You're Doing it Wrong

by Abydos

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1415

A stallion has the guts to tell Twilight Sparkle that she doesn't know how to handle a book.

A stallion has the guts to tell Twilight Sparkle that she doesn't know how to handle a book.

Published 2015-01-18 07:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-18 07:20:02 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight sat down at her desk like she always did, ready to start another day of studying for Princess Celestia. Even though her old mentor had told her that she no longer had to send her reports on her findings, she still found solace in the old act, using it to escape from the fast-paced lifestyle of being the newest princess of Equestria. There had always been something about writing reports that left her feeling refreshed, as if performing the sole act had left her ready to tackle the next chore.

She had her supply of books to her left and several pieces of parchment and ink pots to her right. A few of her favorite quills lay before her, sitting in a small ceramic jar that Spike had made her for her birthday last year.

Taking a deep breath, Twilight let out a happy sigh and made herself comfortable on the cushions she was sitting on. She flicked her tail so that it fell around her right flank, stretched her wings, and lit her horn to pick up the first book. It was old and rather dusty, its pages containing that aged parchment smell that she had grown so accustomed to. Twilight opened it to the first bookmarked page and started humming a little ditty to herself.

Though just before she started reading, she heard the library’s front door bell chime, sounding the arrival of a guest. Twilight rolled her eyes, slightly irritated that she was being pulled from her work before she could even get started, but she knew that as the town’s librarian, it was her duty to greet new arrivals and ask if they needed help with anything.

Throwing on a smile, Twilight stood up and trotted across the room to greet the newcomer. He was a light gray pegasus with a white mane, his eyes a vivid ocean blue. Sneaking a quick look at his flank, she saw that his flank was adorned with a simple book as his cutie mark. “Hello!” she started as she came to a halt in front of him. “Is there anything I can help you with, mister…” she trailed off, prompting the newcomer for his name. His cutie mark made her curious as to who he was.

“Grey Streak, and no, I just wanted to look around for a bit,” he said as he roughly pushed past her, nearly knocking her off of her hooves as he walked to the other side of the library.

What is this guy’s problem? Twilight thought irritably as she steadied herself. Scratching the back of her head, she struggled to maintain a calm and collected air. “I–if you need anything, feel free to come ask me, alright?” The stallion didn’t respond, making Twilight feel a bit out of place. Nopony had ever blatantly ignored her like that, and she sure as hell didn’t like it. “Um… alright then…” she muttered to herself, answering her own question.

Twilight shook her head in annoyance as she trotted back to her desk. She sat down on the cushions then snuck a furtive glance at Grey Streak, looking over her left shoulder. He was perusing the shelves just like before, then a few moments later he moved to the next one on the right, coming closer to her. He started to look towards Twilight, so she whipped her head back around so that she was looking at her book.

Praying that she didn’t get caught staring at him, Twilight closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to calm her racing heart. After several moments, she opened her eyes again, cracked her neck, then slid the book towards her. It lay flat on the desk, open and ready to give Twilight its secrets. She flicked her ears forward and away from the newcomer, trying to tune him out so that she could start her work. After waiting a few seconds to see if he would bother her, she looked down and started to read.

“Uh… what are you doing?” Twilight heard Grey Streak ask in a manner that sounded like he thought of her as an idiot. Surprised that he was being rude to her, Twilight grit her teeth and decided to play nice, for now.

“Well…” she said slowly, unsettled by his condescending expression. One side of his lips was pulled upwards in a smirk and he looked at her as if he thought he was above her. “I was about to start reading this book here, but that can wait. Is there something you need?” Twilight turned to face the stallion, who kept sneering at her.

“Yeah, you aren’t reading that book in the correct and proper manner, missy!” Grey Streak said, pointing at the book laying before Twilight.

Twilight’s eyes went wide at that. She had barely tolerated him shoving past her when they had first met, but she could not idly stand by and let herself be a doormat to be trodden on as if she was nothing. Twilight took great offense at his claim; if there was anything she knew how to handle, it was a book.

“Excuse me, what did you say?” Twilight asked in disbelief. Why would he disrespect me like this? I’ve shown him nothing but respect, yet he chooses to show me none! Can he not see that I’m an alicorn?

“Heh, are you deaf? I told you that–” He raised his voice a little bit, just like somepony would as if they were speaking to somepony hard of hearing. “You aren’t using that book properly!”

Twilight scoffed at that. Closing the book with a touch of magic, she said, “As Ponyville’s librarian and Princess Celestia’s old protégé, I can assure you with one hundred percent certainty that I know exactly what I’m doing,” she finished smugly, giving the old book a few pats to emphasize her point.

“No, you don’t!” Grey Streak said forcefully, pushing Twilight off of the cushions as he went for the book.

Off balance, Twilight fell on her side with a small ‘oof’. Thankful that she hadn’t injured her wing, she pushed herself back up. “Hey, what was that for?” she demanded, now standing on all four hooves. She quickly dropped her pretense of being nice, now choosing to let her irritation sit plainly upon her face.

Like earlier, Grey Streak ignored her as he grabbed the book, clutching it to his chest. “You weren’t using this book right, so I had to step in and–“

“Step in?!” Twilight said, raising her voice out of anger. “You shoved me to the floor! Don’t you have any manners?”

“Not for those who don’t use books the right way! You can’t just let it sit there like that, it has to–”

What the heck is this guy’s problem? “That’s my book, and you have no right to take it from me! Now give it back!”

“No!”

Twilight hated throwing her position as princess around, but this stallion was really pushing her limits. “You know you’re talking to a princess, right?” she asked as she tried pulling the book back from him with her magic. “You should treat me with the respect that my position deserves!”

“No way; not if you’re gonna treat books the wrong way!” Grey Streak said, raising his voice to match Twilight’s. “You don’t deserve this!” He pulled back on the book, but Twilight’s strength was too much for him, making him fall on his ass as the book slipped from his hooves.

“You insubordinate and churlish foal! You aren’t welcome here anymore, so get out before I call the guards on you!” Twilight raised the book in her magical grasp and used it to swat the newcomer’s flank, making him yelp and jump to his hooves. Further swats proved highly effective as she pushed him out of the library.

“Sheesh, the nerve of some ponies…” Twilight muttered under her breath as she slammed the door closed behind him. She looked out of the window and watched him as he trotted away, letting her shoulders fall in relief once she was sure he wasn’t coming back.

She trotted back to where she had been sitting and laid her book back down on the desk. As she opened it to where she had been interrupted, she muttered to herself, “If ponies think I have to conform to some baseless set of standards that they’ve randomly set for anypony, then they’re outta their fucking minds…”