Friendship is Optimal: Abandoned Reality
I woke up to the sound of footsteps inside the abandoned cafe I currently resided in and instantly my heart rate increased, ‘People?’ I wondered excitedly. I rose to my feet as fast my fatigued body would allow, ‘Damn, I should’ve gone to sleep earlier last night’, and raced out of the kitchen, into the dining area saying “Don’t worry, I mean no harm.” but it seemed as though my new company didn't agree as the bloody arsehole cocked his weapon and took aim, right at my throat. He was a shorter man with a gaunt face and dark unkempt hair; he had a black winter coat and jeans with a holster for his 9mm handgun. “Who are you?” he barked.
I snapped back “Well that’s a bit rude, don’t you think?”
“How so?”
“Oh, I don’t know, you barge in here and point your gun at me without even a civilized ‘Hello’ or ‘Hey, heads up, i'm gonna point my gun at you in a bit!’
“Hello, i'm pointing my gun at you, I don’t care, all I wanted was some food for my kids and then you come outta nowhere and scare the shit outta me!”
“Well that’s just too bad, because there’s no food here, go ahead, I already checked every nook and cranny but there’s not a scrap to be found.”
“Well that’s just too bad, because I don’t believe you and your smart-ass.” He advanced towards the kitchen; I stepped in front of him.
“And who the hell are you callin’ an arse?”
“I don’t have time for this, get outta my way!”
I kept his path blocked.
“No, I don’t like your attitude.”
This seemed to enrage him; I realized it after he tackled me and struck me in the nose with the handle of his gun.
“I said, stay outta my way.” He spat as he left the dining area. I could hear him opening the cabinets in the kitchen, looking for food. I took this opportunity to get my bearings and lock the kitchen door from the outside, ‘I knew it was a good idea to jam the inside lock last night.’
“What the- Hey! Unlock this door right now!”
“No, I told you that I didn't much like your attitude.” I said as I wiped some blood from my nose.
He started cursing and yelling obscenities at me as I calmly walked out of the cafe, and onto the empty streets of Austin. There wasn't a soul to be seen, ‘Getting food for your kids huh? Yeah right.’ It was midday, somewhere around ten o’ clock, I estimated. I walked down the alleyway next to the cafe, stopped at a certain rusty garbage bin, and retrieved my gear from inside; I had thought of this strategy after the last time I got robbed while I slept. I pulled the zipper on my backpack open and clicked my utility belt into place, then took inventory; matches, lighter, utility knife, first aid kit, canned foods, bottled water, assorted tools, flashlight, glow sticks, compass, iodine tablets, flare gun, extra flares, and a can of spray paint. I pulled out the flare gun, carefully popped the barrel down, and inserted a flare. I had found it in a surplus crate at an abandoned labor camp after all the other scavengers had left, I couldn't believe my luck when I found it ‘It may not be very effective as a weapon, but its one hell of a fire-starter’.
The street I was on went in two directions, east, and west. To the west I could see an intersection not far from where I was, and to the east the street kept going for as far as I could see. ‘Well, I don’t really have a set destination. West not what not.’ I chuckled at that. I started walking down the cracked and overgrown street.
I made my way to the intersection and saw a hotel down the street to the right; upon further inspection, I saw that the windows were boarded up and the door was broken off its hinges, I proceeded with caution. Stepping deeper into the main hall I saw a small breakfast cafe, a hallway leading to the first floor’s rooms, and a door leading to an emergency stairway. I could make out some distant voices coming from the stairwell, I wasn't alone. I ascended the stairs as quietly as I could, making sure to avoid shards of glass and broken tiles. As I approached the door leading to the second floor’s bar and kitchen, the voices became clearer, they obviously found the liquor stashes judging from their drunken laughter. I carefully opened the door and stuck my head in for a quick look; there were two younger men and an older looking woman, all of them looked stocky and tired, the men were wearing business suits that had seen better days and the woman donned a flak vest with a utility belt like mine. Upon further observation I realized that they were unarmed and that it was okay to approach them.
I rapidly knocked on the door to alert them of my presence; they jumped and quickly looked around. I said in the friendliest tone possible “Hello there, sorry if I scared y'all. Mind if I join you?” nobody said a word of protest when I sat down next to one of the ‘businessmen’. “My name’s Chris, my last name isn't important anymore. What’re your names?”
The man to my left was the first to speak, he had a thick European accent “I’m Carmel, he’s Barley, and she’s Petunia. You’re a brony, right?” he looked a bit worried, as if regretting that he asked.
I was relieved to have stumbled upon some good people. "Why yes, yes i am.” they all looked at me funny, as if shocked by my answer.
Petunia replied with a sad look “Nobody appreciates friendship anymore out here, or in the labor camps.”
I was surprised to hear that “What do you mean?”
The man to my right, Barley, leaned closer and said in an ominous tone “The Anti-Bronies mate, They despise us.”
That jogged my memory “Oh right, of course they still do.”
They looked to each other and smiled, Barley said “How many hugs does it take to get to the heart of an anti-brony? The world may never know.”
I laughed and Carmel passed me a bottle of booze with a hand-written label saying ‘Dos Equines’, I didn't usually drink beer, but when I did, I drank it in good company. He chuckled and held up his drink “To good luck and good company.”
“Cheers.”
Shortly after we all finished our drinks we were fixing to head out and do some scavenging. I asked them where we were going and they said there was a supermarket not too far from the hotel we were in. Their provisions were running low so I gave them each a couple cans of spam and said I could get more when we got there. When we walked out I looked all around for any signs of the man I left at the café, I couldn’t see him anywhere. That worried me a little, so I warned everyone and urged them to walk a bit faster. A few blocks down we spotted a group of medics; they had a white flag with a red cross in the center and a pink heart in each corner of the cross. “Who’re they?” I wondered aloud. Carmel took out a pink cloth from his pocket and waved it in the air while whistling to get their attention. They saw us and rushed over, looking a bit worried. They were a group of nine; all wearing white lab coats and toting large first aid kits, I think I even saw a couple defibrillators along with a few sets of crutches and medical braces.
The leading medic, a very pale looking lady, quickly asked us “How can we help you guys?”
Petunia took off her backpack and unzipped it while asking “Do you have any medical supplies you could spare?”
“Of course, what is it that you need?”
“Well, you see, I’m allergic to peanuts and shellfish. I know, what are the odds? But I need a few EpiPens, just in case I accidentally eat the wrong food product.”
She smiled and said “Sure, anything to keep you healthy and alive.”
Petunia had taken out a jar of salt and a couple bottles of water “Here, I’ll trade these for it.”
The medic just shook her head and chuckled “No ma’am, no trading required, keep those for yourself. Now which one of you had the spare pens?” one of the other medics approached Petunia and handed her three EpiPens and some band-aids.
“Thank you so much, I appreciate it. But I’ll feel bad if I don’t pay you; at least take this, I found it in a hospital but I have no use for it, maybe you could put it to work.” She handed them an ophthalmoscope and they immediately started checking to see if it worked.
One of the others asked “Where are you guys headed?”
Carmel spoke up “We’re thinking of doing some scavenging down at the nearby supermarket.”
The medic frowned and lowered his eyes, another one of them spoke for him “Don’t go, we just came from there and it’s not pretty. The people living there are in a bad way; most of them got E.coli because of a bug problem, the rest are sick and dying. We left the other half of our team there to tend to them while we went out looking for more medicine. If you’re willing to help, you’re welcome to come along with us.”
“Sorry, but we need to go looking for a place to sleep tonight, though I do know about a stash of supplies not too far from here. Down that street there’s gonna be a hotel, on the second floor in room 69 there’s a bed, under it there’s a key to room 70 the door that says ‘You gotta share, you gotta care.’ and that’s where the supplies are gonna be.”
“Great, thanks. I hope you guys get some good sleep tonight, it looks like there’s gonna be a storm coming in from the East.”
And with that we parted ways.
I was curious and a bit shocked at how they just revealed a perfectly good supply cache; I asked “Aren’t you afraid that they won’t leave anything for anyone else?”
Petunia gave me the stink eye and said in a hurt tone “Why would they do that? They’re a part of Redheart’s angels; you only join them if you’re willing to risk your life to save another, even if it means leaving perfectly good supplies behind for others to use.”
I was feeling guilty because I had found multiple stashes like that right after I escaped from the labor camp. It was almost as if they were left there for just such a purpose, I had found clean cloths, food and water, maps of the city. They were all marked with My Little Pony references, ‘Well fed in ten seconds flat’, ‘20% more prepared’, and ‘Chocolate, rain!’. “You’re right, sorry.”
They looked at me and smiled; Petunia said “Which camp did you come from, if any at all?”
“I came from an assembly line down south. The guards were nice enough, but they gave me a harder time because I was a brony.”
She whistled and grinned “Man, you probably haven’t seen another friendly soul in months. There’s absolutely nobody down there, it’s completely abandoned; every time we tried to help someone escape it always ended badly, so we gave up hope and left a bunch of supplies in the buildings nearby for anyone fortunate enough to get out.”
“I remember coming across a stash that said ‘Well fed in ten seconds flat’. That one was funny because it was my first good meal in days.”
Barley’s eyes widened at the mention of the food stash, he asked me “Where exactly did you find that stash?”
“I can’t really remember, it was at least seven years ago, why?”
He looked as if he were about to cry “What exactly did you find there?”
“There were cans of vegetables, I think, and a bag of sweets.”
He sniffled a little, “And did you see anyone there, or at least a body or something?”
I cast my eyes down “No, but I did see a message. It said ‘Im sorry to have left you, but the hay is always tastier on the other side, I’ll be waiting for you in equestria…’”
By then his eyes were red and I saw tears form at the edges “Mum, she’s gone now.”
Petunia took him in an embrace and said “Its okay, im sure your mother is watching over you from equestria, but for now you have us, right?”
He sniffed and wiped his eyes “Right, now let’s get going before I have an emotional breakdown.”
We walked in silence the rest of the way, slowing down every now and then for a water break, I could see a McDonalds restaurant about a block away from where we were. We took a quick peek inside to see if there was anything to be scavenged, there wasn’t a single scrap of food left, and all of the walls were tagged with things like ‘Marmalade was here!’, ‘Morning Glory rules!’, and ‘Sentenza’. I took out my can of spray paint and on the floor I wrote ‘Everyone is gone…’
Barley gave me a worried look and said “That’s some heavy stuff mate. Why so sad?”
“It’s not that im sad, it’s just what I do, and the words fit right in with the environment.”
Petunia looked to Barley, then back at me and said “He’s just a little sensitive is all. But he’ll get over it, wont you Barley?”
Barley then stuck out his chest and said in the manliest voice possible “Right, I am an alpha male! I reek of testosterone and masculinity! Nothing can move me!”
His voice had cracked at the last sentence and we all laughed, then Carmel said “Oh, don’t worry. You’ll get there eventually!”
When we had finally stopped rolling on the floor laughing, we got up and left to find shelter, it was already sundown and light was fading fairly quickly. Carmel had scoped out a nice little store to settle in for the night. And what’s more is when we arrived there was already a couple other people getting ready to turn in for the night, they weren’t bronies, but they didn’t discriminate so that was cool. They were having a hard time trying to light their fire, so I thought it was a good time to show off my flare gun. I told them to stand back and they were wondering why until I took out my gun and cocked it. They scooted away so fast I thought their butts would be scraped off. I shot the tinder right in the center and in no time we had a nice fire going. “So, what’re your names?”
The one to my left, a burly man with a long beard and a missing finger on his right hand said in a deep southern drawl “Muh name’s Randy, but you c’n call me brandy. That feller’s Jeremy, but ah call’m germ.”
“Nice, I used to have a friend back home who’s name was Jeremiah, he was a cool guy, till he emigrated, that is. I really miss him now, along with a lot of other people.”
Germ grinned and said “So you’re one o’ them bronies right? What’s yer nickname?”
I looked to Carmel and the others “Um, I don’t think I have a nickname, I didn’t really have any friends to give me nicknames until just recently. What do you guys think it should be?”
They took a step back and evaluated me, looking me up and down. Petunia said “Well, you have the perfect body type for a scavenger, lean, nimble, like a baby deer.”
Carmel added “Yeah, he does pretty healthy for someone who lives off of fifteen year old scraps.”
Germ snapped his fingers and said “Ah got it, Calamity, tha’s a pretty cool name.”
Petunia took out a knife and motioned for me to kneel, so I did and she tapped me on each shoulder and said “I dub thee Calamity of Austin, may good fortune find thee.”
Barley patted me on the back and said “So Calamity, what’s your next move?”
I smiled gazed at the fire, “I could go for a drink right about now.”
Petunia said “That’s what I like to hear!”
Carmel took out some drinks and passed them around while I talked to our new friends about trading. That night we all drank beer and sang songs, we even got the non-bronies to sing winter wrap up with us, it was the most fun that I had in months, and I loved every moment of it.
Carmel stood up and said “A toast to Calamity, for making it this far, he’s one of us now, and he always has been since the moment we met him.”
“Cheers.”
