LIGHTS, CAMERA, INSANITY!
Equestira at night is a truly beautiful sight.
The way Luna’s moon lit up the country sides and cityscapes makes one thing of portraits that have come to life.
Yes, Equestira is truly peaceful…
“That, quite frankly dear author, is fucking boring.” A sharp voice cut through the tranquillity.
We cut to a dark room filled with white leather couches and an ebony desk, decorated with a few oddities; a tome with a golden skull embedded into it, a rose quartz with a rose scented-
“Black cherry, dear author…” the voice reprimanded with a chuckle.
Ahem. A black cherry scented candle inserted into it and a rather elegant looking rotary phone.
What was also on the desk was a pair of crocodile skin boots with a grey suit covering the purple fur legs of its owner.
A spotlight from above lit up the room, showing it to be nothing more than a set, akin to one found on sensationalist interviewers.
“Stalions, mares, foals of all ages…” the voice said, taking his feet off the seat and leaning forward, its owner a black and white haired unicorn with an infectious smile. “You may be wondering why my handsome mug is now on your TV screens rather than...Um…”
He darted under his desk and pulled out a copy of ETV’s (Equestria TV) guide.
“Lesse now…11’o clock…” he muttered, his microphone attached to his pinstriped suit allowing the viewers to hear him.
“Ah! Yes, instead of Madam Zecorra’s cooking channel or Blueblood’s one man soap-opera, you’ve got me!”
“But who am I you ask? Some call me madman, others call me genius…” he said, starting on a long, somewhat boring expositional rant.
For the sake of sparing you his mannerisms, this stallion is called Shattered Dreams. He once was a fairly well known dream psychologist and, since Luna’s return, pioneered research into dream magic.
It seems that the poor doctor, once his funding began to dwindled, used himself in an experiment that had changed the stoic, professional scholar into a madman.
“…And that, my friends, is why you always wear your banana…What was I talking about?” he asks, looking up to the sky.
As you probably figured out by now, Dreams’ experiment has given him the ability to break the fourth wall.
“Like Deadpool!” he said with a grin.
Hush.
“Screw you!”
Don’t you have a show to present?
“Fuck, thanks…” he muttered, pulling papers out of nowhere.
“Now then…I welcome you, dear viewers, to DREAMSCAPE!” he exclaimed, pressing a remote to turn on a large neon sign that descended from the ceiling.
“Now here’s the deal, I pick out a random name from a hat” he said, twirling around a top hat “and that lucky mare or stallion gets their dreams on air!”
Perhaps I should go into the experiment he did some more…
It was three years ago on a cold autumnal day when Shattered Dreams reached a breakthrough in his research.
He had discovered that every living being were connected to what he called the Dream Network.A veritable hub where all dreams and nightmares existed in the same place, only a veil of magic keeping things from merging.
He had a theory that, like the princess of the night herself, one can walk throughout the dreamscape freely.
With that in mind he decided to try this out for himself, connecting a jump lead to his horn with the other end connected to a weather poll…
“Oi! It was a good idea at the time!”
Sure…Any way, he was right. His spirit and magical energy was now able to walk around the dreamscape…However…
“I never calculated how to get back to my body!” Shattered screamed, burying his face into the desk.
For the sake of the reader, I am rolling my eyes.
“Ahem, sorry for my outburst…” Shattered said, gaining composure.
“Now, it’s time to see which of our lovely ponies will be on the air!” he exclaimed, reaching his hand into the hat which was now filled to the brim with paper.
A drumroll played as the purple scientist pulled out a sealed envelope from within the scraps of paper.
"And our lucky first guest is...." he paused for dramatic effect, opening the letter.
"Ms. Cheerlee!"
A large applause filled the studio, despite nopony being in the seats.
"Alrighty then, let's have a look at what our deer school teacher gets up to in her free time..." Shattered smirked, diving behind his desk and pulling out a remote, a large screen appearing on a nearby wall.
There was static at first, but soon a small room came into focus.
It was an increadibly messy room, teaching supplies and cheep Chineighs food containers littered almost every surface aside from a relatively clean mauve and light pink covered bed with a white shawl covering the leg end of it's occupant.
"Oh my, reminds me of my college days" Shattered chuckled, pressing a button so canned laughter played.
"I do hope you lovely ponies are recording, because things are going to get good real soon~" he sang, the camera zooming into Cheerlee's face.
Her hair, while slightly shaken, was still as silky smooth as it normally was, and a light blush covered the school teacher's face as she squirmed underneath the covers.
"We're in luck boys an' girls! She's already in the middle of a juicy one!" he cackled, fiddling with the remote so the camera zoomed into her closed eyes.
A pair of etherial hands gently pried them open, a dark purple aura surrounding the mare's normally green eyes as the camera zoomed in, a sea of green swirling around as sounds and images of the earth pony's past mixed slightly.
Suddenly, the entire room change into a green school room with several mauve and light pink books.
"Ladies and Gentlecolts, this is how Cheerilee views her own psyche" Shattered said, walking around in a professor's lab cloak.
"Personally I prefer the ones with doors but this is fun as well..." he muttered, pulling out a random book.
"Let's see....The plights of teaching..." he said aloud, opening the book.
It jumped from his hands and onto the floor, opening to the middle and a vision of a very frazzled Cheerilee.
"For the last time, Sweetie Belle, no I don't know why Thunderlane called your sister 'Marsemellow flanks', please GET ON WITH YOUR ENGLISH WORK!" she yelled, pulling out some clumps of her mane, causing the mad pony-
"Oi!"
It's true...Anyway, it caused him to cringe.
"That's enough of that..." he sighed, picking the book up with magic and slamming it shut. "Now then...What other books we got?"
He pulled out two books.
One a red of book with a large apple with a heart in the middle.
The other was a torn book with various punk symbols and what appears to be a very provocative version of the three flowers that stained the schoolmare's rump.
"Ok audiance, lets have a vote! Do you want 'The Teacher and the Farmer?" he asks, holding the red book high.
"Or do you want..." he sputterd with laughter as he read the other book's title.
"I-I'm good...Ahem...D-Do you want ''How many cocks can a single mare can take while high on Magic grass?'" he said, trying very hard not to laugh.
"Hoo boy, she's sooooo gonna hate this one going live..." he sighed. "Welp, get to work lads and lasses! Don't ask how I'll know, I'll just know..." he said, sitting down on a child's chair.
"We'll go to comercial while we wait. See you soon~"
