Celestia Is Too Heavy

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Random, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Second Person, Comedy, Romance
Length: 1225

After the wedding your wife Princess Celestia wants you to carry her to bed. There's just one problem... she's too heavy.

After the wedding your wife Princess Celestia wants you to carry her to bed.

There's just one problem... she's too heavy.

Published 2015-01-01 16:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-01 16:00:02 UTC

Celestia Is A Heavy Pony

At long last the wedding was over. Why did you a human and a god pony marry? Simple, she had a human fetish and you had a pony fetish, explanation over. It truly was fetish at first sight.

That, and for some strange reason your penis became huge ever since you came to this magical land of cartoon pastel ponies with your reanimated cartoon human body. Maybe, cartoons always get ridiculously massive penises, that were so impossibly good at sex. Thankfully you didn't look like one of those humans from the mirror, the ones that had huge eyes and looked like they were suffering from some horrible skin disease.

As of right now, you were dressed in a fine black tuxedo with your big and sexy bride Princess Celestia at your side, before a beautiful white marble staircase in her palace.

"Take me to bed Anon," she said sexfully while waving her huge butt at you.

"Why of course my sexy god horse," you said sexfully with a nasty grin.

You braced yourself for the task at hand by flexing your fingers, followed by waving your arms wildly and then cracking your knuckles. "Alright… Let’s do this."

You wrapped your arms around her barrel and lifted her… possibly nothing more than an inch off the floor before her sheer weight overwhelmed you, thus forced you to drop her back down on the floor with a loud clop of her hooves.

"Honey, are you alright?" asked her soft angelical voice in concern, as she turned to look back at her human.

"Errr, I’m fine! Just warming up, that’s all."

"Alright. Come on sweetie, carry me to bed."

You lifted her again… well tried to at least, only with the same result.

She snorted in annoyance. "Oh, come on Anon! Surely, you’re stronger now with all the butt fun you've been having with me."

It was true, you are stronger than you used to be. Thanks to all the sex you've had with that massive wonderful butt of her’s. But… it seemed that wasn’t even enough.

You wiped the sweat off your forehead, before you lifted her again. This time with great determination you managed to lift her a few inches off the floor.

"Yes! I knew you could do it!" she shouted in excitement.

You groaned as your arms began to feel painful, just before you dropped her back down again with a loud clop of her hooves.

"I… I can’t do it," you said as you were gasping out of breath.

"Am…. I fat?" she spoke in a low voice.

"No! You’re a beautiful--

"But I’m fat!" she shouted.

"Hey! You’re not fat… you’re a beautiful mare. I’m just weak, because I don’t do enough weight lifting. "

"You’re just saying that to make me feel better! When you know, the reason you can’t lift me is because I’m too fat!" she screamed, tears swelling in her eyes.

You reached your hand out to her, before she slapped it away. "No! I need to lose weight! We’ll bang like no tomorrow when I lose some weight!"

She galloped away from you whilst wailing in grief, you tried to chase after her, but she was far faster than you.

"Celestia, wait! I don’t want you to turn yourself into a skanky mare with no meat on her!" you shouted in a desperate attempt to stop her.

***

Elsewhere, Celestia stormed into her royal kitchen with her eyes glowing bright orange and her mane a blaze with fire, which radiated an intense heat.

"ROYAL CHEFS! she roared in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

The terrified staff shaked in fear before her, some backing away from her or hiding under tables.

"I HEREBY ORDER YOU TO MAKE ONLY LOW FAT FOOD! YOU SHALL NO LONGER BAKE ME CAKES, NOR MAKE ME ICE CREAM OR CANDY, AND NO FATTENING FOOD IN GENERAL!"

"Yes… your majesty," spoke a griffon in a low voice from under a table.

"GOOD!" she shouted as she slammed the door after her as she ran out of the room.

***

You heard your wife’s roaring voice echo down a marble hall as you ran down it.

‘Oh… no. She’s going crazy.’

***

Celestia was now at the top of her castle, where she was aiming a huge cannon, which looked like a 105 howitzer at the sun.

"Sorry, my delicious," she spoke in a low voice as she loaded the cannon with a massive chocolate cake.

She wiped away a tear with her hoof, before she pressed a button and sent the cake hurtling at several quadrillions of times the speed of light toward the sun.

Surprisingly, the canon did not make a sound when it fired the cake into oblivion. Tearfully. Celestia slowly turned her head to look at the many cakes that were behind her, that she was going to destroy in order to help her lose weight for her husband.

"For you, my love," she spoke in a low, broken voice as she magically levitated another huge chocolate cake into the cannon.

Somewhere, some when, or some other universe the great human known as Nicolas Cage shed a tear over this tragedy, where so many chocolate cakes were lost forever.

***

You walked into the kitchen, the staff trembled in fear before you.

"Prince Anon. We have done as your wife requested, we shall no longer make her fattening food," spoke the griffon chef that was still hiding under the table.

"No! You shall continue to make her fattening food! I don’t want my wife to turn into dust and bones!" you shouted angrily.

"But she--

"That’s an order!" you roared.

"Alright. But only, if she requests it."

***

In an ancient room, where old, rusty, dusty exercise machines and weights lay in the room.

Celestia sighed, "I haven’t been in this room since I defeated the dark lord Justin Bieber two thousand years ago."

A single tear fell from her cheek, remembering the evil dark lord Justin Bieber had destroyed humanity of her world, by singing with his horrible voice, that had caused their heads to explode from the sheer terribleness of it. Not only that, but thousands of ponies and innocents alike were killed by this evil cunt.

She stepped forth toward a treadmill, and blew the dust off it, by flapping her wings with a powerful gust of wind. However, just before she stepped onto the platform, she felt a familiar touch on her rump.

"Don’t do it, Celestia. You’re beautiful just the way you are."

She turned to look at you with bloodshot eyes, with tears streaming down them. "But… I’m fat."

"Hey... "you wrapped your arms around her, "I don’t want my sexy pony princess to turn into a bag of bones with no meat on her."

"You… like me being fat?"

"I like meat on my mare."

"Oh Anon, you’re so sweet," she wiped a tear from her eye.

You slapped her big bootylicious butt, which caused her huge, silky soft buttcheeks to jiggle. "I want to take you for a ride."

With that you mounted yourself on her back and she happily trotted out of the gym.

And you gave her a big chocolate cake and had sex.

The End

Author's Note

Made in a rush, as usual.