Why the hell did I write this
Pony in Parapsrite
Written & Edited by Seven81493
“I’m sure you know why I’ve called you here today, my most special pupil.”
“Define ‘special’,” Twilight Sparkle replied snarkily to her mentor. Though lately, Celestia had become more of her torturer.
Celestia chuckled, but decided not to answer that. “I’ve called you here to test our latest—”
“Forget it, I’m not drinking anything else you offer me!”
“But Twilight, this one has been—”
“No! Over the course of just one month, I’ve grown wings, lost those wings, and had horns grow all over my body. I am done testing anything you make. If you care so much, then test it yourself!”
“But it’s lemon lime flavor, you know how much I hate that…”
“L-lemon lime?” Twilight asked, suddenly interested. It was no mystery that Twilight loved that flavor more than anything, and she had fallen right into Celestia’s trap. “What kinds of side effects do they think it will have?”
“I have my top scientists working on it,” Twilight rolled her eyes at ‘top scientists’. Celestia sure seemed to love saying that phrase. “The only known side effect is that it may cause slight indigestion.”
“T-that’s it?” Twilight wasn’t sure whether or not to believe it. She had, after all, fallen victim to other beverages made by Celestia’s ‘top scientists’. Sometimes she wondered if this was just a sick game Celestia played with her scientists to see how weird they could make their drinks.
The likelihood of this drink not having any adverse side effects, she realized, was less than one percent. “Yes, Twilight. My top scientists have been working on it for just over… eleven hours?”
“Eleven hours?! B-but you can’t expect me to drink something that’s only been in development for less than half a day!”
“Lemon lime,” Celestia replied simply, and Twilight could do nothing to argue back. “I assure you, this beverage is perfectly safe to drink.”
Letting out a sigh of defeat, Twilight took a seat in one of Celestia’s study chairs. “Bring it in, I guess.”
“You can bring it in now, Clip!” Celestia shouted at the door, which opened after a few moments. Walking in was a pony with a tray, and Twilight couldn’t help but look at the object on top of it. This was the drink she was supposed to test? It certainly didn’t look bad, but that wasn’t saying much.
“What’s it called?” the purple pony asked as it was set down in front of her. The bottle was clear, and so was the liquid inside. The design was green and yellow, obviously due to the flavor.
“We’ve decided to call it ‘Sprite’,” Twilight raised her brow at this. “I think it’s an odd name for such a drink as well, but my scientists insisted for some reason.”
“Surely they’ve done something nefarious with it and don’t want me to know.”
“Honestly, Twilight, it’s just a drink!” Celestia exclaimed, knowing herself how hollow the words sounded coming from her.
“You know just as well as I do that anything your ‘top scientists’ make is certainly not just a drink. They’re up to something, I just know it!”
“I assure you, Twilight, there’s nothing wrong with it.”
Celestia’s words fell on deaf ears however, and Twilight kept ranting. “Honestly, all your scientists seem to be good at is making drinks that piss me off!”
“Lemon lime.”
“URGH!” Twilight grunted in frustration before grabbing the bottle off of the table. Unscrewing the cap, she took a tentative sip of the drink. Surprised by how pleasant it tasted, she managed a smile for the first time in weeks. Then, without warning, she began chugging the bottle. The taste was possibly the best she’d ever had grace her tongue, and she couldn’t stop herself from downing all of it within just a few seconds.
Celestia watched as Twilight slammed the bottle down on the table, stunned that Twilight had done such a thing. “So… how was it?”
“It was the best drink I’ve ever had in my entire life, that’s how it was!” Twilight exclaimed, a huge smile on her face. “Do your scientists have any more bottles of it?!”
“Sorry, but that was the only bottle available for testing, Twilight. However, I feel that you should know something.”
At that, Twilight froze in place, her mouth being the only thing to move. “What, uh, what is it?”
“You’re likely going to pass out and wake up as a different organism entirely within about one minute,” she stated bluntly, causing Twilight’s jaw to hit the floor.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN I’M GOING TO TURN INTO A DIFFERENT ORGANISM?! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO GO WRONG!”
“Twilight, calm down. I just wanted to see if such a thing was possible. You should turn back into a pony within a year.”
“A YEAR?! WHAT AM I EVEN TURNING INTO?!”
“Shh, shh, shhhhhh, everything will be okay, Twilight.”
“I feel… light headed, princess.”
“I know, Twilight, I know. That’s the chloroform we put in the Sprite taking effect…”
At that, everything went black for Twilight.
Jolting awake, Twilight found herself in Celestia’s bed. Looking around, she finally spotted Celestia sitting next to her. “C-celestia?”
“Oh, you’re awake. How are you feeling, Twilight?”
“I feel fine, actually. I had a really weird dream.”
“Oh?”
“You gave me some drink that made me grow wings, then gave me a drink that took them away. But it replaced the wings with tons of horns all over my body. That was definitely a weird experience, to say the least. And... after that, I came to your castle and you gave me another one called Sprite. I chugged the entire bottle and then everything went black.”
“And then you woke up?” Celestia asked, to which Twilight nodded. “Well I’m sorry to tell you this, but all of those things really happened, Twilight. You’re a parasprite now.”
“B-but WHY?!”
“For the pun, Twilight. For the pun.”
“I’LL KILL YOU!”
Author's Note
So yeah, this is my first story since I decided to come back and write some more stuff. It's definitely not as good as the first two, but hey, sequels get tougher and tougher every time, even if they're as dumb as these.
I mainly wrote this for my friend Carolyn, who loves Sprite (I was gonna do Sierra Mist, but that was too hard). Anyways, hope you guys enjoyed it. If not, oh well, I guess you can't please everyone.
