Colorblind

by Gray Compass

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Romance, Shining Armor
Length: 1311

The consequences of a broken personality can go far beyond depression. After an irreparable incident, Cadance's black and white mind must relearn how to love.

[Canceled]

Borderline,

A personality disorder, the essential feature of which is a pattern of marked impulsiveness and instability of affects, interpersonal relationships and self image.

When Princess Cadance finds out about Shining's affair with another mare, a long-forgotten side of her mind comes into play again.

Published 2015-01-07 23:00:05 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-07 23:00:05 UTC

Prologue

All those beautiful roses scattered on the marble floor…

Petals were fighting for space among countless glass shards, and reddish chunks of the now ragged curtains. Her delicate hoof ran through the pinkish strands of her mane, as she contemplated the scene before her. There was a luscious scent in the air that Cadance couldn't exactly define; it was a distinct fragrance; something sweet but at the same time metallic, a singularity that caused her to swallow hard, as a bittersweet taste involved her tongue. It smelled like a rusty kitchen sink, shortly after being vigorously sanded with a metal scouring pad, and thereafter cleaned with cheap detergent.

The peculiar smell filling that spacious chamber of the Crystal Palace was nothing else but the smell of blood. Royal, crimson blood. Cadance tenderly remembered the day when they picked up one by one, all the drapery, bed linen, and wallpapers – Pink or white? Textured or just plain? With stripes or arabesques? – She considered all the little details. But now, what remained intact from the blinds and bed sheets only served to conceal the – to say at least – macabre sight.

Unrecognizable – was the shortest word to describe that place. If there was something more shattered than the furniture, was Cadance’s heart. Her countenance seemed to be of frigid coldness and lifelessness – though, emotions weren't lacking; far from it – but her distorted thoughts were so broken and disturbed, that overly complex expressions turned out to be completely out of question. It was deep stillness after the thunderstorm.

She walked around adrift, leaning against walls and chairs, tripping over pillows and statuettes, touching the windows with the tips of her wings, allowing some feathers to fall. The princess finally approached his pale lifeless body – it was lying against their bed, his crystalline blue eyes staring at an empty space in front of her.

She caressed his crimson stained fur, feeling the contrasts between wet and dried parts of blood, which still oozed from the several open wounds generously distributed on his form. Soon, Cadence’s skin was as reddish as his – white chunks of fur intermingled with hers, as if she had just hugged a wet dog in a lousy pungent alley. Shining Armor looked like an unwanted stuffed toy who found the disgrace of being stepped upon by a crowd of hysterical children.

The cold-hearted murderer now wiped her tears, looking miserable as she collapsed over the bloodstained floor, in another nervous breakdown – this time directed towards herself – She let out an agonizing groan, plucking long strands of her multicolored mane with her own hooves, because she wanted to feel the pain, she wanted to make sure her granite heart was still alive. The cascade of tears that followed the act was strong enough to shake the princess to the bones. Her porcelain eyes looked around the room, looking for valid excuses. But unfortunately, there was none.

Through the glazed balcony, Cadance caught a glimpse of the glimmering city under the power of her scepter. It was just an average autumn night, not too cold, not too warm, and the delicate new moon was barely visible behind such a grayish layer of clouds bordering the uncertain horizon. Still, uncertainties aside, the princess was sure of one thing; there was no room for her in the Crystal Empire anymore. Not in the castle, not in the streets, not even the dried woods seemed to deserve her egoistic behavior. There was no place for murderers in Equestria, and Cadance was aware of this. Thoughts were running, fighting, crashing inside her mind, it was too much – too much to think, to ponder, but there was no time, the first choice was taken too quickly, and now there was nothing else to undo.

His pleads painfully echoed inside her pinned down ears – ‘Please, don’t do it babe, it isn't worth it darling!’ – But she did it anyway, and the mouth-coating dry flavor of alcohol, served as a souvenir of the last few hours; a recollection incidents, accidents, and misunderstandings, that inevitably lead her to the current state of mind.

Shining’s heart was this codex, that Cadance could never completely figure out.

Worth it or not, It didn't mattered – the consequences mattered, and she knew it, she knew long before it started, and now he was dead everything seemed so clear. The glorious Princess Cadance had just killed her husband with two velvet ropes yanked out of the curtains. She was so weak and desperate, that couldn't even think of a better way of ending their bonds. Instead, the alicorn just pierced his body with a fatal rain of glass shards, ending what could have been a perfect little love story. What an irony.

“I’m s-sorry- I’m so, so sorry my dear…” She muttered, pitifully walking away from his body. On her way back to the living room, she noticed it was almost time for dinner; soon a maid would come through the door and- No, that would be the end! The poor maid would inevitably see him, and Cadance would be forced to surrender. Soon Celestia and all the Canterlot scum would be aware of what happened to the Sparkle’s captain. She would be doomed!

Even if she killed the maid, or Twilight- No, that would only destroy her chances. What a shame, what a shame, she was freaking out again, veins throbbing, heavy breathing – Not again! – She said to herself.

Her pills, yes, the pills, she definitely needed them – She ran to the nightstand, the lampshade and portraits were thrown aside, she wanted the pills, they were supposed to be there, but – Shining Armor – she presumed – must have locked them; he was always trying to hide the pills anyway. – So she cast a spell on the nightstand, tearing the wood apart as a dead branch. Scouring the objects as they were scattered over a table, she finally found the medicine; four our five yellowish pills, that she dry swallowed at once.

She vowed to herself it was the last time. It was always the same thing, again and again, it would only end after all possible tears were shed. She just wanted to lie down on the couch and wait until the alkaline taste dissipated from the back of her throat, and the damned sedatives consumed her body again. But she couldn't.

Picking up a sharp broken goblet, and cautiously holding it with her magical grasp at her eyes level, Cadance made an astute, and possibly fatal decision – Better remembered as a brave kidnapped princess, than a wicked assassin. – She thought.

With that, she stabbed her own chest, and fighting against the excruciating pain, made sure to let her fresh blood drip around the room, and over their bed. It wasn't much, but would do its job when the incompetent guards scanned the place.

Cadance never imagined a day would come when such desperate measures would be required, but the day came, and her situation couldn't be more deplorable and shameful. But the worst part was yet to come. Once again she found herself staring at the beautiful stained glass windows, and realizing that beauty was ready to serve its purpose.

Every glass is unfortunately meant to be broken.

Silently wishing everything could vanish away, and Shining could wake her up with a smile and hold her, say everything would be fine. And they said magic was real…

Taking a deep breath, Cadance jumped, throwing herself out of the window. For a few seconds, it was freedom, for a few seconds she longed for death. Fear or cowardice, she couldn't say for sure, but as soon as she spread her wings, all the rest flew away.

From now on, she was missing.