Twilight Sparkle Plays Hot Cockles

by Lost_Marbles

Rating: mature
Tags: Pinkie Pie, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1490

Twilight learns about a game called "Hot Cockles." She asks Pinkie Pie what kind of game it is. She shows her.

Twilight learns about a game called "Hot Cockles." She asks Pinkie Pie what kind of game it is. She shows her.

Edited by AlicornPriest
Pre-read by TheWraithWriter

Published 2015-01-11 14:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-01 09:56:59 UTC

HOT COCKLES! edited 11-10-15

Author's Note

This story is not clop, nor is it one of those bizarre fetish stories. It's tagged for sexual content.

It is based on an idea that came to mind after reading a Cracked article on weird old-timey games people used to play.

HOT COCKLES! edited 11-10-15

Twilight got herself comfortable in her new bed. She was so excited about the “Castle-Warming” party that Pinkie Pie would be throwing her tomorrow. All of Ponyville was invited and she was the guest of honor, so she needed to rest up well for tomorrow. Being the guest of honor at one of Pinkie’s parties could be quite exhausting.

After getting comfy under the covers, Twilight pulled out one of Princess Celestia’s old diaries that she had found in the Castle of the Two Sisters. She kept them with her and read them every day, hoping that Celestia’s qualities would eventually rub off on her.

Celestia, on top of being her mentor, was her idol. To Twilight, Celestia was perfect in every way. Celestia was always calm, wise, considerate, and wonderful in so many ways. Twilight could see no wrong in Celestia at all. If anyone were to say anything remotely negative about her, the word “blasphemer” came close to escaping her lips.

Opening up the diary where she just left off, Twilight continued to learn more about her idol’s distant and mysterious past.

Today was Luna’s birthday and she and I were very glad so many ponies showed up. The festivities were great, but the best fun of all was actually thanks to my dear sister Luna.

The game “Hot Cockles” was mentioned, which was very popular at the time, and Luna said she hadn’t heard of it. Since it was Luna’s birthday we decided to show her how to play and she would be the player. I volunteered myself to be the number two and the game begun. By the time she correctly guessed Star Swirl the Bearded, everypony was laughing so hard they could hardly stand.

Poor Luna will be walking funny for weeks, but it will be a fun memory that we will share with each other for the rest of our lives.

Fascinating! A game she never heard of that was played many years ago! By Celestia, no less! She wondered what kind of game this was. She would have to research it tomorrow. Pinkie would definitely love to add it to her repertoire.

Twilight put the diary aside and curled up under the covers. Tomorrow was going to be a fun day.

No matter where she looked, she couldn’t find it. In all the books that had been scavenged from the recently destroyed library, none of them even mentioned a game called “Hot Cockles.” It seemed that she wouldn’t be able to teach Pinkie about a new party game after all.

Oh well. Maybe Pinkie had heard of it. She’d get the chance to ask her in an hour at the party anyway.

The party turnout was amazing! Every pony in Ponyville had showed up. Twilight was so happy to be having such a wonderful time, and Pinkie was doing an excellent job as host, as usual.

As soon as she got the chance, Twilight pulled Pinkie aside. “Hey Pinkie! This is a fantastic party. You’ve really outdone yourself this time.”

“Oh thanks, Twilight! I am super-duper glad you’re happy! Especially after your previous home and most of your precious belongings were destroyed and…” A white hoof covered her mouth as Rarity stepped in.

“Darling, please! Let’s focus on the positive today, hmm?” Rarity said.

“Mmm-hmm,” Pinkie agreed through the hoof over her mouth.

Twilight got straight to the point. “Well, Pinkie, there is something I’ve been meaning to ask you. I heard about an old party game called ‘Hot Cockles,’ and…”

“HOT COCKLES!?” Pinkie screamed.

Twilight jumped back a bit. “You’ve heard of it?”

Pinkie nodded frantically. “Heard it? I LOVE IT! It is the best game, EVER!”

Twilight shouldn’t have been surprised. If it was related to parties, Pinkie was bound to have known about it. “So, what kind of game is it?”

Pinkie’s grin grew three sizes. “Why explain when you can experience!” Pinkie quickly turned around and shouted to the whole party, “Twilight Sparkle's gonna play 'Hot Cockles'! Everypony, get over here, NOW!” Cheers erupted throughout the castle.

Pinkie pointed at a sofa. “Bring that sofa over here, NOW!”

“YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!” shouted the stallion next to it as he pushed it towards Pinkie.

Pinkie turned to Rarity. “Do you wanna be the number two?”

“Do I?” Rarity giggled, jumped on the sofa, sat on her haunches and leaned back.

Pinkie then stood Twilight in front of Rarity and faced her to the “number two.” Pinkie shouted her command, “Everypony, stand behind Twilight, NOW!” and they all obeyed. “OK! The game of ‘Hot Cockles’ starts now! HOT COCKLES!”

Cheering came again, even louder this time from behind Twilight. “HOT COCKLES!”

Then came the clip-clop of hooves behind Twilight and the crowd behind her began to whisper and giggle with an enticing excitement. When Twilight tried to turn her head to look, Pinkie grabbed it and faced it back to Rarity. “Uh-uh-uh! No looking, silly!”

Twilight was more confused than ever; obviously these ponies had heard about this game as well. She guessed that living in a town with Pinkie meant you learned about all her games. “So, what am I supposed to do?” Twilight asked.

Pinkie giggled. “It’s simple! You just guess who’s standing right behind you!”

Well, that didn’t seem so exciting. Why was everypony getting so worked up about such a silly… MMPH! Twilight’s face was jammed down into Rarity’s crotch. She struggled to escape, but Pinkie held her head in place. Rarity let out a lewd moan.

“HOT COCKLES!” Pinkie shouted.

“HOT COCKLES!” answered the crowd.

Twilight tried to resist and pull back, grossed out that she just got shoved snout first into Rarity’s yoo-hoo, but Pinkie kept her in place. “Ah-ah-ah, Twilight! No peeking! You have to stay there until you guess who’s behind you!”

Twilight groaned. Fine, this couldn’t get any.. OW! Somepony kicked her in the butt.

She tried to move, but Pinkie held her down. “Uh-uh-uh! You gotta guess who that is!”

“Mmmm, Pinkie?” Twilight guessed.

Pinkie chortled, “No, silly, I’m right beside you!”

Another kick came. Her nose got pushed deeper into Rarity’s lap. Rarity let out another moan.

“HOT COCKLES!” Pinkie shouted.

“HOT COCKLES!”

“Applejack?”

“It ain’t me, Sugarcube!”

*Kick*

“Ow! Rainbow?”

“Nope, I’m over here!” came Rainbow’s voice from a distance. Rainbow leaned to the pony next to her. “I’ve got the strangest wing boner right now.”

*Kick*

Twilight snorted through her nose and Rarity twitched, “Nnnngh!”

“HOT COCKLES!”

“HOT COCKLES!”

“Uhh… Lyra?”

“Nope!”

*Kick*

“Bon-Bon?”

“Nuh-uh.”

*Kick*

“Mrs. Cake?”

“Not me!”

*Kick*

“Oooooh!”

“HOT COCKLES!”

“HOT COCKLES!”

“Owowow. Fluttershy?”

“Nope! She fainted.”

*Kick*

“OW, CELESTIA DAMMIT, THAT BUCKING HURTS!”

Pinkie let go of Twilight's head, “Party Pooper.”

After the game was over, Twilight was able to laugh it off with everypony else and continued with the party, however, her friends weren’t off the hook. Once the party was over, Twilight waddled up to her room. Her butt was sore. Poor Twilight wouldn’t walk right for weeks. She pulled out her and her friends’ journal and opened it to the first blank page.

“I’ve reflected on the unusual events today and I’ve learned several things.

"I learned that we all idolize somepony, but we shouldn’t let that blind us from who they really are. Whether it is ponies from the past or ponies in higher positions, there is always somepony we look up to. When we look up, we stare into the sun and can be blinded. The ponies we idolize are not perfect, have their flaws and weird sides, and can be just like us, because they are ponies. Just like us.

"I also learned that ‘Hot Cockles’ isn’t a game, but a prank disguised as a game. Like that one with the wooden spoons or the ‘atomic sit-up’ that Rainbow and Pinkie had me do last month. While I’m certainly glad everypony had a great time at the party, I’ll be giving Pinkie Pie a very stern talking to. And Rarity. And Applejack. And Rainbow Dash.

"The last thing I learned is that Celestia’s shoes hurt like a motherbucker.”

Bonus - April Fools Promotional Comic

Author's Note

A comic I did entirely freehand on my wacom to promote my story "Twilight Sparkle Plays Hot Cockles" (and in no way promote to promote my much better story:trollestia:) It was rushed, as you can see, as I did it all on one weekend.

This was for April Fools Day

Bonus - April Fools Promotional Comic