Better Call Saul!
The sun slowly rose over the mountain, bringing its warmth to the citizens of Ponyville. Inside Ponyville; stood a modest home that belonged to Jimmy McGill, otherwise known as Saul Goodman.
Saul Goodman was proud of his home, it was way better than his former home back in Nebraska. This house had three bedrooms, two bathrooms, a massive living room and kitchen, and a pleasant backyard to enjoy when Saul was stressed.
Saul stood in front of his bathroom mirror, he wore a jet black suit with a white tie and had on his favorite dress shoes to start off the week. Damn do I look good, he thought to himself.
He grabbed his suit case and headed out the door. While walking to his office, he began remembering the fun times that he shared with his old clients, Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.
Saul was sad when he heard that Walter White had died, even though the man grew into a psychopath, he was one hell of a client. Saul also had no idea what happened to Jesse, one second he was captured, the next, he was gone.
But enough was enough, when things got too hot, Saul had to throw the towel in and call it "quits." It was then when he received his new fake identity, under the false name of Michael Greene, that things began to turn out better.
He spent his days in a potato field in Nebraska, farming was not his area of expertise. Saul was born in Santa Fe and raised in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He was used to the cool, air-conditioned building, however, he was not fond of working outside on a blistering hot afternoon for twelve hours a day.
Then word came around about some sort of portal that linked two worlds together, Saul was skeptical at first, but after that it was deemed 'safe' to enter the portal, Saul jumped at the opportunity to restore his old life back.
He opened a building called Saul Goodman & Associates and went back to his old lifestyle. Getting crooks out of jail.
At first, criminal activity was very low, the most dangerous crime ever committed was stealing twelve books out of a public library.
That all changed when humans were allowed to settle in Equestria. Alcohol was banned in Equestria and there was a HUGE demand for it. So moonshine, bootlegging, and speakeasies became an enormous problem, and what happens when the criminals get busted?
They call Saul Goodman.
Saul arrived at his workplace. It was an exact copy of the one back in Albuquerque. A sign was hung above the door saying, 'Better Call Saul!'Then there was the inflated Statue of Library that was on the roof of the building. Saul walked to the door, only to find out that it's unlock.
Lyra was here early, wouldn't be the first either. She was Saul's receptionist, and she did a damn good job too. When Saul first declared his business to be open, Lyra was the first pony that offered her services to her. Many other human-owned businesses refused to hire her, mainly because of her obsession with human hands, but Saul was different, he hired her and she hasn't let him down yet.
"Morning Lyra," Saul said as he entered the building.
Lyra, who was sitting behind the wooden desk, smiled, "Hey Saul! Ready to start the week?"
Saul chuckled and fumbled out his keys to his room, "New week, new problems. Has anyone left any messages over the weekend?"
"No sir, which is kinda weird, usually there's around five or six."
It was strange, this was the first time in Saul's career that nobody had left a message on the work phone. Maybe it was because that finally the Equestrian government allowed cable, internet, and phone services into this new world. Saul shrugged and went into his office.
The office. Saul's little sanctuary, much like the building, the room was identical as the one back on Earth. The US Constitution was copied and painted on the three walls behind his desk, on the right side of his desk, behind a paneled wall, sat his vault. Said vault was filled with currency and important information.
Saul placed his suit case on his desk and sat down in his leather chair. While sitting down, Saul felt...off. Then it occurred to him, he didn't have his morning coffee.
He pressed the button on his pager that allowed him to talk to his receptionist. "Lyra, I need my coffee!" he demanded.
"Yes sir, right away!" She responded. Within seconds she returned with Saul's favorite mug that said, "Worlds Greatest Lawyer," on it. Saul bid his thanks and dismissed her to her work.
Saul took a couple of sips before his door was slammed open. He looked up from his computer and before him, was Fire Cover. The stallion was an Pegasus with a light orange coat and yellow mane. His Cutie Mark consisted of two fireballs heading towards each other.
He had a worried expression on his face, "S-Saul, I need your help!"
"What is it Fire? Caught your girlfriend screwing another man? Tough kid, I caught my ex-wife screwing my step-dad once,"
He looked at Saul with a confused and concerned look on his, Saul just took another sip of his coffee.
"How did you know my marefriend was cheating on me?"
"Doesn't matter. What is it that got your panties in a swivel?"
"My partner, he's out to get me, I should have known that this was going to happen. First he steals my-"
Saul was already flipping out, "Out to get you? Get out of here then! I don't need blood in my office! I swear if that inspector came here and founded blood on the floor..."
"Saul that's not the point! I need to get out of here!"
"Well hello to the clueless, have you checked your sides lately?" Fire Cover checked his sides and didn't reply, "You have wings for Christs' sake! You can fly anywhere you want-"
Fire Cover flew out the window that was in Saul's office. Saul jumped out his seat and took cover under his desk.
Saul emerged from his desk, shards of glass was scattered everywhere on his desk. Saul then noticed that one of the hinges was broken.
"Great, first he bursts his way in here for literally nothing then flies through the window as if it doesn't MATTER!" Saul kicked the wall. Instead of creating a small hole in the wall as he expected, he stubbed his toe.
"OW! FUCK!" he screamed. He held his feet in the air and hopped on one leg, trying to maintain his balance.
"Uh... Sir?" Lyra said.
"WHAT?" Saul screamed.
Lyra flinched, "Um, Silver Blade is at the police station and requested your services."
Saul sighed, "Alright, alright, I'll be down there in a moment, just leave me be."
The walk towards the police station didn't take very long. Before entering, Saul straightened up his tie and flipped his air to the side. Gotta make a strong first appearance.
He headed inside and immediately made his way to the interrogation rooms. Saul comes to the police station nearly six times a day, so the police officers don't even bother asking for his ID.
Saul spotted Silver Blade being interrogated by two human officers, Saul approached their room quickly and opened the door.
"Oh, so sorry to ruin to show! Now scat, you two are missing out on the donuts in the break room." Saul shooed the two out and closed the door, then he scanned the room for any microphones that were planted to eavesdrop on them.
Once done, he sat across Silver Blade and whipped out his files from his suit case.
"Alright lets see what we have here... three accounts on bootlegging, one account on illegal production of alcohol.... and another account on public masturbation, listen kid; just do that stuff at home like the rest of us, eh?" God, he was just like Badger.
"What is it this time?" Saul asked. Silver Blade looked up from his silver coat.
"They caught me carrying that moonshine, I told the officers that I founded it laying around but they didn't believe me."
"Alright, was the moonshine marked?" Silver shook his head, "Good, that's one less problem to worry about, now you're going to stick to your story. Say you were just taking a morning stroll, stumbled upon the moonshine, and was heading to the police station to report it."
"That's it? No hoof-printing or some secret urine test to see where I've been?"
"What are they selling on the streets nowadays? 1960s' acid? Trust me kid, they ain't going to think twice about you, there's nothing to think twice about you."
Silver Blade stood up out of his chair and glared at Saul.
"Not that I meant it in a bad way, it's a good trait really, I've gotta go, see ya." Saul took his suit case and swiped the sweat off of his forehead. He looked at his watch, only four hours till closing time...
After Saul somewhat fixed the door and picked up the glass, he resumed his day by wasting it by playing Minesweeper.Saul was on a role until he clicked on a bomb. Shit! How the hell do you win at this game?!
The phone that was only meant for emergencies rang, Saul's head jerked in its direction, debating on whether to pick it up or not. Hesitantly, he reached out and answered the phone.
"H-hello?" He said.
"Saul? That you? Tank goodness ya picked up, we may have ah problem on our hoofs..."
Saul knew that voice too well, "Applejack? What seems to be the problem?"
"The princess is gettin' on to me, they're expected to come and search my place for moonshine but they haven't arrived yet and you know I can't lie."
Saul's stomach was beginning to turn, Applejack was one of his hottest clients, she was literally making millions off of alcohol. It was strange to Saul, she was suppose to maintain a role in the public due to her status as the Element of Honesty. Saul even asked why she was producing moonshine, and she said that she enjoyed it and was good at it.
"Okay, listen: come back to my place and we'll-" Saul was interrupted by his door. Said door flew off its hinges and fell flat on the floor.
Saul dropped his head into his hands, "Do you ponies know how to knock?"
Applejack ignored him, "Listen Saul, ah need to get out of Ponyville for the time-being."
Saul knew not to mess with Applejack; he learned his lesson a while back when he refused to become her lawyer.
Saul slid the panel to reveal the safe, he pressed the code on the pad and pulled out a piece of paper.
"Okay, so there's this guy, who knows another guy, who knows another guy, who knows a pony, and mentioned pony knows the human that can get you out of here."
Applejack nodded and placed the paper inside her brown bag.
"However, once you leave, there's no turning back. You'll move far away and go under a new identity, everything about you, zoop! Gone!"
Applejack snorted, "Ah won't be gone long Saul."
"Um, Saul? Princess Celestia just landed outside..." Lyra stated over the pager.
"Dag Nabbit! What now?" Applejack said with a lace of panic.
Saul frantically searched for a way out for her. Can't go out the front door. She's too big for the vault... Come on!
The window!
"Applejack, please don't kill me when you come back." Before Applejack could reply, Saul picked her up and lunged her out the window.
"SAAAAULLLLL!"
Gotta leave, gotta leave, gotta leave! He grabbed his coat, suit case, and phone.
Wait, the mug! Saul went back and shoved the mug into his pocket.
Home free now boys!
"Hello Saul."
Shit!
Author's Note
Saul is best human.
