Pony's Island

Chapters

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Epilogue
Chapter 5

Chapter 1

Chapter 1: A Storm, a Ship, and a Plot-hole Portal

The waves crashed over the bow of the S.S. Minnow, making the ship sway. Gilligan had just made sure the passengers were comfortable and safe below deck. He stepped onto the deck and dashed to aid the Skipper, who was desperately trying to control the wheel. As Gilligan flew across the deck he caught his foot in a bucket. Thump… Clank… Thump… Clank reverberated across the S.S. Minnow. The Skipper was clinging to the ship’s wheel attempting the impossible, to save the S.S. Minnow from the imminent danger.

“Skipper, don’t worry, I’m here to help.” Gilligan said as he tripped over the awkward bucket. Glaring at the unwanted burden on his foot, Gilligan started tugging at the bucket, trying to loosen it.

“Oh, never mind that Gilligan, you’ll just foul up whatever orders I give you, like turning the ship port instead of starboard. If you knew the difference, we’d be back in Honolulu, safe, instead of out in this storm.” The Skipper bellowed, red in the face. He was barely audible over the roar of the storm. Gilligan frowned. He tried all he could to help the Skipper but he would just mess it up. He looked at the Skipper sheepishly.

“I’m sorry Skipper. Could you just give me one more chance? I promise won’t mess up again this time. What do you say?” Gilligan pleaded.

As a huge wave hit the side of the Minnow the Skipper looked at him, a vein pumping in his forehead and hollered in a hoarse voice, “If I give you one more chance I’ll be dead!” Gilligan wilted like a flower in Death Valley and then jumped as a massive lightning bolt split the sky. The Skipper peered desperately into the darkness ahead as the light from the lightning bolt faded and his face turned pale.

He said in a low, frightened voice, “Gilligan, do you see what I see?”

Gilligan looked at him and said, “Skipper! And you think I’m silly? This is no time for Christmas carols!”

Skipper turned to him, face red and said, “A reef Gilligan! If we don’t turn about we’ll wreck the ship! Throw the anchor out!” Gilligan bent over and huffed and puffed as he heaved the anchor up. He collapsed and the anchor pinned him down. The Skipper hunched over Gilligan and lifted the anchor off of him. Then Gilligan threw the heavy weight off the side of the ship.

The Skipper grabbed his first mate’s arm and said, “Gilligan, now throw out the other anchor… with the rope attached this time!”

Gilligan hoisted the other anchor up onto his shoulder. The Skipper looked back at Gilligan, even more pale this time. Gilligan looked forward, turned as white as a sheet, dropped the anchor onto the Skipper’s foot, (causing the Skipper to well, act like the Skipper) and leaped into the Skipper’s arms. The S.S. Minnow was headed straight for a gigantic, white wall. The Skipper and Gilligan screamed as the S.S. Minnow entered the blank expanse of nothingness.

All of a sudden, gravity seemed to become nonexistent. The anchor floated by Gilligan’s head. Gilligan looked at Skipper and said, “To bad we couldn’t do that when we were trying to throw the anchor overboard.”

As they glanced side to side they could see what looked like windows to other worlds. Gilligan looked to his left to see someone writing on a strange, flat typewriter. The title of the document she was writing said Pony Island.

Strange, Gilligan thought, why would someone write a story about islands and ponies?

The Skipper glanced to the left and saw a teenage boy fighting someone with a strange, black mask, dressed all in black and holding a glowing, red sword. The masked being sounded like a scuba diver when he breathed. The boy was holding a green sword and they seemed to be dueling. The two looked as if they were fighting in a factory.

Gilligan looked somewhere else and saw a man with a whip and a fedora fleeing from a gigantic boulder.

The Skipper looked to his right and saw a big, red tomato singing while a cucumber played a tuba.

With a whoosh and an intermittent scraping sound a police public call box went flying across the bow of the ship.

They heard whistling and looked up to see a large, black and white mouse with huge ears piloting a upside-down steamboat past them above their head, spinning the wheel in time to the rhythm of the tune.

Lastly a strange man wearing a dark suit cartwheeled through the air towards the boat, arms crossed in front of him saying, "Consider if you will the case of one Skipper and Gilligan. Innocent sailors trying to make their way in the world. Little did that know that one fateful day they would take a three hour tour into..."

He disappeared below the boat before they could make out the rest of what he was saying.

They both looked forward and saw a sight that made them shake.

Apple Bloom exhaled as she passed the last basket of apples to Big Macintosh who loaded it into the family cart, which would be taken to market in ponyville.

“Thanks Apple Bloom. I’m goin into Ponyville to sell some apples. Yer friends are here by the way.” Apple Jack said. Sweetie Bell and Scootaloo trotted up.

Apple Bloom smiled and said, in an excited voice, “So Cutie Mark Crusaders, what'r we gonna try today? How about Hang-glidin? Waterskiin? Softball? Oh how about deep sea fishin?” Apple Jack looked at them and smiled. She remembered how much she had wanted a cutie mark when she was a filly. Now her sister was going through the same thing.

She turned to Sweetie Bell and said, in a joking voice, “Well Sweetie Bell, if you want a cutie mark in magic maybe you could drum up some clouds? Them Pegasi left us high and dry this month and some of the trees are lookin mighty thirsty.”

Sweetie Bell jumped up and squeaked excitedly, “Really? Do you think I could get a cutie mark in rainmaking? Twilight has been teaching me some spells and I guess I could try, as long as you think I could do it.”

Apple Jack cut in, trying to explain that it had been a joke but Scootaloo interrupted her with, “Yeah Sweetie Bell, you should totally try it. I bet you would be amazing at magic! Go on and try, you’ll probably end up with a cutie mark just like Twilight’s!”

Sweetie Bell beamed at her friends but Apple Jack cleared her throat and brought them all back to Equestria for a moment. She didn’t mean to dash Sweetie Bell’s dream, she just knew that she couldn’t do that complicated of a spell.

“No offense girls,” Apple Jack said. “But Twi is one of the most talented Unicorns… well Alicorns I know, I mean she is a princess, but I think that would be a tall order even fer her.” Sweetie Bell wilted. Apple Jack felt guilty for depressing her, but she would have been depressed even if she had tried.

Luckily for Sweetie Bell’s self-esteem, Scootaloo said, “Hey Sweetie Bell, maybe that just means you could be better at magic than Twilight! Why you could be the next Equestrian Princess!” Sweetie Bell’s eyes lit up at the sound of the words “Equestrian Princess”.

She smiled at Scootaloo and said, “I never thought of that. That would be so cool! Okay, here goes.”

Apple Jack rolled her eyes and thought, Sure. What could it hurt to try? I mean it’s not like it will do any harm right? They’ll get the idea and call it off right?

Sweetie Bell closed her eyes and concentrated on the magic, willing it to do what she wished. Her horn started glowing as the others held their breath. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shot her confident smiles. Sweetie Bell strained but the magic was too tiring and she was exhausted. The glow faded as she exhaled and frowned.

Sweetie Bell turned to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Apple Jack and Big Mac and said, “Well, that didn’t wor-” Suddenly, with a terrific roar a wall of water burst out of nowhere bringing along with it fish, seaweed and oddly enough, a small boat. Sweet Apple Acres was engulfed by the huge wave, drenching everypony.

“Pfffft…” Sweetie Bell blew a soggy strand of mane out of her face and said nonchalantly, “Do you think I overdid it?”

“Eyup.” Big Mac said as he shook the water off and started picking up apples.

“Oh doggon’ it! Look at this place!” Apple Jack said, angrily. “This saltwater is gonna ruin the whole apple orchard… wait, ‘smack, smack’ why is this saltwater, and where the hay did it come from? And why in tarnation is there a boat it the middle of the farm?”

The ponies got up and went over to check it out . Two strange looking heads popped up over the side. They were unlike any heads that anypony in Ponyville had ever seen. Sweetie Bell screamed.

Twilight Sparkle was walking down the street with Spike buying supplies when Rainbow Dash sped down from the clouds, leaving a rainbow-colored trail in her wake.

She flew right up and said, “Twilight, I just saw the weirdest thing up at Sweet Apple Acres. It’s almost like a huge wave of water appeared out of nowhere. We better go check and see if Apple Jack and the rest of the Apple family are okay.” Spike dropped the list and supplies he was carrying and jumped onto Twilight’s back. After scolding Spike, she picked up the supplies and placed them into her saddlebags. With that, Twilight ran after Rainbow Dash towards Sweet Apple Acres. As they passed Pinkie Pie floating along through the air, carried by some balloons, she let go of them, letting them sail off into the distance and hopped after them in her typical fashion.

About one hundred yards up Main Street Rarity stopped the threesome saying, “Excuse me Darlings, but where are you running to?”

“I don’t know,” said Pinkie Pie smiling as she hopped in place, “But who cares? I just like running.”

Twilight turned to Rarity and explained about what Rainbow had seen, to which Rarity answered, “Well what are we waiting for Darling? Let’s go help Apple Jack!” The ponies resumed their running and finally reached the outskirts of Ponyville. As they ran past Fluttershy’s cabin, Rainbow Dash went to grab Fluttershy. They finally arrived at Apple Jack’s farm. The farm was soaked. As they came over the side of the hill, they saw a small boat sitting in the middle of the field and Apple Jack approaching the boat, as Big Mac gathered up the apples and the Cutie Mark Crusaders attempted to revive a fainted Sweetie Bell.

“Darling! Stay away from that thing until you know what it’s doing here!” Rarity screamed.

“Yeah, or at least, wait for me!” Pinkie Pie said as she hopped one last time and then zoomed over to the boat in a pink blur which caused the trees to bend and snap back into position. She skipped past Apple Jack and jumped onto the boat. Two strange looking creatures stared back at her, frightened. Coming up from below deck was a creature just like the two cowering in a corner. This creature carried a journal and was wearing a white shirt and beige pants. Then the creature spoke,

“Good grief! Where are we and what is that thing?” He said, indicating Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie Pie smiled and said, “I’m not a thing. I’m a Pie!”

The man opened his journal and wrote in it, speaking aloud as he wrote, “We appear to have been transported to an alternative universe with a multi-colored female equine capable of intelligible communication that believes it is a baked good. Interesting…”

Gilligan looked at the Professor and said, “I agree completely. What did he say?”

“It’s a talking, pink pony.” The professor explained with a sigh.

Twilight Sparkle thought, These creatures look almost exactly like my friends at Canterlot High except their skins are all the same color. They also have rather dull looking hair colors. I wonder where they are from.

She spoke aloud, addressing the creature with the journal, “I don’t know where you came from but you are in the land of Equestria now. Where did you come from and how did you get here?”

The man looked at her and said, “I’m the Professor and this is the Skipper and Gilligan. The others are all below deck. We set out from Honolulu, Hawaii but how we got here is beyond me. Gilligan, Skipper do you know how we got here? I knew we were in a storm but this is ludicrous!”

Pinkie Pie walked up to the Skipper and looked him right in the face. The Skipper leaned back and asked, “What is she doing?”

Pinkie Pie closed her eyes, nodded with a pleased smile on her face, and sat down on the deck saying, “I like you. You seem nice. What’s your real name? Hmmm, Unless your name really is Skipper.”

The Skipper looked at her and said, “My real name is Jonas Grumby. But everyone calls me the Skipper.”

Pinkie Pie opened her mouth and eyes in shock and said, “GASP! Your name is Jonas Grumpy? Well okay Mr. Grumpy or can I just call you Grumpy?”

The Skipper blinked and said, “No, I’m not Grumpy-”

Gilligan cut in, “Are you sure Skipper? Because sometimes-”

“Gilligan cut that out,” said Skipper whacking Gilligan over the head with his hat, “I’m not Grumpy.”

Pinkie frowned and said, “You sure look grumpy.”

“I’m not Grumpy!” said the Skipper in an agitated voice.

“You sure sound grumpy,” said Gilligan covering his ears.

“I’m. Not. GRUMPY!” said the Skipper in a loud voice.

“Then why are you yelling?” asked Pinkie in a puzzled voice.

“I’M NOT YELLING!” bellowed the Skipper.

“Um, Skipper could you lower your voice I’m trying to write here,” said the Professor, scribbling furiously in his journal.

“Ep, sorry Professor,” said the Skipper in a chagrined tone.

Twilight looked at her friends and said, “Well you can’t stay here. We’ll figure out how you got here and how to get you home later but for now why don’t you come down from there.” Gilligan ran down below deck and brought up everyone.

“This is Mary Anne, and Ginger and Mr. and Mrs. Howell, and I’m Gilligan and that’s the Skipper,” said Gilligan.

“Gilligan they already met me,” Said the Skipper.

“Oh, and this is the Professor.” Gilligan said.

The Professor glanced up from his journal and said, “Oh, hello.” With that, he returned to his scribbling.

Twilight pulled her friends into a huddle.

“Ponies, I can’t keep all of them at my house. Can you girls help me?” Twilight asked her friends.

“I can keep one of them at our place.” Said Apple Jack.

“I would be glad to let one of them can stay with me.” Rarity said.

“Um… I think I can take care of two of them.” Fluttershy said in her usual sheepish tone.

“Can Gilligan and Grumpy stay with me? Cantheycantheycanthey?” Pinkie Pie begged in a loud voice.

“Sure they can Pinkie, and thanks. You ponies are the best.” Twilight said. The ponies turned back to the humans standing on the deck.

“Um… If you two would like to come stay at my house, I’ll get you settled.” Fluttershy said to Mr. and Mrs. Howell.

Mr. Howell looked at his wife and said, “What do you think Lovey? I’d hate for people to find out we stayed with a Yale Mare?”

“I don’t know Thurston; we don’t want people to know we socialize with the wrong sort of ponies. Ask her if she is royalty or rich.” Mrs. Howell replied to her husband.

Twilight looked at Fluttershy and said, “Are you sure you can handle them? They can stay with me if you like.”

Fluttershy gave her a sheepish grin and said, “Oh don’t worry. I’m sure that they will be no trouble at all.” With that she turned to the couple on the bow of the boat and said, “May I help you with your bags?”

Mr. Howell smiled and said, “Of course you can. Don’t drop the bags though. I’d hate to get any dirt on them.”

With that he motioned to Gilligan to start tossing bags off the side. They didn’t seem to end. Before Fluttershy was crushed by the onslaught of baggage, Rainbow swooped down to give her a hoof. The two set off for Fluttershy’s cabin, followed by the two Howells who were lamenting the lack of a limo.

Apple Jack turned to Mary Anne and said, “Well, I’m lucky that I didn’t get stuck with them. Would you like to stay with me and my family? If you could help with the chores that sure would be appreciated.”

Mary Anne beamed at Apple Jack and said, “Oh I’d love to stay with you and help with chores. I actually live on a farm back home.” Apple Jack and Mary Anne walked towards the barn, chatting about farming and the like.

Rarity turned to Ginger and said, “Well Darling, if you’ll come with me I’ll take your measurements and make you a new gown.”

Ginger smiled at her and said, “That sounds wonderful. A girl can never have too many dresses, I always say.”

Rarity grinned and said, “Well I can tell we will get along splendidly. Come along then Darling.”

Pinkie Pie smiled and exclaimed, “Or splediforously, or superwonderfulaliciously, or fantasmitastic-“

“Thank you, Darling,” Rarity said as she and Ginger walked down the road towards Ponyville Rarity pleased to have made a new friend, Ginger thrilled at the prospect of a new dress.

Twilight turned to the Professor and told him, “Well, if you come back to the castle with Spike and I, we’ll try to figure out how you got here and how to get you back.”

The Professor looked up from his journal and climbed off the boat and then stopped and asked, in shock, “Wait, did you say castle? What time period is this exactly?”

Twilight told him she’d explain everything to him as they walked to the castle. Sweetie Bell followed them, telling them how she had brought them there using magic.

Pinkie Pie turned to the Skipper and Gilligan and said, “That means you guys get to stay with me. Oh this will be fun. We can make cookies and cakes and rock candy and regular candy and cotton candy and we’ll eat whipped cream and ice cream and heavy cream and coconut cream pie!” The Skipper put his hand on his chest as if he was having a heart attack.

“Are you okay Grumpy?” Pinkie asked.

Skipper looked up at her, his face slightly green, and said, “I think I’ll pass on that.”

Pinkie Pie laughed and said, “Yeah that’s probably a good idea, since you’re family sized.” The Skipper glared at Pinkie Pie.

Gilligan raised his arms over his head and said, “I didn’t say it Skipper!”

Pinkie laughed again and said, between giggles, “You guys are so funny! Why don’t we get your stuff and skedaddle?” The Skipper climbed off the boat and Pinkie Pie felt her tail twitch.

“Grumpy, take a step to your right, or my left.” Pinkie Pie said. The Skipper looked at her funny, but stepped to the side, just as Gilligan threw a duffel bag overboard, right next to the Skipper.

The Skipper looked up at Pinkie and said, “How did you do that?”

Pinkie looked back at him, grinned and said, “It’s my Pinkie sense, when I get a twitchy tail, that means that something’s gonna fall.”

The Skipper looked at Gilligan and said, “Oh, I like her.”

With that the threesome headed down the road towards Sugar Cube corner.

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Pinkie Plans a Party and Skipper Tells a Story

Twilight Sparkle situated the Professor in her castle and sent Spike to make him something to eat.

“What would you like? Do you eat jewels? Or how about some hay?” Spike queried.

The Professor glanced back at him, one eyebrow raised and said, “Jewels? Do ponies possess strong enough stomach acid to actually break down gemstones?”

Twilight replied, “No, but Spike can.”

Then, turning to Spike, she said, “Spike, why don’t you just make some nachos? I have a feeling that our guest doesn’t eat hay or jewels.”

Spike smiled and walked in the direction of the castle kitchen.

Twilight turned around and said, “So, do you know how you got here, to Equestria I mean.”

The Professor sighed and replied, “No. Like I said, I was below deck the entire time. The Skipper and Gilligan might know, however.”

“Well if Sweetie Bell brought you here, then only Sweetie Bell would know how to get you home,” Twilight said, “But I don’t think that Sweetie Bell brought you here. She has just barely learned rudimentary magic. No, something else brought you here, but what?”

The Professor said, “Well Twilight, I don’t know anything about magic but apparently you do. Therefore, I leave it in your capable hand- uh hooves.”

Spike came out with some nachos and asked, “Uh, not that I was listening in or anything but why don’t you go to Pinkie’s to get some answers from Skipper and Gilligan?”

“Great idea Spike. Shall we go and rescue your friends from the wild welcome party I’m sure Pinkie is planning?” Twilight asked the Professor.

“Yes,” The Professor said as he got up out of his chair. Then he stopped. “Wait, does this happen often?”

Twilight smiled. “You have NO idea.”

With that, they headed off to Sugar Cube Corner.

“More candy Grumpy?” Pinkie asked.

The Skipper held up his hand in protest. He’d already been force-fed several buckets and he never wanted to see another piece of the stuff ever again.

Gilligan said, “May I have some more please? This is the best rock candy I’ve ever had.”

Pinkie Pie smiled and said, “Thanks, you want to know the secret ingredient?” She leaned in and whispered into Gilligan’s ear, “It’s rocks.” Gilligan promptly spat out the candy, right onto Skipper.

“Why Gilligan, You, you Knucklehead! Why when I get my hands on you-“ the Skipper started to lift up his hat to hit Gilligan, but Pinkie stopped him.

“Now Grumpy-” She began.

“My name’s not Grumpy!” The Skipper bellowed.

“Well then why did you tell me that was your name? Gasp! You mean you lied? You’re turning out to be… not as nice as I thought you were. Why you’re just a big- Oh look, something floating!” Pinkie said as a balloon floated by. It wafted slowly across the room to bump up against the muzzle of her party cannon which was half-buried beneath a mound of rock candy.

When Pinkie’s eyes landed on the cannon they expanded to the size of dinner plates, her pupils contracted to the size of pins, and her mouth literally dropped to the floor with the sound of a falling anvil.

‘KLANG!’

Picking her lower lip off the ground, Pinkie started talking to herself in a shocked voice, “I can’t believe I forgot it!”

Skipper looked nervously at Gilligan and then back at the excited mare and said in a frightened voice, “Forgot what?”

Pinkie ignored him completely and continued with her private rant, “Pinkie you’re slipping… I know! I’m gonna have to get to work immediately!! This is going to be huge, super-spectacularly-meganormously-gigantastic!!!”

Skipper and Gilligan backed slowly away from the pink pony as she continued to talk to herself, planning something which sounded too big to be good.

Skipper turned nervously to Gilligan and said, “Gilligan I don’t know what she’s planning but…”

Gilligan nodded and said, “I’m with you Skipper. I’ve got a bad feeling about this…”

Suddenly Pinkie’s head snapped around to face them. She stared straight at the two and said in a very matter of fact sort of way, “One. You guys don’t look like Jedi, but don’t worry your secret is safe with me.”

“B. You don’t have to worry about a thing I do this kind of thing all the time. It’s my special talent.”

“Me (which is a name I call myself, and follows ray, which is a drop of golden sun- Wait, this is no time for singing Pinkie!) Anyway it’s gonna be super huge, you can invite your friends, and I’m going to invite my friends, and there will be cake, and punch, and a DJ, and piñatas, and all the ponies from Ponyville, and streamers, and balloons, and Gummy will sing!” She paused and put her hoof on her chin in thought, “No, on second thought he’ll probably just dance. But it will be Gr-r-r-r-eat.” She rolled the R’s furiously as she exploded into the air her hooves up and confetti flying everywhere.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Pinkie paused mid-explosion and her head turned towards the sound.

“I wonder who that could be?” she said, puzzled.

With that, she dropped back to the ground, the flurry of confetti de-flurried back into the cannon behind her and she skipped merrily over to the door, singing “La-la-la-la-la” to herself as she went.

She opened the door to find Twilight and the Professor. The Professor stared at the mounds of rock candy. He opened his journal and began writing in it.

“Hi Twilight. What brings you here?” Pinkie asked.

“Pinkie, we would like to ask your new friends some questions.” Asked Twilight.

“Okie dokie lokie. Hey Grumpy! Come over here please.” Pinkie Pie said.

They turned to see Gilligan shaking in the arms of the Skipper as he gripped the Skipper’s neck with white knuckles. They both wore terrified looks on their faces.

The Skipper regained his composure and dropped Gilligan into a pile of rock candy, saying in an irritated voice, “Gilligan! Act your age.”

“But I’m not that old Skipper,” said Gilligan.

Skipper turned around and froze.

“Gilligan, don’t move.” He said, his voice low with fear.

Gilligan, not heeding the Skipper’s advice, leaned over and looked past him to see what was wrong.

An alligator sat on a small hill of rock candy vacantly licking his purple eyeballs.

“AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Gilligan screamed. He jumped into the Skipper’s arms again and the Skipper, carrying Gilligan, ran towards the back of the room. He tripped over a large sugarized boulder and sent the two of them spiraling out of control into a strawberry flavored candy mound.

Pinkie Pie turned, walked over towards them and asked, “What’s wrong Grumpy? Gilligan?"

“It’s a cro- It’s a croco- It’s a cr-cr-cr-cr-cr- “ Gilligan stammered as he pointed at the strange creature from his upside-down position on the pile.

“It’s a crocodile!” The Skipper yelled.

Pinkie Pie laughed and said, “Oh, you guys are so funny! This is Gummy, my pet alligator. He doesn’t have any teeth!” As she said this, Gummy dived off the pile of candy and landed, mouth open, on top of Pinkie’s head. She returned to Twilight’s side wearing Gummy on her head like a furiously gumming stocking cap.

Twilight smiled and said, “So, do you guys remember how you got here?”

The Skipper looked at Gilligan and asked, “Gilligan, would you like to tell them?”

“No Skipper, you should tell them. I mean you’re the Skipper, right Skipper?” Gilligan replied.

The Skipper patted Gilligan on the shoulder, “That’s right little Buddy. Now just remember that.”

With that, the Skipper turned to Twilight and the Professor and said, “Well, I saw-"

Gilligan cut him off with, “We saw a HUGE reef! If we didn’t turn around the Minnow would be lost!”

Pinkie Pie suddenly turned towards nowhere in particular and sang, “The Minnow would be lost! The ship’s aground in the middle of the Apple Family Farm. With Apple Jack, and Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie. (That’s ME!) Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike, are here on-"

At this point Pinkie Pie was interrupted by Twilight, who said, “Ah, Pinkie you do realize that we weren’t on the boat, right?”

Completely unfazed, Pinkie Pie started over again, “With Gilligan, and Grumpy too…”

“That’s Grumby,” said the Skipper.

“The Millionaire, and his Wife. The Movie Star, the Professor and Mary Anne-” she stopped, a surprised look on her face, “Oh wait, they don’t come into the song until the second season.”

The Professor stopped writing and looked up with a puzzled expression on his face, “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. What did you say?”

“Don’t ask,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes.

The Skipper sighed and said, “Gilligan would you like to continue the story?”

Gilligan glanced at Skipper and said, “No, I can’t tell this story better than you Skipper. Go ahead."

“Well I told Gilligan to throw the anchor out and the numbskull didn’t attach the anchor line! So-” The Skipper said, but was once again cut off by Gilligan.

“We saw a great big wall! A big, ginormous, great, big, white wall!” Gilligan turned white as if for illustration.

“Shall I continue?” The Skipper asked in a sarcastic tone.

“Yeah Skipper, you’re doing a fine job.” Gilligan said, with his signature dumb expression.

“Well then-” The Skipper began, but then cut himself off before Gilligan could.

“We sailed right into the wall of white, scary, foreboding and… Skipper!” Gilligan said.

The Skipper grabbed his little buddy by the shoulders and shook him.

“What is it little Buddy?” He asked, in a worried tone.

“I scared myself.” Gilligan said.

“You numbskull! Oh, forget it. I’ll deal with you when I’m done with the story,” That said, the Skipper turned back to the group and finished the tale with no interruptions from Gilligan, who was still shaking.

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.

References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

In particular we do not own the rights to the Ballad of Gilligan's Island. We are using it for comedic purposes only.

Chapter 3

Chapter 3: Two Divas, Two Farm-Girls and Too Little Room!

“Well Darling, what kind of fabric would you like for your new dress? Satin, Silk? Ooh, how about this new fabric? It’s the latest thing. Even though everypony will tell you Prim Hemline invented it, it was my design,” Rarity said, excited beyond belief. She loved designing dresses for new clients and this Ginger Grant was like her human twin.

“I’ve always loved new fabrics. And purple is my favorite color,” Ginger said, stroking the fabric.

“Oh I have other colors besides purple. I think beige would suit you just fine,” Rarity said as she levitated several other fabrics toward Ginger.

“Wonderful. Now how about the design?” Ginger said, admiring the colors.

Rarity picked up her pad and pen and began sketching a rough outline of the dress.

“Well I was thinking that the bottom would be with this fabric and on the top some shimmering, beaded fabric.”

The girls were right in the middle of designing the new dress when there was a blinding flash of light and they disappeared!

“Oh I want to thank you for letting me stay here. It’s so kind of you,” Mary Anne said as she and Apple Jack headed towards the barn.

“It ain’t no trouble at all. We could use a new face ‘round here,” Apple Jack said as they entered the house, “Well, this is the Apple Family Homestead, and this Is Granny Smith.”

Granny Smith smiled at Mary Anne and said, “Who is this, and where did she come from? I’ve lived in Equestria for many years and I never seen any creature like this.”

“Didn’t you hear the loud noise earlier this mornin?” Apple Jack asked.

Granny Smith took out a megaphone from the last Sisterhooves Social and held it up to her ear. “What?”

Apple Jack repeated the question and Granny Smith absentmindedly responded through the megaphone, “No, I didn’t hear a thing.”

Apple Jack winced, her ears back. Then she smiled and explained what happened, stopping every so often to let Granny Smith catch up.

“Well,” Granny Smith said when the story was over, “Yer sure welcome to stay here as long as yeh need.”

“That is so kind of you. I can help with chores here, I live on a farm back home, so it won’t be any trouble,” Mary Anne said, beaming.

“Well, the rest of the family is out at the moment. Big Mac’s in town selling apples and Apple Bloom is playin with her friends, the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Apple Jack said.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders?” Mary Anne asked.

“They’re a small group started by Apple Bloom, Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell. They’re just friends who work together to get their cutie marks,” Apple Jack explained.

“And cutie marks are?” Mary Anne asked with a quizzical look on her face.

“They’re those marks that show up on a pony’s flank when they decide what their special talent is. You never heard ‘bout this?” Apple Jack inquired, and Mary Anne shook her head, “Well, I don’t s’pose that things are exactly the same where you come from. How ‘bout I show you ‘round the farm?”

Mary Anne agreed and they headed away from the Apple Family Home.

Apple Jack showed Mary Anne the fields and the orchard. They headed to the swimming hole, passing the fruit bat preserve on the way and Mary Anne asked about it.

“Well the bats were a real problem till Fluttershy convinced me to set aside some land fer them. Now we never have any problems.”

“That’s amazing. How do you keep them on the preserve?”

“Fluttershy can convince animals to do almost anythin, so she helped us out.”

“I wish that we could just call someone to get the animals off of our farm.”

As Mary Anne and Apple Jack started to move on, they disappeared in a flash of light.

A knock sounded at the door. Fluttershy trotted over and answered the door to find Rainbow Dash hovering outside with the last of the Howell’s luggage.

“Oh come in Rainbow. Thank you ever so much for helping me with their luggage, but I don’t know where to put it.”

Fluttershy’s already small cottage was stuffed with the Howell’s bags. Rainbow exhaled and dumped the last of the luggage in Fluttershy’s living room. The Howell’s came down the staircase and looked at the bags lying on the floor.

“Oh you can take that right out again,” said Mrs. Howell, “We’ve seen the house and it’s simply too small. The room you were going to put us in is smaller than our sink back home.”

“If your sink is that big, what’s your bathtub like?” Rainbow asked.

“Well where do you think we keep our yachts?” Mrs. Howell said.

“Yes, I love playing with my little boats in the tub,” Mr. Howell said with a chuckle, “But when we really want to do some boating, we have to go somewhere slightly larger, like the Pacific.”

Rainbow glared at the millionaires and sank into a chair, putting her hooves up. Mr. Howell harrumphed as he and his wife turned and walked back upstairs.

“They must be a real pain in the… Well anyway, that’s why I live in the clouds. No unwanted visitors!” Rainbow said as she glared upstairs.

“Oh they aren’t so bad. You just have to learn to be patient,” Fluttershy said as she offered Rainbow Dash a glass of lemonade.

Rainbow took a long swig from the glass. “Ah, that's so much better. Thanks Fluttershy. But if I were you I’d throw those stuck-up pain-in-the-tails out on their luggage.”

Mr. Howell reappeared on the top of the stairs and said, “Excuse me Ms. Fluttershy, but would you know where we could find a Hilton? Or at least somewhere a trifle roomier?”

“I don’t know a Hilton, but the roomiest place around would probably be the castle,” Fluttershy said with a confused look on her face.

“You mean to say that there is royalty in this small town? Well why didn’t you say so beforehand?” Mr. Howell said with eyes the size of Lovey’s diamonds.

“Before-what?” Rainbow asked with a bewildered look on her face.

“I didn’t think you wanted to know, sorry,” Fluttershy said.

“Well I think we shall pay them a visit and inquire as to the availability of lodging.”

“I think that Twilight would be happy to let you stay with her," said Fluttershy with a bright smile.

“What? You mean to say that the lavender unicorn is a princess?”

“Well technically, she’s an alicorn. But yes, she’s a princess.”

“LOVEY! You should come here right now! There is a princess in this town and we didn’t know it!”

Mrs. Howell came out and joined her husband.

“A princess?”

“Yes, and we are going to go stay with her.”

Rainbow sighed and started picking up the bags when there was a blinding flash of light and they all disappeared, leaving the bags to fall to the floor.

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

Chapter 4

Chapter 4: I Curse the Name. The One Behind it Aaalllllllllll…

After hearing the entire tale without any more interruptions from either Gilligan or Pinkie, Twilight tapped her chin with a hoof as she thought for a minute. Then she said, “If you are really from another world I can think of only a few creatures with enough power in this universe to bring you here. There are the Princesses, myself included, and the Elements of Harmony, but probably the most likely would be…”

“DISCORD!” Shouted Pinkie, pointing towards the door.

Everyone spun around to face the door and sure enough, sitting on top of the lower half of the door was the darned draconequus himself, or at least his upside-down head.

“Thank you for the wonderful introduction Pinkie Pie,” said the head with a smile, dropping off the door and rolling towards the group. A headless body came up to the door and began feeling all over it as if looking for something, “I can always count on you to make me feel welcome.”

“No problemo,” said Pinkie batting a hoof at the head as the Professor, Skipper and Gilligan stared in stunned silence.

“What are you doing here?” said Twilight in a suspicious voice.

“Well I was just passing through after a hard day’s night of doing who-knows-what,” said the head as the body leaned against the front door and gestured with its hands as though nothing was amiss, “When I heard my name about to be mentioned. So I thought I’d drop by, see how you’re doing and find out what you think I did this time.”

Twilight frowned and said, “Usually you’ve done precisely what we thought you did, and it’s our job to undo whatever it is.”

“I resent that,” said the head with a frown, “More often than not I’ve done more than you thought I did, and lately I’ve even been helping you… By the way do you mind if I let myself in?”

Everyone looked up to see the headless form at the door waving politely.

“Fine,” groaned Twilight, rolling her eyes.

The figure began pulling on the door but for some reason it wouldn’t open.

“The door appears to be jammed,” said the head with a strange gleam in its eye, “Oh well, since I can’t open the door, I guess I’ll have to open the house.”

With that the headless creature did something which ended the Professor’s note-taking for two reasons, first of all it defied that laws of physics, second it made him drop his journal.

Gripping the lower half of the door in one hand and the doorframe in the other, the strange creature swung the house around on the door hinge while keeping the door firmly in place. This turned several of the piles of rock candy into rock-slide candy and made the Professor drop his notes while everyone remained standing. As the building swung out into the street there was a 'THUNK' and a white pony with curly pink & dark blue hair with three candies for a cutie mark had her face plastered against one of Sugarcube Corner's windows.

The body stepped around the door and into the room, shutting the building back into position with a closed door and leaving a flattened pony in the middle of the street outside. Bending down it picked up the head, set it on its long neck and gave it a spin until with a few mechanical clicks it stopped facing them.

“Ah, much better,” said the head, now part of a whole, “I was beginning to get a headache down there on the floor.”

The Professor, eyes as wide as golf-balls and his mind and sanity hanging by a thread, babbled something which amounted to, “How- He- It- But- What- Huh?”

Gilligan, lacking enough of a mind to be unfazed by the whole experience, managed to ask the question his two friends were trying to articulate, “Who are you?”

Discord, who up to this point had not noticed the humans, turned and faced Gilligan. A surprised look flew across his face, as he stroked his goatee.

“Excuse me Twilight, but what are these strange creatures doing in Ponyville? They don’t look like they belong here,” He asked, then comprehension flashed across his face, “Oh, now I see. You think I did that. Well I hate to disappoint you but- Oh wait I LOVE disappointing you. Anyway, I had nothing to do with this. I am innocent; what a strange feeling.”

“Who else possesses the power to transport creatures from one world to another?” Twilight said with a sarcastic tone.

“Well, I don’t know. Why not blame someone else for a change, or send a letter to your beloved Princess Celestia for help? I’m tired of me being your scapegoat AND encyclopedia,” Discord said as he crossed his arms and glared at Twilight.

“You’re not a scapegoat, or an encyclopedia, you’re a draconequus,” Pinkie said with a confused look on her face.

“Well, do you have an alibi for the crime?” Twilight asked.

Discord donned a trench-coat that he pulled out of nowhere and pushed Twilight back onto a wooden chair. He shone a bright light in her eyes and said, “So, I take it this is when you ask me where I was on the night of Monday the twenty-second of last January, right?”

“LEFT!” Yelled Pinkie, being Pinkie.

Twilight squinted and said, “Actually, it happened this morning, and shouldn’t I be the one shining the light in your face?”

Discord dropped the light, stepped back and shrugged his shoulders, saying, “Today, yesterday, five years ago, it’s all relative.”

“Maybe to you,” said Twilight pointing an accusing hoof at the draconequus.

“I’m telling you I am innocent. I was staying up at my ski chalet-”

“Don’t you live in a tree of Disharmony?” Twilight interjected.

“That’s my summer home. Trust me, you don’t want to be staying in a tree with all the chocolate snow that falls this time of year.”

“CHOCOLATE SNOW?!” Pinkie shrieked, her tongue hanging out, drooling.

“You realize it’s summer, right?” Twilight said.

“Consider the source my dear,” Discord said, holding up a sign with an arrow pointing to him with ‘SOURCE’ in big red letters.

Twilight face-hoofed and said, “Fine, continue…”

“Well, I had just returned home after a long day of water-skiing in the Mohave desert. I felt rather thirsty and decided to mix myself up something a little random.”

“Oh, how I wish that Fluttershy was here,” Twilight groaned to Spike. “She can understand him so much better than I.”

“Oh splendid idea. Why not bring them all up to date?” Discord said. He snapped his fingers and the other ponies and the rest of the castaways appeared. An exact replica of Discord handed out papers to the new arrivals.

“Thanks to my brilliant secretary,” said Discord, gesturing to another Discord, who sat at a typewriter wearing a set of reading glasses on a beaded neck cord, “We have this entire discussion transcribed for your reading pleasure.”

“Oh, that’s so sweet,” Said Fluttershy, “I told you all he’s changed.”

“I must say, this fellow sure seems to be on top of things. Perhaps I should hire him for Howell Industries,” said Mr. Howell, studying the paper that had just been handed to him by Discord #2.

“Which one Thurston; the secretary, the assistant or the representative?” Mrs. Howell said, squinting through her opera glasses at the three Discords.

“Perhaps I could hire them all, for discounted rates of course.”

“Oh Thurston, you are so clever.”

“They don’t call me the Wolf of Wall Street for the nothing.”

“Anyway,” said Discord, ignoring the two millionaires, “Twilight here has suggested that I, of all people, brought these people here using my magic,” as he spoke, he generated a halo above his head.

“And you were giving us your alibi, please continue,” Twilight said, trying to keep the Lord of Chaos on track.

“Yes well anyway, I was mixing myself up something a little random. So I took some chaos, powdered up some random comedy and for flair, I added a dash of something from my little black box.”

“We’re not here to exchange recipes Discord!” Said Rainbow Dash, Hovering a hoof or two over everypony’s heads, “Just what is in this black box of yours?”

Discord reached out and grabbed at the air, opening an invisible door on a squeaky hinge. He stuck his head into what appeared to be an invisible cabinet, making his head disappear.

“Oh where did I put that?” Discord muttered, as he rummaged around inside of nowhere, “Oh there it is,” he withdrew from the cabinet, a small cardboard box, painted black and about six inches on each side.

Apple Jack examined the box, “Uh, what's in there exactly?”

“Oh even I don’t know. That’s precisely why I made it. I remember it like it was two weeks ago, which it was. I was in my tree. It was summer back then, and I decided that I, the Lord of Chaos and Head Honcho of Hooey, needed to add a little panache to my otherwise drab and boring lifestyle,” Discord said, as a miniature marching band of Discords marched up his neck, around his head and back down his neck, all the while playing Glory, Glory, Hallelujah, “So I decided to create something which would surprise even ME!”

“So you can just take anything you want out of this box?” Asked an excited Rarity, “Even say a new dress? Or Jewels? Or even-”

“No,” said a slightly miffed Discord, “I can’t control what comes out of this. Here watch.”

With that, Discord up-ended the box and shot toward the ceiling riding a rapidly growing mountain of nonsensical items.

“There you see?” Said Discord as he crossed his arms, sitting atop the pile of rubbish. The last thing to come out of the black box was a fully inflated life raft. Discord climbed aboard, clutching the box and rode the raft down the hill of trash.

“Ok, so go on. What happened after you mixed the ‘ingredient’ from your black box into your drink?” Asked Twilight.

“It blew up. So anyway, this morning-“

“But what happened after it blew up?” Twilight interjected.

“How should I know? All I remember is a great ball of fire-“

“Goodness Gracious!” Pinkie Pie interrupted.

“Beautifully put Pinkie. And then I remember waking up the next morning, with the table in front of me dissolved. Such a shame too, that really was a nice table,” Discord muttered with a downtrodden look in his eyes, “I even had to shave my goatee out, after it was singed off.”

“And that’s it?” Twilight asked with a piercing glare.

“Yes. May I go now?” Discord asked with a sarcastic voice, “Or am I still being held for questioning?”

“Yes, you can go, but I may have some more questions for you later,” Twilight said.

With a smile and a quick wave Discord pulled a cork out of the floor and disappeared down a drain which vanished after him.

“Well, what do you think? Did his explanation make sense?” Spike asked.

“Of course not,” Twilight said with a groan, “It made no sense at all but that makes sense in Discord’s case. If it made sense, then something would be wrong. ”

“He- just- how- where- what-?” babbled the Professor, still dazed by the whole event.

“Don’t worry Sugarcube,” Said Apple Jack, putting a hoof on the Professors shoulder, “That’s how he makes us all feel.”

“May I help you?” Twilight asked as she noticed Mrs. Howell bent before her on the floor, in a low curtsy.

“Your Grace,” said Mrs. Howell, “Fluttershy tells us that you are a princess. Do you know the Queen of England?”

“Uh, no…. What’s a Queen?” Twilight asked, confused.

“They’re like princesses only bigger, more royalty-ish and they’re usually EVIL! Like the Quicked Ween! I mean the Wicked Queen!”

“The who Darling?” Rarity asked, as she stared at Pinkie.

“They try to feed you poison apples!”

“Poison what now?” Apple Jack asked, a look of horror on her face.

“And if you got the wrong color roses,” Pinkie said as she grabbed Rainbow out of the air and started shaking her, “They chop off your head!” With that she let go of Rainbow and drew a hoof across her neck making a ‘sshhhlllllllllllrrrrrk!’ noise, spraying spit all over Rainbow.

Rainbow pushed Pinkie back a hoof or two, “Pinkie, tone it down a bit,” she said as she wiped the strawberry flavored saliva out of her eyes.

Mr. Howell stepped forwards and said, “It’s been so long since we last hobnobbed with royalty, not to mention your friend Fluttershy is in desperate need of a stock ticker, and her house lacked ummm…”

“A certain je ne sais quoi,” put in Mrs. Howell, “So we were wondering if you might entertain the possibility of letting us reside with you in your royal domicile.”

Spike scratched his head, confused, “Um, Did anyone get that?”

Gilligan shook his head and said, “Not me.”

The Professor brightened up upon realizing that he at least understood this, “The Howells want to know if they can stay with Twilight.”

“Oh,” said Gilligan, Apple Jack, Spike, Skipper and Mary Anne in unison.

“Whatever,” said Rainbow, shrugging, “At least they’re not staying with me.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow and said, nonchalantly, “You know I’ve perfected a longer cloud-walking spell, right?”

Rainbow’s eyes widened and she spluttered, “The pegasi are planning a bit of cloudburst, so I better move my house up a little higher. You know, so it doesn’t get rained out. See ya.”

With that she vanished with a WOOOSHH! and a rainbow trail.

Twilight rolled her eyes and turned back to the Howells, “Of course you can stay at my castle. You don’t mind, do you Professor?”

“No, not at all,” said the Professor bending down to pick up his notebook.

“Well, now what?” Said Rarity.

“With Discord as innocent as Discord ever is,” Twilight rolled her eyes, “We have to consider all the other possibilities, which means…”

Rarity, Apple Jack, and Fluttershy backed up slightly and sighed.

“RESEARCH!!!” Screamed Twilight unknowingly in the Royal Canterlot voice, her hoof outstretched in a dramatic pose, while Pinkie fired off her party cannon behind her leading to a backdrop of rainbow colors.

The Professor looked up from his journal and stared at Twilight trying to discern where the brilliant background appeared from. As he did so the color faded and Twilight dropped her pose.

The Professor looked at his journal and then back at Twilight and said, “At this point there are a great deal of other phenomena I would rather study in this world. However you are the expert here Twilight, therefore I defer to your expertise.”

“Why don’t you two go along and spend some quality time with your friends,” said Pinkie, standing on her hind legs between Skipper and Gilligan with a hoof over each of their shoulders, “I’ll stay here and prepare your extra-mega-super-spectacular-fabumungously-giganormounbeliextremazincredi…”

By this point Skipper and Gilligan were already out the door running to catch up with Twilight, the Howells and the Professor.

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Two Oddballs, a Muffin and a Coconut-Cream Pie

As Pinkie trotted down Main Street pointing out all the sights to her new friends and handing out invitations to the party Skipper marveled at all the different ponies, some with wings, others with horns.

Passing by Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie stopped and got a coconut-cream pie for Gilligan ignoring his vehement protests.

“You’ll love it, trust me,” said Pinkie, grinning from ear to ear.

With pie in hand, Gilligan began to depart from the bakery. As he approached the door Pinkie said something about “twitchy face” and then yelled “LOOK OUT!”

Gilligan turned around to see what she was yelling, promptly lost his balance and accidentally sent the pie flying right into the face of a pony entering Sugarcube Corner.

“Sorry,” said Gilligan, trying desperately to wipe the pie off the face of the confused pony. But he only managed to smear it over a larger portion of the mare’s face.

The pony wiped pie out of her eyes and stared at Gilligan.

“HUMAN… HANDS… PIE! TODAY CANNOT GET ANY BETTER!!!” Screamed the mint colored pony.

Her tongue extended out of her mouth and rotated clockwise collecting all of the pie like a set of windshield wipers. With a clean coat and a huge smile the mare latched onto Gilligan’s right hand and began examining it.

“Fingers… Thumbs… Hands are So Awesome!”

“Pinkie… HELP!” Yelled Gilligan, trying to escape from the pony who had such a strong grip despite her lack of said appendage.

“Don’t worry, I’m coming Gilligan,” said Pinkie, grabbing another pie and heading for the door.

Halfway there she began to scrunch her face left and right, “Wow, Pinkie sense again I wonder what- Huh, Twitchy-fa-”

Pinkie wasn’t even able to finish her sentence as she stepped on the empty pie tin and went careening towards Gilligan.

“Aaaahhhhhhhhhh – here you go,” said the Pink mare, quickly passing Gilligan the pie as she shot by out the door, “-Aaaahhhhhhhhh.”

Gilligan grabbed at the second pie as it flew towards him. With one hand immobilized by the first pie victim the normally clumsy Gilligan was completely unable to halt the coconut-cream missile from its inevitable trajectory.

SPLAT!

Gilligan turned as best he could with one hand still being examined and winced when he saw he had once again pied another pony.

This pony slowly wiped the cream off her face with one hoof and looked up at Gilligan with two big, misaligned, golden eyes.

The pony and Gilligan said in perfect unison, unintentionally of course, “Oh I’m so sorry!”

“What are you sorry for? I dropped a pie in your face,” Gilligan asked, slightly bewildered.

“Yeah but now you have a ruined pie,” The yellow maned, grey coated mare replied, with an embarrassed grin.

“Oh think nothing of it.” Said Pinkie, with a trash can lid on her head from where she had landed. “I wanted you two to meet anyway. Let me show you to a table.”

With that, Pinkie Pie kicked the lid off of her head and produced, out of nowhere in particular, a white waiter’s coat and a fake mustache, which she put on. She led them over to a patio table after separating Gilligan from the hand-obsessed pony and ran into Sugarcube corner. As the two looked at each other in bewilderment, Pinkie reappeared with another coconut-cream pie and a muffin and placed them in front of them.

“Pardon me Pinkie but, why did you want us to meet?” The mare asked with a puzzled look on her face, “What do we have in common?”

Pinkie smiled.

“Oh I don’t know. He just reminded me of you… somehow.” With that, she went skipping off with the others to resume the tour.

The mare and Gilligan exchanged glances.

“Well, this is awkward.” Said Gilligan, glancing around. "I don’t even know your name.”

“Ditzy-Doo Hooves. But my friends call me Derpy.” Replied the mare. “I’m sorry I ruined your pie.”

“I’m sorry I ruined my pie all over you. Sometimes I think the Skipper’s right. I’ll never get anything right. No matter what I do I mess things up.”

“No kidding? Me too!”

“I’m a total klutz.”

“Me Too!”

“I’m a walking bad luck charm.”

“ME TOO! Well a walking and flying bad luck charm.” Derpy said with her misaligned eyes wide.

“The Skipper says that I’ll never amount to anything.” Gilligan said with a downtrodden look in his eyes.

“If the Skipper is so mean to you, then why do you stick with him?”

“Well… Because he’s my big buddy. He may hit me with his hat sometimes… a lot of times… most of the time… All the time. But I know he’ll always stick up for me. He’s the Skipper and he won’t let anyone push me around but him.”

“That’s nice,” said Derpy her eyes closed and a happy smile on her face. Then she opened her eyes and said with a confused expression, “I think.”

“It’s nice to have a friend you can always depend on no matter what,” said Gilligan smiling, “And I can always depend on the Skipper.”

“I know what you mean,” said Derpy, “When I was just a filly I didn’t have many friends because I was… Different.”

“I wasn’t,” said Gilligan tactlessly, “When I was a filly- I mean a kid everyone was just a weird as me… I think… You know I don’t actually remember. It was kind of a long time ago. I do remember my best friend Skinny Mulligan though.”

“What was he like?”

“You should have met him, he was the best apple bobbler ever. He held the record for keeping his head under the water, two hours and twenty-six minutes.”

“How did he do that?”

“He cheated.”

Derpy looked confused for a second and then said, “Oh, like Pinkie.”

“Yah,” said Gilligan, nodding. The two exchanged knowing glances.

“Skinny was really my only friend till I met the Skipper. But I do feel that I’ll never amount to anything.”

“I used to feel that way as well. But a good friend of mine told me to never stop believing in myself and always keep a positive outlook,” With that, Derpy finished her muffin and stood up, “Well Gilligan, I must be off. Onwards and upwards.”

Derpy floated off the ground and turned around… Where she promptly crashed into Bulk Biceps. The two barreled head over hoof, crashing into the side of Sugarcube Corner, “My apologies, Bulk Biceps. Do you forgive me?”

“YEAHHH!!!” Bulk screamed as he flexed, sending Gilligan into the air without wings. Bulk headed off on his way towards the gym and Derpy flew off towards her home.

Pinkie bounded over to Gilligan with the others. “Hi Gilligan. We just came back from the library.”

Skipper, with a look of excitement on his face said, “Yeah Gilligan and Twilight said that she and the Professor almost have the answer. So we should start repairing the holes in the boat and gathering supplies.”

Pinkie patted Skipper on the back and said, “Now Grumpy, Twilight only tells you she’s close to the answer when she has no idea what’s going on.”

Skipper glanced at Pinkie and said, “That’s ridiculous!”

“I have NO idea what’s going on!” Twilight yelled as she tossed another book on magical beings into an already gargantuan, unsteady pile of books, “There is no creature in Equestria that could feasibly have brought you here that isn’t already vanquished!”

The Professor glanced up from Magical Beings in Equestria and said, “Are you quite sure that Discord isn’t the one behind it all?”

“Well that’s the problem; he is the master of chaos so he could be lying but appear to be telling the truth or he could be telling the truth and appear to be lying.”

“You don’t think you could possibly be overthinking this whole thing?”

“What, no. I never overthink anything. It’s just when Discord is around I can’t sit idly-”

Pinkie popped up out of nowhere, put her hoof around Twilight’s shoulder and began singing a strange song, “I can’t move at all. I curse the name. The one behind it aaallllll. Discord I’m howling at the moon and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon. Discord whatever did we do to make you take our world awaayyyyyy…”

She ended on a particularly high, off-key note and the Professor could literally see Pinkie’s uvula bouncing around in the back of her throat like an actual punching bag.

“I love that song,” said a disembodied voice, and they all turned to see a blue-colored Discord with gold bracelets appearing out of a small golden lamp.

“I know it’s so funny, it’s like they forgot that you aren’t evil anymore. Still it’s a nice song,” said Pinkie with a large smile.

“What song… Who… How… What…” Twilight stammered.

The Professor put his hand on her shoulder and said, “Twilight who are we talking about here?”

Twilight looked at the Professor and then back at Pinkie and said, “Right, what was I thinking? Wait, Pinkie you were just here, right?”

“Yeah, why?” Said Pinkie, chewing on a carrot.

“Well, weren’t you giving your friends a tour of Ponyville?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, you did come back here. But then you went to get Gilligan, right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, why are you back here again?”

“Skipper wants to fix the boat so I thought we should get some wood.”

“But Pinkie I don’t have any wood here just crystal. Why don’t you go to the Ponyville carpenter?”

“Because silly, they cost money and Skipper doesn’t have any so I thought I would come get some out of this closet.”

With that Pinkie went over to a wall and opened a closet which Twilight had never seen before. It was filled to bursting with nails, boards, and buckets of paint.

Twilight’s jaw dropped and she stared at the closet full of wood and then she said, pointing, “Pinkie where did that wood come from?”

“It’s my special ‘help-a-new-friend-from-another-universe-who-has-a-broken-boat’ stash.”

Twilight turned helplessly to Discord and said, “You didn’t…”

“Oh no,” said Discord, “I didn’t do a thing. That’s just Pinkie.”

“Right…” said Twilight, “Wait, what are you doing here?”

“Oh right,” Discord looked a little at ease, “Well after our little chat I went back to my house and took a good long look at that table and…”

“You found something?”

“Nope not a thing. But when I took a sniff and you know what I smelled?”

“Nothing?” asked Twilight.

“Singed lemons and smoke?” Asked Pinkie.

“Exactly,” said Discord smiling, “And you know what that means.”

“Uhhh… No,” said Twilight.

“Well the smoke came from the explosion. Come to think about it, I really should have cleaned that up first thing this morning. Now it’s going to stick to everything and gum up my whole house. Any-who the singed lemon smell means the explosion opened a hole in time and space. So you see that it wasn’t really my fault that these guests of yours are here. It was my little black box, and you can’t really blame it for doing something completely random, after all that’s what I made if for.”

Twilight had long since firmly planted her hoof on her face and now, rolling her eyes, looked up and said, “Whatever Discord. Just answer this question: ‘Can you send them back?’.”

“Well now that’s the problem,” said Discord, “You see I can find the hole. However once it’s made unless it has somepony's magic to stabilize it, it’s like one of those squishy rubber balls with the liquid inside. When you squeeze it, it slips right out of your grasp.”

“Really,” said Twilight, with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes,” said Discord smiling, “And you see these two universes, all universes in fact, are very good at squeezing things.”

“So the portal could be anywhere between here and Canterlot?” Asked Twilight with a grim face.

“Oh no,” said Discord, waving his left chicken hand.

Twilight sighed in relief.

“It could be anywhere from here to Tartarus or from Canterlot to Texas,” said Discord drawing actual dotted lines through the air connecting points ‘A’ to ‘B’ until the space around him was filled with squiggly lines, letters and numbers.

“Where?” asked Twilight.

“You know Twilight,” said Pinkie smiling, “From sea to shining seeaaaaa…”

Twilight just stared at Pinkie.

“The laaand of the freeeee, and the hoooommmme of theeee Brraavveeeee…”

Twilight shook her head and turned just in time to see Discord put away a baseball cap, a bag of popcorn and small flag with red and white stripes on it.

“So you can’t send them home?” said Twilight.

“I didn’t say that,” said Discord, shaking a giant foam finger at Twilight, “However it would require a smidgen of your help.”

“Here we go,” said Twilight rolling her eyes, “What’s the catch Discord?”

“Well with that attitude maybe we should just drop the whole thing,” said Discord crossing his arms.

Gilligan dropped the piece of lumber he was hauling out of the closet onto the Skipper’s foot.

“Oohhh! Gilligan!!” Yelled the Skipper whacking Gilligan with his hat and hopping on one foot at the same time, “Pick that back up.”

“But Skipper he said-”

“I don’t care what he said Gilligan, get back to work.”

Gilligan picked the wood back up and continued out the door.

Twilight stared after him and said, “Fine Discord, I’ll listen.”

“Perfect,” said Discord brightening, “Well I can find the hole but holding onto it, and patching it up after it was set loose will require a little more power.”

“How much?” said Twilight with a sarcastic expression.

“One second,” said Discord. He took out an abacus and began flipping the beads back and forth until they were moving so fast they began to fly off the wires.

After a few seconds Discord stopped and looked at the mangled abacus in his hands which had four beads still hanging off one wire. Taking out a pair of earmuffs and reading glasses he put them on, tipped the beads into his right paw, counted them and said, “About four princesses.”

Skipper went flying backwards and was pinned against the wall along with Pinkie screaming “Wheeeee!” as Twilight evolved into a Rapidash and yelled at the top of her Royal Canterlot Voice, “WHAT?! YOU JUST EXPECT US TO HAND OVER OUR POWER TO YOU?! ARE YOU CRAZY?!!!”

Discord was hanging onto a barber’s pole in the middle of the room, his body streaming out behind him like a windsock. Gilligan stood outside looking through the window with both hands over his ears and a look of amazement on his face.

“I wish I could do that,” he mouthed to himself since no one could hear anything over Twilight.

Twilight stopped for a breath of air, Discord took one earmuff off and said, “Yes, was there ever any doubt. However I don’t intend to keep your power, I was hoping I could merely borrow it for a little while.”

Discord let go of the earmuff and grabbed back onto the pole as Twilight inhaled deeply, bringing her head back, her front legs off the ground and her mouth wide.

Her front hoofs came down, her neck came forwards and… Nothing came out of her mouth.

“Woohoo,” said a quiet voice from the doorway and everyone turned to see Fluttershy, and three multicolored alicorns standing there.

“What happened?” Asked the Professor, dazed, from a corner of the room where Twilight’s voice had thrown him.

“Princess Celestia used her magic to put a spell of silence on Twilight,” said Fluttershy. Then when she realized everypony was staring at her she hid behind her hair and said quietly, “Oh, I’m sorry were you talking to me?”

“But Princess,” said Twilight, looking at Princess Celestia, “Discord expects us to-”
Celestia raised a hoof and said gently, “Yes, Twilight we heard.”

“You don’t expect us to actually-”

“Twilight you’re forgetting that Discord has reformed,” said Fluttershy, flying over to Discord and patting him on the shoulder.

“Indeed,” said Discord, “Why would I do anything to risk losing the magic of friendship.”

“To get all of our powers and take over Equestria… Again!” Said Twilight, flying into Discords face and pointing her hoof.

“Twilight,” said Cadence putting a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder and bringing her back down to earth, mentally and physically, “Calm down. Princess Celestia isn’t saying we should just trust Discord blindly. However it wouldn’t hurt to trust him a little.”

Twilight glared past Cadence at Discord who grinned and waved.

“Twilight!” said Cadence trying to get her attention. She put her hoof on her chest and drew in a long breath. Then she exhaled and extended her hoof out in front of her, visibly relaxed.

Twilight copied her and said, “Fine. I don’t trust Discord, but I trust you.”

“Oh goodie,” said Discord clapping his hands together, “Umm, I mean shall we get to work? Serious, very serious.”

Twilight gave Cadence a raised eyebrow and Cadence shrugged.

Gilligan came back into the castle, picked up another piece of lumber and began hauling it out of the closet.

Discord rubbed his hands together and said, “I suppose you want me to get everyone together by the boat to prepare to leave?”

Skipper spoke up, “We have to get the boat fixed first.”

“Oh don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of that in a snap,” he said snapping his fingers.

With that Gilligan dropped the second board on Skipper’s foot.

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.

Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Aww, It Was Just Getting to the Good Part

Big Macintosh didn’t even blink as seven humans, five ponies, four alicorns, a dragon and a draconequus appeared in the middle of the orchard right in front of the S. S. Minnow. Mary Anne and Apple Jack had just been standing right next to him so they had only moved about twenty feet to the right.

Skipper was jumping up and down on one foot and smacking Gilligan with his hat, while Ginger was talking to Rarity and the Howells were talking to each other.

When the Skipper was done berating Gilligan he turned to Twilight and said, “Don’t we have to fix it before we can go back home? I’d rather not be sailing back to port with those holes in the Minnow.”

Twilight turned to Discord and said, “Well Discord?”

Discord stepped forwards and with a flash of light he was wearing a suit and tie, a tool belt and a huge grin, “No problem Twilight. I’ll have this done in no time, all this boat really needs is… More Power!”

Twilight broke into Discords strange grunting spell with a quick, “I don’t think so Discord.”

“Hey,” said Pinkie, who was wearing a plaid flannel shirt, another tool belt and a rather disgruntled look, “I wanted to say that.”

Discord snapped his fingers and an exact duplicate of himself appeared next to the boat, set up a scaffold, took out a hammer, and began hammering on one side of the Minnow. After about three good whacks he moved to another side of the Minnow and repeated the action.

The true Discord turned back to the rest of the group, gestured to a strange pink timer with a slowly filling progress bar hovering over the vessel and said, “It’ll be done in about seventeen hours give or take a minute. Of course you could feed Spike a few gems and get the job done in no time.”

Everyone turned to look at Spike, who scratched his head and shrugged, “Hey, don’t look at me. I’m just as confused as you… However, I won’t stop you.”

Twilight glared at Discord and said, “Discord if they have to stay the night, they’re staying. With. You.”

“Oh fine,” said Discord, glowering. He snapped his fingers and his duplicate turned into a whirlwind. The Minnow was obscured behind a cloud of dust which quickly vanished along with the duplicate Discord to reveal a repaired Minnow.

“There, happy?” Said Discord.

“Very,” said Twilight, “Now get ready, you’re going to help Skipper and his friends go home.”

“We can’t leave yet!” Mr. and Mrs. Howell interjected.

“WHAT?!” Said everyone but Discord and Pinkie who were playing checkers.

“We were just talking to Miss Rarity who was telling us that you have gems here larger than anything we’ve ever seen back home. We’re not leaving until we get some to take home with us and set up a way to get back so we can start a company,” said Mr. Howell.

“Oh Mr. and Mrs. Howell how can you think about money at a time like this?” said Mary Anne frowning.

“Quite easily,” said Mr. Howell, “You can’t expect the Wolf of Wall Street to pass up an opportunity like this. Think about the gem mines we could open.”

“Sister?” Said Princess Luna looking to Princess Celestia, “Should I do it now?”

“Yes,” said Celestia.

“Uhh, what are ya gunna be doin exactly?” Asked Apple Jack.

“Well umm, Princess Celestia said that they can’t go home with the memory of us since bad things might happen… Sorry,” said Fluttershy in a soft voice.

“WHAT?!” Yelled Skipper, Gilligan and the passengers, “WHY?”

“Beings from another world with knowledge of this magnitude could have a catastrophic effect on the fabric of space and time if they were allowed to return home with it,” said Princess Celestia.

“Yah, who knows, you could all go ‘splody!” Yelled Pinkie waving her hooves in the air.

“Not even one little gem?” Asked Mrs. Howell politely.

“I’m sorry,” said Princess Luna, “However I assure thee, that while your memories of us shall be removed, any lessons you may have learned about friendship shall remain with you. Also, your minds shall fill in any memory gaps.”

“What about my notes?” Asked the Professor, holding up his journal.

“I’ll take care of that,” said Discord snatching the journal and quickly eating all the pages pertaining to ponies.

“HEY!” Snapped the Professor.

“What?” said Discord, his mouth full of paper, “You won’t believe what you wrote after you forget you wrote what you wrote anyway.”

“He’s got a point Professor,” said the Skipper, putting a hand on the Professor’s shoulder, “Come on, we should probably say goodbye.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice!” Yelled Pinkie and somehow managed to grab everyone and everypony but Princess Celestia and Princess Luna in one giant group hug.

After the hug was finished everyone and everypony broke apart, except for Pinkie who remained stuck to the Skipper and Gilligan, saying, “Don’t worry you two, I’ll never forget you. Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly stick a cupcake in my eye. And nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise… Everrrr!”

“O.K.” Said the Skipper prying Pinkie off the two of them.

“I’ll miss you, Grumpy- DUCK!”

Skipper ducked as Gilligan, who was loading the Howell’s luggage, swung a suitcase right over his head and onto the deck of the Minnow.

Skipper turned to Pinkie with a sad look on his face and said, “I’m REALLY going to miss you Pinkie.”

“Mrs. Howell,” said Princess Celestia with a raised eyebrow, “I’ll need that gem back now.”

“What gem?” Asked Mrs. Howell, trying to look innocent.

“The one in there,” answered Celestia levitating the gem out of Mrs. Howell’s purse.

“Well you can’t win them all,” said Mr. Howell taking Lovey by the hand and walking her up the gangplank.

“We shall require thine gems as well,” said Luna pointing to Mr. Howell.

“What are you talking about?” Asked Mr. Howell, smiling guiltily.

Luna’s horn glowed blue and Mr. Howell’s pockets turned inside out, revealing a cache of at least a dozen gemstones.

“Well you can’t blame me for trying,” said Mr. Howell, shrugging his shoulders.

“Prepare thyselves,” said Princess Luna, her horn glowing even brighter as she lowered her head. A glowing, blue orb began to take shape at the tip of her horn.

Just as Luna was preparing to send the orb at the Minnow, Pinkie jumped up and screamed, “NOT YET!!!”

With that, the orb exploded, sending a wave of magical energy across Ponyville. Everyone and everypony caught in the wave, except the alicorn princesses and Discord, froze with a vacant expression on their faces.

“What happened?” Asked Twilight, looking around.

“Pinkie Pie interrupted my spell, now I fear that all the ponies in Ponyville will also lose their memories of this event,” said Luna.

“What about my friends?” asked Twilight, staring at her friends who stood motionless staring into the distance, smiling in Pinkie’s case.

“They will also forget. However, perhaps it is best in this situation,” said Princess Celestia, “Who knows what knowledge like this could do to them.”

“But-”

“Twilight, as a princess sometime you must keep secrets for the safety of Equestria and all who dwell here.”

“Very well.”

“Discord,” said Princess Celestia.

“Can do. Will do.” Said Discord striking a dramatic pose.

The four alicorns gathered in a circle around Discord and lowered their horns at him.

“You know,” said Discord scratching the back of his neck and looking at all the horns focused on him, “This situation might possibly make me a little nervous.”

“Just get on with it,” said Twilight.

The alicorns’ horns began to glow and streams of light shot from them into Discord whose eyes turned white as he levitated off the ground with his arms up.

“Do it,” said Twilight, straining from the magic.

Discord clapped his hands together, there was a sound like a thunderclap, a shockwave imploded towards the S. S. Minnow and a hole opened up beneath the boat sending it plummeting downwards into the portal.

The Princesses released the magical connection and Discord floated back down to the ground, his glowing eyes fading.
“Can do. Will do. Done.” He said, smiling.

All the ponies in Ponyville awoke from their trances and went about their daily business as though nothing had ever happened.

Twilight looked at her friends and then headed back to her castle.

Apple Jack got back to work with her big brother while Rarity headed back to the Carousel Boutique and Fluttershy went back to her house to tend to her animals. Rainbow shot up into the sky and Pinkie… Stood stock still staring at the place where the Minnow had just been sitting.

She cocked her head to the side for one second and then said, “I hope that Grumpy is nicer to Gilligan from now on.”

Luna stared aghast at Pinkie and then at Princess Celestia, “Sister she-”

Celestia sighed and said, “Luna, some things even I can’t explain…”

The End

“No it’s not.”

Yes it is.

“Listen you, you, you… Authors I’ve lived through this whole story if anyone would know whether it’s over or not, it would be me. Check again in a little while. Don’t you go turning off your computer just yet. Hey-”

Author's Note

There it is, chapter 7. As usual...
We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.
However there is one reference in there which might be a little cryptic. If you can find it good for you.

Chapter 8 Author's Note

As usual...
We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.
However this chapter does make use of a large amount of dialogue taken straight from the pilot episode (Episode 12. Birds Gotta Fly, Fish Gotta Talk through a flashback) to add to the smooth flow of the narrative.
Everything in bold is taken straight out of this episode.

Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Pinkie Was Right.
“Well Duh.”

The Skipper awoke on the deck of the S.S. Minnow. He looked around. The Minnow had run aground last night on an island. He jumped off the side of the ship to look around. As he walked next to the boat, he whacked Gilligan’s knee, waking his little buddy up.

“Hey Gilligan… Gilligan!” Yelled the Skipper.

Gilligan sat up.

“Oh my gosh, man overboard. I’ll save you SKIPPEEERRRR!” Gilligan leaped off the side off the boat… right onto the sandy beach.

“Gilligan,” the Skipper said, hoisting him into a sitting position by the back of his belt, “The Minnow’s been beached.”

“BEACHED!” Gilligan squeaked, “But when the storm was over and it was calm you said we'd be home in no time.”

“It may take longer,” the Skipper said, keeping his voice low.

“But when the passengers wake up and want to get off at the marina, what are we gonna tell them?” Gilligan whispered as he pointed towards the boat.

“We’ll think of something.”

“How are we going to get home? Look at those holes.”

The Skipper raised his hat and Gilligan put his hands up in protection.

“No Skipper, I’m very happy to be here. I’m so happy, I could kiss the ground,” Gilligan bent over and kissed the sandy beach, “PPTTTHHH! This island tastes terrible.”

The Skipper rolled his eyes.

“Oh Captain!” Mr. Howell yelled as he and his wife came around the side of the Minnow, “Would you have your man remove our luggage from this vessel?”

“I’d be very happy to Mr. Howell. Where would you have it removed TO?”

“Oh someplace where the limousine can pick it up and take us to the nearest hotel.”

“That storm drove us hundreds of miles off course. This island doesn’t even appear on my navy charts!”

“Well you should have gotten your charts from a more reliable source.”

The Skipper bristled. “There is no more reliable source that the United States Navy!”

“Oh yes there is, The Sunny Brook Yacht Club! My outfit! Come along Lovey,” with that, Mr. Howell gave a little salute and started to walk off with Lovey.

Before they left, Mrs. Howell turned around, looked at the Skipper and said to her husband, “You know, I think someone ought to report him.”

“Well he will bear watching.”

With that, they left.

“Skipper,” said the Professor, running over from the boat, “Do you know what just happened? It appears as if our vessel crashed into a large coral outcrop, possibly the reef on which this atoll sits. The collision is undoubtedly what caused those holes and gouges in the side of the ship, which in turn caused the craft to run aground, isolating us in these inhospitable surroundings.”

“Professor, is it true you are really good in science?” Gilligan asked.

“Well I do hold several degrees,” answered the Professor, in a somewhat proud tone.

“Well why couldn’t you have studied more in English?”

“Gilligan, all I said is that we crashed on a reef and are now marooned on an island.”

“Oh.”

“I did notice something rather strange though,” said the Professor, pointing towards the boat, “The holes in the hull do not appear to have been caused by a collision with sharp corral. No they almost look like… Oh but that’s ridiculous.”

“What?” Asked the Skipper, leaning in towards the Professor in anticipation.

“Well, judging by the size, shape and placement of the damage, I would surmise that they were caused by blunt force impact,” as Gilligan opened his mouth the Professor restated himself, “Almost as if we were dropped right out of the sky.”

This morning we awoke to find we were marooned on a deserted island, wrote the Professor in his journal, Right now we are going through our luggage, to see what can be gleaned from our limited supplies.

The Professor stopped writing at the sound of Ginger’s exclamation.

“I don’t remember packing this dress!” She was holding up a long, beaded beige dress, with a look of confusion on her face, “However it does look nice.”

“Someone stole some of my gold coins!” Shouted Mr. Howell in anger, “And were did these bottles of wine come from?”

It would appear that we are suffering from slight brain trauma resulting in forgotten memories. Fortunately there are no other serious injuries.

The Skipper got up and walked over to the Howells, “There is one more place to check for supplies. Now I want you two to see what you can salvage out of the galley. Meanwhile Gilligan and I will explore the island. Gilligan?”

Gilligan came up from below deck wearing all manner of exploring gear and said, “I got the equipment right here sir, I knew we were going to need it.”

“Good work,” said the Skipper smiling, “Let’s get started.”

“Yes. Sir.” Said Gilligan saluting smartly and bringing his legs together.

There was a loud crash and Gilligan plummeted through the deck of the Minnow into the hold.

The Skipper, Mr. and Mrs. Howell ran over to a hole in the side of the boat to get a look at Gilligan and see if he was alright. They looked through the hole at Gilligan who smiled and gave the Skipper a feeble salute.

The Skipper grimaced and said, “Oh Gilligan. Wait there, I’ll give you a hand.”

As the Skipper got on board the Minnow to help Gilligan out of the hold he heard Gilligan say, “Skipper. Why is the hold filled with rock candy?”

Epilogue

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 5

Chapter 5: The Eggheads Have Been Doubled!

The Professor was astonished at the sheer volume of literary work which filled the walls of the library room in Twilight’s Castle.

“You live here?” Said Mr. Howell in a slightly shocked voice.

“Actually, this room is available to anypony since the town library was umm… relocated after an incident with an escaped convict,” said Twilight, wincing.

“Was there a big shoot-out?” Said Gilligan with boyish excitement.

“You could say that,” said Twilight with a pained expression on her face.

“Hmm,” said the Professor looking through some of the tomes on the shelves, “I think I have some of these books.”

He pulled one of the books off the shelf and looked at the title.

Integrated Calculus by Zimmermare.

“Never mind,” he said putting it back.

“Wow, did you ever see so many books in all your life Skipper?” Asked Gilligan walking towards the nearest shelf.

Skipper grabbed him by the shoulders and steered him gently away saying to himself, “Maybe we shouldn’t have left Pinkie behind.”

“Don’t worry Grumpy,” said Pinkie appearing out of nowhere and nuzzling Skipper’s knee, “I’m right here.”

“Ahhh!” Skipper yelled and jumped sideways away from the pink pony who sported a letter filled basket on her head, “Where did you come from?”

“Sugarcube corner, silly. I’m done with your big welcome party, and here’s your invitation,” said Pinkie as she presented the basket to Skipper and Gilligan.

Skipper and Gilligan leaned over the basket as Gummy surfaced amid the sea of letter with five invitations gripped in his toothless mouth. They drew back and stared at the crazy card-carrying reptile. Gummy looked back at them and slowly blinked asynchronously, as the letters remained fixed in his gummy grip.

“Well what are you waiting for?” said Pinkie, “Go on, Gummy doesn’t bite. Oh wait, yes he does but it never hurts.”

Skipper reached out tentatively and took the invitations which were addressed to the Howells, the Professor, Gilligan, himself and Twilight.

“Umm, thanks?” said Skipper, wiping saliva off the paper.

“Don’t mention it,” said Pinkie as Gummy resurfaced with another envelope clenched in his gums. Pinkie took it out of his mouth, “What? An invitation for me? Oh I’d be glad to come. After all what kind of a party would it be without me?”

The Professor stared at Pinkie and then said to Twilight, “We just left. How did she-”

Twilight rolled her eyes and said, “It’s Pinkie we’re talking about here. Trust me you’ll get used to it.”

After the Howells were situated in their rooms and Gilligan returned with their bags, Twilight and the Professor began the process of researching. Meanwhile Pinkie dragged Skipper and Gilligan out of the castle on something she called the “Practically-Perfect-Pinkie-Pie-tour-of-Ponyville”.

Skipper and Gilligan didn’t quite know what to make of it and were a little hesitant in hanging with the happily hyper pony until the Howells asked to join them on their excursion.

As they left Mrs. Howell turned to her husband and said, “Thurston do you suppose this is real sightseeing. Last time we did this was in that little town you asked the butler to build in our backyard, what was its name again?”

“Beverly Hills Dear,” said Mr. Howell with a chuckle.

“Oh yes, a lovely little place. Nowhere near the size of our mansion though. Oh and darling you did remember to bring our large and small change wallets. After all we don’t know what kind of currency these ponies accept.”

“I have it right here,” said Mr. Howell hefting a small satchel.

When they walked into the main street of Ponyville many of the ponies walking around stopped to stare at the newcomers. Up until now they had only really heard rumors from Pinkie about the huge party she was planning for the new guests to Equestria.

As they passed by a sales stall run by a purple pony with a strawberry and a bunch of grapes for a cutie mark Mr. Howell stopped for a minute.

The pony appeared to be sampling her own wares and when she saw Mr. Howell stop for a look she hastily corked the bottle and stored it under the stall.

“My name is Berry Punch, can I ‘hic’ help you?” she asked with a pleasant if somewhat goofy smile.

“Look Lovey, a new kind of bubbly,” said Mr. Howell.

“Oh Thurston, always the connoisseur,” said Mrs. Howell turning back towards the stall.

“What would you suggest?” asked Mr. Howell politely.

“My own brand is my personal ‘hic’ favorite,” said Berry Punch, passing Mr. Howell a small cup and pouring him a sample.

“Not bad, not bad at all,” said Mr. Howell after tasting it, “Very fruity, don’t suppose you have anything a little stronger though?”

Berry started to speak but was interrupted by Pinkie.

“Nope-dopy, we don’t have anything stronger than Berry Punch’s special brew, after all this story is-” she turned to look off into the distance and said in a deeper, and strangely serious stallion’s voice, “Rated ‘E’ for everyone.”

Mr. Howell looked at Skipper and Gilligan who just shrugged, and turning back to Berry Punch he said, “I think I’ll take a few bottles for the road.”

“Sure ‘hic’ thing mister,” said Berry Punch passing him three bottles as Mr. Howell took three large bills out of his money belt and handed them to the pony.

Berry stared at the bills for a second as if she didn’t really comprehend them and then said, “What are these ‘hic’?”

Mrs. Howell gasped and looked at Mr. Howell with wide eyes, “Thurston. They’re off the gold standard!”

“Oh no ‘hic’,” said Berry, politely handing back the bills, “We take gold. You just ‘hic’ use bits.”

“Well that’s a relief,” said Mrs. Howell, “For a minute there you had me worried. Looks like we’ll just have to dig into the large change wallet. Thurston?”

Mr. Howell smiled and reached into the small satchel he had with him, “One brick or two?”

With that Mr. Howell plunked a large gold brick onto the counter and waited for a reply from the purple mare who just sat there with her mouth hanging open and her eyes popping.

“H-h-how did you ‘hic’ carry that?” she gasped.

“Oh the Howell family has always had an affinity for gold,” said Mr. Howell as though it were nothing, “Finding, handling, accruing, spending, you name it and a Howell can do it with gold. It’s our special talent.”

“I’ve never seen a gold-carrying ‘hic’ cutie mark before,” Berry Punch muttered to herself.

“Yes, in fact when my father was only slightly younger than me he could lift well over two hundred pounds in gold,” said Mr. Howell, smiling, “I remember for my ninth birthday he got me a solid gold weight set. I got bored after a week or so, after all a hundred pounds of gold is chump change for me now.”

“I wish you could carry suitcases like you could carry gold,” Gilligan said, rubbing his still sore back.

“With this kind of change,” said Berry Punch, “You could buy my entire stock ‘hic’, for the next four years.”

“Well then,” said Mr. Howell putting the brick back in his ‘large change’ satchel and pulling out a smaller set of gold coins, “Take these and keep the change, after all I’ve got a million of them back home.”

“Yep, that’s why he’s called a millionaire,” said Gilligan, trying to be helpful.

“Indeed,” said Mr. Howell with a raised eyebrow, “Now, on with the tour.”

They left Berry Punch mumbling, “Mom always warned me this stuff would ‘hic’ give me hallucinations,” and continued the tour.

“You know, we should contact Princess Celestia,” said Twilight not long after the sightseers had left, “She and Luna are the most powerful creatures in all of Equestria, Spike, take a letter.”

Spike pulled out some parchment and a quill pen.

“Good grief! You mean that ponies still have not invented the ballpoint-pen? Here, Uh, Spike try this. I think you’ll find this much more efficient,” The Professor handed Spike the pen that he had been using to take notes.

“Whoa! This is nice!” Spike said as he inspected the pen.

“Now then. Dear Princess Celestia,” Twilight dictated as Spike wrote, “Earlier this morning some creatures called humans appeared in a boat at Sweet Apple Acres. I was hoping you might know how they got here and how to get them back.”

She sighed, “No, that’s all wrong. I just don’t know how to say ‘Gee Princess Celestia, I found some creatures that I’ve never seen before and I need you’re help figuring this out!” She collapsed into a chair.

“Is she always like this?” Asked the Professor.

“You should have seen her when she was tardy on her weekly report,” Spike said rolling his eyes, “Now look Twilight, this is fine. Add a little more to the letter and I’ll send it off.”

Twilight stood up and said, “You’re right Spike. Anyway, I have already… Uh… Sort of cleared Discord. He has an… Acceptable alibi, for Discord, anyway. I have begun an investigation to determine the guilty party. I shall keep you updated on my progress. As always, your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike rolled up the letter and blew a column of fire at it, sending the message to the princess at Canterlot.

“What did you just do?” Said the Professor, “Now you’ll have to write a whole new one.”

“No we won’t,” Said Spike, glancing at the Professor with a sideways look, “I just sent it.”

“But- It- Just- Fire- HUH? Fine, whatever…” Said the Professor, almost going back to the state of mind he’d been in when Discord was around.

“Anyway,” Said Twilight, turning to the bookcases, “While we’re waiting for her reply, let’s start researching.”

With that, she started levitating books off of the shelves. The Professor stared on in awed silence. Twilight began on a History of Equestrian Magic, while the Professor wondered where to start. He knew nothing of magic, so he picked up Introduction to Basic Magic.

An hour later, the Professor was beginning to grasp the basics of magic and Twilight was nowhere closer to discovering the magical culprit.

All the likely candidates have either been banished or destroyed, or, in the case of Discord, reformed. The Sirens, Tyrek, Nightmare Moon, all defeated. Plus, if a creature possesses magic strong enough to transport them here, why wouldn’t he or she try to take over Equestria? Then there is the universe in general. Nopony truly understands the universe. Fluctuations in time and space could have sent them here, I suppose. But I think it best if I explore all the alternatives before I assume anything.

After she had finished that thought she turned to see Spike belch. Princess Celestia’s reply!

Twilight levitated the rolled up parchment with the royal seal and opened it.

Twilight read the letter aloud, “My faithful student Twilight Sparkle, don’t write Discord off as innocent just yet. Remember that the creature that brought them here may not be from Equestria, in which case even I wouldn’t know about it. Thank you for your diligent studies, I can always count on you. Princess Celestia.”

Twilight lowered the letter, “I didn’t think of that. Princess Celestia might be right, a creature from your universe might have done this!”

“Highly unlikely” The Professor said, looking up from his book, “As far as we know, our universe lacks actual magic.”

“Then we’re back where we started,” Twilight said with a depressed look, “Let’s get back to the books.”

Author's Note

We do not own any of the rights to anything depicted in this story.
References, quotes, characters, lyrics, etc. all belong to their respective owners.