Celestia Gets Drunk

by Marozia

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sex, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia
Length: 1047

A heavily inebriated Princess of the Sun spills out her drunken worries onto her hapless former student, Twilight Sparkle.

Princess Celestia is tired. And very bored. Her job is hard and mostly thankless, and what's an overworked Princess to do when they can't take anymore?

Drink. Drink a lot. Unfortunately, Celestia neglected to remember that her former student Twilight Sparkle was visiting the castle that night on business, and soon the young Princess comes face with her revered mentor in circumstances that she never imagined.

Published 2015-01-06 21:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-06 21:40:02 UTC

Eternal Sunshine

"M-more, your Majesty?"

The young servant mare stuttered a bit at the sight of Equestria's glorious Sun Princess sprawled out across her bed, her mare parts plainly visible for all to see. Her magnificent mane was dirty and disheveled, her eyes bloodshot and darting across the room in the manner of a puppy following a laser pointer.

Celestia let out a horrendous belch and rubbed her belly with grotesque pleasure. Slowly, she began to speak in a heavily slurred manner that was barely even comprehensible to the poor servant.

"Yesss, more. I must simply have more of that moonshine!"

The servant nodded meekly and quickly left the room. Celestia sighed in relief, as she had been feeling an urge she had not felt in many years. It was unbecoming of a royal Princess to indulge themselves in such a manner, but in her drunken state Celestia could simply not resist her libidinous urges.

A single tentative hoof began to explore her nether regions, preparing the tender area for what was soon to come. She began to gently caress her vagina, groaning quietly in pleasure. As she prepared to launch a final orgasmic assault, Celestia was woefully interrupted by the servant from before. She stood, even more uncomfortable than before, at the doorway to Celestia's room, a mug of moonshine in her hand.

"Should I c-come back later?"

The servant's voice came out in a pathetic whimper. Celestia let out a noise that sounded halfway between a grunt and a belch, gesturing the servant to come over. Slowly, she walked over to the Princess, her eyes wide and full of uncertainty.

Without a word, Celestia yanked the mug of moonshine down and swallowed it in a single magnificent gulp before tossing the mug carelessly to the side. The servant cleared her throat, clearly having come to Celestia's chambers for more reasons than simply satisfying the Princess' lust for booze.

"Umm, my Princess? T-Twilight Sparkle is here to discuss the problems with the Neighwaymen on the road near Ponyville. Should I tell her you're busy?"

Celestia brightened at the mention of her student.

"No, send her in. I would much like to meet with my... faithful student."

The Princess punctuated her sentence with a disconcerting giggle, followed immediately by a tremulous anal gas expulsion. Eager to escape the room as quickly as possible, the servant dashed out of the royal chambers.

After a few short moments punctuated primarily by additional earthquakes centered on Celestia's rectum, Princess Twilight Sparkle entered the chambers, closing the door behind them. She then turned to Celestia, her jaw immediately dropping almost to the floor as she saw her honorable and glorious master sprawled on the bed in such a terribly revealing position as to make Twilight's mind automatically censor itself.

"C-Celestia? Why are you- what's going-"

Twilight spend the better part of three minutes attempting to speak, but every time she neared forming a complete sentence her brain once again became overloaded by the simple prospect of her beloved teacher sitting naked and obviously entirely drunk right in front of her.

"Oh Sparky, I'm glad you came..."

Celestia stopped mid-sentence to let out a guffaw that shook the entire castle.

"Haha, 'came'. Get it? You came? As in-"

Twilight's eyes widened as she saw her mentor crack such a vulgar joke.

"Celestia, what's wrong? Are you ill?"

Celestia smirked, still self-congratulatory about her terrible attempt at ejaculatory humor. Desperately, Twilight grabbed her mentor's head and stared her directly in her bloodshot eyes in a vain attempt to get the elder Princess to focus.

"Celestia, is this a curse? Did Discord betray us again? Please, you gotta tell me!"

Celestia looked at Twilight somberly for a moment, with a great deal of sadness in her eyes. Twilight thought she had broken through the haze surrounding her master for a moment, until Celestia unleashed a devastating, toxic belch directly into Twilight's open mouth.

Twilight's eyes widened. Her face contorted in agony, her knees buckling as she toppled to the ground. She writhed and choked on the ground, gasping desperately for air after the closest thing Equestria had ever experienced to Chernobyl. Celestia simply cackled madly and flailed about her unmade bed, throwing both bedsheets and her various unmentionables across the room.

One such pair of her unmentionables had the misfortune of landing directly on the helpless Twilight's head, just as the poor mare had begun to recover from Celestia's biological weapon. She screamed in terror and confusion, painfully aware of the use of the garment that now adorned her head.

Celestia, enjoying the spectacle of her student's terrified squeaks and yelps, began to gently massage her tender regions once more, finding a great sensation of pleasure at Twilight's expense.

Finally, Twilight valiantly managed to tear the offending cloth from her head, throwing it clean across the room with much the same noise a pony would use to assist in expelling a particularly stubborn bowel movement. Before she could even breathe a sigh of relief, the sickly sweet smell of ejaculate filled the room as she met the serene eyes of her mentor, gently masturbating a mere few feet away.

It was too much. Twilight's poor mind could not simply take this much terrible input.

She snapped.

In one blinding second, Celestia was on the ground, moaning as Twilight Sparkle humped her vigorously. The groans and squelches of their late night encounter echoed throughout the entire castle, causing confusion among all of the castle's staff but one. The poor servant girl, who figured exactly what was happening, simply let her head droop into a large punch bowl.

Manewhile, Celestia and Twilight were busy having clumsy and drunken sex that saw them roll back and forth across the floor like a pony rolling pin. Both of their heads consistently bonked against objects ranging from bedposts to each other, but neither one even noticed the dull aches of the impacts. They were entirely focused on the beautiful, bloodshot eyes of the other, smiling widely as their tongues lolled out like over-exerted puppy dogs.

"C-Celestia, I think I learned something about friendship today..."

Celestia's ears flopped in response.

"Oh? What might that be?"

Twilight gave her mentor and new sexual partner a toothy grin.

"It has benefits."