Who Ate The Bananas?

It was already too late, Celestia set up the mirror and called for both Twilight and Spike to come over. Spike came alone, which greatly confused Celestia, who immediately asked him,

"Spike, why are you alone?"

Spike, huffing and puffing, trying to regain his breath, hands on his knees and wheezing. "Twilight told me to continue alone, and that she had something to go do... It sounded really important."

His dragon semen will do just fine one of these days, I suppose, Celestia thought with a devilish smile stretching across her muzzle. She narrowed her eyes and looked over Spike closely, giving him a nudge on the shoulder. "Rarity is in despair, and I wanted you and Twilight to visit her, y'know? To let her know that friendship is truly magic. Twilight was supposed to go, as she is the princess of friendship, but seeing as this is Rarity and nopony else... you'll do just fine alone. If Twilight comes, I won't let her pass. I'll occupy her with a different task... or, perhaps..."

Spike was already gone through the portal, and she noticed that the moment she nudged him, he was off as if given a signal to go.

She chuckled at his naivety and used her magic to teleport herself a table, some scones, and some tea. She also brought Luna, on whose flank was a note. Celestia, drinking her tea, noticed the note and used her magic to grab it during her long sip.

To my dearest mare in crime, Celestia...

What you have done is under your control, for I know about your Molestia side's recurring churns. It pains me to see you fully abke ti understand I am pulling the strings ans yet you remain perfectly calm. I need not to know why this is, because I already made a fairly accurate guess that you have deleted my control over you from your dear student Twilight. I won't let her come to you, for you'll only turn her against me as well.

To make this shorter and sweeter than the lengthy and bitter letter which I initially planned to write, I'll merely say this...

"THIS MEANS WAR."

With love and may Harmony be ever in your favor and chaos the thorn in your side...

-Discordius

P.S. You smell like tuna and cheese.

Celestia laughed and crumpled up the letter, throwing it away and swallowing her tea rather suggestively. She used her horn to open up her cellar, which was located right beside her study, in between two peculiar bookshelves. Cadance and Shining Armor walked on through.

"What shall we do for you, my queen?" they both said monotonously, bowing before her as she dressed them in black hoods and continued eating her scones. Much a tyrant she was to not care at all that she was talking with her mouth full.

"Equoid 1: Mi Amore Cadenza Model MK V, Equoid 58: Shining Armor Model MK X," Celestia addressed them fully in an assertive tone. She stepped in front of them and they rose, poised to take orders like the soldiers they were. Expendable. Dependent on tyranny and war. Heartless. Robotic. "Find and locate Twilight Sparkle. Give her orders to meet with Luna, Cadance, and I in this very room immediately. Tone to use: Desperate and demanding. Tell her before she enters Canterlot that Spike has been kidnapped, as she will most likely ask what I want and where is Spike at this time. 'Project: Breakfast' is only beginning."