Spikes Predicament
Spike was in his bed, all nice and toasty under his comfy covers. His body was ready to take his usual 14 hour long nap but his mind would not allow it... His top wish in life had come true, his big dream, ultimate fantasy had become reality unexpectedly... Was wonderful but at the time there was an empty feeling with it and something else as well... Something... Dark, sinister... He knew somehow something unpleasant was going to happen. He did not know why he was having these thoughts, but he could not help it...
For a LONG time he had been sucking up to Rarity every chance he got practically worshiping her and being her slave when he wasn't to busy being Twilight's slave. After he had taken out her garbage, did her grocery shopping and a dozen other chores she had asked him to come up to her room and she said to him "You have been so good to me for so long... With you around I feel like a princess... Well I already am one but you make me feel like one more than usual. For that I am going to treat you this one time Spikey Wikey! I do represent the element of Generosity after all!"
He then proceeded to bang Rarity's brains out. Ravaging her worse than the Germanic Tribes had ravaged Rome. Every frustration he had being a serf dragon having no place in dragon society or Pony was released and for 15 minutes Rarity was the slave for a change, was taken back by his animalistic side unleashed. The kinky fun ended when Spike got an unexpected letter from Celestia and he belched fire slightly burning Rarity's behind causing her to let out a loud shriek and her younger sister SweetieBelle to come up from downstairs to start knocking and asking what was happening in her high squeaking voice.
With the moment of glory ending sharply, Spike left Rarity's house through the window, and walked back to Twilight's library with mixed emotions, his pride felt bloated but also... There was that strange negativity brewing....
Once the young dragon did manage to fall asleep he awoke feeling worse, was tired, had little energy, something was off.... Then when he went to take a leak his eyes bulged out of his head when he saw he was pissing red and his dragon genitals were now rainbow coloured and covered in dark red spots. He felt scared, as well as embarrassed, he was already the pun of many jokes and treated as a weird mix between a pet and a slave. Yet he knew he had to find out what was going on, but who could he trust with this problem? Not Twilight.... Not Rainbow Dash.... Not Fluttershy.... Hmmm, who could he possibly trust?
Leaving the library after contemplating the situation for awhile he walked over to Sweet Apple Acres to see his friend Applejack, a pony that once saved his life and who he felt was an upstanding citizen of Ponyville. If he couldn't trust Applejack there would be nobody to help him in his dire time of need.
Once he arrived at the orchard he quickly spotted AJ bucking trees, harvesting apples of all kinds. She spotted him before he said anything and stopped what she was doing to greet him.
"Howdy Spike! What brings you over here all by yourself this time of day?"
Spike was terrified, and he shook while he replied "Well Applejack its just... I have a problem and I feel I have nobody I can talk to about it with..."
Immediately showing care and sympathy, she read his body language and could tell he was hurting. "I'm sure its not that big sugarcube, you can tell me anything and Ill help the best I can! So whats going on?"
"You see.... I was over at Rarity's the other day...."
"Something to do with Rarity eh?.... Oh boy....." AJ said while grabbing an apple to eat, also throwing Spike one to munch on.
"and you see me and her well...."
"Yeeeeesssss?" Applejack said, her thoughts racing through possibilities.
"We.... We.... Well...."
"YES???"
"We did things...."
AJ immediately began choking on her Apple and spent a good 10 seconds or so trying to unclog it from her throat. Once she spat it out she yelled "What in the hay sugarcube!? I was not expecting this... Please oh PLEASE tell me you wore protection!"
"Protection?..."
"You know! A condom. Did you?...."
"Whats a condom?...."
"Ohhh Gee.... In the name of Celestia what were you thinking youngin! Haven't you heard all the rumours about Rarity? I'm her close friend so I can assure you they are ALL true!"
"So whats a condom?...."
"Well, now that I know what the predicament involves... I can take a guess what the problem is..."
"I have a little something... Down there..... Male dragon issues...."
"If it makes you feel any better I don't see anything and you are standing naked before me now."
"That's because my junk goes inside me each time I stand up. It only comes out when I am in certain positions or need to use it. This is what it looks like."
Before Applejack could say anything Spike sat down and his stuff sprang out.
"HOLY YOUNGIN! This all happened just over night.... I am no expert on these things, have never seen or heard of anything like it... You got it bad though, an STD Ponies like Twilight write up on for the history books!”
"So what do you suggest I do?" The small dragon was frowning and felt more depressed then he ever had been for as long as he could remember.
Applejack put a comforting leg around him and said in a soothing voice "Just relax, there's more ponies that will take this seriously and that you can trust out there than you think. However I am not very knowledgeable on these kinds of problems, so I say keep looking for ponies who might be. If you end up not finding any come back to me and Ill start asking around. I wish you the best dear!"
Saying thanks and bye for now Spike walked away from the orchard frowning with strong feelings of despair. Who could help him now? Once when Twilight brought him to the town doctor the Stallion told them that he knew nothing about dragons... Plus to book a doctors appointment he would need Twilight's help and he was not ready to ask her for assistance in this quite yet... Perhaps the next pony or ponies he could ask should be at least of the same gender as him. While thinking as he strolled through out the countryside he decided to go see two Colts that were kind of his friends. So he headed over the school house to meet up with Snips and Snails.
When he arrived at the school building class for the day had just ended and the little ponies were heading out for home. He spotted Snips and Snails right away, standing out with their unusual appearances.
"Hey, you two have a moment? I have a problem and I feel I can trust both of you."
The short fat one Snips replied "You can trust me Spike, Snails on the other hand you can't trust worth shit!"
The tall lanky one named Snails that resembled a mentally handicapped Giraffe in response said "Hahaha, I told the class Snips found a bag of condoms and he stuck one over his entire head and couldn't get it off. Since hes naturally blue I couldn't tell he wasn't able to breath."
"Yeah.... Thanks for that Snails... Anyways... What did you want to talk to us about?"
"What's a condom? Err... Nevermind! Will ask that later! You see my issue is kind of embarrassing... But still very serious and I'm afraid... Have not been this scared in a long time...."
"You can open up to me about embarrassing things Spike, I hang out with Snails everyday so my life is a permanent state of embarrassment. Can't be that bad."
"Yeah you can tell us Spike! Can't be worse than the time Snips crapped himself in front of the entire class hahaha!."
"You crapped yourself in front of the whole class?.... " Replied Spike who began to feel a bit better about himself.
"Maybe..... Now, whats going on?"
"You see.... Uhm, could we go somewhere more private to talk about this? I'm sure no one is listening in on us but still...."
The unusual trio then walked over to a quiet area surrounded by trees and bushes. The dragon child then took in a deep breath and said "You could say I got lucky yesterday, my wish came true."
"One of my top wishes came true as well! My father let me eat a bucket of pudding for breakfast!" Proclaimed Snails in a proud voice.
"This was a different kind of wish altogether Snails.. You know the unicorn named Rarity? SweetieBelles older sister, she owns a shop in the centre of town selling dresses."
"Rarity!? That's the unicorn Snips claims he sleeps with every night!"
"What really?" Said Spike all surprised.
"Yeah, he tells me that's why hes tired when he arrives at school in the morning. I know your problem, hahaha! You got Snips sloppy seconds!"
"Snails shut it! Yes we know who Rarity is... Just say the issue." Said the frowning young and fat Colt.
"I got lucky with her yesterday... At first it was great despite her throwing me out the window when her sister knocked on her door. However the fun came with something extra... Something like this...."
Spike then got into the right position and his junk popped out revealing the problem.
Snips reacted right away by vomiting his lunch up into a nearby bush.
Snails replied "She painted your lower horn? I would be mad too! Nopony can do as good of a job as me with that kind of art!"
A renewed sense of hopelessness penetrated Spikes mind, he looked at the slightly more bright colt and waited for him to stop puking his guts out. He assumed that because he was so disgusted he probably knew what he indeed just saw.
"PUT IT AWAY! PLEASE!” Yelled poor disgusted Snips.
Spike cooperated and stood back up to make his rainbow junk disappear which fascinated Snails who was envious of such a talent. The dragon then said "Snips do you know what that was what you just saw?"
The pig like pony calmed down and replied "Not exactly... But yeah, you got a hell of an STD buddy.... STD doesn't even do it justice, its more an STI! A Sexually Transmitted Invasion!"
Sighing, Spike replies "Um... I have that part figured out... So you have no clue what kind it is and what I can do for it?"
"Hmmm, our teacher Mrs Cheerilee once covered Sex Ed and told us a bit about consequences like this... If I recall right... She said something about a real rare kind of STD that ponies like Star Swirl the Bearded and Celestia wrote about and when they did mention it in writings they couldn't even write it with proper hoof writing because they were trembling to much in fear. Was called... The Blue Waffle..."
"I once ate a green waffle!" Said Snails.
"A blue waffle? But mine is rainbow coloured and has red spots... Why is that?"
"I don't know, why would I know? You know what kind of ponies I have for friends!"
"Wait Snips.... If you sleep with Rarity every single night... And Spike got your sloppy seconds.... You have a blue waffle too! Hahaha!"
"Snails please now is not the time...."
"Haha, and cause you are already blue its a blue blue waffle hahahah!"
"Snails shut up you know that's not true!"
"Of course its true! You told me! So it has to be true! There is no other explanation!"
"..........." Snips was lost for words....
Spike saw this as a sign that this was futile and that it was his que to leave. So he waved goodbye to the misfit colts and walked away back to his home ready to start sobbing. He had no choice, he had to tell Twilight, she knew everything about anything. His pride had been stomped on many times before, so one more time should not make a difference.
When he arrived at the house he saw Twilight at her desk with her nose buried in a large book, she did not even notice he came in, probably had not noticed he had been gone a good chunk of the day.
"Twilight?"
"Hmmmm?"
"I have to talk to you about something...."
"Just a second Spike, I'm reading about the writing techniques of Unicorns five hundred years ago."
"Its real important.... It involves me and Rarity...."
"Oh Spike, I know you have a crush on her and everything but nothing is ever going to happen between you two."
"That is the thing... Something DID happen...."
Turning right around fast with a surprised expression on her face, she replied "Spike.... You mean to tell me you and my friend Rarity..."
"Got it on yes. Now I have a serious issue cause of it..."
"Please tell me you wore a condom!"
"I have no idea what that is."
"Oh Spike.... Haven't you heard the rumors about Rarity? They are all true, every last single one of them! I can guess what the problem is already."
"Oh yeah? Were you going to guess it was this bad?"
Spike then got into the position required for his junk to come out, Twilight let out an ear piercing shriek which startled Owlicious and when his eyes spotted the dragons rainbow genitalia he flew as far away from the tree library as he could.
"Spike.... This... This is serious! I think I have an idea of what it is but not quite..."
"You read a book on STD's before?"
"Several, but this particular one I learned about while studying up on ancient Unicorn legends... Star Swirl the Bearded and Celestia herself wrote about this. They wrote about a legendary STD that was originally created to take down the likes of even creatures such as Discord! However the virus could not be contained, and the infamous Blue Waffle ran rampant before mighty Allicorn Magic could get it under control. What you have seems to be related to it, but is a new mutation of the virus... Could possibly be even worse! Who knows!"
"That's just great.... So am I just plain screwed or do you know a way to help me?"
"To be honest most likely you are screwed.... However, you are a dragon, and not a pony so there might be hope.... There is one pony that may help us.... If she can't I really don't know Spike.... Am afraid for you."
The two of them then headed over to Zecoras house in the Everfree Forest, she was little Spikes only hope. She had a potion for almost everything, hopefully she knew what to do about this virus of legends.
Knocking on Zecoras door, she answered saying "Come in troubled friends of mine, tell me your current woe, that little dragon seems to be feeling quite low!"
"Thank you for allowing us in Zecora despite it getting late, Spike here has a problem very few ever deal with, however the virus now might be making a comeback because of my friend Rarity.... They... Did THINGS and because of that he has an STD of epic proportions." Said Twilight Sparkle uncomfortably.
"Do not be afraid, show me the problem and I will find a solution! My expertise can handle any vaginas pollution!"
Spike then revealed his colourful genitals and Zecora dropped a glass that she had been holding because of sheer shock.
"Oh my oh my..... I know what this is, you are lucky that it pops out only when you sit.. Just let me fetch some ingredients from my medical kit."
Spikes spirit soared, there was hope after all! He was smiling as much right now as he did when Rarity showed him her true generosity yesterday.
"Only a select few can treat this waffle, such as the Goddess of the sun! Be thankful you are not a pony, but a dragon young one! Also you are male, so your waffle is different, rainbow coloured and with spots. Whenever you stick it in without a condom its a gamble, like playing a game of slots. Apply this cream each day for the next week, and soon the nasty colours will disappear, and no more will red appear when you take a leak."
Handing him the rare healing cream, Spike kissed her hooves repeatedly and vowed to pay her back somehow in life. Zecora chuckled and told him "It is okay, healing is what I do! However follow strongly the advice I am about to give you. Next time you get dirty with a Filly, be sure to wrap your Willy!"
"What does that mean exactly?...."
"Errr... Ill explain that part to him, thank you very much Zecora, take care and we will talk to you soon!" Said a thankful purple unicorn.
Zecora's words held true, indeed within two weeks Spikes Rainbow waffle was gone. He had learned his lesson, and with Twilight's informative lecture to him about condoms and how to use them while using her horn as a demonstration example he was a maturing proud dragon. He was so touched by the lesson he had learned he insisted on writing a letter to Princess Celestia about it. It was short and to the point.
"Dear Princess Celestia.... I recently learned something valuable. No longer when I fool around with a mare will I be unprotected, shall be wrapped in a protective anti waffle suit. Sure it decreases the pleasure, is an overall pain and can sometimes make your wang shrink, it is all worth it in the end!"
The Princess was touched by the letter to say the least...
THE END! For now....
