EQSP

The next morning, Cobalt was awakened by the feeling of his face impacting the hardware floor in his living room. The hours it took to unpack everything last night had left him too tired to climb up the stairs to his bedroom, so he had simply collapsed on the couch that came with the building. Evidently this was a bad idea, as he had rolled over to find not more couch, but air and a decidedly uncomfortable oak floor.

Groaning, the stallion brushed his relatively long vivid blue mane with one hoof until it reached the swept-back look he normally wore. Donning his saddlebags, he gazed wistfully at the tiny kitchen that held all manners of food. There'll be time to eat later, he thought. Right now, it's time to get to work. No matter how hungry you are.

Walking bravely out the door, he was almost immediately bowled over by a dark grey pegasus hurtling through the air just a few feet off the ground.

As Cobalt lay on the ground with a splitting headache, utterly at a loss to explain what just happened, the pegasus stallion bounced up from the road, hardly even fazed. "What was that? Did I hit a mailbox again? Wait...that wasn't a mailbox. That was a pony! Hey!"

He bounded over to Cobalt, pulling the dazed earth pony to his feet. "Terribly sorry about that. Sometimes I forget to look where I'm going. Most ponies hear me coming, though."

Cobalt groaned and massaged the side of his head. "Doesn't matter. I should look before I go around opening doors and walking."

Missing the sarcasm entirely, the pegasus just grinned. "Yeah, that's a good idea. Name's Thunderlane, by the way. What's yours?"

"Cobalt Frost. I'm new he--wait, you're Thunderlane?" Cobalt asked, suddenly remembering something from the personnel files he had been given.

Thunderlane raised himself to his full height, a proud smile gracing his face. "The one and only!"

Cobalt held out a hoof to shake. "Looks like we're going to be working together, Trooper. I've been transferred here as your post's new sergeant."

Thunderlane's smile went up a few more notches. "Really? Great! We need somepony else around here. Come on, I'll show you to the post!"

The walk there was primarily a one-way conversation, as Thunderlane told him everything anypony would ever need to know and more about Ponyville, its citizens, and most prominently Thunderlane himself. The pegasus was about halfway through his life story when he stopped and cried, "There it is! Equestria State Police Post Thirty-Six!"

The building in question was a midsize two-story building structured like every other one in Ponyville, namely wooden-framed with whitewashed panels in between. A large plate window emblazoned with the police logo and the post name was set into the front, and a large awning on one side shielded a pair of blue-painted carraiges.

Well, Cobalt Frost thought, it could be worse. At least they have a functioning building to work out of.

"Come on, let's go meet the others!" Thunderlane dashed off in the direction of the post, leaving Cobalt in the dust. As he started to follow, Cobalt felt his face settle into the same thin-lipped deadpan expression he had worn for the past few months. Well. Let's get going, then.

The charcoal earth pony pushed open the door to the post, his trained gaze flicking about the small lobby. Behind a thick pane of glass was the desk sergeant's position, which was currently held by a sky-blue male unicorn. Upon seeing Cobalt and Thunderlane's entrance, he hoofed a large button next to the desk's microphone. His voice rang out from the intercom, marred by static:

"So you're the new patrol sergeant? Fantastic. Call me Notch, Top Notch. I run a tight ship around here. Doesn't matter where you came from, it doesn't make you any better in my eyes. Try and keep the lone-wolf stuff to a minimum, no matter what Thunderlane tells you."

Top Notch glanced at a note tacked to one wall. "Looks like you'll be his partner in crime, Frost. He'll show you around and get you ready to go out. Isn't that right, Trooper?"

Thunderlane's head bobbed up and down like a paint shaker. "Yes, sir! Come on, Sarge, let's go meet everypony else!"

The only thought running through Cobalt's head as he was dragged bodily towards the locker room was Fantastic, now I get to spend every day with Eager McBeaver over here.

There was a low crash as Frost was thrown through the door to the locker room. Every head in the room turned and looked at the unlucky earth pony and inexplicably chipper pegasus.

Thunderlane was practically bouncing by now. "Hi, everypony! Come meet the new sergeant!" He grabbed Cobalt's head and pointed it towards a pair of tan earth stallions, both with the same cutie mark: a pair of cherries. They nodded in unison as Thunderlane introduced them.

"Say hello to Cherry Coke and Cherry Strudel! They're our carraige division." He leaned towards Cobalt's ear and whispered, "They're twins, but you wouldn't know it from looking at them, right?"

The only thing that was different about the two was the color of their manes: One blue, and one pitch-black. Cobalt's eyes narrowed. "Thanks, Thunderlane."

The aforementioned pegasus cast a hoof in the direction of a burnt-umber stallion that seemed preoccupied with disassembling a flashlight. "That's Oak, our other foot patrolman. Not the most talkative, but he sure can tell a joke when you get it out of him!"

Oak looked up briefly and mutely waved a single hoof. Head still pinned, Frost returned the gesture.

The door to the locker room swung open, revealing a sky-blue pegasus in a heavy brown coat. Her navy-blue mane was scattered across her forehead haphazardly, and the badge on her coat read, "DETECTIVE, EQSP." She cast her gaze about the room before saying, "Now what's going on in here?"

Thunderlane's pupils narrowed to pinpricks. His hooves scrabbled on the tiles for a few seconds before he regained control and stammered out, "Good--Good morning, D-Detective!"

The detective and Cobalt watched this scene bemusedly before she turned to Frost, offering a hoof to shake. "You're the new pony on the job, aren't you? Blue October, great to meet you. Frost, isn't it?"

Cobalt took the hoof. "Exactly. A pleasure."

October turned her head towards Thunderlane, who was sitting straight up on the tiled floor, pinprick eyes locked towards the wall. She chuckled quietly. "Well, I should probably leave you to this goof. See you around, Sergeant."

Once she walked back out, Thunderlane collapsed against the wall, chest heaving. For the first time in a long time, the barest hint of a smile played about Cobalt's lips. He nudged the young pegasus. "You've got the hots for the Detective, don't you?"

Thunderlane's face flushed a deep red. "D-definitely not. Why would you say that?"

The earth stallion's eyebrows hiked up another notch. "No reason. I guess it was just my imagination. Come on, we have a patrol to get to, right?"

The dark-gray pegasus jumped into the air. "R-right! Yeah! Come on, I'll show you where we keep the gear. Better start walking the beat soon!"

And so, a pair of deep-gray stallions in police blues walked through the streets of Ponyville just a few minutes later. Strolling along the main street, one turned to the other:

"So, Sarge, what's your story? What brings you to little ol' Ponyville?"

Cobalt waved a hoof dismissively. "Bah, my story isn't important. I'm more interested in what a pegasus is doing living in a earthbound town."

"Yeah, that's a good question. It's not like there's anypony in my family that couldn't manage flying up to a cloud house. But our old house has been in the family for generations. Nopony ever has the guts to move out!"

"Hmm. Makes sense."

Before Thunderlane could respond with another question, one of his saddlebags started crackling. Top Notch's voice rang out of the radio inside: "Thunderlane. Frost. Looks like there's been a break-in at the club on Rose Street. Intruder's long gone, but one of the morning shift just came in and found the DJ there, a pile of broken glass, and no speakers. Go check it out."

The two officers glanced at each other. Thunderlane let a devious smile crawl across his face. "Race you there?"

"You're on."

The pegasus launched himself into the air, rocketing off towards Rose Street. Cobalt glanced at him to judge which way the street was, then broke off in a dead sprint.

Thunderlane soared over Ponyville, laughing to himself. Nopony on hooves could ever beat him in a race! Glancing downwards, he angled himself into a steep dive towards the club. He flared out his wings just above the ground, coming to a dead stop on the sidewalk. He pushed open the door to the nightclub, trotted inside--

And crashed solidly into Cobalt.

A few gears spun confusedly in the trooper's head. "Wha-- but-- What?"

Frost pulled the pegasus to his hooves. "This old stallion still has some tricks left in him. Let's go see what the damage is." He walked over towards the club's lobby, leaving an exceptionally confused Thunderlane a few hoofsteps behind.

Inside the lobby, a stone-gray earth mare stood worriedly near the door to the club proper. Upon seeing them, she cantered up. "Officers! Thank goodness you're here. I don't know what's gotten into her!"

Cobalt became all business. "Whom? And what's wrong with 'her?'"

The mare laid a hoof on her forehead. "The DJ, Vinyl Scratch. I came in here a few minutes ago, and found her passed out on the floor with her turntables missing. When I got her awake, she--she started speaking in tongues!"

Thunderlane spoke up. "I, uh...What? Anything you recognized?"

She shook her head. "It almost sounded like...well, you'll see. She's just inside. Excuse me if I stay here. I just can't stand seeing my best friend this way."

The sergeant coughed politely. "Right then. Thunderlane, with me."

"Right."

The main room of the club was in disarray. Along with the residue of a long night of partying, one blacked-out window behind the DJ booth was shattered. Instead of the usual speakers and turntable in the booth, nothing more than broken glass and a few stripped wires lay there. In the middle of the room, there lay a white unicorn with bright red eyes, who seemed to be curled up in a small ball. When she saw them, the unicorn, presumably Vinyl Scratch, sat up and began to speak. Instead of Equestrian, though, her voice called out something that usually was only heard from a synthesizer. Electronic whoops and crackles punctuated an undertone of long, drawn-out bass notes. She continued this tirade for a while, before Thunderlane turned to Frost.

"What in the hay--"

Cobalt silenced him with an upraised hoof. He listened for a few seconds, before speaking in a low register.

"You wouldn't happen to be able to drop a beat, would you?"

Absolutely lost, the pegasus only shook his head. Sergeant Frost noticed this, and his jaw set. "Well. I'll have to do this on my own then. Stand back."

The tall earth pony strode up to the chattering unicorn. Forgoing all courtesy, he grabbed Vinyl's head with both forehooves. He waited for the "speech" to stop, before his voice replaced hers.

"Bzzzzzzzzz. Rrrrrrrr chchchchchchch vvvvvvvvvvvvvnnnnnnnnnvvvvvv. Wub wub wub wub wub wubwubwubwubwub srrrrchhhhhh?"

After a few seconds, recognition dawned in the DJ's eyes. Her voice started up its song again:

"Screeeeeeeeeeeeeee. HvvvvvvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV eeeeeet brrrrrrrt wubwubwubwubwubwub wub!"

Thunderlane's jaw sank closer and closer to the floor as the two ponies had a conversation in sounds more similar to those made by broken speakers than vocal cords. After a few minutes of "questions" and "answers," Cobalt turned and waved the pegasus over. Once he arrived, Thunderlane only had one thing to say.

"What."

Frost looked embarrassed. "She reverted to her birth language. It's a common reaction in traumatic situations."

"How."

"I took a correspondence course in college. Long story. Get your notepad out, I've got an eyewitness report to relay."

Thunderlane fumbled with the pencil in his teeth as he attempted to write out Cobalt's translation of the events last night. Pausing for a moment, the sergeant glanced over at the pegasus' handwriting. He hissed in a breath through his teeth. "Celestia above, Thunderlane. Looks like somepony failed penmanship in school."

The trooper fumbled to keep everything in balance and still usable. "Don't judge me."

"Too late. Looks like you're all done for writing though. Anything else, ma'am?"

"Vzzzzzzz rrrrrrrchchchchch wubwubwubwub."

"Excellent. Don't worry, we'll get right on this case. Thunderlane, let's get back to the post."

A low murmur of voices punctuated the quiet of the post.

"Why? Seriously, why?"

"Because it's her job. She needs evidence in order to catch criminals. We have evidence. You need to give it to her. Simple as that."

"But why me?"

"Because you've got an insane crush on the Detective and that needs to be handled somehow. If you can't talk to her, you might as well give up now."

"Uh. I still don't know about this."

"Look, enough talk. You're going in there."

Thunderlane's hooves made a soft screeching noise as he was bodily pushed into Detective October's office, with his notepad clutched in his teeth. October looked up from a stack of papers on her desk and smiled thinly.

"Thunderlane. What brings you to my humble office?"

He was currently making his best effort to avoid looking at the detective, whilst also trying to examine her every move. The gray pegasus did an awkward half-step into the room, holding onto his notepad so tight that it was starting to collapse. Suddenly, he realized October had asked him a question quite a while ago, and was now awaiting an answer.

"I, uh," he began. "I...yeah. Evidence. From the break-in. I...here." He dropped the pad on a nearby table and prepared to scoot out the door. Blue October raised a hoof to stop him.

"Hold on now, mister, you're not getting off that easily. Walk with me to the copy room."

"Uh," was his only response as she retrieved the pad and headed towards the door. Finally, a few brain cells caught on and started moving him out with her. Okay, play it cool, he thought. Nopony needs to know this was a setup. Just roll with it.

The illusion was firmly shattered when October walked out and ran into Cobalt, who was doing his best to act like he was a part of the scenery. The shorter pegasus gazed up at Frost, the pony currently sipping coffee and resolutely looking in the opposite direction. Shrugging, she gestured to Thunderlane.

"Come on, trooper. Let's go."

"Uh."

As the pegasi left, Sergeant Frost let the beginnings of a smile play across his lips. "Ah, young love," he remarked. "Quite a sight to see, isn't it?"

Across the way, Oak was preoccupied with tearing apart a microfilm reader. He looked up and locked Cobalt with a gaze that said I have no idea what you're talking about.

The charcoal earth pony clapped his forehooves together. "Right. Well. Looks like I have some more...work to get to. See you around, Oak."

Oak watched him leave in the same direction the others left. A few seconds later, he went back to the destruction of the projector. Did he say something?