Today, I felt like writing something. Not a show, or a performance, or a list of jokes but something else. Something that's been beating in my heart for quite some time now. My name is Beatrix Lulamoon, (the great and powerful Trixie) and I love Twilight Sparkle. This is not news but I've been asked before how I came to be where I am with Twilight. How it went from rivalry to romance. They asked if there are moments where I regret what I've done and who I am or us being together. Those scary little breath taking moments of self doubt where the world turns black and your lungs seize up. When you realize that your life is made up of choices- of coincidence and happenstance and only through sheer improbable luck, that you've ended up where you are today.
Of course there are moments and those are the things I treasure most. You have to take the bad with the good, but it's the good moments you hang on to. The good moments you squeeze onto. The good moments you spend your whole life waiting for, because it's the good moments where you live your life.
Oh, don't get me wrong; we've had our fights. Oh yes, we've had our screaming matches and our temper tantrums. We've had our days where we've been at each others throats, and the last thing we wanted was to hear another word from the other. Those apocalyptic days-want to go our separate ways-can't remember why we stay-days. Where her insufferable studying is akin to the venom of my grin. That smug little smile that gets on her nerves to no end, only toppled by endless lectures of literature that's poison to my ears. But...
But all that fades away to moments within a day, where the world stops just long enough for me to say: "I love you."
When we're sitting back to back and the library is empty and quiet, and the only sound that breaks the deafening silence is the turn of a page. Studying long hours into the night, every now and then she'll reach around and scratch her hooves along my back. Just to let me know that somewhere in the hurricane of knowledge she was sweeping into her consciousness, I was in there too. That sliver of a second of an instant where everything makes sense before it's gone and you go back to reading. That moment is worth one thousand lifetimes.
Or the tea I'll set down next to her in the early afternoon while she's reading. It'll remain untouched until night fall, when the heat has turned to cold, and time has long since sucked the flavor away. And she'll drink it down anyway- just because I made it for her. Just because I was thinking of her and she was thinking of me. And late in the night, I'll notice the empty mug where she's fallen asleep at her desk. I'll wrap a blanket around her, and kiss her on the horn. She'll wake up in the morning, and the moment she sees that blanket, is the moment she'll hang on to.
And the next day we'll argue. We'll fight and scream and throw verbal punches and metaphorical kicks. Tender will turn to tough and our hearts will walk a tight rope on the precipice of hate. We'll bark and bite, glare and growl and each word like a sword will strike a million nerves before we wake up and realize what we're saying. And it hurts like fire in your veins. Because it came from her. And it came from me.
But hard as it is, and much as it hurts, we need those moments too, because those moments lead to truth. That moment when you realize what you've done and everything just stops. Those perfect moments of horrifying clarity.
Where I'll swallow my pride and find that place deep down inside where I can admit that I'm wrong. Or she'll sneak up behind me and surprise me with a hug and a nuzzle and everything will be all right. And we'll linger there for eternity in the moment where love is the only sound around and the universe holds its breath, waiting for that kiss. Oh, we've kissed a million times before and we'll kiss a million more, but each time is still like the first. Lip to lip contact that bursts with emotion and every flavor of every feeling I have for this other mare, and she has for me. Those are the moments where I know magic- true magic- exists. The magic between us that can't be found in any text, or described with any words.
Those magic moments where life is everything you've ever hoped it would be and it comes and goes in a fleeting second, but just long enough for you to squeeze and hold. The moments that sneak up and surprise you. When you're lying side by side and crushing the divide that turns two ponies into one. When you help put away groceries only to find your favorite chocolates in the bag. The ones you didn't ask her to buy but the ones she bought because she knows you. The silly songs that break out in the middle of the library, when she's humming a tune stuck in her head, and you add words to it, even if you make them up as you go along. And then there's that smile. That world stopping, head turning, great and powerful smile.
Celestia that smile. It's like ten thousand stars lighting up the sky at once, just for me. It's perfect. That smile in that moment.
That moment that I know: I'll always love her.
Author's Note
It's 7:26 am. Lady Rarity can't sleep. Don't know why this popped into my head, but here it is none the less. This kind of turned into some poetry there. What do you guys think of the rhyming? Does it add to the story, or subtract?
