Author's Note

A few notes before you read

1. For all intended purposes, the events of Equestria Girls never occurred

2. This takes place toward the end of season 4, between the Equestria Games and Tireek returning. Again, for all intended purposes, there is a, lets say, 10 year gap between the two events until I write otherwise.

I ask that you bear with me for the first half. Its not that good, but I personally think the second half is a lot better.

Note: This story is copied over from my other account on Fanfiction.net, with edits done to conform to its rules an guidelines. If you want to read the original story, go there. The account is the same name.

Enjoy :)

Chapter 1: An Unexpected Visitor

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
2 hours later
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

He woke up. He was seeing double from the earlier migraine. He checked himself to see if anything was missing. Jet black hair, check. 2 arms, 2 legs, check. Black sweatpants, check. Navy blue zip up sweatshirt, zipped down as always. Pale skin, smelled a bit charred, but check. Black sneakers, check. Adidas gym bag... not checked. He looked around his surroundings. He seemed to be on the second floor of a...wooden house? Bah, I'll worry about it later. He found his bag sitting against the bed. Wait, bed? He was lying on a bed with purple sheets. What the hell is going on. He got out of bed

"Finally, your awake. Twilight wants to have a word with you" a high pitched voice said from behind him. He slowly turned around, seeing a small purple lizard on two feet. "Yo-your a..." he said, unable to conceive the image before him. The lizard spoke "A dragon? Yeah, name's Spike. Pleased to meet you." "A dragon..." He fainted. Before he blacked out again, a high pitched raspy voice, not belonging to the dragon, spoke to him.

Cloooose the rifffts.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
15 minutes later
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

He was starting to come to again. "I don't know what happened to him, he just passed out." It was the dragon talking to someone. A female spoke "It's fine, Spike, look, hes starting to wake up again. Just go downstairs and sort some books." He woke up, looking to the left to see a purple unicorn, no wait, it has wings. Alicorn, then? The alicorn had dark purple hair with a light purple streak in it, and a...tattoo on her ass? Of a... was that a star or a sparkle. The alicorn spoke "Hello, I am Princess Twilight Sparkle. And you are?"

"Kobold. Kobold Hosamen," he said.

"Well, Kobold, you have a lot of explaining to do. First, where are you from?"

Kobold said "Frankly, I have no idea. The last thing I remember is a green vortex and landing here, wherever this is"

Twilight said "Your in Ponyville. Next question. What are you? I've never seen your kind before, not even read about it"

"Human"

"Human, huh, I'll have to write that down." Twilight said "Well, I think you deserve a question. Go ahead, ask."

"Okay, then. Where did I crash and what happened after?"

"We found you outside of the Everfree Forest, then dragged you here and waited until you woke up."

"We?"

"Yes, we. Me and my friends Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash dragged you to my house. You actually almost plowed down Fluttershy's house"

"Damn."

"It's fine. She's a very forgiving pony"

"Well, what now?"

"I've notified Princess Celestia of what happened. She will be here soon to investigate. In the meantime, I should probably show you around Ponyville"

"Yeah, sounds like a good idea"

The two went downstairs into a...

"Library?" Kobold questioned

Twilight said "Yes, I live in a library. If you make ANY bookworm or nerd jokes, I will personally throw you out the window."

Kobold said "No no, I wasn't going to. In fact, I might come by here later to read up on the area."

"You and me are going to be good friends." Twilight said. "Spike, I'm going to show our guest around town."

Spike said "Okay, see you later"

The two left the library and...

Sweet. Jeff.

The town was completely inhabited by ponies. Entirely. The streets were inhabited with pegasi, unicorns, and regular ponies. All the houses were bright and colorful.

"Welcome to Ponyville" Twilight said.

Kobold stammered. "Um uh duh wha... Ponies...EVERYWHERE."

A few passing bystanders looked over and quickened their paces

"You miiiiiiight wanna keep your voice down, Kobold. Your getting looks." Twilight said

"Yea, sounds like a good idea." Kobold admitted.

Twilight said "Rarity's place is closest to here. Let's get moving."

"Yes, let's. I'm quite interested in meeting your friends." Kobold said

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Outside Carousel Boutique
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Twilight informed Kobold "This is it, Rarity's store"

Twilight and Kobold entered the boutique, and a small bell sounded off

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique," said a pure white female unicorn with a purple mane and...another ass tattoo, with 3 gems this time, from within the store, "were everything is chiq, unique, and, oh, hello Twilight dear. I assume this is the 'thing' that fell by Fluttershy's house?

"Yes, he is. His name is Kobold, and he identifies as 'human'. Kobold, this is Rarity, the town's fashion designer."

Oh dear Slender, Kobold thought, I gotta get of here. "Well, nice to meet ya. So Twilight, where's our next stop?"

"Wait, wait," said Rarity, "I wish to make you something. I just need to get your me-"

"NO," interrupted Kobold "NO FASHION. STAY AWAY FROM MY JACKET. KEEP YOUR MEASURING TAPE AWAY."

Rarity backpedaled from the comment "All I wanted to do is-"

"NO. AINT NOBODY GUNNA TOUCH MY JACKET" Kobold yelled again. Rarity began to tear up.

"Kobold, I think we should get going." Twilight said angrily. "Yea, we should probably get going." The two left the boutique.

"That was completely uncalled for, what you did back there," Twilight said to Kobold. "Well, I'm sorry, but... fashion just makes me fell...not right. My jacket is like a part of me, and someone trying to replace it, out of generosity..."

"Well, I see your point, but that's still no excuse to yell at Rarity like that!" Twilight exclaimed.

"I know, I know, and I'll find a way to apologize later. Right now, I'd like to see thee rest of your friends and why is that pink pony staring at me like that?" Kobold pointed to a pink pony with a poofy, slightly darker mane, along with a balloon for an ass tattoo. The pony in question stared for a few more seconds, gasped, jumped into the air, and dashed off at an impossible speed.

"Um, did I do something?" Kobold asked

"No no, Pinkie does that with everyone their first time in Ponyville. She going off to make you a party"

"A party?"

"Yes."

"With lots of ponies?"

"Yes, about half of the town at the least."

"Tonight?"

"Yes, tonight."

Kobold had a look of panic on his face. He had no idea why, but the thought of so many people in one place, and him at the middle of it, made him panicky. "OK, well, no point dwelling on it, let's get moving, who's next?"

"Well, the closest to here is Rainbow Dash."

"Good." They started walking"

"I've been meaning to ask, what's with all the ass tattoo's around here. Just about everyone has one. Is it 'in' or something?"

Twilight took some offense to the word 'ass tattoo', but replied "No, they're Cutie marks. They show what a pony is best at doing, their special talent, so to say. Sometimes it's specific, sometimes it's vague."

"Interesting..." Kobold said. He began to wonder if he has something on his ass. I'll check later, when there's not some many...ponies.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Rainbow Dash's House
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Twilight and Kobold aproched a cloud with...was that a house or a Greek temple? The house was made entirely out of clouds with Greek like columns and...rainbows pouring out of various places of the house. The physics of it were mindboggoling to Kobold. "Rainbow Dash," yelled Twilight, "You have a visitor." A cyan colored pegasus came out of the house. She had a rainbow colored mane and a cloud with a rainbow colored lightning bolt Cutie Mark.

"Hey, Twilight," said Rainbow Dash, "so this is the thing that fell from the sky, huh?"

"Yes, I am," Kobold said, "and I am very interested in the architecture of your house. Are those columns Greek?"

"Um, what?" questioned Rainbow Dash

Twilight chuckled nervously "He's not exactly...from here, as you could guess." "Yeeeaaa, he is kinda weird." Said Rainbow Dash.

"OK, we goin'? Were next?" Kobold said, beginning to get bored staring at Rainbow Dash's house.

"Closest place is Sweet Apple Acres. That's Applejack's place." Twilight said.

"Well, let's get moving. Tally ho. Allons-y." Kobold said

"Man, he is really weird." Rainbow Dash whispered out of earshot. "And what's with those light blue eyes? It's like he's starring into my soul."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/
Sweet Apple Acres
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Twilight and Kobold arrived at the apple orchard to be greeted by an orange pony with a blond mane and three red apples as a Cutie Mark. "Howdy, Twilight." She said with a southern accent "Is this the thing that fell from the sky?"

"OK, I'm getting tired of getting called 'thing'. I am a human, thank you very much. Name's Kobold. I assume your Applejack?"

"Yep."

"Well, another one off the list. So, who's next?"

Applejack took a bit of offense to this, but held back from making a comment. Twilight said "Well, last pony is Fluttershy. She's also close to the crash area, considering you almost plowed her house down."

"Two people I gotta apologize to in one day. I think that's a new record. So, which direction is it?"

"That way," Twilight pointed off into the distance. 'I've told every pony to meet us at the crash site. They should be there by the time we're done."

"Wait wait wait, whoa whoa," Said Kobold, "Isn't your pink friend busy with making the...party." He swallowed when he said party

Twilight said "Yes, but she'll find out you don't have a home yet, give up, and go to the crash site."

"Ah, that makes more sense" Said Kobold, "Well, what are we waiting for? Lets get moving."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Fluttershy's House
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

"Last stop, then the crash site, right?" Said Kobold.

"Yes. Now let me see if she's home" Twilight went to knock on the door. A pale yellow pegasus with a light pink mane and 3 light pink butterflies as a Cutie Mark answered the door. "Yes?" Fluttershy's said in a soft tone.

"Fluttershy, this is Kobold, the thing that fell from the sky" Twilight opened the door a bit to show Kobold. Fluttershy screamed and slammed the door shut.

"Um, does she always do that?" Kobold asked.

"It happens surprisingly often, yes. But not usually not like this," Twilight said. "But it probably has something to do with you almost destroying her house"

"Yeah, I could guess that," said Kobold sarcasticly. "Hmm..." Kobold took off his bag and looked through it and sweet mother of Jeff.

The bag. Was bigger. On the inside. It contained a large variety of objects, from mechanical to...are those roses? "Will these help?" Kobold pulled out the roses.

"Wwwwwwere did you get those?" Asked Twilight. Kobold showed her the inside of the bag. "Dear Celestia, Its..." "Bigger on the inside." Kobold finished

"Yes, I do think they will help." Said Twilight. Kobold knocked on the door again. Fluttershy slowly opened the door a crack, enough to see Kobold with the flowers. "There's no reason to be afraid." Fluttershy opened up the door ever so slightly more. "I'm really a nice guy, believe me. Here, these are for you." Kobold gave the roses. She deeply inhaled the scent of the roses. "I realize that this is probably off topic, but what's with that shack over there." Kobold sized toward a moderately sized wooden shack not too far away from Fluttershy's house. It seemed rather out of place. "Oh that? That's just an old shack. I technically own it, but I haven't used it in years. All it is now is an empty shack. Why do you ask?" "No reason, no reason." Kobold said. He had an idea formulating in his head.

"Anyway," Kobold said, "Didn't you say the crash site was nearby?" "Yes, right behind Fluttershy's house" Twilight said. Kobold said "Well, see you around, Fluttershy"

"You were suspiciously nice to Fluttershy. What gives?" Asked Twilight. Kobold responded "I wanted to make things right. I didn't purposly almost plow her house down."

"Eh, good enough"

/\/\/\/\/\/\
Crash site
/\/\/\/\/\/\

Twilight and Kobold had arrived at the crash site. It looked like a plane had crashed instead of a human. An enormous trench 7 feet wide and about 20 yards long stretched along the border to the nearby forest. Churned up dirt was everywhere. and the whole thing was barely 2 feet from Fluttershy's fence. Everyone of Twilight's friends were at the end of the trench, including one other. she was white and about twice the size of all the other ponies, with rainbow colored hair and a sun Cutie Mark. "Kobold, this is the princess Princess Celestia. Princess Celestia, this is Kobold, the thing that fell from the sky. He identifies as 'human'" Twilight informed.

Kobold raised one hand as a greeting and immediately put it down. "Hi. Now that everyone is here, I'd like to ask you all a question." All of the ponies heads leaned toward Kobold ever so slightly. "Strange thing, never before seen in this place, falls out of a portal and remains without injuries. What a normal person would do is lock that thing up and see what it was. Instead, you give it a bed to recuperate in, a tour of the town, and show it it's land site. It also took, what, 3 hours after the crash to get the highest authority to here? So, my question is, why? Why didn't you lock me up like your SUPPOSE to? Why did it take so long for the you to get here" Kobold looked at Celestia. "And most importantly, why did no one freak out over all of this. It seems like business as usual, when you'd expect, I don't know, full evacuation and everyone panicking?" When he finished, every one of the ponies, including the princess, began to think it over. It didn't seem like that big a deal at the time until he brought it up. They all said simultaneously "We don't know".

Kobold decided to deal with the issue at hand, which was how he got here. He walked past the line of ponies in the trench and continued on for a little. He looked into the sky and saw... he couldn't make up what he saw. It looked like green crackes in the sky, but how can that be possible? The sky isn't a solid object, so it can't crack.

Kobold began to ponder this, putting one hand to his chin and another under it for support. Cracks. Green. Cracks. Green. Before he could think any further, he could feel a ... tingling sensation. But the weirdest thing was it wasn't on him, but he could feel it outside of his body. More correctly, he could feel it in front of him, roughly 4 yards ahead of him. The sensation got stronger, and Kobold felt something dangerous coming. "Get. Back." Kobold whispered quietly to the ponies. "What?" most of them said. "GET BACK" Kobold yelled. The ponies began to inch backward, scared of what was to happen next. Green electricity began to spark in the area were Kobold felt the tingling. He backed up a few steps and inched his right hand toward his bag.

A shock wave rippled across the area and a green portal opened were the electricity was. Out of it came...

"You. Are one. UGLY. Motherfucker." Kobold remarked.

What came out of the portal was a true monstrosity. It stood on 4 spider-like legs and had the body of a morbidly obese man. Were it's head should be was a neck-hole with teeth lined with sharp, jagged teeth. A large mouth was mounted on its chest. The entire thing was a shade of fleshy pink.

"Who hit you with the fat and ugly stick?" Kobold laughed a little at his joke. The creature roared a deep, guttural roar. Celestia began to fire some form of magic lasers at the creature.

They bounced off of it like rubber, only enraging the creature further.

Kobold pulled out a small black tablet with a red button on it. He pressed the button down with a small click. He lifted the device to his mouth. "Team A: America." He threw the tablet to the side. When it hit the ground, a disembodied song began to play.

As the music was running, Kobold pulled out a pair of semi-automatic pistols. He fired the entire clips of both guns into the creature. They were able to do some actual, visible damage to it.

Kobold grabbed a small piece of metal from his bag. He squeezed it, and a 5 foot long sword unsheathed from inside it. Kobold ran up to the creature and slashed it with his sword. The creature roared again and lashed out with its stomach mouth. Kobold sidestepped its attack, but got nipped, and he slashed again at its sides.

Kobold grabbed his sword with both hands and dragged his sword across the creature back, making it roar in pain. It slumped to the group, but clearly still alive from the whimpering. Kobold pulled his sword out of the creature and walked toward the black tablet he threw to the side earlier.

The song went into heavy drum/guitar, signaling that it was near the end. Kobold picked up the tablet. "Eat this, fat ass." He threw the tablet into the creature's neck mouth. Right as the song ended, the tablet exploded inside the creature in a spectacular bloom of fire. Blood and various pieces of gore rained near the blast zone.

Kobold turned around to see all of the ponies with dropped jaws. He began to scratch the back of his neck. "Uh, hehe, yeah, I don't know what happened there. Instinct just kicked in and-" "If that thing had gotten away, it would have destroyed the entire town." interrupted Twilight. "I may not have agreed with your methods, but seeing that thing, what you did was necessary. For what you've done, we are grateful for." Everyone of the ponies bowed their heads. Even Celestia gave a small nod of approval.

"Kobold, do you know were this creature came from, or what it is?" asked Celestia. Kobold began to inform her "I can't answer your first question, but I can answer the second one. That thing was called the Glutton. What it normally does its stalk its next meal at night. I've never heard of it doing this." "One more question" Said Celestia. "Yes, What it is"

"How do you know this?"

Kobold pondered the question for a moment, and then came to the conclusion

"I dunno. It's weird, I can remember facts about things, but I can't remember how I know them. It's maddening, I tell ya." Kobold began to look at the remains of the Glutton. "However, their might be something in there-" He pointed to the remains "-that might give us something to look into. Who's with me?" Kobold looked at the ponies, but all of them looked objectively to the idea of them approaching the blasted remains of the creature that could have destroyed the town "Suit yourself."

Kobold walked up to the remains. It reeked of rotten flesh. Probably from its last meal, thought Kobold. He searched through the gore, flipping over spider legs and chunks of fat man. He wasn't able to find anything, just blood, gore, and more blood. Just when he was about to give up, he spotted something on the edge of his vision. A piece of paper. That's strange thought Kobold, if it has something made of paper, it should have been incinerated in the explosion. He walked towards the paper to see that it had some writing on it. It was crudely drawn, depicting a tall man in the middle of a forest. Kobold turn the paper over to see two words written on the back in the same crude fashion as the front.

Perception Filter

The paper began to crumble into dust starting from were Kobold was holding it. It continued to crumble until it was nothing but a pile of ash. When it finished crumbling, Kobold felt a surge of energy flow from within his body, starting from his hands and spreading throughout. When it was done, Kobold felt invigorated, like he could run a marathon. The wound from the battle with the Glutton faded into nothingness. But he still hadn't found what he was looking for, a clue as to were this thing come from.

He began to walk back to the group, saying that he had found nothing, not mentioning the paper. "I have a couple theories on were the Glutton came from. First is that it's from another dimension. Second is...well, I'd rather not say to raise panic." The ponies immediately began to have panicked looks on there faces. "But while I'm here, I'm probably going to need a place of residence..." Kobold looked in Fluttershy's direction. "Fluttershy, you said that your not using that shack, right?" "Y-yes, but..." "But?" "Well, I may need it soon, or-"

"Still scared of me, huh?"

Fluttershy nodded.

"And I'm guessing what I just did was no help?"

She nodded again

Kobold began to think. "Give me a second" Think, you magnificent bastard, think. How do you get this pony to not be afraid of you. Think, think think think, IDEA. Kobold lowered his butt until his ass was about 3 inches off the ground. He then crossed his arms, and then began to throw his legs outward whilst singing

"Moscow, Moscow

I don't know the frickin' words

I don't know the frickin' words

ahahahaha

HEY

Moscow, Moscow

I don't know the frickin' words

I don't know the frickin' words

ahahahaha

HEY"

Fluttershy began to laugh at the display. "OK, I'm less scared, but your still kind of scary." Damnit, so close. Cmon, think, you intelligent fucker, THINK. This shack is just what I need, but you need to get the landlord to NOT be afraid of you. Think of something else funny and random. Kobold took off his bag and began to rummage through it for an idea. He started to throw random objects out of it, including a pill container, 3 television remotes, the old style television those remotes went to, a " rock n' sock em" robots toy, and a package of lightbulbs. He eventually pulled out a big red plastic button with the words 'I have no idea' on the top in white

"What's that thing do" asked Pinkie.

Kobold pressed the button, and then a german accented voice came from the it, eclaiming ...

"I HAVE NO IDEA"

Everyone laughed a little at that.

Funny, but not good enough

Kobold continued to search through his bag, but didn't find a single thing that would remedy his situation. "Cmon, cmon, cmon, cmon, you infernal bag, produce SOMETHING."

"You really want that shack, don't you?" Said Fluttershy.

"Yes, I mean, look at it. Its perfect."

"But its just an old shack"

"I can appreciate something few others can, plus, is there any real estate available"

"Well...no" "So, I don't get you not afraid of me, I don't get the shack. I don't get the shack, I'm outside tonight"

"W-well, when you put like that" Fluttershy began to think of the consequences of letting Kobold have the shack. "W-well, i-if you promise not t-to do anything scary..." She paused for a second "You can have it"

Kobold looked up from his bag and stared at Fluttershy for a moment. "You'd let a creature you know nothing about, which you just saw maim another unknown creature not five minutes ago, live a shack that's directly next to you. This is a kindness never before seen by... anyone, really. You have my greatest thanks."

"Y-your welcome."

Kobold began to walk off towards the shack, leaving the others behind.

He began to think back to the only phrase he could remember when he came here. The same one that echoed in his head before he passed out.

And he agreed with them.

Well, at least partially.

FINALLY got this done. It took me alot of time, mainly because of procrastination, me not always wanting to write, writers block, and a plethora of other reason. For these same reasons, chapters may not always come out very frequently. I write when I feel like writing. Also, I'd like to say this; I will not be doing any form of "shipping" over the course of this fanfic, before you may or may not get that idea in your head. I do not plan to, and the only way I will EVER do any shipping is if I get 100 positive reviews saying I should. Yes, I'm the adamant about this. Closest thing I'll do is close friendship. Anyway, I think that's all. To be continued...

P.S. if your going to be blunt, leave a warning. Otherwise, I'll consider you a troll.

Copyright claim: I own absolutely nothing in this fan fiction aside from the OC Kobold Hosamen. Insert other copyright stuff here, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.