The Wish My Heart Made

by Arreis Of Avalon

Rating: teen
Tags: Queen Chrysalis, Other, Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sad, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike
Length: 2745

Chrysalis tries to make up for what she's done, even if nopony knows it. But what happens when she's found out?

Chrysalis tries to make up for what she's done, even if nopony knows it. But what happens when she's found out?

(Two endings, one will be far far more heartbreaking - hence the tragedy tag. Based on the video 'If I Were A Pony', which can be found on youtube, and is unrelated to my other changeling fanfiction(s).)

Published 2015-01-02 07:30:08 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-03 05:43:24 UTC

Dying Wishes

I stood on shaking hooves. It was all around me - the blackness. Those were my people. My race, being thrown carelessly into the ground. Half were dead. The other half were wounded. They formed a blackness around me, one I could never escape. I had failed. My blood dripped from wounds all over my body. My head was filled with delirium and dizziness. I just… I had never meant any of this… Why had this happened?

I tried to take a step and failed. My hoof slipped against the rocky ground as I tried to take a step. I fell back into the crater my body had formed, into the pool of my own blood. There was so much pain in my body… It hurt, so very much. Not a physical hurt. At least, not one I thought of as a physical pain. My wounds burned, yes, but not as much as my heart and my head. My head throbbed as I thought of my hive. My heart yearned for their trust which I had lost. How… How had I lost it?

I opened my eyes. The sun was setting in the Badlands. Changelings fell around me in a cloudless rain of bodies. Most were dead before they hit the ground. I watched as the sun gracefully set. It was Celestia that set it, wasn’t it? I had never really realized that before. The sunset I had watched as a child had always been hers. I watched as she set the sun as she always had, and stars began to flicker to life in the night sky.

My eyes began to shut as I watched the stars come out. They look so beautiful… If I died, here and now, I would never have to go back again. I would never have to see my race, my people, see their broken hearted faces again. I wouldn’t have to see them starving. Dying. Hating me for being so inept.

Blackness filled my eyesight. Tears rolled down my face. In my delirium, I heard but a single thought.

If I were a pony, would things be different?

My eyes snapped open. If I were a pony? Why would I think such a thing?...

And yet…

I groaned as I stood once again. My eyes had hardened into a glare, my mouth into a grimace from the pain. This was my last chance, wasn’t it? If I did this, I might be able to get enough love to feed those few who remain. If it failed, who cares? They’d kill me anyways.

I struggled to walk. It’d be hell to try and get back to Ponyville. I didn’t even think of attempting Canterlot yet. Maybe I wouldn't even touch it. I was just looking to survive, now, even if it meant blasphemy.

My footing faltered after but a few steps. I nearly fell, but as I heard another collision beside me of some of the final changelings, I felt a surge of strength. Like I just had a… meal.

I stood taller, more tears rolling down my face as I realized what was going on. I took a deep breath and kept walking as, slowly, my subjects died. They died, and in their dying breaths, they gave me what little they can: their love.

I struggled, certainly. I teleported some along the way, using what little magic remained in me. The more I passed by those dying, the more strength came my way. One changeling helped me walk at one point. He collapsed after an hour. I tried to help him, but… As his heart gave way, I felt a larger surge than ever. He had loved me to the point of a subject, always and completely loyal to his queen.

I continued to ignore the tears as I walked away from his harvested corpse.

I walked so very far. I feasted on the love of birds as they flew by, and of the plants. Plants can love as well. There was so little to feed on. The holes in my body widened, and my ribs began to show. I coughed up blood more than once. But still, for days, I continued.

Until I finally found grass. My body was so worn and mind so lost to my singular goal, I almost didn’t believe it when I saw it. I kept walking. The grass was sparse, but the lands were growing more fertile. I fed off the plants more, utterly malnourished. But, one day, I neared a settlement. I knew as I felt it - another surge of love. I stole it as I had all other along the way. So one household had an argument one day. I was starving…

I finally grew strong enough, after a week of stealing, to change. I had longed for this development for days now… In a burst of flame, I shifted to my most basic form - a white earth filly with green hair, exactly like my own. I knew I had stunning green eyes, but they would be dull now, matching my hair. I looked at my flank to see a lackluster heart gem, mirroring the last image I had copied. I also noticed my ribs were showing badly, as though I had not eaten in months. I groaned in pain as I began to walk into the village.

Ponies began to see me. They began to whisper amongst themselves. I realized I couldn’t see very well. They all seemed to blend in with one another.

I coughed. There was blood on my hoof when I wiped away the saliva. I looked up to see a pony galloping towards me. I knew it was a pony. That was all I knew as I blacked out.

*~*~*~

I coughed weakly as I opened my eyes. I was in… a rather comfortable bed… My chest was bandaged, and there was a warm bowl of soup beside me. Where was I?

I listened closely. There was someone outside the dim room, speaking. Two ponies, it sounded like. A male and female. “We can’t jus’ let her starve,” the male was saying.

“I don’ care, Braeburn! She wandered outta’ the Badland territory. We can’t keep her here! Ponies’ll be talking...”

“I ain’t sayin’ we keep her here forever, Fritter! Applejack’s a day’s out. I’m sure she’s got room at the farm…”

“Alrigh’... She up yet?”

I quickly tried to duck beneath the covers. The stallion peeked in. I must not have hidden well enough. “Miss? Y’awake?”

I sat up a bit, groaning as I did. My body ached. “I… Yes.” My voice sounded far different. Sweeter. It sounded… foreign.

“Here, y’need some help?...” He trotted over and sat next to me. I shied away from him, until he held up the bowl of soup. I sniffed at it - it smelled delicious. I might not need food, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome… “Here y’all are… We’ll be movin’ you to a place where there’s a real doctor an’ all. My cuz’ lives there. Y’all will be in good hooves.”

I sipped the soup tenderly, feeling it warm me up. I got a small surge of love from the meal; ‘cooked with love’, I suppose. I smiled gratefully. “T-Thank you…”

He smiled, but it quickly faded as surprise overtook his expression. "Why, I haven't introduced myself yet. Pardon my manners, Miss. I'm Braeburn. What’s your name?”

“M-My name?...” I thought. He said his cousin was that pony, Applejack, earlier… She knew me. I needed a name, and fast… “I’m… Call me Crystal… Crystal Flower.”

He didn’t seem to suspect anything from my slight hesitation. Foal. “Alrigh’, Crystal. Get some rest, now, and jus’ call if y’need anythin’.” I nodded, feeling another bit of love. This stallion was very kind, even though I was a stranger. I smiled. How… nice. It’s a new feeling, niceness. But it didn’t matter much. He trotted out.

I shut my eyes, sighing. I fell asleep quickly, my exhaustion overtaking me. For some reason, I dreamt of blue feathers. That was all; just a few, deep blue feathers. In the morning, the dream faded. It was of no matter, however; there was more soup to eat.

Author's Note

Wow, churned that out surprisingly quickly. I got a message on 'I Am Your Servant' requesting a new fanfiction. I just had to oblige, after watching the source of the request!
So, here it is, after just an hour of working xD Enjoy!

Edit: This chapter has now been edited by yours truly so that the tenses match.

Tender Loving Care

I was sipping delicious soup whenever the time came for me to leave. I was feeling much better, at least. My ribs were poking through my skin still, and I was horribly skinny, but my eyes had gotten back a bit of that gleam they once had. The soup and the ponies caring for me certainly helped, of course. Their love felt so very good, and it tasted lovely. Almost with a hint of apples. How peculiar.

The stallion named Braeburn trotted into my room. I sat up, smiling kindly at him - that was what I was trained to do in this situation. Act friendly. Siphon off as much love as you can without everypony murdering everypony else. Survive. It was hard, but I knew I could do it. For my race. “Hello,” I said, my voice still a bit raw after sleeping so long.

“Glad t’see you up and happy,” he said, smiling back. “I thought for sure you’d be in more pain. Y’have loads of cuts on your chest… Mind tellin’ me how you got those? And why y’were in the Badlands?”

I gulped, looking away. How was I going to respond to that? If he didn’t trust me, there was no way he would let me go with his cousin. “I-I…”

Braeburn sighed. “I know it’s gonna hurt to remember. Y’seem like y’went through something mighty tragic out there.” I glanced at him and nodded hesitantly - that one wasn’t even a lie. He smiled softly. “Y’don’t have to tell me.”

What? “I-I don’t?” I asked, utterly confused.

“No, you don’t. You’ll say what happened t’you in good time. My cousin Applejack knows how to protect herself… I don’t think you’re gonna hurt us anytime soon, though. I think you jus’ need some love.”

I jumped at his words and looked down. “No need t’be surprised. Y’seem like the type who needs somepony to look after ‘em.” He gently put his hoof on my shoulder. I flinched away from the touch - nopony had touched me like that in a long time. Changelings avoided touching me in any way to avoid offense. I had managed to stay away from it as Cadance. It was a foreign feeling to me, just as foreign as my voice and this… niceness. He pulled his hoof back, his face full of sorrow. “Somethin’ or somepony hurt you real bad… I jus’ hope y’can get better with time.”

He stood, smiling. “Applejack’ll be here soon. You jus’ rest up now, y’hear?” Without another word, he walked out.

I glanced at the soup. For a full day, these ponies fed me. They kept me here, not knowing who I was, or what had happened to me. I can’t tell if they are foolish or just… better than I. I would never allow a pony in my hive… but they would let a stranger in theirs. Was this simply another thing I had to learn? Another aspect of my new plan, my new salvation?

My eyes began to droop. I found myself so tired as of late. I yawned as I settled myself back down into my pillows. I slept again, and dreamt again.

I never had many dreams as a queen. I dreamt of ruling. I dreamt of the crown, and of having a full race. My dreams now confused me.

I stood alone in a sea of blackness. There was an alabaster mare in the distance, with green hair and a rose in her slightly curled mane. She looked somewhat like I did in pony form, but… she looked so happy. So natural. I tried to reach out for her. She turned and smiled. She waved and called me over. I tried to get closer, but suddenly, something fell in front of my face. I caught it in my magic and looked close. Another blue feather.

I looked up again. The mare was gone. I was back in my hive. My people were not hungry. They smiled like the mare did. I smiled too.

*~*~*~

I started awake as the train hit another bump. How long had I been asleep? WasI still safe?

My heart was pounding a mile a minute as I looked around frantically, panicked. I tried to remember what happened, and as I thought, I slowly calmed down. That’s right. Braeburn had helped me to the train station after I woke up from another weird dream. I had met Applejack and hadn’t said much. She had brought me to a back cabin where there was a bed. That’s where I was now…

I sighed softly as I relaxed. Why were these ponies so nice to each other? I had done nothing for them. I simply didn’t understand it. It was hard to trust such unadulterated kindness. I wondered, why? Why was it so foreign? Are my people really so… so evil? So unkind and brash?

I shook my head. I shouldn’t think that about my own race. After all, I’d be a bit hypocritical to think I was any better. I’m a changeling; nothing will ever change that. And us changelings are not unkind. We simply follow different rules and structures. A certain kind of harshness comes from having your only food source be stolen love.

But, I must admit… It was a tad bit nice for this change of pace…

I jumped again as the cabin door slid aside. Did nopony give warning when they entered a room? Applejack trotted in hesitantly. “Oh, you’re awake! I jus’ wanted t’tell you, we’ll be in Ponyville soon. We got a nice bed up in the barn for you. I know, the barn, but it’s the best room we got. Braeburn was a might bit silly, thinkin’ we had more room…”

I nodded softly, shying away from her just as I had with Braeburn. Around the Element of Harmony, I felt… uneasy. What if she figured me out and used her powers? I had never truly seen them in action… but I had heard stories. Discord, Nightmare Moon… I really didn’t want to be next. A hit from them could easily be my last.

Applejack smiled a bit ruefully as she saw me edge away, sighing softly. “Sorry this is all happenin’ so fast. Braeburn just thought it’d be nice t’get you in a place where y’could have some ponies lookin’ after you. Appleloosa doesn’t have any hospitals or any of that sorta thing, so he called me up and asked me t’take you. I was happy to!”

“W-why,” I asked before I could stifle the question. Damn this accursed curiosity.

“Knew you’d say somethin’ eventually! An’ what d’you mean, ‘why’? Braeburn said y’were hurt. I wasn’t about t’let somepony go without proper medicine!” She chuckled. “Dunno how y’were raised, but my family ain’t gonna let somepony in your condition wander around willy nilly without the right kinda care.”

I smiled softly at her display of pride. Finally, something familiar. “T...Thank you…”

“Aw, no thanks needed, Sugar. I’m just glad t’help.” She gently smoothed the bedsheets where my hooves were before returning to the door. “Like ah said, we’ll be there soon. If y’want, y’can come up into the other cabin and chat with me. I’m always happy for the company!” She tipped her hat and trotted out.

I watched her go, sighing. Again, an example of their kindness. I didn’t think I’d ever understand how nice these ponies are…

But as I stood and straightened the bed, I realized I was taking her up on that offer of company into this new world… and I started to have a little hope.

Author's Note

Second chapter, already! Can't believe this hit the popular tag in just one day! <3 Thank you, you all!!

Edit: This chapter was edited for tense by yours truly!