This story has been canceled.

Warning: This chapter is ridikulus.

Perspective: Princess Cadence

Location: Canterlot Castle Throne Room

"Still no sign of your son, we have lo-" The reporter is interrupted by a sudden yelling.

"HELP! HOSTILE EXPLOSIVE GREEN PENISES ARE CHASING ME!" I hear Brandon's voice scream.

"THEY ARE CALLED CREEPERS YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" Another voice scolds.

"GODDAMNIT STEVE!" The huge throne room door is thrown to the side as if it were weightless, revealing three humans running away from the creepers you would come across in Minecraft. Every equinian head in the room immediately turns to the disturbance, only to be confused. There are five bipedal green creatures running at unnatural speeds towards Brandon and his 'friends' whilst completely ignoring us. I finally realize something amidst all of the chaos.

"What is that song?" I ask to nobody in particular.

"Darude - Sandstorm." Pinkie Pie replies instantly.

"Uh... Okay." I answer back, dismissing it as a 'Pinkie thing'.

An explosion is heard and a powdery substance is seen in the air. "NOOOOOOOOO! My cocaine mon! What the fuck! I was gonna smoke dat shit under da sun!" The third, dark skinned human cries in anger before turning around and spartan kicking a quickly approaching creeper off the face of the Earth.

"Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie! What's your name?" Pinkie Pie beams as she jumps over to the drug dealer.

"Want some?" The dealer asks as he starts to hand some drugs to Pinkie.

"NO! DON'T GIVE HER DRUGS YOU CRAZY JAMAICAN!" Brandon screams as he immediately pulls out a flamethrower and burns the cocaine. Dream runs over to Brandon and bucks the flamethrower out of his hands, startling him. On instinct he picks up his would-be offender.

Perspective: Brandon

After Dream bucked the flamethrower I pick her up but feel a bulge on her stomach.

"Wha... Did you gain weight or something?" She smacks me with a hoof.

"So you didn't know I was--" She's interrupted as she moans in pain.

"Get her to the nursery!" Mom orders the guards. They snatch her from my hands and trot away.

"How fucking long was I gone?!"

"Hmm, let's see. August, September, October, November, 4 months." I spawn a desk (Garry's Mod style) and proceed to facedesk until I'm pulled away. I wipe away the blood from my face, which is actually a lot. Cadence I find, is the one who pulled me back. She has that look where you're in trouble, but it seems to have lessened.

"Come, I need to have a word with you." Oh shit. I decide to follow her to wherever she was going to lead me but instead she just teleports us. "You need to be a good father." She says bluntly. If you think this is sudden Brandon did have sex with her after all and it has been months. He just didn't know he impregnated her in the first place. He thought that because he was in his Human form it wouldn't impregnate her. That is not the case as he was born a pony.

"Ok, wait what? I think I may have misheard you. Must be the drugs. Can you say that again?" I ask wearily.

Cadence sighes and says, "Dear Celestia you are so dense sometimes. Are you in denial or something? I said Dream is going into labor and you better be a good father or else I'm going to turn you back into my little colt." My skin turns extremely pale and my eyes become cartoonish X's as I stand there in completely and utterly shameless shock.

She facehooves and teleports me to the waiting room where I almost fall asleep were it not for Steve and the Jamaican.

"Hey! It's da guy of da howa!" Arcus (The Jamaican.) snickers drunkenly. And then I do fall onto the floor and go into cardiac arrest.

The first thing I notice is an amalgamation of all the things I've ever done leading up to one thing. One thing that unnerves me in my current frame of mind. One thing that scares me for a yet unknown reason. A family... A family of three mares, me, and a filly. I see an Equestria celebrating over their newest birthed alicorn that wasn't because of a transformation. I don't know what to do. I scream.

"Brandon?" I barely hear Dream say, so I don't say anything. I start coughing out dollars. My vision eventually unfogs and I see a filly looking at me worriedly and the mane six with Dream and Velvet. My pupils shrink to pinpricks and I fall out of the bed unresponsive.

Perspective: Princess Blissful Dream

I finally did it! I finally got a foal! I named her Lucky star. If only Brandon were here to see...

=I'm left tired from my efforts as I lay on my bed. One of the unicorn doctors had used a spell to clean up the mess just moments before. "Are you okay? You must be tired from your efforts..." Twilight says worriedly.

"NET! Ya skazal vam, chto ya ne khochu..." Silence follows as an unconscious Brandon is hauled into the bed while he talks in russian to nobody in particular. "Predatel'! Predatel'! Da zdravstvuyet novaya imperiya!"

"What is he saying?" Twilight Sparkle asks. I use magic to translate his words to everyone.

"Traitor! Hail the New Empire!" It translates from him. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." A deeper voice says. The translation stops and Brandon screams before looking straight at Lucky Star. His pupils shrink to pinpricks as he passes back out. Lucky Star jumps out of bed and nuzzles beside Brandon. She must know he is her dad.

"Looks like we're going to be a family. A dysfunctional one but still a family." I say.

The next day...

"Daddy." A girlish voice says in my head.

"Wha...Huh?"

"BRANDON! WAKE UP!" Dream screams in my mind. I cringe and wearily open my eyes.

"What the f--" A hoof covers my mouth.

"This is our daughter, Lucky Star." Dream says happily. "Oh and please, no language around her." She removes her hoof from my mouth and looks at me expectantly.

"I don't know whether to run and cry in a corner or just be scared." She narrows her eyes at me. I just yawn and rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"No." Dream says simply.

"Where did you come up with her name?" I ask curiously now that I am awake fully.

"Call it mother's intuition if you will." I finally get a full look at my surroundings and see that I am laying in my bed with Dream and Lucky Star. "Now would you mind telling me what 'Hail the New Empire' means?" I flinch when she says that. Her eyes once again narrow.

"No, I don't want to." I refuse weakly.

"Fine, but I'm getting that out of you later."

"Fair enough." I shrug.

"I love you daddy!"

"She can talk already?!" I yelp as I'm pushed down by my daughter and cuddled.

"She's an alicorn. Celestia told me we can talk when born because of the wars we had over birth which made us have to be able to communicate effectively. Besides, she isn't actually talking. It's physic. She still won't be able to talk for months maybe. And only us can hear her. I've been teaching her some things.

"BUT SHE'S 1 day old!" I state tiredly.

"Doesn't mean she can't be prepared. I don't want anypony to hurt her so I'm teaching her."

"I... Nope." I close my eyes. Lucky giggles and pinches my nose with her hoof. Da Fuq?

"Oh, loosen up!" Dream says contently as she fits in between me and Lucky.

I reopen my eyes to glare at Dream. I swear, sometimes that mare is too happy.

*Flash* Huh? *Message Alert* A datapad is summoned into my hands by an unknown force. "What the--" My eyes widen as I immediately magically change my clothes to my UNSC service uniform and run out the door full speed.

"Brandon! Where do you think you are going??!!" Dream screams. She catches Lucky before she hits the floor with her magic.

I teleport to the throne room and look out the window. A UNSC Infinity Class Warship is floating in space for all to see.

I make sure my uniform is in perfect condition and everything is in place.

"Where do ya'll think yer going in such a rush Sugarcube?" Applejack asks suspiciously as she has a lasso in her mouth and is flanked by the mane six and the princesses. I unholster my M6G Magnum and fire a warning shot at the ground. They flinch as guards come over to try to contain me. I place up an invisible barrier which stops them.

"Do NOT interfere!"

"Does it have to do with the giant spaceship floating above us?" Princess Luna asks bluntly.

"This is Captain Jeremiah of the UNSC Onward To Death, we are sending in pelicans to a medieval structure, does anyone read?"

"This is Commander Brandon Stryker of the United Nations Space Command Office Of Naval Intelligence Section Three. I read."

"Didn't you hear about your promotion Captain?"

"Oh?"

"Lord Hood will be waiting for you aboard." The communications relay stopped.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure I end up here minutes after I left."

"And how do you propose to do that?" Princess Celestia questions curiously.

"This." I say as blue swirling portal opens up in front of me for five seconds and then closes.

"Ok..." Twilight says, resigned to what fate offers. "But you better come back."

A section of the throne room opens when I snap my fingers, making an LZ for the pelican as it lands.

Dust kicks up as the thrusters change angles to correctly contradict each other and cause it to float. Lord Hood was aboard and I immediately saluted. He does not take notice of any of the other ponies thanks to a spell I cast moments earlier. Not that the ponies knew this. No. They would never allow that. Not willingly at least.

"At ease, you are being transferred."

"Sir, what is the occasion?" I ask politely as I step aboard the pelican and the shuttle bay doors close. I feel gravity take affect, causing me to reflexively grab onto a bar.

"I have read your files, I think you know exactly what I'm talking about. To defend this planet and potentially inhabit the ones around it. I don't care what you were born as. Seeing as you are one of us more than 95% of your life. So get it done soldier."

"Yes Sir."

Of all the things I have received I never thought I would get the Medal of Honor. That's telling. Unfortunately I had to forfeit my Spartan Status though. It Sucks. Apparently they are letting me keep the armor because it is incompatible with their spartans. The helmet was changed to Mark Vi though. So that is new. The new color of my armor is completely silver complemented by streaks of green on the plates.

"In wartime crisis or in 2 years your military rank shall automatically elevate to the position of Rear Admiral (Lower Half)." Lord Hood states.

"This is moving too fast for me."

"You have shown the neccessary skills and experience. It is inevitable. We both know you aren't exactly 17 like you claim or act." He says informally. "Your battle record of 20 years and service record of 35 is telling. You had better not ruin the space time continuum."

"*Sigh* Yes Sir."

Once I'm in a cabin I try to sleep, only to be pulled outward and into a blue portal. A very angry Dream pulls me and I fall onto the bed in my room.