BAD INFLUENCES
I’m standing here on Ponyville’s bridge, carrying two bags full of bits, trying to figure out what to do with them… but I just can’t decide.
There are exactly sixty thousand bits on each one of my bags; and I’m actually a little tempted to throw them to the river, and it wouldn’t take much time until some pony finds it, but… This wouldn’t be happening if I just… no. The only thing I have to think now is… What am I going to do with all this money? Maybe the best thing is donate it to charity, or…
“Whoa!” Some random pony bumped against me and we both fell to the ground, also as thousands of bits; but now that I’m seeing it, I’m realizing how much it really is. Did I count it right?
“Hey!” Two guards call my attention. They’re approaching in full gallop speed on the distance… and they seem angry. Then I take a second look to the guy next to me. He’s a tall middle age pony, with messy hair and a poorly shaved beard; but it takes me a moment to analyze the situation. There’s another bag on the ground next to this pony and there are lots of bits lying around. Now I am sure this isn’t all my money; and there are also two angry guards approaching… and then there’s this not-friendly-looking pony. He stands up and stares at me with anger, but then he starts running, leaving me alone on the bridge.
“Stop right there!” The guards are running towards me and I’m standing here, surrounded by all of this stuff out of context. This doesn’t look good to me. The guards are getting closer and the criminal is getting away… and I’m right in the middle.
“Stop! You criminals”
Suddenly they are chasing both of us; and the actual criminal turns to see me while he runs. He seems surprised, but then he quickly jumps into the bushes. I have no other choice but follow him. The criminal runs through the trees, nearly escaping my sight; and the guards are right behind me. But then He jumps out of the bushes. I do the same a few seconds after him… now I realize we are on the train tracks, and there’s a train underway. I can see the criminal. He’s reaching the train and getting on board on the last wagon. I have to hurry up, so I gallop as fast as I can, but the guards are right behind me.
“They’re getting away!”
The train is gaining speed, but I can almost reach it… and I fail to hold myself to the train, but then I suddenly feel a hoof pulling me by the throat and before I notice, I’m already on board. Those guards are too tired to continue. Now I think it’s over, and I sigh in relief… but when I turn around I see the criminal, who’s staring at me. This is definitely not over.
We spent a lot of minutes on that wagon. It’s been some time now since we were chased by those guards; and it couldn’t be more awkward. None of us has spoken a single word, but He walks around the car, babbling something in a creepy way… I’m scared.
“What was all that about?” He says in a really passive voice, but yet angry.
“I…” But then suddenly he jumps towards me, threatening me with his hoof.
“Why did you follow me?!”
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to…” But he didn’t let me finish.
“I needed that money, you know?! I’ve went through a very bucked-up day just to get it!”
“I… I’m sorry! I didn’t plan it!”
“All of that struggling for what?!” He doesn’t even seem to be listening to me; but I keep apologizing.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t give me no apologies now, I’m not in the mood.” Now he calmed down a little.
“I’m sorr… Look, you don’t know me and I don’t know you. So…” He stares at me in silence. “…I’m just going to leave; and I won’t bother you anymore.” But He is getting angrier. I think I should shut up.
“Or… I guess I could stay here for a while.” Then I walk backwards to sit on the corner, while he follows me with his creepy eyes.
It’s been another while, and it’s like the train wasn’t moving. This trip doesn’t seem to have an end. And He’s been staring at me the whole time. But maybe if I can hold on and don’t move a muscle, I can make it to the next station alive, no matter where this train is going… But now, while I stare at the window I start thinking. What would have happened to all that money just lying around that bridge?
A few minutes later, He gets distracted, so I stand up and slowly I try to reach the door.
“Where do you think you are going? Sit down!” This is ridiculous. I’m terrified, but I’m not gonna tolerate this guy for much longer.
“No!” He seems surprised by my response. “I’m leaving this car now and I’m walking away from you!” But he remains in silence, with no physical response at all. “Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate that you saved me from those guards. But I’m leaving right now!” I’m already holding the doorknob, but He’s not saying anything yet. “Well, goodbye!”
“Wait, wait, wait… There’s only one thing. At least I think you owe me that.” He says in a calmed way; and I stay in front of the door, holding the doorknob.
“Back there on that bridge. I ran into you… and we both dropped a lot of money. I saw that. And then you followed me… My question is…”
“Why I did it? I don’t know.” I answered.
“No, no. What I want to know is… Where did you get all that money?” This took me by surprise.
“I didn’t count it, but it seemed to be like… what sixty, eighty thousand bits?”
“One hundred and twenty.”
“Wow! …And I’m not impressed actually, because I had a lot more than you but, how is somepony like you walking around with all that cash?”
“What do you expect me to tell you?”
“Only the truth.”
“Alright. I stole it. You happy?”
“No, I’m not. Because that’s not true. -He gets a little more serious.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Who the buck you think you are talking to?! I tell you, that’s a lie!”
“Alright, alright! Calm down! -I’m a little more scared now.”
“Then talk.”
“I was… I was going to throw it to the river. I swear it’s the truth.” He nods in silence for a moment.
“That, I believe you… But you still didn’t answer my question.”
“I just did!”
“No. You told me what you were planning to do with the money; not where did you get it.”
“And what does it matter to you?”
“I’m just trying to have a conversation.”
“Well, I’m sorry. But that’s not of your business.” He suddenly seems very angry. He walks towards me in a threateningly way and I walk backwards.
“Listen to me, pal. I just lost a big score, because of you!” We are getting closer to the back part of the train, and the door is open. “Remember that I got you on this train, and if I want to, I can get you off right now.” Now I’m dangerously close to the edge, and the train is moving fast. I think he’s serious… I don’t know why I followed him.
“I… I sold my house and all my stuff… Just yesterday! …And I… I didn’t had any place to go, or… where to put that money! …That’s why I was carrying it!” He seems really surprised; and after a moment, he turns around, walks away and sits down. I’m still quite moved, but he doesn’t seem to be a threat anymore.
“Can I go now?”
“I had no idea…” He says as he stares at the ground. I try to ignore him and walk to the door, once again.
“I’m leaving now.”
“I didn’t know how crazy you were.” I stop when I hear that.
“I mean. I just robbed a bank. But you… you were about to end yourself.”
“What?! No, I wasn’t!”
“Oh, of course you were. And I can’t believe it; I actually saved you, from yourself!” He says with a little irony.
“That’s not true! You are just a psychopath and I’m walking away from you!”
“You don’t have to thank me.” He says in a condescending voice. But when I was about to open the door, it opens all of the sudden, and there’s a train employee standing right in front of me.
“Oh! I didn’t know there were passengers on this car. May I see your tickets?” He asks to us, but we remain in silence and then we look at each other.
“Sure. Yeah… the tickets… We have them, right… here!” And when he says that, he jumps through the window, from the moving train; and then he rolls on the rocks and bushes outside on the track. Right now, I’m as surprised as the train employee.
The train has arrived to its destination, and it only takes me an instant to figure out where I am now; is The Crystal Empire. I can’t believe what just happened to me today. I had never met such a crazy pony in my life and I’ve never been in so much trouble before like today. But I’m here now and I think I can fix everything. There is a crystal guard outside the station; maybe if I explain to him what happened back in Ponyville, the guards of this kingdom can get in touch with the other guards and we can solve everything. I’m approaching to talk to him, but I really need to choice the right words to explain exactly what…
“How dare you?!” I hear his voice, but I can’t see where is…
“Why didn’t you jump with me?!” He’s standing right there on the station, and I’m shocked… How did he found me? How did that crazy-flank criminal found me? He’s walking towards me, covered in dirt and scratches.
“What were you thinking?!”
“What do you want from me?!”
“Right now, I want an explanation.” He says as he shakes the dust. “How did you get out of that train so easily?”
I take a moment to calm down, and then I sigh before I talk.
“I paid for my ticket; and I could have paid for yours too. I always hide four bits on my mane for emergencies.” He doesn’t seem too happy to hear that, but you know what? I don’t care anymore.
“Ok, now leave me alone!”
“No way. We have to keep moving. The guards are after us.”
“That’s not true. Besides, I didn’t do anything!”
“Of course you did…” Then, he suddenly hits his head against a bakery window on the train station, breaking the glass in the noisiest way, then takes one cinnamon bun and then he sticks it into my mouth.
“…You just stole that.” Everypony around is staring in surprise, just as I am right now; and that guard just saw the whole thing.
“Hey!” The crystal guard yelled.
“Now you get to choose again; you follow me, or you stay where you are.” I try to talk, but my mouth is full of bun. Then the crazy pony starts running and the crystal guard is coming after me.
“Stop! Both of you!”
I can’t believe I’m doing this again. We are being chased among a big crowd; crossing streets, dodging other ponies and calling a lot of attention towards ourselves; but this is a huge kingdom, and in some point I just lost Him. I see a lot of ponies passing by, but where did He go? Now I’m all by myself… I guess, that’s what I wanted. And now, while I’m still running I start thinking… Hey, maybe I should turn myself to the authorities and end all this madness. But before I can make a decision that will affect me for the rest of my life, a hoof appears out of nowhere, pulling me behind a trashcan; and also blocking my mouth while the guard passes by the sidewalk, ignoring where I went. I try to yell, but the hoof is covering my mouth.
“Shut up, he’s gonna hear you.” He whispers.
“Get off me!”
“Shhh!”
“No! You “shhh!”
“Don’t…!” We start struggling in that alley, until a lady shows up.
“What is going on here?!” She caught us strangling each other. But we both stopped at that same moment, looking at her from the ground. There is an awkward moment of silence.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” In that moment we both put our hooves down.
“What are you doing back here? This is private property, you know?”
“I’m sorry. We were just…”
“…About to sing along!” He stated all of sudden.
“What?! I mean… Yes!” I try to dissimulate, but the angry lady stares at us for a moment.
“Really…? Because I love songs!” She suddenly seems very excited.
“Oh, dear!” I said.
“The thing is… that… we were going to sing in a… Different language!”
“Oh, How interesting! Now I really, really want to hear it!” But this crazy pony seems to think very fast.
“Well, then you will have to move with us; because this is a trip song.” He says, as we start walking backwards, away from the lady. Then he discretely hits me with his hoof so I start singing.
“‘O sole mio!”
“La cucaracha! la cucaracha!” We sing in the most horrible way.
“Sta nfronte a te!”
“Enchilada, blah blah blah…” And he runs away in that moment, leaving me alone with the lady for a second.
“And… My… Goodbye!” And then we escaped. I think it was more embarrassing for the lady than it was for us. But now it’s getting late, and here we are; walking through the alleys so we don’t get caught by the guards. At this point I don’t know what else to do but follow this dude… for now.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s late, it’s chilly. We are going to some place warmer…” He says as he looks around a corner, outlining a smile. “…and with food.”
At the end of the street there is… what it seems to be a party. There are lots of ponies gathering around a red carpet on the entrance, trying to look inside, but the security is strong.
“Come on.” We get closer to this party, and suddenly everypony starts clapping their hooves on the ground.
“What’s going on?” I asked to a pony on the crowd.
“Don’t you see? Fancy Pants is here!” Then I see him. Fancy Pants is coming out a very elegant carriage, next to his much more elegant wife.
“Fancy Pants! Fancy Pants!” The multitude goes crazy; except for the one pony next to me.
“But he’s not wearing any pants.” He says in a grumpy way.
“Oh, my! What I’d give to get inside that party.”
“Why? Is it that great?”
“Are you kidding? Fancy Pants always throws the most exclusive parties all over Equestria.”
“Is that so?” He asked.
“Absolutely. And not just any pony is invited.”
Then, He grabs me by the neck and pulls me away from the crowd.
“What do you want?!”
“We are going inside that party.”
“What? Didn’t you hear what she said? They don’t let get in just any pony.”
“Oh, but we are not just any ponies, are we?” He says, with an evil grin on his face.
It’s dark now; and we are standing in front of the same red carpet. The multitude is gone and we are the only ponies around. Right now, the security ponies are pointing and mocking at us.
“I’m freezing.”
“Shut up! Me too.”
“And I’m also hungry.”
“At least you ate a cinnamon bun earlier.” He says, while still staring at the entrance to the party.
“Let’s go now. There is no way they let us in.”
“Could you shut up now? I’m thinking.”
“So you are still planning to go inside? Is this part of your plan to get in?”
The security guards start laughing when they hear that.
“And what do you call this part of the plan?” But in this moment, He’s not saying anything, or moving at all.
“Oh, I know how to call it. Failure!”
“Ohhhhhhh! –The security ponies shouted.”
“Shut up!” He yelled so hard, even the security ponies stopped laughing. Now he is dangerously angry, and I don’t like the way he looks at me.
“Hey… hey… stay back dude, I warn you.”
“Yeah? And what you gonna do?” He starts walking to me, and once again, I’m walking backwards. The security ponies seem ready to intervene at any moment, when suddenly, an old lady walks down the red carpet from the inside.
“What is going on here?” Said the old mare.
“It’s Nothing ma’am. Please go back inside. We’ll take care of this.”
“Take care of what? I’m just going to give him a friendly hug.” He says, with a maniac glare on his eyes.
“Oh… isn’t that nice?”
“Please ma’am. I insist…”
“Oh, it’s ok. I was leaving now.”
“Very well then. Let us bring you your carriage.” The security pony makes a sign to the valet parking who, instantly leaves to bring the vehicle. The lady waits for her carriage in front of the street and the big security guy stands between her and us with an unfriendly look on his face. Then, the lady sees us.
“You don’t tell me you have been out here waiting to get into that party.”
“Ok, we won’t tell you then.” He says, and she giggles.
“Well, you don’t have to worry. You are not missing anything. That must be the most boring party that Fancy Pants has ever thrown.”
“He, he…” I try to laugh, but I just don’t have the spirit. The old lady seems nice. She looks at us, standing on the dark and cold; and she feels sorry for us… I know it. We look pathetic.
“Are you boys’ hungry?”
“Maybe a little…”
“We’re fine.”
“Because, it’s not that late. I could invite you some dinner. What do you say?”
“Absolutely!”
“Ma’am! I don’t recommend…”
“Oh, it’s alright darling. They seem to be nice boys.” She says, pointing at us; at the time I sigh and this guy smiles like an angel.
“See?”
The security pony is speechless, but the carriage arrives in that moment. The lady gets in and then she invites us inside.
“Come on boys.”
“Oh, you are too kind!” He says, jumping inside the carriage, and then I go after him. Then, the lady makes a sign, and the two ponies start pulling her vehicle. And while we are leaving, this crazy pony looks out the window, mocking at the security guard as we move away; meanwhile, inside the carriage, it’s more than obvious how unhappy I am right now.
“Don’t be sad darling. Fancy Pants events are not that big deal. Seriously, that pony wouldn’t recognize fun even if it was on his cutie mark.”
“Dumb guard… Hey, thank you so much for this.” He says to the lady.
“You are very welcome. My name is Carnelian Agate.”
“My name is Plumb Bob, and this here is…” They both stare at me.
“Oh… My name is JoySpread.”
“JoySpread?! Really?” He shouted.
“Yes. Why?” I ask him, not very amused by his tone.
“Nothing, it’s just that… it fits you so well.” He says with sarcasm.
“Wait a minute. You two haven’t introduced yet?”
“We really haven’t had the time. The thing is… we’re travelers, and we are on our way to Canterlot.”
“Canterlot?!” I didn’t know that was his plan.
“Oh really? I love Canterlot! In fact, I will be moving there in a couple of days.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Not quite… You see, I’m a jewelry manufacturer, and Fancy Pants is one of my best clients. But he just told me that he needs me to be near his place, so he doesn’t have to travel all the way here to get his new jewelry.”
“So…”
“So I have no other choice but move to Canterlot.”
“That doesn’t sound fair. If he wants to buy from you, he should come here every time!”
“Oh no, there’s no problem at all. It’s just… I really love the Crystal Empire… It is my home.” Then the lady wistfully stares at the window for a moment.
“Oh… I’m sorry if I’m boring you, I just love to talk about my job.”
“No… it’s ok.” I say.
“Well, I love to hear about it.” Plumb Bob says.
“Thank you guys. And what about you? What do you do in your travels?”
“Well, we…”
“I’m glad you ask.” I interrupted.
“Because my great partner here and I are going to Canterlot, where we are going to split; and each one will continue with his life… I mean, career.” I try to send the message. Fortunately, the lady doesn’t seem to get it.
“That sounds… interesting.”
“Indeed. And my friend here… uh…”
“Plumb Bob.” He says.
“Plumb Bob! He’s an interior designer. And he has this future project with gray walls and bars on the doors which he’s going to be doing for a long time.”
“It sounds very interesting.” But Plumb Bob doesn’t seem too happy with me right now.
“Oh, that’s nothing! When I first met Joy, He was planning to dedicate his entire time on this project about… a small wooden bed with a lid on it. And I’m pretty sure he’s going to continue with this “project” as soon as possible.” In that moment we stare at each other, with a fake smile on our faces and a challenge glare on our eyes.
“I don’t know what to say boys. I’m very pleased to have met you today. Maybe you can both help me someday to redesign my new house in Canterlot.”
“Of course.”
“I would love to.” We say to the lady; then we stare defiantly at each other as we speak. Then, the carriage stops.
“Here we are.” The lady gets off the vehicle.
“Come on in.” She invites us to her house; and when we crossed that door, we both were absolutely shocked. This place isn’t just anything. There are jewels everywhere and on everything; from furniture to chandeliers, and even in other jewels.
“Wow!” We both said at the same time.
“Why thank you boys. Now, let’s talk about dinner, shall we?”
“Oh, boy!” He runs to the table, very excited. Ms. Agate goes to her fridge and opens it.
“Let’s see… what can I offer you? Oh! There’s some salad! But I also could make you some sandwiches.”
“The salad would be great Ms. Agate.”
“Yeah, maybe for you! I would like a sandwich please.”
“Of course! I’ll make it right now.” She takes one bowl of salad and put it in front of me on the table.
“Here you go.”
“Thank you Ms. Agate.” She walks away.
“What are you doing?” I whisper to him.
“I’m being nice and I’m accepting her offer.”
“She’s done enough just by offering dinner to us! You don’t have to take advantage of that!”
“Shut up and eat your salad!”
“Is everything ok?” She asks from the kitchen.
“Of course Ms. Agate. It’s just that, my friend Joy is a little shy to tell, but he really loves his salads with a lot of mayonnaise and extra onion.”
“What?! I mean… what?”
“Oh, there’s no shame on the kind of food you like dear… here.” And then she brings me the onions and mayonnaise.
“Oh… I… appreciate it?”
“You’re very welcome.” Now I have to eat this, otherwise it would be disrespectful. But we can both play this game.
“Oh, Ms. Agate. My friend Plumb Bob doesn’t want to bother you, but he really likes his sandwiches with lots of hot sauce.”
“Hey… I actually do!” I didn’t expect that.
“Well, I guess you are lucky. I have a new bottle right here.” Then, she serves him his hot-sauce-sandwich, which he starts eating with joy.
“Oh, Ms. Agate; you are the best!” He speaks with his mouth full.
“Uhhh…”
And after a strangely delicious dinner, we are ready to go.
“Thanks a lot, Ms. Agate. It was a lovely dinner.”
“You’re welcome boys.”
“I don’t know how we can pay you for this.”
“Oh, don’t worry about anything. It was nice to have met you two today.”
Then we’re about to cross the door out, when she talks to us.
“Do you have any place to stay while you are here on the Empire?”
“We… uh… we…”
“We’ll find a hotel Ms. Agate… or maybe a trash container.” That last part I whisper to Plumb Bob.
“Would you like to stay here tonight?” This took us by surprise.
“Are you serious Ms. Agate?”
“Of course! You can use the guest room.”
I would like to say no. She has done too much for us now. But I don’t want to spend the night on the streets.
“Thank you Ms. Agate.”
“Yeah! You are the best!” And she giggles.
I’m starting to think I should have thought this twice; because now I have to share the bed with Him.
“Move! You’re taking all the blanket!”
“Alright. Then take it!” I throw the entire blanket on him.
“Now I would like some peace.” I say as I turn and look away on the bed, but I don’t think I can sleep next to a criminal, so I’ll try to stay awake and get through this night; but He suddenly speaks to me.
“Ms. Agate is great, isn’t she?” He says all of sudden.
“What? I’m not talking to you!”
“Wow, what a grumpy. I’m just trying to have a conversation.”
“No, there isn’t going to be any conversation!” I yell very hard.
“Is everything alright?” Ms. Agate suddenly asks from the other room.
“It’s nothing Ms. Agate.” We said at the same time, then Plumb Bob giggled a little after that; and then he suddenly falls asleep, but I don’t think I can do it so easily.
It’s morning.
“Wha…?” There is plenty of light coming from the window and its white curtains, but now I’m the only one in bed.
“When did I fell asleep?”
I get up and go to the living room, where Plumb Bob is sitting in front of the table, with a necklace on his hooves; there are also several pieces of jewelry on the table, which he stares at with a smile. Then, he sees me.
“You’re finally up.”
“Seriously?!” I approach to him, completely decided to confront him. “…She took us into her house, and this is how you’re paying her? …Stealing?!” But he just sits there, apparently confused.
“Listen to me! I’m not gonna let you do it! Even if I go to jail too, I’m calling the guards, now!” He continues speechless as I walk to the door. But Ms. Agate walks inside the room in that moment.
“Good morning JoySpread!” She walks towards Plumb Bob and she sits next to him.
“What do you think of this one?” He asks to her.
“It’s great! You learn very fast.”
“Why thank you Ms. Agate!”
I’m very confused right now.
“What is going on?”
“Well, Bob told me that he wanted to learn about my job. And I must tell you, he’s really good at this.”
“Oh, please, Ms. Agate.” Then they both laugh.
“I… uhhh…”
“But don’t worry dear; since you missed breakfast, I made you a basket of sandwiches for your travel to Canterlot.”
“I… I don’t know what to say.” I really don’t know. But then, we are ready to go and we say goodbye to Ms. Agate.
“It’s been a real honor to have stayed here with you Ms. Agate.” Plumb Bob says.
“For me as well. And I have the feeling that we’ll met again In Canterlot.”
“I hope so.” I said.
“I know so.” He said right after.
Ms. Agate must be the nicest pony I’ve ever met. I’m sorry that I really won’t see her again. And after a farewell, we only walked a couple of blocks and he already ate half the sandwiches of the basket.
“Why did you ate those?”
“Remember, the guards are still after us…” He speaks with his mouth full. “…And if we have to run, we won’t be carrying them.”
“And filling yourself with them is a better option?”
“Hey, I’m not throwing them away! This isn’t money! …If you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, very funny… Now give me that.” I take one sandwich and take a bite while I think.
“So… Was it true about going to Canterlot?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then, that was your plan this whole time? Robbing a bank and then escape to Canterlot?”
“Not exactly. I just decided it.”
“You just decided it?”
“Yeah, at the moment I told Ms. Agate that we were going.”
“You can’t be serious.”
“I don’t want to lie to her, Joy.”
“Does it mean I can leave now?” But before I got the answer I wanted, he stopped walking.
“Wait…”
“What?” I asked to him.
“Look, guards!”
There are two guards walking down the street; but we quickly hide under the table of a restaurant.
“They’re coming here.”
“So what now? Are you finally turning yourself?”
Plumb Bob thinks for an instant, and then he takes the pepper from the table and takes the lid off.
“Quick, put this in your mouth.”
“My mou…?” He pours the pepper into my mouth but I start sneezing.
“Don’t breath!”
“There they are!” They saw us, but suddenly Plumb Bob pushes me from under the table.
“Come on, run! And try not to breathe!”
My mouth is full with pepper, but Plumb Bob starts running and the guards start chasing us; and he doesn’t even give me a chance to explain to them what happened.
“Follow me!”
He leads me to a dead end alley and then the guards arrive, blocking our only escape.
“It’s over criminals!”
“Ok, ok, you caught us. But please, let him go to a hospital first.”
“What are you talking about?” I’m confused too.
“My partner is too sick and he can hardly breathe. Please!” The two guards walk a few steps closer, staring at me. My face looks really sick. I can’t take it much longer… I need to breathe!
“Alright; He’s going to the hospital. But after that…” In that moment, Plumb Bob hits me behind my head, making me cough, and a bunch of pepper spreads all over the guard’s faces and they start sneezing uncontrollably.
“Charge!” He yells, as he pounces on the guards. And when I finally stop coughing I realize what just happened.
“This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong…”
We are walking down the main street, wearing the guards’ uniforms.
“…this is wrong, this is wrong…” I continue saying.
“Could you stop being such a pain in the flank and shut up?! I’m not doing this just for fun! We’re on a mission, to help Ms. Agate.”
“What are you talking about? How is this going to help her?! And help her with what?”
“Oh, you’ll see…”
We are approaching to the same place where Fancy Pants party was last night. The same security guards are still there, while other ponies are dismantling everything; but they look surprised when we show up.
“Hello there. Do you remember me?” Plumb Bob said to one security guards.
“Wait, what?! You two were royal guards all the time?”
“Of course we are. We were out of duty; and we only wanted to have some fun. But, as you didn’t let us enter…”
“I… I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were…”
“Silence!” The security ponies seem quite scared now.
“It doesn’t matter now. We are here on royal business; and we need your help.”
“I’ll do everything I can, sir.”
“We’re looking for Fancy Pants, and we need his exact location.”
“I’m Sorry… I don’t…”
“What was that?” He interrupts him.
“I… I said I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know where he is.” Plumb Bob suddenly grabs his neck and stares at him very closely.
“Listen to me, pal. I don’t have the time! So you tell me where he is, or I’ll throw you into the darkest dungeon in the darkest corner of Equestria!”
“No! Please! I… I think he must be on that fancy hotel downtown! Please, don’t arrest me!” Plumb Bob turns and winks at me, and then he turns to him again.
“Alright, we’ll go check. But if we don’t find him, we’ll be back to have a word with you. Is that clear?”
“Y… yes… sir.” Then Plumb Bob lets him go and walks away. Then, the poor guy stares at me, still shaking. This is wrong in so many levels that I don’t know what to say to him.
“Thank you for your cooperation.” And then I walk after Plumb Bob, to the fancy hotel downtown.
When we arrive, we confirm what the security pony told us. Fancy Pants is right there, standing in front of the hotel, while the employees take his dozens of suitcases into his carriage.
“There is our guy.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, but it can’t be anything good. Then we approach to the entrance of the very fancy hotel.
“Are you Fancy Pants?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Very well, we are here for official royal business and we need to speak with you.”
“Of course. I always have time for the Crystal Empire royal guards.”
“Yeah, yeah… but, we need to talk in private.” Everypony around stops what they were doing to look at us, but Fancy Pants doesn’t seem even a little nervous right now.
“Absolutely.” Then he turns around and walks inside the hotel and we walk right after him. “Now, take all my suitcases into my carriage. I will be back in a moment.” He says to the hotel employees.
Upstairs, we arrive to his room, where there is his wife, right outside the door.
“Are we ready to go now darling?” Said his wife. But then she sees us and she gets a little confused.
“Did the Princess sent those crystal guards to be our escort?”
“No, honey. They just want to have a talk with me. Why don’t you wait for me on the carriage so we can talk in private?” Then she smiles and leaves, but not before Plumb Bob turned to see her behind while she was walking down the aisle… so disrespectful.
“Shall we?” Now Fancy Pants walks into the room, with a lot of confidence, followed by Plumb Bob, but when I try to walk inside, He stops me.
“Stay right here and make sure no one comes too close.” He whispers to me.
“What are you gonna do?” He outlines an evil grin.
“Just talk.”
Then he closes the door and I stay outside, but suddenly, I start hearing Plumb Bob’s voice, yelling at Fancy Pants. I’m not sure what he’s saying, but it sounds pretty bad. I only take a look to the aisle to check if no one’s around. The yelling is getting louder and angrier, and there are also louder noises; I think I can even hear the frightened whines of Fancy Pants. But after a few endless minutes, the door opens and Plumb Bob walks out the room like nothing happened.
“Come on.” He says as he walks away down the aisle. I take a peek to the room and I see Fancy Pants, curled up in a corner, shaking in fear and surrounded by broken lamps, furniture and stuff. Then I walk away, but not before I hear a slight sobbing.
Outside the hotel, Plumb Bob is walking down the street acting all normal.
“Alright. Mission… accomplished!”
“What are you talking about?! What was that all about?!”
“Like I said, I didn’t do it for fun; I wanted to help Ms. Agate, and I did it. Besides… it was pretty fun.”
“What?! Threatening one of the most Rich and powerful ponies in all Equestria?! Are you nuts?!” I don’t know why I asked that.
(sigh) “All I did was to convince Mr. “Fancy Pants” to stop making everypony move from their home towns every time he wants something from them. And I also told him that if he wanted to buy anything from now on, he had to move his rich and stupid flank to get it… Now Ms. Agate doesn’t have to leave the Crystal Empire.” This makes me feel sick.
“Uh… I can’t believe that… I actually cannot believe anything that’s happening.”
“You better don’t puke on your uniform. We’re going to need them one more time.”
“What do you mean?” I say, still feeling a little sick.
“Don’t you see? We’re heading to the Crystal Castle right now.” Then I look forward and I see the Crystal Castle, just a few blocks away. We’re approaching to it, and I hadn’t noticed.
“What? Why?”
“Isn’t that obvious?” I was about to ask why one more time, but then I started thinking. Maybe we can solve everything up if we get to talk to the Princess in person. Well, at least it might solve everything for me, but I don’t see much future for Plumb Bob.
“Ok. I get it. But how are we going to get into the castle without being seen?”
“We’re royal guards now, Remember?”
We are approaching to the entrance of the castle, but there are lots of crystal guards around the place, and also around the Crystal Heart. Now I’m feeling really nervous as we approach.
“I don’t think this is going to fool anypony.”
“Relax. Just… play your costume.”
We arrive like two normal guards, passing next to the Crystal Heart, which is being guarded by two strong and intimidating crystal guards; but suddenly, they salute us like soldiers. I’m kind of nervous, but we salute them as well, and then we continue our way. I can’t believe this worked.
We cross the principal door and then we walk along the corridors of this huge castle. Being here is a lifetime experience, but this is not how I wanted to have it. We can see a big amount of guards next to a giant door. I can only assume that the Princess is inside right now. We approach, but I keep quiet; I hope that Plumb Bob has any idea of what to do.
We stop in front of the line of guards and salute them like we did earlier. They salute to us and then Plumb Bob speaks.
“Hello fellows!” I try not to hoof-face myself, but I can’t.
“Um… Hello?” Said one of the royal guards.
“We need to speak with the princess right now. It’s important.”
“I’m sorry soldier; but the Princess is in the middle of an important meeting with a group of visitors from a faraway land. And she must not be disturbed.”
“But we have an important message for her.” I try to convince them.
“In that case you must give the message to us, and we will give it to the princess as soon as possible.”
“Uh… am… You see…” Everything is falling apart. I think they are perceiving suspicions about us. But then, Plumb Bob approaches to one of them, wrapping one hoof around him with extreme confidence.
“Can I speak to you in private?” He walks away with the royal guard to talk in private at the other side of the room; leaving me alone, trying to dissimulate in front of the rest of them. But I think its working, even I’m sweating and my legs are shaking.
“Listen. You look like a good soldier, and I think I can trust you with this information…” Plumb Bob is whispering something to the royal guard, but I can’t tell what it is. I can only see that the expression on the guard’s face is stunning. And finally, after a couple of minutes, they both return to the door. Plumb Bob seems confident and the guard looks shocked as he walks back to his position.
“So, what do you say, buddy?” He asked to the royal guard.
“I… I don’t know… This… this is too much information to handle right now.” The guard is having troubles to articulate the words.
“We only need a few minutes.” The guard stays shocked for a moment, as he looks at me and Plumb Bob with wide open eyes.
“B… But I have direct orders from the Princess. Y… You have to understand.”
(Sigh) “Ok… Don’t worry. I understand. Orders are orders.”
“Thank you sir. I really wish I could help you. B… but if you need anything else, I can call all the guards who are out of duty to be on your disposition right away.”
“There’s no need. This is an important mission, and the fewer ponies know about it, is better.”
“Yes sir. I understand.”
“Well… I think this can wait a few hours. We’ll be around the castle for the rest of the day. Make sure the Princess knows about our presence.”
“Of course sir! I will take care of that in person.” He salutes us, with the rest of the guards. Plumb Bob and I do the same.
“Alright. Keep up with the good job, soldier!”
And just like that, we walk away, leaving the castle.
“What did you tell him?”
“Not much really.” But the soldiers are as intrigued as me; and they all start whispering as soon as we leave.
“Who were they?”
“What did he tell you?” The other guards asked to him.
“I… I can’t tell you that… It’s classified.” Said the one Plumb Bob talked to.
Outside the castle; at the entrance.
“Well… I guess we lost our chance.”
“What do you mean? We still have to talk to the Princess!”
“Take it easy Joy. It wasn’t really that important.”
“No! Of course it is! We have to… wait… wait a minute. Why did you want to meet the Princess on the first place?” I’m starting to question what his intentions were.
“Well, I’ve heard that Princess Cadence is very nice, and I just wanted to meet her. That’s it.”
I stay shocked, but he keeps walking a little. Then he stops and turns back to me.
“What?”
In that moment, a couple of guards approaches and salute us.
“Alright. It is officially the change of guard.”
“Say what?” Plumb Bob says.
“For the Crystal Heart. Do a great job, soldiers!” He says as they walk away, leaving me and Plumb Bob alone with the Crystal Heart. We look at each other, and then to the magical artifact right next to us; floating on its crystal rock thing.
“Well… It’s time to leave.”
“What are you saying? We cannot leave just like that!”
“Why not?”
“Who is going to take care of the Crystal Heart?”
“Oh, it will be alright.”
“No. We can’t just leave alone one of the most powerful artifacts in all of Equestria. Now we must stay here; at least until the next change of guard.”
“Ok, you’re taking this entire “guard” thing a little too serious. We’re not really real guards, you know?” I don’t think he understands how important this is.
“We have to protect the Crystal Heart.”
He stares at me for a moment. I think he knows I’m serious about this.
“Alright. You do that… I’m going to have lunch. I’m starving.” And he walks away, just like that.
“What? You’re leaving me alone with this?”
“Oh, relax. How many ponies will it take to keep safe a magic piece of rock? Besides, right now, we are the two most dangerous “criminals” on this entire kingdom. Nothing is going to happen.”
“And now what? You dragged me all the way here just to leave me like this?”
“Oh, don’t you cry like a baby! I’ll be back soon! …So, have fun being a crystal guard!” And as watch him walking away I start thinking; I really wish I could leave too. But unlike him, I do have a conscious; and it is telling me that I have to stay here… I hope I’m making the right choice.
After a couple of hours, it’s getting late. It has been a while since Plumb Bob left; which is actually what I wanted, and now that I can think in peace… this isn’t bad at all! I only have to stand by the Crystal Heart, and every time a guard passes by, I salute like a soldier; this is actually pretty great. I’m starting to consider making my life as a royal guard of the Crystal Empire. After all, I really like how I look on this uniform… If only it wasn’t stolen.
“Are you done playing “guard”?” This took me by surprise. He’s standing right there, eating a bag of chips, and he’s not wearing the crystal guard uniform anymore.
“What are you doing here? I thought you were gone.”
“I said I’d be back. And I’m a stallion of my word.”
“Yeah, right… Why don’t you just leave me alone? I’m doing fine since you left, you know?”
“Oh, really? And what’s your plan? Pretending to be a guard for the rest of your life?”
“No. I’m going to wait until Princess Cadence is available and then ask her for indulgence; and after paying my debt to society, I will try to join the force of guards of Equestria.” Plumb Bob seems a little surprised.
“Amazing how you planned your entire life so quickly. Considering that you were trying to end it when I found you.” I stare at him with anger.
“Alright, I’ll respect your decision. But I seriously doubt they give you any “indulgence”. Because, just for your information; they are already looking for Two criminals on crystal guard uniforms.” I stay shocked for a few seconds, and then I quickly rip off my uniform. Plumb Bob seems like about to laugh.
“Shut up and give me a chip.”
As we walk away from the castle, I’m already resigning to having any kind of future.
“And what’s next?” I ask.
“Canterlot.” He answers with his mouth full of chips.
“And what’s next after that?” I ask in a really depressing tone.
“Oh, you really are a case, aren’t you?”
“Why?”
“Come on! You are on the shiniest empire in all of Equestria! Would it kill you to try to have some fun? Enjoy it, Joy!”
But I remain in silence for a moment, which confuses Plumb Bob a little.
“Would it kill me? …Let me ask you something? If I were to die, I disappeared or just gone tomorrow, would anypony feel sorrow, or show love, or would it really matter?”
Now he seems even more confused.
“But you know what? I came way too far on this game to turn and walk away and not say that I got to say.”
“And what do you exactly you mean by that?” He asks in a passive aggressive tone.
“What the buck you take me for?! A joke?! Do you always act like that?! Before I do that, I beg Celestia to kick me out! To the Moon or Sun, So what?! And yet here you’re all steady trying to “enjoy” your life. But ain’t not gonna do nothing but piss me off, and only twist me off!”
-That’s not… -He tries to talk, but I won’t let him.
-“Hey JoySpread you’re gonna let him get away with that? He tried to play you; you can’t let him escape with that” And I fell this trap! This ain’t right! This is crazy the way we act! When we confuse being nuts with being bad! Well, this chasing stops…!
“Wow, wow wow…” He interrupts all of sudden. I’m gasping and sweating and my blood is boiling.
“You know what? I think I understand you.”
This is weird. I’m not even sure of what I said.
“You are all like, “They’re ain’t no getting rid of me; If so, they’d have to try” JoySpread, I think I like your style! “The only way I’m leaving this whole thing is suicide!” -I’m very insulted for what he just said, and he knows it.”
“Oh, but don’t feel bad. You’re Just like me. I’m like everypony’s favorite arch-enemy. You know… physically fitted to be the most dangerous pony there is.”
I walk a step backwards as a precaution.
“Oh, but I’m not what you think. I appear to be bucked-up, or mentally endangered; and I bet you think I’m insufferable… or maybe insane, but in fact I’m allergic to dying. You think not? Oh, come on! You can see how much. This is your one chance to make me stop!” He stands in front of me, defying me to punch him, or start a fight or something. But I’m not interested, so I turn away.
“I don’t care about yours… I was happy having a life at first… But if you think money could make you happy, let me tell you, it only makes your pain worst.” Then I turn around and stare at the Castle.
“It hurts when you see your friends turn their back on you, you know? Then you don’t have nothing left but your bag full of gold. And you know that’s the end, no laughs, no fiends, no girls, just two bags full of your bits and then you… Baaam!” Then I suddenly turn around and I clap my hooves in front of his face, scaring him a little.
“…Some pony slams you and you fall! Then there are lots of bits on the ground, you try to crawl out but there are guards. And now I’m about to lose it all; and it’s on you, this is your fault!” I point at him, putting my hoof near to his eyes; and then I put my hoof down. Then I think he was about to answer me back, but he suddenly changed his expression and the smile disappeared from his face. Then he slowly turns around to look up to the Castle; making me wonder what is he thinking.
“What’s wrong now?” I ask him, without much enthusiasm.
“Everything! Don’t you see? Just look at us!” But I’m not sure what he means. “This stupid society has no sense! And it’s not meant to ponies like us! Ponies who live their own lifes! Ponies who don’t care what everypony else cares! And this pisses me off!” Now I’m scared; I think he’s about to explode. In that moment he takes a big rock from the ground and throws it against the Crystal Castle.
“Buck the police!”
The rock flies through one window, and instantly, an alarm horn sounds, and group of guards look out from the balcony.
“Oh, my…”
“There they are!” Said one crystal guard.
I turn to Plumb Bob, but he starts running.
“Come on Joy! We’re leaving this kingdom!”
“Wh… What!? But… But…”
“Come on!”
I look back to the Castle, with terror. There are dozens of crystal guards gathering at the entrance, and they’re all staring at me. Right now I don’t have time to think, so I start galloping as hard as I can.
We make our way through the Empire, crossing streets imprudently; pushing other ponies in our way and running across the alleys. But it doesn’t matter how far of the Castle we are; there are alarm bells all over the Empire. It’s so loud I can’t take it… it’s destroying my nerves. But right now I can only follow Plumb Bob. He’s leading me all over the kingdom; and in some point we turn around a corner and start running down a main avenue… I’m really agitated, but it only gets worse when Plumb Bob talks to me.
“Don’t look back!” But that’s the first thing I do, and I only manage to scare myself to death, because right behind us is like the entire royal guard, chasing us down the avenue in a battle formation. It’s so terrifying I can’t even scream; but Plumb Bob turns to look at me and tries to calm me down.
“You better don’t wet yourself! We’re getting out of this!”
We’re approaching to the fancy hotel we visited earlier and there are employees working outside, carrying lots of suitcases to the roof of a carriage. When we pass by the hotel, they all quit what they were doing to see us. That’s when Plumb Bob talks.
“Hi guys!” And as soon as we pass, all the employees start pushing the carriage where they were putting all the baggage; and when they overturn it, a ton of suitcases fall to the ground, forming a mountain that blocks the entire avenue. This seems to take the crystal guards by surprise, because one by one they all start crashing against the pile of baggage on the street. Then Plumb Bob looks over his shoulder with an impish grin on his face.
“Thank you guys!”
The hotel employees are saying goodbye to us and waving their hooves on the air while the crystal guards are trying to stand up and rescue their partners from the pile of baggage; all of this as we run away.
Right outside the Empire, Plumb Bob leads me to a wide open field, where there is a cart parked, with two ponies in front of it. Then he jumps on it, and stares at me.
“What are you waiting for?”
“I think I need a little more context here.” He was about to yell at me, when one of the ponies pulling the cart speaks.
“Are we ready to go now?”
“Of course.” Then he looks at me. “What? Are you waiting for an invitation?” He stares at me for a moment and then I sigh in resignation… I guess this is another trip I can’t say no to; so I jump on the cart and then it finally starts moving.
“You are going to have to wear these, if you’re trying to hide or something.” Then he throws a couple of capes with hoodies at us, and once we put them on, I stare at Plumb Bob.
“What?”
“You will have to give me a lot of explanations of what happened here.” But he just smiles as he stares at the road ahead. And now I look back. I can’t believe this is how we’re leaving the Crystal Empire… leaving the Crystal Empire in chaos.
It’s already dark. We’re on the middle of the woods, and this cart is taking us to I don’t know where on this path. I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast and I almost had a nervous breakdown today, but despite all of that, I’ve never been this alive in my entire life.
“What are you smiling about?” He asks in a bitter tone.
“What?” I didn’t realize I was smiling.
“Didn’t you have something to ask me?”
“Oh, right. About what happened back there.”
“Well, you see… Do you remember those guys from the hotel? Turns out, they were the same ones working for “Fancy Pants”.” He says that in a sarcastic tone. “And… it seems like he’s kind of a flank-hole, and those guys really loved what I did to him, so… they helped us.”
“And this ride?” I say as I point at the cart we’re sitting on.
“This? I just found some guys and hired them. That’s it.”
“And when did you have the time to do all this stuff?”
“You really make a lot of questions, don’t you? Remember that time when I left you to get lunch? That’s exactly what I did… I walked around the empire, I had lunch in a nice place, and I met some ponies on my way. That’s how I met the hotel guys and that’s when I found transportation.”
“Alright… And how did you pay for this?” In that moment, Plumb Bob takes off his cape.
“I didn’t.” Then he starts filling the cape with some hay that’s lying around on the cart. Then he makes me a discreet gesture, telling me to do the same, and that’s what I do. Then, we jump from the cart and we quickly hide on the trees. The ponies pulling the cart look back when they hear a sound, but they see nothing except for those capes with hoodies, filled with hay, pretending to be us; then they keep pulling. I feel sorry for them, but not too much… poor clueless ponies.
It’s already dark; and we are wandering around the woods, but I’m exhausted. That’s when Plumb Bob says what I was too afraid to ask him.
“We should camp here and continue in the morning.”
“Finally!” And in that moment I fell to the ground, next to a giant tree.
“Don’t get so comfy! We need fire… Did you hear me?” He asks me, but I was already asleep; and the last thing I hear from him, is a slight growling.
Inside my dream.
I’m walking down the street with my brother. It’s a hot day here on Manehattan. It must be like ninety degrees, I don’t know.
“I think I’m catching a sun burn here.” I say to my brother, but when I turn to look at him, his shirt is off, and he’s smiling at me with a hussy grin. In that moment I start running, but he chases me; and the entire time he’s just laughing at me and snapping at me with his shirt.
“Cut it out! Brucie!” But then he starts slapping at my back.
“You stupid bird!” And finally, he tries to contain his laughter.
“Alright, alright… phew! He, he, he!” Then he puts his shirt back on, acting like it was the perfect weather to wear it.
“I don’t know how you can stand this heat.”
“It’s alright to me, lil’ brother.”
I guess gryphons must have melanin on their feathers or something, ‘cos I’m on fire now.
“This isn’t that bad. You shouldn’t be moaning. Don’t you remember that summer in Mexicolt?”
“Of course I do… But now I just wanna go home!” I moan in a childish tone, and then I continue walking… that is until I hear those words from him.
“Don’t worry lil’ brother… you’ll be home.”
I don’t know why, but I suddenly freak out. Then I quickly turn around to see him, but he’s not there anymore… in that instant, I begin to feel cold.
“You have to move on, bro.” Said one of my brother’s friends.
I look up and my brother’s friends are all around me, because unlike me, he did have other friends. But that’s ok. They always accepted me like one of them and not just to make a favor to my brother; and that’s something weird to find in a group of gryphons of Manehattan.
“…It must have been like 6 years ago.” Then, another one of them talked to me.
“Yeah bro, we don’t like the way it changed you. You’re not yourself anymore.” But I avoid the eye contact with all of them.
“This isn’t healthy for you. You don’t go outside, you don’t talk no more… and you avoid eye contact.” Another one said. I think they know me way too much.
“And you framed your brother’s shirt, just to hang it on your wall… You’re not getting rid of it and you’re not even wearing it. You’re only hurting yourself with it.”
“We all have to move on Joy… sooner or later.”
And that’s exactly what they did. Some of them moved to Cloudsdale, some others went to Fillydelphia, and some of them went all the way to Melenajara in Mexicolt… but not me. I just stayed here on Manehattan, making myself more miserable each day… always staring at that shirt hanging on my wall.
I’m starting to wake up. I think I hear someone talking.
“Now what am I supposed to do? I’m only half the colt that I was. I never last, ‘cos my better half is up there with you…”
I open my eyes a little; just enough to see Plumb Bob, sitting next to the fire, holding something against his chest, I just don’t know that it is.
“…I know we fought like siblings, something we never should do. We coulda used time spent arguing telling the truth… And you had talent too. I had plans for watching you grow. I don’t know what hurts more, seeing you leave, or watching you go.”
I think I heard too much. In that moment seems like Plumb Bob turns to see me, but I quickly close my eyes and pretend to be asleep, but he didn’t continue talking after that.
The next morning, I wake up and look around, but I can’t see Plumb Bob anywhere. Then, he suddenly shows up from behind that giant tree.
(sigh) “Alright! It’s time to move.” He says as he stretches. I try to stand up, but I’m still a little dizzy.
“Don’t you ever sleep? Besides, what are you talking about? We’re on the middle of the woods. Do you have any idea of where to go?”
“There is a road about a quarter mile north. Now, I think we should move fast. I don’t think you wanna know what I just did behind that tree.”
“What!? That’s! …Eugh!” He starts laughing while I start running away from there.
“You’re disgusting!” I say from the distance, but he just laughs. This is incredible… Does He even have a limit?
We’re walking down the trail when two ponies appear on the distance; an aged couple is pulling a cart packed with fruit. Now, I’m hungry; and I can tell that Plumb Bob is also. But I’m starting to notice an evil look on Plumb Bob’s face. That’s when I look to him and slowly say no with my head.
“Don’t even think about it.” He frowns in resignation, but then, something calls our attention. Out of nowhere, two dragons show up and start stealing the fruit from above the cart. The old ponies realize that and quickly turn around.
“Hey! Stop!” But the dragons only look at the couple from above and they start making rude gestures and mocking them; just as usual, coming from two teenage dragons. We hide among the trees and we approach a little to see what’s happening. The dragons are taking dives from the sky and maneuvering as they steal each fruit, one by one. The old couple’s faces seem already resigned to losing all of their cargo; so I turn to Plumb Bob and whisper.
“We need to do something.”
“Not my problem.” He says, while staring at the dragons. This makes me angry, but I guess it’s useless to try to reason him; so I take courage and I walk out the trees to confront these dragons.
“Heeey! Stop what you’re doing, now!” But the dragons ignore me and the old couple simply stares at me, like expecting me to do something.
“If you don’t put that fruit back on the cart, you’re gonna see what’s good!” But nothing… they don’t care about my presence at all.
“I’m warning you!” I say as an ultimatum; and finally, one of the dragons notices me, and he lands in front of me. Maybe he’s a teenager, but he’s like five times my size. And as they both stare at me, he takes one apple from his pile of stolen fruit and slowly put it in his mouth as a way to defy me; and then he finally swallows the apple.
“You’re getting on my nerves boy.” I say, while trying to contain my anger.
“And what you gonna do about it.” Said one of the dragons, in a mocking tone. But I really don’t know what to do against them. In that moment, he opens his mouth and he growls savagely. I’m petrified of fear, as I receive his smelly breath on me. But in the middle of the growl, I kind of hear Plumb Bob’s voice.
“Aaaaahhhhh!” He charges against the dragon and then he jumps straight into his open mouth. And just as I, the old couple and the other dragon are stunned for what we are seeing. Plumb Bob’s legs and flank are popping out the dragon’s mouth, while the rest of him is stuck halfway down his throat. The other dragon is freaked out, and his friend can’t even breathe with a pony on his throat.
“Spit it out dude!”
The other dragon hits him behind the head and he finally spits Plumb Bob out; then the dragon starts coughing uncontrollably. Plumb Bob stands up, partially covered in drool, looking at the two dragons with a defiant look on his eyes.
“I ain’t gonna let you steal one apple.” He says as he raises an apple on his hoof, also covered in drool. The other dragon seems surprised when he sees this.
“Is that the…?” He says as he turns to his friend, but it seems like we really made him angry.
“You’re gonna pay for that.”
Plumb Bob shakes the drool off like a dog and adopts a fighting posture.
“Hey, Joy…” I turn to look at him while I’m shaking in fear.
“…run.”
And he instantly turns around and starts running away. I stay frozen in my position for a couple of seconds, until my legs finally begin to work, so I follow him.
“Get them!”
The dragons start chasing us, with the little inconvenient that they can fly and we cannot. So we get into the woods to try to lose them, but I can almost feel their claws on the back of my neck, so I run faster. I can’t believe a few minutes ago I was weak and starving, but now I’m running like a race horse. I look back, just to see the angrier dragon, smashing trees and anything on his way as he approaches to us.
“This way!” He takes a turn to the left and I follow him to a thick bunch of bushes. He jumps through the bushes and I do the same right after him, but once we’re out of them, Plumb Bob suddenly falls into a hole and disappears in front of me. I don’t have the time to react, so I fall into the hole as well. Inside the hole there is a family of rabbits, staring at us and totally frightened. Then I look up and see the dragons passing by the hole, completely ignoring where we are. Plumb Bob looks at the rabbits and with his hoof on his mouth he tells them to stay quiet.
“Shhh.”
“I think we lost them.” I whisper.
“Maybe, but we need to make sure they’re gone.” Then he looks at one of the rabbits.
“Hey little dude. Would you mind to take a look outside and tell us if there’s any dragon out there?” But the tiny and scared rabbit says no with his head.
“Oh, that’s rude… well, then it seems like we’ll have to hide in here for a little longer.” But as soon as he said that, the bigger rabbit moves quickly and makes his way out of the hole between our bodies and he takes a look outside. Then he looks at me from out there and makes a gesture, telling me that it’s clear.
“It’s ok now.” And then, with a lot of effort, and also with tiny rabbits pushing us from the inside, we manage to get out of the hole.
“Thank you guys… I hope you accept this in exchange for your help.” He shows them the drool covered apple. The family of rabbits shows their repulsion and quickly they all run back to their hole; and Plumb Bob stares at them for one second.
“Well, more for me.” He cleans the apple, rubbing it only a little against his chest and then he takes a bite. This makes me almost puke.
“Oh, excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants!” He says with sarcasm.
It’s been a while, and we kept walking; trying to find any kind of village, or something, also trying to avoid any road where we can find dragons and stuff.
“Hey, thank you for helping me with those dragons. I really thought I couldn’t count on you back there.”
“No biggie.” He says as he drops the leftovers of the apple. Then, we walk in silence for a couple of seconds until he talks.
“Could you stop staring at me?! I know I’m your hero, but this is just awkward!”
“Ok, I’m sorry.” Then I look away.
“By the way, you also shouldn’t pretend to be asleep and stare at other ponies neither.”
“Wha…?”
“Oh, don’t play innocent! I know you were spying on me last night.”
“It wasn’t my fault! I was asleep and you woke me up, and… Who were you talking to, anyway?” He shows a little awkward after of this question; then he only scratches his stubble a little until he talks.
“I like to talk to others while they’re asleep. It almost makes me feel like I’m having a conversation.”
“Oh… right… But you were talking about some pony. Who is it?” I’m maybe getting a little too much into this, but I’m not gonna let it go. This way I may get to see what’s inside this crazy-flank pony’s mind. But he just stays quiet. I think he doesn’t want to talk anymore.
“It was my sister! You happy?” I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting any response.
“You were talking… about your sister?”
“I was talking to my sister! My little sister! And you remind me a lot of her, you know?! Always worrying about other ponies before herself, always showing good manners… and…” He stops talking for a moment and his expression suddenly changes.
“…always telling me what to do… even if I didn’t want to, I always ended up doing it. Because… she knew me better than I knew myself…” He stops walking all of sudden.
“…She was a saint.” And just like that, he continues walking; his face expression goes back to normal and he acts like nothing happened. I keep walking next to him, with a few more concerns about his state of mind.
“Ok…?”
In that moment, my stomach starts growling really loud.
“Uh… my starving.”
“I could eat.”
“You just ate an apple!”
“I’m a big pony, Joy. A really, big, pony. And I need something more than an apple to kill this hunger… something like… that!” He says as he stares and points to a squirrel that is just standing on a bush. He starts drooling while he approaches to his poor victim.
“C’mere little squirrel. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Hey!” I stand in the middle of him and his prey. “What are you doing? Did you completely lose your mind?! Ponies are not supposed to eat other animals!”
“But what if we are? …And what if they are making us think we’re supposed to be vegetarians when we’re not.”
“And who are “they”?”
“We’ll never know… but there’s only one way to prove if they’re wrong.” But before he jumped on that tiny squirrel, she jumps inside the bushes to hide.
“Well done Plumb Bob. You just probably traumatized an innocent creature.”
“How do you know if she’s innocent? What do you know about squirrels anyway?” But in that moment, the same squirrel jumps out of the bushes, carrying a couple of berries, which she’s offering to us.
“What is this?” We both take a berry each one; and Plumb Bob stares at his for a moment and then he outlines a smile. -Wow… I guess I was wrong about you, little buddy. -He says to the squirrel; and then she smiles and makes a reverence, before she starts running and finally disappears into the woods. We both eat the berries, but then I realize there are more of them on that bush and the other bushes around are the same.
“Oh… my… gosh.”
“Now, this is breakfast.”
We ate almost every berry we found until we were completely full. And later, while we were lying on the ground taking a break I started thinking that nature can be really nice sometimes.
“Nature can be really nice sometimes.”
“I miss my sister.” He says all of sudden. I find this a little strange, but… so what?
“Were you two close?” I ask him.
“We were closer than Celestia and her sister… whatever her name is.” And then I suddenly started laughing, but I’m not sure why.
“I mean… I didn’t send her to the moon for a thousand years and stuff. But if I had to… I couldn’t do it! I’m just afraid that if I do it, my hooves will fall off.” In that precise moment I stop laughing, then I realize I’m feeling really dizzy, so I quickly stand up and ask to Plumb Bob.
“Are you feeling dizzy too?”
“I don’t know. I just wanna lie down.” He says as he starts rolling on the ground. But I hold him and help him stand up.
“Quick! What was the first name of Ms. Agate?”
“I don’t know. But I really miss… her… sandwiches! …She made them with love!”
Oh, my… I… I think something’s wrong.
“Listen to me… You just… Try to remember the names of your parents while I think.”
“Nah…! I never really liked them.”
Now I’m thinking… I think I got it.
“The berries! It was the berries!”
“What berries? What are you talking about?”
“The berries that squirrel gave to us. They were hallucinogenic berries! Don’t you see? That squirrel tricked us!”
“That stupid squirrel! Where is it?! She’s gonna pay for this! -He yells as he turns around, looking for the creature.”
“This is your fault!” I yelled at Plumb Bob.
“What did you say?” He asks, acting all dizzy.
“If you hadn’t tried to eat that squirrel, we wouldn’t be on this trouble!”
“Oh! So now is my fault for being hungry?! I’m gonna teach you a lesson, you stupid egghead!”
“My head is not shaped like an egg! …or is it? You know what? Never mind! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to find a river to turn off this fire on my tail.” So I start walking, looking for that river; and Plumb Bob follows me.
“I’m going with you… You know nothing about river trolls.”
And as the minutes passed, my mind started leaving me and my eyes and ears started tricking me. I was shaking in fear in fetal position on the ground, while Plumb Bob was having an argument with a tree.
“Now you shut up tree, I’m talking! You thought I was full of horsebricks and now you bucking worship the ground which I’m walking! Me against the world, so what?!”
When suddenly, a couple of Pegasus wearing spandex uniforms showed up on the sky. They saw us from above, acting all weird and decided to approach to us.
“Are you guys ok?” Said one of the Pegasus in spandex.
“We’re fine, now take off! Don’t you see I’m in the middle of something with this tree?”
“Ok, you’re definitely not fine.”
“The royalty came and took my baby!” I suddenly shouted from the ground. Then, one of the Pegasus approaches to the other and whispers.
“This is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.” He whispered to the other Pegasus.
“I don’t know… I think I have seen this before.” That’s when she sees a few berries stuck on my mane. Then she approaches and takes one to analyze.
“I knew it! You see this?” She shows it to the other Pegasus.
“Yeah?” He says, confused.
“These are tripping berries! We used them to make “space cakes” for the noobs at the academy.”
“Oh, yeah! I remember!”
“Well, at least until the high command forbade them from the academy, and made their use illegal.”
“Yeah… that was a bust.”
“But judging by their behavior, these ponies must have eaten lots of berries.”
“Whoo! They must be flying really high right now!” But the other Pegasus doesn’t seem amused by this joke.
“Come on! We must take them to a hospital. Which one’s the closest?” She asks while she picks me up from the ground and puts me on her back.
“I think it’s the Crystal Empire’s hospital.” He says as he walks under Plumb Bob’s legs and raises him on the air, carrying him on his back. But it takes me a moment to react before they take us to the Crystal Empire.
“Nooo! We just came from there! We need to go to this… other place.”
“Alright. Where are you guys going?”
“P. Sherman Wallaby 42 Sidney!” Plumb Bob said, and then we both started laughing after this. But she doesn’t seem to share our sense of humor, unlike the other Pegasus, whose laughter he can hardly hide. Then I finally control myself and take a deep breath.
“We’re going to this place… with really high towers… Uh… I’m not sure.”
“You mean, Manehattan?” The guy on spandex asked to me.
“Sure, why not?” But I’m really not sure at all.
“But that’s like a million miles away!”
“Oh, don’t be such a baby! Are you saying you can’t make it?” She says in a daring tone.
“Of course I can.”
“Even in less than three hours?”
“Is that a challenge?”
“You know it is.”
“Alright!” Then, they both take their positions as in a race, with me and Plumb Bob on their backs.
“Ready?”
“Set!”
“Gooooo!” Me and Plumb Bob shouted in that moment.
Everything’s turning blurrier. I think I lost sense of time, because suddenly we’re now flying over the city of Manehattan. They take us to a hospital; and then they speak with the doctor while we are lying on our stretchers.
“Thank you guys. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”
“That’s our job.”
“To protect and serve.” And now they were about to leave, but not before I said something stupid.
“You should marry her… you know? …I think she’s the only one who could tolerate your stupidity.”
They both got stunned, petrified and speechless with wide open eyes when I said that.
“Hey… but that’s just… my opinion…” I’m actually not sure why I said that; but then I turn around, falling asleep.
When I wake up, I don’t know what time is it, but it’s dark outside; and I’m still on the hospital’s stretcher next to Plumb Bob, who is playing with what appears to be an imaginary butterfly on his hooves.
“You’re finally up.” Plumb Bob said to me.
“Where are those spandex Pegasus?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been too busy playing with this butterfly here.
“I knew it was a butterfly!” Then he suddenly jumps off the stretch.
“Of course you do, because we’re both geniuses!”
“Yeah we are!” I jump from my stretch too.
“So what do you say if we go out and find some party!”
“Yeah!” I yell really loud, which attracts the attention of everypony around. Then, a doctor shows up.
“Hey, you’re not supposed to be up yet. The effects of the berries will still last a few more hours.” Said the doctor.
“Yeah? Well, go tell that to your mom!”
And we leave the hospital as fast as we can, laughing like crazies, while the doctor only takes a few steps outside the building, with a really sad face. Then a Doctor mare walks out of the hospital and approaches to him, putting a hoof on his back.
“It’s ok son. Let’s go back inside.” Says the doctor’s mom; and then she walks him back to the hospital. Meanwhile we are wandering around the streets, we’re not really calling a lot of attention towards ourselves, after all, the night is young… and this is the huge city of Manehattan.
It’s already morning.
I’m not sure what happened last night, but my head is spinning. I finally open my eyes to find myself on the top of a statue of Celestia, which is holding a balance and with her eyes blindfolded.
“What is this?”
Then I look around and there are lots of other ponies lying around on the floor and all over the place; which appears to be a ball room, and all the ponies here are dressing suits and some of them are using their briefcases as pillows. This entire place is a mess. It seems like some really wild party took place in here… and a really expensive one I think. But then, in the middle of the chaos I see Plumb Bob, sleeping inside a bowl of punch and hugging a judge’s mallet like it was a teddy bear. I don’t know what is happening, but I climb down this statue and approach to Plumb Bob.
“Hey… Plumb Bob. Wake up!” I whisper while I shake him by the shoulders. Then he suddenly wakes up.
“I’m not guilty, your honor!”
But then he rubs his eyes and finally comes back to his senses.
“Whatcha doin’ Joy?”
“Listen to me. We need to get outta here. I don’t know what happened, but I feel like we got into much more troubles.” Then Plumb Bob takes a look around with a funny expression on his face and then he sighs.
“Alright… Come on, help me out of this.” And I pull his hoof to get him out of the bowl, but we both fall to the ground next to a pony sleeping on his briefcase.
“We need to be quiet.” I whisper. And then we begin our silent escape heading to the door, when out of nowhere, some pony speaks to us.
“See you later guys; I can’t wait ‘till we do this again.” We stop when we hear this and we turn around, faking a smile and nodding to this pony in suit… apparently a lawyer. Then we continue with our way out.
“Hey! If you ever need a lawyer, call me!”
“Of course we will! I have your card right here!” He walks backwards as he says that. And finally, we’re out on the street again.
“What was all that about?”
“I have no idea.” Then he checks into his pocket and takes out a tiny presentation card. -Huh… I really do have his card.
And then we walked away from there. But after a few blocks I still can’t put all the pieces together… I can’t remember how we ended up like that.
“The only thing I remember is that I was singing karaoke with that guy Discord… or maybe it was a lamp. What do you remember?”
“I remember that we were chasing a giant pink pillow down the alley. Then I remember you were talking Italian or something to a security pony and he let us in some kind of place… and that’s it.”
I can’t believe what I’ve become. This isn’t the kind of stuff I do.
“…But who cares? We had a lot of fun for what I can remember; besides, no one got hurt and no one got arrested. That’s a winning night to me.”
“I guess so…” Maybe he’s right. Maybe one wild party once in a while isn’t all wrong.
“So. Aren’t you gonna show me this place?” He interrupts my thoughts with that sudden question.
“Excuse me?” I asked.
“You are from Manehattan, aren’t you?”
“How do you know that?”
“You’re a sleep talker. I heard you saying it while we were on the woods.”
“What else did you hear?” I ask to him, kind of worried.
“That’s not important. What I really want to know is in what kind of neighborhood did you grow up?”
“Fine. If you wanna see it, you’ll see it.” I’m going to get this over with and take him to my old neighborhood, so we keep walking for a while, until we turn around one corner and we arrive.
“Here it is. But there’s nothing special about it…”
We both stopped walking when he see the neighborhood, because suddenly, the view turns a little more grayish. There are a couple of carriages parked without their wheels; there are some cracked windows and finally, there’s also a dead tree on the sidewalk to crown all the sadness.
“Wow… -I whisper.”
“Is it that bad?”
“Is just like I remember.” I said with a smile.
“Are you for real?”
“No, really! You see these buildings up here? Here’s where me and my brother used to play catch with his friends. Of course, I couldn’t fly but, I played from the window… Actually, this one time I fell off and my brother caught me just before I hit the ground. I ended up with two broken legs and he broke one and one rib… yeah… good times.” But Plumb Bob stares at me, very confused.
“Oh… my brother was a gryphon by the way… Well, he wasn’t my blood brother… but we grew up together. You know how it is.”
“Yeah, of course.” But he still seems confused. Meanwhile, I don’t know why, but I started heading to the entrance of the building, then Plumb Bob stared at me.
“Where are you going?”
“I just… ah… I just want to check my old apartment, to see if… I just want so check, alright?” Plumb Bob seems unconvinced, but he follows me to the building.
“Alright.” He walked with me all the way to the fifth floor, and once we arrived to the apartment, I knocked at my old door… and it felt weird. I can almost feel like my brother is going to open that door and we’re both going to start laughing to all of this. But my thoughts disappeared when some stranger mare opened that door.
“Can I help you?” She asked, but I remain in silence. Plumb Bob and the lady seem confused when they see me just standing there without saying anything. I think my emotions need a minute before they let me talk.
“Hello?” That’s when Plumb Bob intervenes.
“I’m really sorry, my friend here…”
“Hi. My name is JoySpread…” I interrupted him. “…I used to live here a few years ago and I’m wondering if you have ever seen a shirt, framed between two pieces of glass.”
“I’m not sure about any shirt, but I did find a lot of stuff when I first moved in, and then I put them on a storage. I can give you the address if you want.”
“Thank you. That would really help me.”
“And I think I have the key somewhere, let me check.” She walked into the apartment to look for it. And once I got it, I headed straight to the storage where all my stuff were supposed to be. But there’s something else intriguing me right now. The fact that Plumb Bob is with me at this point; because at first I was the one behind him… just because I didn’t know what else to do. But now he’s the one following me.
We’re finally here. There’s a line of mini storages and I approach to the number the lady gave me, then I start trying to open the padlock with the key in my mouth.
“You can walk around the city if you want; I’m going to be here for a while.” I say to Plumb Bob, with the key in my mouth.
“Yeah, right. Like if you could survive on your own.” I was about to come back at him, but the lock opened in that moment. I stood up and slowly opened the metal curtain, revealing all my precious memories. There are piles of boxes and furniture at the bottom, all covered in dust, but I don’t care about how they look. I walk in, while Plumb Bob just stays outside. All my furniture, all my pictures, all my clothes… everything is in here! But where’s that shirt? I start looking like crazy, ignoring everything else in that instant. I take a dive on my pile of junk, until I finally find it. It’s covered in dust, but it’s still the same… my brother’s shirt. I put it gently in the ground; then I carefully slide the glass out of the wooden frame; and finally, and with even more precaution, I separate the two pieces of glass… I can’t believe I’m holding it once again. Meanwhile, Plumb Bob stares at me from outside the storage like I’m a crazy weirdo; staring at one shirt like it was something. But who cares, this Is something for me! And all of these stuff! They represent everything good that has ever happened to me! And I think it’s time to let him know; so I walk out of the storage, with the shirt on my back.
“Are you done here?”
Then I approach to him in a very aggressive way.
“I’m done with you.”
“Excuse me?” He seems confused, but also angry.
“I just realized that I don’t need anything from you. I’m finally home now.” I say as I point at the storage.
“And now, if you’ll excuse me. I have some clean up to do.” I don’t even see him to the eyes when I say that, because I turn around and I walk straight to the storage and then I close it with so much strength I can’t even hear if he spoke a word… Now I’m finally alone with all my stuff. Everything in here was once used by me and by my brother. Then I walk among these boxes, with the shirt still on my back. I sit down and open one of them; and what’s inside brings me memories. This is the baseball we were playing with the day I fell off the building; and this is a letter my brother sent me when he went to visit his grandma. The envelope is already opened and I take out the letter. But now I remember it… it’s from that time his grandmother died. This was a difficult time for him. He really loved his grandma; but in the middle of his struggle, he found the courage he needed on me. The letter reads as follows:
“Hey lil’ brother. I don’t know how long it has been since we first met; I can only remember that it was that one spring. I knew you were some good quality friend when you came to play with me on the sandbox, even when none of the other ponies around wanted to play with a gryphon. I write this to you to tell you that I really appreciate you; and now that my grandma is gone, you are my only family; and I’m glad about that, you know why? ‘Cos with you, I have all the family that I’ve ever needed, and that I always will. I’m really glad to have you around Joy. P.S. See you at home real soon.”
“Dammit!” I whisper to myself.
“Why did I have to open this letter?” Now I look around me to all these boxes and I feel like a fool… I am a fool.
Plumb Bob is still waiting outside the storage when I open the metal curtain. I approach to him with my head down and my tail between my legs. I stand in front of him, and he just stares at me like asking me if I’m ready to go… I just nod my head in silence. Then we start walking away, leaving the storage with the curtain open, until something makes me stop. Then Plumb Bob stops and turns around.
“I’m stacking up all these stuff, and now my toilet’s clogged… ‘cos I’m taking a lotta things and I’m also backing it all up! But in my head there’s a voice in the back and it hollers, after my life is demolished “I am your lack of a conscience!”
In the moment I yelled this, I rushed against the storage and then I jumped, smashing everything on my way. Plumb Bob stands outside, observing me without saying anything; meanwhile, I continue breaking all my stuff as I shout out loud.
“This is the ringing in my ears! This is the polyps on the back of my tonsils eating my vocal cords after my moaning! This is my time that was almost up but I hadn’t acknowledged; and I wanted to grab some water to swallow it up but this pill was too jagged to swallow!”
Then I start breaking my old vinyl discs.
“Now I’m the bullies I hate, that I became! With every stuff I slaughter one memory is coming back to confront me! This represents everything I take for granted! ‘Cos JoySpread is a pacific citizen, a boring neighbor! But never a stallion!”
Then I continue with my photo albums, which I don’t even want to look at; I just want to destroy them.
“This is all symbolic of you not knowing what you had ‘til it’s gone; ‘cos after all there are no more friends calling your name and it’s ok ‘cos it happened the same with all of them! This is the hindsight to say “I told you so!” These are foreshadows of all the things that are to follow! This is every guilt trip and the baggage I have…!”
I finally walk out the storage towards Plumb Bob, dragging my brother’s old shirt on the ground; then I turn around and we both stare at the place, completely wrecked. Then I hold my brother’s shirt against my chest.
“…Now, as a gather up all my possessions, if there’s anything left to say… but I don’t think so, so it doesn’t matter… I will finally give it a rest.”
It’s about six o’clock and it’s getting late. But before it all fades into black and it’s all over I will try to capture in my mind, my life trashed in a storage; and it feels like magic, ‘cos something that started all tragic, like this shirt, hanging on that portrait, that I used to get tortured. I was trapped in a bottle. Trapped into thoughts, and they were blacker… darker than anything imaginable. And now here goes my first’s steps out the dark, as I put on my last possession left off.
We both remain in silence for a long moment, in front of the line of mini storages, staring at the one opened in front of us.
“I’m proud of you.”
Bob says to me, with complete honesty; and then, I don’t know why… I fell on my knees and started crying, like I hadn’t done in years. Then he puts his hoof on the back of my head while I moan it out… on the middle of this open lot.
It’s getting dark and now we’re heading to the train station.
“Are you sure you want to continue? ‘Cos we could easily find a place to spend the night.”
“No… I can’t. This city brings me back too many memories.”
“Alright. So it’s the train then.”
We arrived to the station; it’s dark and there are not much ponies around, but we noticed something. There’s a wanted sign on the wall, with our pictures on it. We approach only to confirm that we’re officially screwed.
“Look. There’s even a reward for us.” He says as he rips the sign off the wall.
“Oh… what are we gonna do?” Then Plumb Bob takes a look to the train.
“I have an idea.” And then, without a notice, he runs to the train cabin. I follow him, but when I walk inside, I find him chocking the train driver with his hoof on his mouth, which freaks me out.
“What are you doing?!”
“Relax! This isn’t… what it looks like!” He says, while still struggling with the driver, with his hoof on his mouth.
“Stop!” I separate them as soon as I react, but then I notice that the train driver seems dizzy.
“Were you trying to kill him?!”
“You could say I was… tripping out.” When he says that, he shows me one of those tripping berries, which are the reason we are on Manehattan on the first place. Now I’m really confused.
“Where did you get them?”
“I learned that from you.”
“What do you mean?” I say while I try to help the train driver, who is clearly already under the effects of the berry.
“I hid a few ones on my mane, just like you do with the money.”
It’s no use. The driver is going to be hallucinating for a while.
“And what’s your plan?!” I get a little angry; but not much… I’m emotionally exhausted.
“We can’t go back there with the rest of the passengers. They would call the guards. But we can be here as drivers and they won’t know.”
“And do you even know how to drive this thing?”
“Of course. That’s what I do.” He says as he pulls a string and makes the train whistle sound. Then he approaches the window and shouts to the passengers.
“All on board!”
I’m simply stunned. I didn’t even know he was a train driver… As a matter of fact, I don’t know anything about Plumb Bob. But after the last passenger is on board, he starts the engine and the train starts moving.
“Next stop… Canterlot.” He says with a smile.
We ride this crazy train for a long time and Plumb Bob is starting to lose his patience.
“How much is it until Canterlot?”
“I think we’re only half way there.”
“This is ridiculous. Who builds a castle so far away from everything else? That Princess is weird.” He sounds frustrated.
“Actually… The castle was built before the rest of Equestria, you know?” Plumb Bob doesn’t seem amused by my comment, but in that moment, the train driver starts to regain consciousness.
“Hey, Plumb Bob. I think this guy’s about to wake up.” But Plumb Bob only walks on the other direction and takes his head out of the window, apparently thinking.
“Did you hear me?” But after a moment, he turns back to me with a diligent posture. Something I haven’t seen on him until this point.
“Alright Joy. I think I’m going to do things different now… Because now I’m going to give you the options of what should we do.” I don’t know what he’s talking about, but I’m intrigued.
“Ok, I’m listening.”
“Your first option is to wait until the driver wakes up and try to reason with him to let us stay on his train until we get to Canterlot, and then convince him to not turn us to the authorities… which I don’t think we can.”
“That’s… ok, go on.”
“Your second option is to tie this guy up until we get to the most secure city on Equestria; and then hope to no pony notices.” I’m not quite convinced… I don’t think he’s really giving me any option here.
“What else you got.”
“Well, we could also slow down the train and jump from it before he wakes up.” Then he sees the skeptical look on my face.
“But we could also throw out the driver, get dressed as a lady and his child and try to blend among the passengers and then fly away with our magical carpet.”
“Well, in that case…”
The train slows down. Then we both walk to the entrance of the cabin, but before we jump, he turns to me and shouts.
“I knew you’d make the right choice!” And then we jumped out of the movement train and quickly hid on the woods before any pony noticed… So I guess we continue our way on hoof.
This has been an emotionally and physically exhausting day for me, but I don’t know… Plumb Bob seems exhausted too.
“Hey, Plumb Bob. I think we should rest here and continue in the morning.” He stops walking and turns around.
“Ok then.” And as soon as he says those words, he falls to the ground, completely asleep. He didn’t even let me ask him if I had the first night watch; but it’s kind of what I did to him before, so, I guess it’s alright.
“Ok… I’m gonna take the first watch.”
It’s been only an hour… or maybe a few minutes, I don’t know; but my eyes are closing. It’s getting really hard to stay awake. But then I hear a sound. I look around and see a shadow among the trees, approaching here. I try to wake up Plumb Bob as quickly and quiet as possible, but he only turns over and ignores me.
“Come on, Plumb Bob.” I try to wake him up again. But then, one voice surprises me.
“What are you doing here?” The light of a candlelier lantern points at both of us. Then, the mysterious pony approaches a few more steps and I finally see who is behind that lantern. Is an aged pony with all the looks of being a farmer. He stares at us for a long moment before he says anything else.
“What’s wrong with him?” He asks about Plumb Bob, who is just starting to wake up.
“I… I…” I can’t even talk right now.
“What’s going on here?” Plumb Bob asks when he finally wakes up.
“That’s what I would like to know.” This is getting more awkward, so I start talking before any pony else.
“We’re just really tired sir. We didn’t mean to trespass your property.”
“What makes you think this is his property?”
“Shut up!” I said to Plumb Bob.
But the stranger pony stares at us for a few more seconds, making me more feel awkward.
“Ya’ll look pretty bad, you know?” The stranger pony said.
“Yes sir, we know.” I answered.
“Well, come with me. Imma get you somewhere more proper to sleep.” And without waiting for our answer, the mysterious pony starts walking among the woods, expecting us to follow him.
“I don’t think we should trust him.”
“I don’t know… I’m too tired, so I’m gonna give it a shot.” So I start following that pony. Plumb Bob seems to have some suspicious about him, but he walks right behind me.
The path clears up and we arrive to what appears to be a farm. Then the old pony leads us to a huge barn and opens the door.
“You can sleep here tonight.” He remains with the door open, staring at us for a moment until we walk in.
“Thank you so much for this.”
“Yeah… whatever.” We say to the pony as we walk into the barn.
“Just be careful with my rocks.” That’s when I look inside the barn. There are hundreds of rocks piled up, of all sizes and colors.
“Have a good night… and stay away from my daughters.” He closes the door right after saying that.
“What do you think he meant by that?”
“I don’t know…” He says as he stretches, then he takes one small rock, puts it on the ground and uses it as a pillow. “…but that’s the first thing I’m gonna do when I wake up… look for his daughters.” And he falls asleep… I wish I knew how to do that so fast.
The next morning we met the old farmer outside the barn; and now he’s explaining to us something he knows.
“Well, if you’re going to Canterlot, I don’t recommend you to go on hoof. ‘Cos according to the weather report, there’s an emergency storm programmed for today at sundown. And it will cover up all this area and all the way to Canterlot. That’s why I’m shutting down my entire farm and protecting the windows until the storm passes.”
“Do you think there’s any chance we can make it to Canterlot before the storm? Considering that we’re going on hoof.”
“Well, only if ya’ll consider yourselves fast.”
This is bad. Plumb Bob and I remain in silence with our worried expressions, trying to figure out what to do now. But I think the farmed realized that.
“You know. You can stay on the barn for another night if you want.” To hear that is a huge relief.
“Thank you sir.” I said.
“Yeah, I wish we know how to pay you for this.” Plumb Bob said.
“Actually, I think we can.”
“It was only an expression.” He says with some anger on his voice.
“Come on. The least thing we can do is to help him with the windows and stuff.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Then he turns around and starts walking. “Come on here. I’m gonna give you some tools.”
Later that morning, we were working on the windows of the farmer’s house; right now we’re on the second floor window, blocking it with some draws. Plumb Bob is holding them while I use the hammer with my mouth. But after a few hits, I notice something falls off Plumb Bob’s ear; like a tiny piece of paper. But I manage to catch it before it goes too far. We’re in the top of a ladder after all.
“Why did you stop?” He says to me, but I’m distracted, observing what’s on my hoof, which is a picture of a young mare about my age. In that instant, Plumb Bob rages and with a furious move he rakes it from my hoof, almost pushing me off the ladder.
“Give it back!”
“I… I’m sorry. It fell of your ear, and I…” He cleans the picture with extreme care.
“It doesn’t belong to you.” He says, with a still angry voice.
“I’m sorry… but why was that inside your ear?”
“That’s where I keep it.” He says, as he puts it back in there. “…That’s why I always keep my ears clean.”
And then, just like that, he continues holding the draw so I can nail it to the frame of the window. Now I’m highly intrigued, but I keep working until we finish with all the second floor windows; and after that, we continue with the lower ones.
“So… who is that mare in the picture?”
Plumb Bob seems unhappy about my question and he seems to ignore me for a moment; but right when I thought he was going to forget about my question, he started talking.
“She was my sister.”
That’s when I look at him, really surprised… I think he shared something about his sister after we escaped those dragons; but everything turned blurry after we ate those berries.
“She seems nice.” I say while I pick up the hammer with my mouth.
“She totally was…” In that moment, something about his expression changed. I think I can perceive some feelings on him. Then he picks up a draw from the floor and holds it against the window; and I start nailing it while he continues talking.
“I left my home when I was about your age, you know? I just didn’t get along with my parents. But if there was somepony I did get along with, it was my little sister…”
I stop working to listen what he has to say. I think I really want to hear this.
“She left home with me when she was a baby, just to stay on my side; and I have to say, if she hadn’t done that, I would have returned in a couple of days. And I think I would have gone jail more than once if it wasn’t for her, but she always kept me on the right path.
After a while I got a job as a train driver… And it was nice, since we didn’t like to stay on the same place for a long time. Then we won the Equestrian lottery…”
“You said what?” I interrupted him.
“Which part you mean?”
“Did you win the Equestrian lottery? How’s that possible?” I’m completely skeptical.
“We just, bought a ticket… and we won. What’s so impossible about that?” I don’t know if he’s trying to fool me, but it doesn’t matter.
“Ok… go on.”
“Alright; as I was telling you… We won the Equestrian lottery, but neither of us really cared about the money and stuff like that; so we kept it on a bank account and we never really used it.
After a while she got a job as an assistant at this huge hotel in Las Pegasus; and it was ok and all, but I didn’t get to see her very often… I always had to keep the train moving.
But one day it finally happened… I got fired for some stupid argument with my boss. I hadn’t seen my little sister in almost two weeks at that moment, so I went to visit her. I thought it would be good for me… but I wasn’t expecting what happened next.
When I arrived to the hotel on Las Pegasus I asked for my sister, but then, some stupid flank-hole came to me before the receptionist could tell me; and you know what he said to me?
“What do you need?”
So I talked to him like a civilized pony.
“I’m sorry! Was I talking to you?! Now get lost!”
But then he called security; so I asked him:
“Who do you think you are?!”
But he didn’t answer me. So I turned back to the receptionist and I asked her again:
“Where can I find Glare?”
In that moment he grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me over. Can you believe that?! He dared to touch me! I was already angry when I arrived, but I just couldn’t stand it no more when he pronounced those words…
“What business do you have with my fiancée?!”
Just try to imagine what happened next. I don’t know in what point I ended up fighting with the security guards, but I was totally kicking their butts. It was going ok, but I had to stop when she showed up. Then I did what I always did when I got in troubles; I tried to grab my little sister and take off. But she refused… Instead of standing on my side, she went to help that stupid flank-hole I just beat up. After that, I had to spend the night in jail, until my sister paid my bail; and then we had a talk.
She told me that I was out of control and stuff like that. But also, she told me that she had met a “nice pony” at work… but I didn’t really get the details after she said that… my mind was racing. Then she started saying all these things about how she wanted to change her life; because suddenly she grew all these feelings about living on a house and getting married… But I didn’t even know what to say to her at that point. I felt like everything was falling apart… like I was on a nightmare and I couldn’t wake up. But I didn’t want to get mad at my little sister…
“I have to go now.”
It’s the only thing I told her; and then I walked away without looking back… but ’til this day, I can still feel her hoof, trying to stop me from leaving, like she did that day…
…After that I became a hobo for like two years, in which I didn’t see my little sister at all. I was always changing jobs and changing towns. Until one day I found myself as a trash collector on a small village; and for some reason, I started walking to Las Pegasus. And I kept going and going all the way, even on the desert, pulling a cart full of garbage.
When I arrived to Las Pegasus, every pony around was staring at me with disgust. I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t eaten in days or even drank a drop of water; and I was also smelly and covered in rotting garbage and…”
“Ok, ok. You don’t have to be so specific.” I interrupted him. Then he stared at me with anger for a moment and then he continued.
“…Well. I went to the hotel to ask for her, but they told me that she didn’t work there anymore.
I was devastated… and I didn’t know what else to do with myself; so I started living on the streets; asking for money on the corners of the casinos, eating garbage out of the containers most of the time and sharing a bed under the bridge with a bunch of homeless ponies… But they took good care of me in that time.
They told me where I should go if I got cold at nights; they told me where to find the cheapest tacos in Las Pegasus; and once in awhile, we gathered all the money we could get and we took it to any casino to try to double it on the black jack table. We used to lose almost every time… but when we did win, we had the best celebrations that Las Pegasus has ever seen.
My life was starting to make sense once again… until one day I was asking for money on a corner… and I saw him. It was that stupid flank-hole who stole my sister. He was walking on the sidewalk with two children. But I didn’t recognize him at first; he just threw a coin at my can and continued walking like any other pony; but then, one of his children stopped and stared at me; then his father turned to call him.
“Come on Bob.”
I thought it was funny that this child was called like me, so I talked to him.
“Listen to your father boy… My name’s Bob too; and look how I ended up.”
But the child didn’t leave. He just said:
“Nice to meet you, Bob.”
And that’s when the father approached, staring at me like I was a freak.
“Excuse me. Did you say your name is Bob?”
“Yes. Who’s asking?”
But when I looked up, he had a familiar face; and that’s when we both asked at the same time:
“Do I know you?”
Then I think we both finally found out who the other was at the same exact moment, because he stepped backwards and I stood up in that second. And he was all like:
“Bob, stay back!”
“Are you talking to me, or are you talking to your son?”
“So, is it really you?”
But it that moment, I put the pieces together; so I had to ask him:
“You better tell me who is the mother of these children?!”
“Take it easy. I don’t wanna fight with you. I’m gonna take you to Glare; but first, you need a shower.”
So he took me to some stupid spa, where the employees didn’t even want to get near to me, but they had to, because Flank-hole gave them a huge tip. But anyway… during this whole process he explained to me that now I had two nephews and that my sister had gotten sick almost since the moment I left; and he couldn’t have used a worse time to tell me that, because in that moment I kicked away the hooficure pony and demanded him to take me to my sister.
When we arrived to their house, everything was dark; there was only one light on and it was on my sister’s room. Then I approached where she was.
“How did the kids do on the dentist?”
But she couldn’t see me yet, so she thought I was Flank-hole. But when I walked into her room, we both had the same reaction. No one said a single word. She was lying in bed; there was an oxygen tank next to her; and that’s when I realized it was way worse than what he told me. I’m sure she tried to get up, but it was impossible for her, so I instantly went to hug her.
It was… I mean…”
Plumb Bob is having some troubles to continue.
“It’s alright. Take your time.”
(deep breath) “Alright… I’m ok.” Then he continued.
“It turned out, my sister was terminal… Terminal! And she could have got better if she had those expensive treatments that she couldn’t afford. But she never mentioned to anyone about the million bits we had on that bank account, can you believe it?!
I asked her why she did that, and she told me that she didn’t have the right to spend any of that money, because it was ours and not only hers… I was incredibly angry at that moment, but this time I wasn’t going to leave my little sister, so I stayed on her house and slept on her couch during the next few days.
Until it finally happened; one spring morning she said goodbye to all of us… me, her children and Flank-hole… And the last words she told me:
“Now the rest is up to you… you will know what’s best… you are my legacy.”
Everything was silence around the house after that day. I stayed there for a while after that, but then I had to go; but not before I told the kids that uncle Bob would always have their backs; and I guess I also ended up things right with Flank-hole.
After I left, I took a cab and I told the driver to take me as far as he could, so he took me to Ponyville. And then I slept in front of the bank until they opened the morning; and I tried to withdraw all the money from my bank account… I’m not really sure why; but they told me that Ponyville’s bank didn’t have such amount of bits; and they told me that they could only give me ten thousand bits as a limit. So you know, I got mad and… I robbed the bank.”
I’m astonished.
“And I think you know the rest of the story.”
“So you’re telling me, that’s how you ended up being chased by those guards?”
“I know, right? And the funny part is that I stole my own money.”
“Unbelievable.” I don’t even know what to think about it. But in that moment, the farmer showed up.
“Did you finish those windows?” He asked to us from the distance.
“Oh… right.” We completely forgot about it, so we continued working.
After a while, we were done with blocking the windows and taking all the precautions before the storm arrived. But at that point, none of us cared about the storm no more, so we decided to take the road and try our chances.
“Good luck fellows!” He and his daughters said goodbye to us, but they also started talking about us after we left… they talked in a very boring tone.
“The tall one is handsome.” Said one of the farm mares.
“But he’s old.” She answered.
“I didn’t say he was handsome for me; but he’s probably handsome for someone.” She says with no apparent emotions at all.
And we continued with our way; with that feeling like I’m carrying with a lot less weight than when I started; and I’m having the sense that Plumb Bob feels the same.
“Do you know who I blame for all these stuff?” Plumb Bob asked to me.
“Who?”
“Celestia. If she was really good at her job, we wouldn’t have such horrible lifes.” I laugh at this.
“I’m pretty sure she’s watching you right now.”
“Well, if she is… Thanks a lot Princess! You pushed us to the limits!” He yells to the air and I do the same.
“Yeah, thanks a lot for doing nothing!”
“I hope you choke on your tiara!” We continued laughing so hard and making jokes about Princess Celestia that I think if she was really hearing us, she would be extremely angry.
After a while, we have already walked a long way. I can see storm clouds at the distance, but I don’t think Canterlot is too far away; and we’re not even tired at all. But now I’m starting to reconsider about this shirt.
“You know what? I don’t feel like I’ve really moved on… At least, not until I get rid of this shirt.” I stop walking and I stare at the shirt I’m wearing.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean; I really did give a big step by destroying all my other stuff, but it all means nothing if I’m still attached to the most important one.”
“And what are you planning to do?” He asks to me, while I’m walking around, picking up some wood. Then I put them all together and I start to make a fire.
“I’m gonna get over this, once and for all.” I say while still rubbing the wood, until some smoke appears and I start blowing it. Then the fire turns on and I stand up, take off my brother’s shirt and hold it in my hoof, in front of the fire.
“My brother is resting in peace, but now is time for me to do it so… If not, I will never have a life.” Then I throw the shirt to the fire and I watch it burn, but suddenly, Plumb Bob’s sister picture is thrown to the fire too. This surprises me, so I turn around and see Plumb Bob, holding his hoof on the air, because he just threw the last picture he had of his sister to the fire. I stare at him for a moment. This really confuses me as much as it surprises me.
“Why did you do that?”
“Well, you started saying all this stuff about move on; and I figured that I haven’t moved on yet… But now it’s done.”
“But I didn’t… I just…”
“Look, I didn’t want to do it, but maybe is for the best.” I’m a little chocked; but sure there’s nothing I can do about it. So now we just stay there until our memories finally get consumed by the fire and then we move on.
“Come on Joy… We have to move.” He says in a very depressing tone and then he continues walking. Then I walk next to him to talk.
“Are you sure you are ok? You didn’t have to do that if you didn’t want it.”
“Well, I did it, so who cares?!”
“Wow, relax. It’s ok. What happened back there already happened.”
“Yeah, but it happened because of you.” He seems to be containing his anger.
“Me?” I think he’s about to explode, but right before doing it, I think he managed to control himself.
“I need a minute, I need it now.” Then he turned around and walked away a few steps. He remained there for several minutes, so I decided to respect his privacy and give him all the time he needs. It’s clear that he wasn’t ready to move on yet… but if he doesn’t hurry the storm will be upon our heads in no time. But suddenly, he approached to me with a weird look on his face.
“Tell me Joy; what is wrong with you?” He said all of sudden.
“Excuse me?” This really took me by surprise.
“Why does everypony around you has to be so miserable?”
“I… I don’t…”
“Is it because you wanted to put an end to your own life?”
“What are you talking about? Why do you blame this on me?!”
“Of course I blame you! You were the one talking about moving on and getting rid of what’s holding you back; and if I hadn’t done it, I would look like an idiot for sticking to my only possession!”
“Hey, unlike you did to me on the Crystal Empire, I didn’t force you to do anything! It’s like your sister said: “It’s up to you”.” But as soon as I said that, he lowered his head and started breathing heavily.
“Don’t you dare to talk about my sister.” I think he’s about to explode.
“I’m just saying…” But he approaches to me on a very threatening way.
“Don’t you ever, talk about my sister!”
“Hey! What’s wrong with you?”
“What’s wrong with you?! I don’t know how did your brother put up with you?! …Oh, I’m sorry. I mean, your step brother.” He says with irony. I think this is getting a little more personal.
“Listen to me, if I can’t talk about your sister, you cannot mention my brother, is that clear?”
“Oh, if you don’t like it, go cry over your brother’s grave.” He crossed the line this time… My brain is going crazy; and I’m not sure of what words I’m about to pronounce, but my mouth starts moving before I even think about it.
“Well, at least I didn’t abandon him until it was too late… At least he died having a good brother.”
I think that was the breaking point; because I can tell it by the look on his eyes… one hell of a fight is about to take place right now. We are sick of each other, even we have just found out that we have more in common than we could possibly imagine.
There is a deadly silence, but it only lasts an instant; because I throw the first hit to Bob’s face; then he answers with another… and then we engage in a furious combat. In just a matter of seconds there is blood spreading all over, and I don’t know who is it from, but I don’t care. Bob throws me against a tree and starts punching me wildly on the face. I’m disoriented, but I manage to connect an uppercut right on Bob’s chin to make him loose his balance. In that moment, I take a look at Bob on the ground and I take the opportunity to start kicking him in a savage way over and over while he can’t get up; but suddenly, and without I notice, Bob picks a big and heavy rock from the ground and throws it to my head; the sound of the impact is so loud it can be heard from a long distance.
Once again, there is a deadly silence. I stagger for a moment, until my legs give up and I fall to the ground, unconscious. Bob observes me for a moment, lying on the ground, next to me. He outlines a smile and then he passes out.
Several hours later, it’s about sundown and I open my eyes, but I just can’t move… I can’t feel my body at all. Then I begin to remember everything that happened… and it all seems like a dream; a dream that started as a nice normal colt on Ponyville, going from there to rock bottom in only a few days. I can remember everything, every last moment until that rock hitting my head; and in that very instant, an incredible pain takes over my entire body. I can feel every injury from my hoofs to my head; then I turn to see the rock that knocked me out… and it’s still there; stained with my blood. Here… next to my head; but then I remind the guy who threw it. With a lot of pain in every inch of my body, I manage to sit and take a look at Bob, who is still unconscious… still laying on the ground. Then I stand up with shaking legs. I have troubles to stay on my hooves, but I manage to walk a few steps away from Bob and contemplate at the sky. The dark clouds are already over our heads; there are bright lightnings and loud thunders coming from the distance. In only a few minutes we will be in the middle of the storm.
Suddenly, Bob opens his eyes, just to see me standing and staring at the sky. He looks up and sees the storm clouds; then he tries to stand up, failing a couple of times as he whispers to himself.
“We’re screwed.”
When he manages to stand up, he looks at me; and I turn to see him, but after a quick eye contact, we both lower our heads, incapable of seeing each other. And then, without uttering a single word, I begin to walk. Then Bob looks at me; and after several seconds, he follows me.
There is not much to expect for both of us right now; as we are heading weakly and slowly to the city of Canterlot; with the storm over our heads and injuries on our bodies. We are going to the same place, trying to walk as far as possible from each other. This time, there’s no conversation… this time, each one is completely alone.
The first drops of rain began to fall and the wind increased. Canterlot is only a few miles away and it can be seen to the distance, up the big mountain. But suddenly, I hear the sound of glass bottles, clinking against each other coming from the middle of the forest. There is a clear path that leads to a very tiny and rustic shack to the distance; and by rustic I mean poorly built; with some casseroles placed on the porch and also a few glass bottles tied up that are hanging and producing that clinking noise I hear. I turn a little to see Bob; and he’s staring at the shack. We are both thinking of the same thing. Maybe it isn’t the best place to stay during a storm, but at least we had the lucky to find something at this moment, right?
It starts raining while we limp our way to the shack. That fight… the injuries are now hitting back. Neither of us can walk any faster. The storm is getting stronger, and salvation seems too far away. But no matter what, our stupid pride is bigger than anything else. We are walking on the same path but on different sides of it, trying not to look weak or even glance to each other.
The storm hits us in an instant; with furious rage, like it’s a punishment. The rain is completely horizontal; with a powerful wind striking us frontwards, making it harder to walk and even to stay on balance… But despites all of that, we finally reach the front door of that tiny shack; and when Bob opens it, everything is dark inside; but then, the outside light shows a little filly as he opens the door. She’s curled up with a blanket in the middle of the room. She looks scared when she first sees us; two strangers, stained with blood, completely messed up, walking inside from a raging storm. She suddenly panics and covers her face with her blanket. I’m astonished. How did this little girl ended up here, this far inside the woods?
Bob closes the door and turns to see the little filly. She’s shaking inside her blanket, but then she takes a peek to look to us; and then she immediately sees we’re not a threat; instead, I can almost feel she pities us. But despites everything, she doesn’t move at all. I walk one step inside and she shrinks. I think she doesn’t trust us… and I don’t blame her.
“It’s ok.” I said to the little filly.
Then, Bob limps to the corner and drops himself to the ground, with his back against the wall… The wall… I think I need a break too.
“We only need a place to stay… you know… during the storm and stuff…”
I’ll try not to bother this little filly anymore, so I decide to throw myself next to Bob to give her some space free of strangers; but she doesn’t move a muscle; only to keep an eye on us.
The storm is getting worse, and the wind is getting stronger. This tiny shack won’t take it much longer. In that moment, one of the tiny windows breaks and the little filly screams. Then we start to hear some loud noises, like rocks and stuff, hitting these thin walls from the outside. The little filly seems frightened, so much she even forgets we’re those scary strangers, because she suddenly runs to our corner and curls up between the two of us. Me and Bob look at the little filly and then to each other. But in that moment, the roof starts trembling and then it’s violently ripped off by the strong wind… The entire roof is gone, and there’s nothing to protect us from the water and the wind, or any other stuff that can be thrown upon us; but the little filly is scared, and we have to protect her. So we put ourselves between her and the storm, covering her with our heads and our bodies, trying to hold on… until the storm ends.
The next morning; at the entrance of Canterlot. There’s an hysterical mom talking to a couple of guards.
“You have to do something! My girl is out there since yesterday!”
“We’re already doing everything we can. We have all the Pegasus guards searching the entire area.” Said one of the Canterlot guards.
“There’s nothing we could do during the storm, ma’am.” Said the other guard.
“My baby was alone out there during the storm!” The mom shouted.
The guards are trying to calm down the hysterical mom, without noticing that we were approaching on the distance; me, Plumb Bob and the little filly. She’s riding on my back while we approach to the entrance of Canterlot; and the three of us are completely wet, our manes are a mess, in addition to all the injuries and stuff that me and Bob already had.
“And what were you doing alone out there?” I asked to the little filly.
“That’s where I go when I fight with my mom.”
“And who built that shack?” Bob asked to her.
“I did it!”
“Well, you have talent for your age. Maybe I can help you build a better one.”
“Really?!”
“Of course…!”
“But, not for you to hide after you have an argument with your mom. Ok?” I interrupted.
“Ok.” She said. Then Bob rubs her head with his hoof.
“That’s nice.” Bob said. In that moment, the little filly notices her mom is right there.
“Mom!” And in that moment, the mom hears the voice of her little filly while she approaches.
“My baby!” And she runs to hug her.
“Mom, I’m sorry!”
“It’s ok darling. I’m not mad at you.” We stop right there, a few steps away, watching this priceless scene with a smile on our faces. But then the two guards approach to me and Bob.
“Congratulations to the two of you. You have done something really brave by rescuing that girl.” But we both suddenly feel threatened by being in front of the authorities.
“Yeah, of course.” I say with nervous voice.
“We were only doing our citizen duty.” Bob said.
“It’s incredible what you have done today. I think the two of you deserve a medal.” Said the other guard.
“It’s not necessary, really.” But in that moment, the mom of the little filly approaches to us, while holding really tight to her child.
“Thank you! Thank you so much for bringing me my baby! If something would have happened to her…” But then she gets a little emotional while talking.
“I think you should come on with us. We’re going to take you to the Princess, so she can know about your heroic feat.” This is wrong. We cannot go to the Canterlot Castle. It would be the worst place to be for the two of us right now. But then, Bob comes up with an idea.
“It would be nice and all, but first, I think we could use some rest.” He says to the guards as he points at the two of us, so the guards can realize how messed up we look right now.
“Oh, of course. Well, in that case…” But then, the other guard talked.
“We could take you to the station. You can use our showers and have some food there.” I guess I was wrong. The Canterlot guard station Is the worst place we could be right now. But if it couldn’t get any worse, another guard passes by and he suddenly stares at me and Bob, like if he recognized us. Then he approaches to us.
“Wait a minute. I think I know these two ponies.”
“Really? From where?” We’re getting really nervous right now.
“I’m not sure. Let me check my book.” Then he takes out a notebook with pictures of the most wanted; and who woulda thought, we’re the most wanted ponies in Equestria. In that moment, he shows his notebook to the other guards and starts arguing with them in private; meanwhile, Bob and I are getting more and more nervous.
“Are you sure is them?”
“Definitely.”
“I don’t know; these drawings seem a little sketchy to me.” But then, Bob starts moving slowly while they are distracted, then he makes me a sign to follow him. The guards are too busy trying to figure out if it’s really us on those pictures; the hysterical mom and the little filly are just standing there, very confused about all of this; and on the meantime, me and Plumb Bob are slowly and quietly making our escape. But it all fell apart when one of them looked up from the book.
“Hey, where are you going?” He caught us while we were trying to leave, and then the other guard reacted really violent.
“It’s them! They’re trying to escape!” In that moment we started running. “Get them!”
We ran really fast, leaving the guards, the mom and the little filly behind; and before we noticed, we had already lost them, so we tried to blend with the crowd, keeping a low profile and walking slow. But then we saw one of the guards a few blocks away, looking for us. Then we headed to the next intersection, but there was another one of them, right there. So the chase started once again.
We took a shortcut through an alley, but suddenly; one of the guard’s appeared at the end of the alley, blocking our way out. Plumb Bob gained some speed and then he rammed against the guard, throwing him to the ground. I had to jump over the fallen guard and then make a quick turn to the left, which almost makes me fall, but Bob grabbed me before I did.
Once out of the alley, we are running along one of the main streets of Canterlot. There are ponies all over the side walk, but no one on the street. They are all avoiding us with fear. That’s when Bob grabbed one of the umbrellas placed on one of those fancy cafes and threw it over the street, even with the table attached to it; making an obstacle for the guards behind us. But those guards have years of training, and we’re just two very injured and tired earth ponies… because in that moment, one of my legs just gave up when I stepped on a tiny rock, and I fell to the ground, bouncing a couple of times because of the speed I had. When I finally stopped bouncing, I managed to see Bob for one instant, running away from me; and then I turned to see the three guards, approaching towards me in full gallop speed… and this is it. I only stay on the ground as they get closer and closer… But then, Plumb Bob passes by next to me, straight against those guards; and with a battle cry, he hits one of them in the face with his hoof. Then he continues with the same speed and strikes the second one with his head; and I can’t believe what I’m watching… instead of running away, as always… he’s fighting for me against three Canterlot guards… while I am here, lying on the floor. Then, one of the guards pounces on Bob and holds him from behind; another one is about to start punching him, but Bob hits him with his head, right between his eyes, knocking him out. Right now there’s one only guard left who holds Bob’s back, not letting him go. But now Bob is starting to get tired; he’s about to lose the battle, when I arrive out of nowhere and strike the last guard right on the face. Bob is finally released, but I can’t run anymore; not because of my leg. Then Bob holds me before I fall; then I put my leg around his neck and he helps me walk.
“Come on Joy. We almost make it.” He says as we limp out of the street, without even taking a glance of where we’re heading. That’s when we hear to sound of dozens of hooves hitting the floor and we look up. Without noticing, we’re right in front of the principal stairs of the Canterlot Castle; and there are lots of guars pointing at us with their spears from above. After seeing this, we quickly turn around, but there are more guards from where we came from… now we’re surrounded. Bob is completely desperate, looking all around, trying to find any escape, but there’s nowhere to go. Besides, he’s carrying me as a dead weight.
But in that moment, Canterlot’s Castle gates begin to open. We turn around to look, and we see Princess Celestia, walking out of the gates. She takes a few steps and then she stops, staring at us… There is a couple of endless seconds in complete silence after that.
“It’s over, Bob.”
“No, it’s not.” Then he suddenly grabs me by the neck and holds me like I was his hostage.
“Stay away! All of you! Or he is going to pay the price!” He shouts at the crowd of guards and the Princess. Then they all adopt a fighting position and point their spears at Bob.
“What are you doing?!”
“Don’t worry, Joy. We’re getting out of this.” He says, with hard breathing.
“Bob, the Princess is here! There’s no escape!”
Bob turns to see Princess Celestia, standing on the same place. Then he takes a deep breath and calms down a little.
“Then at least… I’m gonna get you out of this.” I think I know what he’s thinking.
“Don’t do it Bob… Nooo!”
In that moment he throws me to the ground and starts running against the line of guards. He jumps against them, hitting the first one in the face. Then he starts fighting them all, but it doesn’t lasts much longer until they finally take him down.
I manage to stand up and walk a few steps towards the multitude of guards, which is now holding Bob against the ground.
“Let him go!” Then one of the guards turns to see me and points at me.
“He’s the accomplice!” And then, a bunch of guards jumps on me, holding me down.
“Leave him alone! He has done nothing! He was my hostage!” He yells while they put him on hoofcuffs.
“No, I wasn’t!”
“Yes, you were! He’s innocent!”
“No, I’m not!” But in that moment, the Princess intervenes.
“Enough!” She shouted really loud.
We both stay quiet and the guards stop moving, just before they put me on any hoofcuffs. Then, Celestia approaches to us.
“Release him. I want him to explain me everything.” As soon as she said those words, the guards let me go. And now I’m standing here, in front of the Princess… and she’s waiting for an explanation; while Plumb Bob is being held by several guards.
“Now, talk to me.” The Princess said to me.
“Alright… This is what happened…”
I turn to look at Plumb Bob, and then at the Princess.
“I’m as guilty of any of the charges as he is.”
“That’s not true! You didn’t do anything wrong! And if you did, it was because of me!”
“If that was true, then why did I not leave when I had the chance?”
“Don’t do this Joy… Don’t throw your life like I did.”
“I have no life to throw now… ‘cos now I’m starting over.” Then I turn back to the Princess and I talk to her with all confidence.
“I need to be put away from the streets as well.” Then I show her my hooves, expecting for some pony to arrest me; but when one of the guards was about to put me on hoofcuffs, she stopped him with only a gesture of her hoof.
“I can see you are a good friend; and I can see that you are trying to show your face for him… But I’m also sure that you haven’t done anything wrong by your own.”
“But…”
“Right now, there’s nothing I can do for your friend.” Then she makes a gesture with her hoof and the guards start taking away Bob.
“But… but…”
“If you want to do something to help your friend, you will have to give your declaration to the authorities. But for now, he is going to jail.” Plumb Bob smiles at me as they take him away; and right now I’m completely shocked… I’m speechless. This isn’t how it was supposed to end; even if I didn’t know what would come next… but I know the way to make things right.
The princess turns around and starts walking away, until I talk to her.
“I have a better idea, Princess…” Then she turns around and sees me, with surprise on her face.
“…I’ll trade you my friend’s freedom… for your crown.” Then I lift the Princess’s crown on my hoof in the air. That’s when she realizes it’s not on her head anymore. All the guards turn around, surprised when they hear me say this; and even Plumb Bob is astonished.
“What do you say, Princess?” No pony has any idea of how I took the crown without the Princess even noticed; but Plumb Bob outlines a huge smile.
“Oh, you gotta teach me how to do that!”
Then I look at the Princess to the eyes and I drop the crown to the ground.
“I’m sorry.”
The Princess stares at me for a moment, with a disappointment face.
“And I’m sorry for you.”
Then, half a dozen of guards start holding me and finally put me on those hooofcuffs. After that, they start taking us away from the Castle. The Princess turns around, and before she starts walking, she gives an order to their soldiers, before they take us out of there.
“Put them on the same cell.” She says without looking back; and then she leaves, with that elegant way of walking that distinguishes her.
“As you wish, your majesty.”
Plumb Bob and I are dragged away by a huge multitude of guards, attracting the attention of practically every pony on Canterlot; and as they take us to our prison, we look at each other, with a smile on our faces.
And now… we’re finally locked. We are inside the same cell, just as the Princess ordered; and now we have nothing else but time ahead of us.
“Well, it finally happened… Something inside me always told me that I was going to end up here.”
“Relax Bob; it’s only ten years. Besides, we can go out earlier if we have good behavior.”
“Then it’s official… I’m never getting out of here.” Then we both laugh very loud inside our cell… I think I can finally appreciate the irony of all of this; until a prison guard yells at us.
“Shut up! Both of you!”
“And what you gonna do?! Send us to jail?” He says with irony; and I can’t help but laugh at this.
“You better shut up, or I’ll remove your privileges!”
“Privileges?! Like what? A toilet?” Bob said.
“Like visitors!”
“But who’s gonna visit us anyway?” I asked to the guard; but in that moment, Ms. Agate walks down the aisle, towards our cell; and the prison guard leaves.
“Ms. Agate?!” We both shouted at the same time.
She sees us for a moment, from outside the prison bars.
“Ms. Agate… How… how did you find us?” I asked to her.
“Oh, guys. Your faces are all over Equestria on wanted signs… But now tell me boys; in what kind of trouble did you get into?”
Neither of us has an explanation for her; we only lower our heads in shame and we answer at the same time.
“…We’re sorry.”
Meanwhile, outside the prison; there’s one pony who's still unhappy, and who thinks we deserve a much worse punishment… Fancy Pants is walking in circles on his giant living room, while his elegant wife observes him.
“Don’t worry darling. They are already on jail.” She said to his hysterical husband, but he continues babbling curses and walking in circles until he talks to her.
“No, my dear! That’s not good enough for me!” Then he approaches to his balcony; and then he stares at the sky, with a very furious look on his eyes.
“…They are going to pay for what they did to me.”
