Liberty Prime Invades- I Mean, Saves Equestria

Liberty Prime Invades- I mean, Saves Equestria

Part One, Death From Above!

“COMMUNIST ENGAGED!”

The Lone Wanderer marched behind the massive shadow of “Liberty Prime”, the Brotherhood of Steel’s secret weapon. Several Knights and Paladins also followed the robot, its shadow keeping them safe from the wasteland’s scorching sun.

In all honesty, he was bored. The robot practically incinerated and dismembered everything that wore a suit of Enclave armor or refused to keep clear of its enormous feet, leaving little for the Wanderer, or anyone else in that matter, to do. Really, the Wanderer had been practically forced to walk all the way there, and with the three hundred pounds of equipment he insisted on carrying around... Actually, he didn’t know why he had all those things in the first place, had it really been that long since he had left the vault? He sighed and made a note on his Pip-boy to remind him to go drop all of his junk down the nearest cliff once this was over.

He watched in mild amusement as the upper half of an Enclave trooper achieved several meters of air, before falling on top of a rock with a loud crack. Five out of ten, he had seen better.

“COMMUNISM IS THE VERY DEFINITION OF FAILURE!” Liberty spouted.

Liberty Prime continued to demolish the Enclave as it made its way to the Satellite Relay station. The air was filled with the guttural screams of the Enclave troopers being torn apart by Liberty’s dual head-mounted energy beams, and the occasional nuke.

He didn’t even know what they were supposed to be doing. Part of that was his fault, since he never actually bothered to listen to anyone. With a low grumble, he sat on a rock and watched as the robot punched a hole into the Satellite station. One of the enormous satellite dishes began to swivel, the rusty pre-apocalyptic engine groaning loudly at the effort.

“SATELLITE UPLINK DETECTED. ANALYSIS OF COMMUNIST TRANSMISSION, PENDING.” An alarm began to echo through the valley, coming from Liberty Prime. “WARNING, WARNING. RED CHINESE ORBITAL STRIKE, INMINENT. ALL PERSONEL SHOULD REACH MINIMUM SAFE DISTANCE, IMMEDIATLY!” The robot flung its arm backwards as it spoke, pointing away from the building. The Knights and Paladins of the brotherhood began to leg it, trying to get as far away from Prime as possible. Meanwhile, the Wanderer sat on his rock, completely unaware of what was happening.

A bright flash lit up his face, followed by several others. He stopped counting grains of sand and looked up. A cloud of dust surrounded the area around Liberty Prime and something could be heard dragging itself across the sand.

As the dust cleared, he saw the broken upper half of Liberty Prime crawling away from a crater almost pitifully. One of its arms was now nothing but a mess of cables and metal, while the other remained intact, the metallic hand clutching the hot sand as Liberty continued to drag itself.

“CATA-STROPHIC S-SYSTEM FAILUUUuure... INITIATING CORE SH-SHUTDOWN AS PER... EMERGENCY INITIATIVE TWO-SIX-EIGHT-TWO-TWO-ZERO-NINE... I-... DIE SO THAT DE-MO-CRACY... LI-... LIVESss...” Liberty Prime's head popped out of its socket and rolled along the sand a good few feet before reaching the feet of one of the Paladin's. Dark oil began to pour out the robot's body from where the head should have been, painting the sand nearby.

All of the members of the Brotherhood watched in awe as the robot spew out its last words. Some of them even took off their helmets, having trouble assimilating the fact that their ultimate weapon had been destroyed.

And the Wanderer? He was happy. Now that Liberty Prime was gone, he could finally do things himself.

First, there was pure whiteness, a place devoid from any life and anything else. Two figures appeared straight from nowhere. One was a tall man with flowing white hair and a beard to match. The other was much shorter, his hair and beard not white, but brown. Both of these men wore white robes and sandals.

“Father, was it really necessary to... end him like that?” the shorter one asked.

The other man scoffed, “Pfft, of course it was! I couldn’t just snatch him from there, it needed to be awesome. And besides, the game would’ve been boring if Liberty just did everything for you.”

“A... game?”

“Oh right, uh... Jesus, son, do you remember what I told you?”

Begrudgingly, Jesus sighed, “Never question God...”

God patted Jesus on the back, “Good boy...” He then rolled up one of his sleeves and stared at a wristwatch that was not there. “Three, two, one...” With a loud pop, a massive robot fazed into existence. It stood idly, its body moving as if it was breathing.

“Alright then, there he is.” The two men watched the robot in silence. All it did was the same breathing motion.

“Oh right, I forgot.” God mentioned, “This thing only has a fifty-four kilo-bit processor!” he said. Placing a finger on his chin he began to reconsider his options. A wild idea popped into his head, and he looked at Jesus, “Son, get me Steve Jobs.”

With a sigh, Jesus snapped his fingers. A dinky cloud of dust surrounded the appearance of a middle aged man holding a glass of wine and wearing nothing but a speedo. His skin was oily and on his back sat a pair of feathered wings and a tattoo of a half-eaten apple.

“-and so then I- HEY!” the man shouted.

God chuckled, “Sorry Stevie, but I need your help with this one.”

“What? Are you kidding me? You’re expecting me to help you after what you’ve done to me? You just plucked me out of my own heaven! And you killed me! I mean, I could have been hit by a car, but Pancreatic Cancer!? PC!? Seriously!?” God laughed hard while Steve Jobs continued his tantrum. He wiped a tear off of his eye and it fell into the white floor, where flowers and other types of lesser vegetation began to grow.

“Oh Steve, I never get tired of you! Now come on, I don’t have all eternity... Actually, I do, but that’s beside the point.” God wrapped his arm around Steve’s neck and pointed towards Liberty Prime. “You see that big robot over there?”

“Yes. Its hard to miss actually...”

“Right... I need you to make it sentient.”

Steve turned and looked at God, frowning. “What? Can’t you do that yourself?”

“Yes, yes I can, but I want to see what you can do. Now get to work, before I throw you back on earth and give you cancer again.” God lightly pushed Steve closer to the robot. Steve grumbled and unfurled his wings, flying circles around it.

“Alright, I have an idea...” he said as he took out an i-god from his speedo. “This should do it.” He flew around it until he came upon the robot’s equivalent to a pair of buttocks. With a light tap of Steve’s finger, the i-god lit up. Steve huffed and snapped his fingers, causing a small hatch to open. He looked at the device and shrugged, before ramming it into the hatch.

“YAUGH!” Liberty Prime yelped and rubbed his back end. He looked around the white void that surrounded him, and then back down at the three men.

“... WHERE AM I?”

God snapped his fingers, and Liberty Prime disappeared. He turned to look at Steve with a bright smile upon his face, “Alright, thank you Stevie!”

“Whatev-” before he could finish, God snapped his fingers and Steve Jobs disappeared as well. Now it was just him and Jesus standing in the never ending white void.

“So, where did you send him?” Jesus asked.

God chuckled, “To the magical land of Equestria, of course! They could use another one of those ‘crossover’ fanfiction thingies.”

Jesus sighed, “Never question God...”

Applejack unstrapped herself from the small cart she used to haul apple's around the farm, and then toppled it over to unload all of the red fruit onto one of the many crates inside her barn. She wrapped her foreleg around her hat and took it off, using it to wipe a bead of sweat from her brow.

It was AppleBuck season once again. True, Big Macintosh was available this time, but it didn't make the work that much easier, even if she wouldn't admit it. Her muscles were sore and she felt hot... Maybe she could spare a couple minutes to go and fetch a cup of cold cider?

"....aaaaAAAAAAAPPLEEEJAAAAACK!!!!!!" She froze in place. The sound of Apple Bloom's frantic little hoofsteps faintly reached her ears, joined in by a high-pitched call for help. It took less than a second for her instincts to kick in, telling her to gallop out of the barn to protect her sister.

She got out of the barn and ran into her sister. Apple Bloom was panting and her eyes were wide, her coat dusty and her mane disheveled.

"What in tarnation is goin' on, Apple Bloom!? What happened?" she asked, looking over her sister and making sure she wasn't injured.

Apple Bloom flailed her hooves in the air, "Ah- The- Apple- Tree- Huge- thing!" she said in between breaths.

Applejack grabbed her by the shoulder and shook her, "Calm down!"

"Sis'! You gotta come see this!" Apple Bloom bit on to Applejack's hair and began dragging her towards the orchards.

"Ouch! Okay okay!" She got the filly to stop pulling her hair, and ran after her.

The two trekked through Sweet Apple Acres, heading towards something only Apple Bloom knew about. Applejack had to admit, it was somewhat tiresome to follow her, even in the physical condition that years of farm work had gifted her with. She briefly wondered what exactly it was that her sister got all riled up about, after all, the filly and her friends were known to over exaggerate things every now and again.

They approached an area of the orchard in which several trees looked like they had been blown back. "See! Here it is!" Applejack's jaw dropped. One the middle of the clearing was a crater in which lay an enormous machine made only of dark and somewhat rusty metal.

"What is this...?" Applejack slowly trotted towards the machine, leaving Apple Bloom behind. It was sprawled out on the crater, not doing any motion at all. She gingerly brought a hoof up and touched it.

"REBOOTING SYSTEMS!"