BBBFFFHWIMC: The Hit Bridleway Musical

by MythrilMoth

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Cadance, Comedy, Random, Shining Armor, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1275

When Cadance is in heat and wants to have a foal, Shining Armor tries to hide from her at Twilight's castle. A musical.

Cadance is in heat. Cadance wants to have a foal.

A terrified and panicking Shining Armor heads for Ponyville to hide out at his sister's place until it blows over.

He really should've known better...

Cadance really wants to make a baby. And the particulars of where and who's watching don't matter.

A dialogue-only musical.

Published 2015-01-08 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-08 18:40:02 UTC

Act 1 of 1

"Good morning Twilight Sparkle, favorite little sister mine!
It's always nice to see you and it seems you're doing fine!"

"Good morning Shining Armor, my BBBFF!
I didn't know that you were coming, but we have some breakfast left!"

"Thanks I'll have some, man I'm starving, I left home without a bite!
Things are weird at home now, Cadance kept me up all night!"

"Is something wrong with Cadance? Is the Crystal Empire fine?
You know I'll always help you with your problems, brother mine!"

"I appreciate that, Twiley, but there's nothing you can do.
Cadie's just a little worked up, she's in heat and wants to...

"Umm..."

"Screw?"

"Yes, screw. Thank you. My wife just wants to screw."

"That's a little too much info, didn't really need to know,
But it's not so strange when mares in heat are hankering to go."

"Yeah I know that, Twiley, come on, I'm a grown and married guy!
But it's different this time, Twiley, Cadance wants to make a try..."

"Make a try? What do you mean? Wait...you're saying...
No, it can't be! Come on, Shiny! Tell me you're just playing!"

"Would I kid about this, Twiley? Would I joke about her goal?
Would I be here if I wasn't trying NOT to make a foal?"

"You mean you didn't come to see me? You're just hiding from your wife?
Thanks, that really makes me feel like I'm important in your life!"

"That isn't what I meant, I'm sorry Twiley, I'm in stress!
I'm tired and I'm freaking out, this whole thing's such a mess!"

"But what's wrong with having children? I don't get why you're upset!
To be honest I'm surprised that something hasn't happened yet!"

"But I don't want to be a dad, I'm much too young to raise a foal!
I'm barely managing a kingdom and did not expect that role!"

"Cadance didn't either yet she wants to have a child.
I think you just don't want to end your days of running wild."

"Running wild, you say? I never! I'm not like that, little sis!
I've always been responsible, upstanding, never put a hoof amiss!"

"I'm just teasing, Shining Armor, but I really think you should
Stop and think about this calmly. Talk to Mom, you know she would—"

"OH SHINING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARMOR!"

"Oh horseapples, she found me! Hide me, Twiley! Help me out!
I can't handle this right now, when I'm so full of fear and doubt!"

"Stop being such a baby, pony up and face your wife!
If you even think of hiding I might geld you with this knife."

"You wouldn't dare! You're bluffing! Come on Twiley, knock it off!
No, not that, I mean the knife thing, put it down, okay? I'll—"

"OH SHINING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARMOR!"

"There you are, you silly boy! What are you doing this far south?
I need you back at home to stick your big cock in my mouth!"

"Cadie, don't say things like that in front of Twiley! Geez!
She's a pure young filly! Don't subject her to your lustful sleaze!"

"I am NOT a little filly, I'm a grown mare, you big dope!
But I do agree that Cadance needs her mouth washed out with soap."

"Oh hi there, Twilight, didn't see you, could you leave us two alone?
My fanny's burning up for Shining Armor's meaty bone."

"You know I love you, Cadance, with all my heart and all my soul,
But we need to talk about this thing before we make a foal."

"The time for talking's over, I need sex and need it now!
My fanny is a fertile field just waiting to be plowed."

"Yes, we see and smell that you're in heat, but Cadance, come on, please,
This is not the time or place for this, you're causing me unease.
If the two of you have issues, you should really talk them through,
But my library is not the place for you and him to screw!"

"Oh I don't know, Twilight!
Your castle feels just right!
This table here's a classy piece!
I think it's where we'll make your niece!
Oooooooor neeeeeeepheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew..."

"EWWW!"

"Come on Shiny, don't be whiny!
Pony up and put it in my hiney!
Make me moan and make me scream!
Fill my fanny with your cream!"

"EWWW!"

"We're not doing this here, Cadance! Not in Twiley's favorite place!
What's the matter with you, Cadance? Hey, don't stick that in my face!"

"I'm not seeing this,
I'm not seeing this,
There's no way this is happening,
There's no way that this is real,
There's no way that this is going on,
This is something I can't deal
Wiiiiiiiith..."

"I'm the only one who gets a say,
And I want to roll in the hay!
If Shining Armor won't obey,
We'll just do this the easy waaaaaay..."

"What are you—no—stop—Cadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

"I want it. I need it. I want and need it now!
I want it and I need it and I want it and I need it and I want it and I need it and I want it and I"

"CADANCE, CUT THAT OUT, THAT'S WRONG!
THAT SPELL YOU CAST IS MUCH TOO STRONG!
AND YOU KNOW IT REALLY ISN'T CHILL
FOR YOU TO FORCE HIM TO DO YOUR WILL!"

"What just happened? I feel strange,
Like my thoughts were rearranged...
Did Cadance do something deranged?
Cadie, hon, it's like you've changed..."

"Oh my gosh, I'm sorry, Shining Armor, I'm a witch!
I can't believe I did that, now I feel like such a bitch!
How could you possibly forgive me? I'm an awful, awful wife!
The last thing that I wanted was to cause you so much strife!"

"No, it's not your fault, it's mine, I should have never run away.
I just freaked out when you said you want a family today.
Because I don't know if I'm ready, I don't know if I can deal,
But I never stopped to think of how my precious wife might feel!
So if you really want to try to have a foal right now,
Well—WHOA!"

"AHH! NOT ON THAT BOOK!
AHH! NOT ON THAT CHAIR!
AHH! GET OFF MY TABLE!
GAH! THE MIRROR! DON'T DO IT THERE!
OH CELESTIA, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I HAVE LIKE FIFTY ROOMS!
YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO RUIN ALL MY BOOKS ON ANCIENT RUNES!
OH MY GOSH, I'M SEEING THINGS A SISTER SHOULDN'T EVER SEE!
...why do I suddenly feel like I really need to pee?"

"Ah! It's going in so deep!
Oh! It's going in so hard!
Oh! You're going much to slow!
AH! YOU'RE GOING WAY TOO FAST!"

"I can't believe I'm doing this,
In front of my dear little sis,
And yet it strangely feels okay,
For Twiley to see us this way..."

"Why, what's going on in here? A musical orgy? And nobody invited me? I'm crushed..."

"DISCORD! Why are you here?"
"AH! I'm really really near!"
"YES! Come inside me, dear!"
"Oh Twilight, might I see your rear? ...I'm kidding! I'm kidding!"

"GO BOTHER SOMEPONY ELSE, YOU PERVERT!"

"Twilight, thank you ever so much for letting us have sex in here.
I don't think I could have made it back home with this fire in my rear!"

"I didn't let you, you just did it, and look at all this mess!
You two had better clean it up, you've caused me quite enough distress!
The library is not a place for pony mating, don't you see?
Now clean this up and go back home...I'm going to go pee."

Author's Note

Read the original version which failed moderation here.