Chapter 1 Chaos doesn't order the Combo meals

Chapter 1

Chaos doesn't order the Combo meals

Ya know the rules your parents tell you as a kid, you probably do not. Well the main ones are the rule about talking to strangers, another rule about accepting gifts from said strangers, and to not play in the middle of traffic. In 20 minutes I broke those three simple rules and got indebted to a chaos god and launched into a world thought to be fiction.

You would think that I’m a super fool, and you'll be 13 percent right. The other 65 percent is that I’m an ass to most people I meet, except for women- I’ve been raised to treat them better, and 20 percent of chaos induced insanity. Man can I ramble. My name is Dale, for now at least. This saga all started when I rode down to the local GameStop in Kelso, Washington. Now I’m just a nineteen year old who behaves for his mother (when she is within earshot. I’m a teen, what do you expect?), I’m six foot five inches tall with dark red hair, the start of a bushy beard, and moles along my neck in the shape of a cane (yea laugh it up). I mostly wear cargo pants and rude humor based decal t-shirts with combat boots. Oh and bass thumping headphones, can’t forget the bass.

I am an avid gamer and it irks me not to have a complete game series but I’m not CDO, that’s OCD but the letters are in the right order. My plan was to fill the holes in my Halo collection on this expedition. I owned Halo 3, ODST, Reach (honestly I think Bungie fucked up on that one), and Halo 4. Now I’m not a captain oblivious, but there were clear signs that I promptly ignored. Such as a promo for a large cash prize giveaway, a floating, rotating pink and yellow tree outside, and a very curious looking employee with a toothy grin and a hat with the mane six from My Little Pony on the bill and one hand had some sharp nails, just the one hand! Still leaving common sense at the door like a dog, I walk up to the counter and asked for the games I was missing. He said “Sure bro, want to try for the promo?”

Figuring Jabba the Hut had better chances at getting Megan Fox, Lady Jane, and Black Widow into bed, I replied “Why not.” After a form that had ‘Do you like bananas? If so, where?’ as a required field that disappeared as I finished it. The symphony of our growling stomachs drew my attention.

I asked “Hey want a sandwich?” To which he replied “Yea, it’s my lunch break anyways.” He rings me up and the total is $65.94 but I have the Power Ups Rewards card which gave me a 20 percent discount and I had a couple of coupons that gave me $5.50 off. I hand him $50.

He opens the cash register but then frowned “Sorry bro, no change.”

I face palmed “Alrighty then, tell ya what. I’ll go to the subway next door and break the 50, buy lunch and then pay you. Ya want a meatball sub?”

He grins “Yea, and a medium size Pepsi.”

I leave and head next door to subway. The “sub master” that handled my food looked a little peculiar as well. He had ashy skin with jet black hair, green and red eyes. I just took the eyes as special contacts. After getting lunch and paying for the games, the man's smile widened as I handed him a sub. We started talking about random and unrelated topics. Mostly about how Halo progressed, how Bungie fucked the sprint action in Reach and how 343 saved the series. How Master Chief is basically a god. At some point I asked a series of obvious questions. Starting with what his name was.

His response was coupled with a trolling grin “My name, Dale, is Discord.”

I go captain oblivious and carry on my query. “Why did the promo form ask if I liked bananas?”

“Do you like mmmbananas?” He countered.

I finally catch the joke, “Depends if they’re on the moon or not.”

With a sinister yet gleeful smile he hands me a gold card, “Well answered brony!” My face goes whiter than a bleached towel in a snowstorm in Antarctica at his words- just so you know, I’m what you could call a ‘closet’ Brony. I’m open about My Little Pony to other Bronies I know, but unknowledgeable to nonbronies- and it finally hits me like a head slap from Gibbs. Discord + Mane 6 hat= Yo ass be stupid.

At seeing my face, he asks the one question all bronies’ read in fics and want to be asked, “Want to go to Equestria?”

My mind kicks into overdrive and I start to negotiate. “Yes, but I have a few terms.”
“Of course, my dear boy. Ask away” He stated with a hint of evil curiosity on his face.

“First of all, I want to be a dragon mix; a Drakegator if you will, one with all the dragon attributes but has more of a gator look. Secondly, hammer space access. Third you help me when I ask for it, not when you feel like it and exactly as I ask it, no abstract interpretations. Finally I want three favors that I don’t have to give anything in return.” His prolonged silence starts to wear on my composure and nerves. During his silence I noticed that my foot-long sandwich has lasted longer than it should have. (Ya so what if I’m still eating! I’m always hungry, my mom and dad would even joke and call me “The Garbage Disposal”).

He locks eyes with me, and with a straight face that held the biggest smile I had seen, tells me, “Deal.” I was too busy staring at him in disbelief to notice him winding back with THE Gravity Hammer at my face. The last thoughts I held before I blacked out where “DAAAUUUMM!! Hey, that bastard didn’t get any chips; you always get chips with a sub and drink! You cannot trust those who don’t do combo meals!”

Author's Note

Thanks for visiting! I hope that this will continue and grow. If you find any mistakes or errors just let me know. Now go to sleep, I'll bet its after midnight for you and ya got work in six or so hours.