Misunderstanding
Rarity took another dainty bite of her daffodil sandwich before setting it back on her plate. Most of the sandwich was still there; however, a quick glance at her friends’ plates told her that everyone else was almost done eating. Rainbow Dash had practically gobbled hers down in “ten seconds flat.”
Still a proper lady did things the proper way. That meant tiny little bites. Sometimes the bites had to be so small, she was not sure she had eaten anything at all. With her magic, Rarity lifted up her napkin and dabbed it at the corner of her mouth. She understood why high society was hard for pegasi and earth ponies, she really did. Proper etiquette, truly upstanding manners worthy of nobility, were all but impossible without magic.
Of course, she thought wryly, that did not mean all unicorns had the grace and poise of a lady. She glared across the table at her friend Twilight Sparkle who had a splotch of some sort of food product on her nose. It shocked Rarity just how appalling Twilight’s table manners were. In fact, as Rarity thought about it, Twilight’s manners in general were sub-par. Certainly, when the other unicorn was collected and thinking about things, she was the politest little thing.
However, given the slightest hint of pressure, Twilight turned into a grouching raving madmare without a hint of grace. Rarity could not count the number of times she had seen Twilight wandering Ponyville half asleep from an all nighter, bumping into ponies as she stumbled, not uttering a word of apology.
And Twilight should certainly apologize for that manedo of hers.
It was a shame, was what it was. Out of everypony at the table Twilight had been raised in the most upstanding of environments. She grew up in Canterlot. Her parents were minor nobility, and her brother was the captain of the royal guard. Her foal sitter was a princess. Her teacher was The Princess, for Equestria’s sake! Just the other day, in fact, Princess Celestia had traveled to Ponyville to cheer up a grumpy Twilight. How had Twilight ended up in such a state with every possible role model of upstanding grace and poise?
Rarity’s musings were broken when she heard Applejack changing the topic of conversation from whatever banal thing Rainbow Dash had been blathering on about to something that caught her ear.
“Twi, do you think the Princess would appreciate that?”
“What?”
The earth pony let out an exasperated sigh before answering in her typical drawl, “If you’re going to make me say it… Ya were staring at that stallion’s flank.”
Twilight flushed red at being caught in the act.
“I wasn’t- why would the Princess care if I’m looking at a stallion?”
“Ah know some ponies say that they feel they should be free to look, but it seems like the Princess would be more old fashion than that. Ah always think a pony should be faithful.”
“Applejack what are you talking about?”
“Now sugarcube, ya know what I’m sayin.”
“I really don’t have the first clue as to what you mean.”
Rarity only had to wonder for a moment if Applejack was going to venture into what they had all agreed was “forbidden” territory. A frustrated growl from the farm pony told Rarity before any words, that Applejack had indeed made the decision to cross the rubicon.
“Ah mean, we all know about you and the Princess.”
Now there was just a look of confusion on Twilight’s face, the poor dear.
“Twilight, we’re your super duper best friends in the whole wide world. If it’s supposed to be a secret that’s OK. We’ll Pinkie Pie Promise not to tell anypony ever. And you know how serious that is. It would mean a whole lot to us if you could trust us enough to tell us… Unless you Pinkie Pie Promised to not tell anypony… If that’s the case just shake your head. No wait- if you do that, then we will know that you promised not to tell, which means that we will know, and you will know that we know, and you will have broken your promise-”
Twilight, thankfully, cut Pinkie Pie off, “Girls, I really don’t know what you are talking about.”
Rarity shifted in her seat and glared at Applejack for starting the whole mess. Unfortunately it seemed like cleaning things up once again fell to her.
“Dear, I think what Applejack and Pinkie Pie are trying to say… Oh how do I put this delicately. For some time now we’ve known, or at least suspected, that you and the Princess are -”
“Banging Horns!”
Twilight fell out of her chair backwards at Rainbow Dash’s accusation, and Rarity simply sighed. No poise, none of her friends had any poise at all.
“That’s ridiculous! Why would anypony think that?”
A quiet sound came from Fluttershy.
“What?”
Another mumble.
“Darling, you need to speak up if Twilight is going to hear you.”
“Nightmare Moon…”
“What does Nightmare Moon have to do with this?”
“Well, Ah reckon that it was about what happened afterwards more than anything else. The next day after that whole there Nightmare Moon incident we were all talkin’ about you, and-”
“Wait. You girls were talking about me behind my back.” Rarity wanted to sigh at the hurt glimmer of betrayal in Twilight’s eyes and the angry arch of her forehead, but exasperation would not help the situation. Luckily it seemed, that Applejack was ready to head things off at the pass.
“Now, hold on a minute, sugarcube. We were still trying to figure you out. You just plopped yourself down in our lives, and you have to admit, you are a mite strange.”
“Okay.” Twilight’s pout and her crossed hooves did nothing to lend her any air of grace. “So you were all talking about how weird I am?”
“No, you totally rocked dealing with Nightmare Moon’s return. We were talking about how awesome you were... Well, and how weird you were, but I sorta had you pegged as an egghead from day one anyways. But then the Princess came up.”
“You see sugarcube, you and the Princess, well, you just seemed a bit affectionate was all.”
“I hardly see how-”
“Yeah! I mean Princess Luna had just been freed from over a thousand years of madness and being mean old black snooty. It was the first time Princess Celestia was seeing her sister again in like, forever. But what was really super duper important to her was YOU! The very first thing she did when she showed up was nuzzle you.”
“And one does not simply nuzzle the Princess, and even if one would nuzzle the Princess, dear, it was a tad bit long to be proper.”
Twilight threw her hooves up into the air. “So what we nuzzled! I nuzzle the Princess all the time. OK, well, that probably doesn’t help my case, but I nuzzle other ponies. Mom, Dad, my BBBFF, Cadence, Spike, everypony here has nuzzled me at least once!”
“Twilight dear, there is no reason to be upset. We are all friends here. There is no need to make a commotion.”
“It’s just the very idea of the whole thing is crazy. Crazy ponies came up with it. You are all crazy ponies.”
“Shucks Twilight, Ah didn’t mean to upset you none-”
“So this is just all over one nuzzle?”
“A really hot nuzzle.”
Rarity glared at Rainbow Dash.
“More- more, than just one nuzzle… I’m sorry.”
“Fluttershy is right sugarcube. The two of you are always nuzzling. It’s a bit embarrassing if Ah’m going to be honest, which Ah am.”
“And Darling, just look at all the times the Princess just stops into Ponyville for a visit. Why other ponies are even starting to get used to her royal presence.”
“Or all of your trips to Canterlot. You’re always super-duper excited, and like, ‘I’m going to get to see the Princess!’”
“Then when we went to the Gala, we all had our big dreams about what would happen that night. Totally amazing life changing dreams really. At the time I thought your’s was kinda lame, but after talking with AJ, it made sense. You wanted to spend the whole night next to the Princess, your special somepony. AJ reminded me about how Rarity had been going on about how the Gala is often considered a romantic party.”
“You are all reading way too much into all of this.”
“Though, methinks the lady doth protest too much.”
“Yeah, whatever Rarity just said.”
“I will explain why it is crazy. Me and Princess Celestia, like that? That’s just weird. Smacking horns-”
“Banging horns. Gosh, you’re such a dork.”
Rarity glared at Rainbow Dash. The first time she had said it, Twilight’s lack of balance had been the larger embarrassment. But the Pegasus might as well have been standing on the table shouting out the crude term.
“Why is it weird? Is it because the Princess is like a second mother to you? Because she was always tucking you in and reading bed time stories and singing you lullabies. Were you always playing games and running around, dressing up in her crown and gold necklace thingy-”
“It’s called a torc, dear... Or a peytral, depending on whom you ask.”
"Dressing up in her crown and makeup and torg thingy, and then pretending to be her? So when Dashie said you were banging horns, it was like we had said you were banging your mother, and then you thought about that, and that’s why you fell down?”
There was a moment of silence, and Rarity was surprised to see a blush on Twilight’s face as the lavender unicorn was staring down at her hooves.
Rarity could barely hear Twilight mutter a few faint words. “Why does everypony always assume…”
Twilight looked up, her voice more confident than the mumbles of a moment ago. “Okay girls, I guess I haven’t really talked much about my life back in Canterlot, or my relationship, or rather lack thereof with the Princess, so I guess it makes sense you are all confused.”
“What… What do you mean, if you don’t mind me asking?” Rarity was not sure if Twilight even heard Fluttershy, but the lavender pony continued her story regardless.
“Everypony always seem to think that the Princess and I are like mother and daughter. Well, I have a mom. Her name is Twilight Velvet. The Princess was my teacher and nothing more. Yes, when I moved to the castle there were nights when she would tuck me in or read me a story, usually after a late lesson. But just as likely it would be Cadence, some other member of the castle staff, or even Shining sneaking over from the barracks tucking me in. When Dad worked late he would try to swing by the castle on the way home from the observatory to say goodnight. The Princess was nice, but it wasn’t like she adopted me. For the most part I just saw her once a day for lessons and spent the rest of my time in the regular classes with the other unicorns. The Princess did have a kingdom to run after all.”
“Twilight darling, when I was younger I used to love reading magazines about all the going-ons in Canterlot. I still read a few of them to help keep the pulse of things. It was well known that Princess Celestia would have her evening tea with her personal student every day and that a certain unicorn filly would always accompany the Princess on her strolls through the Royal Gardens. Some of those gossip rags even suggested that she had unofficially adopted you as heir apparent.”
Now it seemed that it was Twilight’s turn to mumble inaudibly.
“Could you say that again… That is if you don’t mind. I’m sorry. It’s my fault I couldn’t hear you...”
“I said that I’m - I was bad with personal boundaries.”
“Huh?”
“I was the Princess’s personal student, which was the best thing ever. But it took me a while to really understand what that meant. There was this one day when I messed up a spell and it turned me pink. I wanted to get the Princess’s help reversing it, but our next study session wasn’t scheduled for two days because the high council was in a deadlock. Well, I certainly couldn’t just walk around being all pink-”
“Hey, what’s wrong with being pink? Pink is a great color. Why if I wasn’t pink-”
Rarity gave Rainbow Dash a thankful nod as the mare stuck her hoof in Pinkie Pie’s mouth.
“Anyway, so I just hid in my room for two days straight. I didn’t even go to my classes. I probably could have asked some of my other teachers, but I was really pink. Like really, really pink. It was just embarrassing. When the Princess found out she told me that I should feel free to interrupt her whenever I needed her.
“But, even though she said that, I knew what she does is important. I couldn’t just interrupt her when she was in court. But then I found out she liked to drink tea all by herself in the afternoons and take walks through the gardens at dawn. Two hours of free time she has set aside each day! So I figured it was safe to interrupt her then.”
“Wait. Twi, do you really mean to tell all us that ya took up the time the Princess set aside to relax with talkin’ about your homework?”
“No! Of course not.”
Rarity watched as Applejack let out a sigh of relief. However, she had known Twilight long enough to guess what was coming next.
“I talked to her about my extra credit.”
“What?”
“Well, the Princess had our lessons planned out in great detail. When I was younger, they were to delve into the theory behind what I was dealing with in my other classes or exercises to work on control and restraint. But it didn’t leave much time for my other studies. So I would take tea with her or follow her around in the gardens to talk about the random books I was reading or things that I had learned. At first it was just every now and then, but eventually it became an everyday thing.”
Rarity watched as Twilight buried her face in her hooves and frowned as the other mare rested her elbows on the table.
“It was only a few years ago that I realized what I was doing. I was mortified. I asked the Princess why she let me monopolize her free time like that. You know what she said? She said that I was, ‘eager to learn,’ and that my enthusiasm was a ‘great gift.’ She told me that there was no way she would turn away a filly who loved knowledge and that teaching me was a joy. Then when I tried to stop having tea with her she gave me this hurt look.”
Twilight’s voice took on a higher pitch, in what, Rarity supposed, was suppose to be an impersonation, “Why, Twilight, do you not want me to be your teacher any more?” Her voice took a more normal tone as she continued, “The Princess wouldn’t let me stop! I had to keep bothering her. I mean, I love the time we spend together, but I hate that I’m such an inconvenience.”
“So you loooove spending time with the Princess. Just like you love banging-” Rainbow Dash cut off with a sharp gasp. Rarity was appreciative towards whichever pony had kicked the pegasus under the table, Applejack she assumed, but unfortunately Dash’s reflexive jerk at being kicked meant that there was no longer a hoof in Pinkie Pie’s mouth.
“So the two of you started spending more and more time together. Eventually you started eating together and bathing together. Finally you started to pretend being afraid of the dark so you had an excuse to sleep in the Princess’s room, and one night when she was feeling lonely you made your move!”
There was a long sigh from Twilight.
“No Pinkie. I-”
“She made her move?”
“No! We got off track. My point was just that the Princess and I aren’t nearly as close as everypony assumes. It wasn’t like she adopted me or anything. I’m just another student to her. I suppose it gets annoying sometimes, everypony’s assumptions, so I went on a bit of a rant.”
“Well, if you don’t think of her as a mother figure, why would the two of you being together be all that weird… If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”
“Yes, darling, so far you have only managed to convince me further that the two of you are an item, and your blushing certainly is not helping.”
“It’s weird because she is my teacher and mentor. She’s my idol, the pony I most want to be. I know that she isn’t really perfect and I’ve put her on a bit of a pedestal, but it gives me something to strive for. The Princess inspires me to be better than I really am. That’s the reason I’ve been able to accomplish so much. I love Princess Celestia as my role model, but I need her as a beacon to guide me. The idea of… dirtying that?”
There was silence around the table. The blush had disappeared from Twilight’s face. Rarity could tell Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy both looked disappointed, but she was having trouble reading Applejack and Rainbow Dash. For her part, however, Rarity was more concerned with something Twilight had said at the very end.
“Twilight, dear. There is nothing dirty about love. Even if it might be weird or might not seem normal. Love is a wonderful thing.”
“I.. I know that. I didn’t mean- But look, I’m telling you the truth. There is nothing romantic between me and the Princess. She’s just a mentor and role model to me.”
“Ah recon that you're lying. In fact, Ah know you’re lying.”
Pinkie Pie gasped.
“Yeah, Twi. Me and AJ went by the library the other day. Spike had mentioned that you had been grumpy and we wanted to cheer you up. Figured we could put a smile on your face in ten seconds flat.”
Rarity’s eyes widened as she saw Twilight’s face becoming red again. In fact, it seemed to be becoming very tomato like.
“When Dash and Ah got there, we heard some noise coming from inside. Through the window we saw… Well, if you are going to make us drag this out of you, we saw the Princess on top of ya. A couple seconds later we decided to give the two of you some privacy.”
Applejack had the decency to at least cough in embarrassment.
“And we could hear the two of you too. You both all panting and out of breath and you were all like,” Dash’s voice shifted in what Rarity thought was actually a rather good impersonation of Twilight, “Oh Princess. Oh Princess! Oh!”
Rarity felt it was now an appropriate moment for an appropriately lady like gasp.
Twilight coughed as her blush receded somewhat. “Do you know why Princess Celestia was there? Spike was worried that I was in a funk and wrote to the Princess that I could use some cheering up. She brought me a new book, but was upset when she couldn’t get me to smile. So she started tickling me with her feathers. I was trying to ask her to stop, but I couldn’t stop gasping for breath even long enough to laugh.”
Rarity could tell from the look in Twilight’s eyes that the mare was telling the truth, even if it seemed like Rainbow Dash was not yet convinced. She sighed in disappointment. The conversation had held such promise for intrigue. Suddenly she noticed an unnaturally large predatory smile on Pinkie Pie’s face. Rarity knew her friends. She knew was about to happen. Without a word, she levitated her sandwich and plate off of the table.
“Say Twilight, just how ticklish are you?”
It seemed to happen in an instant. Twilight’s eyes opened wide in realization of her mistake as Pinkie Pie lunged across the table, knocking it over in the process. Rarity was impressed at Twilight’s reflexes as she danced away.
“Pinkie Pie, stay away!”
Unfortunately, the party mare was not to be deterred. After another failed lunge, Pinkie Pie finally caught her prey on a pounce. It seemed that the pony’s hoof had barely brushed up against Twilight’s side when the unicorn flopped to the ground and began laughing.
“Pinkie! Pinkie-” each word was punctuated by loud gasps of air, “Please- Pinkie- Don’t-” Rarity almost felt bad for Twilight, “Please- stop.”
“What’s that Silly Twilight? Did you say, ‘Please, Pinkie don’t stop?’”
As the tickling continued, Rarity used her magic to straighten the table and apologize to the waiter. However, she felt a blush beginning to form on her own face as she listened to Twilight gasping and panting. She understood how Rainbow Dash and Applejack had thought they had heard something other than innocent tickling, and from Rainbow Dash’s blushing snout, she suspected any doubt of Twilight’s story was now gone.
There was a pop of magic and Twilight was suddenly in her chair panting, glaring daggers at a Pinkie Pie who was now back in her own chair, tied to it with magical force bands. Despite being restrained, Pinkie Pie still had one of the largest smiles Rarity had ever seen on her face.
There was an awkward round of coughing amongst the friends. Only Pinkie with a magical gag over her mouth made no sound. Rarity was comforted to see that she had not been the only pony who was blushing. After Twilight had seemed to gather herself back up, it was Rainbow Dash who broke the silence.
“So you mean to say you don’t think the Princess is attractive?”
“Well, no. She’s beautiful. But anypony will tell you that. Personally though? I mean, I prefer stallions- not that I’ve ever- well, I mean. Gosh. Um. Okay, let me start over. When I find myself feeling… amorous, it’s typically directed towards stallions. But sexuality isn’t really a binary thing. Not like on/off. It's a spectrum, you know, though some time ponies will have outliers on their personal spectrums, but… So, the Princess? Yeah she’s beautiful. I won’t lie and say she isn’t. But just because I think she is attractive doesn’t mean I have feelings for her.”
“And you’ve never had feelings for her then?” Applejack took the words slowly as she gave Twilight a considering look, no doubt rethinking prior assumptions.
Rarity saw the blush that had been an almost constant mark on Twilight’s face flare to life again.
“I… I might have had a crush on her when I was younger. But that’s perfectly normal. Lots of fillies develop crushes on their role models and strong figures in their life. There is a reason a lot of mares end up with a stallion like their dad.” Twilight shrugged her withers the blush dying down. “I grew out of it.”
Applejack broke the long silence, “Showin up to cheer you up ain’t really the type of thing a teacher typically does.” At the same time that Rainbow Dash started to say, “I don’t know-”
“Oh for the love of!” Twilight threw her hooves into the air. Rarity just shook her head at her friend’s lack of composure, and felt a slight concern at the hairs that began to pop out of Twilight’s mane along with the tic developing in her eye.
Suddenly a smile broke out on Twilight’s face as she yelled, “Spike!”
There was a purple glow, a pop, and a loud “urk” as a dragon appeared in front of them wearing a shower cap and covered in bath suds.
“Twi- Twilight. I was bathing.”
Rarity thought it was cute how the young dragon tried to hide himself behind a potted plant.
“Spike I need you to send this letter to the Princess right away.” Twilight began writing on a napkin, “Dear Princess Celestia. I am currently having a discussion with my friends. If you could so kindly write back at your earliest convenience to ensure them we are not in a romantic relationship. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.”
She jammed the napkin at Spike, who engulfed it in flames with a scowl across his face.
“There. That was probably one of the most embarrassing letters I have ever written. But if you won’t believe me, then you at least have to believe the Princess. Unless you think she would lie to you?”
“Can I go now, Twilight? I mean, it will probably be a while until the Princess responds. She’s probably at court right about now.”
Twilight sighed before responding, “Fine you can-” She was cut off as Spike burped up a letter.
“Wow, that was fast.”
“What does it say? Come on, read it.”
“Give me a moment.” Twilight grabbed the letter in her magic and spread it out so everypony could read it, and then proceeded to read it out loud, “Dear Twilight’s Friends,
“Unfortunately, I must write to tell you that Twilight is indeed correct. The relationship between me and my student is purely that of a student and teacher. It is not in anyway a romantic relationship. I would like to think, that perhaps we are also friends, but at this time we are nothing more than that.
“Sincerely, Princess Celestia.”
Twilight had such a proud and triumphant smile on her face. That was why Rarity had to wince when Rainbow Dash said, “what does she mean by ‘Unfortunately?’”
Luna smiled at the desk and the quill she had set down on it. She did not know what had prompted Twilight’s letter, but the timing had been most excellent. She had been needing to get her sister back for her latest transgression.
A good prank required subtlety. Come on too strong and the whole thing would be ruined. Just one or two words in the right place, that was what made a good prank. Luna liked to think she was a good prankster.
It helped that in the last thousand years, Celestia had apparently stopped password-protecting her dragon mail. It had been almost painfully easy to intercept the message.
She thought about the contents of Twilight’s letter and about all the times she had seen her sister interacting with the unicorn. Her memory replayed the various things her sister had mentioned about her student.
Luna would wait and see how Twilight responded. Celestia’s birthday was coming up, and it was possible that some subtle manipulation was called for to give her sister a most memorable gift.
Author's Note
So I needed to write something that wasn't a depressing story with Twilight being crazy or anything like that (the strong theme in most of the stories I have in the pipeline).
I enjoyed writing Rarity's perspective for a change.
If on the other hand you want crazy Twilight check out my other stories Equestria's Twilight or Influence.
Edit: So it just occurred to me that it really looks like some sort of ham or baloney sandwich in my cover art... The scary thing is I think I took the picture from the show.
I just realized I forgot to include this in the author notes (I posted it in the comments):
There is a reason for the dearth of dialog tags. Originally, I wrote this as an exercise to try to see if I could do a mane six dialog using no tags or narrative description to indicate the speaker in an attempt to force me to speak through the character's voice. I made concessions obviously, and the story would be stronger if I cleaned it up. At some point in the future, I may go back and edit it, but for now I am reasonably happy with it the way it is.
A comment on this story has inspired me to write another Twilestia story: Plus One
This story has been reviewed. I include them here mainly so I can go back and find them again if I ever want to, but feel free to check out how other people's opinions compare to your own.
Titanium Dragon's Review: Recomended
DuncanR's Pseudo-Review: Not Recomended (though he did like my other story Equestria's Twilight).
