F@#$ my life

by midnight blaze00

Dreams, Dungeons, and the new guy

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Falcon and Sgt. Gold had been waiting in this shifting dream for Izaiah for who knows how long. The wait was driving Sgt. Gold crazy, and Falcon was being driven nuts by Gold. A shadowy figure had been there when Gold and Falcon had arrived. Before they could go and talk to it, the figure had disappeared. Since then, Gold had done nothing but try to look for it. Falcon's eyes followed Gold's body as he sped about, looking every where. The landscape of this dream was forest-like with trees and bushes everywhere. The Sgt. Finally gave up his search and sat next to Falcon. Gold's amber eyes looked on with defeat. He looked towards Falcon.
"When is Izaiah going to get here? I mean we were both brought here so shouldn't he be here too? It's just common sense." Falcon returned his answer with a shrug. He was still getting used to being a pony.
"I have no idea how I got here or when Izaiah will get here, or if he will even go to sleep. We both know that he could just stare at the stars forever..."

Gold nodded sadly. The two started to walk around this never ending landscape filled with trees. Even though it was a dream, Falcon and Gold could feel their bodies starting to get tired. A loud POP was heard followed by something crashing through the trees ahead. Gold ran ahead trying to figure out what that sound was. A series of cusses followed. Falcon just sighed and thought, "I bet it's Izaiah..."

"YOU FUCKER! GOLD! GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!!!!"

Yep, definitely him alright.

After apologizing for tackling him, Gold backed away. Falcon stepped forward.
"WHAT IN THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG?!" Falcon yelled out, fuming in anger. Izaiah rubbed the back of his head as he answered.
"Oh you know...just winning the bet...and...um...looking at the night...sky..." Sgt. Gold shook his head.
"Well you're here now!" Sgt. Gold slowly gave a big grin that scared the other two guys with him. "So...Are. You. Ready. For... motivation? Izaiah and Falcon realized what he was about to do. They looked at each other and yelled the same thing.
"RUN!" the two stallions turned tail as the fun-crazed Sargent chased after them, singing his motivation song.

(I really don't want to put down that song. Sorry, maybe in a later chapter.)

After a bit, when Gold was done with terrorizing Izaiah and Falcon, they decided to figure out how to fight as a pony. They matched off against one another. First was Sgt. Gold and Falcon. Gold threw the first punch to Falcon's side and he didn't have time to dodge or block the attack so Falcon went flying into a tree. The branches trembled as the green unicorn crashed into its trunk. Falcon groaned as he got back up. Gold approached with caution. Falcon grinned and sent a hoof into the side of Gold's head and another into his side. The first blow had made Gold shake his head, but he seemed unaffected when Falcon sent a couple more punches to his torso and sides. Wanting to end this quickly, Gold smacked Falcon upside the head, making him lose his balance, and sent a kick into his chest, sending him flying once again into a tree. Falcon tried to get up, but he couldn't. Izaiah walked over to him. "Looks like you lost, Lieutenant, so now it's my turn." Falcon nodded painfully. Gold called out,

"Hey Izaiah, it's your turn!" Izaiah turned towards the Sargent. Izaiah grinned, and sped over to him with a kick to the head, then twisted, grabbing Gold's fur, and threw him to the ground. He was a bit heavier than Big Mac, but Izaiah could manage. On the ground before him, Gold shook his head and slowly got up. Izaiah walked around him letting him get up. Gold sent out a punch to the left that Izaiah swiftly dodged and returned with a punch of his own. Furious, Gold twisted his body around and sent Izaiah flying backwards with his back hooves. Izaiah flared his wings, stopping himself midair, twisted, and landed on his hooves. Growling, Gold charged at him and Izaiah ran at him, then slid under Gold's stomach, sending a punch into Gold's gut in the process. Stumbling, Gold lurched forward, grabbing Izaiah and getting ready to throw him onto the ground. But Izaiah wasn't having any of that so, he twisted under Gold's grip and bounced off of his chest. Izaiah grimaced as he landed wrong, falling to the ground. Gold rushed over and sent a powerful hoof into the ground where Izaiah had just been. Izaiah crashed into Gold's side knocking him over onto the ground. Izaiah seized the chance and wrapped his forelegs against Gold's throat, choking him. Gold tried to escape it but was failing. Rapping his hoof on the ground violently signaled that he had given up. Releasing him, Izaiah backed away as Gold gasped for breath.

"Geez, don't either of remember your CQC training? Some of the techniques still work with a pony body." Izaiah said confused. Falcon and Gold nodded. Smiling, they looked at another. They yelled as they attacked Izaiah together, punching and kicking, until they all grew tired.

Hours passed. They were leaning against some tress when Izaiah decided to ask,
"So...Pinkie Pie huh?" Sgt. Gold's heart stopped for a second, then beat even faster than before. He gave a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his head.
"Um yeah..." But by this time, Falcon was fuming in anger. Falcon took a step toward Sgt. Gold and off of his own tree he had been leaning on. Izaiah just sat back watching it all play out.

"THIS IS CRAZY! EVEN FOR YOU GOLD! WE JUST MET THESE DAMN MARES AND YOU'RE ALREADY DATING ONE! WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE HAVE TO LEAVE? HUH? SHE DEFINITLY COULDN'T-"
"Lieutenant!" A commanding voice rang out. Falcon, startled, didn't finish. Izaiah looked him with an intense glare.

"Stand down!" Izaiah growled out. Falcon gave Izaiah a small glare of his own as he backed down. Izaiah turned towards Sgt. Gold who looked better than he had when Falcon had been yelling at him. Izaiah had noticed the anger in Gold's eyes when Falcon berated him and treated him like a child who didn't know anything. If Izaiah hadn't stopped Falcon there, Gold would have snapped him in half. Literally.

"Gold...as much as I hate to say it, Falcon has a point. However, I'll make you a deal. Answer me truthfully on this." Gold nodded seriously with a determined look in his amber eyes. "Do you swear, to protect Pinkie Pie, whatever the consequence, whatever situation, and with whatever the cost, with your very life, body, and soul?" Gold wasted no time responding.
"SIR! I swear and accept the risks and will protect her with my soul, body, and life, SIR!" Gold showed no hesitation or regret in his choice. Izaiah nodded in acceptance.
"Good. I will hold you to that promise, no exceptions whatsoever." Falcon just sputtered in surprise.
"b-but what if-"
"Falcon, shut up. Seriously. Give Gold a break." Falcon muttered "yes sir..." before sulking around. Sgt. Gold started to follow him, but a hoof blocked him. Izaiah looked a him with knowing eyes. "Let him be. We have other things to worry about. For example, how to get out of this fucking dream!"
A voice said behind them; "Well you could have just said so." Before the trio could turn around, there was a bright flash of light and they were taken out of the dream world.

Sgt. Gold woke up on a damp, cold, stone floor. His head felt like it had been dragged up and down long flights of stairs multiple times. He definitely was not on the train anymore. Looking around the room, he found that Izaiah and Falcon were on either side of him, surrounded by iron bars like himself. There were other cells just like it but there wasn't any ponies or creatures inside them. Izaiah looked over to Gold. "Finally awake are we?" Gold nodded. He asked if there was a way out of here. Izaiah put a hoof to his chin in thought. "Maybe... Hey Gold, do you think that you could use your strength to knock down the cage door and grab the keys over on that table?"
Sgt. Gold rubbed the back of his head. He started; "I don't know... I don't think I'm st-"

"I wonder what they're doing to pinkie pie right now-" Izaiah was interrupted by the clang of metal as Gold's door was sent flying into another cage. Sgt. Gold had a determined look in his eye that was mixed with a bit of rage and hatred. He rushed over to the table and grabbed the keys and set Izaiah and Falcon free. Even Falcon looked pissed. He spoke;

"If anything happened to Twilight and the girls, I'm going to find the ones who did this and tear them limb from limb." Sgt. Gold and Izaiah nodded grimly.

"Nice to know that we're on the same page Falcon. Alright boys," Izaiah said clapping his hooves together, "Let's put our training to good use." Together, they found a way out of the dungeons and into some sort of castle. The castle was white on the outside and inside where the trio was walking, the floors were a polished golden. There were many pedestals with priceless artifacts and paintings on them.
However they didn't stop to look in amazement, they had a mission. A squad of ponies in similar camouflage to what their military wore on earth marched toward Izaiah and crew. Getting in their way. Bad move.

"HALT," One of their officers commanded, "We put you three in cells for a reason, and you are going back." The officer smirked as the trio tensed up, ready for a fight. "Unless you want us to hurt your friends of course..." All three of the trio glared at the squad of ponies before Izaiah stepped up.

"First off, I outrank you. Second, I will tear you apart, slowly, and painfully, if you already hurt our friends. And last of all, we are going to kick all of your asses so, you better be ready for a fight." The two groups ran at each other.

(??? POV )

"Buck me! Where in the hay is the damn dungeons?" The armored pony turned a corner. "I have got to help them out, these new bucking 'marine' ponies won't listen to me." He rounded another corner, and was sent flying backwards, crashing into a wall. He rolled to the side as a sword impaled itself into the wall where he had just been. A voice said; "Sargent, hold on second. This one seems...different than the ones we've been facing." The armored pony recognized that voice instantly. Picking himself up, he put a hoof to the said of his head in a sort of salute.
"Captain Solarwing, at your service, sir. I was the one that let you out of that dream."

(3rd person view again)

The pony in front of Izaiah and crew looked like a captain, especially how he had dodged that sword. So he responded;

"I am Major Izaiah Midflame, and this is 1st LT. Falcon and Gunnery Sargent Gold. You aren't going to cause any problems are you?" Solarwing shook his head.

"No, I was actually coming to help you all out. Our best bet is to make our way to the princess' throne room. However, the marines won't listen to me or the guard, so we're going to have to plow right through them." Izaiah nodded.

"Very well then Captain, welcome to the squad, lead the way." Izaiah and squad gave a quick salute. "Let's go." Sgt. Gold cracked his neck. "Also, I don't think we're going to have any problems with those 'marines', they seriously need some more combat training." With that, the ran down the hallways following Solarwing. The captain spread his wings, soared through the air, and crashed into a marine, knocking him and another officer over, and smacking their heads into the ground. Turning around, Solarwing was faced with another opponent who he just sent flying into a wall with his magic. More soldier ponies filled the hallways trying to stop the little squad of four. They stood no chance. Gold's strength was incredible as he knocked away every soldier he faced with his hoof. Izaiah brought them down with quick thinking and close combat skills. Falcon drew a sword and gave them all a few wounds to be remembered. The on-duty Solar and Lunar guards just kept to the walls, not wanting a to be a part of the beating the soldier ponies were getting.

Izaiah and crew travelled through endless hallways and stairs, fighting marines along the way. Solarwing held his position as point and led them to the best of his memory. Eventually, Solarwing asked a saluting solar guard to show the way to the throne room. They met little resistance, after hours of fighting, they were probably low on soldiers to face them. Finally, they arrived at the throne room doors. The doors were a solid gold with engravings of the sun and the moon.

"Is this the place?"
"Yes sir it is. Just follow my lead and we shouldn't have any problems ok? " Izaiah nodded. Solarwing looked at himself and the squad. They were all bloody and covered head to hoof in cuts and bruises. "On second thought, maybe we should take care of our wounds." The three looked surprised as they looked at themselves. Maybe they didn't even notice because of all the rage and adrenaline coursing through their bodies. Izaiah looked at Solarwing and shook his head.

"That's not necessary captain, we have taken way worse before. A lot worse." Solarwing just nodded.
"Your funeral Major."

Izaiah cringed at the sound of his rank being voiced. Solarwing raised an eyebrow, but said nothing as Falcon gave him a look that said, "don't ask". Motioning for them to gather around, Solarwing pushed open the golden doors. They ran inside, only to have swords at their throats. Damn marines.

Izaiah growled at the officer. "You better put that sword down before you get hurt." The blade went deeper into Izaiah's throat. The marine officer grinned. He was a light crimson colored unicorn with a gleaming silver sword with the marine logo apon it.

"Well you should stop talking before you lose your head." Izaiah narrowed his eyes.
"S-strike..." Izaiah gurgled out. The marines looked confused. Falcon, Gold, and Solarwing, however got it, and attacked. Gold sent a powerful punch to a marine's gut, making him drop his sword, Falcon leapt back, grabbed the sword, and threw it towards the officer keeping Izaiah pinned. The officer rolled out of the way of the blade, setting Izaiah free. And boy did he look pissed. A drop of blood dropped from the cut on his chin he received from the officer. Izaiah grabbed the sword off of the ground and charged the officer. Then...everything stopped. The room was coated in a dim golden aura. Celestia and a dark blue Alicorn followed close behind. Celestia's horn glowed a golden hue. The two walked over to their thrones, their guards at their side, both equipped with a royal golden sword, solar or lunar armor, and a...Desert Eagle? What the...

"That's enough! Marines, you are dismissed!" Celestia commanded, setting them all down with her magic, marines with marines, and Izaiah with squad, separating the two groups. She released her magic, and the marines hung their heads down low and walked out of the throne room, giving glares to Izaiah and company. When they had left, Solarwing bowed before the two Alicorns, motioning the others to do the same.

"Rise." Celestia commanded with a less harsh voice then earlier. The dark Alicorn looked on in interest as the four stallions rose. All of them were bleeding profusely, however it didn't seem to faze them. Izaiah and Falcon froze at the sight of the Solar and Luna guards' weapons. Sgt. Gold was too busy looking for the girls everywhere possible in the room. Solarwing took no notice of what brought the other three discomfort. Instead, he looked towards the princess. Celestia spoke;

"Its been a long time Captain...what are you doing back? Did you find what you were looking for?" Solarwing nodded.
"I did...but...there's no way for me to do it alone, I barely escaped. I think I will stay awhile, train some more before I try again. However...I did find someone rather...important." Celestia raised an eyebrow. Izaiah spoke, interrupting;

"Hey...Celestia right?" She nodded. "Cool, I have three questions for you."
"Go on."

"First off, where are the girls? I haven't seen a glimpse of them since I'm assuming, yesterday, and we just fought through a few hundred marines to see if they are alright. So...do you know where they are?" Celestia smiled as a door opened.
"Try looking behind you, young one." The boys turned and Gold was tackled by a pink blur, and Falcon was tackled by a purple blur. Izaiah grinned. Two down...Fluttershy and Applejack walked in with Rarity and Spike close behind. Izaiah counted the ponies. 'That's five of the girls plus Spike...I know I'm forgetting someone...' He thought to himself as a loud booming sound was heard. Solarwing ran to the window, looked out, then dove to the side as a cyan blue blur crashed through the widow and tackled Izaiah, knocking the wind out of him and crushing him against a wall. The wall cracked as Izaiah slammed into it. A warm body encased his own and wrapped him in a bone crushing hug, not letting him breathe. All was dark as Izaiah's vision went dark and he could swear he heard angels sing. There was a dim light in the distance, and he walked towards it, ready to accept his death. He was almost there when he was thrown back into reality, gasping for breath. "D-damn it Rainbow...I was so close..." He muttered. The cyan Pegasus looked at him in confusion.

A feminine voice chuckled in his mind. "It's not your time yet, young one."
Izaiah groaned.

"Celestia, please get the fuck out of my head." He said aloud. The white princess pouted. Izaiah still sensed her poking around in his mind. "OK Celestia, you asked for it." Izaiah grinned as he imagined Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie in a very revealing red lingerie, lying In sexual positions on a red heart shaped bed, with candles lit around the bed in blue flame. They all had a look that begged for some naughtiness to happen apon them. The smile apon Izaiah's face was replaced by a smirk as the sun princess' eyes widened and her giant white wings started to spread, twitching slightly. She stopped her wings from having a "wingboner". A cherry red blush formed on her white coat, covering her whole body. The main six looked on in confusion, as well as Solarwing and the night princess, while Sgt. Gold and Falcon grinned, knowing all too well what Izaiah could have done. They had spent a lot of time in that mind, so they knew full well of what we on in it. Celestia, regaining some of her composure, looked at Izaiah with a glare and a devilish smile.

"That was a dirty move Izaiah, I will get you back for that..." Celestia said, with challenge in her tone. Every one looked towards Izaiah in curiosity. Izaiah just shrugged.

"In all fairness, I did warn you."

"Still-" She was interrupted by Solarwing's and Princess Luna's wings popped out, twitching vigorously. Izaiah shook his head.

"For fuck's sake stay out of my mind!" Then he grinned. "I can dish out even worse you know..."

"Dammit Major, I don't even want to know." Izaiah shuddered at his rank being said. Luna looked on with curiosity.

(BTW people, in my story, Luna has mastered speaking normally. Sorry, Old English is confusing as fuck sometimes.)

"Why do you shudder in pain when your rank is said, Major?" The room was quiet. Falcon and Sgt. Gold kept a military bearing, giving nothing away. Izaiah looked at the ground, sadness, fear, and depression in his cyan blue eyes. A new voice broke the silence.

"Perhaps I can answer that question Luna." Izaiah's, Falcon's, and Gold's eyes widened as they heard a voice they knew all too well. Izaiah turned towards the voice. Izaiah sputtered out in awe;

"Colonel?"
(For those who aren't familiar with this rank, it's pronounced "kernel", like popcorn. It's two ranks higher than a Major. Just FYI.)

The one in question smiled and responded;

"Long time no see Major..."


Author's Note

Duh duh dunn..... Sorry about all of these cliffhangers people. Also I remember saying that this was going to be a extra long chapter, but I decided to make it a two parter. Just thought I should give you all something to read while I'm busy. See ya and constructive criticism is welcomed.

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