Literacy

by Aiyonbeam

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 3102

Rainbow Dash asks to borrow a book from Twilight.

When Rainbow Dash asks to borrow a book from Twilight, her friend's reaction takes Dash on a roller-coaster ride of confusion.

Published 2015-01-21 05:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-21 05:00:03 UTC

What's Wrong With Borrowing Books!?

"Twilight!" Rainbow Dash called, entering the spacious Grand Hall of the Crystal Castle. "You there?"

Rainbow gave a small, involuntary shudder at the echoes that met her ears. As awesome as it looked, the castle was just so darn big. Although she'd never admit it to anypony, it creeped her out sometimes.
Her thoughts turned to other topics as she flew a route still not quite familiar to her; one that took her straight to the library section of the castle. She knew that that was where Twilight would be.

"Can I come in? I'm already in, so say yes." Rainbow said as she barged through the door leading to the library. A quick glance around the room confirmed her suspicion; Twilight was sitting back in one of her ever-present cozy armchairs, reading two books - did that mare ever just read one at a time? - and drinking a cup of tea.

"Honestly," Dash quipped, landing next to the lavender alicorn. "Is drinking tea, like, an alicorn thing?"

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned to Rainbow Dash, setting her books down and sliding a bookmark into each as she did so.

"It might as well be." she replied. "It turns out that being in almost direct command of one of the most primal and ancient forces in all of Equestria brings frequent headaches; tea helps. How are things?"

"Fine." Dash said as Twilight began sipping her tea. "I need to borrow a book, that's all."

Rainbow Dash's reflexes were tested to the utmost as tea burst forth from Twilight's mouth, spraying everything within a few meters of her with hot, chamomile-flavored disbelief.

"What did you just say!?" she sputtered, eyes wide.

"What the heck, Twi!?" Dash called from somewhere near the ceiling. "I just wanna borrow your copy of Sapphire Statue, that's all! I can't find mine! You don't gotta freak out over it!"

Twilight, at this, made a small choking noise and promptly keeled over.

Rainbow Dash's only reply was a flat "What."

Soon, Twilight regained consciousness. Having a cup of wind-cooled tea poured over one's head tended to have that effect on ponies.

"Ugh..." Twilight groaned. "What happened?"

"I dunno!" Rainbow Dash replied, getting up off the reclining mare. "I asked if I could borrow a book and you just flipped! Are you all right?"

Twilight's eyes widened, and she slumped over, her head hitting the floor hard enough for her to jerk it back upward, wincing.

"What's wrong, Twi?" Rainbow Dash asked, now concerned for her friend. Something was obviously wrong with her, that much was clear.

"N-Nothing," Twilight replied, rubbing her head. "It's just that... I didn't know you... Felt that way about me."

"What?"

"I mean, I'm flattered, but there are plenty of other mares who I'd have pegged as a better match for you! Honestly, I don't know what to say!"

Rainbow Dash simply stood there, jaw hanging open.

"Dash..." Twilight turned to her friend, sadness and guilt on her face. "Look, I know how strong these... initial feelings can get, and I respect that. But, to put it simply, I'm just not... into mares."

Rainbow Dash sat down on her haunches, staring at her friend. Twilight had obviously gone crazy. That was the only rational explanation for what she was hearing.

"I hope we can still be friends," Twilight continued. "But it would be unfair of me to try and continue this... relationship when only one of us feels for the other."

"Ooooookay!" Rainbow Dash said suddenly, getting to her hooves. "I'm gonna take a little fly, put some distance between me and Crazy Town, Population: Twilight, and get back to you on that book, okay? Okay."

And with that, Rainbow flew as fast as she could away from her clearly deranged friend and towards a pony she could always count on as a bastion of reason: Fluttershy.

Landing in front of her friend's cottage and gently rapping at her chamber door, Rainbow waited for the mare inside to unlock the seven locks on the inside of the door and swing it slowly outward, looking cautiously around it as she did so.

"Is that that raven again? I thought we talked about this- oh, it's you, Rainbow." Fluttershy said, smiling at the sight of her friend. Her smile quickly disappeared, however, when she took a look at Rainbow's expression.

"Oh my!" she exclaimed. "Are you all right, Rainbow? Come in! Come in!"

"Thanks, Flutters." Rainbow Dash said, running a hoof nervously through her mane and entering her friend's house. "I guess I'm just... confused is all."

"Alright, Dash, things are going to be okay." Fluttershy said, placing a hand on her upset friend's withers. "Just explain what happened, and we'll figure things out, all right?"

"All right." Rainbow Dash said, lying down on Fluttershy's couch. "So I fly into the library, right?"

"Uh-huh." Fluttershy replied.

"And Twilight and I talk about tea, and then I ask if I can borrow her copy of Daring Do and the Sapphire Statue, and she, like, has a seizure or something!"

Fluttershy gasped, her eyes widening, as she flew to the other side of the room.

"You asked what!?" she said.

"Not you too!" Rainbow Dash groaned. "What's going on!?"

"You asked Twilight if you could... Oh my! What did she say!?"

"I dunno, she started going off about how she wasn't into mares, how she was flattered anyway, how she hoped we could still be friends... You know, breakup stuff. Fluttershy?"

Rainbow turned to look at her friend, who was staring at her with an odd mix of pity, anger, and sadness in her eyes.

"Oh, Rainbow Dash!" the yellow mare cried, practically tackling Rainbow Dash with a hug that was tight, yet surprisingly gentle. "I'm so sorry! It must be so hard, being rejected by one of your closest friends!"

"But I wasn't- what?" Rainbow stuttered.

"Believe you me, I'll have a talk with her." Fluttershy said, indignation in her voice. "How rude, just up and rejecting somepony like that! She didn't even bother to be nice about it! How dare she!?"

Rainbow sighed. She knew her friend well, and although these moods were rarer than Discord being polite, she knew they'd pass quickly.

"Fluttershy, have an apple." Rainbow said, rolling her eyes.

"Why!? I'm fine!" Fluttershy replied.

"You get all righteous and offended when you're hungry." was the cyan mare's reply.

"I'm not even-" Fluttershy's words were cut off when Rainbow, taking matters into her own hooves, placed a ripe, juicy apple directly into Fluttershy's open mouth. She bit down, apple juice flooding her mouth, and sighed in ecstasy. Apples, for whatever reason, seemed to calm Fluttershy down more than anything lately.

"Thanks." Fluttershy said, flushing in embarrassment. "Sorry."

"'S cool." Dash replied. "Look, this day has been really weird so far, so I'm just gonna head home and take a nap and hope everything turns out all right."

"All right." Fluttershy said, sitting down on the couch next to her friend. "I'm always here if you need me, although you're taking this really well for a breakup."

"It's not a-" Rainbow began, before sighing. "Look, I just wanted to re-read Sapphire Statue. I don't suppose you have a copy?"

"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy gasped, blushing. "Look, I know getting rejected is hard, but I don't want any feelings you might have for me to be affected by this. Maybe - maybe - once you've gotten over Twilight, we can talk about this, alright?"

"Okay, you've lost me." Rainbow said. "I'm just gonna go home now. Thanks, Flutters."

Once the Pegasus was gone, Fluttershy reclined on the couch and sighed.

"That was... unexpected." she finally said. Angel Bunny, her ever-silent guardian, nodded.

As Rainbow Dash sped through the sky, the wind and height helping to clear her head, she heard a voice call to her.

"Rainbow Dash!"

Phantom pain ran through Rainbow Dash; she knew what it was like to hit a mountain face-first, and she wasn't keen on repeating that mistake. She stopped mid-air and looked down to see Pinkie Pie hopping jovially below her, waving.

Rainbow Dash considered flying on, but decided to stop and chat with her friend for a while. Heck, she might even have a copy of the Daring Do book.

"What's goin' on, Pinks?" Dash asked, landing next to the rose-tinted party pony.

"Nothing much." Pinkie replied. "I was just coming over to your house to see if you wanted to play a prank with me!"

Rainbow Dash thought for a minute, considering Pinkie's offer. A good prank might be just what she needed to get this whole book thing out of her mind.

"Sure!" she replied, grinning mischievously. "Who's it on?"

"Rarity and Applejack are having a little get-together in the park." Pinkie replied. "There are a few decent-sized clouds there; I was thinking we could maybe rain on their parade."

"I dunno, Pinkie." Rainbow said, cocking her head to the side. "Isn't that a little mean for your pranks?"

"Not if the clouds are raining lemonade!" Pinkie replied, grinning widely.

"Lemonade!?"

"I know."

Rainbow banished all thoughts of how in Equestria Pinkie would get lemonade into a cloud and decided to just roll with it. She followed Pinkie, the latter hopping gaily and whistling a cheery tune, until they were at the park. Sure enough, there were Applejack and Rarity, snacking on some carrots and shooting the breeze. Said breeze also carried three moderately large clouds above the heads of the two mares. One of the clouds looked suspiciously yellow.

"How did you even-" Rainbow Dash asked, her eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Cloud seeding." Pinkie replied. "Now get on that cloud and start hopping!"

Rainbow Dash shrugged and did as directed, landing adroitly on the yellow cloud and trotting heavily on it. Her efforts were rewarded by two voices from below.

"What in tarnation?"

"Oh dear!"

Dash smirked at the sound of her two friends getting drenched. Just as expected, the prank had gone off without a hitch.
What Dash didn't expect was for Pinkie to burst out of a nearby bush, wearing a strangely shaped umbrella hat that seemed to have rails along the edges, almost like rain gutters.

"Did somepony call for lemonade?" she called, catching the yellow drops on her hat and funneling the liquid into a cup, which she then proffered to Applejack.

The mares below Dash laughed, and Rainbow Dash couldn't help but crack a smile. Whoever it targeted, a Pinkie Pie prank always left both the pranked and the pranker laughing.

"There's enough for you too, Dash!" Pinkie called. "C'mon down and have some!"

Rainbow Dash flew down to see a drenched Applejack and Rarity, both with yellow-tinted coats and both smiling warmly. She took the glass of lemonade Pinkie offered and sat down next to Applejack.

"So, what is new with you?" Rarity asked, her horn alighting and cleaning her coat, restoring it to its pristine, pearlescent state.

"Nothin' much." Applejack replied. "I harvested some trees, plowed a few fields, churned some butter. You?"

"All I did was visit the spa for a quick massage." Rarity said. "What about you, Rainbow Dash?"

"Twilight and Fluttershy were acting weird today." Rainbow replied. "I asked Twilight if I could borrow a book from her, and-"

Rainbow wasn't fast enough this time. Lemonade coated her from head to tail, leaving her yellow-tinted, drenched, and unhappy.

"She did that." Rainbow said, getting to her hooves.

"You did what now!?" Applejack asked, her eyes wide.

Pinkie Pie had collapsed into shocked, uproarious laughter. Rarity was atop one of her fainting couches, a hoof placed dramatically above her upturned head.

"Wow, Dashie." Pinkie finally said, when she could breathe again. "I knew you liked to have fun with ponies, but I didn't know you liked to have fun with ponies!"

"Ah'm surprised!" Applejack said, running a hoof through her mane. "Ah mean, at the Gala ya seemed to be all over Soarin'. Ah never expected yer barn door ta swing that way, if'n ya get mah meanin'."

Rainbow Dash simply groaned and began flying away.

"You know what?" she mumbled to herself, leaving behind three shocked ponies in a yellow-and-cyan blur. "I'm done with ponies for today. I'm just gonna go home and read."

One shower later, Rainbow Dash lay on her bed, relaxing with a copy of 'Daring Do and the Griffon's Goblet'. A knocking sound came from her door, and Rainbow glared at the entrance to her house.

"Unless you're Scootaloo, go away!" she called.

The door opened to reveal Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy, as well as a still shocked-looking Rarity and a tearful Twilight.

"Cloud-walking spell?" Rainbow said flatly. Fluttershy nodded.

"Rainbow..." Twilight began. "I'm really sorry for how I reacted earlier. It wasn't right of me to be so blunt about... you know."

"No." Rainbow said, getting to her hooves. "I don't know. What are you talking about!?"

"You know..." Pinkie replied, nudging Dash with a hoof. "'Borrowing books'. Wink-wink-nudge-nudge-say-no-more."

"Wait."

"I mean, it was just so sudden!" Twilight said. "You just up and... did that, out of the blue! How was I supposed to respond to somepony asking for... that?"

That was it.
Rainbow was sick and tired of everypony talking like book borrowing was something wrong.

"Asking to borrow a book?" she said, whipping her tail. "Yeah! I asked you if I could borrow a book! And you know what!? I still want to borrow a book, Twilight! Heck, I want to borrow your entire library! I want to sit down with one of your books and read every single page, my eyes flicking from word to word! I wanna pore through chapter after chapter! I want to read an entire series cover to cover! And when I'm done, I'll crack open another book and read that, going so slowly over every page that I couldn't forget the plotline if I tried! I want to devour a novel! I want to sink my teeth into a good mystery! I want to peruse a lovely, sweeping romance! I want to skim an adventure novel! I want to digest some comics! I want to-"

"Rainbow Dash!"

Fluttershy was in front of her now, glaring daggers at her.

"I know you're angry," Fluttershy said. "but this is no way to act! Can't you see how uncomfortable you're making everypony else!?"

Rainbow glanced over at her other friends. Twilight's jaw was practically on the ground, Applejack and Rarity had both collapsed, and Pinkie was rolling on the ground, panting from laughter.

"I know rejection is hard!" Fluttershy continued. "But you're acting like a filly! Now apologize!"

"But-" Rainbow began. Fluttershy cut her off with a Stare that would make a Hydra whimper.

"Apologize."

Rainbow lowered her eyes. She still had no idea what was going on, and now her friends were mad at her. With tears of frustration and sadness in her eyes, Rainbow looked up at her friends a defeated mare and did the only thing left to do.

"I'm sorry." she said quietly.

Then she got into bed and pulled the covers over her head. She just wanted this day to be over.

A hoof prodded her in the back.

"I'm sorry, alright?" she said. "What more do you want?"

"Rainbow Dash." Pinkie said. "Please come out? We have something to tell you."

"No. Go away."

"Rainbow Dash, please?"

"No. I just wanna go to bed and hope everything is all right by morning."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"No!"

"Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty please?"

Rainbow groaned in frustration and sat up, pulling the covers away from her face to reveal four grinning ponies and a sad looking Fluttershy.

"What?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Gotcha!" Pinkie said, hopping up and down.

"What."

"It was all a prank." Twilight said, smiling. "Fluttershy thought of it."

Said mare gave a small 'eep!' and hid behind Applejack, who chuckled.

"Man, y'all should'a seen the look on yer face." she said. "Priceless."

"It was rather fun." Rarity said, giggling. "I can see why you and Pinkie do this so agonizingly often."

"That's why we decided to prank you." Twilight said. "As kind of a 'revenge prank'. Honestly, it was either you or Pinkie, and I don't think it's physically possible to prank her."

There was a long silence.

"You all are jerks." Rainbow Dash said, collapsing back into bed. "Get out of my house."

"Oh, come on, Dash." Pinkie said. "It's not like we hid a dead pony under your floorboards or anything!"

"I don't have floorboards, Pinkie." Dash said. "Now leave. All of you."

As her friends slowly filed out of her room, Pinkie with a call of 'yet!', Rainbow Dash sat up again and called out.

"Fluttershy, you stay."

Her friends shot the yellow mare a concerned look before exiting.

"Oh, I knew we'd taken it too far." Fluttershy said softly, casting her eyes downwards. "I'm so sorry. I never intended for it to get this out of hoof!"

There was a long silence. Confused, Fluttershy looked up to find a hoof in front of her face.

"Don't leave me hangin'." Dash said, smiling.

Fluttershy tentatively hoof-bumped her friend, who sat back in her bed, grinning.

"I'm not mad, Flutters." Dash said. "I'm actually kinda proud! Your first prank, and you decide to prank the master! And it was so convincing, too!"

"You mean all that back there was a prank too?" Fluttershy asked.

"Oh, no. I am ticked at the others, and I'll probably end up avoiding them for the next few days until I can cool off." Dash said, frowning. "But I'm not mad at you. I just wanted to congratulate you is all."

Fluttershy sighed in relief, a small smile making its way onto her face.

"It was pretty good, wasn't it?"

"You bet! Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take another shower. See you around, Fluttershy."

"Bye, Rainbow Dash." Fluttershy said, trotting to the door.

"Wait!" Dash said, stopping her. "If the others ask, I totally read you the riot act, all right?"

"All right." Fluttershy replied, exiting the house.

Rainbow Dash sighed and got out of bed, ready to take a long, relaxing, hot shower. She trotted to her bathroom...

...And her hoof struck something hard.
Rainbow scratched her head and dug through the cloud of her floor to find...

...Floorboards.

Author's Note

So, yeah. This just kinda popped into my head one day.
Hope you enjoy!