Revy Goes to Hell

by mlplover17

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Dark, Comedy
Length: 957

Revy and Rock get transported to Revy's living nightmare. A world of magical ponies called Equestria.

Revy and Rock get transported to Revy's living nightmare. A world of magical ponies called Equestria. This is a fanfiction based on two of my favorite things: MLP and Black Lagoon. This is told all in Revy's POV.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-06 05:00:01 UTC

Aw Fuck I'm in Hell

I was sitting on the ship with dumbass Rock as usual, doing nothing, and smoking a nice cigarette.

"Hey Revy."

"What do you want?"

"Are you bored?"

"Maybe."

"What do you want to do?"

"Go kill someone."

"That's nice." he said sarcastically.

"Or you."

"Why don't we do something else?" he asked, nervously.

"Like what Moron?"

"I don't know. Talk."

"I'll pass."

"Ever watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic?" Did he seriously just fucking ask me? Is he that stupid?!

"Is that even a real fucking question?! Why the fuck would I watch a shitty little girl show?" I said, throwing my cigarette down, and stomping my foot on it.

"It was just a question."

"Rock, I'm gonna give you to the count of 3 to shut your mother fucking mouth." I said, pulling out my gun. God he's so fucking annoying.

"Okay."

"1...2...," But before I got to 3, a light started glowing, and we were pulled inside. We landed hard on the ground. I opened my eyes.

"God, I think I got another concussion." I said, rubbing my head.

"Rock where are-" I saw I was in a brightly colored world, where I saw.... ponies. I looked at Rock, who was a brown pony, and I was a tan pony. I looked at him angrily.

"ROCK! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO THIS TIME?! WHY ARE WE MOTHER FUCKING PONIES?!" I shouted to him at the top of my lungs.

"I don't know? Don't blame this on me!" he said back.

"WHO ELSE AM I GONNA BLAME IT ON?! NO ONE ELSE FROM OUR CREW IS HERE YOU DUMBASS! IVE JUST ENTERED FUCKING HELL! A STUPID, SHITTY WORLD OF TECHNICOLOR PONIES, WHO DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAN ACT LIKE FUCKING MORONS!" I shouted to him.

"Geez Revy, calm down."

"Seriously. WHEN IN ACTUAL FUCK HAVE I EVER CALMED DOWN! YOUVE KNOWN ME FOR HOW LONG NOW?! WHEN THE FUCK DO I CALM DOWN WHEN IM THIS FUCKING PISSED?! NEVER!"

"Okay I'm sorry."

"SORRY. THATS ALL YOU EVER SAY! YOU ALWAYS FUCK UP AND THIS TIME YOU MESSED UP BIG BITCH!" I shouted to him. Just then 6 ponies rushed up to us. A purple one, a pink one, a yellow one, a blue one, an orange one, and a white one.

"Are you okay?" the purple one asked us.

"I'm fine." I said, through gritted teeth.

"As least I'll be better once I strangle this mother fucker." I said, lunging towards Rock. I started punching him in the face, er, muzzle, whatever.

"Woah. Take it easy!" the pink one shouted, while the purple held me back with her magic.

"DON'T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" I shouted.

"Watch your language." the blue one told me.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

"Ok. IT'S ON BITCH!" she shouted, before the purple one held her back as well.

"Watch your language." I teased, smirking.

"I swear I'll kill you when I can." she said, through gritted teeth. I just laughed.

"Good luck with that." I said, smirking.

"Now some pony explain to me what happened." the purple one said. God, these ponies are already getting on my nerves.

Explainations, Introductions, and Alcohol

"This idiot somehow got us transported here." I said, pointing to Rock.

"Okay, well that's no reason to beat him up." the white one said.

"Oh shut your mouth. You don't know a single thing about me." I said, finally out of the unicorns magical grip.

"Well then let's get to know you." the purple unicorn said.

"Okay. I'm Revy, this is Rock the dumbass. I like drinking, smoking, and killing people." I said, smirking. They looked panicked.

"What? You wanted to get to know me, well that's me." I said, smiling.

"Ok then. I'm Twilight Sparkle, this is Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow Dash."

"Can I just say you guys are amazing! I see you guys in my phone all of the time. Netflix."

"Rock. Shut up!"

"Sorry."

"Look, just get us home."

"We don't know how to get you home." Twilight said.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! IM IN A NIGHTMARE RIGHT NOW! I DONT WANT TO BE IN A WORLD OF STUPID SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS! I WANT TO BE WHERE I CAN KILL SOMEONE! I DONT WANT FUCKING HOOVES AND A TAIL BY MY ASS! I WANT TO RUN, SHOOT, AND DRINK!" I shouted.

"You need to chill." Applejack said.

"Any of you got any alcohol or something?" I asked.

"Berry Punch does." Pinkie said.

"Where is she?" I asked. She pointed me to a house and I ran there. I needed something to drink, and I needed it now. It helps relieve stress. I tripped over my hooves once or twice, but I eventually made it to the only spot of sunshine in this stormy place. I sat down.

"What can I get you?" she asked me.

"Jack Daniels. FYI I'm broke."

"It's okay. Here I charge free."

"Awesome. Can you just give me the whole bottle." she shrugged and pulled on off of the shelf. I started chugging it down.

"Stressed?" she asked me.

"Yeah. How did you know?"

"Please. I use alcohol to wash away my worries too."

"Cool. At least one pony here knows how to act."

"You're telling me. I can't stand it here sometimes. No pony else appreciates alcohol like I do."

"I know right." I kept chugging down the liquid.

"Do you drink a lot?" she asked me.

"Yeah, but I don't usually get drunk. My body handles all of the alcohol."

"That's good."

"Yeah." I finished the bottle.

"Welp. I'll see you later. Berry Punch."

"What's your name?" she asked me.

"Revy." I said, leaving the shop.