A Murder of Crows

by Jsyrin

Rating: mature
Tags: Anthro, Main 6, Princess Luna, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Tirek, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 20922

"If I had a bit for everytime someone made fun of my name.... I'd be a very rich man" – Crow Murder, on the subject of his name.

When a teenage assassin with seemingly no morals gets blown the hell up and sent to Equestria, what else can there be but pandemonium?

Well, at least he's leashed to the throne. Too bad the throne is used to shady policies and assassinations. Too bad the queen is a neurotic mess of a purple alicorn.

Too bad the kid got stuck as a retainer for the crown.

"Sucks to be you, Crow, now suck it up and stand still, I wanna knock that apple off your head."

"Screw you, Dash. Screw you too."

Published 2015-01-05 06:40:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-27 03:29:21 UTC

Once Upon a Midnight Dreary

Allow me to introduce to you, dear readers, a World. This is no ordinary World, though, not as us on earth would define it. No, for this World, so much like our own yet so different, is a world of magic and secrets. Of heroes and villains. A world rife with conflict in the shadows. This World is Earth. But not just any earth, no, this is Earth 227; a world of assassins, heroes, villains, and just about everything necessary for said heroics. Including superhuman abilities.

And here comes the subject of this wondrous tale: a young man, not even legally allowed to drink, dressed rather peculiarly in terms of the weather.

Oh, right. The setting. Ahem. Currently, dear readers, we observe our young man as he stalks through the streets of his hometown, Los Angeles. This young man is moderately tall, six feet in height not counting his perpetually windswept, spiky, black hair. This youth, in the words of his few friends, has a fetish for black; he never wears anything that doesn't have some sort of black on it.

Unless it's a dress uniform. He makes special exception for those. Socks too. And underwear, but we don't need to know about that, now do we?

Also curious is his pale complexion. Normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem, but given how much time he spends in the sun, it is a marked curiosity. And then there’s his eyes: a very vibrant gold, some would say they even glow in low light. The boy is currently wearing a pair of black slacks (he hates jeans), a red t-shirt with a black crow insignia upon its front, a black hoodie with the same insignia printed on the back (white this time), and a nice pair of black running shoes. And white socks.

He's carrying his school bag, also black. His hands are covered with black, leather, fingerless gloves.

He has just finished school and is heading home for evening practice and dinner.

His name is Cameron "Crow" Murder, and he is one of the better assassins on the planet. And he's only eighteen years old.

One might wonder exactly how an eighteen year old assassin would be able to juggle school, friends, and the job, but Crow is special.

Crow is a metahuman. A teleporter, to be exact. And one with an extra ability forged from his teleporting. See, Crow's teleportation comes with him leaving behind a cloud of feathers at both ends of his journey, so that he is provided a smokescreen with which to disguise his movements. The most useful part of this cloud of feathers is that Crow is able to manipulate them so as to be more discreet when necessary, normally only creating a few, quickly disappearing feathers.

And then there's the fact that each feather are both razor sharp, and capable of exploding with enough force to rip a man's face off. And Crow can forge bladed weapons from them. As well as launch them at near-bullet speeds. Pretty obvious how he's one of the better assassins now, isn't it?

Ah, here we are, the most important part of the story so far: Crow has returned to his home (he lives alone; his 'clan' likes to do that) and changed into his assassin's attire.

Again, almost all black. A long coat with a fur-lined hood, sweeping around his ankles. A pair of cargo pants, filled with useful supplies. Light, full-body armor and a utility belt. Steel toed combat boots with velcro for ease of use. Another crow-emblazoned shirt, long sleeved. Another pair of fingerless gloves, this time with armor plates on the back. And to finish the ensemble, a pointed visor, complete with ear pieces and a full, holographic HUD readout. Also: several games, a music library, a magic battery, and internet accessibility. Like the Google Glass, except much, much better.

But today's objective is not assassination; no, today is for practice. One's skills only atrophy when not under constant use, and Crow hasn't had a mission in weeks.

Adjourning to the secret training area far beneath his home, Crow began, striding to the center of the large room.

"Training Sim: Level Six," he spoke, no emotion tinging his words.

“Acknowledged. Training Simulation. Level Six. Releasing Combat Droids.”

And he was off, disappearing and flashing around the arena in a flurry of feathers.

Ability: Flurry

User teleports with a concealing smokescreen of feathers

The combat droids floated into view, standard flying orbs with machine guns mounted on the sides. Crow cut through the lot of them as they fired, some managing to clip his form, though it did nothing but cause him to Flurry even faster.

Ability: Auto-Flurry

User involuntarily Flurries in response to any impact slower than mach 3

After five minutes of uninterrupted carnage that would send any robot screaming about a mass murderer, Crow finished his warmup.

“Sparring Droid, level seventeen.”

Ah, here we are, the most important part of the story so far; the droid. Standing six feet tall and weighing at just under a half ton, this metal monstrosity was built with the ability to proficiently use just about any martial art ever invented- so long as it could be replicated with the droid’s body type, that is. The custom built droid also had a very strange power source: a large chunk of crystal, unknown in composition, but undeniably magical in nature. This crystal emitted great amounts of energy, enough to keep a sparring droid active for hours at a time.

It was also very, very unstable- though nobody knew that. Remember that part, because it’s very important.

“Acknowledged. Releasing safety constraints. Sparring Droid level seventeen deployed. Have fun.”

With the hissing of pneumatic seals being released, the metal beast sprang forth from its holding cell, already in the midst of what would commonly be called a “Dynamic Entry”.

Crow met the deadly flying kick with an attack of his own, a massive ring of blades flaring into existence around him and spinning fast enough shred the air into a ringing hum.

Ability: Orbit Shredder

User manifests a spinning ring of knives that orbits their person like planetary rings. Can be used to shred anything from flesh to tempered steel.

Impacting each other, Crow automatically Flurried behind the robot, inflicting massive damage and, unbeknownst to him, damaging the crystal power source ever so slightly.

This is important, remember this, dear reader.

As the spar continued, both parties attacking with ever increasing ferocity and martial ability, the droid began to take damage faster than its repair systems could handle. And then it stopped, mid punch, as it began sparking with a rainbow of color. Crow paused, unable to comprehend the strangeness of the droid's actions.

Cut him some slack, the guy's a highschool senior, not a robotics genius.

"I... What?" Crow began backing away slowly, clearly recognizing the danger. He knew his house would be fine- the training room was built far enough down to double as a bomb shelter.

And then the malfunctioning machine started to glow with a rainbow of colors.

"Oh shit."

And with that oh so eloquent phrase, Crow Flurried out of the room as fast as he could, but he was too late. The robot and the crystal inside detonated with a thunderous roar and a flash of every color unimaginable, the explosion catching up to Crow in mid-Flurry, mingling the magics involved and royally fucking Crow over.

With a popping sound that was quickly lost in the explosion, Crow was flung out of his homeworld and straight into, well, given the nature of this story, it should be obvious, shouldn’t it?

Let us now journey, dear reader, to a world much like the one our hero has just left. This is a world of sorcery, however, not technology. Welcome, gathered friends, to the planet of Equus. This is a land torn by strife and danger, though the latent harmony of the land is such that the peoples of the lands are still united in peace. This is a world without true war, though there is a neverending war on crime and the like.

Welcome the Elements of Harmony, a group of six young women tasked with defending the nation of Equestria from threats such as the one they were facing currently.

Lord Tirek. The Magic Eater. The King of Centaurs. The Demon Scourge. The Most Metal Centaur in the Universe (His favorite title).

Our heroine, so far as the current scene is concerned, is none other than Equestria's newest crown princess: Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. She was currently locked in a mighty battle with the demonic centaur, trading magical blasts back and forth as if they were mere candy.

Side note: Who the hell made that phrase anyway? It's a horrible phrase.

As the battle grew ever more furious, the blasts coming down faster and harder, Princess Twilight charged up the most powerful beam she had used yet; a beam so powerful that it tore a small hole in spacetime with its mere presence.

This is important.

"FOOLISH GIRL! DO YOU REALLY THINK A PUNY THING LIKE YOU COULD DEFEAT ME!?"

With a mighty scream, one fit to shake the heavens asunder, the purple pony Princess released the blast from her hands, warping spacetime even further and pounding the weakened centaur into the dirt.

And then she dropped, spent from using all of the magic that she had been gifted by the other three Princesses (Well, except the part that let the sun, moon, and Crystal Heart keep working and not destroy the world with their absence).

Collapsing to her knees, unable to make even the smallest attempt to stand, Twilight nearly gave in; she knew that Tirek wouldn't have been taken down by that attack, powerful though it was.

Gasping for breath, she made a silent prayer to someone, anyone, that help would arrive. Seconds passed, and though she could sense her friends drawing nearer, they would not arrive before Tirek recovered and drained her magic dry....er.

The rubble shifted and Tirek broke free of the earth's stony grasp with a triumphant scream.

A scant hundred meters away, Twilight could only grit her teeth and pray harder; pray for a miracle that seemed unlikely to ever come.

And with a sound of distant thunder, a miracle appeared.

'Are these.... Feathers!?'

Indeed, the air was filled with hundreds of black feathers, each one resembling a feather from acommon crow. But these feathers were special. These feathers reflected no light and sent small jolts up her arms whenever she touched on. They also heralded a large flash of energy and a large black thing skidding to a stop right next to her.

And as Twilight looked up at the figure, she couldn't help but to be completely shocked at the sudden appearance of this human male, still an adolescent no less, in the most menacing clothing she'd ever seen on any person, human or otherwise.

Crow had arrived, singed and smoking, but otherwise completely fine.

As our hero looked around, he noted the being kneeling beside him, obviously worse for the wear. She was also one of the strangest humanoid beings he'd ever seen, a cross between a purple unicorn and a human, with a pair of wings stuck to her back to top things off. And she was also absolutely adorable.

Crow was distinctly nonplussed, a rare feat when the afflicted is an assassin in a world where toxic waste would turn the proper person into a sixty foot tall monstrosity made of radioactive feces.

(And yes, he actually saw it happen once.)

Back on track, Crow also noticed the twenty foot tall uber-death-metal-esque centaur bursting from a pile of rubble a few hundred feet away. Looking down, he spoke:

"That red guy the one who did all this to you?"

The purple one nodded weakly, still too tired to speak.

"Want me to... remove.... the problem?"

Another nod.

"Then you might want to look away. My methods are quite... Messy."

Twilight's only response was to pass out in the dirt, finally succumbing to her exhaustion.

And Crow sprung into action, Flurrying in disorienting patterns around the recently recovered Tirek, who tried futilely to swat the human from the air. As Crow appeared in random positions around the centaur, he formed a pair of katanas from the feathers around him, one with a crossguard shaped like a crow's beak, the other's crossguard a set of outstretched talons.

Construct: Midnight

A pitch black katana with an open crow's beak as a crossguard. Faint feather impressions can be seen upon inspecting the blade. Allows for more stab damage from the barbs along the back.

Construct: Dreary

A pitch black katana with a set of outstretched bird talons as a crossguard. Faint feather impressions can be seen upon inspecting the blade. Allows for more slashing damage due to the finely serrated blade.

And with a wordless cry, faintly reminiscent of a crow's harsh caw, he flickered out of visibility as clouds of feathers and alternating stab and slash wounds appeared sporadically around his body.

And for those of you that wondered, yes, that did include Tirek's massive pair of equine testicles.

After a scant few seconds of this assault, Tirek collapsed, screaming like a little girl at the pain all over his body... But especially his groin.

Seeing that the assault did little more than castrate Tirek, Crow decided to switch tactics, launching his Orbit Shredder ring at the villain.

Ability: Purge Shredder

User launches the ring of an Orbit Shredder with explosive results.

The resulting explosion was much stronger than Crow had anticipated, and thus both were launched back, Tirek a considerably shorter distance. Unfortunately, Crow drew the short straw and ended up crashing through a conveniently placed rock. Yes, through. It was a thin slab. Only six inches thick at most.

Now woozy and covered in lacerations, Crow mused that his Auto-Flurry was a horrible ability since it only covered impacts that didn’t hit his entire body. Still, he had to keep fighting, if only on principle.

Summoning the last vestiges of his strength, Crow Flurried onto Tirek’s head and, taking a moment to dry heave a little and dodge the centaur’s furious swipes, Flurried again, this time taking Tirek’s head. And only his head.

Needless to say, this ended up being very, very messy.

And then, somehow, Tirek’s corpse exploded, sending Crow crashing into a considerably thicker slab of stone and knocking the tired teen straight into dreamland.

End Chapter 1

While I Pondered, Weak and Weary

Interlude 1: Reasoning and Backstory

Why Crow kicked Tirek's ass so easily

Crow kicked Tirek's ass easily, not because he's a shitty, overpowered, Mary Sue piece of shit (As some may argue), but because of the following reasons:

1) Tirek was weakened a lot. He wasn't at his mostly full power scale like he was in the show; rather, he was actually barely hanging on at about 35% capacity.

2) Crow is a highly trained assassin from a world with a far greater violent streak. Really, when one compares a weakened demon lord thing to a teleporting assassin at around 80% capacity, it isn't much of a contest.

3) Crow aimed for weak spots and Tirek never really learned how to fight someone that mainly fought with teleport spamming and swords. Either one, yes. Both? Not so much.

4) Crow used his powers in an entirely unexpected manner, to Tirek at least. Most teleporters don't often bother with taking only part of an object.

On the subject of Crow

Crow is, perhaps, a tad unrealistic, is he not? But then again, this is a story about anthropomorphized, technicolored, pastel, magical ponies. Plus, there's been worse, hasn't there?

(I'm looking at you My Immortal)

Snark aside, let me bring to you the gist of Crow's backstory.

Our hero's story begins a long time ago (Relative to his world, that is) in the mystical realm of ancient Japan. Around 1376, a small clan of mercenaries brought Crow's ancestor into the world under the name Nanamusuko no Karasu (七息子のカラス). Or, for a direct translation, Crow of the Seventh Son.

Remember, Crow's world is a land of magic and superheros and all the kinds of things one would expect to find in a DC or Marvel production.

The Seventh Son clan was one of Japan's premiere mercenary clans, doing anything from escorts to assassinations (Sometimes both at the same time). Unfortunately, it was not to last; times changed and the nobility turned on the clan in 1392, destroying nearly everything related to the clan.

Karasu escaped Japan three days after his clan was destroyed, making landfall in what would later become Hong Kong. There, he rebuilt his clan, once more becoming a mercenary service until that too was destroyed in 1426. Karasu died at the age of fifty, siring at least six children and many more grandchildren.

One such child, the inheritor of his legacy, took on the name Tiaowu de Wuya (跳舞的烏鴉), the Dancing Crow. (Her family had an odd affinity for crows.) Wuya moved westward, stopping in what would become Turkey, then named Constantinople, capital of the Byzantine Empire. The year was 1462, and the Wuya mercenary clan topped out at over a hundred members, not all of them blood related to Wuya herself. Wuya was fifty two, and her first son had just married. However, the clan began pressuring her to name an heir, though one would not be found until Wuya's granddaughter accepted the title Skiasmena Koraki (σκιασμένα κοράκι), the Shadowed Crow. Koraki's title came in 1474, when she was fourteen years old. Unfortunately, the Wuya clan was swallowed by the competition, one of the members having sold out the entire clan for a sum of money that was quickly rescinded, along with his life.

Koraki moved to Renaissance Florence in 1478, and quickly became immersed in a deadly game of shadows and deceit. Deciding to not follow in her ancestors' footsteps and make the idiotic decision of creating a mercenary clan, Koraki joined the Assassin Brotherhood in secret, quickly rising through the ranks.

After a productive life as an Assassin, Koraki had a child, who had another child, who had another child. And so on and so forth. Skip forward to the later 1700s, and we see here one Mr. Richard Crowley, secret Assassin and, perhaps even more secretive, practicing mage. Crowley was a very unlucky man; a carry-over from his ancestors, as he had always assumed. It was this luck that led to him discovering an ancient Muskogee Sacred Territory. Specifically, one related to the Wind Clan of mythology.

There, Mr. Crowley found a small stone, a small chunk of onyx carved into the rough shape of a spiral. When he touched it, the whole cavern he'd fallen into reacted, glowing ominously and rumbling as wind whistled through the area.

Six days later, Crowley emerged from the cavern a changed man. He had taken on the name Osakwv, in honor of his lineage and the lineage of the Wind Clan. Rejoining the newly founded magical community in America, Richard Osakwv married a french woman and had a daughter, Corneille, who married a Dutchman by the name of Raaf Moord and had a son, Kraai Moord, bringing us now to the earlier 1800s.

Kraai was also a mage, but he left his lineage behind due to a keen interest in building, and thus went on to help build railroads and telegraph lines. Finally, at the age of forty, and having helped win the Civil War, in 1866, Kraai married an Irish woman and had a daughter, Beanna Murder. And thus brings us to the main house of Crow's international Clan.

The Murder Family

The Murder Family is highly invested in all those mercenary and assassin related things, having kinsmen from all over the world, some related by only the survivors of the Seventh Son Mercenaries from Japan, others having been around since Crowley changed his name to Osakwv.

The Murder Family is one of immense, secretive power in the Criminal Underground. It is the third ranking Assassin's Guild on the planet, ranked only behind the peculiarly named Thieves' Guild and the Assassin Brotherhood, both of which claim seniority over the eight hundred year old clan.

The Murder Family also boasts a great number of occupational branches, from magecraft and alchemy to mechanical engineering and accounting. Our hero, Cameron, fell into the peculiar dual specialization of Carpenter and Assassin.

Crow is of the main branch of the family, the ones whose names have been mentioned above. Some generations go without an adequate successor to the name of Crow, but the name always resurfaces eventually. Crow is actually the first successor to the name in three generations.

On the Top Ten Assassin Guilds on the Planet

1) The Assassin Brotherhood: Descended from the Hashashin of the Middle East, these Assassins have been around for almost two thousand years.

2) The Thieves' Guild: These Assassins hail from the frigid North, forming in the late ninth century in the midst of the vikings.

3) The Murder Family: Descended from the Seventh Son Mercenary Clan in Japan, they are one of the most diverse guilds on the planet, and the third oldest.

4) The League of Assassins: Headed by a nearly immortal supervillain, this guild boasts many of the deadliest assassins to ever turn to supervillainy.

5) The Mandalorians: Taking their cues from George Lucas' Star Wars, this guild recently changed its name to reflect its reputation as the most technologically advanced assassins to ever hit America.

6) The Hellsing Organization: An English organization that deals almost exclusively with the supernatural, though their highest ranked members often deal with all sorts of invading villains and the like. (Like Catholic Sociopaths) (Whoops, tautology)

7) The Killer7: Technically just one metahuman that transforms into seven different personalities with their own skill sets, but the "group" has taken enough jobs to formally ranks as a legitimate Assassin Guild, though there has been protest by some of the smaller, localized Assassin Guilds.

8) The McNinja Clan: While their active assassin members only really consist of three members, with the fourth having taken on the role of a doctor, the entire family is a lethal bunch of Irish-American ninjas. That can punch pirates through their dinky pirate ships.

9) The Brotherhood of Evil: Technically more of a group of supervillains, this guild has performed enough assassinations and mercenary activities to earn a spot on the top ten.

10) The Foot Clan: While mostly disgraced by a team of four teenaged mutant ninja turtles, the fact remains that they are one of the deadlier assassin guilds (Outside of New York; the New York branch has often been derided for falling to nothing more than four mutated turtles and their mutated rat of a sensei).

Over a Quaint and Curious Volume of Forgotten Lore

Two months after Tirek’s death and subsequent explosion

Crow awoke with a pounding headache and an aching spine, along with six fractured ribs, a broken arm, a dislocated shoulder, several still-healing muscles, no less than fifty-six lacerations that required stitches, a lightly fractured skull, three broken fingers on his left hand, a sprained ankle, some internal bleeding, a broken toe, a compound spiral fracture in his right thigh, and a broken nose.

“Ugh, did someone get the number of the truck that ran me over?”

“No, but we at least know how you got here, Mr….?”

Crow whipped his head to the left, immediately wincing at the pain.

“Ah ah ah, don’t try that. You fractured your skull, along with a whole host of other injuries. Enough that most humans would be dead by now. So, back on topic, your name?”

Staring up at the… humanoid pony?... the assassin replied, “Cameron “Crow” Murder. By the way, what are you? And where am I? Also, where’s my stuff?”

Although he was used to stranger looking beings- he’d had to help out during an alien invasion a few times; stupid older sister and her heroic tendencies- Crow still made a habit of asking what people were when confronted by something decidedly non-human.

“Well, to answer your question, Mr. Murder, I am Doctor Strong Beat and I am what we like to call a unicorn. You’re in the great nation of Equestria, ruled by our great leader Queen Sparkle- between you and me though, I’m not sure she’s really all there- and your stuff, as you call it, is sitting in the cabinet behind me.”

“I see.”

Crow paused, lightly testing the limits of his movement range. Strong Beat quickly put a stop to his ministrations with barely a protest from the still weak and weary Crow.

“Hrmm… How long until I can get out of here, Doc?”

“Only two weeks and nothing more, though even after, you’d still have to take it easy. You almost died, after all.”

Crow almost started before remembering his injured state. Sighing to himself, he relaxed once more; he’d almost died before, after all. One more near death experience wouldn’t exactly do much to him, now would it?

So lost in his thoughts was he that he didn’t even notice the time passing, until almost half an hour later, when a nurse informed him that the Queen had come to see him.

The queen strolled in decked out in full regalia, nearly blinding Crow with her sheer presence before he got a good look at her face.

“Hey! You’re that girl I saved…. like…. what was it… two?... months ago!” Crow shouted, realizing his mistake a second later, “Ah, heh… sorry about that your highness…”

“It’s fine, Mr… Crow, was it?” Surprisingly, the queen was rather easy to talk to. Perhaps she was new?

“Ah, yeah, well, that’s just a nickname. My name is Murder. Cameron Murder, at your service. Professional assassin, eighteen years old, registered superhero, and student straight out of my secondary schooling. I’d bow, but, well…” He motioned towards himself. The queen nodded, seemingly distracted by his words.

“I see. Well, my name is Twilight Sparkle, and I’m currently the reigning queen of Equestria by popular election. You know, you caused me a lot of paperwork these past few months.” She frowned down at him half-heartedly.

“I apologize, majesty, but I had no idea that my unintentional arrival would cause such ripples.”

She waved him off with a slight giggle, “It’s fine, it’s fine. Well, since you’ve been in a coma for the last two months, would you like to catch up on anything? I know that you may not be from this world, but I think that history would be nice for you.”

The injured man thought about the offer, “Eh, sure, why not. I could stand to learn more about the world I now live in.”

As the both settled into more comfortable positions, Twilight spoke, “Well, I guess some backstory is important if you don’t want to get lost. A little over two months ago, the land of Equestria was ruled by two Princesses, Celestia and Luna. The being that you k-killed… was Lord Tirek, a centaur that had been imprisoned in Tartarus until recently. Tirek has the ability to steal the magic from any being he encounters, and he stole enough magic to reduce almost all of the population to magic-less shells of their former selves.” She swallowed uncomfortably, “Tirek nearly drained my magic himself when you came in. But, that’s not all.” She steeled herself, “The Princesses had gifted me with almost all of their magic, hoping that I would protect it and keep the Sun and Moon from falling into Tirek’s control. Unfortunately, I managed to use all of it before you came and destroyed Tirek. I managed to gift back their control of the Sun and Moon, but they were no longer fit to rule.” Twilight’s head dropped into her hands as Crow processed the information.

“So… what happened next?”

“Well, after I’d returned the Princesses’ magic…. or what was left of it…. oh, I almost forgot; there’s one other Princess that gave her magic to me, but I never used hers. Her name is Cadence and she's my sister in law. She rules the Crystal Empire in the north.” Twilight seemed a bit out of it, just a tiny bit disheveled from her new station.

“Go on…”

“Well, after you defeated Tirek, I was elected into office, since the Princesses were weakened so much. And it’s been two months since then; I’ve been visiting every day, hoping to thank you for saving Equestria.” She blushed again, slightly embarrassed about her daily visits.

Crow also blushed, not used to anyone caring for him that much; not even his late parents had visited that often whenever he was injured.

“A-ah, it’s nothing, your highness… I just like helping people…. and assassinating some of them…” Crow stuttered, quietly mumbling the last part before Twilight could hear him.

“What was that?”

“Nothing!”

“...” She decided to let that one go, her savior was still injured after all, and pressing for answers too hastily might only worsen the wounds.

“Anyway, I, Queen Twilight Sparkle do bestow upon thee, Crow Murder, the title of Knight of the Realm in return for services to the nation of Equestria! As I have said so, so mote it be!” A bright flash of light filled the room as a large, ornate scroll dropped into existence and unfurled, revealing a list of names, all of them crossed out. The scroll unfurled further, revealing a blank space and popping out a quill, the writing instrument glistening with ink as it fell into Crow’s unbroken hand.

“I…. what?”

“I… okay then. Well, since it’s already official, I might as well…” Though normally Crow would be much more suspicious, he was hopped up on painkillers and somehow felt that the woman in front of him could be trusted, even though he barely knew her.

The strange childhood dream of becoming a knight in shining armor also held some weight regarding his decision.

With a pained flourish and a half concealed wince, Crow’s name wound up as the most recent entry on a long, long list of the highest ranking knight positions in all of Equestria. A flash of magenta light sealed the scroll once more, blinding the occupants of the room. When the light died down, Crow was standing, apparently mostly healed, though some minor bruising and scabbing was still present, and once again dressed in his mission clothes.

“The fuck just happened!?” he cried, noticing his new position.

Twilight blinked the spots from her eyes and replied, “The Knight of the Realm title manifests as a rapid acceleration in the recipient’s healing process, and the act of signing the contract allows the contract to somewhat reverse causality and return the Knight to near their prime condition should they be injured at the time of signage. However, the contract is rather limited, seeing as it is only an acceleration of the healing process, not regeneration, which is why you’re still slightly injured.”

Crow grunted and adjusted his slightly crooked collar, flipping his feathery hood onto his head and flaring out his coat. “Have to make sure the newest Knight can go into service as soon as possible, yeah? So, your highness, what should your newest subject do first?”

“Well, since Equestria’s fairly peaceful most of the time… well, I guess that’s not true…” Twilight trailed off as she stood in the doorway.

“Eh?”

“The whole world seems to have some disaster, random monster attack, villain attack, etc every week or so. Last week the Manehattan Power Ponies had to deal with the Maneiac for the fifth time this month while the Fillydelphia Marevengers had to save the city from a minor alien invasion.”

“....” Crow stopped and stared at the queen, “Holy… our worlds are almost the same…”

“Oh that’s right, you mentioned being a registered superhero.” she muttered, motioning for Crow to follow.

And thus, Crow became the Queen’s personal bodyguard, as modern vernacular would put it. Though, considering the relative lack of danger around Ponyville, there wasn’t much need for a superhero or a bodyguard, and thus Crow was relegated butler duty, though he had also been shuffled into the newly formed Equestrian Black Ops division as the second in command, just under the Director; a newly found and reformed, though no longer technically a Queen, Chrysalis.

While I Nodded, Nearly Napping

In another world

Allen's POV

I adjusted my wide brimmed hat, making sure the mask over my eyes wasn’t disturbed as I did so. The shirt I wore was a low V-neck, string bringing the two sides together. I gave a quick tug on my boots and gloves to make sure they were secure before pulling out the Sword of the Storms from the scroll underneath my cloak.

“Alright Twilight, you sure you can do this?”

Twilight rolled her eyes with a smile. She was wearing some sort of cliche wizard costume with a blue pointed hat and cloak, along with a beard. “Of course Allen. This is just a simple illusion spell. All I need to do is…” she stuck out her tongue in concentration before taping her glowing horn against the sword. In a flash of light the sword turned into a silver rapier. I grinned as I strapped it to my belt, the new sword tying my Zorro costume together nicely.

Luckily for me there was a version of Zorro in this Equestria so my costume would not go to waste. It was kind of funny how many things transferred over from earth. There’s a pony rip off of Indiana Jones, Disney Princesses, Star Wars, not to mention how the calendar has the same days, months, and holidays. I can’t be the only one who finds that odd, right?

“Come on Allen!” Twilight called from the door. “We should get moving. There’s no way I’m letting you keep Princess Luna waiting!”

I rolled my eyes as Dojo lied down on the brim of my hat before following her out. All of Ponyville was in full holiday swing. Ponies walked around in costumes, playing games like bobbing for apples and spider toss while the fillies, colts, and Pinkie Pie went door to door collecting sweets.

Against the night sky, I noticed a black cloud slinking about, taking up a spot right above before letting out a deafening crash. Pinkie and the foals quickly bolted at the sound while I just looked up at the laughing prankster pegasus. Rainbow was wearing what looked like a Wonderbolts outfit turned black, though I’m not really sure what that was supposed to be.

“Rainbow Dash, that wasn’t very nice.” Twilight scolded.

“Oh cheer up old timer. This is the best time of the year for pranks!” I glanced at Spike to seem him choking on candy while I could feel Dojo clutching my hat.

“Look what you did to Spike and Dojo!” Twilight shot back.

“Eh, it’s all in good fun.” She looked off to the side before jumping up. “Oh! Oh! There’s another one!” She pushed the cloud elsewhere, the sound of thunder and screams being an obvious indication of what was happening. I just rolled my eyes and looked around, finding Applejack over by the apple bobbing stations no less.

“Hola Applejack.” I tilted my hat at her as I approached the scarecrow pony. “Who would have guessed you’d be where the apples are.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ya, ya. Well somepony’s got to refill these things.” She took a glance at Twilight before muttering to me. “Any idea what Twi is?”

“No idea señorita.” Twilight grumbled some more as applause caught our attention nearby. Mayor Mare was making some kind of announcement

“Thank you everypony, and welcome to the Nightmare Night festival! Now all the little ponies who have been out collecting sweets should follow our friend Zecora to hear the legend of Nightmare Moon.” She tried making a spooky voice to scare anypony but all she got was laughter from the crowd thanks to her clown costume.

Zecora however was perfect for the spooky role, the zebra’s costume being covered in spiders and black. I had never actually seen Zecora before, though apparently she had been mistaken for some evil enchantress. Ironic that she plays the part so well.

“Follow me and very soon, you’ll hear the tale of Nightmare Moon.” She walked toward the Everfree Forest, the foals following right behind. Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie went with them while I just watched the parade of costumed ponies go off.

“You ain’t going with them Allen?” Applejack nudged me with a hoof.

“Nah. I think I had enough Nightmare Moon when she tried to take over Equestria. Besides, Dojo here would probably wet my hat.”

I felt Dojo’s shivering stop for a second as his head popped down in front of mine. “Hey! I ain’t no scaredy dragon! I just have an… allergy! Ya, that’s it.” I rolled my eyes as he returned to his spot, Applejack doing the same as I.

“Sure. Sounds like fun. It’ll at least past the time until Luna gets here.” I pulled of my sword and stuck it into the ground before placing my hat on it. Took me a moment to get situated over the barrel but once I was, I dove in. Try as I might though, I could not get a single apple. Eventually I had to come up for air, gasping as I did.

“Alright, this game is a lot harder than it looks.” Applejack just chuckled as I notice Rarity walk over, her hair in a massive bun along with bats in various places. Guess she’s a vampire?

“Hello Allen. I must, that costume looks perfect on you! I’m so glad it came out the way it did.”

I stood up and grabbed my hat and sword as I spoke. “Well you are the one who made it. Of course it came out great.” Before she could respond though the sky began to darken as clouds quickly moved in. The silhouette of a flying carriage pulled by ponies with what looked like bat wings appeared in the sky before the cloaked pony riding in said carriage jumped out. She landed softly, throwing her hood back to reveal an alicorn with midnight blue fur and a mane that moved on its own similar to Celestia’s.

Wait, is that Luna? For a moment, the alicorn seemed to be all business as she looked over the cowering ponies before she spotted me and smiled. “Allen! We are filled with joy to see you enjoying the festivities!” Her voice sounded like it had gone through three megaphones before being blasted right in my ears.

Woah, it is Luna! And maldita sea is she loud!! “Hola princesa. You’ve certainly changed in the past few months.”

I gave my ears a moment to recover before arching an eyebrow. “We?”

She gave me a strange look. “Yes, we. Is it not customary to use the royal we anymore? We must be honest, modern customs have been… difficult to acquire.”

Ah, right. Spending a thousand years on the moon might make you a bit out of place. “Don’t worry about it Luna. Just turn down your voice, would ya?”

Luna opened her mouth before covering it with a hoof and clearing her throat. “Apologies.” She said in a normal tone of voice. “We- I mean, I have not had much time amongst normal ponies since my return. Much of it has been spent dealing with the nobility. Many were not happy to see another princess be placed so quickly.”

“Ya, but that’s politics. Even in my world it was worse than dancing through a minefield in clown shoes.” Luna giggled, the simple act seeming to boost the scared ponies’ confidence.

Meanwhile, in a far away world in a far away Universe

A being sat in her throne, flanked by five thrones, two on her left, three on right, with one last being standing behind her and to her left.

“I’m telling you, Your Highness, I’m supposed to go on the right!”

“But then it’s not symmetrical!”

“Symmetricality can go pluck itself! We’re talking high society propriety right here!”

The queen pouted, steadfastly ignoring the snickers of her friends behind her and the increasing frustration of her butler/bodyguard.

Her bodyguard adjusted his tie and vest once again, trying not to feel too exasperated. He had, after all, just gotten out of the hospital two weeks prior.

‘Goddamn, even with magic, my arm hurts so damn bad right now’

“Anyway, Highness-” “How many times have I told you not to tell me that!?” “-...thirty seven, including this time. Very well, Miss Twilight, what about that scrap of parchment you have there? We all know it’s magical, but I’m afraid that the message on it may simply be a trap.”

Said message went as such, “I am the Xiaolin Dragon of Light. If you fight for peace, then I am an amigo of yours. Evil better beware though, ‘cause as long as I'm around I refuse to let the world fall to darkness."

Queen Twilight wanted to find some way of bringing the ‘Dragon’ into the world, her butler, Crow, thought it was a terrible idea, but would defer to his queen no matter what she did.

“How do you suppose we even summon this ‘Dragon’ anyway? There’s no instructions on it.”

The lavender monarch flipped the scrap over in her hands, eyeing it for any obvious instructions.

“No idea, Crow, but maybe we just… call him? her? forward? Can’t be too difficult, I imagine.”

Crow hid his face behind an immaculately pressed sleeve, “This will only end badly, I’m sure. And I’m still recovering from my injuries to boot.”

“Oh get over it Crow, me and the girls have it covered. I am Queen of Equestria for a good reason, you know.”

“You were elected into office after some nobles took notice of your raising the sun and moon two and a half months ago.”

“Hush,” standing and raising the scrap of parchment, Queen Twilight Sparkle announced with all of the ceremony and pomp she was capable of, “Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I, Queen Twilight Sparkle, summon you forth to this world! Heed my summons and come forth!”

A moment passed with nothing happening. Rainbow Dash coughed in the background before Rarity slapped the propriety back into her.

*     *     *

Luna and I, after getting over the initial awkwardness of everyone thinking she was the evil bringer of night, started heading around and playing games. We did apple bobbing (which neither of us were good at), spider toss, and I even got to do the Zorro ‘Z’ slash in a poster when Luna asked what my costume was. Overall it was a good-

“Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I, Queen Twilight Sparkle, summon you forth to this world! Heed my summons and come forth!”

I turned, expecting to see Twilight behind me only to see no one. Well that’s weird. I could have sworn I heard Twilight call herself a queen.

“Is something the matter Allen?” Luna asked, my stopping in the middle of the road having piqued her interest.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t think- hey, what the?!” Suddenly the Golden Tiger Claws were strapped to my hand and had a mind of their own, pulling me this way and that before slashing a portal and pulling me inside.

“Allen!” I heard Luna call behind me, looking back to see her jump in just as the tear closed behind her. All of us, Dojo included, after a time in the kooky light effects tunnel, were dropped onto a floor made of… Wait, is this crystal?

“Uh, you might wanna get up for this.” Dojo nudged me through the hat.

Crow started as a human and a decidedly not anthropomorphized pony dropped out of nowhere from a tear in reality. As they impacted the shining crystal floors of the palace -‘Goddamn this place is so gaudy’- Crow noticed the golden weapon attached to the human’s hand and the rapier at his belt and immediately shifted into ‘battle mode’, teleporting behind the human and pinning him to the ground with a foot to the spine and a knife at the throat, ready to spill blood at a moment’s notice.

“I see you’ve brought weapons into my liege’s castle. A most unorthodox manner of entry as well. So, have anything to say before I take out the garbage?”

“Uh, let’s see… I have about four señor. Sword of the Storms!” Suddenly the rapier on his belt faded away to reveal a sword made of the same golden metal as the claws he wore. The wind picked up around Crow, throwing him off as the man in black handsprung onto his feet and drew the blade.

Crow himself exploded into a mass of feathers, reappearing in his mission clothing and landing on his feet.

“So it’s a sword fight you want, eh? Then bring it!”

With more explosions of feathers, two pitch black katanas appeared in Crow’s hands, one with a serrated blade, one with a barbed tip.

The man tossed his hat aside, the creature wrapped around it yelling as it landed on top of the pony’s head. He took up a stance with the sword in one hand, holding it like the rapier it no longer was. “Come at me.”

“As you wish.”

Crow charged at the intruder, swinging both his katanas in hopes of scoring a quick disarming and an easy victory. As both of his swords failed to impact the golden scimitar, Crow, surprised beyond belief, unbalanced himself for a split second as he attempted to change his strike into a disabling slash with the flat of both blades. With him thrown off as he was though, Allen brought his foot and empty palm forward, tripping and tossing him over his head.

Allen did a quick spin of the sword in his hands before turning to Crow with a smirk. “Gotta keep those instincts a bit sharper than that to beat me hombre. Now how about you calm down before-”

“Fire.”

With one simple, deadpan word, Crow brought Allen to a pause before the the hispanic man had to frantically backpedal to avoid the twenty knives burying themselves into the ground at his feet.

“You were saying?”

“Alright, that was kind of neat.” Allen shrugged, the sword disappearing into a scroll on his back. “It won’t work a second time though.”

“Wanna bet?” Crow leapt into the air, throwing both his katanas, which dissolved into clouds of feathers that launched themselves and embedded into a huge tunic of armor that appeared around Allen.

“Two Ton Tunic.” He smirked as the tunic shrank into a regular shirt as a bulbous object formed in his hand. He pointed it at Crow before uttering “Juju Fly Trap!” A cloud of flies shot out of the open mouth, swarming Crow within seconds.

“Son of a bitch!” Crow cried, slamming back into the ground covered in flies. He rolled around in a futile attempt to dislodge the disgusting insects before finally giving up and disappearing with rush of feathers. Once he was gone, Allen took up a fighting stance, his hands in front of him as he scanned the room around him.

“Come on hombre. I gotta get back to Nightmare Night. I don’t have time to deal with you.”

Crow fluttered in right behind an oblivious Allen, waiting but a moment before tapping on the man’s shoulder and whispering, “Right behind you,” flurrying away immediately afterwards. Allen swiped where he once was before grumbling.

“Oh come on!” He threw his arms to his sides. “I already told you I don’t have time for this mierda!”

“Fine. SIDE KICK!” And Crow did exactly as he said, side kicking Allen into a wall in a slight spray of blood.

Strangely enough, Allen was still more or less unharmed, grunting as he hit the crystal. He noticed some of the blood spray that was on him before glancing at Crow. “Wait, this isn’t mine. Are you fighting me while you’re hurt? You loco?!”

Crow merely stood up straight, a faint trickle of blood dripping from his pant leg onto the ground.

“I’m charged with the personal safety of Queen Twilight Sparkle, and you just popped in out of nowhere with weapons. What am I supposed to do?”

“I dunno, maybe learn to not attack people on sight? I ain’t about to threaten anyone without a good reason, and that reason usually has something to do with the world being in danger or something.” As he spoke, the Wu he had on him disappeared into his scroll and he crossed his arms.

“Hmph. I suppose you have a point. Milady?” Twilight shifted her gaze from Crow’s leg, “Yes, Crow?”

“If you need me, I’ll be in the infirmary re-stitching my leg and abdominal wounds. Please keep safe while I return momentarily.” And Crow fluttered away, the only traces of him being the droplets of blood on the ground and the scattered feathers all over the place.

“Well at least that’s over.” He glanced at Twilight and the others who watched with varying degrees of interest. “I’m just gonna check on my friends.” He didn’t wait for a response before heading over.

Allen POV

After the crazy guy was gone, I headed over and kneeled down next to Luna and Dojo. “Hey, you two alright?”

Dojo shook his head vigorously. “Golden Tiger Claws. Wish I never had to experience those particular Wu again. Also, what was with feather brain?”

“Dunno. Apparently I threatened his queen who looks an awful lot like Twilight if she had hands and other human parts I won’t go into detail about.”

Luna moaned before getting up, looking kind of green. “Where… where are we? And why are there ponies on two legs? And how did we get in a crystal castle? There hasn’t been a building like this since we lost the crystal empire to Sombra a thousand years ago.”

“That’s because you’re in Queen Sparkle’s personal Friendship Castle, uh… Princess... Luna,” Rainbow spoke up from her throne, having shifted into a slouch as soon as Crow disappeared. I turned around, looking over the strange half human versions of my friends.

“So… anyone want to explain que demonios is going on? Cause suddenly finding myself in a crystal castle with weird looking versions of ponies I know and being attacked ain’t exactly my ideal way to spend Nightmare Night.”

Applejack spoke up this time, “Beats us, last thing t’ happen ‘fore y’all came here was Twi’ fussin’ around with some scrap a’ paper or somethin’. Made a pretty speech n’ y’all popped straight outta nowhere!”

Twilight said nothing, only blushing and hiding her face behind one of her immaculately manicured hands.

“Scrap of…” I facepalmed. “My totem. Right. I didn’t think it would spread that quickly. Probably didn’t help that I dropped in here dressed as Zorro when you were expecting a Dragon of Light.” I glanced around at the group of… I guessed they would be called anthros? Never really was into that kind of thing but hey, I don’t judge. “Did you call me here for a reason? You know, other than the usual Twilight reasoning of ‘I must discover everything’?”

“Well, Mr….?” Twilight started her sentence, but paused when she realized she didn’t know her guest’s name.

“Allen Rhodes, but Allen is just fine. I feel like an old man when people use my last name.”

Twilight continued, “Well, Mr. Rhodes, that… that actually was my reasoning this time. I saw your… Totem? appear out of nowhere and then I decided that I just had to learn about it.” She finished her sentence with a hesitant grin, a blush still present on her face.

I sighed. “Of course. Seems no matter what world you go to, Twilight is still Twilight. Still, I have no idea how I even got here so we might be stuck.”

Luna got up, the Zorro hat still on her head. Which, by the way, made her even more adorable… dios mio, what has caballo world done to me? “Perhaps this Twilight could be of assistance? That is, if you still insist that ‘Twilight is still Twilight’.”

I shrugged. “Worth a shot.” I turned back to Twilight. “So, you wanna help me figure out how to cross dimensions?”

“Of course! Helping friends is always something worth doing!” The Queen brightened up, losing her blush and nearly jumping out of her seat.

“Settle down, my liege. You’ve only known this person for less than five minutes. I’d hesitate to call him a friend already.” Crow shattered the moment by descending from the rafters and landing behind and to the right of Twilight, back in his butler uniform.

“In other news, the doctors managed to heal the worst of my wounds… again.”

“I see they didn’t fix the feather brain though.” Dojo muttered as Luna held back a snicker.

“I heard that little man! You wanna go!?” Apparently Crow had managed to hit his head on the way back, that, or he was hopped up on the massive dose of painkillers that he’d taken to dull the pain of magical healing and stitches.

I waved a hand. “Ignore Dojo. He doesn’t know when to keep his tongue in his mouth.”

Crow grumbled a little, taking up his position behind Twilight again, “Fine. But motormouth or not, next insult to come out of his mouth gets him thrown into the Roost.” One could practically hear the capital ‘R’.

“Um… okay?” I shrugged. “Anyway, I’m guessing you’re the hombre who suddenly ended up in a world not his own, right?”

“Yes, yes I am. How did you know?”

“It’s a more common story than you would probably guess. Apparently we’re called Displaced, and there are piles of us across the multiverse who got thrown into caballo and…” I glanced at the anthro ponies. “Sorta caballo worlds.”

“Ah, could you repeat that? My spanish lineage kinda died like…. eight generations ago. I’m afraid I don’t know what caballo means, though I can take a guess.” Crow shrugged, polishing his glasses with the handkerchief in his vest.

“It means horse. Like how the ponies in my world look like this,” I pointed to Luna “while the ones in your world look like that.” I waved my hand over the rest.

“Ah. Well that makes perfect sense. So, now that my adventurous spirit has been stoked, how, may I ask, would I find my way to these worlds? Would I need some sort of object like that scrap of paper of yours?” Crow adjusted his glasses once more.

“That would be a token, and you don’t actually need one. That’s just if you feel like putting yourself out there as a sort of helper for other Displaced. As for travelling between worlds…” I pulled out the Golden Tiger Claws. “These things somehow got me here when you called. Still not sure how though. I was actually hoping your Twilight could figure out how to send us back.”

“Highness? Thoughts?”

“Well, judging from the facts presented… It seems as though these… ‘Tokens’ form a contract between the user and the summoned being, so maybe terminating the contract would be enough to send you back… but, um, if you don’t mind…. could you stay a bit longer? I have a lot of questions I’d like answered.” Twilight blushed again, poking her fingers together.

I shrugged. “Sure. Figure I might as well warn Crow like Kat and Ben did for me. There aren’t exactly a lot of good Displaced out there.”

“Well then, let’s begin!” One thing constant about Twilight Sparkles nearly everywhere: Research is in their blood, and any amount of undiscovered information would be milked for all it was worth.

Twilight Sparkle’s Little Shop of Ho- I mean Twilight Sparkle’s laboratory

“Let’s start with something simple: Names?”

“Uh… our names?” Allen questioned, just looking around at the crazy tech in the lab as Luna and Dojo did.

“Yes, names. We might as well start off with something simple to start off the documentation.” Twilight had somehow acquired a near manic gleam in her eyes between the time they had left the throne room and descended into the lab.

“I’d not question the Queen; the last time someone interfered with one of her experiments, well, they’re still picking splinters out of Blueblood’s ass.”

Allen threw his eyes open in shock, muttering, “And I thought my Twilight was research loco. Well, I’m Allen Rhodes, Xiaolin Dragon of Light.”

“Princess Luna of the Night.” Luna bowed slightly.

“Dojo Kanojo Cho. Fifteen hundred year old dragon.” The snake-like dragon had wrapped himself around Allen’s shoulder, his costume having been abandoned back in the throne room for a set of monk robes he wore underneath.

“ C.. h… o… There. Now, on to more difficult questions. Hmmm, what’s your Equestria like? What year is it there? I’m assuming Princess Celestia is still in power since Luna is here, what happened to Nightmare Moon? Is there anything unique about your Equestria? What’s the most dangerous thing in Equestria right now, as in, villains, mad scientists, criminals?...” The questions went on and on, flung at a rapidfire pace more suited to a machine gun than a list of questions.

“Uh… que dices senorita?”

Crow decided then to save their poor souls, “So, how ‘bout them Displaced?”

“Right… Well, let me see what I can remember. Right off the bat I can tell you Kat and Ben are fine. Ben can be kind of rude but he’s still a cool hombre. They also mentioned a few other good ones. One was called Auric, and his token is a gold coin. Another is Gilgamesh, who apparently just shows up wherever he wants.”

“I see… So, what about Tokens? How does one make these? And what are they limited to?”

“They can be anything really. How they are made varies by the person though. I couldn’t really imitate Kat’s whole ‘mental message’ thing so I did what I could with my abilities. If you want one, maybe you can use a feather or something. I’m sure Twilight could figure something out for you.”

“Hmm, I think I’ll give it a go…” Crow concentrated, forming a sleek, black throwing knife out of feathers, charging it with as much mana as he dared, “My liege? Do I have your permission to do this?”

“Stop referring to me like that! And yes, go ahead Crow.”

“I am Crow Murder, the Queen’s Assassin. If you are in need of aid, call my name and throw my blade, and watch the blood fly.” With that, Crow flung his knife forward at nothing in particular. As it traveled across the room, it burst into a swirling mass of rainbow colored feathers and ozone, disappearing from one reality and appearing in nearly all others.

“Well that was flashier than what I did. I just gave mine to Kat and it sort of spread.” Allen shook his head. “Anyway, now for bad guys. The main ones they warned me about were Makuta Teridax, The Triad of Madness, and someone named Don. Also, a lot of Displaced may help you only because they want favors in return so be careful with who shows up.”

“Hmph, to be expected, I suppose. C’est la vie, though. So, I’m still a little banged up and tired, would you like to adjourn to the lounge for some refreshments? I could use a drink myself.”

“Just a sec.” Allen summoned the golden claws again before holding them out to Twilight. “Mind looking over these and figuring out how to send us back? I’d let my own Twilight do it if I wasn’t so worried she’d replicate them.”

“Of course! I’m always happy to study magical artifacts! … Ah… would it be alright if I studied another one? I’d like to compare the differences in the magical signatures of the two…”

Allen thought about it for a moment before holding his hand above his head. A dragon kite appeared in his hand. “Here. This is called the Longi Kite. It basically gives someone the abilities of a pegasus from what I’ve found.”

Twilight nearly squealed, snatching the kite away from Allen before disappearing into the depths of her lab, both Shen Gong Wu with her. As she vanished, a growl came from Luna, the alicorn looking down at her stomach with a blush.

“There was only sweets to eat back in our world, and they were meant for foals.” Allen chuckled before turning to Crow.

“Ya, some food would be nice now.”

“Alright then, we’ll leave Twilight down here for now; she’ll be fine. So, follow me.” Crow led the misplaced group upstairs into the foyer, stopping here and there to show off a bit of the castle.

“And here we have the library; it’s still being stocked, but it is filling up rather quickly. It currently boasts a collection of 1,632 books, ranging from simple children’s novels to advanced spell books. We can revisit here later if you like; it’s one of the best sources of entertainment in the castle… other than the TV room in the lounge, but that’s mostly Spike’s.”

“You guys have TV? Cabrones con suerte.”

“We have a lot of the technology present in early twenty first century Earth, though the automobile industry is…. lacking… in sports cars and motorcycles. Mostly cargo trucks and the occasional luxury car, really. I could go into detail, but that would take entirely too long. Suffice to say, the internet is also a thing here too. Oh, what fortuitous timing, a data terminal!” Crow paused in front of a large, clear sheet of crystal embedded in the wall at an angle, “This is basically a tablet computer on Earth, except magical in nature; you can use it to browse the internet in any way you like… though be warned, some things are quite different. Educational information is much easier to find, for one.”

“That doesn’t sound like any Internet I know of.” Allen chuckled as Luna marveled at the device, eyes glittering.

“Welcome to Equestria, Allen, we have much straighter priorities than earth ever did. Anyway, the data terminals can be found in most hallways, or if you plan on staying the night, there’s a private one in each room… just don’t try to remove them.” Luna looked slightly disappointed before following after the group.

After a few minutes more of walking, the strange entourage came to a closed door, one with delectable smells wafting under its surface.

“And here we are, the kitchens. Follow me, this will take but a moment.” Pushing the door open and shuffling inside, Crow waved to each of the various ponies within the massive kitchen.

“Golden Harvest, lovely to see you again, how’s Derpy? Apple Turnover! I haven’t seen you in weeks! How’s the cold? All better, I hope. Pumpkin Cake! What are you doing in here!? Pinkie! Take your godchild, will you!? Ah Sweet Roll! I’m gonna need to borrow some of your delectable rolls, you don’t mind, do you? French Roast, lovely as ever I see! A pot of coffee, sil vous plaît. Thank you~....”

On and on it went, Crow greeting each member of the staff in sequence, occasionally taking a spare plate of food or two, until his arms were laden down with trays of refreshments and drinks. He pushed his way through one last door on the opposite end of the kitchen, one that led to a massive room, furnished with only the best furniture, and dominated with a massive entertainment system directly to the right of a large bookcase.

“And here we are, the lounge/common room. It’s basically the hub of traffic on this level, every hallway leads to it at some point. Well? Sit, sit, help yourselves!”

The group sat down and started eating, Dojo shoveling down food rather pig-like while the others ate with some actual manners. Luna took a seat up against Allen, him not seeming to mind it either way.

“So, I recognize the little green one… Xiaolin Showdown, yes?” Crow asked, between immaculate bites of sweet roll and dainty sips of coffee.

“Yep.” Allen swallowed what he had been chewing. “Don’t really remember the show is the problem. Been kind of winging it.”

“You should have seen the first showdown he was in. It was quite comical.” Luna giggled as Allen grumbled a bit with a blush.

“I imagine it was quite comical. So, down to business. You’ve given my queen two artifacts of great, though not quite unknown, power to study. Now, me being me, I’m allowed to authorize simple trades. So, what would you have me give you in return for such a gift?” Crow leaned back and steepled his fingers, looking for all the world like a daywalking vampire in a butler suit and glasses.

Allen scratched the back of his head in confusion. “Trade? Nah, the first one was because she needs to figure out how to get us back. And the other is because I don’t see much harm in it. You don’t need to give me anything.”

Luna nudged him in the leg. “Perhaps you should ask for one of those devices we passed. I would very much like to see what they are capable of.” Allen seemed to think about it for a moment before glancing at Crow as if to say “well?”.

Crow considered the notion, “Well… one data terminal out of millions isn’t exactly going to be much of a problem…. I’ll need to get it enchanted so it lasts as long as possible… and I’ll need to fill it with useful files or somehow connect it to the Internet across dimensions…. but it’s doable. Very well, you shall have one data terminal for services rendered to the state of Equestria.” He seemed inordinately proud of himself.

Allen rose an eyebrow at this behavior. “O… kay than. If it helps, I’ve got a limitless source of electricity so you shouldn’t need to worry about powering it. And honestly, just fill it with games, movies, and stuff. That’s probably one of the few things I miss of human worlds.”

Crow sat back and thought, “Well, I don’t know if you’ll be able to enjoy such entertainment due to it not being from earth… but… aha!” He was unable to keep the smile off of his face as he leapt into the air and vanished before returning with a data terminal in a strange metal case and his visor.

“Whatcha got there?”

Crow grinned a crazy grin, “This is my visor, from earth! It’s not just any visor, though, it’s got everything you asked for and more!” He fiddled with both, receiving an affirmative beep from his visor and a slight glow from the tablet.

“So, wait, that visor had everything from your Earth? I ain’t no computer wiz, but I’m pretty sure that thing shouldn’t have that big of a hard drive.” Luna was just completely fascinated, both by the conversation and the devices.

Crow waved him off, “Nothing of the sort. It just combined some of the best technology on the planet to create a six thousand terabyte storage system with multiple backup drives. The visor functions as a really, really amazing smart phone, though lately the phone part has been abandoned for the walkie-talkie function. What I meant is that it has hundreds of movies, games, songs, tv shows, and even martial arts forms stored within it. Thankfully, the magic of Equestria allows the rune matrices on the data terminal to store almost as much as my visor, so I should be able to facilitate a good data transfer and fill this empty terminal with enough data to last you for years. If you’d like, I can include some of the local flavor too, though don’t expect a lot of it.”

Allen shrugged. “I’m sure whatever you put on there will be fine. After all, it’s more for Luna’s curiosity than my own entertainment. I spend a lot of free time training and hanging out with ponies.”

“I see, well I’ll be sure to include the best of earth entertainment… as I see it, at least. Hmm… Gonna need this… and this…. and this…. not that… hell no… nope… nope… yes… no…” Crow trailed off, his fingers working furiously as he transferred frankly ludicrous amounts of data onto the data terminal. The work continued on for the next fifteen minutes, Crow stopping occasionally to nibble at a pastry or take a sip of coffee.

Finally, Crow finished with a triumphant “Done!” and disconnected both devices, the visor vanishing in a burst of feathers, the terminal powering down as Crow etched something into its case.

“Huh. Here I thought that much info would take longer.”

“Psh, some of the best tech on one planet, and some of the best magic on another, and you think data transfers would be slow? Nah, man, this is easy. I was just sorting through folders and data collections. Well, we got the best of earth entertainment, from movies to literature, history to video games. Enjoy, Princess.” Crow handed over the etched tablet, motioning for the both of them to try it out.

Luna poked it with a hoof hesitantly while Allen just rolled his eyes and picked it up. He tapped it a few times before looking up. “Seems easy enough. Like a computer back home. Though what is this?” He turned the tablet over to look at whatever Crow had carved into it.

Crow traced it with a finger, one part of the etching glowing a faint, comforting blue. “This is a rune matrix, it ties the terminal to your magical signatures, so that no one else can use it without your express approval.” He moved on to another section, glowing a faint green, “This one is a protection matrix, which renders the terminal nearly indestructible and anchors it so that it can’t be stolen.” Another section, this one red, “This one is an ambient mana collector, which allows it to run off of the ambient mana, so long as it needs the power, at least.” One final section, this one yellow. “And this last one is an alternate power source that produces power from whatever it can, from wind energy to solar power. It also functions like a backup, preventing unrecoverable data corruption.”

The runic matrix looked like nothing but a highly intricate circle, but as it lit up, Allen saw the truth: Crow had carved the matrices to look exactly like the Google Chrome symbol. He rose an eyebrow at Crow.

The assassin shrugged, “It seemed like a funny idea at the time. Besides, the matrix naturally looks like that. The only other matrix that offers even remotely the same effects looks like the Windows logo. Well, another one looks like the Apple logo… but… well…” Crow trailed off and shrugged again.

“I won’t ask.” Allen stuck the tablet under his arm. “So, should we check on Twi and see if she’s done?”

Crow straightened up once more, disappearing from his butler outfit and reappearing in a simple set of t-shirt and cargo pants. “Alright, let’s go. The Queen should be done by now anyway.” He led the group from the room, leaving behind several empty platters of food for the castle staff to clean up. Dojo was slung over Allen’s shoulder in a food coma as Luna followed close behind, though she glanced at the tablet every once in awhile.

Allen POV

Once we made it back to Twi’s lab, she looked like… well, like she had been working nonstop for hours on end. In other words, like Twilight usually looks like. She was looking over something on a table with her back turned to us. Crow went all formal as we entered by I wasn’t really into the whole ‘queen’ thing so I just asked, “What up señorita?”

Twilight rocketed straight up, spinning around with enough force to completely ruin her already messy hairdo. “Oh, hi Mr. Rhodes! Well, I’ve completed preliminary investigations of the claws, and have discovered that one need only supercharge the claws with mana in order to cross the interdimensional barrier keeping our Universe from yours. Though, I have also found that one must first terminate the contract keeping you here. I believe that terminating the contract will allow your so-called Token to activate the claws and send you home. The readings for both seemed to indicate a connection, though exactly what it was I can’t be sure. I also took the liberty of duplicating the magic of the “Shen Gong Wu” without some of the more extraneous parts- the wager part of them was quite difficult to work around- and I made some copies of them. I hope that I haven’t overstepped my bounds.” She motioned towards a black, clawed glove and a strange harness looking object.

My eye twitched a bit as Twilight continued unimpeded. “Of course, I didn’t have anything like the original forms just lying around, so I had to input the magic ‘web’ into this gauntlet and this harness, though both should have the same effects as before. Are you alright? Your eye is twitching.”

“... Ben, I blame you for this. You convinced me Twilights wouldn’t cause problems…” I muttered to myself before facepalming. “And what do you mean ‘wager part’? That’s a magical contract built into them. Not even the most powerful magic users in my world could put a scratch in understanding it, let alone break it.”

Twilight blinked twice in surprise, eyes wide, “Really? How odd. It was quite simple to excise, though I suppose that was just due to me actually copying and holding the magical matrix in front of me…. Magitech is very useful. I suppose that a lack of incredibly advanced technology may have been the reason. The equipment in here allowed me to view the magic inside the gauntlet down to a very fundamental level, which let me extract and untangle the unnecessary bits.” She seemed very proud of her accomplishment.

I was about to snap, what with now having to deal with two more Wu, but then I realized something. They would be in this world, a world that Wuya has no idea exists. This might not be so bad. Still can’t let Twilight copy Wu, but I guess other worlds are safe enough. “Alright, I guess you can keep those. Normally I’d be kind of pissed but considering the amount of power it takes to cross worlds, you guys should be safe.”

“Oh that’s wonderful! Thank you, Mr. Rhodes. You’ve done a great service to Equestria today.” Twilight bowed and handed back the Wu. The kite turned into light, entering my scroll as I strapped on the claws.

“Well, if everything’s all done, mind if we hit the road? Dojo ate a bit too much.”

Twilight nodded, “Alright then, I hope this works. Ahem, Xiaolin Dragon of Light! I hereby declare our contract complete! You may return from whence you came!”

I looked at the claws and… nothing happened. “Uh… you sure that’s what-” Just as before, the claws began to go haywire, tugging me around the room before tearing a hole in reality.

“Luna, come- woah!” And then I was pulled in, Luna jumping in after me.

Crow grinned, "I like that guy."

Twilight grinned as well, Crow liking Allen would mean that Allen would visit more, which meant more Shen Gong Wu to study!

Suddenly There Came a Tapping

The week after Allan had came and went, Crow slipped into a bit of a fugue. Business had been slow, thus leading to him throwing himself into his butler-ing duties, leaving the whole of the crystalline palace glimmering so brightly that Queen Twilight actually needed to cover it in a layer of dust so as to prevent the accidental blinding of Ponyville’s populace.

Such peace was unfortunately never a permanent occurrence, and thus one night, the peace of Ponyville was shattered by the sound of shrieking metal and heavy footsteps.

Alarms sounded out through Ponyville as the citizens of the rural little town scattered into special bunkers purpose-built for such an event. From the east, cresting a small hill and crushing trees, came a towering behemoth of reinforced steel and magic.

They called him Angron the Annihilator; a mechanical beast forged six thousand years ago by the heretic Cults of Smooze to destroy the land given and blessed by the goddess Faust. With a nearly indestructible, partially exposed power core dyeing the sky a menacing red and mana turrets tracking all movement, the golden destroyer filled out an impressive sixty meters of height and a staggering seven hundred tons, cratering the earth beneath it with each step. The annihilator also gave off an astonishing amount of heat, the grass igniting upon contact with its massive feet and clouds vaporizing at its passing.

When it cleared the hill, leaving a massive trail of burning footprints in its wake, it spotted the crystalline castle dominating the skyline of Ponyville. A mighty bellow issued forth from its mechanical maw, shaking the ground and causing birds to take flight for miles. Angron burst into frenzied motion, mana lasers firing in every direction as he stormed toward the offending piece of multi-hued architecture, not noticing the tiny cloud of feathers swirling around its back.

Inside the castle, Crow awoke to the sound of alarms well before his actual alarm was set to go off. Springing out of bed, he stared out the window and brought up his visor to scan the approaching object.

“....Holy…” Crow muttered. The thing’s readings were way too high for its size. The image from the thermal scan nearly blinded him, same with the radiation scan and the magic scan. As he stared in awe, the queen burst into his room with a cry of, “Crow! Do something about that! Normal Equestrian magic doesn’t work on it!”

With that, Crow sprung into action, flurrying away, only to reappear an instant later, still clad in his white-with-black-crows pajamas and similar nightcap, cursing angrily, “Dammit, my clothes are still in the dryer!” He pulled on his boots and swished his backup cloak around himself, wishing that he hadn’t put off his laundry until only a few hours prior and grabbing a small black object. Then he leapt out into the night air, slapping the object onto his chest as it extended straps around his torso. Cloak flaring with the updraft, Crow slapped the disk on his chest and shouted, “Nevermore Harness!” The next instant, his descent slowed and he rose into the air, trailing a stream of feathers that formed into an indistinct mass resembling a phantom pair of wings and a tail.

“Alright you ugly bastard… you come into my town, blow up my streets, and approach my castle with the intent to destroy it? Do you have any idea just who the hell I am!? I’ll tell you: I’m the man who’s gonna kick your metal ass all the way back to the pit you came from.” He struck an impressive pose, cloak billowing out behind him and phantom wings spread out to make him seem bigger than he really was. Of course, the pajamas and night cap ruined the effect.

Silence as more of the town ignited under Angron’s oppressive heat aura. Then, a repetitive shriek of metal issued forth from the behemoth’s golden maw, its shoulder pauldrons shaking up and down as it doubled over and gripped its massive abdominal area.

“Are… you’re… you-” Crow temporarily lost his ability to speak as he glared daggers at the massive laughing being below him. “You know what? Fuck it. Knife.”

Angron perked up in confusion, cocking his head at the tiny flying one’s phrase. Then he reeled back in surprise as a massive cloud of daggers appeared out of nowhere and stabbed into the robot’s cyclopean visor, blinding it and cracking the six thousand year old enchanted ruby.

“How’d you like that, bitch?” Crow taunted, propelling himself in a shallow arc around Angron.

A mighty bellow rippled the air, slamming into Crow and launching him deep into the Everfree Forest as Angron followed the shouting and cursing assassin’s trail, half blinded and turrets  poised.

Crow groaned and pushed himself out of the splinters of a tree. Thankfully, he hadn’t been too injured, but his ears still rung, and the harsh noise around him didn’t help. He finally opened his eyes, taking in the slowly focusing scene around him.

Birds. Birds everywhere. A veritable wall of blacks, browns, and blues. Crows, ravens, jackdaws, jays, rooks, nutcrackers, treepies, choughs, hundreds of birds. Some of them larger than normal, some of them looking like hybrids of other bird families.

“Where the fuck am I?” Crow muttered, moving slowly so as to not agitate the flock.

‘You’re in my Nesting Grounds, human.’

“Holy shit!” Crow spun to face the being behind him, some small part of his brain wondering why the voice had a harsh cawing in the background.

He found a crow, a massive one. Standing easily six feet tall and covered in bright white feathers, the large bird’s piercing red eyes bored into Crow’s own, exuding a presence that felt distinctly king-like.

‘I am Daiō Reivun. The lord of this hallowed ground. Human, why have you come here?’ The newly named Daiō Reivun perched expectantly upon the trunk of a fallen tree, gazing upon Crow with cool amusement.

“The town I live in is under attack by a massive robot, I got knocked over here and I’m pretty sure it’s following my trail. This area might not be safe anymore… uh… sir…” Crow’s gaze darted around, noting the steadily increasing crimson glow coming in from the west.

‘I was born in this patch of forest and I shall die here, human. I sense that you are trustworthy, so my clan will aid you. Come, my brethren! We shall fight!’

As the king crow announced this, a massive cacophony rose into the air with the massive flock, each bird trailing a streamer of light; a flock of thousands of corvids. The single largest gathering of corvids on mainland Equestria. Each bird with their own magic, each bird with the drive to destroy the marauding robot smashing its way through the Everfree.

They took flight, Crow and all, flying toward the behemoth tearing through the Everfree as if it had personally offended the golden destroyer. Which it had, what with all the latent nature magic and all.

Back to Crow, he found himself with a curious passenger; a rather large raven was perched upon his head even as he flew with the rest of the flock.

“And… who the hell are you?” Crow asked, preparing his feather blades even as his aetherial wing constructs propelled him through the air.

‘I’m Yatagarasu, Daiō Reivun’s grandson. Hey, what’s your name?’

“Cameron Murder. You can call me Crow. So, what can you guys even do? This guy’s really big and all…”

Angron was now in sight, tearing a blazing trail through the forest. The flock of birds converged upon Daiō Reivun and there they waited as the magitech behemoth strode forth.

‘Hold... hold…’ the old crow muttered, flaring a brilliant gold as the rest of the flock did the same, each bird creating a differently colored aura.

Fifty meters. Angron had spotted them.

Forty. Angron lifted its arm turrets in preparation, scanning over the flock and aiming directly at Crow himself.

Thirty. The beams charged.

‘ATTACK’

But they never fired. Or rather, they never hit anything other than scattered feathers and air.

The screaming flock of birds descended upon the golden behemoth like a whirlwind of blades, wingtips carving trenches into armor, beaks piercing delicate joints, claws rending alloy as if it were mere butter.

Angron roared in annoyance, swinging his arms wildly in a futile attempt to either squash the birds or swat them out of the air. The birds retaliated viciously in their defense of their nesting ground, damaging Angron’s delicate runic matrices and causing an ever increasing amount of systemic failures.

Back in Ponyville, disaster relief efforts chipped away at the flames engulfing the town. Twilight, meanwhile, stared worriedly out the window towards the horizon line, where the flailing form of Angron could just barely be seen beyond the canopy of the Everfree.

“Crow I hope you know what you’re doing….” She muttered, mentally preparing herself for what may lay ahead.

The other Elements of Harmony had assembled as soon as Crow had drawn away Angron, and were silently waiting for the go ahead to Rainbow Power blast the mecha should it become necessary.

After a good, tense fifteen minutes of waiting, a roar shook the earth one final time even as the crimson glow on the horizon receded.

A moment of silence.

And then a massive explosion rocked all of Ponyville from miles away, flattening a massive chunk of the Everfree and sending scorched chunks of gold raining from the heavens up to a hundred miles away.

Back in the castle, all six girls (And one diminutive dragon) stared in silent shock and worry at the massive bonfire engulfing the Everfree’s deeper reaches.

“Is… is Crow alright?” Fluttershy whimpered, eyes staring transfixed at the blaze slowly creeping over the horizon.

All of the girls stared at each other, wondering the same thing. Just then, a pegasus burst into the room via the balcony, reeking of exhaustion and soot.

“Rainbow Dash! We need you to help us organize the weather team! We have to put out the blaze before it spreads further!”

Rainbow shook herself and straightened up, grabbing the collapsed pegasus under his shoulders and hoisting him up. “Right! C’mon girls, we should probably see if we can’t find Crow in that mess, right?” With that, she rocketed off, anonymous pegasus dangling over her shoulder.

Twilight’s back straightened, unconsciously slipping into ‘Queen Mode’, as Pinkie dubbed it. “Alright girls, let’s head out! Crow may be injured out there and we won’t know for sure until the fire’s put out. But, we should at least head over there and check, even if we can’t help with the weather teams!”

A general consensus filled the room as all five girls (And one diminutive dragon) rushed out of the room and out towards the Everfree Forest.

Far away, at the very epicenter of the blaze, Crow extricated himself from the ruins of Angron’s massive ruby core, protected from the blast only by the core’s very own nigh indestructibility.

“Ugh… two outta ten. Would not do again,” Crow coughed out, already feeling the exhaustion and pain of the burns all over his uncovered areas.

“Owww… my feeeeeet…..”

Up in the still standing trees, all of the birds still alive and mostly healthy guarded the scene, protected by their own magical auras.

As the blaze intensified and the rush of smoke and dry wind deafened Crow, he stood shakily and noticed that many of the birds were all gathered around the wreckage of a single tree. Limping over and trying desperately to ignore the burning in his feet and legs. He was in a terrible state, clothes all but shredded and skin covered in burns and scratches. All this was ignored as he gently pushed his way through the crowd of corvids, finding a nearly dead Daiō Reivun laying in the shattered remnants of a tree.

“Oh… lord…” Crow murmured, taking off his still undamaged visor in shock.

“Human… come closer…” The massive crow was majestic even when mortally wounded, stark white feathers still glowing. Crow stepped forward, finally seeing the gaping hole torn through Daiō Reivun’s left wing, a hole large enough to nearly separate the wing entirely from the bird’s torso.

“Daiō Reivun, you wanted to see me?” Crow asked, kneeling next to the wounded king.

“Yes… You have proven your valor in combat… You… are worthy. Though long since unprecedented, you are my heir. Take my magic, fledgling… and use it to soar to new heights, such that none has ever reached before.” He shuddered, the golden flames around his form sputtering to a halt and collecting in his chest. And with his final breath, Daiō Reivun pushed the ball of golden light into a startled Crow’s chest, where it expanded into a swirling inferno around Crow’s whole body. The teen shook his head at the warmth, noticing the single streak of white in his hair as it fell around his face.

“I… What?” Crow didn’t know what to think, not used to the concept of any being naming him their heir so soon after he’d met them. What he did do was whip off his tattered cloak and use the ragged length of fabric as a makeshift burial shroud. A single portion of Crow’s mind idly noted that the cloak had torn and burned in the exact manner so as to form  a raven as it draped over Daiō Reivun’s corpse.

The sky above opened into a torrential rain as all of the birds gathered shrieked at the heavens in a mournful song.

Crow stared up at the clouds and the gathered pegasi, waving idly at Rainbow Dash as she descended, slipping his visor back on and never noticing the slight flash of red in his eyes.

Rapping at My Chamber Door

A dreary morning, six weeks past the destruction of Angron. Rain fell from the overcast skies in torrential sheets as frantic pegasi struggled to reign in the excess water vapor. One rainbow maned pegasus grit her teeth and muttered, “Dammit, how does Cloudsdale keep messing up our orders? Honestly, who’s in charge of cloud requisitions anyway!?”

Far away, in a small cloud shack off the edge of Ponyville, a lone, gray mare sneezed, sending her golden eyes rotating in opposite directions.

“Oh… I just don’t know what went wrong!”

Back in Twilight’s (Semi-waterlogged) Friendship Castle, Crow whistled pleasantly as he strolled through the corridors, a stream of abnormally soft and dull feathers trailing behind him, dusting the hall as he went. Once he came upon the throne room, he found his liege sitting with four other mares, one pink, one white, one blue, and the last semi-insectoid and black.

“Good morning my liege, I see you have guests?” He greeted, waving idly to the semi-bemused mares.

Twilight spoke up, drawing him over, “Good morning Cameron, come over, I’d like you to meet my friends.”

He strode forth, the stream of feathers behind him coalescing into a feather-collared cloak around him. As he drew near, he took off his (Purely ornamental) glasses and bowed to the four other mares in the room. “Greetings, miladies, my name is Cameron Murder, also known as Crow. Pleasure to meet your acquaintances.”

Three sets of giggles reached his ears, along with a fourth, dual-toned and husky chuckle. The mare on the far left, the black one, spoke, her voice coming in with an odd echo, “Well, isn’t every day that I get such a greeting, now is it? Not since I tried to take over the nation a few years back, right Cady?”

The pink one, ‘Cady’, glared at the slightly scary one, “And I still haven’t forgiven you for trying to steal my husband.”

Before the conversation could devolve further, the tall, white mare cut in with a motherly tone, “Cadence, Chrysalis, as much as you two dislike each other, I’m sure our friend here would appreciate some introductions in return, yes?”

Both mares straightened immediately, pink- apparently Cadence- smoothing out her dress while black- Chrysalis- brushed some dust from her pantsuit.

Cadence spoke first, “Hello, I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but you may call me Cadence. I rule the Crystal Empire in the far north.”

Crow bowed again, kneeling and kissing the back of her hand, as he had been repeatedly taught by Rarity.

Crow hated propriety when it came to interpersonal actions. Generalized formality, such as the placement of people, was fine, but greetings and such were never his strong suit.

Judging from Twilight’s semi-disapproval, it was clear that he was being a bit too formal.

“Forgive me if I’m being overly formal. It appears as though her majesty wishes this to be a friendly gathering.” With that, Crow stood at attention and sat in one of the many chairs, this time receiving a tiny sliver of approval.

“It’s fine, Cameron. Now, let’s return to introductions, yes? My name is Celestia, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Celestia waved cheerfully, daintily lifting her tea cup as she did. “Hmm. This tea is truly exquisite, Twilight, where ever did you find such a blend?”

Twilight took a sip of her own, cocking her head in confusion, “I… I’ve never actually had this blend before, Pr- Celestia… I didn’t even know we had it! Cameron, do you know where this tea is from?”

Our resident superhero nodded, “Yeah, I got a bunch of herbal leaves from the birds a few days ago and spent some time experimenting. They share a close resemblance to tea leaves from my home reality, actually– Green Tea, to be exact.”

“Whatever this is, it is quite suited to our tastes,” spoke the blue mare, “Ah, apologies, Sir Cameron. I am Luna, former princess of Equestria.” Luna nodded her head in lieu of bowing and sipped her tea, wings fluttering in pleasure.

The gathering went on for many hours, eventually leading late into the night.

“Oh my,” Celestia spoke, “I hadn’t realized that it was so late already… Far too late to take a chariot back to Canterlot at this point…”

Twilight caught on to her meaning right away, “Well, we do have a rather large amount of guest rooms…”

“.... I’ll fetch the linens…” Crow muttered, already halfway out the door and sparking with stray feathers.

Midnight in Twilight’s Friendship Castle.

Luna stayed up late to watch over the night. Despite her reduced stature and ability, the Alicorn of the Night was still more than capable of raising the moon and dreamwalking, though some of her more complex or power draining magics were now unavailable to her.

As she stood, basking in the moonlight, she heard the light rustling of wings as hundreds of corvids settled around her, the entire flock consisting of various species, sizes, even abnormal colorations.

A single footstep caused her to swing around, startled. Crow, meanwhile, waved a greeting and set his cargo down on a convenient table.

“What brings you up here, Luna?” he asked, pouring the two some tea as the birds watched.

She returned her vigil over the night as she took the offered tea, replying with a curt, “Tis our job, Cameron. We watch over the night and the dreams of all of Equestria’s citizens.”

“I see…” Crow sat on the edge of the railing, perched as if he himself were a bird, and kept Luna quiet company as she oversaw the night.

The flock of corvids silently took wing as one, returning back into the castle attic for the night, leaving the Alicorn Ex-Princess and the otherworldly assassin/superhero/butler to simply enjoy the other’s company.

Luna slouched against the railing, looking up at her moon, round and beautiful and oh so brilliant. She spoke softly, as if she were afraid of disturbing the peaceful silence that had fallen upon the two.

“Sir Cameron, if you would, what was your homeworld like? We find ourselves curious about the home of Equestria’s newest knight of the realm.”

Crow stumbled a little, turning his sudden backwards fall into an elegant back flip. Curiosity flittered across his face as he thought of his reply. A light breeze rippled the air as he spoke, lending an air of gravitas to what was essentially a glorified history lesson.

“Well, there’s not much to tell,” he began, choosing his words carefully, “My world is much like this world, save for the fact that humans are the dominant species and that technology advanced in different areas. There’s heroes, villains, criminals, and the lowly assassins. Of course, it was much less peaceful– the world here is just so much happier, I can almost feel it. There were hundreds of countries across the planet, really, and each one was home to at least one hero. Whether they were big time and travelled a lot and joined a team or small time, like me, was entirely up to them. Well, that’s about most of the world in general, I suppose.”

Luna hummed in thought, mentally adjusting the course of her precious moon a few degrees to the left. “But what of yourself, sir Cameron? We are interested in you as well.”

“Me? Well, I’m nothing special, really. Just a kid from Los Angeles, assassinating people and being a small time hero by night, desperately trying to pass high school by day.” Crow leaned against the railing next to Luna, also watching the moon.

“Surely you jest, sir Cameron! There must have been something interesting about you!”

Crow stared at Luna through his visor. “You just want me to tell you my life story don’t you?”

“Well… yes…”

“Fine, fine…” He sighed, “Okay, well, I was born to the third most renowned assassins’ guild in the world, a family line that stretches, unbroken, all the way back about thirteen hundred years. Me, I was born in the year 1998, on July ninth. When I came here, the year was 2016. My home town, Los Angeles, was a massive metropolis and home to a majority of America’s film industry. I’ll give you the geography of Earth later, if you want.” He stopped for breath, sipping at his tea before continuing.

“I never left Los Angeles for more than a few weeks for all eighteen years of my life, again, until I came here. Now, in LA, I was just an average kid on the outside– superhero’s gotta keep his secret identity and all, yeah? But I lived alone. My parents, the heads of the guild– the Murder Family– didn’t really always have time to raise me as a child, so I got shuffled around between any relatives who could spare the time. Of course, I managed pretty well, but then I turned ten years old in the summer of 2008. That was the year I first came into my powers.” He held up a hand for emphasis, feathers peeling out of his skin and swirling around before dissipating back into the ether. “‘Course, they were weak for the first few years– I couldn’t really teleport in any degree of usefulness until I was twelve. I’d been raised as an assassin as soon as I was seven, so I already had most of the basics down by then. First thing I learned about my powers was that each feather was sharp enough to cut through a six inch block of steel when fired at normal speed. Then I learned that I could turn them into bladed weapons. My family was so jealous– I could never really be disarmed, y’know?”

“I know”

“Right, so, as soon as I hit thirteen, I was old enough, according to my family, to be an assassin for real. At this point I could teleport as far as a good hundred meters, and my auto-teleport came in that year too. So I went and I became an assassin. First kill I had left me vomiting for an hour and left me bedridden for a week with nightmares.” He let out a humorless chuckle as Luna put a hand to her mouth in horror, wings rustling in agitation.

“Your parents let an adolescent assassinate someone!?” she nearly yelled, stunned at the apparent brutality of Crow’s homeworld.

“Yup. But it gets better. So, two years later, my activities get picked up by the main superhero team on Earth, the League of Heroes. So I get taken in right after an assassination, quivering in my size ten combat boots, terrified at what a group of superheroes would do to little, fifteen year old me. And then, the best part is that they let me off with a slap on the wrist and a probationary status as a member of the League. I never asked why, but at that point it was all I could do not to vomit in fear. I… I have a strange propensity to vomit in stressful situations, though now it’s only when I’m injured a great deal.”

Luna fanned her face in disgust, clearly not enjoying the topic. As Crow paced around the rooftop and basked in the pale moonlight, he continued monologuing, “So, a year later, after not taking any assassinations for that entire year, I get called in, made a full member of the League, and put on a team of heroes. Sixteen years old and part of the big leagues, not bad, right? Well… here’s the difficult part.”

Crow stopped, taking deep breaths as he fought down tears and tried to tell a coherent narrative.

“Crow get out of here! It’s a trap!”

“I can get you out of there! Just hang tight!”

“No, DON’T!”

“C’mon, c’mon! Dammit!”

“AAAAAAAGH!”

“NO!”

“My first mission… it seemed so simple… but it was a trap and I choked…” Crow’s visor came off, revealing tear-filled green eyes.

“Vell, vell, if it isn’t mein favorite group of heroes, ze Corvidae.”

Heavy boots strode across metal grating, echoes distorting the sound and making the owner impossible to track.

“Und look, you haff a leetle baby bird vis you! Vat is zis vun’s name, hmm? Ze last vun, Rook, vas it? He screamed soooo nicely… vill you do ze same, baby bird?”

“Baron von Sterben… we were sent to Germany to take him down; end his weapons trafficking ring. If possible, track down whether or not there was a human trafficking ring too…” Crow shuddered, stray feathers filling the air as his pacing became more frantic.

“You are trapped, Corvidae! Zere is no vay to escape zis cage! Und if your leetle friend tries, you vill all be crushed to death!”

“You asshole! I’m gonna kill you when I get out of this thing!”

“We went in, took down a bunch of thugs… and then I got hauled into a net and thrown into a cage that drained my powers.”

“Crow!”

“Dammit you guys! Focus on yourselves, I’ll find a way out of here! I wasn’t born into the third best assassins’ guild for nothing!”

“My team, none of them could teleport, the most they could do was try and fly out… but only one of the team could fly, and his wings were shredded by a ball of razor wire three minutes after. They were caged… no way to climb out… if they tried to break the walls… the entire cage would flood and they’d drown since they were chained to the floor. There was a massive hydraulic press there too… if I broke out and tried to free them… it would crush them to death.”

“You son of a bitch! Take that!”

“Augh!”

Blood splattered the walls as Baron von Sterben’s head fell into the pit.

“I broke out… killed the Baron… tried to free them… but… I choked. I was so full of anger and worry that I forgot I could teleport them out! They died… electrocuted by the chains, drowning, and finally crushed under seventy tons of tungsten steel…” Crow broke down in tears, sinking to his knees in grief and throwing his visor to the side.

“My best friend was on that team… we used to meet up after she came back from a mission, share a coffee… Raven… Rachel Albjorn… best damn pyromancer I’d ever seen… was gonna ask her to go out with me after that first mission…”

Luna knelt by Crow, laying a hand on his back and trying to console him. They sat like that for an hour before Crow finally calmed down.

“I’m sorry, it’s just… that was… There’s a lot of bad memories there…” Crow murmured, slowly climbing to his feet.

Luna sighed, “Tis not a crime to share thine feelings, sir Cameron. And as Twilight Sparkle would say, talking about things usually makes them easier to deal with.”

“Yeah, maybe…” The assassin stooped over and picked up his visor turning it over in his hands. He ran his fingers over its etched surface, calmly revelling in the memories contained in the blue-gray metal.

“Y’know, this used to be Raven’s visor…” Crow started, slipping the visor back onto his face. “She gave it to me a few years back after a mission… said she didn’t need it anymore.”

Luna said nothing, quietly offering a supporting hand on his shoulder.

“My first and last mission for the League… and it ended in the deaths of my best friend and four others… some hero I am. After that, I went solo, stuck to LA, got a nickname in the criminal circles. Heh, ‘Mr. Murder’; a fitting title, I guess. Well, that’s my story. What about yours?”

Crow’s words offered a welcome relief from the previous tension filling the air, even if the boy-no, young man, Luna corrected herself- seemed all too lost in his memories.

“Well, we– What was that?” An almost unnoticeable tremor shook the castle as an ominous aura snapped into being.

Crow’s depression disappeared in an instant, all traces of emotion locked behind a cruel mask of professionalism. “Source unknown. Detecting high concentrations of dark magic. Tracking source. Scanning… Infrared, Ultraviolet, X-ray, Sonar…”

He took to the air, circling around the entire castle in broad spirals, head twitching left and right as he trailed hundreds of feathers around the castle.

Just as he passed under a particularly shadowed alcove, a tendril of something struck him in the side, engulfing him and slamming him into the ground in a spray of debris.

“Cameron!” Luna cried, charging her horn with shining magic and leaping into the fray.

“Œ„´‰ˇ˝˛ı˝Ó˜ÂÒÓÏ˛¸˛ÎÇ◊ı˜ÔÒ˘¸‰´ÅÁ˝¨ÁØ∏ØˆÂÂ¸ÒØˆÓª˙ª˙œ¨∆˜ˆ∂øˆ∆å˜øˆ¥©ø∂!” An unknown, obscene language pierced through the stillness of night, smoky tendrils of shadow lashing out with strange distortions in space and slapping Luna aside, her miscast spell impacting the side of the castle in a brilliant flash of piercing moonlight.

The shadowy being recoiled, throwing itself, inadvertently, into the pale light of the real moon. Red eyes gleamed with hatred as the shadow formed itself into a twisted parody of equine form, clawed and fanged and surrounded by a smoky aura.

“Damn you… Thou shalt die for thine interference!” The creature growled, voice guttural and unnatural, laced with dark magics and demonic corruption.

Luna crawled from her crater, weakened and cursing her own state. Then she noticed the malignant entity standing but a scant few meters away.

“You!”

The dark spectre chuckled, “Hello Luna… long time no see.”

And as it lashed out towards her with its suddenly elongated claws, it hissed out an all too familiar word.

“Crysstalsssssss….”

"Tis Some Visitor," I Muttered,

“Crysstalsssssss….”

Luna’s eyes widened in shock, throwing herself back and up into the air in a flurry of feathers as she shouted, “How can this be!? You were killed nearly a year ago!”

The dark spectre chuckled malevolently and flexed its claws. “You should know that true evil can never die, Luna. And… I made a friend.”

The Princess of the Moon flapped over to Crow’s position slowly, gingerly cradling her wounded side as she kept an eye on Sombra’s seemingly undead form. “And what foul beast would make a contract with such a being as you?”

“Search your feelings, Luna, you know they never lie.”

“That’s–! That’s impossible! The Nightmare was sealed away, never to return!”

A smoky, unnatural mist filled the air as Sombra’s Nightmare-corrupted form dematerialized, a horrifying feeling of death and despair penetrating Luna’s mental defences as if they weren’t there– and considering who Sombra had struck a deal with, they might as well have not been.

She shrank back into herself, desperately trying to shake Crow back into alertness. “Sir Cameron! Cameron! Please, wake up!” she cried, throwing up weak glimmers of moonlight to fight back the encroaching mist.

With a weak and weary groan, Crow shook himself awake and into a sitting position. “Th’fuck hit me?”

Luna sighed in relief and pulled him close, eyes darting from side to side as the shadowy mist darkened and seemingly grew claws.

“Oh. That’s what hit me.” Crow shook his head to clear out the cobwebs and grabbed Luna around the waist, standing and dragging them both out of existence in a swirl of feathers as the claws in the mist finally coalesced and slammed into their previous position just a second after they’d teleported.

Atop the castle, Luna spilled onto the crystal surface with a groan and a cloud of feathers, Crow popping out right behind her and taking up a vigil on the edge of a nearby railing. He spoke quietly to the recovering ex-princess, trying to keep unnoticed by the malevolent entity circling around the base of the castle.

“Okay, I know that that surge of dark magic woke up Celestia and Her Majesty, probably, so we should get some backup soon. We just need to hold off that thing until they get here.” He muttered darkly to himself, scanning and pacing while Luna slowly recovered from her nausea. As she did so, she shot a half-hearted glare at his back, slowly standing with a hand to her head.

“As much as I appreciate the save, Sir Cameron, I must respectfully ask you to never do that… abomination of a teleport again on me, unless you absolutely have to,” she groaned, barely able to concentrate enough to cast a quick hangover relief spell.

Crow paid her no mind, instead continuing to pace along the edge of the rooftop, sending down exploding feathers here and there to drive back the shadows surrounding and circling the castle proper.

Inside, Twilight’s room light clicked on as the Queen’s voice rang out in Crow’s ear.

“Crow what in the name of Tartarus is happening out there!? What was that surge of dark magic!?”

“Not sure, Majesty, seems to be a shadowy demon. Princess Luna, do you know who this is?” The assassin looked over at Luna, who was currently staring down at Sombra’s form with a concerned frown upon her face.

She spoke, the barest hint of a tremble in her tone, “Tis an old enemy of mine and my sister’s… Sombra, the Mad King of the Crystal Empire. And… he has teamed up with the Nightmare.”

Crow’s eyes briefly widened behind his visor as he asked, “You guys got that? Sombra and the Nightmare, if you didn’t. This is, as they say on Earth, baaaaad juju.”

“... Crow, I swear to Faust, please, please, be kidding.”

He looked over to Luna, then over the balcony to where Sombra still stood, cloaked in billowing shadows and grinning like a shark. “.... I’m gonna have to say… not kidding.”

“..... Well, there goes my night of sleep,” Twilight muttered from over the communicator. A brief burst of sound accompanied a hasty teleport spell as said lavender alicorn appeared on the roof in a burst of light. Accompanying her were the still slightly sleep-addled forms of Celestia, Cadence, and Chrysalis, each one clad in their respective sleepwear.

“Crow, what’s the situation?” Twilight asked, already charging a spell of some sort.

Crow blinked and stared over the edge of the railing once more, “Well, it looks like Sombra’s kinda just… standing there and looking all menacing.”

Just as he finished his sentence, the castle shook at its foundations and the entire structure began tilting. “Nevermind! He did something!” Crow grabbed all four alicorns plus one changeling queen and teleported off the castle’s collapsing base, reappearing some fifty feet away from Sombra’s grinning shadowy form. Said shadow-pony grinned and snapped his fingers, the unnatural mist around him swirling and receding as his eyes flashed a brilliant teal color.

Twilight shook herself and tried to dispel her nausea, the groaning forms of the other former princesses and current changeling queen falling to the ground behind her. Crow at least had the good grace to look sheepish for half a second before refocusing on the more pertinent matter.

Immediately, Crow disappeared, the air around Sombra flickering as bursts of shadows and feathers erupted from hundreds of different areas all around the mad king’s body. With a flickering of displaced air and feathers, Crow reappeared right beside Twilight even as Sombra laughed, the demonic sound tearing from his throat like a chainsaw revving in a tunnel.

“Physical attacks ineffective, don’t have anything beyond explosives. This situation sucks.” Crow’s words were punctuated by a massive groaning and crashing as Twilight’s castle finally finished its strangely slow descent, collapsing to the ground and sending splinters of crystal flying for hundreds of meters, impaling houses and tearing up the road.

Crow flickered around the battlefield, reappearing in random places as he was pelted by shrapnel and dodging out of the way of larger chunks. Twilight, meanwhile, had thrown up a bubble shield around the princesses and Chrysalis, fending off the storm with almost negligent ease. As the debris finally settled, the scene resembled something akin to a ruined and snow-less Crystal Empire, the various belongings and corpses strewn about adding to the tragedy.

Twilight glanced about, hot tears of despair and rage filling her eyes. Celestia and Luna recovered enough from their nausea to glare at Sombra while Cadence only stared about in abject horror. Chrysalis, meanwhile, was already charging an orb of verdant energy, the neon green ball of magic pulsing with heat and fury.

Crow flittered around Sombra once more, distracting the mad king while the mares behind him shook off their shock and joined the fight. Around the very edges of the battlefield, the panicked citizens alternately gaped in shock or ran away, five more prominent citizens running in the opposite direction; directly toward the fight.

Rainbow Dash arrived first, sliding to a halt behind Twilight, still dressed in the t-shirt and boxers she wore to bed. “What the hay’s happening, Twi!? What happened to the castle!?” As the rest of the former Elements of Harmony arrived, the all gaped at the ruins of the crystalline palace and just barely took notice of the one responsible for the destruction.

Rarity was the first to speak up, pointing a manicured nail at Sombra’s billowing form, “I-is that… who I think it is, darling?”

Twilight nodded, a resolute expression setting itself on her face. “Yes. And he’s the one who destroyed my castle, killed so many of my staff, and damaged so much of the surrounding area. He’s also made a pact with the Nightmare, so be careful girls, I don’t want any of you getting hurt.”

All six girls stood ready, Twilight leading, even as the other three princesses and Chrysalis formed up beside them.

“Gah-fuck!” Crow’s cry of pain echoed through the air as the assassin flew backwards, tumbling to a halt at Twilight’s feet, bleeding slightly from his mouth, chest, and nose. Shaking his head, he gathered his wits and rose to a shaky kneel. “Careful, Twilight, he’s got some sort of shockwave– couldn’t see it clearly, got hit before I could do anything.”

Twilight rested a hand on his shoulder and spoke, not taking her eyes off of Sombra’s still stationary form, “Crow, you’ve done enough. I know you want to help, but at this point, you’re not doing anything, so please just stay back and be safe, alright?” Sombra continued standing where he was idly examining his claw-like nails in casual arrogance.

Crow relaxed slightly, jumping backwards and landing behind a large chunk of crystal to bandage his chest wound. As soon as Sombra’s head turned to follow Crow’s movement, Chrysalis launched her orb of magic at Sombra, the green ball of fury tearing across open air and slamming home into a shield of purest obsidian and obliterating it completely. Sombra growled, immediately homing in on the source of aggression.

“Bad move.”

Chrysalis’ response was to throw another orb, prompting Celestia and Luna to both launch their attacks, poisonous green mingling with sunfire and moonbeams to shred away the cloak of shadows that surrounded Sombra. Twilight took this distraction to join hands with her friends, the six of them standing in a circle and allowing their emotions to surface, a brilliant corona of rainbows forming around them and changing them.

The Nightmare drew back from the source of the light, hissing in pain even as it pumped more power into Sombra. The mad king lashed out, knocking Celestia, Luna, and Chrysalis back with a whip of shadow before attempting to impale the six ex-Elements with spires of dark crystal.

Cadence charged up her own spell, a magenta bubble of Love magic spreading from her form and impacting the forming crystals, shattering them before they even came close to the steadily growing orb of light.

Sombra growled again and split his focus, shadowy doppelgangers forming behind him and spreading out to attack each opponent directly. Celestia and Luna immediately went on the defensive, almost forgotten melee skills coming back into the fray as they grappled with the shadowy constructs. Celestia incanted a single line, “Sol Eternus,” and drew a sword of fire from the air, the light coming from it driving back Sombra’s clone. Luna herself merely punched her opponent with a fistful of concentrated moonlight, the cold, silver light extending out and forming into an ornate lance.

Twirling the lance around and taking up a defensive position at her elder sister’s back, she belatedly announced the name of her weapon, “Argento Mors.”

Nearer to the ruined entrance, Cadence and Chrysalis stood back to back, Cadence’s shield preventing the both of them from being eviscerated while Chrysalis’ magic beams drove back both doppelgangers.

The real Sombra, meanwhile, had charged forth at the sphere of rainbow light, launching crystals and bolts of dark magic at it, hoping to either disrupt or corrupt the pulsating orb. Unfortunately for him, the sheer amount of Harmony magic saturating the air around the orb kept the Nightmare weakened and unable to aide him, thus returning him to his normal, though still powerful, levels of magic.

Still, he pressed his assault, noticing that his spears and shards of obsidian never actually reached the orb of light, and that, strangely enough, there were feathers all over the place, littering the ground with fractured chunks of obsidian nestled between them.

And then Sombra’s world turned to black fire as every feather around him detonated in a fiery conflagration large enough to completely obliterate much of the surrounding area. As the inferno raged, Twilight gathered the energy flowing through her and her friends, shaping it and channeling it into a spell, allowing it to charge and take form, albeit slowly.

Crow stood under the orb as it pulsed and bulged where Twilight had gathered the majority of its energies, tired but grinning a most wicked smirk. Twilight released the spell, casting a massive beam of rainbow light over the battlefield and smothering the flames and lighting up the night like an artificial sun.

The Nightmare hissed and shrieked in pain as it burned away, its last death rattle echoing in Sombra’s scream of fury and agony. Sombra began burning as well, starting from his feet upwards, his body dissolved into charcoal colored dust that drifted away into the rainbow of friendship.

When the disintegration reached his head, Sombra screamed one last defiant cry and struck out at the one being he could harm with any sort of result: Crow. A single tendril of shadow, weakened and nearly invisible, lashed out from Sombra’s horn and pierced through the rainbow. Crow, visor removed so as to not be blinded by the sight of the rainbow, didn’t notice the shadow until he felt the sudden stab of pain in his chest, followed by a deathly cold chill.

“Hurk!” Crow choked, blood dribbling down his chin once more as he clasped his hand over the wound. The shadowy tentacle jerked upwards and sideways, slashing through the rest of his heard and scoring a line through his lungs and spine. The tentacle had already burst through his back, and with one last twitch of willpower, Crow was thrown backwards into the crystal outcropping he had hidden behind earlier.

And thusly did Sombra die for the second time.

‘I… what happened?’

‘There was that rainbow… and then… pain?’

‘God I’m tired...’

“Crow! Crow answer me!”

‘Is… is that Twilight? Heh… sorry, Majesty, looks like this bird just got his wings clipped...’

“Crow! Please! Wake up!”

“Sir Cameron, we implore you!”

“Sir Crow, please!”

“Twilight, I can’t heal him!”

“What do you mean you can’t heal him!?”

“The… the damage is too much, and it’s full of Dark Magic… I’m sorry, Twilight.”

‘Heh… I guess this is what death is like… it’s getting dark...’

‘Maybe… maybe I’ll see Rachel again...’

‘The moon looks… so pretty… so big… like I could… just touch it...’

Crow’s arm twitched, slowly, shakily rising and touching Luna’s cheek and giving it the barest of strokes as he whispered one final sentence.

“S-so… b-beautiful…”

“Sir Cameron!? Sir Cameron! Cameron! Crow! CROW!”

Of all those that mourned for Crow that night, Luna’s sobs were the loudest.

"Tapping At My Chamber Door–

The funeral of Crow was a somber affair, the local weather team even making sure that it rained during such a sad day.

Crow's coffin stood behind a podium, covered in flowers and topped with a picture of him as he was in life.

All of Crow's flock had gathered for this, each one cawing out a mournful song as they lit the sky in a dazzling display of magic.

Twilight stood, wiping tears from her eyes, and approached the podium. She'd chosen to wear one of Crow's spare cloaks for this, not having any other black clothing.

"I didn't know Crow for very long, and maybe he aggravated me a lot, but in the few months that I've known him, he's managed to save my life and this town so many times..."

"Only This, And Nothing More."

The next few weeks were cleanup and back to back funerals, casting the entirety of Ponyville in dark clouds for an entire month, the only sunny areas being over the farming areas. Queen Twilight had taken to wearing black and crow emblems everywhere, hanging onto Crow's old spare cloak with an almost obsessive desperation to keep at least his memory alive. Crow's visor was sat upon her dresser, right by a picture of him in his normal combat uniform.

Twilight threw herself into cleaning away the rubble of her former castle and into politics, already planning for a move to Canterlot within the next month. Chrysalis had taken the reigns of her newly formed Black Ops division, running manning it with quietly hired agents and hundreds upon hundreds of drones. Luna and Celestia had returned to Canterlot at this time, the elder comforting the younger about the loss of one who had somehow become so close to her heart within the space of a single night.

Cadence left for the Crystal Empire once again, leaving Twilight with a few comforting words and a bit of a lesson:

"Remember, Twilight. Crow was a hero, and if there's one thing that heroes do no matter what, it's turn up at the exact moment that they're needed, even when they've passed on..."

As of Someone Gently Rapping

Semi-Canon Omake:

The Hell Happened To All Those Birds?

一体はこれらすべての鳥に何が起こった？

The day was bright and sunny, not a cloud in the sky. Twilght's Friendship Castle ("Stop calling my castle that dumb name, Crow!") was shining as cheerfully as a gaudy chunk of castle- shaped crystal could look.

Twilight, on the other hand, was remarkably vexed for such a perfect day. The reason?

The hundreds of birds of all ages taking up the massive attic space in her castle known as The Roost. Crow had come up with the name, and had accidentally enforced its appropriateness two days prior.

Again, hundreds of birds. Big ones. Some of them strong enough to carry multiple people at once. While flying.

Twilight thanked Faust that they all took care of their own hunting.

No, her problem was the noise. As one can imagine, hundreds of sentient corvids can create a lot of noise, even if they should happen to be the normal sized ones. Considering that there were birds that stood at a good seven feet tall...

Twilight just thanked the fact that she controlled the sun and was thus unable to be woken before dawn.

And then there was...

Plip

"CROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!"

"Ahhhh shit."

Ah, Distinctly I Remember