Paul Bass: Loser Extraordinaire

Hello there my name is Filth-Under-Your-Boot Guy and I am here to teach you how to have friends. Don't be me!

My real name is Paul Bass and I am getting beaten up for a change. Usually they just throw insults and paper balls at me but today to shake it up a bit they are throwing punches.

"Dude leave me alo-OOF!" I manage to get out before a final kick to the stomach shuts me up and he starts to walk away. Most people would get help off passer-bys but not I because I live in a small town in the middle of no-where and here there isn't enough people in this stupid town to notice when someone needs help. It doesn't help that I am in a dark alleyway between two run down places so it doesn't take long before I let the cold concrete take me away from consciousness and into the cold dark depths of my sleep.

"Dear Celestia! somepony call a doctor!"

That's new who says dear Celestia? let alone somePONY? I think to myself before opening my eyes and being greeted by a sight I never thought I would see quite simply because it is impossible. A unicorn. A purple one at that looking at me with a form of sadness

"You're going to be okay." she began before I let out a scream. Not a manly GAAAH more of a ten-year old girl running from daddy in a scary clown mask scream, causing it to recoil in pain with it's ears pinned back like a cat. Then I did the only logical thing, run, run like the wind but in my rush to get up I forgot why I was lying down in the first place so a small bit of pain made itself known in my lungs reminds me.

"Oh I see you are in pain. Don't worry! I'll teleport us to a hospital."

Teleport? Does this unicorn mean.. Was all I could think before a sensation similar to getting pins and needles filled my nervous system before I heard a loud POP and I was in a white room with more Unicorns, Pegasi and what seem to be normal [to an extent] ponies, all of whom were very vibrant colours, who carried on their merry ways until a cyan pagasus with a very LGBT mane and tail flew right into my face, please note I mean flew LITERALLY not figuratively because it has wings, causing me to not scream this time [thankfully] but instead stick to my gender and go GAH! Hearing me do this the purple unicorn turns to the pegasus and says,

"Rainbow Dash! Get out of it's face!" But because I have my luck, every other pony[?] in the room noticed me at the manly 'gah' I let out just and started to edge away from me, I then notice tattoos on all their assess, different ones at that. Because my brain had had enough it decided for me that it ought to go to sleep with my mouth doing a very slurred and awkward

"Pretty pegasus pony."