After Noon

Canterlot, the capitol of Equestria.

A shinning city embedded on the side of a mountain. The center point of politics, arts, industry, and my new job.

My name is Teddy A. Bear, I’m a pegasus from Las Pegasus.

I haven’t been doing very well. I was searching for a job when I found an ad in the paper. It read, “Personal assistant wanted for Princess Luna, Alicorn of the Night.” From what I heard, Luna was the name Nightmare Moon took when her sister defeated her.

Stories say Celestia stood before Nightmare Moon in the middle of the abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest. She supposedly used a purification beam on her. Interesting story, would almost believe it… if Celestia wasn’t in Las Pegasus playing slots. Don’t believe me? I was right there! Got a few pictures to prove it too.

I could’ve gotten something out of them with Equestria Daily. If they didn’t already have a photo of it.

But I digress. I didn’t have enough for the full ride to Canterlot so I ended up flying the whole way there. I’m a pegasus, remember, I had to rest a couple times but the four day trip wasn’t that bad. I didn’t have anything with me aside from my glasses, torn saddle bags, and the last few bits I had. I was relieved and hungry when I got to Canterlot.

The market was busy. Summer’s end meant harvest season was about to begin. Best and worst time to be in the market. I searched for somewhere to get food. A restaurant’s too expensive, I don’t trust any of those carts, and most of these shopkeepers set the price up too high for one carrot.

“Hey, you!” a stranger called, “Yes you! Over here!” He beckoned me.

I trotted over to see what he wanted.

“I see you’re hungry.”

“Yes.”

“Want some fresh food?”

“Yes…” I knew exactly where this was going.

“I have fresh food for you, if you can pay the price.” He leaned over to his cart of potatoes. Completely raw, “What say you stranger?”

I gave him a dull look, “Raw potatoes? No, why don’t you cook them?”

“I can not cook, sir,” he shouted as though he was insulted, “Unless you wish to cook for me than we have no deal.”

I smirked with a chuckle, “Ok…”

He raised his eyebrow as I looked around.

There were two paper clips on his cart so I took them. The clerk gave me a weird look as I twisted and bent the clips into the shape I needed them in. With interest, he inspected them with confused hums. I grabbed one potato, jammed the clips into it, and rubbed my feathers around it.

The clerk shook his head, “Stranger, This is no place for Magic show.”

A spark set my feathers ablaze, causing the clerk to jump backwards. The shock of spontaneous combustion wore off as he saw me take a deep breath. I motioned for him to step aside. He complied and dove behind a wooden crate.

I blew the flames off my wings and over the potatoes. The fire baked the potatoes in seconds. I was relived that nothing else was caught in it.

The clerk slowly crawled back with an amazed look, “That’s some fancy magic trick you have.”

“Thank you,” I smiled, “Now back to business…”

I looked around to check the market. Every pony was busy doing their own shopping. None noticed the act that just happened and none knew the clerk only had raw potatoes before. The opportunity was perfect.

“WHY YES, I WOULD LIKE A BAKED POTATO,” I shouted, “AND YOU SAY THESE POTATOES WILL NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN?”

The clerk gave a confused look until he immediately noticed the bystanders taking interest.

“Why yes! These potatoes are a once in a life time deal!” He waved over towards the now baked potatoes, “You see, these are no ordinary baked potatoes! These potatoes were cooked using the legendary…”

The clerk glanced over to me, thinking of some story to tell, “The legendary feathers of the blue phoenix!”

Oos and awes echoed from the audience.

“The Blue Phoenix?” I gasped, “None has ever seen such a fabled creature!”

“Aye, and none has ever laid a hoof on one either,” the clerk acted out, “But I was blessed with the chance to hold the blue feathers as they scattered across my crops!”

The audience was now enchanted by the tale. They wanted more. They practically tasted the “legendary” meal that laid in the cart before them.

“Yes! My precious crop of potatoes was set ablaze by the blue feathers!” At this point he displayed more drama than a fashionista, “I believed my crop was to be lost for good but a miracle happened and my crop became the delicacy you see before you!”

The crowd was ready to jump onto the potatoes. Which meant I had to deliver my final line.

“Amazing! How much would I have to pay for this legendary meal?” I dramatized as I hide the price sign that said 4 bits. I jingled a hoof full of ten bits to help him decide.

The clerk grinned, “This fine delicacy is no more than 8 bits!”

Rather generous, isn’t he?

“8 bits? What a deal!” I gave him the bits and took a baked potato, “Thank you and have a good day!”

The clerk grinned madly with bits in his eyes, “You have a good day too, sir!”

I giggled as the clerk was swarmed by customers ready to devour the “once in a life time meal” ponies can be gullible at times.

I bit into the potato, scorching my tongue in the process. It was as delicious as I expected. Defiantly worth the price I paid for it.

With my meal done, I headed up to the castle. I’ll admit, being this close to the guards alone was intimidating. As soon as I approached them they opened their wings with a flash.

“State your business citizen,” the left guard said.

I gave him a piece of paper from my tattered saddle bag. He examined it with a smile.

“Looking to fill THAT position in, eh?” he chuckled, “I’ll inform the front gates, you may pass.”

The guards lowered their wings as the one on the left flew off to the castle. I took note that the path was a steep uphill climb and decided to fly instead. The better choice since it only took a minute or so.

The guards lowered their weapons and opened the gates. I landed at said gates and trotted in. The castle’s insides were elegant. Perhaps a bit too elegant for my taste. I saw several guards wonder around or stand in one place. A few maids dusted the marble pillars. And an elderly unicorn stallion slowly steeped down the stairs. He had a posh look to him. I’d like to call him the butler of the castle… and I’d probably be right…

“STAND ASIDE KIBITZ!” A dark blue alicorn all of a sudden appeared out of nowhere, tackled the butler, and proceeded to make me a permanent floor decoration.

“Princess Luna! Control yourself!” the butler shouted.

The alicorn waved a hoof at him, “tsk, tsk, Tis just a greeting.”

“Your greeting broke several bones,” I wheezed while the alicorn crushed me.

She picked me up with telekinesis, “Apologies, I am merely excited to meet the first pony not to tremble before me.”

I coughed a couple times, “Pleasure’s all mine.”

The butler humphed, “Such a mouth has no place in the palace.”

“KIBITZ!” the alicorn shouted, “You will show respect for the young stallion!”

I glanced over to Kibitz, the butler. He sighed and walked away.

“Such personality would be a relief from the snobbish unicorns,” the alicorn muttered.

“I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re Princess Luna, yes?”

“Indeed I am,” Luna shook my hoof, “Thank you for applying for the job. The interview will be held in the court room after dinner.”

“Which shall be at 6 p.m. sharp in the dinning hall,” Kibitz stated.

Later, in the dinning hall, they served a huge salad decorated with cranberries. It was pretty good.

Kibitz glared at me as I ate my dinner.

“Why must the first pony to apply to be Luna’s assistant eat like her?” he sighed.

I paused and looked at Luna. Nothing strange about it, she was eating it with a fork just like I was. Kibitz and Celestia were using telekinesis. Oh, that might be it.

“Do you have something against pegs?” I asked.

Kibitz nearly spat out his drink, “N- Not at all!”

“Kibitz refers to the ‘improper’ way to eat salad,” Luna grumbled.

“Pft, improper,” I mocked, “Next you’ll tell me you use a fork and knife for your sandwich.”

Celestia and Kibitz averted their eyes. Luna laughed loudly.

“Wait, really?!”

“Indeed!”

Celestia blushed as me and Luna burst into laughter. Then desert came. It was… chocolate cake…

Luna dove right into it. Earning a stern glare from Kibitz.

“Mind your manners Luna,” he shouted, “This is a palace not a tavern!”

Luna waved her hoof at him, “A tavern is much more pleasant than this empty cave.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. It felt like I wandered into a dysfunctional family sitcom! Luna glanced over to me.

“Teddy, you haven’t eaten your cake.”

“I’m allergic to chocolate,” I deadpanned.

The princesses gasped, “How can you go on without the taste of chocolate?”

“I find that staying alive is better than tasting chocolate.”

Luna put a hoof to her chin, “An excellent point.”

A server took the plates away. Kibitz escorted Celestia to her chambers while me and Luna went to the throne room.

The throne room was empty. Moonlight shined through the windows. I felt comfortable and nervous as Luna made her way to sit on the throne. This goes on record as the most intimidating interview ever.

Luna levitated several papers to her. I guess those were parts of my resume. Didn’t think it was that long.

“Teddy A. Bear of Las Pegasus, Equestria,” she read aloud, “First job was food delivery for a dine in theater?”

“Fastest one they ever had too,” I boasted, “Once the food was ready I got it delivered before anyone knew it was there.”

Luna set one paper down, “Experience in Cloud Sculpture?”

“Started as a hobby. Got a few jobs out of it. Didn’t last long.”

Luna set several papers down and levitated a new batch.

“More delivery services, details on your portfolio, and…” her eyes narrowed, “reports of suspected arson…”

“All not true!”

“Hmm…” she set those papers down and got the last paper, “This one interests me the most.”

She smiled slyly and set the paper down.

“I would like a demonstration,” she exclaimed.

“Uh… what?”

“Of pegasus magic,” she smirked, “Your resume shows you have quite the talent for it.”

I pondered what I would do to demonstrate pegasus magic to Luna, “Ok, what did you have in mind?”

“A duel,” she stated as a guard walked in, “Brawn is a new recruit. I wouldn’t want my assistant to be injured on the first night.”

The unicorn laughed, “You ready small fry?”

I nodded.

Luna sat on her throne, “Begin!”

The guard charged at me as if he planned on impaling me with his horn. I flew off the ground. He grumbled something about pegasi being cowards. I noticed his horn started glowing and decided it was best to keep moving.

Arcane bolts blasted the ceiling as I dodged them. I made way for the window. Brawn blasted me out of it.

The air was cold and humid. I landed on a nearby cloud and took it back to the castle. Brawn didn’t even have time to turn away from the window when I slammed the cloud into the room.

“Using cloud cover to hide from a fight,” Brawn growled, “Of course you’d do that.”

“You sound a bit racist,” I stated with a tap on his shoulder, “Did the pegasus guards act like jerks to you?”

“Not at all,” he swung around in confusion, “I just find pegasi think of the environment more than the actual fight.”

I tapped on his shoulder again, “When you’re up in the clouds all day, you tend to look at things from multiple angles.”

Brawn blasted through the fog in a vain attempt to blast me. Little did I know the arcane bolts were clearing the fog. Brawn spotted me in seconds.

“Got you!” he charged his horn.

I stood in front of the open window. I flared my wings up and collected some air. His charge was almost done, I had to hurry. I settled for what I had and pushed all the air towards him.

Ice began to form as Brawn was picked up by the air. He slowly froze after firing his spell. Thankful that he missed. I didn’t want to be pushed out the window again. The ice encased Brawn in the shape of a pillar. I landed softly on the frozen floor. Slipping and falling on my face.

“Ha! I still win,” Brawn gloated.

I looked up and saw rocks falling around me. I was too tired to fly and the ice prevented me from moving. I ended up being trapped in a stone prison. The duel ended in a tie.

Luna applaud the performance, “Bravo, you both did excellent.”

She melted the ice away from Brawn and moved the rocks off of me.

“So what do you think of pegasus magic?” I asked her.

“Pegasus magic, pft,” Brawn chuckled, “It’s silly to think of but from what you displayed, I have high hope of running into a pegasus mage.” He paused for a thought, “I mean another pegasus mage.”

“I’m not a mage,” I stated.

He gave a confused look.

“Titles are only given when they’re earned, Brawn,” Luna explained.

He nodded an walked back to the barracks.

“He has a lot to learn,” Luna smiled, “As do you.”

“So you didn’t enjoy the show?”

“Oh I did, you did an excellent job taking advantage of your surroundings… until the last part.”

“Thanks,” I bowed, “This mean I get the job?”

“Yes, you shall start tomorrow after noon,” Luna began walking to her room before remembering something, “Ah, yes, you need to see your room. Follow me.”

Luna and Celestia had rooms for their assistants directly across from their own rooms. The doors were matched as well as night and day. Celestia’s door was Golden orange/yellow. Luna’s door was royal purple. Kibitz door was deep maroon. Then there was my door…

“Dull grey…”

“Yes, I would’ve preferred anything else but we had limited choice in wood.”

“What kind of wood is golden or purple?”

“Celestia had yew, I chose willow.”

“Ten bits says Kibitz has mahogany.”

“Said ten bits also state yours is ash.”

I couldn’t help but feel a hint of irony with my door choice.

“Well, good night Princess,” I said with a yawn.

“Good night,” Luna nodded as she returned to her room.

Currently my room was barren. Like hotel room barren. There was a television, couch, basic furniture. But the vast majority of the space was empty. I emptied my saddle bags and threw them into the waste basket. I had about 40 bits left. The rest of what was in my bags was a book on pegasus magic, a sketch book with pencils, and a cleaning cloth for my glasses.

I took a tour of my new home. The bathroom was shinny porcelain white. Who ever does the cleaning know what they’re doing. The shower curtain hung with sapphire encrusted rings. Couldn’t do much in here at the moment. I’ll have to get a tooth brush soon.

Next was the bedroom. Like the living room, it also had a television. Only the bedroom had an average sized bed in the center. The bedroom held a balcony. I opened the glass door and took a step outside. The moon illuminated the side of the castle nicely. I was able to see enough to know that I had plenty of room to fly around. The balcony would also make a nice back door, something only pegsai could say… and alicorns too…

Looking at the lock, I remembered that I would need a key to keep my room safe. I returned to the bedroom and closed the glass balcony door. Locking it and closing the curtain. I searched around the coffee table next to the bed. An old rusty key with a tag tied to it was in a drool. The tag had ‘balcony’ written on it. Chunk of metal looked like it could snap off inside the lock! Looks like new locks are going to be needed.

That thought reminded me of the door I used to get in. It had stayed open through the entire time I wandered around. Going back to the living room I found Kibitz sitting on the couch, sipping tea. Next to him was a stack of papers, and a tea set.

Kibitz noticed me and motioned to take a seat. I complied.

“Mister Bear,” Kibitz started, “I do hope you will behave accordingly for this job of yours.”

“Yes,” I said dryly.

“I should hope so,” he levitated a sheet, “You’ll have quite the responsibility. We currently hold nearly 179 dark artifacts.” Kibitz took a sip of tea and looked at me, “Already tested, documented, and stored before your arrival.”

“So what? I just have to hold onto these papers?”

“Not quite,” he showed me the paper he had, “Part of your job is to document all dark artifacts and ensure they remain in the dark artifact vault.”

I took the sheet and studied it. The paper stated;

Princess Luna of the night has full reign over any and all dark magic. Due to dark magic consisting of many illegal and unethical spells (including but not limited to; mental disfigurement, probability manipulation, and death) A vast majority of dark magic products may be kept within storage until destroyed, altered, disenchanted, or deemed suitable for pony kind. Princess Luna may ask for aid upon any given time for acquisition of containment of any dark magic products. If aid is given the pony who acts as Princess Luna’s aid will be held responsible for documented details of all dark magic products. Should any of the recorded items be missing or used without permission, the aid will receive punishment for the lost of the dark magic product. If any light magic products have an effect on any dark magic products than both princesses will be held responsible for the affected products.

“You are to aid Luna in this task. Those dark artifacts are a danger to many.”

I looked up to him, “So light artifacts are your department?”

He nodded, “Our jobs are similar however, mine is more attuned for peace while yours is doomed to be spent around monsters.”

“Good thing I’ll be near an all powerful alicorn,” I chuckled.

Kibitz humphed and headed for the door, “Oh and your key is on the bottom of that stack. Be sure to read it all.”

As soon as the door closed I locked it. I was not going to read an entire stack of papers at this time. I’ll get to it eventually. For now, it’s bed time and I’m exhausted.