our cutie marks and Sweetie Belle remembered the last time we came to stay with you.”

Fluttershy sat in silence and listened intently as Applebloom began to tell her story - that would always have been the case, no matter who was telling it, but the impatient and energetic nature of this particular story teller made it a necessity - particularly now, when a combination of excitement and nervousness meant she was speaking even more quickly than she usually did.

“And she was sayin’ how much fun it was an’ how much she loves being out here with all your animals and how nice it’d be to get a cutie mark for workin’ with critters like you got, so we could play with ‘em all whenever we wanted.” Applebloom’s voice carried a slight hitch, and Fluttershy could tell it was genuine - the little filly felt terrible for what had happened to her friends. Sweetie Belle nodded as she spoke, eyes fixed firmly on the ground.

“An’ then Scootaloo remembered we were gonna be creature catchers but we never got to try it, so she thought it might be fun to try an’ catch our own creatures, so we could train ‘em up ourselves like you did. She wanted to get a timber wolf n’ raise it but me and Sweetie told her it was too dangerous, an’ we had to be careful like you told us.” Applebloom paused here and stared uncertainly at Fluttershy, who gave her an encouraging smile, willing her to continue.

“So we told her we should try and get some little things, and Sweetie suggested we go after squirrels ‘cause they’re little an’ she likes playin’ with the ones around here.”

“I was gonna call him Barkley,” interjected the little unicorn, her voice heavy and glum. Fluttershy fought back the sudden urge to hug her again - she had to be stern now.

Applebloom bobbed her head at her friend’s statement, expression dead serious, and continued.

“But when we tried to catch ‘em, they just kept runnin’ away from us - like yours did before you helped and had ‘em sniff us. So we thought maybe if we sat there for a while an’ let ‘em come up and get our scents, they’d come with us. But we sat there for hours and -”

“It was more like ten minutes,” Sweetie put in.

“Well, it sure felt like hours. Anyways. I got to thinkin’ that if your way wasn’t workin’, maybe we could try my sister’s! Applejack’s always herdin’ all kinds of animals at the farm, so I figured maybe we could round up some squirrels the same way.” Sad or not, Fluttershy detected a hint of pride in her voice as she spoke of trying to be like her sister.

“But we didn’t have anything to herd ‘em into, so we were just chasin’ ‘em all over the place - but then Scootaloo ran off somewhere and came back with some old volleyball nets and such. So I made little pens out’ve them to herd the squirrels into.”

“Those weren’t pens, they were cages!” This time Sweetie’s voice had just a flash of anger in it, and her squeaky indignity echoed throughout the cottage.

“I told you already - squirrels are good climbers! The pens needed tops on ‘em! Besides, you’re the one who told us where we ought to put ‘em!”

“I just … “ Sweetie let out a sob and turned her tear-filled eyes on Fluttershy. “I’m so sorry, Fluttershy. I just wanted to be like you!”

Fluttershy’s mind was racing as Sweetie buried her face in her forelegs, which were resting on the table, and began to cry. Applebloom locked her friend in a hug, and Fluttershy tried to make sense of what she’d just heard.

Oh yes

The Crusaders had tromped into the forest, terrorised the poor animals in a misguided attempt at making friends - or maybe pets - out of them. And when the way they knew - the way they had been taught, as they perceived it - had failed them, they’d lost patience and resorted to … well, really, they were homemade animal traps.

As soon as one of you little birds

And they’d done it all because they wanted to be like her. Because they thought that was what she did. What she would do.

Or monkeys

They hadn’t been trying to be cruel. That was a relief to her, at least - though of course she’d known all along that they were good girls, they just did silly things sometimes. Except this wasn’t just silly, was it? They could have been killed - all because they wanted to imitate her.

Or bears touches this net

Sweetie Belle wanted to be like her? But … she was nothing special, really. There were so many other, better ponies for Sweetie to look up to. But the little unicorn had chosen her - and for just this one day, so had Applebloom and Scootaloo. And she’d failed them. And though she knew she’d never forgive herself, she had to at least try to make it right.

You’ll be mine!

She leaned over and pulled the crying filly close to her, nuzzling her gently and whispering quietly, “There, there. It’s okay, Sweetie. You didn’t do it on purpose, I know. I’m not mad at you, I promise - I’m just glad you’re safe.” The lecture, she decided, was best left until the most reckless of the Crusaders was awake to hear it.

Mine!

After long minutes and soft, soothing words, Sweetie Belle ran out of tears. Fluttershy held her for a moment, before glancing down to find a pair of green eyes peeking up at her. “Are you okay, Sweetie?” Her reward was a nod she felt more than saw. “Well, then … do you think you could tell me about the bear?”

“It was all my fault. I thought if we put some of the cages around the bottom of bigger trees, some animals might run down into them, and then we could say hello.” Sweetie spoke far more slowly than Applebloom had, her voice oozing shame and regret.

“But I guess I didn’t see the cave. When we came back there was a little baby bear trapped inside, and he was so sad. He wouldn’t stop crying, and I was too scared to go over and let him out because bears are dangerous.” She trailed off, and when she continued, her voice was barely audible. “We weren’t expecting what we caught to be so upset. I thought it would be happy to see us.”

Fluttershy believed it. She had little doubt that Sweetie Belle didn’t have a lot of experience when it came to wild animals - the ones that came to visit the cottage weren’t tame, of course, but they were used to ponies and even the shyest ones were very friendly, having spent anywhere from weeks to months in Fluttershy’s company.

Seeing the frightened, panicked reaction of a baby trapped against its will would have been horrifying for the poor dear. But it was good that she had - that they all had. It would make them think twice before they tried something like that again.

Fluttershy turned her attention back to the story as the unicorn continued. “Scootaloo got really mad. She said it was our job to fix it since it was our fault, so she charged off to let it out but … the big bear came back at the same time. When he saw her playing with the cage, he got really mad and tried to get her - she almost managed to move out of the way in time because she’s so quick but he caught her on the shoulder. She went flying. She … she was just laying there, and the bear went after her. It should’ve been me.”

Sweetie trailed off and after a long pause a fourth voice interrupted - that of Scootaloo, who had apparently woken up at some point during their conversation and was watching them through half-lidded eyes. She looked and sounded as exhausted as Fluttershy felt.

“Ugh. Don’t say stuff like that. You didn’t make me be dumb. Besides, if it’d been you, you’d be dead by now. I never would’ve been brave enough to pull what you did - you tackled a bear! That was amazing.” She caught Fluttershy’s disapproving look and added, “And … y’know. Wrong.”

“I just didn’t want you to get hurt. And it didn’t matter - I didn’t even slow him down!”

“But you did get its attention away from her,” Applebloom chimed in, shooting her friend an encouraging smile “If you hadn’t …”

“You saved my life, Sweetie - and you too, ‘Bloom. Thanks. For dragging me away from there.”

“Aw, don’t sweat it - we’re just lucky it got distracted when it caught sight of the little one again. That was quick thinking, Sweetie Belle - running behind the cage like that.”

“I wasn’t thinking, I was hiding! I thought if he had to look for me he wouldn’t have time to eat you!”

Fluttershy felt herself shrink, ever so slightly, at the growing noise within her peaceful home - felt the need, desperate and terrible, to run up to her room and hide under her bed. So many voices all talking at once, shouting over one another - it was too much. She couldn’t handle it, and it needed to stop.

“Girls, please!” she shouted - which, in her case, meant she raised her voice just a little - it wasn’t even enough to drown out the weary mumbling of Scootaloo. It was a mark of their respect for her that all three of her guests immediately fell silent and looked towards her expectantly.

Leaning on the door with half a carrot clutched in one paw, Angel allowed himself a small smile.

“So,” Fluttershy summarised, “you found the cub trapped, and Scootaloo tried to free it - that was very good of you, Scootaloo, but very dangerous. If something like this happens again - and I really hope it isn’t going to - I want you to come and get me right away. Okay?”

Sullen nods from all three cowed Crusaders.

“Then father bear came back and found his baby trapped - he thought Scootaloo was hurting it, and he attacked her. She was hurt, and he almost went after her again, but Sweetie Belle tried to tackle him, then drew him away while Applebloom made sure Scootaloo was alright. While he was busy trying to free his cub you girls ran. Is that right?”

“Yes, Fluttershy,” all three of them muttered, not meeting her eyes.

She turned her gaze to Scootaloo and spoke softly, “So that means that when I arrived and you were rushing to help Sweetie … oh, it must have hurt you so badly.”

Scootaloo winced, but her face quickly rearranged itself into what Fluttershy assumed was supposed to be disinterest. “Well, yeah. But you know - it’s no big deal. It’s not like ’d just run away when one of my friends was in trouble.”

A brief pause before a horrified expression appeared on her face. When she spoke again the words almost tumbled out, panic evident in each and every one. “Not that that’s what you did, ‘Bloom - I know you were just trying to save me first!”

Sweetie Belle looked confused for just a moment before her face lit up, and she leapt to embrace her red-maned friend - who was looking anywhere but at her friends and not making a sound. “Don’t be sad, Applebloom. Scootaloo needed you, and you had to help her. I know you weren’t just going to leave me there!”

“Yeah. You were really brave! I’d be a goner if it weren’t for you. And face it - you guys need me.”

It felt like an eternity before the earth pony replied, but when she did it was accompanied by a real, if small, smile. “You bet we do, Scoots. I need both of you. And if y’all ever scare me like that again, I’m gonna kick your flanks myself.”

As the other Crusaders burst into laughter, Fluttershy smiled a soft smile. And maybe, just maybe, a hint of the peace she’d been so glad of such a short time ago was restored.

Four pairs of expectant eyes stared at Fluttershy from across her table. Three of those belonged to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and their eyes were nervous, and afraid - but, to Fluttershy’s great relief, they were the eyes of three fillies waiting for - and dreading - a punishment, rather than those of three fillies afraid for their lives.

The girls were shaken, bruised, and thoroughly miserable - but they were alright. Fluttershy was fairly sure that there wouldn’t be any long term problems for them, besides maybe a few nightmares. That was good - not them having nightmares, which was of course absolutely terrible, but that they didn’t seem to have been scarred by the experience. She knew all about scars. She wasn’t exactly fond of the physical ones she carried, though thankfully her fur had eventually grown to cover them.

But they were nothing compared to the cold panic that had washed over her today - right when she needed to be strong the most. It had been a reminder - of just how hopeless she really was, and how silly she had been to think she could protect anyone. Still, it could have been worse - the fillies were fine, and she’d be sure they were better looked after in the future. She’d just have to enlist some help from the most dependable ponies she knew.

The fourth pair of eyes, which belonged to Hummingway - one of her feathered friends, who had taken a liking to Sweetie Belle’s singing voice and who now fluttered above her head, wings flapping madly - blinked at her, and she sighed internally. She’d already put off lecturing them for too long.

“Girls, you understand that what you did today was wrong, don’t you? You can’t just trap animals like that - you’ll scare them, or hurt them.” That seemed like a good place to start, and the way the Crusaders squirmed told her they knew she was right. “I know you just wanted to make friends with them - wanted them to love you - but you can’t force them to. And they’re never going to be happy if you try to - you’ll only upset them, and I know that you’d never want to do that.”

“We know.” The Crusaders spoke at the exact same moment, sounding as guilty as they looked. Fluttershy had already known that they’d learned their lessons, of course - she had seen it in the horrified expressions of Sweetie Belle and Applebloom as they remembered the poor cub, crying out for someone to help him.

“Okay, then. Do you promise you won’t do it again?”

“We promise.”

“Thank you, girls. All of you.” She gave them a gentle smile, and then sighed. This next question was harder - but it was important, not only for them but for her. She couldn’t let them walk away thinking the bear had just been some kind of monster, attacking them for no reason.

“That bear did a bad thing today, and there’s no excuse for it - but I need you girls to understand why he did what he did. Can any of you tell me?”

Her question was answered almost immediately, and Fluttershy was surprised - though she’d never, ever say so and felt just awful for it - to see that it was Scootaloo who spoke. “‘Cause it thought we were stealing its cub, so it tried to stop us.” A little of the pegasus’ usual energy had returned to her voice, and she sounded sure of herself - that was good. It meant she believed what she was saying. The other Crusaders nodded in agreement - Applebloom let out an “eyup” - and Fluttershy smiled at them.

“I’m glad to hear it - imagine how Rarity, or Applejack or even … ” She closed her eyes and bit her lip gently as a fresh wave of panic hit her - it was weaker this time, at least. She should probably be grateful for that, but she knew all it really meant was that she didn’t really have enough left in her to panic anymore.

“ … or even Rainbow Dash would feel, if anything like that were to happen to any of you - I’m sure they’d do everything they could to keep you safe. And that’s what Mister Bear was trying to do - look after his little baby. He just got mad and went too far - much too far. Normally, he wouldn’t have bothered you at all - and I promise that if you don’t go near him again he’s not going to hurt you.” Her voice was calm, soft and soothing - and the girls nodded solemnly as she spoke.

“But what you did was very careless - not to mention dangerous! You could have been killed!” Here her voice rose, just a little, and she narrowed her eyes at them - for just a moment, she paused to let her words sink in - to ensure they not only listened but heard. When she continued, her voice was quieter but no less sharp. “Wild animals are very dangerous - and the Everfree forest is even more dangerous. It’s no place for you girls to be!”

“But -” Scootaloo started, earning a glare from Angel. Her eyes widened slightly, and she fell silent.

“No buts! I -” Fluttershy trailed off. They were going to go into the forest again. Sure, they’d be more careful. Sure, they’d do their best to avoid hurting animals - but their brush with giant furry death had done nothing to dissuade them from putting themselves in the worst danger of all, and caution wasn’t always enough. She didn’t know why she was surprised, really - clearly they hadn’t learned from their encounter with the cockatrice and this wasn’t really all that much different. She had to do something - to get through to them. And there was only one thing she could think of.

As she uttered her next words, her heart was hammering in her ears, and her breath was coming in short, strained gasps. She felt tears falling onto her cheek, like raindrops from the big blue sky. She could hear a voice echoing from far away.

“No! You don’t get to die! You’re not allowed to die! Get up on those hooves, missy!”

“Please?”

With one long, shuddering breath she forced herself to be calm - numb. Her voice betrayed her and, when she spoke again, it was only a whisper. But it came tumbling out of her in a stream. “Listen to me, all of you - the Everfree forest is dangerous. More dangerous than you can possibly imagine. And it’s not just the animals or the creatures or the swallow-you-whole darkness. You don’t understand that, and nothing I say is going to show you.”

Angel was there then, pressed against her side and bringing an anchor to the swirling storm of panic and fear.

“You girls need to get home - your families will be worried about you, and we have to let them know you’re safe. I’ll take you.” Even to her own ears, she suddenly sounded unnaturally calm. “But first I need you to promise me that you’ll all come to Sugarcube Corner first thing tomorrow morning, okay? I promise it’s important.”

“Uh … sure, Fluttershy.” Scootaloo hesitated before continuing. “We’ll be there. Right girls?”

Applebloom and Sweetie Belle nodded their heads slowly, never taking their eyes off of Fluttershy. As they did, the little pegasus spoke again, “But … why?”

Five sets of frightened eyes stared up at Fluttershy, and the tension that had hung in the air returned tenfold. She closed her eyes, unable to meet their gazes.

“I have a story to tell you girls - and I really, really think you need to hear it.”

All around her she could hear ponies talking - low hushed tones and excited shouts, words whispered in a lover’s ear or the happy bellows of fillies as they frolicked about, carving out new adventures and memories in their own little worlds. Each voice told its own story - of love, life, uncertain futures and broken dreams. An ocean of noise, pressing in on her from all sides, dragging her further down with each step she took and screaming in her mind like a flash in a storm. Fluttershy was drowning.

An endless flood of thoughts assaulted her mind, and she found herself flitting from one to another - desperately reaching for them, searching for an anchor, a lifeline. Something to steady her, give her focus. Something she could cling to for escape. Every now and then, somepony glanced her way. She could feel their eyes on her, digging into her like teeth and not letting go. She didn’t belong in this place. This was their world, and she was an intruder.

She wanted nothing more but to turn and run in the other direction. To slam her door and lock this place - these ponies - out. To retreat back into the world she loved, and never come out again. But she couldn’t. Somewhere in this world, far from her own, were her friends. Her saviors, who had torn her from the darkness and given her hope again. Her heroes, who had brought love and laughter to a day stained with tears. And now she needed them. Needed them to welcome her again, with warm arms and light laughter. To save her. Like they always did.

She remembered the expression on Rarity’s face when her friend had opened the Boutique to find her sister being nudged towards her by Fluttershy. She had been horrified immediately, but as Fluttershy had explained, her confusion had melted into shock - and her horror at her ordinarily pristine friend’s dishevelled, distraught appearance had been replaced by genuine fear. Fluttershy had discovered, beyond any doubt, just where Sweetie Belle had learned to hug. She was still having trouble breathing, her friend’s endless thanks echoing in her ears.

When Fluttershy had left half an hour later, substantially cleaner and ever so slightly calmer, Rarity had still been trying to decide - quite loudly - whether she should be hugging and reassuring her sister or screaming at her. Sweetie Belle had looked surprisingly happy in her sister’s embrace, being screamed at and called a foal. Not like Applebloom, whose expression had been like a rain cloud as Big Macintosh had lead her inside without a word - Applejack already having shared quite a few with her little sister before rounding on Fluttershy.

The middle Apple had never been much for physical affection, at least not in any way she was gentle enough to attempt with Fluttershy, but the look in her eyes - and her insistence that she would see Scootaloo home, and explain what had happened to the pegasus’ mother - had said it all.

The stetson that sat atop Fluttershy’s head didn’t hurt, either - though she was fairly sure it made her look a little silly. She didn’t care. She loved it just the same. Not that she would keep it, of course - she would return it to Applejack tomorrow. But she needed it now - to remind her of the ponies who cared for her, and help her keep moving. Just for today.

Tomorrow, the fillies would assemble at Sugarcube Corner, and she’d tell them her story. This promise had been extracted not only from the Crusaders themselves, but also - somewhat more reluctantly - from Applejack and Rarity, who had grounded their siblings on the spot having heard the story.

Fluttershy blinked.

It took her a moment to realise what she was looking at - without her realising it, her thoughts had carried her all the way to the door of Sugarcube Corner. A small sliver of pride snaked through her as she realised she’d managed to keep herself occupied after all, but it was quickly swallowed by the realisation that she was once again about to burden her closest friends.

She raised a hoof to knock on the door, but it swung open before she could and a pair of bright blue eyes peeked out at her. There stood Pinkie Pie, face twisted into a concerned frown. “There you are, Fluttershy! We were starting to think you weren’t coming and I was getting a little worried and the cupcakes were getting cold and icky and who likes cold cupcakes so Dashie was just about to -” The party pony stopped her speech mid-sentence as she caught a glimpse of Fluttershy’s face.

Her eyes moved over the pegasus, searching for something. After a moment, she apparently found what she was looking for - and then Fluttershy was being held close against her friend, a hoof running through her hair. “It’s okay,” Pinkie whispered. “I’m here. We’re here. You can let it out.”

Standing in the doorway of the bakery, locked in the embrace of her closest friend, Fluttershy found herself crying all the tears the day had bought her - all the tears she had forced away trying to stay strong.

The baker didn’t say a word, instead leading her friend silently inside and softly pushing the door closed behind them.