Applejack stared at the wall, the apple red barn wall. She waited for it to fall over her, all she wanted to was laying there and watch the roof and walls fall over her. It was her dream, a drem of death. She had been close to death before, death's embrace was cold, almost comfortable cold. It was a relaxing feeling, soft, comfortable, welcoming. The last time Applejack had felt death's embrace was when she tried to drown herself in a river. Unfortunately for her, Big Mac had found her limb body and taken her to the hospital.
Applejack turned around in her bed of hay, the sound oh moving hay was just another sign that she was still alive. Applejack closed her eyes and sighed. "Why couldn't he jus' have left me?" She asked out loud. A small tear escaped her eye, she wanted to cry, but she was almost empty of water.
Sighing again, Applejack sat up in the hay. She stood up on four legs and shaked off the hay, when the hay was off she used her hoof to dry away her tear. She began to walk toward the door, she stopped in her tracks when she looked at a small gun on a table on the side of the barn. They didn't use the gun, they only used weapons to scare off pones that wanted to buy their farm. She glared at the gun, hoping that it would move and shoot her.
Resisting to just grap the gun, she ran toward the door. As she opened the door she took one last look at the gun. She just managed to close the door and leave.
Applejack walked away from Sweet Apple Acers, a large wagon with apples was strapped around her back. It was her turn to sell apples in ponyville. She didn't feel like she wanted, but she can't get what she want everytime. As she walked outof the gate and entered the dirt road to ponyville.
As she walked she started at the ground lost in thoughts. Her thoughts wander around her suicide and death. The sound of water running made her look at the river. The memory of her try of drowning, returned to her. She sniffed as she remembered how angry and shocked Mac and Granny had been on her.
Applejack had forced herself to not put her head in the water, she manged to get to ponyville. As she looked at the town ponies, they were happy. They enjoyed their life.
That feeling was like a knife stabbing her in the side. She felt jealous, she wanted what they had. Not able to take anymore, she ran home. She needed to end this, she needed to end herself. It was not like she would be missed. They only used her when it was something they couldn't do themself. For Applejack it felt like they were just lazy and didn't want to do the hard work herself.
As she came into her farm, she ran into Big Mac. The worried look on her face turned on some alarms in his head.
"AJ? Something wrong?" He asked.
"No! Nothing!" She yelled. Then she ran off to the barn and locked the door.
Big Mac who wasn't bad at reading others, took off to find her friends. He found them all in the new castle. He knocked on the door, it opened by Twilight.
"Hello Big Mac, what brings you here?" She asked.
"Mah sister.... AJ... Trouble... Your help" he said as he panted hard.
"Let's go!" She said and the six took off to the farm.
When they came to the barn, they found the door locked. "AJ? Open the door!" Mac commanded his sister, nothing happened. He became sceard and angry. He broke though the door. They gasped as they saw Applejack holding a gun to her head. Her face was turned toward the wall, they couldn't see her face.
"Applejack... Put the gun down..." Twiligt said carful but firm.
"Or what?" Applejack asked not turning, not moving.
"Just please..." She begged.
"Ya don't know what it's like..." Applejack said.
"AJ don't let me go through this again, it was bad enough the first time. But at least ya lived!" Mac cried in fear.
"This world doesn't need me... Ah am useless..." She said.
Twilight took a step forward. The sound of hay moving behind Applejack made her press on the trigger. Twilight stopped.
"Think about us! Think about your family! Think about Apple bloom!" Twilight said.
"Ah know ya'll will get bored of me, mah family will die sooner or later... Apple bloom... Is better without me." She said pressing a little more on the trigger.
"We won't get bored of you, why did you get that idea?" Rarity said finally getting out of the shock.
"Yeah! Who will be my best buddy and who will I have awsome contests with?" Rainbow said.
Applejack loosen the grip on the trigger, but quickly pushing on it again.
"You know what will happen to pinkie!" Twilight said, the party pony's hair had already started to flatten.
Finally Fluttershy came back from the shock. "We need you Applejack." She took a step forward, Applejack didn't push on the trigger. It was something with the pegasus that made her calm down. "You are the pony we can all come to with our problems." She took another step. "You are always there, and now it's our turn." She took another step. "But we can't be there for you if you pull that trigger." Applejack had almost taken her hoof off the hole gun. Fluttershy only had about two more steps. "We don't know what's it like to be you, but if you open youself to us" another step. "we can help you" fluttershy was just behind Applejack, she carefully and slowly lifted the gun out of her friends hoof. Applejack let it happen. "We will be here for you, and now, we will help you." Fluttershy turned Applejack's body around, the others gasped as they saw the cuts on her arms, legs, belly and face. Fluttershy lifted her hoof to Applejack's cheek. Applejack let her head fall into the touch.
"Ah. Ahm sceard... Ahm sceard Fluttershy..." She cried, small tears fell from her face.
"I know you are, but leavin this world are not the answer. It only cause more sorrow." She said, she pulled Applejack into a hug. She also let Applejack cry out.
"Ahm sorry... Ahm so sorry..." She cried.
"You have nothing to be sorry for" Fluttershy said. She broke the hug and looked at the scars. "Let's get the scars cleaned" Applejack nodded painfully.
The others had backed away a little when they saw Fluttershy have control.
They went inside, Fluttershy helped Applejack get her scars patched. The others sat at a table in the other room talking about what happened. As Fluttershy and Applejack sat in the room, Fluttershy hugged Applejack tight. They also talked a little
"How did ya know what to do?" Applejack asked.
"I've been there before." She said and showed Applejack some old scars on her front hoof. "A friend stopped me from shooting, she said the same thing I did to you" she started to patch another scar. "Do know who that pony was?" Applejack shook her head. "It was you."
Author's Note
Sorta true story...
