Hell is Other Chimeras

by DarthDusk

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Discord
Length: 1396

Discord joins a chimera church in the Everfree Forest after fighting an addiction but soon pays the ultimate price when when his chaotic nature gets the better of him.

Discord has always been problematic but when he has deadly addiction that nearly costs him the lives of his only friends he finds something much then lying stoned in a gutter...Religion. But soon learns that with every "Good Word" there's an "H-Word"!

Published 2015-01-05 06:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-05 06:40:05 UTC

Chapter One

It was another bustling night in the massive metropolitan of Manehattan. The sounds of traffic jams and angry insults from taxi-cart drivers filled the air along with the wafting scents of fresh carrotdogs and cabbage kalash and the scents coming off their not so fresh vendors. Yes, Manehattan was truly the Equestrian city that never sleeps, especially on a night like to night. The sound of crowds roaring could be heard over the noise of the hustle and bustle of the city coming from the world famous Mane-ison Horseshoe Garden.

The arena was an explosion of activity as hundreds of ponies from near and far came to attend the biggest event of the year. Tonight was the big finale of the Equestria wide tour of Sapphire Shores called “The Voice of the Seas” and tickets had been sold out for months. They were scattered around the area chattering anxiously waiting to enter and see the show, while in the dark corners of the stadium the hushed whispers of seedy looking scalper’s tried to sell their tickets while trying to avoid being seen by police. Inside Sapphire fans were filled up to the rafters of the massive horseshoe shaped arena all in anticipation to see the “Pony of Pop” herself, and a certain group of six ponies and a dragon were sitting in a luxury suit courtesy of a certain seamstress, who designed all of the tour outfits, was able score a for free. However there was another member to this group who wasn’t so thrilled to be there but he couldn’t disappoint the friend who had invited him despite the complains of his others friends.

“AAAAAA!!” screamed a pink fluffy ball of energy “I can’t believe were sitting in a luxury suit box at one of the biggest concerts of the year!!” Pinkie exclaimed wrapping her hooves around the neck the white unicorn next to her seat then proceeded to give her a bone crushing bear hug.” And it’s all thanks to Rarity for designing all of Sapphire Shores’ outfits! You’re the bestest friend in the whole wide world!!"

“You’re… a… good… (Gasp)… friend… too.” Gasped Rarity as her white completion slightly turning blue.

“Uh… Pinkie Pie I think your suffocating her” said a nervous Applejack as she watched her unicorn friend slowly change colors “ya may want to let go…Like Now!!”

“Whoopsie Daisy! Sorry Rarity!” Pinkie let go of her friend from her bone crushing death hug allowing Rarity to breathe and allow oxygen to once again circulate through the blood stream “Look! Look! It’s Started! I CAN SEE SAPPHIRE SHORES!!”

“(Gasp)… yeah… me to” gasped Rarity trying to sit upright in her seat “and… (gasp)… and I can see my foalhood too!!”

“You and me both sister” said a rather bored draconequus staring blankly at the stage “Whatever happened to the classics?” the rest of the group rolled their eyes except for Fluttershy and a curious violet alicorn.

“What exactly are the classics?” asked Twilight Sparkle quickly regretting what she had said not sure if she wanted to hear the answer to her question.

“Oh you know Gladiator Fights to the Death, Heckle or Disembowel, and my personal favorite “The Chair” you know those classics…” said Discord sliding back in his chair with a slight smile on his face daydreaming of the good old days “…those were the days "…(sigh)... but then a certain sun loving princess put a stop to them saying it was Barbaric, Evil, and can you believe this Non Educational”... fumed the angry Chimera.

“How Vile!" said in disgust Rarity turning to the reminiscing draconequus “the thought of McEnroe makes my blood run cold!”

“HELLO MANEHATTAN!! ARE YOU ALL READY FOR THIS!!” the famous pop star called out to the crowd which responded with an eruption of cheers “THEN HERE WE GO!!”
“I’M JUST SO NERVOUSCITED THAT I COULD JUST DIE!!” Screamed Pinky Pie leaping out of her chair knocking her tub of popcorn out of her hooves and onto Twilight’s head, who in return let out an annoyed sigh.
“I know that I could just die” Discord said snapping his claw summoning a set of ear plugs and a sleeping mask which he proceeded to put on yawning “wake me when it’s over” who rolled over on one side falling fast asleep.
“Reminded me again why he’s here” Said Rainbow Dash turning to Fluttershy with a deadpanned expression on her face.

Three and a Half Hours Later

“WELL EVERYPONY I’M OUT!!” Said the exhausted looking pop star “BUT DON’T YOU WORRY! YOU CAN CATCH ME AT MY UPCOMING APPEARANCE DURRING THE GRAND OPENING OF THE BRAND NEW NIGHTMARE MOON CINEMA COMPLEX RIGHT HERE IN MANEHATTAN!!”

The arena erupted in cheers and applause along with a few voices begging for an encore. The volume of the audience’s voices and hoof stomping were powerful enough to wake the powerful ancient from his deep slumber and face first onto the semi-sticky floor. Discord quickly picked himself of the floor angrily grumbling before turning his head towards his companions.

“What’s going on why are the commoners yelling?!” said Discord tilting his neck over the edge looking at the audience below.

“The concert is over Discord” said an extremely annoyed Twilight Sparkle along with the annoyed looks of the rest of the group, even Fluttershy looked a bit miffed at her draconequus bestie.

“Wonderful lets go back to the hotel and steal the shampoo bottles, towels, and used toilet brushes” he said with a sinister smile across his face.

“Actually Discord” said Rarity with a very smug smile on her face turning to her friends “Not only did I get us this luxury box suit but I also… Spiky-Wiky if you would be so kind.” The little dragon who’s current outfit was decked out with the pop star’s merchandise, walked up to his beloved fashionable lady holding a pillow with eight ID badge necklaces in his claws. Rarity levitated them with her magic giving one to each of her friends. “I GOT US BACKSTAGE PASSES SO WE ALL CAN MEET SAPPHIRE SHORES!!”

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA…” screamed Pinkie Pie who’s loud shriek put the entire audience of 18,200 to shame “RARITY YOU’RE THE ABSOLUTELY THE MOST SUPER-DUPER BESTEST FRIEND IN THE HISTORY OF BESTEST FRIEND!!” the pink cyclone of fun charged towards the fashionista for another Hug’O Death. However she quickly sacrificed the baby dragon by pushing him in the path of the fun seeking missile. There was a miniature blast upon impact between the pony and reptile which knocked over everything and anypony in a twenty foot radius and sent sickening vapors of cake frosting and particles of colorful confetti and scales high into the air which was picked up by a passing wind which caused them to spread through the arena effecting dozens of innocent ponies. Many of them choked and suffocated on the toxic sugary gasses and paper partials as well as developed severe fractures and bruises. Luckily the violet sorceress cast a protective force field which protected the rest of the group from the blast and the effects of sugar coated radiation.

“Uh… I suggest we make a break and head bake stage before security comes” suggested a nervous Rainbow Dash looking at the carnage. The group scooped up what was left of Spike as well as his collection of Sapphire souvenirs and tried to quietly sneak bake stage.

“Hey! You There!!” Yelled a scary looking security pony quickly galloping towards the location of the disturbance. The group froze in fear as he headed straight for them. Luckily a certain magical being transformed the strip of floor in front of him into soap and slid down the aisle to the group of offenders. He was in a complete daze as he rose his head up to try and recognize his surroundings but instead of seeing the culprit who did this to him he received a face full of wiped cream and heard a sinister chuckle.
“Cheese It!!” yelled Discord as he and his six chumpettes took off towards the end of the aisle and out the door while his breathing chump was still trying to regain his sense of balance. The smug draconequus did a double take to have another look at his handy woke and slowed down walking out the door looking like if he was a big shot.