Dining with the Kell - Edited

Edited by Aerigim

Sitting upon my throne I stared at the crowd of foreign ponies, looking at them all as I kept on petting the 'Princess of Love' Cadence as if she was a trained house cat.

How this came to pass, well we would have to go back thirty minutes.

THIRTY MINUTES AGO!

It was around the time I had finished talking with Bastion, apparently he wanted to know some of the tactics that the Fallen would use in battle and I told him what we usually did. We go in fast, hit the enemy hard from all sides and we leave just as fast. The enemy would either be dead at the point in a state of shock because they were not prepared for such an assault. Our tactics work better when we know the terrain we are about to fight on, we work better if it is in an enclosed area and we had the area rigged with explosives. Seeing how we don't have access to gunpowder we would have to go with the classic boobytraps of saw blades out of nowhere, spikes, arrows from small holes, the classics.

After that I went straight to my room to look over the tax forms and when I opened my door and my mind was screaming at me that something was wrong. When I left my room this morning I had locked the door after fixing my bed, when I came back just now the door was unlocked, the bedspread was slightly messy, and resting on my nightstand was a used condom...

"What...the fuck...who the fuck was fucking on my god damn bed!" There was only one person that is allowed to leave behind a used condom and it was me, whoever did this is gonna be scrubbing the toilets till Hell becomes a crowded mess.

I don't know who did it but they almost got away with it if they locked the door, fixed the bedspread and threw away the damn used condom but no, they fucked it up and now I am left with a used fucking condom on my nightstand. Whoever was fucking in here must have been holding it in for a while cause that thing is like an almost full water balloon. A very gross, nasty water balloon but still a water balloon...I swear to god if I find the bastard responsible for this there will be hell to pay.

Once I had disposed of the half full condom I proceeded to have a small mental breakdown. I was mentally screaming, thrashing, grinding my teeth and shouting at the heavens, hoping that whoever did this doesn't get caught because the things I will do to him will be highly unpleasant for both him and myself.

As soon as my mental breakdown ended I proceeded to leave my room and go straight to my throne room to have the word spread that someone defiled my room by fornicating in it and having the audacity to leave behind evidence of the act.

Storming into my throne room I started to shout and yell at everyone that was present which just so happened to be Glittering Quill, Bastion, Ms. Shining Pearl, a strange pink pony, a few nobles and a few civilians and of course a small contingent of guards.

"WHO THE HELL IS SO BOLD AS TO GO INTO MY ROOM AND FUCK ON MY BED!"

Everyone in the room turned their heads and looked at me, there was only two times that I have ever yelled at somebody, the first time was when I ran out of toilet paper in my bathroom, and that day was a trying time because I had to help Bastion train a new group of guards. The second time I had to shout was when I accidentally startled Forge and she mule kicked me in the nuts or well, where my nuts are located at the time which just so happen to be inside of my body instead of being external. She left a horseshoe sized dent in my crotch region and that dent is still there for everyone to see if I were to lift up the false loin cloth.

"WHO HAD THE AUDACITY TO HAVE SEX IN MY ROOM! THERE ARE LITERALLY OVER A DOZEN EMPTY ROOMS WITHIN THE CASTLE TO USE BUT INSTEAD THEY PICKED MINE!"

"How did they break into your room?" Bastion said as he looked at me, trying hard not to laugh. I don't see how this is funny, I don't go into his room and fuck on his bed and leave a damn reminder of what happened.

"I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT I SWEAR IF I FIND OUT WHO DID IT THEY WILL BE GETTING LATRINE CLEANING DUTY FOR A YEAR!"

"WHOEVER DID THIS COULD HAVE AT LEAST CLEANED UP AFTER THEMSELVES INSTEAD OF LEAVING A FULLY LOADED CONDOM ON MY NIGHTSTAND!"

"Umm...my Kell?"

"WHAT!"

"We have a...um...a foreign visitor here."

And just like that my anger was snuffed out and replaced by my usual calm, cool demeanor returns to me but for all intents and purposes I have dropped the ball on this one.

"Uh...sorry about that...someone did some unsavory things to my room when I wasn't around."

"It's okay, but uh can we get down to business already?"

"Oh yes, yes! Yes of course." I said before taking my place on the throne, my staff in my upper right hand as my lower right grabbed the armrest on the throne, lower left followed suit as upper left just hung itself over the side.

"Now, *cough* what business do you have with the Crystal Empire miss...?"

"Cadence, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of Equestria, and I am here to reclaim my throne."

And just like that I started to laugh, and by laugh I mean I laughed very hard, very loudly and also for a very long time.

The reason for my laughter is that this pink pony thinks that she can reclaim her throne when she hadn't even had her butt on it for even a second. I did my research while I was here in the first few months, before me was Sombra whom was killed by me, and before Sombra was two 'alicorns' to whom we still don't know their names. Apparently they got usurped when Sombra put on something called the 'Alicorn Amulet' which granted him pretty much godlike powers, the downside was that it corrupted the shit out of him and rendered him into a megalomaniac power hungry tyrant who met the unfortunate fate of pissing me off. Sombra apparently lost the amulet after he threw it to the side, saying that he didn't need its powers, not so wise seeing how well he is currently doing at this very moment.

By the time I was done laughing my ass off I had to wipe a fake tear from my eyes, I apparently can't cry for some reason, maybe the Fallen had no real use for tear ducts.

"Sorry, sorry...you see I would love to give you back your 'throne' but there seems to be a problem about that." I started as I spun my staff a bit, a bit bored that I was already getting an usurp attempt by a single pony who 'claims' to be a princess let alone have a 'claim' to the throne.

"But there seems to be a problem with what you're  requesting."

"And that problem is?"

"That you have no legitimate claim to the throne. You are an outsider who just arrived to a foreign land claiming something that is yours when it clearly isn't. I will hear your case but it will be automatically rejected."

"I am a Princess of Equestria, this province is still a part of Equestria and it was given to me by my aunt Princess Celestia. These subjects are mine to protect, not yours, and I came here to free them from King Sombra's control!" Princess Cadence shouted as she made her way up to my throne, my guards were about to intercept but I waved them off subtly, I want her to get closer.

"Well congratulations, you came all the way up here for no reason, sorry you got here and didn't get your reward that you were promised. You arrived here a year after Sombra has returned, you wouldn't have had an empire to rule because he would have either drained the life force of those that were still here which just so happens to be approximately four thousand crystal ponies. You would have arrived to have seen either a desolate city filled with the skeletons of those you were supposed to protect, their rapidly aged bodies barely clinging to life as Sombra sucks the life out of those that are left or what you are currently seeing, someone who beat you to the punch and saved them all from a grisly fate."

"I would have done something to defeat Sombra! Just because he is a master of the dark arts does not mean that I could not have beaten him! I was trained to fight against the foul magic that he has by Princess Celestia herself and I would have dethroned Sombra without having the need to kill him!"

"Oh really now," I said with a hint of amusement as I stood up and completely towered over the pink alicorn princess by three feet. I found that the average height for the crystal ponies is roughly four feet and three inches tall, Princess Cadence here is roughly five feet eight inches. I am standing tall and proud at eight feet ten inches tall, and by looking down at the alicorn I can see that she is now scared that she thinks she can bully me into giving up my throne.

"Do you really think that he would have let you come in, stroll right up to him and give him a one-two hit and reclaim the throne?

You were a year too late and even if no one was touched by his black magic you would still have to deal with a live tyrant in your possession, the citizens starving,cold, and weak from being imprisoned for a few hundred centuries and are looking for a leader to guide them to a better tomorrow."

"I would have given them a better tomorrow! As the Princess of Love I would have-" I cut Cadence off as she was about to ramble on about how love can help them.

"Do you really believe that love alone can help them?Do you think that love can help cure a sickness of the body? Can love feed the masses that are on the point of starving to death? Can love stop a coup from happening and throwing what little of a stabilized government into anarchy?" I said as Princess Cadence started to back down and lowered herself into submission, apparently she thought that love could unite the people to her cause.

Love could do that but it would be the first step in helping the kingdom but love can only do so much to help.

Kneeling down I pick up the the princess of love and walk back to the throne before sitting down and started to stroke her mane.

It was during the fifth month of my rule did I find out that ponies, regardless of size, loved to be petted like a cat and/or dog, they kicked their back leg when you scratched behind their ears, they nuzzle you when you scratch or rub their necks/chin, happy panting from belly rubs and they relax when you stroke their mane with a brush or hand. I don't know why they do that but it is amazing that it is easy that someone with hands can easily calm down or incapacitate a pony by petting them like a pet.

Once I was back on my throne I let my staff lean against the chair, my lower right arm scratching her chin, lower left stroking her mane and upper left scratching her ears. The result: a very calm, complacent princess who was pretty much jello in my hands.

"There, there princess, it is not your fault that you failed your aunt, you didn't know that I was here before you but you can assure her that I am treating them well and keeping them fed and safe. With Sombra gone you no longer have to worry about a power mad unicorn using dark secrets to harm those around him, and with my several dozen decades of leading experience I can guarantee that these ponies will be kept safe from harm...unless they bump their shins on a table, I can't help them with that." I said as I kept on petting Cadence who was right now happily enjoying herself.

It was at that time when I signaled for the horn to be blown on top of the castle to tell everyone that the situation has been solved. What I should have done was let the princess go and be on her way but she just looks so adorable right now in a strange, small creature sort of way.

Before long I was about to set Cadence down and let her go on her way but before I could put that plan into action the door to the throne room opens up to reveal Lieutenant Hammer and an entourage of guards with a group of un-crystalline ponies in the middle of them and all of them were now staring at me as if I did something wrong.

They were staring at me and Cadence in confusion, one was in anger while I was trying to figure a way out of this and Cadence looked embarrassed.

"Uh...this is...you know what, this is exactly what it looks like." I said as I looked at the group of ponies continued to stare at the two of us.

"What are you doing with my wife!" the white stallion in purple armor shouted as I realized that the mare in my lap was married.

'Oh balls...'

Lifting up the married mare I moved her to the side of the throne and placed her beside Glittering Quill before standing up, straightening myself out I proceeded to walk slowly up to the white equestrian pony in purple armor before looking down at him.

"I assume that the pink alicorn behind me is your wife, is that not correct?" I said with the air of command around me, I looked at him before my eyes went to his guards, studying them, trying to see if they are even worthy of being guards, two of them are visibly shaking in fear.

"Yes, Cadence is my wife and I would like to know why you had her in your lap."

"I had your wife in my lap because I was trying to soothe the pain of failure from her, you see when she showed up she was expecting to be facing Sombra, not me, and when she saw that he has been defeated long before any of you showed up she then had the audacity to try and claim the throne for herself when I had already done so a year ago."

"But this land belongs-"

"To me and the Crystal Empire. Do you really think that I would allow Princess Celestia and Princess Luna take this land for themselves after they had failed to properly defend it from Sombra the first time?"

"How do you know about-"

"One of the perks about being the ruler of a kingdom is having access to records and historically accurate books that are not censored."

"Anyways when your two benevolent princesses fought against Sombra they failed to dispel his connection to the Crystal Empire because he bound himself to it and the Crystal Heart, which at the time was fueling his powers further along with a cursed artifact that made him on par with them. If two alicorns who supposedly control the sun and moon couldn't completely defeat a single unicorn who had the same power strength as them what hope would you or Cadence or any of those with you had against him hmm?"

"We would have given him the boot and sent him back to that abyss he came from!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she tried to take off but she was stopped when Hammer looked at her and snorted, the giantess shaking her head only once and the rainbow maned pegasus crossed her hooves and let out a *hmph*.

"What would the alicorn of love, five royal guards, six civilian mares and a baby dragon have done to a powerful unicorn that received a majority of his power through an artifact, absorbing the life force of his subjects and a lost power amulet. None of you have the same power or strength to be on an even playing field let alone have a snowballs chance in hell to survive a few minutes against him."

"Oh yea! How did you defeat him then?"

"Easy, I let him shoot me in the chest with a black crystal and when he let his guard down and turned his back against me cause he thought he had killed me in one shot, I stood back up and ran him through with my swords before lighting him on fire."

"That's barbaric!"

"Honey fighting isn't glorious, it isn't glamorous, its bloody, and it is horrifying. Whether you are fighting up close or from afar you are taking someones life, you are cutting them down and fully knowing that you are taking a life just so yours can continue."

As everyone gets quiet I look at the baby dragon for a moment before ignoring it, it can't do anything to me anyways, the six mares are just as useless, the other four guards are fodder against me which only leaves the white unicorn and the pink alicorn as a threat.

"My point stands, none of you are capable of killing another living being while Sombra would have no trouble doing so, your lives would have been forfeit and where would you all be then. I saved you all the trouble of executing a tyrant and ruling a kingdom."

"Today all of you will be staying in the guest wing, including your guards, tomorrow you will be returning home back to Equestria and telling your princesses that the Crystal Empire is its own nation under one banner."

"All of you will have two guards as an escort and if you want to go somewhere you must first tell them where you are intending to go before departing, they will tell you where you can not go and what time you must be back here. If any of you break the rules then you shall be spending the rest of your day sitting in the corner with either a giant dunce cap or four hours in the stockades with a sign around your neck that says 'I am a rule breaker.', and I rather not humiliate a foreigner today." I said before sitting down on my throne, giving my staff a light twirl and waited for their collective response.

It didn't take them long to all agree to the terms I have laid out before them, Princess Cadence went back to her husband and they two were having an awkward moment together while I was busy trying to figure out his name along with those in his company.

"Excellent! Lieutenant Hammer, assemble an escort for each of the equestrian ponies, one ground and one magic and initiate security protocol beta. If there is a breach of security then I will hold you responsible for it Lieutenant." I said before a servant trotted up to me and handed me a folder, it was Shining Pearl's assistant so this folder I am holding must be this month's taxes.

Seeing how thin this folder is must mean that everything is in order and not a single citizen has had to ask for assistance or extra time to pay up. Hammer left the throne room by the time I started to look through the tax folder and after a few minutes she returned with the required guards.

Once all of the ponies received their respective guards they introduced themselves, I heard a few of them but I was mainly listening for the name of the white stallion which was Shining Armor, a fitting name for sure since his armor doesn't look like it has seen a single sign of battle.

When the equestrians separated to go do their thing I let out a shuddering sigh, I can only hope that those ponies don't do something stupid within my kingdom, common sense is hopefully a thing here and I rather not tell their families that they died because they were being incredibly dumb.

"My Kell is something the matter?" Quill said as she looked at me, concern in her eyes as I drag a hand across my mask covered face.

"Quill, I know for a fact that one of those equestrian ponies is going to screw up, it is only a matter of time."

"Do you have such little faith in those ponies, sir?"

"Yes, their princess refused to listen to my guards if what the horn that was blown at the wall means anything, that horn is meant to be used if an outsider has breached the walls. Seeing how she got here without an escort of guards then that means she didn't obey anything that was said. Princess Cadence broke a few laws by breaching the wall and ignoring the orders of a crystal guard, but I am willing to overlook it this one time, if she does it again then she will be thrown into the dark cells."

"Should I have that written down and sent to the guards that have been assigned to her?"

"No, I will tell her when it is time for dinner, tell the kitchens that we have guests for tonight and tomorrow morning. And also invite Forge, Shining Pearl, and Bastion."

"What of your new spy master?"

"Chroma Gem? Are you sure you want him to be there? Remember what he did last time he was at dinner?"

"Yes, sure he may have poisoned an entire noble house with an experimental sleeping potion but you know he didn't mean any harm."

"Quill, he put the sleeping potion in my soup and knocked me out for two days straight."

"You got better!"

"One of these days Quill...one of these days I swear you will find a way to get on my nerves." I said with a slight chuckle, I know that Quill is trying to make me smile and be cheerful but sometimes she tries a little too hard.

"Quill, just...*sigh* just be yourself my silly little pony." and with that I patted her on the head before leaving the throne room and heading straight for my room, hoping against hope that nobody else went in there and defiled it.

"Can you tell me your names?"

"My name is Cop-"

"It's Private and Private, ma'am"

"Please! What harm can come from me knowing your names?"

"The part where we would get latrine cleaning duties for going against protocol. The Kell ordered it so and his word is law."

"Augh! You stallions are impossible!"

"We try our best, ma'am."

"I am Princess Celestia's protege! Does that mean anything to you two!"

"Nope, you may be a princess's star student but that holds no weight here, you are not of noble blood, you are not a diplomat, merchant master, military officer or a member of the court. Wave your false title elsewhere and to those that actually care, I also bet you are not used to being told 'No' by anybody seeing how you are Princess Celestia's 'Protege'."

And with that Twilight shut up, her attempts to gain some insight on the Crystal Empire was shot down long before it could even take flight as they went to the library outside of the palace.

"So none of you heard of me either huh."

"Nope."

"Aw come on! It's Rainbow Dash! Fastest Flyer in all of Equestria!"

"Being a fast flyer means nothing if you are not coordinated, disciplined, and trained to fly properly instead of putting your wing power to its fullest."

"I so have all of those things and more!"

"Then prove it."

"Fine I will!" and like that with a flap of her wings Rainbow Dash shot into the sky and started to do tricks for the ponies on the ground.

It was when she was doing a triple barrel roll with a corkscrew did she finally mess up, her wing cramped up at the worst possible moment and went spiraling out of control before crashing into a tree, colliding with several tree branches before coming to a complete stop between two branches.

"Hehe, Rainbow Dash, more like Rainbow Crash. That will teach that hothead some humility and if it doesn't then it sure as hell knocked her down a peg or two." one guard said before flicking his horn on and lifted the beaten up pegasus out of the tree and onto the floor.

"Come on Quick Stitch, lets patch her up before taking her back to her room and let her sleep it off." the other guard said before getting some help with Rainbow Dash, the unicorn guard using basic healing magic for any light wounds she has acquired before the pair started to head back to the palace.

"Here we are Miss Applejack, the empire's orchards, please do try to not disturb the workers while they tend to the land and don't ask any questions about anything." Applejack's escort, Sweet Tart, said as she stood by the orange earth mare, her partner, Sharp Tack who is greatly relieved that he no longer has to be in Hammer's presence where there was a chance of being emasculated by the giant mare.

"Ah reckon I could do just that, no reason to upset the big fella on the throne." Applejack said as she started to look around the orchard, the two guards tailing her are keeping a close eye on her while also looking at the crystalline trees surrounding them.

"What a mighty beautiful sight this is."

"It sure is, I used to work in this orchard for a few years when I was younger."

"You used to work here?"

"Yup!"

"Why'd ya leave?"

"I left cause I wanted to have a purpose...I don't really know why but the farm life didn't feel right for me, I joined up with the crystal guard as soon as I came of age and I have been here ever since."

"Uh huh, well sugarcube I can't say the same about myself but I prefer the farm life, nice and simple work without much excitement 'cept for the occasional parasprite infestation or timber wolf creepin' out of the woods."

"Seems like you got your hooves full down south, I wish you the best of luck."

"Thanks hun, wish you luck to since there is Celestia knows what out there."

Applejack and her two escorts explored the different orchards that dot the acres of land that has been reclaimed, occasionally seeing guard patrols on the ground and scouts in the air. The farm pony talked for a while, some of it was with the farm workers and some of it with the guards, before long she decided that it was enough talking for now and just wanted to enjoy the beauty that was the crystal orchards.

"Miss Fluttershy can you please answer me, you've been standing there for the past thirty minutes." a guard said as she looked at the frozen buttercream yellow pegasus.

"Private, I think this one is scared stiff. Should we just take her to her room or to the medical-wing and get her checked out?" the other guard said before poking the pegasus in the side which does nothing.

"Nah, I am sure she will snap out of it eventually."

"And if she doesn't?"

"Then this will be an easy job for us then won't it?"

And it was an easy job, they stood like that all the way till it was time for dinner to start.

"Miss Rarity? Are you done in there yet? You said you wanted to visit the fashion district but you have been locked in your room for the past twenty minutes now!"

"Just a minute dears!"

"You have exactly one minute or else we will be staying here till it is time for dinner!"

"Just hold on for one second!"

Looking at each other then the door, both guards look around and agreed they would flip a gold coin to see if they should kick the door down and see what is taking so long or just wait it out. Before they could enact their plan the door opens up to reveal an ivory white mare with a well taken care of mane wearing a sundress with a matching sunhat, apparently she decided to try and blend in with the population.

"Well boys, shall we be off." Rarity said while fluttering her eyelashes, trying to seduce or at the very least get the stallions that are her escort to be more willing to let her get away with doing whatever she wants to do.

"Right this way Ms. Rarity." the guard on her left said with a small smile gracing his lips but before Rarity could press with her little ploy the guard was quickly yanked to the side.

"Private, remember what the Kell said, stick to the plan or else its latrine cleaning duty for a year! I did that job last week and let me tell you it is not an easy one!"

"But come on Prismatic! She's hot! We could show her the sights, tell her about ourselves and maybe go to a bar, the Kell would be none the wiser!"

"If we get caught disregarding his orders then I am throwing you to the wolves to take the punishment, cause I am not having any part in it."

"But Prismatic, she is hot!"

"I have a marefriend and I will not disrespect her by dealing with some strumpet from the south! Either you obey the Kell or you will find yourself patrolling the wall!"

Hearing everything that was being said about her Rarity kept her distance away from the unicorn guard, knowing full well that he won't say a word to her but when the other stallion walked beside her to say something they were interrupted by the others cough, signalling for them to keep on walking.

"Friggin idiot."

Their trip into the city was uneventful to say the least for the two guards, Prismatic Shard had to keep his lower ranking friend in line the entire time they were out escorting Rarity around the empire.

Once every single equestrian pony was gone from the throne room except for Shining Armor and Cadence and their escorts. They tentatively looked at each other before the white unicorn nodded at his wife and took a step forward and started to talk.

"Now that we are alone, Kell, I wanted to ask you a few questions if you could answer them for me please."

"I may answer your questions, but if I find the questions you are giving me are not to my liking then I will simply refuse to answer them."

"I understand."

"Good, then let us begin."

"When did you defeat Sombra?"

"Exactly one year ago."

"Hmm...that is roughly the same time that Discord escaped..." Shining Armor muttered out but I managed to catch it before he spoke up again, "How did you get here?"

"I walked." I knew it was a smart ass answer but I just had to do it.

"What exactly are you?"

"I am Eliksni." I can't find any other way to put this out but hey, at least this is being done on my terms.

"Where did you come from?" And here was the first question I will not answer.

"I...can not answer that question other then simply saying that I am not from here." I can't exactly tell them I am from Earth for a few reasons but the main one is that I can't tell them the name of the planet the Fallen are from cause even I don't know, even picking through Skolas's memories shows nothing.

"Alright then...can you tell me about your gua-"

"No."

"But-"

"All you need to know Shining Armor is that my guards are fully capable of protecting this kingdom from any threat be they foreign or at home."

"One last question."

"Shoot."

"Why was my wife on your lap?"

"Simple. She was there because I was comforting her failure on trying to claim the throne for Equestria. Let me ask you something Shining Armor, have you ever led anyone before?"

"Yes, I am the captain of the royal guards in Canterlot."

"And as the acting captain have you ever had to make a choice that could potentially put those in your command into harms way?"

"No."

"Then you truly haven't been placed in an impossible situation where lives are at stake and your decision alone determines who lives and who dies. Sometimes your friends are those lives that have been placed in harms way and any error in judgement or failed last second decision and you will have to deal with the consequences of your failures for the rest of your life, no matter how long or short it may be."

"Have you been-"

"Yes, several times, and none of it was easy. Heavy is the head that wears the crown and often times we must make the hard choices that can make or break us, I myself had to do it several times during my long life, the Whirlwind that shattered our world, the Eos Clash, the Battle of Iris and the Cybele Uprising. Several thousand lives were lost because of me, but several thousand more were spared, its the cold calculus of war, a few die here so a lot more survives there."

"How do you deal with it all?"

"I don't, the pain of lose has already numbed me to the point of keeping a distance away from those I am afraid of losing but

sadly that is one of the prices we pay for when we rise into a position of power." I said while feeling...hurt? Defeat? Agony? I don't know why I am feeling this but I know that myself have never personally felt that...it must be from Skolas.

Sensing my mental distress the pink princess starts to speak up but I hold my hand up, silencing her as I stand up and take a step forward before stopping right before my throne.

"I think that is all for now...you two may go, explore, talk...we shall talk further at dinner, for now just leave me be." and with that both equestrian ponies and their escorts left my throne room but before they could close the door I slammed my upper right fist into the throne, breaking it in half as the inner Skolas within me took over and vented out its anger in the only way it knows how.

Quickly scurrying out of the throne room in fear that they might next be the target of my anger they left me alone and in my loneliness I let out a frustrated sigh. Skolas's plan to unite all of the houses under a single banner has not only failed but those that are under his command have either deserted him, left him and those with him to his fate and joined the House of Exile, or are now fighting for control over what is left.

'Everything will get better, everything will be better.'

"Stop her!" a voice shouted from the kitchens as I made my way there for my mid-afternoon snack of two apples, usually food I eat would not have any taste or be good for me but such things I can't resist, I will eat just to keep up the appearance that I am like everyone else.

"No no no no no!" I heard one of the chefs shout as I round the corner to see a pink pony bouncing around, evading my guards at every turn.

"Stop her before she dents the pots and pans!" a different chef shouted out as the guards try to tackle the pink mare but fail utterly.

"Halt in the name of Skolas!" one of my guards said this in a loud, commanding tone but sadly that meant nothing to the pink pony.

"Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

"Quick grab her!" another guard said and before they could grab the pink pony I interrupt them by speaking up.

"Is there a problem in here gentlemen?" I said as I looked at the kitchen staff, the pink mare's two guards and six guards from a passing patrol

were all now looking at me.

Everyone was quiet as I walk into the kitchen, looking at every single guard then to the kitchen crew and lastly at the pink pony whose tail is wagging like a dogs and she had such an adorable look on her face.

While I was staring at the pink pony everyone in the room had only one thing going on in their head.

'We are so getting fired for this.'

"Uh...no sire there isn't a problem here!"

"Are you sure? Cause from where I am standing it looks like you have a problem here."

"Uh...uhh....yes sire, there is a problem. The pink earth mare who goes by the name Pinkie Pie has refused to listen to us as she ran off and explored the castle before stopping here. I take full responsibility for this sire."

"Don't worry Sargent Club, I will take care of this." I said before walking over to the pink pony sitting on the floor, still smiling happily and without a care in the world.

Kneeling down so I can get closer to the pink pony I saw that her smiling and tail wagging did not waver for even a moment, is she really that clueless of what I can possibly do to her?

"Pinkie Pie." I said in a gentle manner, trying not to be scary to the little non-crystal pony.

"Yup thats me!" the pink pony said with glee as she wagged her tail faster then before.

"Can you please stop bothering the kitchen staff and listen to my guards?" I asked the little pony as I watched her face scrunch up a bit, my guess is that she is trying to contemplate that order.

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie said in a happy tone, my guess is that you just have to ask her nicely.

'Wow that was quick...such innocence can not be corrupted.'

"Come on, time for your punishment." motioning her to the door I watched her stand up but I thought of something else I can do to her as punishment.

"Okay..." Pinkie said, now realizing what she has done and before she could say anything else I grab the pink pony by lifting under her legs.

Taking the pony to the throne room I proceeded to do the same thing I was doing to Cadence earlier.

I thought that it was adorable when Cadence tried to hide the fact that she was enjoying but this pink pony, my god not only was she enjoying every second of it but she was giggling, snorting and laughing as I petted her like a house cat.

Petting the pink party pony is an easy task, she relishes in having her belly rubbed, her ears scratched, her chin scratched and her back petted. I swear this pony is overly enjoying this because the sounds she is making is rather...raunchy to say the least, all of her moaning and groaning, constantly flipping around end over end, is this what cats like?

The other ponies that are in the throne room are either ignoring the sounds she is making, ignoring the fact that I am treating her like a house pet, or just ignoring her in general, a few can't imagine that she isn't there and are instead treating it as if she wasn't here at all. Running my court while petting a small pony went by smoothly as one can hope with the exception that a few of the ponies that show up ask why she is on my lap or if they can have a turn.

The few who asked who she was I simply answered that she is a foreigner from the lands of Equestria to the south of the empire.

To those that asked if they can have a turn, I told them that they would have to wait till tomorrow. I got a few complaints from those that showed up, I guess they didn't want to wait for their turn. Do they even know that I am pretty much treating them like a cat while I do this?

It wasn't long before the guards returned with their escorts in tow, the buttercream pegasus seems to be moving on her own power but whenever I see her looking at me she hides behind her mane and quivers in fear. As for the other ponies the rainbow maned pegasus has bandages on her legs, snout and wings. The orange earth mare is happily talking to the injured pegasus while munching on an apple. The white unicorn mare was frowning a bit as her two escorts are bickering like an old married couple. The lavender unicorn mare is reading a pamphlet with a smile on her face, I guess she went to the public library and had a blast if the look of extreme boredom plastered on her guards faces is anything to go by. Then lastly Shining Armor and his wife Princess Cadence, those two must have been talking about me because they were staring at me with mild concern but their eyes immediately went from me and straight to Pinkie Pie along with the other ponies.

"This one is helping me relieve my stress, it is working wonders." I said while petting the pink pony, even while wearing leather and metal armor I can still feel the softness of her fur.

None of them questioned it until Applejack, the orange farm mare spoke up.

"Uhh...why is Pinkie Pie sittin' on your lap like that?" and the unspoken question that is on everyone's mind is released into the wild.

"Because she was messing with the kitchen staff earlier and was not listening to her escort's and a passing patrol of guard's command to cease and desist, this is her punishment." looking at the farm mare then to the pink mare in my lap, this pony is teeth rottingly adorable.

I wonder if I can weaponize cuteness?

"That doesn't look like much of a punishment from the way I see it." Applejack says, it makes sense that it isn't a punishment but I rather not have her publicly shamed or placed in the dumb corner.

"Eh, it's keeping her calm and in a content state, I'd rather have that than have her bouncing around causing mischief and discontent among those working in the kitchens." I said as I looked down at Pinkie Pie, she was lying on her back, my hands scratching her tummy and her chin at the same time, her hind left leg kicking repeatedly in content.

"Fair enough I suppose." Applejack said before finishing her apple in one last bite, pretty much eating the entire thing.

Silence reigned supreme in the throne room but was removed when a servant came in and said that dinner is ready.

Getting up from the throne with the pink one in tow I walked off of my throne before heading straight for the door, the dinning hall isn't that far away and it is high time that I enjoy something other then snacks or crystal candy.

Eating dinner with nine strangers is a bit odd, no one was talking and those that were are either talking to their friends or are trying to talk to my staff and are being ignored until I gave them the 'go-ahead' which set in motion something I couldn't stop.

"So...Skolas is it?" I nodded my head the lavender unicorn as she continued, "I am wondering, what exactly are you?"

"I am Eliksni, but to the other races we have encountered throughout our existence, their languages translate it to 'Fallen', and in the end we have taken that name as our own as we have lost much of ourselves over the centuries." I said while tapping into Skolas's memories of the past for me to use.

"What exactly have you lost?" Rarity says, now generally intrigued by what is being said.

"Our homeworld, our people, our bodies, our history, and what little of our culture we have left." It is fun using someone else's memories to keep up a facade.

"How did all of this happen to your people my Kell?" Shining Pearl asked me, bless that strict mare's heart.

"We called it the Whirlwind...a force of great evil swept over our lands like the snows of winter, it destroyed everything within its path and when the other Fallen Houses had managed to flee we knew that day that we truly lost everything. We had to change our bodies in order to adapt to the new worlds we found, but we could never stay, not with the darkness constantly moving. The darkness came and went, twisting and turning in every which way, turning us into a nomadic race just to survive, borderline being piracy when it is dire."

"When you mentioned that your kind's bodies have changed to survive...what do you mean by that?" Twilight asked me as I see out of the corner of my eyes a hidden notepad with a quill scribbling everything down.

'Where did she get that?'

"We can no longer gain nutrients and proteins from normal food like you ponies can, we instead have to consume something else to survive." I said as I remember my Fallen Lore from the game's grimoires.

"And that is...what exactly?" Twilight said as everyone, including my own staff leans forward, wanting to know what it is that I use as sustenance to stay alive.

"I can't tell you, can't let that particular piece of information out." I said with a grin underneath my mask, sure enough I heard every single pony in the room groan.

'The only real reason as to why I haven't starved yet is that I can somehow process food of any kind and get what I need from it without suffering from any sort of stomach problems.'

"And what would happen if you left your kingdom to go on a diplomatic mission? How would those you are going to visit be able to feed you?" nice question Shining Pearl but I already had that problem solved.

"By giving me food that they have available, just because my body can't properly digest what you ponies eat doesn't mean I can't still get what I want out of it, it would just take a long time for it to work right." a lie I let out but a necessary lie.

"Uh huh...anyways I have something else to ask you." I gave her a nod, letting her continue, "You said your people were nomadic, is there more of them here with you?"

I shook my head no.

"I am the only one of my kind here, when I led the my House to rebel against the Awoken to unite all of the Fallen Houses under a single banner they placed a bounty on my head to prevent such a thing from happening, calling in the Guardians from the City of Earth to stop me. They interrupted my plans and when I started to crack under the pressure I took a more...drastic step. I broke into the Vault of Glass in search of new means to get what I wanted, I stole the gift of freedom from the Vex and used it to bring the entire House of Wolves throughout time to assist me in my endeavor, but even then it wasn't enough as I was defeated and captured before being sent to the Prison of Elders."

"It was there did I truly take a desperate course of action, within the prison was a Vex machine, The Forever Eater - Qodron, and with it I used its broken body to partially repair the Gate it was next to and used it to escape from the prison and ended up here. I can not be followed because I did a blind jump through space and time, I don't know if I have entered an alternative dimension or the distant future or past, either of those choices is good enough for me."

"I have a question of my own if you would kindly answer it."

"Uh...okay?" it seems that the young mare is unsure if she should answer me or not, time to test the boundaries a bit.

"I heard that Shining Armor and Cadence here got married recently but there was a problem, just what kind of problem was it?" I said, if what my spies have told me is correct then she should answer me that they were attacked by a race called 'changelings', I don't know what they are, what they look like or what they are capable of doing but if they can interrupt a wedding then they are definitely at the top of my watch list.

"Well, at my brothers wedding-"

'Oh shit, those two are related?'

"-they had received a threat and the entire city was encased in a magical barrier, we thought it was just a joke but then I found out that someone was impersonating my foalsitter Cadence-"

'Are you fucking kidding me! Your brother married your foalsitter who just so happens to be a princess?'

"-and when I confronted the impostor it turned out to be the changeling queen when she dropped her disguise, and she also had my brother under a mind-control spell-"

'A species that is capable of transforming into other races and can induce mind-control on others? I better watch out for these changelings, new protocols must be created and enacted!'

"-and when she revealed herself she teleported me to an underground crystal mine that was just underneath Canterlot where she was also holding the real Cadence. The two of us escaped from the mines and showed up just in time to stop Chrysalis from being married to my brother-"

'Wow, imagine that, the old switcharoo being used, instead of marrying the women of your dreams you instead get a bug queen...I can't even imagine what that would be like to have sex with...let alone getting a blowjob from one, since insects have mandibles and sharp teeth.'

"and when she revealed herself in front of everypony present at the wedding and well, long story short Cadence snapped my brother out of her control and used a special spell and blasted every single changeling out of Canterlot and scattered them to the wind."

'Wow...holy shit.'

"Interesting...and what was the changelings plans? Surely they wouldn't invade another country for no reason, having your brother married to their queen couldn't be their only plan."

"No, their plan was to cripple the equestrian guards to capture as many ponies as possible before capturing any that they find to feed of the pony's love." that actually sounds like a solid plan...maybe way too ambitious but still a lofty goal to accomplish.

"Really? Shapeshifting bugs feeding on love to survive? That is just...just...the lamest thing I have ever heard! You can't eat an emotion! It's not a solid, liquid or gas! How does one eat an emotion in the first place, that is just absurd!" I shouted, I know for a fact that one can not eat emotions, that is just silly now. Its like saying that someone can crap out gold and piss excellence.

"I know right! I still haven't figured it out either but I can only assume its like reading someones memory and eating that...or something similar, I don't really know the facts yet." My god I think this mare is a turbo nerd...I wonder if we will become friends in the future.

"What do these changelings look like?" I asked, needing to know what these things look like so I will know what to hunt for in the future.

"Oh they are pretty much insect-like ponies, black in appearance, chitinous hide on their back, insect wings, fangs, forked tongue, hisses and clicks a lot, solid eye colors and they don't have a mane or tails, oh and they also have a horn." Twilight said as she looked up a bit, trying to remember what she last saw of those bug ponies.

'Hmm...that is very easy to pick out, now if they bleed a different color then you can easily find out who is a spy and who isn't.'

"Thank you for the information on a potentially hostile race Twilight, maybe sometime in the future when relations are built between Equestria and the Crystal Empire are made you could come by and visit, I am sure there is much we can learn from each other on reasonable grounds." I said with a smile before rising up from my seat while holding a wine glass in my hand.

"To a new future with new friends!"

"Aye, hear hear!"

As soon as everyone raised their glasses in agreement we ended our feast and went back to our rooms, I went down to the crystal heart for a reason but it was for myself to know and others to figure it out.

'Now my dear sweet crystal heart...tell me more about these...changelings.'