[Pinkie Pie ambled through the candy forest, her eyes glowing with wonder.]
In this world, everything was edible. The path Pinkie walked on was not dirt, but fudge, sprinkled with nuts and lined with lollipop "flowers". The trees were towering candycanes, draped with cotton candy “moss”. Peppermint “fruits” dangled from their branches, swaying softly in a sugar-scented breeze.
“It’s so...beautiful.” The pink pony pranced over to the nearest cane-tree and gnawed on it like a hyperactive beaver. She swallowed a mouthful of crunchy peppermint “bark”. “And so...delicious.”
Luna removed her horn from the glassy dreamfruit. She smiled; watching Ms. Pinkamena Pie’s dreams was like picking a random book off a bookshelf. Sometimes the Element bearer’s dreams were lighthearted and whimsical. Other times they were utterly incomprehensible.
In a way, they were much like the pink mare herself.
Luna dematerialized the crystallized dreamstuff platform she stood on and spread her wings, filling them with the sparkling gold “fluid” that filled the Dreamworld. The alicorn pumped her wings and, with a graceful leap, took to the air.
Beautiful, absolutely beautiful.
The Dreamworld was a realm as abstract and unexplainable as the dreams it created: an impossibly large, impossibly long vine made of stained glass, floating in an endless expanse of glittering gold fluid. Covering this vine were branches like long, leafless tentacles, each tipped with a glassy sphere like a ripening fruit.
To an ordinary pony, it would be a psychedelic nightmare. To a trained dreamwalker like Luna, it was practically a second office.
An aetheric breeze wafted across Luna’s face. Senses trained by centuries of experience detected the soothing lemon/lilac scent of pleasant dreams, the spearmint/marmalade smell of bizarre dreams, the faint ozone/sweat smell of defused nightmares, and the heady, musky scent of… sensual dreams.
Once, she’d asked her mentor, Starswirl the Bearded, why dreams had these scents to begin with. The wise eccentric had warned her not to ask such questions about the Dreamworld. When she’d asked why, he’d simply said, “Your brain will melt”, as if she’d just asked him for the time. Being rather fond of her brain, Luna had decided to take his advice.
One might say that, in this realm, ignorance really was bliss.
Something triggered tugged on Luna’s ear. One of the warding spells had been triggered. Something was emerging from the expanse. Something fast.
Luna scoured the hazy emptiness with her eyes. Something like a fork made of tinted glass emerged from the hazy depths, speeding towards the nearest dreamfruit. Oily droplets of hunger and anticipation dripped from its quivering prongs.
The alicorn rolled her eyes and charged her horn. A few thoughts focused the raw magic, then released it as a pencil-thin beam of electric-blue energy, neatly impaling the creature. The fork let out a discordant squeal, then popped into feathery shards of dreamstuff.
“Another Dreamsucker?” Luna brushed feathery scraps of the creature off of her coat. She knew that the psychic parasites were stupid, but after slaying hundreds of them every month, one would think they would eventually--what was the phrase?--“get the hint”.
With that, Luna perched on a dreamstuff branch, the stained glass “bark” as hard as ice and as soft as featherdown. She clasped her forehooves together. With a thought, she spread her consciousness like a blanket across the Dreamworld, scanning for any disturbances.
So far, all seemed calm; aside from the traces of a few minor nightmares and that pesky Dreamsucker, there was nothing that required her immediate attention. And from what her limited prescience could tell her, it should stay that way for the extent of her session.
Luna breathed a sigh of relief. At last, some peace. The past few months had been taxing, to say the least. Being cleansed by the Elements, re-establishing the Night Court with her sister, and keeping that idiot nephew of hers out of trouble had really taken their toll.
She was a millennium overdue for a break.
Luna yawned, stretching her body like an over-sized cat. This was exactly what she needed. No petitioners requesting her help. No idiots to keep in check. Just peace and quiet.
Peace…and quiet.
Peace...and…quiet...
Luna lay down on the impossible branch and closed her eyes, basking in the sourceless light of the Expanse like a lizard on a rock. She'd missed this place during her exile. Oh how she'd missed it. She'd missed the joy of peering into dreams, missed the electric rush that came with slaying dream-predators. But most of all, she'd missed the maternal warmth that came with seeing a little colt or filly face their fears.
As her thoughts wandered, something occurred to Luna: she kind of liked being busy. Sure, it could be exhausting at times—ironic, being exhausted while in a sleep-like trance—but it also gave her a sense of purpose. One that had been painfully lacking during her time on the moon.
Luna picked herself up and snorted. Peace and quiet had worn out their welcome. She needed something to do. Now.
How much longer must I stay? Luna cast a quick time-keeping spell. Horseapples. It was only half past one back in the waking world. She still had two more hours before the dreamwalking spell wore off. And in this realm, that could feel like an eternity.
Luna thought for a second.This was a realm of pure thought; there had to be something here that would hold her interest.
Well, perhaps I could observe a dream.
Luna fluttered over to a cluster of dreamfruits and materialized a platform. She picked out a random dreamfruit and pressed her horn against it. Inside, she saw a walleyed pegasus fight tooth and hoof against an army of rabid muffins. Once the dream had played itself on, she chose another. In this one, a green unicorn played a massive harp with house-sized hooves. In yet another fruit, a gray earth pony played a cello to an audience whilst wearing socks.
While they were interesting at first, the dreams soon grew dull. No matter how bizarre they might seem, they just felt like repetitions of a few tired old themes. Nothing truly original. It was like reading twenty books and finding that they each had the same plot.
With a sigh, Luna released the branch. For a while, the disinterested diarch just sat there, staring at the foaming chaos of the expanse. As her boredom grew, she found herself wishing for something to attack her. A swarm of Dreamsuckers, a Fear-Leach, a Somno-Tick. By the Queen, even a DreamEater would have been welcome, so long as it gave her something to do!
As always, the expanse refused to cooperate.
As she stewed in her boredom, something like a transparent bag caught on Luna’s horn. What is this? She plucked the bag off of her horn. It was just some litter. The rind of an old dream, as dull and mundane as an old apple core.
Still, it was a potential weapon in her fight against boredom. Luna picked up the bit of psychic garbage and began playing cat's-cradle with it. Nostalgia bled from her like a cloud of polished mahogany beads. Back when she was learning the basics of dreamwalking, she’d loved playing with these dreamrinds. When Starswirl was trying to lecture her on the properties of dreamstuff, she’d absentmindedly toy with these rinds, twisting them, twirling them, weaving them, and braiding them like a cat with a string.
Blue globules of depression joined the nostalgia-cloud. She missed those days. She missed them so much.
Something twitched within the rind. Luna felt a strange tugging sensation inside her, as if something was being pulled out of her body.
The sensation left as quickly as it came. The rind became thick and leathery. Its transparent center became cloudy, then completely opaque, as if it were slowly filling with milk. Luna felt it push against her hooves, its wrinkled form slowly smoothing.
Luna gasped. Shock sprayed from her mouth like shards of rainbow-colored glass.
It’s...how…?
Luna gently picked up the rind. By now, its transformation was complete. Instead of a shapeless sack, it was a firm, cloudy sphere--a fully ripened dreamfruit.
How can this be? Even by the vague laws of the Dreamworld this was insane. It was the equivalent of an orange peel slowly turning back into an orange! Even Starswirl couldn’t do something—
Luna stopped herself. Ignorance is your friend. Ignorance is your friend...
Luna touched her horn to the fruit. Unlike an ordinary dreamfruit the sphere remained opaque, as if it wanted to keep its contents a secret. She gave it a good sniff. Nothing. It was like trying to smell glass. There was no telling what kind of dream this was.
If she wanted to learn more, she’d have to go inside.
Luna grinned. Yes, why not? It'd be completely safe. The dream could be a nightmarish trip into the core of a sun while being dissolved in acid, and she'd still emerge unscathed. A little rattled, maybe, but still unscathed.
Besides, 'twas not as if she had anything better to do.
But first, somepony needed to keep an eye on the Dreamworld for her. Luna closed her eyes and materialized a horde of dreamstuff copies, like statues made from soap film. If something required her immediate attention, they would would promptly summon her.
Once everything was in order, Luna took a deep breath and touched her horn to the dreamfruit. With a grace earned by centuries of experience, she carefully poked a hole in the fruit’s thick, rubbery skin. She leaked a little magic into the hole, and it expanded, revealing a sunlit meadow under a pale blue sky.
Well...in I go!
With that, Luna charged into the fruit…and into empty air.
-
Expect everything and nothing.
That was the first rule of dreamwalking. What seemed rock-solid one moment could become quicksand the other. That which seemed perfectly mundane one moment could twist into something horrifying the next. Therefore, one should prepare for anything when entering a dream.
As Luna tumbled through the dreamscape, she dearly wished she had remembered that.
The alicorn tumbled head over tail like a ragdoll dropped off a balcony. The sky alternated between sapphire blue and turquoise green.
You need to stay calm, Luna. You need to stay calm. That was the first thing Starswirl had taught her about dreamwalking; when one first enters a dream, it is very easy to panic, especially if the dream is unfamiliar. Should this happen, the dreamwalker should stay calm, gather their wits, and try to get a grasp of their surroundings.
The alicorn took slow, deep breaths, just like her mentor had taught her. The fear inside her slowly retreated. Remember, this is only a dream. You can leave at any time.
Luna's breathing slowed. Her heartbeat returned to something like normal.
Alright. Now to take stock of our surroundings.
Luna swung her legs around until she finally stabilized her fall. So far, the dreamscape was rather bare. All she could see was an empty cobalt-blue sky above a seemingly endless ocean. An ocean that was growing larger by the second.
Luna's confidence levels dropped dramatically. Her heart beat as if it were trying to force itself out of her chest. Her stomach contracted into a ball of sour ice.
“It’s just a dream, Luna. It’s just a dream...” She wielded the mantra like a lion tamer would a whip. There was nothing to be afraid of. She'd seen this scenario a hundred times before. Sometimes it was falling off a cliff. Sometimes it was tumbling into an endless abyss. Once, it had been a plunge into an endless tunnel made of typewriters and chewing gum. Regardless, it always ended the same way; the dreamer would always wake up seconds before impact, leaving them with nothing more than a vague nightmare and maybe some soiled bedsheets.
Her rational mind acknowledged this. Unfortunately, the rest of her mind was too busy screaming HOLY HORSEAPPLES I’M GOING TO DIE! to notice.
The ocean grew closer and closer. Thanks to the flexibility of dreamworld physics, Luna was able to see every fleck of foam, every wavelet as if she was standing right next to it.
The last vestiges of Luna's self-control dissolved, leaving nothing but blind, irrational panic. Frantic, she pumped her angelic wings, trying to halt, or at least slow, her descent, only for the air to slip through her wings like water through a sieve. In desperation, she tried to cast an emergency transport spell and return to the Dreamworld, but the magic refused to leave her horn. It seemed that this dream was going to come to a very abrupt—and wet—end
Well, it was sort of fun while it lasted.
Something caught Luna’s eye. There, on the sea below her, was a foaming, bubbling circle, like the top of a pot about to boil over. Before she could so much as blink, something like a metallic honeycomb shot up from the sea to meet her.
What is...
Before Luna could finish her thought, she slammed into the honeycomb with a hollow, ringing sound, as if she'd rapped a hoof against the side of a long metal pipe. She rolled over, rubbing her bruised flank and belly. Being a dream, the fall hadn’t caused any actual damage, but it still hurt like the dickens.
The alicorn slowly picked herself. What is this? The ground she stood on, if one could call it that, was made up of dozens of brass and chrome tubes, bunched together like bundles of metal reeds. She craned her neck over the side: the tubes, whatever they were, extended all the way down to the ocean, like a mountain rising from the sea.
Alright. Luna gave her flank a final rub. Second order of business; what are the laws of this world? Every dream had them-a set of restrictions woven into the fabric of the dream itself. Depending on the laws, one might be a virtual god in one dream and completely helpless in another.
Luna spread her awareness across the rogue dreamscape. She raised an eyebrow. Normally, when she scanned a dream, she was able to learn its Laws as easily as reading a book. Not this dream, though. Its laws were hidden from her. It was like trying to read a book in a dimly lit room. They were there alright, but she had a vague idea of what she could and couldn't do.
Most ponies would have been frightened by this. Not Luna. If anything, she found it fascinating! It was a bold trek into unknown territory, with no idea what to expect--just like those Daring Do books she’d become so fond of.
As she pondered, Luna unconsciously took a step forwards. The tube beneath her hoof belched a loud F note, sending a spike of adrenalin through her body. Instinct took over and she reared back on her hind legs, setting off several more tubes.
Luna calmed herself down. Those sounds. She recognized them. She smiled; she'd recognize them anywhere. They’re organ pipes!
Memories bubbled up from Luna’s subconscious. Pipe organs had been one of her favorite instruments back at the old castle. Whenever the pressures of ruling Equestria weighed her down, she'd retreat to her secret chamber and play on her pipe organ. Every time she’d pressed a key, it felt like she was talking in the voice of an ancient god.
It had also been useful for scaring certain obnoxious nobles during the night.
I wonder... Luna stomped her hoof twice. Two F notes sounded off accordingly. She jumped, and all of the pipes sounded off at once. As she landed, her hoof caught on the rim of one of the pipes, pitching her towards the water, only for another platform to break her fall, followed by a chorus of F notes.
Odd. Carefully, Luna craned her swan-like neck over the edge of the platform. Gingerly, ever so gingerly, she poked a forehoof over the edge. Before it could pass below the level of the pipes, another one of the metallic shafts flashed out of the sea below and stopped her hoof in its tracks. Smaller, straw-sized tubes radiated out from it like ripples.
The alicorn took a few tentative steps out beyond her island. Sure enough, more tubes shot up from the ocean to support her, faithfully blasting out F notes. She then started at a slow trot, forming a honeycombed trail behind behind her. Feeling a little more confident, Luna broke into a low canter. All along, the metal honeycombs dutifully rose from the sea to support her, blasting out F notes with every hoofstep.
Let us—what is the expression?—kick this up a notch.
Luna reared on her hind legs and broke into a full gallop. A solid path of metal tubes sprang up beneath her, each one sounding off its own F note. Overlapping rings of smaller pipes spread throughout the dreamscape.
For a second, Luna felt a pang of pity for whoever was playing this impossible organ. Their hooves must be so very sore by now.
As Luna galloped, the Laws of the dream began to reveal themselves. While much of them were still obscured, she could feel a sort of “stretchiness” in the pipes, as if they were not bound to a single size.
Luna sent a thought into the dreamscape. At her unspoken command, the metal tubes stretched like wet clay until they were the size of barrels. At a single hoofstep, the F notes became cannon-like blasts, nearly launching the alicorn skyward.
Luna held onto the edge of a pipe for dear life. Revert to normal! Revert to normal! At her command, the pipes shrank back to their normal size. Luna then picked herself up, waiting for the ringing in her ears to go away.
Well, she could certainly make them larger, but what about smaller? The instant the thought left her mind, the pipes narrowed themselves into metal straws. Her next step set up an ear piercing shriek, like a hoof scratching a million-mile-long chalkboard.
“GAH!” Luna pinned her poor ears against her head. “Too high, much too high!” The straws expanded to their normal size.
Luna rubbed one of her aching ears, cursing her heightened sense of hearing.
Despite her initial missteps, Luna soon fine-tuned her control over the impossible instrument. With a few thoughts, she learned to to alter the pitch and tone of the pipes at will. Now, it was time to try a song.
Luna reared back, galloped for a bit, and jumped. No pipes rose up beneath her. It seemed that they only reacted to anything falling into the sea. Past the apex of her jump, Luna saw the familiar bubbling and boiling, followed by another honeycomb of pipes rising from the sea. She could see the pipes below her expanding and contracting according to her will.
“Do...Re...Mi…” She sang as she pranced over the ocean, leaving isolated islands of pipes behind her. Each time she landed, the sound was noticeably higher than the one before it. “... Fa...So...La...Ti...Do!”
Luna giggled. What else shall I play?. She thought for a second. Of course!. Luna reared on her hind legs, galloped a short distance, then leaped.
“How...much...is...that...doggy...in...the...window…” Luna sang as she pranced from one platform to the next
“The...one...with...the...waggly...tail?”
Luna smiled like a colt who'd just found a new favorite toy. As she played, her control over the pipes grew. With a little practice, she was able to play notes from all over the musical scale, from sharps to naturals, to dismal minors and jubilant majors.
Celestia always said I had an aptitude for music. Luna mused as she galloped over the ocean, leaving honeycombed paths behind her. A shame the same can not be said for her. While her sister had a beautiful singing voice, her attempts at playing instruments of any kind usually resulted in broken windows and bruised eardrums. Why, her attempts at playing the recorder alone had nearly started a riot!
As Luna played, she started to sense something in the air, as if she could reach out and grab it.
Well, fortune favors the bold. Luna leaped into the air, forelegs stretched out. To her amazement, her hooves plucked the air, as if she had run them across an invisible harp. Luna raised a forehoof in triumph, and it met a firm membrane of solid air. She jabbed at the membrane, and it rewarded her with the low boom of a bass drum.
It didn’t take long for Luna to master these as well. Before long, the dreamscape was alive with the sound of music. Luna twirled, somersaulted, and tumbled from platform to platform, playing increasingly complex melodies. In between landings, she’d twirl in midair, playing improvised minuets and spur-of-the-moment rondos. With her hooves, she beat out rapid tattoos of snare drums, kettledrums, and more.
As she played, the laws became ever clearer. The organ pipes became the bells of trumpets, tubas, trombones, the mouths of flutes, oboes, and clarinets. With a little more effort, she learned to control the height of the pipes. She’d create stair-steps of crescendos, then slide down sloping decrescendos. The dreamscape was crisscrossed with paths, mountains, and valleys of gleaming brass and chrome.
As Luna conducted her one-mare orchestra, she realized something: she was laughing. Not the short, harnessed giggles she was used to, but full-out belly laughs. If felt as if there were little balloons inside her body, lifting her above all the worries and cares of the waking world.
She hadn’t been this happy since the day she earned her cutie mark.
Just as Luna was finishing up an improvised symphony, the dreamscape rumbled, knocking her off her hooves. The sky was cloaked by sickly green-black clouds.
Something boiled in the water below. Luna looked down to see a shiny black dome the size of Canterlot Castle rise from the surface. The dome soon became a helmet-like head, attached to a black, reptilian body the size of a mountain.
Luna picked herself back up. “You!” She bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. “You have interrupted my somnolescent playtime!” She wasn’t really that angry. If anything, this made things more interesting! “As Princess of the Night, I order you to stand down and let us be!”
A crack appeared in the creature’s otherwise featureless skull, growing larger and larger until it was a mouth that could eat a small town in one bite. A low, subsonic rumble bellowed from the rock-lizard-monster’s mouth, as if a mountain was trying to clear its throat.
Luna clamped her hooves over her ears. Her teeth rattled in their sockets like pebbles in an empty soup can. Her bones vibrated like tuning forks. With a deceptive slowness, the monster raised a claw the size of a small village and swiped at Luna. Luna stomped her hooves; a mountain range of organ pipes rushed up and stopped the claw in its tracks.
“So, you dare to defy the will your Princess.” Luna’s eyes glowed white with power. She gave a grim smile. “It seems that you require a lesson in obedience!”
With that, Luna punched an air-drum. A drum roll slammed into the creature with a sound like thunder, sending canyon-sized cracks zigzagging through its hide. The creature let out another ear-splitting roar, then lunged at her, its mouth open wide. Luna rolled out of the way, then launched a barrage of drum beats at at the mountain-monster. Each beat slammed into it like a boxer’s hooves. Beats became jabs. Rolls became uppercuts.
Let us see what else we can do. Luna galloped towards the creature, leaping from platform to platform. As she ran, she held out a forehoof and plucked at air strings, until their soft notes became loud, grinding, chords. With a flick of her fetlock, she flung the heavy chords at the creature, slicing into its hide like acoustic blades. The creature clutched the gashes in its body, black ichor oozing from the wounds.
If Luna had been having fun before, she was having a ball right now. For once, she could best an opponent the easy way. No fruitless debating. No arguing over fine details. No worries about offending somepony. Just a contest of wills, with only one victor.
If only the Night Court was more like this.
Like a wasp attacking a manticore, Luna stung the beast again and again.The creature flailed its arms about, trying to swat her away, but its blows only met empty air. Barrages of chords chipped away at its stony hide, while flurries of drum beats kept it off balance. Craggy flesh sloughed off its body. Rivers of ichor oozed into the sea.
There was a sound like a world cracking in half. A jagged, star-shaped hole opened in the creature’s abdomen, glowing with an unnatural light. If it wasn’t a weak spot of some sort, she would eat her tiara. Without salt.
A massive drum salvo knocked the creature off its elephantine feet. As she galloped, she stretched out a foreleg. She could feel the air-strings plucking against her hoof, growing stronger and stronger with each pluck. Once the plucks became grinding chords, she dashed over the hole, her fetlock ready to to deliver the coup de grace...
Before she could land the blow, something tugged at her spine. No, not now! She strained against the invisible strings. No, please! I’m having so much fun!
The tugging became a sharp pull, as if some invisible hand was trying to pluck her out of the world. The next thing she knew, she was back in the expanse, watching her precious dreamfruit wither.
-
“What in the name of Equestria is going on?!” Luna demanded of the proxy that had summoned her. The wispy doppelganger shuddered and pointed at a massive, fanged prism emerging from the expanse.
Luna sighed and charged her horn. A massive blue broadsword materialized in her hooves. DreamEaters. Twice as vicious as Dreamsuckers and almost as stupid.
Well, I did wish for a little more excitement.
Luna charged the creature, her dreamstuff sword raised. The DreamEater roared with a sound like a hundred discordant trumpets and opened its massive jaws, revealing rows of pyramid-like teeth.
Back to work.
Author's Note
Inspired by a dream.
