Mane-iac's Off Day

by Maniac92

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Mane-iac
Length: 1449

Mane-iac has no ideas and is in a rut. With no other ideas, she turns to the Power Ponies.

Mane-iac is having a bad day. She has no ideas, her previous ideas have all been failures, and her confidence in herself is shattered.

With nothing better to do, she goes to see her archenemies, the Power Ponies.

Cover art by SakuraWolfer.

Published 2014-12-31 00:10:08 UTC
Last updated 2014-12-31 00:10:08 UTC

Mane-iac's Off Day

“Ma’am?” asked one of the stallions surrounding her.

Mane-iac raised her head up from her arms and glared at the henchman. “What is it Larry?”

Larry the Henchman looked around the abandoned warehouse that Mane-iac had requisitioned for her own use. The other henchmen were standing around, awkwardly waiting for their boss to give them orders. They looked at Larry and gestured for him to continue.

“Well…” began Larry, “The other guys and I were wondering if you had anything you wanted us to do.”

Mane-iac groaned, her head flopping back into her arms. Her long green hair spilled over the desk she was sitting at. “I don’t know…” she muttered.

“We could go case a jewelry store,” suggested Larry.

“Nah…” said Mane-iac, lifting her head up and resting her chin on her arms. “We did that yesterday.”

“We could see if there’s any experimental weaponry that could get stolen,” continued Larry.

“No,” shot down Mane-iac. She used a tendril of hair to pick up a nearby ray gun. “The last time we tried, we only got these boring freeze rays.” She aimed and fired at another henchman, who was promptly encased in a block of ice. “See?” said the supervillain. “Boring. If Steve had been disintegrated or immolated it would have been exciting.” She carelessly tossed the gun behind her. It fired as it hit the floor and struck another henchman.

“Kevin!” cried Larry.

Mane-iac waved a dismissive hoof. “Just put Steve and Kevin outside in the sun, they’ll thaw soon enough.”

“Well…um…” Larry tapped in chin, deep in thought. He smiled and said, “There’s a new orphanage down the street that we could attack! You love hearing orphans scream!”

Mane-iac smiled. “Ah, it’s like music to my ears.” She frowned again. “But what’s the point? The Power Ponies will just show up and beat me. Just like every other scheme or plan I come up with.” She sighed and got up.

“Ma’am?” asked Larry as Mane-iac walked towards the front door. “Where are you going?”

“For a walk,” answered the villain. “Maybe I’ll come up with something for us to do, but all I really want is some fresh air.” She opened the door and stepped out of the warehouse.

Once outside, Mane-iac took a deep breath and looked around. Her warehouse was at the docks and she gazed out at the ocean. She sighed and turned to walk into the city. She knew where to go.

A Few Minutes Later:

“Um…guys?” asked Humdrum as he burst into the room. “We might have a problem!”

The Power Ponies looked up from the large round table where they were sitting. They were currently in the Hall of Power, their meeting place and official headquarters.

“What is it Humdrum?” asked Masked Matter-Horn. “Is it a villain?”

“Are they attacking the city?” asked Mistress Marevelous, reaching for her lasso.

“Can we beat them up?!” asked Zapp excitedly.

“Beat them up!?” said Fili-Second. She started running around the room with her superspeed excitedly. “I’ll hit them so fast they won’t know what hit them!”

“Oh, I hope we can just settle things peacefully,” said Saddle Rager. “I’d rather not lose control and hurt anyone.”

“I know, dear,” said Radiance. “Honestly, I have better things to do than beat people up all day.”

“There’s something better than beating people up?” asked a confused Zapp.

Humdrum groaned, putting a hoof to his face. “Just follow me,” he said as he gestured for the other ponies to follow him.

Humdrum led them to the Hall of Power’s waiting room, where concerned citizens could sit comfortably as they waited for the Power Ponies to finish another emergency so they could tell them of their own emergency.

“I don’t get it,” said Zapp as they walked into the room, “What’s the problem?”

Humdrum pointed to one of the comfortable couches in the room. “She’s the problem!”

The other heroes followed Humdrum’s gaze and gasped. Mane-iac, their archenemy, was laying on the couch, a magazine in her hooves.

“Mane-iac!” shouted Masked Matter-Horn. “What are you doing here?” She got into a combat stance, her horn glowing threateningly.

Mane-iac looked up. “Hey,” she greeted nonchalantly. Her gaze dropped back to the magazine and she calmly turned the page.

“H-hey…” said Masked Matter-Horn uncertainly, the glow fading from her horn.

“What are you up to, Mane-iac?” asked Mistress Marevelous suspiciously.

“Yeah!” said Zapp, flying into the air. Lightning sparked around her as she glared at the lounging villain. “Trying to attack us in our own headquarters?!”

“Yeah!” said Fili-Second. She began running at superspeed around the couch. “Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you?”

Mane-iac sighed and closed the magazine. Putting it down, she looked at the others and asked, “Have you ever felt like you were in a rut?”

Fili-Second stopped and looked down. She had been moving so fast in a circle that she had left a groove in the floor. “All the time!” she said happily.

Using her powers, Radiance grabbed Fili-Second and brought her closer to the other heroes. “What are you talking about?” she asked the supervillain.

Mane-iac groaned and flopped on the couch, her hair spilling everywhere. “Nothing seems fun anymore. Theft, assault, plotted murder, it all seems like I’ve done it before, you know? I’m out of ideas! There’s only so many times you can threaten to spray the city with hairspray before it starts to get old.”

“Wait,” said Humdrum slowly, “So the only reason you’re here is…because you’re bored?”

“Yes!” said Mane-iac. She used her hair to reach out and grab Humdrum. She brought him close and hugged him like a stuffed animal. “I can’t come up with a single scheme that excites me, you know? I know, no matter what I come up with, you guys are going to beat me. What’s the point?”

“Well…you could always reform and be good,” suggested Saddle Rager.

Mane-iac gagged. “Please, don’t joke about that.” She used one of her tendrils of hair to grab Humdrum and toss him to the side. “I don’t want to become good, I just want to…to…” she groaned. “I don’t even know! You’ll beat me no matter what!” She put her head in her hooves and sobbed. “I’m useless!”

“That’s not true!” said Fili-Second. “You’ve almost killed us a couple of times! Remember that robot barber you built? The one with the flame-thrower hair dryer?”

Mane-iac sniffed and smiled fondly. “Ah, I remember. One of my finest ideas.”

“Or that time with the sentient wigs?” chimed in Saddle Rager. “They almost strangled Humdrum and the Mayor!”

The villain wiped a tear from her eye with her hair and laughed. “Their faces were turning purple by the time you freed them!”

“Don’t remind me…” muttered Humdrum, rubbing his throat and wincing.

“Or that time you threatened to spill that giant vat of hair remover over the city!” said Radiance. “You almost got away with it too…”

“If it weren’t for you meddling superheroes!” finished Mane-iac. She fought her smile down and said, “Ok, so I’ve had a couple of good ideas. But these last few schemes have been a complete failure.”

“That may be true,” said Masked Matter-Horn, “But you shouldn’t let that stop you!”

“Um, guys?” said Zapp, her eyes widening.

“That’s right!” said Mistress Marevelous, ignoring. “You just gotta improve your plans and try harder!”

“Guys!” said Humdrum worriedly.

“We’re always on guard when we deal with you, Mane-iac!” said Masked Matter-Horn encouragingly. “Why, I bet if you put some more effort into your plans, you’d be able to beat us no problem!”

“GUYS!” screamed both Zapp and Humdrum.

Mane-iac smiled at the group of heroes. “You know what? You’re right! I shouldn’t let my defeats get me down! I should learn from them and become a better villain!” She quickly pulled out a phone and dialed a number. “Larry? We’re back in the game! Get the men ready and let’s hit that orphanage!” She hung up and turned back to the others. “You guys are so wonderful! Thank you so much!” She ran out of the Hall of Power, laughing maniacally.

The heroes (aside from Humdrum and Zapp) waved after her.

“I’m glad we were able to help her,” said Saddle Rager.

“Yeah,” said Masked Matter-Horn. “It feels good to inspire ponies, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah…” said Zapp slowly. “Except the pony that you inspired IS A PSYCHO SUPERVILLAIN!”

“A psycho supervillain that you just encouraged to be an even more psycho supervillain!” yelled Humdrum.

The other superheroes froze.

“…Oh yeah…” said Radiance.

“That’s our bad,” admitted Fili-Second.

An explosion outside shook the building.

“POWER PONIES!” yelled Masked Matter-Horn. “MOVE OUT!”