Family Secrets: The Reveal

by Schrodinger's Pony

Rating: teen
Tags: Sad, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy, Other, Romance, Octavia, Random, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 51539

The Mane Six are keeping secrets from each other. All of their secrets are uncovered.

Fluttershy has a secret. A secret that will lead the mane six on an epic quest to save Equestria. As her best friends try to cope with this discovery, they discover that each of them has a secret to share, and nopony wants to be the first to share theirs. Can the Elements remain in harmony long enough to save Equestria from a dastardly villain?

Warining: This could be considered a crackfic. Your mind will definitely be blown at least once.

Part One of the Family Secrets Saga.

Published 2012-05-02 20:34:03 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-08 04:36:17 UTC

Another Royal Wedding?

Rainbow Dash flew over to Fluttershy’s cottage. Normally, Rainbow Dash wasn’t one to get suspicious about her friends. She left all of that stuff to Twilight. But this time was different.

This time, she’d read Daring Do and the Mystery of the Marvelous Magician.

She’d been inspired a lot by Daring Do’s books and she was itching to find a mystery of her own so she could emulate the awesome mare. As far as her books went, to solve a mystery all you had to do is look at all of the facts available, and then come up with the most impossible I-never-would-have-guessed-that explanation possible! Mystery books were exciting that way.

But now she needed a mystery, which was why she was at Fluttershy’s house.

Something was up with Fluttershy. She was gone for the whole week of the dragon migrations. Not just hiding; gone. And before that, she'd actually managed to knock her back. Her! Rainbow Dash! She'd hit a cliff, and the cliff cracked before she did! How did Fluttershy manage to do that?

Personally, Rainbow Dash suspected aliens. There, first part of the mystery, come up with an answer that nopony could guess, was solved. Now all she needed was clues to prove it, and she'd be the best detective ever!

She knocked on the door. When she didn’t hear anything she crept inside.

She was stealthy. Almost… dare she think it... like a ninja. She was Rainbow Dash, the ninja detective.

"This is so awesome." Rainbow Dash snickered.

And then it hit her.

‘It’ in this case, being the foot of Fluttershy’s pet rabbit Angel.

With a cry, she settled into her kung-fu stance, but Angel’s kung-fu was too strong. If she was a ninja, then angel was Buck Norris. After several well placed roundhouse kicks to the face, Rainbow Dash was knocked out of Fluttershy’s cottage, and onto her back.

Looking up, she saw several of Fluttershy’s critters looking down on her.

“You will speak of this to nopony.” Rainbow Dash commanded, before she took to the skies.

~O0O~

The six ponies known as the Elements of Harmony lay down on a picnic spread on the hills just outside of the small town of Ponyville. The birds sang, and Celestia’s sun beamed down on them. It was a week after Twilight’s brother Shining Armor got married. Everypony was happy, and munching on daisy sandwiches. Except Pinkie, who was having cupcakes.

“Wasn’t that the most glorious wedding you’ve ever been to?” Rarity sighed happily.

“It was wonderful.” Fluttershy said, sighing quieter.

“It was the most teriffickest party that’s ever been for this whole month!” Pinkie said. “I’m gonna top it though.” She said smugly.

“What?” Rainbow Dash perked up. “What party could possibly be cooler than that? It was a royal wedding!”

“Yeah, I know that silly filly.” Pinkie Pie giggled. “But I’m gonna top it!”

“How do you top something like a Canterlot wedding?”

“One of my friend’s birthday parties of course?”

“Really? Who’s birthday is it? Spike, take a note!” Twilight was, of course, all over the scene.

"Uh, Twilight?" Applejack asked. "You do know Spike's not here right?"

Twilight looked at the empty space behind her, then blushed. "Of course I know that. It's just... I've recorded each of your birthdays. So far, I only know Applejack's and Pinkie Pie's. So whose birthday is it this time?"

“It’s Fluttershy’s of course!” Pinkie cheered. “The big 2 0!”

The golden pegasi, who had, up until this point, been relaxing, suddenly sat upright with an ‘eep’. “Oh no! I completely forgot!”

“It’s alright Fluttershy.” Twilight said with a smile. “I’m sure we’ve all been to busy to remember out birthdays at some point.”

The other four ponies looked around at each other with confusion.

“Forget… Brithdays?” The sound of gears screeching to a halt came from pinkie’s mind, and her face twisted into an expression of stunned disbelief.

“Or maybe it’s just us two.” Twilight murmured.

Rainbow Dash poked the pink party pony, who promptly fell over. “I think you broke Pinkie Pie.”

“Well Fluttershy, did you have any big plans for your big day?” Rarity asked. “More importantly, do you have any plans for what you’re going to wear?”

“Um… yes.” Fluttershy said. “But I… don’t really want to…”

Suddenly Spike came running up to them. The dragon stopped for a moment to catch his breath. “Could you guys… maybe have… your picnics… a little closer to the library?” He gasped.

“Do you have a letter from the Princess?” Twilight gasped.

“Yeah.” Spike huffed.

“Oh no!” Twilight gasped. “This is terrible! She only just wrote to us last week to attend a royal wedding! If she’s writing again so soon, it must be for something as urgent as that! Or even more urgent?”

“What could be more urgent then a Canterlot Wedding?” Rarity asked.

“Maybe the Canterlot Society for Biological Protection has accidentally created a virus that will mutate ponies into zombie ponies! Maybe the ravenous hordes of zombie ponies have already overcome the royal Canterlot Guard and Princess Celectia with zombie magic and are on their way here right now! Maybe they need the book I accidentally spilled some of my breakfast on yesterday to stop them, only they can’t, because now nopony can read it!”

Everypony stared at Twilight.

Pinkie jumped up. “Did you just say new ponies were coming to ponyville?”

“That seems mighty unlikely sugercube.” Applejack suggested. “Spike, why don’t you give Twilight her letter.”

“It’s two letters actually.” Spike held up an old looking roll of parchment with a Canterlot Sealed scroll attached to its front. ”And they're for Rainbow Dash, not Twilight."

“Ooooh, a letter inside of a letter.” The wheels in Pinkie’s head started turning again. "I wonder if it's possibly to make a cake inside of a cake." She gasped. "Can you do that? A cake inside of a cake? Or is that too much cake for any one pony to handle?"

Twilight unrolled the first one, the one from Princess Celestia, and read; "'Dear Rainbow Dash. Thank you for the wonderful prank, this one was very clever.'"

“Huh?” Rainbow Dash looked confused. “But I didn’t prank her! … This month.”

Twilight decided not to argue with her friend, and let the next letter speak for itself. It was slightly more difficult to unroll the second scroll, but thankfully she had magic. “Then was do you call this? ‘To Her Royal Majesty Celestia, The Queen-Who-Would-Be-Called-Princess, The Sun-Bearer, The Sky-Master, The Gemstone-Maned, The Great-Trickster, The Unseen-Hand, The Mirror-Match of All-Dragons, The Gardener, and The Sunland Lord. To She-Who-Has-Many-Names, I, Smaug, offer you an invitation to the Nightlands, so you may witness our daughter’s wedding.’”

“Oh my goodness.” Fluttershy gasped. “I had no idea Princess Celestia had so many honorifics.”

“This doesn’t sound like a prank from Dashie at all.” Pinkie said, scrunching up her nose. “In fact, it doesn’t sound funny at all.”

“You’re right.” Twilight said. “But I haven’t read all of it yet.”

“Oh! Maybe there’s a punchline?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“Oh dear.” Fluttershy hid her head.

Twilight kept reading. “'I, Smaug, know you would be worried of the daughter-of-your-heart attending as a bridesmaid, and so invite you to let your mind rest. I also believe that my daughter’s marriage will bring about a new age of peace and co-existence between dragons and ponies.'”

“Celestia has a… daughter-of-hearts? What’s a daughter-of-hearts?” Rarity asked, her eyes wide, as she leaned over to try and peek at the scroll.

“I don’t know.” Twilight said.

“It’s a dragon term.” The others turned to stare at Fluttershy, whose quiet voice the unexpected source of this new information. “It means… somepony you think of as a daughter, but who really isn’t.”

“How did you know that?” Twilight asked. “Spike and I searched the whole library for anything on dragon culture, and we couldn't find anything!”

“I just… um…” She waved at the note. “Maybe you should… keep reading…”

Twilight, eyes wide now, continued to read the note. “I hope that you and your Elements of Harmony will be able to forge a new bridge between Dragons and Ponies, even as we enjoy the blessed wedding of our daughter, her royal highness… Fluttershy, The Unblinking?”

All eyes turned to the pegasus, who was hiding behind her mane.

“Boy, this is a good prank Dashie!” Pinkie Pie laughed. "It's not very smart though. Fluttershy's not a dragon!"

“It’s not a prank.” Fluttershy whispered. “I meant to tell you about it sooner, but… um… I’ve sort of been raised by dragons. Specifically… the King and Queen of dragons. And they want me to marry somedragon on my twentieth birthday.”

Reactions varied.

Rarity gasped. “Fluttershy’s been raised by dragons!?” She fainted and collapsed backwards.

“Why didn’t you tell us this before now?” Applejack asked.

“I didn’t want you to be scared of me.” Fluttershy whispered. “Please don’t be scared of me.”

Rarity shot upright and gasped. “Fluttershy’s getting married!?” She fainted again, this time on a pillow, absentmindedly put down by Twilight.

“We’d never be scared of you sugarcube.” Applejack said.

Pinkie Pie gasped. “Oooh! Guys, you know what we should do?”

“Allow me to take a wild. Guess.” Twilight said, almost glaring at Fluttershy.

“PAAAAARTYYYYYY!” Pinkie Pie cheered.

Rarity shot upright and gasped. “Fluttershy’s turning twenty?” She fainted again.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Twilight asked. “You knew we’d find out about this marriage anyways! Why would you keep it from us? Do you want a repeat of Applejack’s silver medal panic?”

”That was a one time thang.” Applejack said crossly.

“I’m sorry, I meant to tell you, but I got so distracted by Princess Cadence and Shining Armor’s wedding.”

Rarity sat upright and gasped. “Fluttershy… do dragons wear wedding dresses?”

“Yes.”

“Then I will design yours!” Rarity cheered, and fainted again, this time with a wide smile on her face.

"You must know all about dragons!" Spike realized. "Can you teach me about them?"

Something suddenly clicked for Rainbow Dash. “Man, this would totally explain why the first time I met you, you were playing King Of The Hoard!” Everypony stared at her. She blushed back. “Okay, maybe I’m not the best detective in the world.”

The Dragon in Pony's Skin

Lady Babbage was griffon-watching.

She was an avid bird watcher, and griffons were the most fascinating birds. She pressed herself closer to her giant binoculars, as she watched them circle through the air.

Lady Babbage was not a beautiful dragon, but she was what passed for ‘cute’. She was on the small side, with oversized forefangs poking through her beak’s lips. The moajority of her scales were a glistening violet, but the scales on her underside were as gold as the sun. Her wings were large enough to be unwieldy in flight, but she could wrap them around her, to give her the appearance of wearing a cape, or resting in a cozy blanket. Her tail was practically non-existent.

It was a good thing then, that she’d had the fortune to mate Lord Stockholm. Lord Stockholm was the leader of her pack, which meant she was an honorary member of the Great Pack. He was a strong dragon, a decade older then her. He didn’t have a beak, but she preferred him with his strong jaw. His tail was long, oh so long, and his wings were short but powerful. His scales were mostly a daring red, with his underside scales a calming ocean blue. He’d often go into the Sunlands, just for the adventure of being in a place filled with monsters, and they’d met while she was bird-watching.

She was lucky to have him. Oh, so lucky. They were on their first anniversary, and they hoped that this time they would find an elusive phoenix to add to their collection.

“My falcon.” She started, as he approached her from behind.

“Oh! Stockholm, you gave me a start. I thought that…” She froze, as he presented her and apple tree.

“I’m sorry I’m late my beautiful Falcon, but I saw one of your favorite trees, and I decided to treat you.” He held out an apple tree, like it was a bouquet of flowers.

“Oh, my wonderful Eagle, you shouldn’t have!” She accepted the tree, and gracefully roasted it. She at the delicious top off of the roasted apple tree, and since he was watching, she made sure to chew very, slowly.

“That was delicious my Eagle.” She stroked his chest with her beak.

“Only the best for you, the apple of my eye.” He pulled her close, and wrapped his tail around her, in a way that made her inner schooldragon ‘squee’.

But before their romance could progress further, the unthinkable happened. A small cry rang out through the grove of trees.

“What was that?” The pair of them looked around. Queen Babbage saw it first in her binoculars. “Oh, look Stockholm!”

The two of them crept forward cautiously. The carriage was turned over on its side, griffon marks scratched all over it. There were some bloodstains and a loud crying sound.

“Be careful.” Lord Stockholm whispered. “This is a pony carriage. It might be a trap.”

Lady Babbage shook the thought that if the ponies used one of their own babies in a dragon trap then they really were as monstrous as the legends claimed. She pushed one of the curtain aside, and found herself staring into the most beautiful eyes she’d ever seen. They were the same shade of blue as Stockholm’s, so clear and pure, framed by a face that, even though it belonged to a pony, she had to admit she found adorable.

The baby with a golden coat and a pink mane looked up in the dragon’s eyes, and sniffed, wondering whether to cry, or laugh, or maybe perhaps try to hide. In the end it settled for; “Gphtrrrrrrrrrgle.”

“Aaaaaaaw.” Lady Babbage reached into the carriage and pulled out the pony.

“Careful my love!” Lord Stockholm whispered. “You know the legends! They eat dragons eggs before they hatch, and they can tear a dragon apart with their bare teeth!”

“This one doesn’t even have teeth yet.” A hundred years of fear for ponies were lost in this creature's wonderful blue eyes. Lady Babbage cooed at the Pegasus filly. “Oh my love, can we please keep it? I so want to keep it! It’s so adorable! It even has your eyes!”

“I don’t know.” Lord Stockholm still looked warily at the pony. “It’s a pony after all. It may be cute now, but some day it will be eating dragon eggs and turning our skeletons into a house.”

“Not if we raise it to be on our side.” Lady Babbge looked at her mate with pleading eyes. “We can’t leave it out here. We just can’t.”

Lord Stockholm sighed. “Fine. But if it so much as looks at me like I’m a piece of meat, I’m putting it down.”

~0o0~

The baby was crying. They didn’t know why. It was in their nicest cage, with a drinking tube filled with crystal spring water, the bottom of the cage filled with comfortable straw.

And still it cried.

“Maybe it’s hungry?” Lady Babbage asked.

“Well that’s great.” Lord Stockholm growled. “But we don’t have any dragon eggs to spare.”

“Maybe…” Lady Babbage looked up at her mate meekly. “Maybe this is a bad idea… but don’t legends say that… ponies also eat the flesh of freshly dead dragons? Maybe we… need…” She stopped at the look she was getting.

“I’m not that attached to it yet.” Lord Stockholm said. He stroked his chin in thought. “Wait… it’s a mammal, right?”

“Right…”

He snapped his claws. “So, mammal hatchlings don’t eat solid food right away! They eat milk and… and mushed up food! Maybe pony mothers eat the dragon eggs first, then regurgitate them to their young, like birds?”

Lady Babbage felt vaguely ill. “I think we’ll stick to milk for now. Maybe ruby milk, like what we use to feed dragon hatchlings?”

“Okay, we’ll try that.” Ruby milk wasn’t literally ‘milk’. Dragons didn’t have milk. Ruby milk was rubies powdered so finely, that they turned into a paste instead of a powder. A quick trip to their family hoard, and Lord Stockholm filled a saucer with Ruby Milk and watered it down with some water from her drinking tube.

She was still crying.

“Oh, there, there, sweetie.” Lady Babbage opened the cage door.

“Careful dear.” Her mate warned her, but she simply nudged the baby towards the bowl, and put her mouth to it. The baby was surprised, but experimentally began licking, and then began to gobble it up with a fervor.

“Phew.” Lord Stockholm whipped the sweat off his brow, as his mate withdrew her claw from the cage and shut the door.

“Well, that’s better than feeding it dragons eggs.” Lady Babbage said with a grin.

“We don’t have very many rubies.” Lord Stockholm said. “Maybe we could scavenge some shells from already hatched eggs, and see if it will eat those?”

“Maybe…” Lady Babbage became lost in thought as she looked into those deep blue eyes. “Oh Stockholm, isn’t she adorable?”

The baby sat up and burped loudly.

“The cutest little killer I’ve ever seen.” He wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t get too attached to it my falcon, we still don’t know anything about it. In fact… maybe I should talk to some of the Great Pack about it. ”

~0o0~

The roar coming from The Great Volcano was deafening. Plumes of fire shot out from the rim, and Lady Babbage huddled in the shelter of a nearby cave, clutching the Pegasus foal to her chest. Two strong dragons stood guard outside of the cave, and a sickly green dragon waited inside the cave with her. The sickly green dragon had been her Mirror-Match for a while now, but she didn’t want him to comfort her as she waited for the outcome of the fight. The fight had been going on for two days now. Between her beloved mate Lord Stockholm, and Smaug, the dragon king.

“You know…” Lord Krastos hissed, in a voice that was deep, yet serpentine. “Thisss could end at any time. Your mate hasss been fighting Sssmaug for two daysss now. Impressssive, but he won’t lassst for much longer. All it would take, isss for one of you to kill thisss mossster.”

“He hasn’t asked me to kill her yet.” Lady Babbage fought back the tears that threatened to creep into her vision. “That must mean he still thinks he can win.”

“Or that Sssmaug hasss torn out hisss throat.” Krastos sneered. “There are other poniesss. If you want to raissse a weapon to dethrone Sssmaug, I can help with the next one. I’ll be able to help you keep it our little sssecret.”

“It’s not a weapon.” Lady Babbage snarled. “And why would you help me anyway?”

“Becaussse…” Krastos looked over Lady Babbage. “I am in need of a mate. And any mate with the audacity to raissse thisss foul abomination isss wasssted on Lord Ssstockholm.”

Suddenly, with a final deathly roar, and a plume of fire that reached the perpetual veil of smoke above them, the sounds of battle stopped.

There was a moment where both dragons waited in baited breath.

And then with a roar, the vice-drake yelled; “Smaug is dead! Long live Smaug!”

“Your ‘concern’ is all that is wasted here.” Lady Babbage grinned at the shocked Krastos as roars of victory rang out among the mountains. “Don’t let me catch you calling your new princess a foul abomination again.”

She left the glaring Krastos to his devices, as she flew off with a hopeful heart to the Great Volcano where her mate lay victorious.

She flew to his side, as the doctor dragons tended to him. His breathing was labored, and his right wing was torn, but he summoned the strength to reach up and hold her claw. “How long… were we fighting?” Lord Stockholm – that is, Smaug – asked her.

“Two days.” Lady Babbage – that is, Queen Babbage – replied, stroking his claw. “You were strong as the mountains, and fierce as the winds.” She gave him the highest compliment a dragon could receive after battle. “How on earth did you manage it?”

“He was a monstrous fighter all right.” Smaug coughed. “But he lacked intelligence. I was able to hold him off… play cat and mouse with him… until I finally figure out ‘the Stare’.”

She gasped. “You found the secret? The secret to the perfect glare, that will send all but the strongest of will running?”

“He had a strong will.” Smaug grinned. “But my predecessor put all of his will… towards not running, and that… gave me the final opening. Do you think it was worth it?”

“Dadda!”

Both dragons looked down, as the smiling foal in Queen Babbage’s claw gurgled happily and waved her hooves at them. “Dadda! Dadda!”

“I… don’t think we can keep calling her ‘it’ after you’ve done all this to protect her.” Queen Babbage let the tears she’d been holding back flow freely, for there was no shame in them now.

“No indeed.” Smaug smiled. “What should we call her? The others of the Great Pack believe I’m raising her as a weapon. They’re sure to want to hurt or rule her. We should name her something fierce, something to ensure they’ll be too scared to touch her… perhaps Vesuvius, or Jormungard, or Tarzan?”

Queen Babbage bit her lip. “Actually… I was thinking… I’d like to name her after my mother… if that’s alright with you…”

Smaug frowned. “Lady Fluttershy? Fluttershy is not a mighty name for a dragon princess.”

Queen Babbage hung her head.

“But…” Smaug considered. “It is a very fine name… for our daughter.”

“Dadda!” The happy Pegasus filly giggled.

~0o0~

A small green dragon slid down the inside of the crater. When it came to almost the bottom, he found a small rock jutting out and steered his slide towards it. His sliding fall turned into a glide, as he spread his wings. He soared through the air, looking triumphant, and let out a small roar throughout the volcano pit.

All of the other dragons ‘ooo’ed and ‘aaaah’ed.

He folded his wings in, and landed. “Alright you babies!” He yelled, in a voice that was thin and childish, but he convinced himself was manly. “My name is Hotshot! My daddy just arrive in the West Wind Pack, so I’m stuck with you lot instead of my old pack! I was a pack leader there, and I’ll be a pack leader here! Now, tell me who your pack leader is so I can beat him in fair combat!”

To his surprise, they all flinched back when they heard his demand. One of them, a green dragon with twelve legs and weird eyes, scurried forward.

“Are you insane?” She whispered. “If you challenge her, she could kill you!”

“Her?” Hotshot scoffed. “You mean you’re all letting yourselves be bossed around by a namby pamby girl? Let me at her, I’ll show you how a real pack leader does things!”

“I tried to warn you.” The green dragon slipped back into the group, and the pack parted.

Hotshot gasped. The dragon who walked forward was an inch taller then the other dragons his age, born up by long legs (on which she walked on all fours). She had hair, which some dragons did, but not this much! It fell over her face; a face without fangs, without snout, without scales. He legs didn’t end in claws or feet; they ended in evil looking stubs.

Hotshot took a step back. “You’re a… a… a…”

This was a pony.

“Hello!” She said, puffing up her chest. “I’m Fluttershy! If you want a piece of me, name your challenges! The only thing I won’t do is lava diving! But if you feel like yielding now that you know I’m a pony, go ahead!”

Hotshot trembled, but stood his ground. “No!” He said. “Before this day is up, you will either yield to me, or be my Mirror-Match! My challenges are; Belching, Trash Talking, and Wrassling!”

“Crackle!” Fluttershy called, and the green dragon stepped up again. “You be the judge!”

The green dragon stood between Hotshot and Fluttershy. “Biggest belch you can manage, on three. One…”

Their eyes met.

“Two…”

Their stomachs rumbled.

“Three!”

The two of them belched, and Hotshot paled when he realized his biggest ball of fire went out before Fluttershy’s miniature sun.

“Fluttershy wins!” Crackled called. “She gets to start the next round! Trash Talking! The first dragon to get a rise out of the other, gets to start the next round! One sentence insults only!”

Crackle leaned in close to Hotshot. “Throw the match.”

“What?”

“I’m serious. You really want to throw this match. Don’t even try to get her angry.”

“I’m not gonna throw the match!”

“Your funeral.” Crackle leaned back, and the two opponents stared each other down.

“Fluttershy… go!”

Fluttershy took a deep breath. “You… did a very nice glide back then.”

Hotshot blinked. “Wait, is that it?” His eyes wrinkled in confusion. “Is that really the insult you’re going with?”

“Hotshot! Go!”

“Your insults stink worse than my dad’s socks after he takes a lava bath!”

Fluttershy didn’t seem upset by this at all.

“Fluttershy! Go!”

“Well, I could almost imagine being hurt by your insults, they’re phrased very cruelly.”

Again, Hotshot was befuddled. “Thank… thank you? I’m sorry, is this a joke? Did you just pay me a compliment? Twice?”

Fluttershy frowned. “Oh no, it wasn’t a compliment, you really were pretty mean just then.”

“Hotshot! Go!”

“You’re brain’s so small, you should be called Flutterwhy?”

It wasn’t his best work, but still, it should have had some effect on her. “Get it? It took your name and…”

The crowd was murmuring, and Crackle whispered. “You’re hitting too close to home. Don’t go there. Fluttershy! Go!”

Fluttershy smiled. “For a dragon, you really should know better trying to out-do a pony.”

Hotshot grimaced. “Is this funny to you? Am I not a serious enough threat against your title as pack leader? Well then, you leave me no other choice.”

The crowd’s eyes widened, and Crackle weakly muttered; “Hotshot… go.”

“You’re mommy’s so lame, that she –”

Suddenly, Fluttershy was upon him. “WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER!?”

“Hotshot wins!” Crackle said hurriedly. “Next round; fighting! First dragon to yield loses!”

Hotshot laughed. “I’ve got this in the bag.”

Crackled hurried over to him. “She’s angry now. Your best bet is to yield quickly.”

“What? I’m on a roll! Besides, what’s she going to do? She doesn’t have claws or fangs or even scales!”

“She’s also a pony!” Crackled glared at him. “Don’t you know who you’re dealing with? She’s Princess Fluttershy! Fluttershy the Laughing Doom! Fluttershy the Unblinking! Fluttershy the Monster!”

Hotshot’s eyes widened. “You mean… that’s Smaug’s daughter? And… she already has three honorifics?”

Crackle nodded. “You can try to hold out. But you won’t. Your best bet is to yield quickly.”

She left, and Hotshot quieted the trembling in his claws. This was a pony. A beast of legend. But he would not yield. He’d pull out every trick in the book to fight her.

Hotshot and Fluttershy stood at opposing ends of the crater. Crackle was in the middle. “And…” She gulped. “GO!”
Fluttershy and Hotshot raced toward the middle. Hotshot lowered his head, hoping to plow right through her with his spiked head.

Suddenly, he stopped, right in the middle of the arena. He tried to push forward, but he just wasn’t moving. He looked up, and he saw the most terrifying thing he’d ever seen.

Fluttershy was standing over him, glaring at him, a single hoof rested on his forehead keeping him at arms length.

“I just want you to know, that what’s about to happen wouldn’t have happened if you’d been a little nicer.” She said. Then she shoved him to the side, and as he fell she pounced on him.

He would have been ready for punches, kicks, or a fireball to the face. He was not ready for what came next.

Fluttershy pressed two of her strong hooftips against his scales, and started rubbing them back and forth.

During the early days of Fluttershy’s life among the dragons, she’d been involved in several scuffles. During one of these scuffles, she’d accidentally learned how to ‘tickle’. She didn’t know it was called ‘tickling’. Dragons, possessing claws that can tear through mountains like tissue paper, never really learned this art. So when Fluttershy, a pony, started doing it by accident, every dragon learned to fear ‘the laughing doom’.

Hotshot’s breathing began to be erractic as she rubbed his side, them moved down to his stomach, and finally he burst out laughing. “Wha-hahahahaha-what is ha-hahahahahaha-happeniii-heeheeheeheehee-hahahahahaha!!!”

Tears ran down his cheeks and he began to panic. It hurt! It hurt so bad that he had to laugh! Why couldn’t he stop laughing! He was scared. He was so scared that he would never stop laughing – that he would laugh himself to death! Was that what this pony was doing? Was she eating his laughter? Would she throw away his dried husk when she was done, like some sort of laughter eating changeling?

He tried to yield. He honestly tried. But he couldn’t speak through the laughter. He found he was barely able to breath. With a shaking claw, he did the only thing he could do. He reached over to the ground next to him, dug a claw into the dirt, and wrote ‘I yield’ in the shakiest claw-writing he’d ever seen.

Miraculously, Fluttershy seemed to understand his scribbling, and released him. He didn’t get up. He just lay there, laughter swiftly turning into hyperventilating, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“He yields to me!” Fluttershy roared, and the rest of the dragon let out a whispered ‘yay’.

“Initiate him!” She roared.

This was the part Hotshot was the most apprehensive about, before he had to fight a pony. Most packs had their own initiation rituals, and while some of them were just passing through rows of dragons and getting a noogie from the pack leader, others could be cruel.

His suspicions were confirmed when he was blindfolded.

“You did very well.” He heard Crackle whisper nearby. “I didn’t think to write anything on the ground when she fought me. Most of us have heard of how great she is at fights, and don’t even challenge her.”

Hotshot gulped. “She really is a monster, isn’t she?”

“Oh yes. But don’t worry, she’s our monster. Are you ready to be initiated?”

His mind far afield with imagining what horror the pony had thought up for initiation was. He could only nod as he waited for his poor fate. Maybe they’d dunk his head under lava until he couldn’t breath. Maybe they’d tell him to walk forward, and not tell him he’d be walking on dragon teeth. Maybe they’d…

A clawful of gems was shoved into his mouth.

He reluctantly chewed and swallowed him, and then they took his blindfold off.

“That’s it.” Crackle said.

“…That’s it?” Hotshot asked. “Really?”

“I told you. She may be a monster, but she’s our monster.” Crackle beamed.

He felt a hoof slap him on the back. “Welcome to the West Wind’s Junior Pack!” Fluttershy said. “As long as you don’t insult mommy again, I think we’re going to get along just fine.”

Hotshot considered it a lesson learned.

~0o0~

Fluttershy went up into the mountains. One or two of the elder dragons watching the junior dragons lifted their heads at the curiosity, but soon went back to rest.

Fluttershy sighed, and stretched out on a large rock, away from her pack. Mother said that basking would give her scales a luxurious sheen…

She scolded herself. Her mane would get a luxurious sheen. She sighed again. Sometimes it could be so difficult… objectively, she knew she was a pony. But she felt so much like a dragon. And it hurt her when the other dragons called her a monster, and trembled at her approach. It hurt her far worse than any of the other challenges. Except maybe lava diving, but she’d never tried lava diving, because it might kill her.

She spread her wings. They hurt slightly when she moved them. Underneath the wings were two bottles. One was filled with rainbows, for when she got thirsty. It was a bit spicy, but it always managed to quench her thirst, and it helped her breath fire, something she understood ponies didn’t do. The other bottle was filled with ruby milk. She was embarrassed to still be drinking milk, so she kept the bottles well hidden under her wings in front of the other young dragons. Unfortunately, she couldn’t eat gems. They hurt her teeth when she tried to chew. The only solids she could eat were apples (which were her favorite, but few and far between) and eggs. Goodness, not dragon eggs, her parents would never start her down the path to evil like that. No, she just had eggs from the pair of chickens mother kept in her aviary. They weren’t very special birds, except that they laid eggs without needing them fertilized, so she could have something filling without worrying about killing a helpless baby bird.

Fluttershy tucked her mane over her face. The few dragons who had hair let it fall over their faces, which was a bonus for her because it meant the elder dragons wouldn’t see her with a baby bottle and start judging her. Growing up a pony among dragons, she was more than aware the every dragon thought she was a monster. This made her more than a bit of a scaredy cat. Fear was her constant pack-mate.

So it was a relief when the one dragon she felt completely safe with descended to her.

“Guess what I found today?” Queen Babbage said in an excited voice. She held up a cage for her to examine. “A buzzing buzzard! I was looking for a phoenix, you know, but I found a buzzard instead and it really buzzed! How amazing is that!?”

“That’s wonderful.” Fluttershy said, in her quiet voice.

“It’s in the aviary back home.” Queen Babbage gushed. “I just can’t wait for you to see it! It’s so cool, isn’t it just the best Vulcas?”

Vulcas, Fluttershy’s baby brother, looked up from where he was resting. Like all baby dragons, he rested on his mother’s neck. He had mostly purple scales, with a head of golden hair, very rare for a dragon, falling over his eyes. “We were looking for a phoenix.” He said.

“Yes, we were, but we’ve never seen one. This is cool too.”

“Yeah, pretty cool.” He shrugged and went back to resting.

Lady Babbage caught her daughter’s eye. “Fluttershy? I something wrong? You’re usually as excited as I am about birdlife?”

“It’s… everything’s fine.” Fluttershy said, hiding herself and drinking her milk.

Babbage hugged her. “Fluttershy, you know you can tell me anything.”

“Yeah.” Vulcas gave her a funny look. “What’s the matter, did a shadow scare you again?”

“Shadows are where monsters live.” Fluttershy squirmed, and wriggled next to her mother. The heat coming from her scales comforted her.

“I’m a pony.” She said.

“Yes.”

“But I feel so much like a dragon. I’m the leader of a pack, I breath fire… I even made the mistake of thinking I could dig with my tail once or twice.”

“Fluttershy, you know you’ll always be a dragon to me.”

“And… it feels like something’s missing.” Fluttershy said. “It feels like there’s something just out of my reach that I can’t have. And it’s not that I can’t fly yet.” She winced as her sore wings moved. “It’s something else that I don’t know. I feel like… I feel like I have the biggest pack a dragon my age can have, but I’m still lonely.”

Queen Babbage frowned, and hugged her daughter as tightly as she was able. “Oh my Fluttershy.” She whispered. “You’ll never be alone when I’m here.”

The bell rang in the crater, and Fluttershy got up from her mother’s embrace. “I’d better go. That’s the bell for King Of The Hoard.”

Queen Babbage nodded her understanding, and watched her precious daughter go play with the other dragons. “Mom, aren’t we going?” Vulcas asked. But she just sat there, watching her daughter play with the pack. And watching the fear in every dragon’s eyes.

~0o0~

Fluttershy had to stop herself from visibly trembling. She’d been called to the Great Volcano. That never happened to a baby dragon. Ever.

She sighed, and reminded herself that she trusted her dad, and walked into the crater. Steam emerged from every crack, and a small pool of lave was in the center of the crater. Around the pool were thrones, and in the center of the pool was a larger platform and Dias.

She stood in the center of the Dias and kneeled. “O Smaug, may you live forever, a humble member of your great pack kneels before you.” She whispered.

“Arise, Princess Fluttershy, The Unblinking, The Laughing Doom, The Monster.” The traditional greetings out of the way, Fluttershy smiled shyly at her dad, and he smiled back.

“You have been called before the Great Pack, on a manner of grave importance.” Smaug began. “The ponies have long been monsters of legend. Yet, with you here, a dragon in pony’s skin, we have the chance to open diplomatic channels. Therefore, I am sending you to a ‘Flight Camp’ in the pony city Cloudsdale, where you will observe typical pony behavior, and determine what is fact, what is mere myth, and whether diplomatic channels could, or should, be opened.”

Fluttershy’s eyes went wide. Her voice was barely a squeak as she said… “Thy will be done…”

Smaug nodded, and the rest of the Great Pack flew off. Smaug trumbled past Fluttershy, picking her up with his tail and placing her gently on his neck as he walked.

“Fluttershy, are you all right?”

She trembled. “Did I do something wrong? Is this… some sort of punishment because I can’t fly yet?”

Smaug stared at her, uncomprehending. “What? Why would you think this is a punishment?”

“Because you’re sending me to live with m-m-m-m-monsters.” Fluttershy struggled to hold back her tears.

Smaug smiled kindly at her. “Fluttershy… my brilliant little phoenix… I told you this was a diplomatic mission in front of the Great Pack, but do you know why I really decided to send you to this flight camp?”

She shook her head.

“Your mother said you were lonely.” Smaug nuzzled her. “If the ponies do turn out to be monsters, then I’ll wade through every one of them to bring you home. But raising you… even if you are mostly dragon… I just can’t imagine that all ponies are horrible egg-eating creatures like we’ve thought for years. I want to give you the chance to make a pack that won’t… call you a monster.” Smaug sniffed disdainfully. “I never thought you earned that honorific myself.”

Fluttershy’s face twisted into a look between confused and happy. She finally settled on loving, and hugged her dad so tight that he felt it, even through his battle hardened scales. “You mean… you’re doing this for me?”

Smaug reach up and stroked Fluttershy’s pink mane. “Of course I am Fluttershy. You think that I’d do anything to you that I didn’t believe was in your best interests? I am Smaug. And you are family.”

They shared an embrace, and then the ground shook and Queen Babbage rounded the corner. “Fluttershy!” She cried. “You’ve heard the news?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I’m going to live with the –” She couldn't hold back a shudder. “-ponies.”

Queen Babbage nodded excitedly, and held up some suitcases. “I’ve packed your favorite clothes, and a book about raising chickens, and binoculars so you can watch them from a distance, and several glasses of Ruby milk since they probably won’t have any there, and I’ve packed your favorite teddy bears, and… and…” She began crying despite her exited voice. “And some birds so you can write to us… and… and you have to promise me you’ll be okay!”

Fluttershy was moved to tears. She scurried off her dad’s back, and into her mother’s almost crushing embrace. “I promise.” She said. “I promise I’ll be okay Mom.”

~0o0~

Fluttershy had been taken as near to a pony town as her parents had dared to accompany her, given her half of the family hoard to keep her well supplied, and sent her off, watching in the distance. In the end, she didn’t even talk to a pony, instead opting to hire a less threatening cow to give her a balloon ride to Cloudsdale. She’d rented an apartment, with a note from her parents, and moved her hoard into her room, and then she’d left for flight camp.

Flight camp was… terrifying. Fluttershy was a frightened dragon by nature – no, she had to start thinking of herself as a pony now – she was scared by nature, but she was still terrified of being surrounded by hundreds of miniature monsters. Naturally, she was a little bit delirious with fear.

“Okay Fluttershy.” She whispered to herself. “You can do this. Remember, you’re a monster too. You just have to find some way to assert your dominance. Yes, that’s it. A pre-emptive strike. Challenge them before they challenge you.”

Suddenly, the bell ringed. She smiled madly. “Of course! King of the Hoard!”

She ran as fast as she could, easily outpacing the younger and not-raised-by-dragons ponies. She made it to the top of the cloud-steps and rounded on her classmates. “QUEEN OF THE HOARD!” She yelled, and she began to pummel them.
She was too scared to realize they weren’t fighting back, and too scared to realize that this wasn’t a hoard, these were steps, and there was a door right behind hat that they could probably be heading towards.

And then something rainbow colored plowed into her. “Hey! What’s your problem?”

A blue Pegasus with a rainbow colored mane had actually managed to knock her over!

Fluttershy swiped at her with a forehoof, but the smaller filly dodged. She jabbed, and the smaller filly bucked her forehoof, actually blocking the blow!

Fluttershy winced. Ponies were as terrifying as she thought. She began to launch a flurry of blows, and if any of them connected they didn’t seem to be leaving any lasting mark on the filly.

She tried to see some sort of angle she could win this fight from, and she realized she had longer legs! She reached out, and held the filly away at arms length. But the filly pressed on, her wings propelling her forward with vigor. Grooves were worn into the clouds at Fluttershy’s feet as she was forced backwards.

She realized she had to do something, or this monster would end her! She looked into the fillies eyes, and initiated ‘The Stare’. “Give up.”

The filly looked directly into her stare, and she saw the determination in those magenta circles. “Never!” The filly cried. A small stream of blood ran from her mouth, despite Fluttershy fighting at full strength, and knowing from personal experience that ponies weren’t as tough as even the baby dragons she fought.

The filly reapplied herself to her task, and Fluttershy felt her mane get dragged into the draft created by her powerful wings. With an ‘eep!’ her hair got tangled in the fillie’s wings, and the pair of the tumbled to the ground, in a tangled mess.

They pulled themselves apart, and Fluttershy lunged. “You’ve left me no choice!” She cried, and she used her special ‘laughing doom’ move.

The rainbow maned filly laughed, and the struck back, using the same technique only on the insides of Fluttershy’s wings.

The two of them fell apart laughing, and got up at the same time. They stared at each other, the blue filly with amusement, and the golden filly with fear.

“Ahem.” The blue filly’s face turned to fear as well, and Fluttershy turned around to see the biggest, scariest Pegasus stallion she’d ever seen. “Are you three having a good time? Chuckling it up?”

Three?

The two fillies turned to see a griffon with them. For some reason, a youn colt had come to camp wearing a shirt, and she’d picked him up by it, and was just finished giving him a black eye.

“Eh, fun while it lasted.” The griffon tossed the colt on the pile of groaning foals the three of them were sitting on.

Fluttershy was vaguely aware that she might have done something wrong.

~0o0~

The three of them sat in the chairs outside of the principle’s office, so they could ‘think about what they’ve done’. Fluttershy shuddered. She was sitting next to a pony who was, in a way, her mirror-match. And a griffon, which she didn’t really know much about.

“So.” The griffon started. “Name’s Gilda. Toughest Griffon you’ll ever meet. Coolest too. You two had some pretty cool moves. What’re your names?”

“Rainbow Crash.” The rainbow-maned filly said, head hung low.

Gilda looked at her strangely. “Any relation to Thunder Crash the ex-Wonderbolt?”

Rainbow’s head shot up. “No! I mean, I didn’t mean to say that! I mean, this is supposed to be a new beginning for me! I mean, I’m Rainbow Dash. Yeah, Dash. You probably misheard me. No relations to Thunder Crash. None whatsoever.”

And then Fluttershy realized, that the pony was alike to her in more ways than just being a good fighter. Apparently, she was also judged for something that she couldn’t control. She also came here looking for a new beginning.

She stood up (even though the big principle Pegasus had told her to sit!) and bowed to Rainbow Crash. “You were as strong as the mountains, and fierce as the winds.” She said.

The two looked at her. “Uh… what?”

Fluttershy continued on. “I hope we may have many more fights, and may the fire in your heart –”

“What was that about having many more fights?”

Fluttershy ‘eeped’ and got back in her seat as the principal glared at her. She’d only been traditionally accepting Rainbow Crash as her mirror-match. But she had a feeling the principal wouldn’t approve.

“Now, can you tell me why you three were putting as many foals as you could in the nurse’s office?” The Principal asked.

“It looked like fun.” Gilda shrugged.

“This is so bogus.” Rainbow Crash folded her arms in a huff.

“Um… I was trying to make sure nopony would attack me by attacking them first.” Fluttershy said.

“All inexcusable answers.” The Principal harrumphed. “I’m going to be in touch with each of your parents about this, you mark my words.”

Fluttershy gasped. Her parents! Who knew what this monster would do to them if he found out they weren’t ponies!

Without hesitation, she turned on ‘The Stare’.

The Principal yelped and fell backwards, and Fluttershy loomed over him. “You will not contact our parents.” She said. “There will be no repercussions at all for this fight. In fact, you will forget this fight ever happened. Are we clear?”

The Principle was so terrified that he complied and subconsciously wiped his memory. The last thing he remembered was getting a coffee, and now suddenly there were only two, all encompassing eyes, right in front of him. “Who are you?” He squeaked.

Against her will, ‘The Stare’ faltered. She couldn’t really control it like her father could. She thought she was still in control though, so she pressed on. “My name is not important. Only that –”

“Now look here little missy.” She retreated as the principal loomed over her once again. “You will tell me your name.”

“Fluttershy.” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Well Fluttershy, I think you should be getting ready for class instead of sneaking into my office and… staring at me.” He wiped his brow at the mere thought of that stare. “Now… Smoking Celestia, is it that time already!? Take your friends and go to class now Fluttershy!”

He hurried into his office, leaving three bewildered little girls behind him.

“What just happened?” Rainbow Crash asked.

Dear Daddy

Today, I met a pony who is my Mirror-match! I mean, we didn’t fight for a day, like normal mirror-matches, but I know we could’ve if we weren’t interrupted.

Apparently, Ponies don’t work with a social system of challenges, with aggressive and submissive personalities in regards to the outcome. They assume you’re mirror-matches until proven otherwise. Or they assume you’re ‘friends’ until proven otherwise. Mirror-match is the closest word I can find to ‘friends’.

I’ll soon discover what ‘friendship’ means. In the meantime, acting submissive seems to be the best option for interacting with ponies.

Love, Fluttershy.

~0o0~

The next day, Fluttershy sat down at the cafeteria with Rainbow Crash and Gilda. “Hello Rainbow Dash, hello Gilda.”

“Yo.” Rainbow nodded. Gilda stayed quiet.

“Um… what’s this green stuff?” She asked.

The two stared at her.

“Are you joking?” Rainbow asked.

“Are you really that dumb?” Gilda asked.

Fluttershy blushed.

“That’s Barley Oats.” Said Rainbow. “It’s the primary provider for wing nutrients! I eat them, like, every meal! How can you not know about them?”

Gilda reach over, and pulled Fluttershy’s wings out. “Your wings are all… weak. And shrivelly.” Gilda looked at Fluttershy. “What kind of parents wouldn’t feed you Barley Oats.”

At the thought that they might find out about her parents, Fluttershy panicked. “You’ll never make me talk!” She screamed, hitting Gilda in her face, and running from the cafeteria.

“What the –!” Gilda sat up, and rubbed her black eye. “Why you little–!”

She leaped off of the table, but Rainbow intercepted her, tackling her out of the air. “No Gilda!” She said. “Let her go.” The both leveled a glare at the retreating Pegasus. “That filly obviously has some serious issues.”

Dear Daddy.

Today I learned that ponies do not eat dragon’s eggs or flesh. In fact, very few even eat chickens eggs. They eat grass! And weeds! And other strange plants they call vegetables! Apparantly, the reason I can’t fly very well, is because of some obscure sort of ‘wing nutrients’. Nothing that I’ve ever eaten beofore has given me wing nutrients, so now I have to eat extra grass to catch up!

The camp nurses are talking about ‘malnutrition’ and stuff, but don’t worry, I’ll make sure they’ll never find out about you!

Love, Fluttershy.

~0o0~

Gilda was holding up two of the pegasi by their manes. Rainbow Crash was glaring at them, trying and failing to unlock Fluttershy’s ‘stare’.

“Now, you two know better than to tease Fluttershy, right?”

“Whatever.” One of them scoffed. “You won’t always be around to protect her.”

She sighed, and face-hoofed. “Did you guys not see the can of kick-flank she opened up on the first day of school?”

“Oh, we saw.” The other one growled. “Hoop saw so well, that she gave him a black eye.”

“So you guys know that bullying Fluttershy is like… it’s like bullying a dragon!” She paused and thought about it. “Actually, I’d like the chance to go up against a dragon. That sounds kind of awesome. But with Fluttershy, it’s like all the danger of a dragon, wrapped up in a cuddly pink mane, which takes away all of the awesome and replaces it with puppy kicking.”

“So?” The first scoffed. “Sure, she could beat us up – I mean, she could try, we weren’t ready the first time, we could totally take her any day of the week – but she won’t even. She’s a total pushover!”

“Except for that day when she wasn’t.” Gilda hissed into their ears.

“Stay away from Fluttershy.” Rainbow Crash stomped her hoof. “Nopony gets to pick on her but me and Gilda. If you don’t, I’ll knock you out of the sky with another Rainboom.”

“Nopony believes you did that. It was just a fluke of the weather. Thunder Crash’s filly could never –”

“My name’s Dash not Crash!” Rainbow was about to put these two in their place, when she heard a soft crying sound from behind her.

“Ha!” The two colts dragged themselves out of Gilda’s grip. “Fluttershy, Fluttershy, Fluttershy can hardly fly!” They ran off laughing.

Rainbow and Gilda ran off to Fluttershy, who was rising behind them in a balloon with a cow.

“Thanks Ms. Bessie.” She said quietly as she disembarked.

“Oh, no problem at all you sweet little thing.”

“Fluttershy!” Rainbow’s eyes were wide. “What happened? Why are you crying!?”

“I-I-I-” She looked at Rainbow’s flank, her eyes widened and she burst into tears. “Oh no! You’ve caught it too!”

“Caught what!?” Rainbow Crash shook her friend. “Fluttershy what are you talking about!?”

“When you started the race, I fell off of the clouds!” Fluttershy cried. “I was having such a good time on the ground with the birds, and the animals, and the… the…” She sniffed. “But then… I saw this!!” She spun around and showed Rainbow her cutie mark. “I… I think it might be some sort of disease… and you’ve caught it too!” She hugged Rainbow tightly when she saw the filly shaking. “I’m sorry! You should never have hung out with me! Now we’re both infected and… and…”

Rainbow’s shaking wasn’t crying; it was laughter. Gilda was laughing too.

“Why… why are you laughing!?”

“Because you’re such a ditz!” Gilda pointed at her and leered through the laughter. “Even I know what a Cutie Mark is!”

“Holy cow Fluttershy, you’re so random!” Rainbow laughed. “No offence Bessie.”

“None taken dearies.” The cow said, as she floated back to earth on her balloon.

Dear Daddy.

Today, I learned that a pony’s social status is not determined by fighting other ponies for the top position, but by strange markings on our flank. I’ve received my marking today, and my place is caring for animals. It’s wonderful, being told that the thing you love most is the thing ponies will let you do for the rest of your life.

Why didn’t you tell me the Daylands had more wonderful creatures than just birds?

Love, Princess Fluttershy.

~0o0~

Dear daddy.

Today I have discovered CHOCOLATE! It is the best thing ever!!! I am totally bringing you some the next time I come home!

Love, Princess Fluttershy.

Fluttershy, no longer a foal, walked into the Great Volcano, a package on her back the size of a large boulder. It was heavy to lift, even for her.

She walked into the middle of the Great Pack, and shifted the package off of her back. “O Smaug, may you live forever, a humble member of your pack kneels before you.” She bowed.

Smaug smiled warmly. “Rise Princess Fluttershy, The Unblinking, The Laughing Doom, Tenderclaw, Monster. I’m glad to see you back safe from your mission to the Daylands. What is in the package?”

Fluttershy flew up to the top of the package. She was still dizzy, and her wings cracked and protested, but she made it to the top. “It’s the best thing ever in the history of the world.” She undid the ribbon, and yelled “Chocolate!”

The foil opened, and a messy brown lump of goo oozed out.

Every dragon stared at it.

“Is it trying to poison us?” She heard Lord Krastos whisper.

She landed on the floor of the volcano and tried not to cry. Of course the chocolate had melted on her way here! The Great Pack met inside the Great Volcano! And now instead of her dad enjoying a delicious treat, he’d be repulsed, and have to excuse his daughter in front of the pack for her faux pas, and that would be a sign of weakness so they’d start challenging him for the throne even more…

Smaug got up, and walked towards the pile of wet chocolate. He dipped a claw in it, and took a cautious lick. His broad smile returned to his face. “THISISTHEBESTHINGEVERANDIMUSTHAVEMORE!” He cried, and with that he shoved a whole handful of chocolate in his mouth.

Fluttershy beamed.

~0o0~

Fluttershy was a teenager now, and she was celebrating her birthday with her pack. He mother sat next to her. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay this time?”

“Actually… it’s been nice living with ponies.” Fluttershy said. “I mean, it’s terrifying, but for the most part it’s alright. Mom… I think I’ll stay one more year. There are so many animals to see, and I may even make a pack yet. I already have a house, just outside of a small town. Just one more year, and I’ll be back on my twentieth birthday and never leave again if I’m still not happy.”

“Alright Fluttershy dear.” Queen Babbage nuzzled her. “As long as you’re sure. We’ll see you at the dragon migrations.”

“I can introduce you to my pet bunny, angel.” Fluttershy beamed.

~0o0~

Dear Daddy.

I’ve found a pack! The pack leader is Twilight Sparkle, one of the strongest ponies around, if not the strongest magically. My mirror-match Rainbow Dash is also a member of the pack, along with three more strange but wonderful ponies.

I’ve earned two more honorifics with this pack – Element of Kindness, and Nightmare-Vanquisher. The others have many honorifics too, but like most ponies they barely use them.

I don’t feel alone any more. I think this is what ‘friendship’ means.

Love, Fluttershy.

The Pony in Dragon's Scales

The six of them had taken a train directly to Canterlot, so as to avoid Princess Celestia causing an international incident over what she thought was a prank. There, Fluttershy gave an accounting of herself, and her life.

Princess Celestia looked bewilderedly at her star pupil.

The star pupil shrugged back.

“Well… it appears this letter has one mistake on it.” Princess Celestia said after a moment of thought. “It’s obvious Smaug considers Twilight my daughter-of-heart. But I consider all of my little ponies sons and daughters in my heart.” She bent down over the Pegasus with a dragon’s heart. “I am truly sorry that I did not already know about this my little pony. I should have been more attentive.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright Princess.” Fluttershy said. “You’re a busy mare. And my cutie mark doubles as a hiding cutie-mark too.” She pointed to the butterflies. “It could have been a bunny if it was just caring for animals, but I’m also naturally good at camouflage. It’s okay you missed one pony in a country full of ponies.”

Princess Celestia sighed. “Still… is this how you dealt with the dragon that tried to take his thousand year nap in Equestria?”

Fluttershy nodded. “I was really scared about it. I thought if I dealt with the dragon myself, I would scare my new friends away.”

“I was not aware dragons had princesses. How is that possible, in a hierarchy based off of the rule of the strong?”

“Oh, well, legend goes that one Smaug noticed previous Smaugs had fallen because of dragons specifically targeting their young. There are also cases of Smaugs killing the previous Smaug’s hatchlings, as an example. So, Smaug made it illegal to harm any son or daughter of Smaug. It’s one of the few actual laws we have. I don’t really have any political power myself, but dragons respect me because my father taught me to fight, and my father will probably take my word into consideration. And a prince or princess remains the prince and princess in the event of a new Smaug, though the royal line only extends for one generation.”

“Fascinating.” Princess Celestia had a rare twinkle in her eye that Twilight had only ever seen a few times, during times when she found something new. “And… I used to be friends with a dragon, but some of these honorifics confuse me. What is a mirror-match?”

“Well, dragons don’t believe in equals.” Fluttershy said. “All dragons we beat are part of our pack. We’re part of the pack of whoever beats us. But a mirror-match is when two dragons fight each other for a day and neither one is any closer to victory. It’s the closest word a dragon has for ‘friend’, but the closest translation in Equestrian is ‘worthy opponent’.”

“Well, sometimes worthy opponents make the best friends.” Rarity whispered, casting a sly wink at Applejack who tipped her hat to Rarity.

“You probably know the old draconic word… Vladakan?”

“Oh, vladakan.” Celestia nodded. “Yes, I know what that means. And The Gardener?”

“Because you tend to the land. Ponies are both your garden, and your tools.”

“How very poetic.” Celestia looked back at the letter. “And it doesn’t look like they’ve forgotten me either.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Celestia blushed. “Well, between Discord’s reign and Nightmare Moon’s attack, there was a period where dragons were the greatest threat to Equestria. I was friends with one – you’re probably familiar with the legend of Huffy the Magic Dragon. But the Smaug at the time was convinced that dragons were meant to eat ponies as part of the food chain.”

Princess Celestia smirked. “I taught him the error of his ways. Dragons aren’t the only culture to refer to me as ‘The Great Trickster’.”

Fluttershy gasped. “Oh, so… are you the reason why dragons think ponies eat…”

“Yes, I am.” Princess Celestia blushed. “It was an effective deterrent. Don’t worry, I never actually ate their young, only convinced them I did. I trust you dispelled them of that notion? Else why would a dragon think to cover Equestria in smoke?”

“Oh yes, most of the Great Pack is no longer afraid. Some of the younger dragons even think that ponies are pushovers because of me! Most of them are still scared though.”

Celestia frowned. “Well, that’s a pity. I had thought that Rainbow Dash would be able to scare that sleeping dragon off. I'm glad you were there with a Plan B.”

“I could’ve!” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “I had it on the ropes!”

“Dash, I know a thing or two about ropes.” Applejack said. “And no, that dragon wasn’t anywhere near the ropes until Fluttershy showed up.”

“Well, fear was an effective deterrent, but perhaps it is time for a new age of peace between dragons and ponies.” Princess Celestia smiled. “I would be honored to attend your wedding Fluttershy, as would, I’m sure, the elements of harmony. I’ll prepare a ship, and we’ll set sail first thing tomorrow.”

“Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!” Pinkie Pie jumped up and down. “Can I plan the party Fluttershy!? Please! This is a brand new chance to throw the bestest party ever!”

“Of course you can.” Fluttershy smiled. “You’ll all be my bridesmaids.”

“Great.” Twilight said in a flat voice. “I’m sure glad that you’re thinking about your best friends a week before the biggest day of your life.”

“Oh darling, you must tell us who you’ll be marrying!” Rarity’s eyes sparkled.

“I don’t know.” Fluttershy admitted. “We talked about it when I visited them during the migration. I think my dad was okay with me choosing a pony husband, but if he’s found me a husband I’m sure he’ll be a perfect gentledragon. Daddy would never make me do anything I would disapprove of.”

“An arranged marriage!” Rarity gasped.

“Yeah, yeah, we all love the idea of Fluttershy getting married.” Spike reminded everypony in the room that he was still there. “Now that we know, Fluttershy can you please tell me about dragons now?” His eyes threatened to tear up. “After the dragon migration incident, I thought all dragons were jerks. But now you’re telling me that they’re nice? I want to know about my kind!”

“I’m sorry Spike.” Fluttershy nodded. “You’re right, I’ve been neglecting you. The dragons you met probably were jerks. Especially the pack leader, the one who ordered his pack to hurt poor baby phoenix eggs. But you probably confused them.”

“How did I confuse them?” Spike asked. “I didn’t act like a dragon, did I? Tell me how to act more like a dragon!”

“Well…” Fluttershy took a deep breath. “First you’re a baby dragon, and you wandered into the enclosure for teenage dragons. Then you challenged them, and since they don’t know what friendship means, they thought you were challenging them for dominance. And even when you were soundly beaten three times, you just kept challenging them. When they finally gave you a spot in their pack and you accepted, they initiated you, and smashing a bird’s egg was probably a part of the rite (bad news they chose a phoenix nest) and then after all the you denied the rite. Oh, and also you look confusing.” She blushed. “But… mostly they were just jerks.”

“I… look confusing?” Spike asked.

“I’m sorry Spike.” Fluttershy tried to put this delicately. “But, I can’t tell what type of dragon you are.”

Spike’s face fell. “What do you mean?”

Fluttershy took another deep breath. “Well, when you went through Greed Growth, you looked like my father, a Mountain Dragon. But you look like a baby Sea Dragon. Except for the fact that you have legs. And…” She frowned. “You don’t have wings. That’s always been disturbing to me. Dragons aren’t usually born without wings, except sea dragons who have prominent fins that you don't have, or in special occasions. Like my friend Crackle, she has a rare genetic disease.”

Spike frowned. “So… what, you’re saying that I’m not any type of dragon?” Spike asked.

“No, you’re definitely a type of dragon.” Fluttershy said. “I just can’t tell which. I’ll ask around. I could try to find out whether there were any dragons who gave up an egg.”

Then she frowned. “Wait…” She turned to Princess Celestia. “Where did you get Spike’s egg?”

Princess Celestia sucked in her lips, and her eyes shifted from one spot on the ceiling to another. “Um… in a cave. Parents gone. Signs of a struggle.”

Fluttershy frowned. “I’m sorry Princess but… what were the gins of the struggle? And where exactly was the cave? This could be very important you see, for finding Spike’s family.”

Princess Celestia looked from Spike, to Fluttershy, each making puppy dog eyes at her. Then she looked to Twilight, who was confused at Celestia’s reaction, Applejack, who probably sensed she was lying because she was glaring at her, Rarity, who was taking in the scene the same as she was, and Pinkie Pie, who was whispering something into a giggling Rainbow Dash’s ear.

She sighed. “All right. It’s… time you learned the truth.”

“What truth?” Twilight asked. “Is there something about Spike you’re not telling us?”

Princess Celestia stood, and strode forward. “Sometimes, I have had to make difficult decisions, and choose the greater good for all of pony kind. But never have I chosen an evil one.” She grimaced. “I would never steal a dragon’s egg! Even if its parents were clearly dead, I would give it back to the dragons! Even if, on a whim, I decided to raise it as my own, I would never give the egg to pre-pubescent unicorns and tell them to hatch it! I can’t even comprehend the kind of immoral… self-righteous… no, I would never do that.” She looked sadly down at Spike. “There was no egg Spike.”

“What?” Spike was confused.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked. She was tempted to burst out and saw that yes, of course there was an egg, she saw it and she hatched it. But to her, Princess Celestia was the absolute authority on anything, and if she said there was no egg then obviously, Twilight was wrong.

“I mean, that the entrance exam to Canterlot’s school of gifted unicorns was a rock, painted with pokadots.”

“What!?” Spike asked.

“But… why?” Twilight asked. “Why would you ask students to hatch a painted rock? That’s impossible!”

“Indeed.” Princess Celestia acknowledged. “That was the whole point. The Canterlot School for Gifted Unicorns focuses its entrance exam on the personality and creativity of the foals. There’s a very specific temperament to gifted unicorns. One where they will try as many things as they can, not giving up. I’m very sorry to say, that you would have failed that test. It was fortunate for you that I took you in as my student after you succeeded, otherwise the school’s curriculum would have been woefully inadequate for your needs.”

Twilight’s face fell. “Oh…”

“Don’t be upset.” Celestia nuzzled Twilight fondly. “It all turned out well in the end. Because somehow, miraculously, you preformed the impossible, and passed the test on the terms you were given, not the terms that were hidden from you.”
Celestia looked at Spike. “You created life.”

“She…” Spike paled. “She made me? With her magic?”

“She didn’t even know what she was doing.” Celestia said. “Which was grand, because then she wouldn’t have done it. She tried, subconsiocsly, to create life in her attempt to hatch your rock. and every record shows that that was impossible. But the records were written by unicorns who tried to create life on their own. Several ponies, who weren’t even unicorns, have proven you can create life in pairs.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainboom…”

Rainbow Dash was confused. “What does my rainboom have to do with this?”

“Twilight’s magic was still attempting to create life when your rainboom shot across the sky. Generally, the examination is shielded from unicorn magic. But the pegasi magic in her rainboom made it through just fine. When her magic… for lack of a better word… impregnated your magic… you were able to enchant the rock to hatch Spike.”

“That was why your magic went out of control, so much so that it hurt you. It was a very violent childbirth. If I hadn’t intervened, both you and Spike might have died. As it was… Spike came out of it disfigured.”

“Woah, woah, woah, woah!” Rainbow Dash flew up to Celestia. “Time out! Are you saying Spike is my son?”

Princess Celestia sighed. “Well, that is one way you can look at it.”

Rainbow Dash gasped, her forehooves flying to her chest. “I’m too young to be a mommy!”

Twilight was apparently deep in thought, because she automatically corrected her. “You were too young when Spike was born, but your age is okay now.”

Rainbow Dash paled. “I’m way, way too young to be a mommy!”

“And technically, since it was your magic that impregnated my…” Twilight suddenly seemed to realize what she was saying, because she and Rainbow Dash shared twin looks of horror.

“I’m too female to be a daddy!” Rainbow Dash gagged and collapsed on the floor.

“Oh the scandal!” Rarity fainted next to Rainbow Dash.

“Are we having a fainting contest?” Pinkie Pie froze up, legs stiffening, and she tipped over onto the floor on her side.

Why didn’t you tell me? Twilight wanted to ask. But there was a more important question on her mind. “What do you mean disfigured?”

Princess Celestia sighed. “Well, you may have broken one rule, but not all of them. A unicorn cannot have a dragon for a child. But, you wanted a dragon to hatch, and badly. So when Spike was born, instead of being a healthy little unicorn, he was born looking like what a seven year old foal pictured a baby dragon to be like. Not even my magic was able to recover his true form.”

“Spike’s a unicorn?” Twilight asked.

“Yes.” Celestia nodded. “Which is why, unlike other dragons, he does not have wings. The son of a unicorn and a Pegasus, he could not be both. He was proven to be a unicorn when, during the age most foals get their cutie-marks, and unicorns intrinsically know spells relating to their special talents, he began to use spells to send scrolls to different people. Fire breath is to some dragons, what horns are to unicorns. If he had wings, he wouldn’t be able to breath fire.”

Twilight thought back, to when Spike first learned he could send and receive messages with his flame. She’d fallen asleep researching spells from the Renaissance period of magic. The library was a mess from her tearing through it. When she’d woken up, Spike was beaming at her, and every single book was back where it belonged, exactly. Dusting had been done, and he’d even sent her mail.

He said he’d sent them with his magic breath. He said he didn’t know about it until today, that he just didn’t want to run all the way down to the Princess Celestia and the fire came out of his mouth unbidden. And he’d gotten a reply the same way! It was… just like a regular cutie mark story, except for the mark failing to appear on his draconic flank.

And there was the time when Celestia had had to teach him how to walk, because he wasn’t built to walk on all fours but he did it anyway on instinct… as if he were a pony in a dragon’s body…

And such a combination of laziness and dedication could only possibly come from the child of Equestria’s laziest Pegasus and most studious unicorn…

“Spike… is a pony.” Twilight was strangely okay with that. Not so much with the fact that she was a mother. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Well, you were so young at the time.” Princess Celestia said. “And as you grew older, and developed a loving brother and sister bond, and I saw Spike’s eagerness to please, I decided it would be best if he not know who his parents were, and think that he was a majestic dragon instead of a pony that didn’t come out right.”

Rarity gasped. “Spike! Where did he go?”

Twilight looked around at the empty room, and a slow sinking feeling started bubbling up in her gut. She should have realized that he hadn’t said anything in a while. She wondered how long he’d been gone, how much he’d heard, how he felt about hearing this about himself! “Everypony fan out! We have to find him!”

~0o0~

Rainbow Dash sailed haphazardly through the skies. She’d been waken up from her sweet, sweet, unconscious bliss, and thrown back into the world where she was a daddy and her son was missing.

This was too much to take in. How could she be a daddy? A daddy all these years without knowing it? She didn’t know a thing about being a good dad. Thunder Crash never taught her…

Well, she wouldn’t think about Thunder Crash right now. Things were complicated enough. Right now she had a son who needed her, and even if she wasn’t the element of Loyalty, she had to find him. She was attached to the little guy, she was surprised to realize. She'd come to like him over the years. She'd made him her autobirographer, she'd hunted after the buffalo for him, and she'd followed Twilight and Rairty on his little dragon quest. She thought it was just her loyalty, and the chance to maybe kick some flank, but maybe it was some sort of mother's intuition? Wait, she was a daddy. Did dads have any intuition?

She suddenly spied something on the balcony overlooking the gardens. It wasn’t a purple and green something, but she realized it was Spike. She must have passed him three times already before spotting him. She did a one-eighty, and flew towards Twilight, who was doing a magical scan of the palace gates.

“Twi, I found him.” She said, landing next to her.

“Where?”

“The balcony over the gardens. He’s wearing really strange clothes too.” Twilight teleported them both there immediately.

They arrived right behind Spike. He was wearing a cape and a top hat, and dangling his legs and tail off the edge of the balcony.

“Spike?” Twilight asked.

Spike turned, and Rainbow Dash took a step back in shock. Spike was wearing a strange white pony mask that covered his entire face, except for where a mustache slipped through.

“I tried to do magic.” He said. “The mustache spell.” He tapped his mustache. “It works. I guess the Princess was right. I really am just a unicorn. And ugly, disfigured unicorn.”

“Spike…” Twilight reached out to him.

He turned away. “It’s no use Twilight. I shall live the rest of my disfigured days in the laboratory beneath the library. I’ll build a network of tunnels to the main floor so I can organize the shelves without being seen. I shall become… The Phantom of the Library.”

“Spike… I think you’re taking this way too dramatically.” Twilight said.

“You saw my face Twilight.” Spike moaned. “I’m the most hideous pony you’ve ever seen, although I admit the mustache helps some. How can I hope to woo Rarity now, except through drama?”

“Wait, hold up.” Rainbow Dash stepped forward. “You have a crush on Rarity?”

“Alas!” Spike stood and posed on the balcony’s edge. “I had a chance when I was a majestic dragon, but now, now I am but pony, and a scarred reflection of my former self. Oh woe to me, for my days shall be lonely and… dark… Rainbow Dash, why are you chuckling?”

Rainbow Dash was, indeed, snickering behind his hoof. “Oh nothing. It’s just…” She snickered. “It’s just now you have more of a chance than ever!”

“What?” Spike asked.

“Think about it.” Rainbow Dash said. “Before, you were a cute baby dragon. She probably thought, even if you were cute, she couldn’t be with you because you were a dragon. Now though, you’re a pony. You can actually be with another pony, in a way you’re not old enough to know yet. And you’re a disfigured pony too, and she’s all into that romantic junk about looking past a pony’s outside. Girls like Rarity love that dramatic angsty stuff."

“You really think so?” Spike asked perking up.

“Kid.” Rainbow slung a hoof over his shoulder. “You play your cards right, and you two will be dating in… oh… five years or so.” She shrugged. “I mean, there’s still the age difference. But I know a thing or two about getting on a pony’s good side, and I’m going to teach you everything I know.”

“Thanks Rainbow Dash.” Spike said. He took off his mask. “I guess I was being kind of silly, huh?”

“A little silly.” Twilight laughed and hugged him. “Are you okay with this?”

“Yeah, I know it’s hard discovering that world’s most awesome mare is your dad.” Rainbow Dash said. “But I want you to know, that everypony is awesome in their own way, and I expect you to live your own life, not try and live my life.”

Spike blushed. “Rainbow Dash, please don’t make this any more awkward than it already is. As far as I’m concerned, you’re still my friend, and Twilight’s still my sister.”

Twilight sat next to him. “That’s just how I feel.” Twilight said. “You’ve been my little brother ever since I can remember. And I may act like your mother sometimes, but that’s just what a big sister does.”

Rainbow Dash blushed. “Well, I dunno. I could be the most awesome dad ever. Or I could be a failure of a dad. But thinking of you as a friend would make me feel awkward, but acting like a dad would make you feel awkward.” She considered it for a moment, and then with a sly grin said; “And I think acting like a big sister would make everypony feel awkward.”

It started with Spike. Then with Twilight. Then with Rainbow Dash. A cascading torrent of laughter echoes across the Royal Gardens, as the three of them shared their first family moment of non-family-ness. Or at least, that was what Twilight would later write down in her friendship report. As Luna came from behind the mountain to raise the moon, and Celestia went to her balcony to lower the sun, they both smiled at the sight, and decided to let the sunset stretch for a while longer.

“Oh man.” Rainbow Dash started breathing again. “Seriously though, this week has been too much. First Fluttershy has strange parents, and now Spike?”

“I know.” Twilight harrumphed in what she was sure was a dignified manner. “Why didn’t they tell us? Even you Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy’s best friend!”

“Hey, I won’t hold it over her.” Dash shrugged. “I was this close to finding it out anyway.”

“Were you?” Spike asked.

“Oh yeah.” Dash nodded. “I’ve just read a mystery novel, and as Ponyville’s chief supplier of everything that is awesome, had decided to try my hoofwork at sleuthing. I was just a hare away from finding out her secret.”

“That’s impressive.” Twilight said, thinking that Rainbow Dash said ‘hair’.

“And I’m not done yet!” Rainbow Dash announced proudly. “Soon, I’ll sleuth everypony’s secrets!”

“How are you going to do that?” Twilight asked warily.

“Oh, it’s easy. You just have to be able to think of the most outlandish thing that fits all of the evidence, and then find the clues to support it. Bam! Mysteries solved.”

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Dash. That’s not how mysteries work.”

“Yes it is.”

“I think I’ve read more mystery novels then you have. I think I can definitely say, that’s not how mysteries work.”

“Alright then Ms. Take-my-rainboom-and-turn-it-into-a-dragon. How do you explain our son and Fluttershy’s parents if that’s not how mysteries work?”

Twilight tried to respond. She really did. Her mouth was working, it was opening and closing. But no words were coming out. “I… cannot argue with that.”

“Of course you can’t.” Rainbow Dash beamed. “I’m too awesome. Now let’s see… do you think Pinkie’s parents are aliens?”

“That cannot be –”

“Oh! I know! Hey, you know how Fluttershy has a yellow coat and a pink mane? Who else do we know who has a yellow coat and a pink mane, who is old enough to be Fluttershy’s mother?”

“I can’t think of anypony.”

“Mayor mare!”

“No.”

“She dies her mane.”

“I know that, and still; no.”

“Of course she’d never mention the tragic loss of her husband and her only daughter whom she thinks is dead…”

“Ponies do not necessarily have to have the same colored coats and manes as their parents…”

“I think it makes sense.”

“Thank you Spike! I’m totally calling it. Mayor mare will turn out to be Fluttershy’s mom, just you wait and see.”

Flames And Tears

“So what’s his favorite food?”

Twilight sighed. For the last few hours, Rainbow Dash had been peppering her with ‘subtle’ questions, because she wanted to ‘make up for the years of Spike’s childhood she missed’. When she put her mind to it, that girl could be more annoying then Pinkie Pie.

“Sapphires.”

“Huh. Hey, how would that work, him being a pony and all?”

“The cakes us sapphires for their sprinkles all the time. They taste delicious, although nopony can chew then. Spike can, because he has dragon’s teeth, so he can eat gems larger than sprinkles, or the ground up stuff Fluttershy used to eat. It has no nutritional value to him though.”

“Oh. So… what’s his favorite pony food?”

“Pancakes.”

“Um…”

“I’m sure Applejack knows how to make them.”

“Oh yeah! Thanks Twilight!” She dashed off, leaving Twilight alone in the lawn chair she’d set up on the foredeck.

The eight of them were on a Royal Brigantine, being shipped to the dragon lands by Canterlot’s finest crew. Rarity showed a surprising knowledge of sailing, and was basking in the adoration of the most strapping and handsome sailors. Pinkie Pie had found an eye-patch somewhere, and was playing pirate. Applejack was at war with herself; part of her wanted to throw up profusely, another part of her would rather die than admit she was having trouble. Rainbow Dash found this hilarious, which made both sides fight harder.

Fluttershy was making friends with the local sea birds.

Twilight averted her gaze from the sea of white birds perched around her. Why didn’t Fluttershy tell her? Why didn’t Fluttershy tell any of them? Hadn’t they lived together, fought together, been friends together? Hadn’t they supported each other through their dark times?

Was she scared they’d think of her differently if they knew she was royalty? Of course not! All of her friends knew from the start the Twilight was Princess Celestia’s personal student, and they never acted awkward around her. At least, not after that event with the Gala tickets. And now, Twilight was technically a princess-in-law and none of them had started getting wierd about it.

Was she afraid that they’d be scared of her parents? Of course not! They’d faced dragons before. Even more frightening, they’d faced an angry and desperate Fluttershy before. They’d face mythical nightmares and the god of discord himself, so she couldn’t possibly think she’d scare them.

Why? Why why why why?

“And there goes Luna.”

Twilight almost jumped from her seat as Princess Celestia walked around from behind her. She always had the uncanny ability to be where Twilight least expected. “Um… sorry Princess?”

Celestia pointed, and Twilight saw the streak of starlight against the evening sun. “My sister. She sneaks off every day to meet some mystery suitor. She thinks I don’t know, isn’t that adorable?”

“And you let her?” Twilight asked. “You don’t worry about her getting into trouble if you don’t know what she’s up to?”

“Oh, I know what she’s doing.” Princess Celestia said. “Simply not ‘who’. I trust her judgment on that. Are you ready to perform the Watercrawl spell?”

Twilight got up, and readied her magic. She could hear the rumbling of the Megafall coming up. She appreciated that Princess Celestia was letting her help cast the spell, instead of casting it herself like she could have. The ship was enveloped in glowing pink energy. Twilight strained, and even though she felt Celestia’s magic guiding hers,she soon collapsed with exhaustion.”

“Well done my student.” Princess Celestia beamed. “I only taught you this spell yesterday, and you managed to cover an entire half of the ship.”

“Pardon me Princess?” Applejack staggered up to the foredeck and risked opening her mouth to ask a question. “Is it jus’ me, or are we headed straight to a giant waterfall?”

“That’s the Megafall.” Princess Celestia informed Applejack. “The dragons live in the Darklands on the other side of the world. We’ll have to sail off the edge to reach them.”

“Oh.” Applejack grinned sheepishly. “Is that all? Okay then.”

“Applejack… I have a cure for seasickness.” Twilight mentioned.

“Nopony said nothing about me being seasick.” Applejack growled.

“I did.” Rainbow Dash flew down at her and beamed. “You’re greener then Granny Smith.”

“Hang onto yer tailfeathers landlubbers, we’re going offworld!” The Captain yelled over the roar of the falling water. The sea of white birds surrounding Fluttershy took off into the sky, as the ship tilted precariously on the edge of the world, and then finally fell off.

Surprisingly, Applejack kept her brunch in her stomach.

~0o0~

The ship anchored itself in the bay of Jormungandr. As the eight of them launched out in a dingy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Spike gasped in shock and alarm, as several sea dragons rose up from the water and escorted their dingy to shore.

“Greetings.” A large green sea dragon rose up on the bow. He spoke in an upper crust Trottingham accent, that was surprisingly quiet. “Ah, hullo Fluttershy.”

“Hello Lord Riptide!” Fluttershy called. Twilight stared at her. She wasn’t speaking like she normally was; she was yelling!

“Smaug has ordered an escort around your party.” Lord Riptide said. “We’ll escort you to shore, and the Knights In Smaug’s Service will escort you from there.”

They could see the knights before they even got to shore. There were twelve of them, each representing one of the twelve types of dragons. They were each probably born with different colors, but they’d been painted over with fierce white and black war paint, and they wore black armor with spikes on them.

“Thank you Lord Riptide!” Fluttershy yelled.

The eight of them got off the boat and onto shore. The ground was warm to the touch, like walking on a heated blanket, and small geysers occasionally erupted from the ground. As the K.I.S.S. escorted them along the road, Pinkie Pie put a popcorn popper over one of the geysers .

“What’s the big idea Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked, rubbing her ears. “When did you get so loud?”

“Oh, sorry.” Fluttershy blushed, her voice soft again. “But that’s how dominant dragons talk.”

“Dominant dragons?” Twilight asked.

Fluttershy nodded. “Like I said, dragons can’t comprehend the concept of being equals. We’re either dominant, or submissive, and we talk to each other accordingly.”

Twilight’s brain put two and two together.

Fluttershy acts submissive all the time around us… does that mean she doesn’t see us as equals? She doesn’t think we’re friends! Fluttershy… Fluttershy doesn’t think we’re friends.

Twilight shed a tear that instantly vaporized on the charcoal road they were walking on.

“There are twelve different tribes of dragons.” Princess Celestia was telling Twilight, who made an effort to focus on her. “Each one is responsible for a different task, instead of being assigned cutie marks. Some dragons look after the other dragons, hunting and cooking for them. Some dragons sleep for thousands of years to provide the heat for volcanoes, on our side of the world. Their constant smoke is the reason this side of the world is called the Darklands; when I lower the sun down here every night, it doesn’t get through the layer of smoke these dragons produce. They rely on luminescent dragons to fly low in the sky during the day, to give them light to see and bask in. Other dragons are responsible for fertilizing the earth down here, so that up there the earth produces lots of diamonds, and fertile soil for pony plant and rock farms.”

Normally Twilight would have been engrossed in this. But today, she just wasn’t in the learning spirit.

As they walked through the Darklands, they would sometimes see a young dragon peek out at them, only to be pulled back by an older dragon’s massive claw. Only a few dragons walked on the road, and they smiled at the ponies but avoided the Knights.

Eventually, the Knights In Smaug’s Service stopped at a great volcano. It was as large as the mountain that Canterlot was built upon, and a great majority of the smoke in the sky seemed to be coming from inside of it. Built into the side of the volcano was an enormous Citadel, with a cavernous entrance wide enough for five dragons to pass through side by side. It seemed to be made from iron, and had a gate to match it’s entrance.

Pinkie Pie had stars in her eyes. “That… is the biggest… oven… ever…”

“It’s not an oven.” One of the Knights said. “That is the epitome of beautiful draconian architecture.”

Pinkie Pie raised a hoof toward it and, as if in a trance, gently traced the figure in the air with her hooves. “Yes… for Fluttershy’s birthday wedding… it shall be the biggest cake ever!”

Rainbow Dash and Rarity shot a slightly unnerved look at Pinkie Pie and took a step away from either side of her.

“Pinkie, ya might want to tone it down a bit.” Applejack said.

“Are you kidding?” Rainbow Dash asked. “That’s awesome! The icing alone could fill a swimming pool!”

“Swimming in icing…” Pinkie Pie took a few steps forward, blocked by a dragon’s halberd.

“How dare you compare Smaug’s royal palace to an oven!” The dragon roared.

Fluttershy flew up to him. “Listen, she didn’t mean any harm by it! Princess Celestia’s Palace looks like a blender!”

“What?” Princess Celestia had a large hoof in the castle’s design. She was slightly offended.

“It’s not like she’s actually going to bake a cake!”

That snapped Pinkie out of her trance. “What do you mean I’m not going to bake a cake?” She gasped. “Have I come down with some sort of rare dragony no-cake disease?”

“Oh… um… no…”

“Then I will! Bake! A! CAKE!

“Pinkie Pie?” Applejack asked, trying to diffuse the situation “How would you feel if somepony mistook sugarcube corner for a toater, and stuffed two giant bread slices into the baby’s rooms?”

Pinkie gasped. “How dare they?”

“Now see… take what your feelin’ and imagine how Smaug might feel if you –”

“Sugarcube corner looks more like a waffle-iron then a toaster!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Mmmmmm… waffles…”

“Pinkie Pie.” Princess Celestia stepped forward. “Would you do me a royal favor and not use another kingdom’s palace as an oven?”

“Okie Dokie Lokie!” Pinkie Pie saluted.

“See, she’s all right, honest!” Fluttershy yelled.

The Knights snarled a bit, but led them into the volcano.

“They’re a little on edge.” Fluttershy told the group. “This is the first time since the Great War that any pony has been in the Darklands.”

They were escorted into the palace. The atrium was much more stylish then an oven, although Pinkie Pie noted that there were slots along the walls where wire racks could be inserted. There was a pool of lava to their left, and on the right an open doorway to a waiting area, filling with adult dragons resting, and young dragons playing among the hoard. In front of them was an enormous double door.

The Knights escorted them to the waiting room. “Please wait here, while your presence is announced.” The Knight with the halberd said, and he and all but two other dragons left.

“Why… It’s all so immense!” Rarity beamed.

“Yeah, immensely awesome!” Rainbow Dash shared a squeal of delight with her.

“Why, I have a hundred new fashion ideas already.” Rarity beamed. “I shall call it, Rarity’s Summer Dragon Collection!”

“I can’t believe I’m hanging with dragons!” Rainbow Dash flew up next to one of the knights. “I mean real, huge, scary, fire breathing dragons! No offense Fluttershy.”

“None taken.”

Spike looked around. The other adult dragons were looking at them warily, some shuffling around. “I still don’t think they’re being very hospitable.”

“Oh no, this is very hospitable for dragons.” Fluttershy looked around beaming. “I mean, they’re a little scared of you, but otherwise this is very hospitable.”

Suddenly she gasped.

“What is it Fluttershy?” Applejack asked.

“They’re about to start a game of King Of The Hoard.” Fluttershy took off. “I’m going to go down and play if that’s alright with you.”

She fluttered down to where the other dragons were playing. Most of them had seen Fluttershy before, so they let her join in their game.

And that was the last straw for Twilight.

The bell rang for the game to begin, and Fluttershy immediately flew to the top of a pile of gems. “Queen of the hoard!” Fluttershy roared.

The dragons cheered, and ran forward… only to be stopped by a pink force field.

“… what just happened?” One of the dragons asked.

“Excuse me, coming through!”

The dragon stared at the purple unicorn who casually walked through the forcefield and toward Fluttershy. “Queen of the hoard, coming through.”

Applejack’s eyes widened. Out of all of her friends, there was none who knew her better then Applejack. She quickly rushed over to the Princess. “Ah, Princess, ah think you might want ta intervene here afore it gets too ugly...”

“No way!” Pinkie Pie sat down and started munching on her popcorn. “This is gonna be good!”

Twilight reached the top of the mountain of gems, where Fluttershy, once a pillar of confidence, was shuddering. “T-twilight? W-what are you doing here?”

“I’m playing King of the Hoard.” Twilight snapped. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Um… why?”

“Because.” Twilight leveled a glare at Fluttershy, that would have sent anypony save the self proclaimed ‘stare master’ running back to wherever they came from. “Apparently, dragons don’t have room in their vocabulary for ‘friendship’. So, I thought since you considered me your ‘pack leader’ I’d earn that title.”

Her horn started to glow with a pink light, and all the onlookers cringed.

“Twilight… please stop.” Fluttershy reached over with her hoof, and tapped Twilight on the horn, blocking her magic.

The dragons gasped, and looked to Twilight to make the next move.

“To be honest Applejack, I am very apprehensive of interfering with the current situation.” Princess Celestia said. “They’re good friends, I’m sure they’ll be able to sort things out.”

“If you’re my friend, then why didn’t you tell me about your parents!?” Twilight asked, trying again to fire up her horn.
Fluttershy tapped it away. “I was scared Twilight. I’m always so scared…”

“But you didn’t trust us?”

“Oh, I trust you as much as anypony.”

“If you trusted us you wouldn’t be scared of us!” Twilight said. “You would have felt comfortable being the real you, instead of faking shyness all the time!”

“That was the real me.” Fluttershy whimpered, as she lightly tapped Twilight’s glowing horn again. “I’m not divided into two ponies. I am a dragon, and that means that I express myself as shy or aggressive depending on who I’m talking to. But I’m still Fluttershy. Whether I’m passive or dominant, I’m still scared of shadows, I still care about my friends and my pack, I still love animals, and I still don’t like strangers looking at me.”

Twilight’s horn started to glow again, but then it seemed to flicker out as she saw tears well up n Fluttershy’s eyes.

Somewhere below them, Pinkie Pie dropped her popcorn.

“It’s been hard Twilight… to learn how to be somehow stand up for myself, and not scare ponies away. It’s hard to realize… that right now there’s more choices than just sitting here and taking it, or yelling at you to stop until you cry. I… I made Rarity and Pinkie Pie cry once. But I think… I thought that I was getting better at it, the more I was friends with you.”

She sniffed. “But… if you really want to be my pack leader…”

She reached out, and swung a hoof at Twilight’s jaw. It looked impressive, but she barely felt it, like a whisper of the wind. Fluttershy recoiled, her face contorting into an image of terrible pain, and she grasped her forehoof. With a cry, she tumbled off of the mountain of gems, and landed at the bottom of the pile.

“She’s queen of the hoard.” Fluttershy whispered to the dragons, hiding her eyes with her mane as she held her hoof in mock pain.

The dragons all stared at Twilight in shock, and stepped back from her, even though she still had a shield up. Then the bell rang through the valley, and they all ran. The game was over. Twilight felt a churning in the pit of her stomach as Rarity rushed to Fluttershy’s side.

Princess Celestia flew up to the top of the hoard and straight through Twilight’s force field. “I feel like you might want to apologize to Fluttershy.” Princess Celestia said.

“I-I think I should… yeah.” Twilight mumbled, and she slowly lowered herself down the mountain of gemstones.

Applejack and Pinkie Pie met her at the bottom. “Boy Twilight, that looked super- duper-duper-duper-triple-chocolate-topped-not-fun.” Pinkie Pie growled. “I mean, it started out pretty cool, but then at the end Fluttershy cried. I thought you were supposed to have an epic magic vs. dragon kung-fu fight, and then be closer friends than ever, not yell at each other alot!”

“Gosh Twilight, I ain’t seen you this riled up since Shining Armor couldn’t spare the time to tell you he was gettin’ married.” Applejack sighed. “Sugarcube, you know what ya have to do now, right?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. I have to apologize to Fluttershy for being so insensitive, and then right a friendship report on it.”

“And then throw a ‘yay nopony’s upset at each other’ party!” Pinkie Pie said. “Am I right? Am I right?”

“Yes Pinkie.” Twilight said. “At least, I hope she’ll forgive me so she will.”

“Aw shoot, you know Fluttershy’ll forgive ya.” Applejack said. “But Twilight… ya better not blow up at her again.”

“I couldn’t help it!” Twilight cried. “I was just so mad, that I had to lecture her. Don’t you feel that way Applejack? You’re the element of honesty after all?”

Applejack put a hoof to her chin in thought. “Twi… what’s ma favorite color?”

Twilight blinked. “Um… red?”

“Not even close.”

“Ooh, ooh, I know! Ask me!” Pinkie Pie raised her hoof.

“Now what’s Rarity’s favorite color?”

“Royal Violet, except on weekends where she prefers marshmallow white, or baby-eye blue.”

“Now, ya know Rarity’s favorite color, but ya don’t know mine.” Applejack said. “Does that mean ah hid my favorite color from you? No! It just means that you never asked, and ah never volunteered that particular fact. Yer never gonna know everything about a pony Twi. And ya don’t have to. ‘Cause the feelin’ of warmth, and kindness, and unstoppable optimism ya get when Fluttershy’s around ain’t no lie.”

Twilight looked at Applejack like she’d sprouted another head. “Applejack, you know I think you’re the smartest pony I know besides Celestia, right? But there’s a huge difference between knowing somepony’s favorite color, and knowing if they were raised by the king of dragons, or knowing that they’re going to be married.”

“I know!” Pinkie Pie still had her hoof raised. “I know Applejack’s favorite color!”

“Uh, Twilight.” Twilight stopped as Spike pointed something out.

There was a wall of teenage dragons between Twilight, and where Fluttershy was being consoled by Rarity and Rainbow Dash. “You’re not aloud to see Fluttershy.” One of the dragons said.

“What do you mean I’m not aloud to see her?” Twilight asked, affronted.

“We’re not scared of you.” The dragon continued. “Well, much. You may be a monster, but Fluttershy’s a monster too, and she’s always been a tenderclaw to us. But you almost made her cry, and it’s illegal to let tears fall in the Great Volcano, even for a princess! We’re not going to let you pass.”

Twilight blinked. “What? No, you’re not going to keep me from seeing my friend!”

“Smaug will see you now.”

Twilight looked up. And up. And up. One of the Knights was looming over them.

“It’s time to go my little pony.” Celestia flew down and put a wing over Twilight. “You can apologize to her later.”

"Her favorite color!" Pinkie Pie whispered. "It's..."

"Pinkie, hush." Applejack hissed. "Ah don't think Twilight's in the mood to know mah favorite color right now."

~0o0~

Fluttershy didn’t cry. Tears had somehow found their ways to her eyes, but she wiped them off with her mane. Letting a tear touch the floor of the Great Volcano was illegal.

But she felt like crying. Twilight had always been such a good friend… and she’d let her down. She couldn’t believe how badly she’d let down Twilight. She could eat herself! (A dragon saying, with the same meaning as ‘I could kick myself’.)

But she couldn't dwell on that. Soon, she would see her father again. He was always so smart… he’d know how to fix this.

She smiled at the thought of seeing her father again. As the Knights opened the double doors, her heart bounded, and she flew onto the Atrium. “O Smaug!” She yelled. “May you live… for… ever…”

The dragon on her throne wasn’t her father.

It was Lord Smooze, the large black mountain dragon who was previously the leader of the Ironhide Pack. He was larger than any dragon in the room, with scales as black as pitch. He wore an eyepatch, that didn’t fully conceal claw marks that looked… that looked about the size of her father’s claws. He hadn’t worn an eyepatch when she saw him and her father during the migration.

“Finish it, Daughter.” Smaug said.

“A… a humble member of your pack… kneels before you…” Fluttershy kneeled and looked around the room. Lord Krastos was smiling wickedly at her. And her mother Babbage… she looked so sad.

Tears threatened on Fluttershy’s eyes. She couldn’t help it. Her mother noticed and shook her head quickly, giving Fluttershy a pleading look. It was illegal to let tears fall on the Great Volcano. But Fluttershy knew she wouldn’t be able to stop from crying.

“Smaug… F-f-father…” She hated having to address this Smaug as father, but she had to. It was the law. “May I please… have your permission… to leave?”

Smaug leaned forward, and smiled. “No.”

Fluttershy couldn’t help herself.

She burst into tears.

Her father was dead. Long live Smaug.

Family Creeds

Not one tear of hers fell to the floor.

As she sobbed, a pink bubble had enveloped itself around her, gathering her tears in a pool in the bottom.

Twilight’s horn glowed with a righteous fury.

She didn’t know why Fluttershy’s dad would do something like that, but she wasn’t going to stand by and let it happen, especially if what the other dragons said was true, and tears falling was illegal.

She’d only seen Fluttershy cry like this once. After the Grand Galloping Gala, when she realized how mean she must have looked to the animals. This was a line crossed, and she felt Rainbow dash and Applejack on either side of her, ready to start a major diplomatic incident over their friend’s tears. ‘Let Celestia handle this’. She mouthed. Applejack nodded, and bit hard on Rainbow Dash’s tail just as a precaution.

Smaug looked to the other ponies. “Welcome to my Cave, your Royal Majesty Celestia, The Queen-Who-Would-Be-Called-Princess, The Sun-Bearer, The Sky-Master, The Gemstone-Maned, The Great-Trickster, The Unseen-Hand, The Silent Watcher, The Mirror-Match of All-Dragons, The Gardener, The Sunland Lord, Tan-Kthulthu the World Serpent’s Daughter, Equestria’s Mother-Of-Hearts, Discord-Bane, Tenderhoof, and Haerth’s Fire.”

Princess Celestia stepped forward, putting a comforting wing around Fluttershy before answering. “I am Welcomed… Smaug. Have you other honorifics?”

“I am Smaug.” The dragon king boasted. “I need no other honorifics.”

“Then Smaug, may I ask leave of you to have my subject leave the room? She is clearly distraught for some reason.”

“She is not your subject, Princess Celestia.” Smaug said. “She is our daughter, and our princess. Let us instead finish matters with all haste, so she may leave quicker, to dry her eyes.”

“Some dad.” Spike growled, and the rest of the ponies, who hadn’t yet realized Fluttershy’s father was dead, nodded in wary agreement. Fluttershy was still crying, and she’d filled up a fifth of the orb with her tears.

“We have invited you’re here, to bear witness to our daughter’s marriage. But also, to bring about a new peace between Dragons and Ponies. Before we begin peace talks, one matter must be addressed.” He pointed to Spike. “Your use of dragons as slave labor.”

Princess Celestia tittered. “Oh Smaug, Spike is not a dragon. He is a pony, who merely looks like a dragon. If you take a closer look, you will see that he is not any type of dragon you know.”

Smaug leaned in and took in Spike with his one eye. Spike stood there, anxiously, as Smaug looked him over and Fluttershy cried in the background.

“You are right.” Smaug said, after considerable inspection. “I apologize for the assumption, Your Majesty. From Fluttershy’s reports it seemed…” He waved a claw. “But no matter. For the duration of your stay, you will be the honored guest of Lady Babbage’s cave. You will unfortunately be escorted by my Knights at all times and require advanced notice to go elsewhere, so as not to disturb my subjects, but otherwise it is my hope that you enjoy the hospitality of the Great Pack.”

Lady Babbage looked like she was close to tears as well.

Then Smaug turned to Fluttershy. “Fluttershy, you are obviously distraught.” That was the polite way of saying it. The force field was halfway full of her tears as she continued bawling. “Before you leave, I would like you to meet your future husband.” Smaug waved. “As it turns out, Lord Krastos was secretly raising his own monster.” One of the three strategically placed side doors opened, and out came the last pony anypony expected to see.

He was a Pegasus. His wings were small, and shriveled up, probably from the same malnutrition that had almost claimed Fluttershy. But the rest of him was immense, as large as an alicorn, built like a brick house that was built by dragons. His muscle’s muscles had muscles. His cutie mark was a set of weights, and upon closer observation, the weights on his cutie mark weighed one hundred tons. Who knew what age he was at when he got his cutie mark, but if he was at any normal pony’s age and he somehow managed to lift that? Apparantly, being raised by a dragon was better for strength then being raised by the Apples.

“I’ve seen this guy before.” Rainbow Dash whispered. “He showed up in Ponyville for the twister event. What was his name again…”

The stallion opened his mouth. “I AM TARZAN THE MIGHTY!” He roared.

“I know you two are going to be very happy together.” Smaug smiled. “But for now, you seem distressed for some reason. So please, by all means, go back to your cave and get some rest. I’ll be all ears if you want to talk about it later.” To the ponies, his smile was kindly. To the dragons, it was full of mockery.

Pinkie Pie jumped onto the force field, and began to roll it out of the room, Fluttershy still attached to it. The orb was now almost full of her tears, and she still didn’t stop crying. They made it halway out of the atrium before the Great Pack adjourned, and Lady Babbage scooped Fluttershy up and rested her on her back, where she hugged her mother and cried.

~0o0~

She woke up the next morning, after crying herself to sleep.

She was fairly surprised to see the warm charcoal nest she’d grown up in instead of the bed she had in her cottage. Then she remembered the previous day. She sniffled, weakly, and for a moment she considered not getting up at all.

Then she heard somepony snoring beside her.

She screamed and shot up to the ceiling in a panic. Did it already happen? Did I already marry that Tarzan?

But no. It was just Twilight Sparkle. The snore was coming from next to her nest, not in it, where Twilight had been sleeping on one of her dad’s books. Twilight snorted awake. “Fluttershy? You’re awake?”

Fluttershy sighed with relief, and landed. “Y-yes, I am.”

Twilight got up from where she had laid down. “I’m sorry, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy frowned. “F-for what?”

“I’m sorry about your dad.” Twilight said. “He sounds like a great dragon. You mother explained everything last night. About how your dad’s stare didn’t work on Smooze because he had only one eye. We’re so sorry Rainbow Dash, Rarity and I stayed up with you. I don’t know where they are now.” Twilight blushed. “Also… I’m sorry for what I said before then. After the whole ‘Queen of the hoard’ thing. I just over-analyzed everything and I made it so much worse for you –”

“It’s okay Twilight.” Fluttershy said with a smiled. It had hurt when Twilight had said them, but she would hurt more if she continued watching Twilight blame herself for it. Besides, any debt she might have held against her for her harsh words was erased because Twilight had thought to save her from her tears. “You’re a good friend.”

Twilight sighed with relief, and hugged Fluttershy. Fluttershy buried herself into the warmth of Twilight’s mane. Fluttershy felt safe with Twilight around. With her in her arms, she felt the troubles of the previous day melt away like Nightmare Moon or Discord. With her, she was sure she could find a way to face her father’s death, and her impending marriage to… Tarzan…

Suddenly, she felt twilight tense up, and sniff experimentally. “Smoke?”

Fluttershy sniffed as well. Her nose wasn't as sensitive to smoke, but she soon realized it wasn’t normal dragons smoke. “A fire! Ohmigoodness ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness!”

The two of them ran down to the kitchen, where they were met with the sight of Rainbow Dash, covered in something yellow and sticky, trying to cook ash. “I was just trying to make pancakes!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

Twilight ran forward. “Did you blend the batter before cooking it?” She asked.

“Yeah, but I couldn’t find the blender, so I just mixed it with a miniature tornado.”

Fluttershy flew to the pantry and grabbed the blender. “It’s okay Rainbow Dash. We’ll make a new batch.”

“Hey Flutters! You’re up! And… why do your parents have a model of Celestia’s Palace in their kitchen cupboards?”

“It’s a blender.”

Twilight cleared the smoke away with her magic. “Odd, why didn’t anypony else notice the smoke?”

And that was when Fluttershy’s ears picked up the soft scratching of claws against stone, and wings preparing to flare.

She spun around just as a teenage purple dragon with long golden hair leaped out at her, and brought a hoof down on his face.

The other dragon snarled and blew fire at her, but Fluttershy ducked out of the way and put him in a chokehold. He reached behind him and flipped her off of his back and onto the stone floor. The pair of them rolled across the floor until they hit a wall, where Fluttershy finally pinned the dragon. They glared at each other for a while.

And then Fluttershy began to tickle him.

He laughed and tried to swat her away, but she pressed on. She finally relented, and the two pulled each other into a hug.

“Fluttershy!”

“Vulcas!”

“It’s so good to see you again!”

“Look at how much you’ve grown!”

Twilight and Rainbow Dash stared on in bemusement.

“Howdie all.” Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie walked into the room. “Rarity heard Fluttershy wake up, and Pinkie figured we oughta give her a dose of normality again to get her smiling as soon as possible.”

“Good idea.” Twilight said, watching the two siblings wrestle.

Spike walked into the room, yawning. “I’m up Twi. You didn’t need to start the pancakes without me. You know I can –” Spike saw Rainbow Dash looking sheepish, and tried to cover the pan.

Spike’s entrance picked up Vulcas’ attention. But the attention was held by something different. “WOAH!” Vulcas stood up. “Is my hair straight?”

Fluttershy blinked. “Um… yes?”

Vulcas strode towards Rarity, and began to do a mating dance.

Rarity was visibly distressed. “Oh dear… Twilight, when did you find the time to teach Fluttershy’s brother to dance?”

“Ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness, ohmigoodness!” Fluttershy blushed, and hid her head in her hooves.

“Vulcas!”

All heads turned, as Lady Babbage strode into the kitchen, Princess Celestia behind her. She had aged gracefully. No longer the young mother of Fluttershy, she was a grand draconis queen. And though she still had some elements of her former ‘cute’ self, the only word to describe her now was ‘regal’.

“That is not the way we raised you, young drake.” She said. “Other dragons may go straight for the dance, but you should get to know her first, give her flowers and gemstones, maybe ask Fluttershy about pony courtship rituals.”

“Wait, what?” Rarity squeaked.

“Yes mom.” Vulcas bowed his head.

“Woah, woah waoh!” Spike stalked up to Vulcas. “Courtship rituals?”

“Well… I know it’s a bit weird.” Vulcas rubbed his head. “I’m a scaly reptile, she’s a fuzzy pony.”

“Fuzzy?” Rarity was affronted.

“But… well… look at her and tell me you don’t think she’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”

Spike looked at Rarity. “She’s the most beautiful pony I’ve ever seen.” He said. Then he turned back. “And thus, she’s off limits to you.”

“Hold on, who are you to decide whether I’m off limits or not?” Rarity asked.

“So you will go on a date with me?” Vulcas asked. “Or… hang on, Fluttershy, what are pony courtship rituals?”

Fluttershy was too busy burying her face in her hoofs to participate in the conversation.

Her mother brushed a wingtip against her. “Fluttershy? Do you want to talk?”

Fluttershy nodded, and Lady Babbage carefully lifted Fluttershy onto her back. She carried her through the hallways of their cave, past the stairs, and the Hoard Room, and into the Library.

Stockholm’s library was the biggest dragon library in the world, in every sense of the word. Most of the books on his shelves wouldn’t fit through the door of any normal pony’s home. And there were so many shelves filled with them, they descended down for two more floors, which in pony terms was thirty more floors. Judging from the disorganized mess on the enormous study desk, Twilight had already been at the books, voraciously taking in anything she could while she was here.

Lady Babbage set her daughter down on the desk. “You have good friends Fluttershy. A fine pack. I’m so proud of you.”
Fluttershy nodded.

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t get in touch with you earlier. Ever since the… fight… I’ve been under an unofficial house arrest.”

“It’s not your fault.” Fluttershy shivered. “It was… so shocking. Yesterday was the worst day of my life.”

“Do you want a shoulder to cry on?” Her mother offered.

“No thanks.”Fluttershy shook her head. “I’ve cried enough. Now I have to… I have to…”

“You don’t have to do anything.” Her mother nuzzled her. “You don’t have to do anything at all.”

“I have to get married…”

“NO!” Lady Babbage roared, her clawed fists banging down on the desk top.

Fluttershy jumped back, surprised. “Mom…?”

Her mother sighed, and swayed, almost sinking to the floor before she regained her regal bearing. “Fluttershy… before fighting your father, Lord Smooze fought Lord Krastos. Unusually, Lord Krastos let his survive the fight, but before the fight ended Krastos had torn out Smooze’s eye. Without his depth perception, Lord Smooze wouldn’t be effected by your father’s Stare.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “You think Lord Krastos…”

“I think it’s a bit too convenient that all of a sudden he has a son you can marry.” Lady Babbage snarled. “I think that he’s trying to attack me from the shadows, just like the coward he is. I think he’s been playing the long game, planning this week out since the moment he realized you existed. I think that oing anything he wants, including getting married to his… whatever that pony is to him, would be a very bad idea.”

Fluttershy bowed her head. “But… I’m a princess. If Smaug tells me to get married, there’s not much I can…”

“You can say no.” Lady Babbage said. “And I would start a war for you.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Oh no! Mom, you’d be killed!”

“And that would buy enough time for you to escape.” Lady Babbage lifted her chin. “Fluttershy…”

“No.” Fluttershy shook her head. “No mom. You leave everything to me.” She smiled. “I’ve grown so much stronger since my last visit. My friends have grown so much stronger. They’ll help me, whatever I do. I don’t want you to risk you life for me.”

“No mother would do less for her child.” Lady Babbaged glared. But her glare softened, and she nuzzled Fluttershy again. “Oh… my Fluttershy…” She whispered softly. “You have grown.”

“I know Mom.” Fluttershy hugged her in return.

The two of them shared the blissful peace and quiet of the library.

Fluttershy broke the silence. “So… you’ve been talking to Princess Celestia?” Fluttershy asked.

Lady Babbage giggled excitedly. “She has a phoenix!”

“I know. Isn’t it exciting?”

“She’d been telling me all about her! Oh, but I must visit Canterlot some day and meet Philomena!”

Fluttershy giggled. “It’s good to be home mom. Despite everything. Right here, right now, I’m happy.”

~0o0~

From deep in the dark basement of his cave, Lord Krastos watched Lady Babbage and Fluttershy hug through a mirror. He cackled wickedly, only for the cackle to turn into a cough.

“You’re getting worse.” Smaug gloated from the shadows behind him.

Lord Krastos reached out a claw for a goblet at his side. He crushed some emeralds into the chalice and took a long, deep draught. He took a fresh breath of air through his throat. “No, Smaug… I’ve never felt more alive.”

“You and I have vastly different opinions on the word ‘alive’.” Smaug growled. “You’re near death. You should be entering the Deep Sleep, instead of constantly staying awake.”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Lord Krastos chuckled.

Smaug squirmed slightly, as Lord Krastos turned to look at him. “You never would have had the chance to become Smaug without me. Now everything is going exactly according to plan… and you want me to sleep?”

Smaug frowned. “Careful how you speak to me.”

“I am careful.” Lord Krastos said. “I am very careful not to provoke you. You would destroy me utterly in a fight, and then where would we both be?” Lord Krastos took another draught. “Leave me.”

“You do not order Smaug.” Smaug growled, but it was a half hearted growl.

“The rest of the world may believe that, but you and I know better.” Lord Krastos sighed. “I tore out your eye so you would be immune to Stockholm’s stare. I boosted your fighting prowess with magic to defeat him in ‘fair’ combat. And if you want to have the same chance against Celestia, you won’t dare harm me. So leave… please.”

“Just have your magic ready.” Smaug growled and left.

Lord Krastos listened, and waited, until Smaug closed the door to the basement behind him. “… And my mind, your majesty. My magic… and my mind. Of the two, I know which one is the more powerful.”

He traced a claw along the mirror, watching Lady Babbage talking with Princess Celestia. “Aaahh… Babbage… Smaug’s dragon age will fade, as all empires do. And I will go to my own rest soon enough. All things in life, are only temporary pleasures. But there is one temporary pleasure, I have yet to have… A final joy to steal…”

He turned, cracked his claws, and reached out towards the coral growing on the wall. The coral’s tubes spiraled the full length of the basement’s walls. Various small creatures used to live inside the corals, but Krastos had burned them out long ago, while polishing the tubes with his fire. Reaching out, he began to play on the keyboard he’d attached to the coral, melodies floating around the perfectly acoustic basement.

My mother dear, she called me sickly…
And my father proud, he called me weak…
But when I look into your eye I find,
The presence of a willful mind,
The same that made my life not look so bleak.

I was never the leader of any pack,
And every dragon called me a creep.
But I found they changed their tune,
When under cover of the moon,
I murdered both my parents in their sleep!

He began hacking again, and took another draught from his chalice, then picking up the music in a faster pace.

Lesson One: Being a coward means being alive!
Lesson Two: Don’t let on that you can connive!
Lesson Three: Strike when they least expect your strike!
Lesson Four: Know exactly where to swing that pike!

This is the Creed of Cunning!
The art of Krastos the Great!
And, you’ll never see me coming,
Until it’s far too late!

But then I her eyes met mine across the crater…
And I knew at last I’d met my mirror-match!
She turned away each of my tricks,
I had to learn to take my licks,
Because she was just too good of a catch!

But no you had to marry that grandstander!
And our duels piled up without an end!
He turned you against me,
But I’m going to set you free,
And then your sweetness will make amends.

Lesson five: Patient is your greatest ally!
Lesson six: Know exactly where to ply!
Lesson seven: Stay in the darkest shadows!
Lesson eight: Don’t stop till the reaper crows!

This is the Creed of Cunning!
The adventure of Krastos the Great!
And I hope that she can see me coming,
So that we can properly enjoy our date!

The music turned more sinister, darker, and Krastos began to play the corals like a dragon possessed.

Everything is going according to plan,
Call it genius, or destiny, or fate!
My mirror-match no longer she,
Shall bow, this is her destiny,
It’s time for her final checkmate!

Oh, I can’t wait to get her to the altar!
Where she can finally say I do!
And make no mistake,
It’ll be a piece of cake!
Because if she doesn’t, I’ll turn her Precious Pony Daughter
into GLUUUUUEEEE!!!!!

From deep in his dark basement cave, Krastos began to laugh, punctuation occasionally by a hacking cough. Flame spilled out of his mouth, enchanted with an illusion spell. The green flame transformed into a vision of Fluttershy, and as the caricature smiled, a green tendril of flame formed the head of a dragon, opened its jaws wide, and devoured Fluttershy’s image, leaving only a faint green smoke, and the sick laughter of Krastos.

Cold Feet

Somehow, the topic of cheering Fluttershy up had turned into a game of cards, followed by a game of belching.

Crackle and Hotshot had come around, and while they both had an impressive range and heat, Fluttershy had a singer’s lungs. She took a long draught of rainbow juice, let it stir in her stomach for a while, then took a deep breath and let one rip! The resulting stream of fire lasted a full minute, and singed the roof of the cave.

“My turn!” Pinkie Pie took a draught of rainbow, and her face cycled through various colors before finally belching a small lick of fire. “Waauugh, that was so spicy!” Pinkie Pie moaned.

“It’s an acquired taste.” Fluttershy grinned bashfully.

Rainbow Dash looked disdainfully at the jar in the middle of the table. “Rainbow actually has negative wing nutrients. It’s toxic to Pegasuses. I can’t believe you’re actually drinking the stuff! I can’t believe you’ve been drinking this stuff since you were a baby! How can you even fly at all!?”

“I had a good teacher.” Fluttershy grinned.

Rainbow Dash nodded. “That’s right, the best.” She beamed.

“Can I try some?” Spike asked.

“Oh no.” Twilight shook her head. “It’s way too spicy for you.”

“Okay, I understand.” Spike nodded somberly. Then he grabbed the jug and took a shot anyway.

“Way to go little buddy!” Hotshot crowed.

“Ooh, you said he’s a pony right?” Crackle asked. She shook her head. “He’s going to feel that.”

Spike did seem to feel that. His face went through less ranges of color than Pinkie Pie, but that was probably because he had scales. And then he unleashed a fireball that made Fluttershy’s shot look like chilly autumn morning.

The entire room was covered in black soot, including its occupants. Spike was rolling around the ground, holding his stomach and moaning in pain.

Twilight glared at Rainbow Dash. The narrowed eyes were all the expression to be made out from the soot covered face. “I blame you for this.”

“Me?” Rainbow Dash asked. “What did I do?” Then she leaned down to the dragon. “Hey, props little guy. That was awesome!”

“Radical!” Hotshot added.

“Bodacious!” Crackle supplied.

“That was the biggest fireball I’ve ever seen!” Vulcas shook the soot off of him. “I’d give it a nine.”

“Like you’d give Rarity a nine?” Pinkie Pie winked at Vulcas.

Hotshot blushed. “Dude, you said you wanted Cute Monster Girl magazines for researching your sister’s culture.”

“I think we agreed not to mention this topic ever again!” Vulcas and Rarity glared at their respective friends.

Applejack kept her hat covering her face for the entire conversation. “Full house.” She laid her cards down.

Everybody looked at the fire blackened cards. “How can you tell?”

Hotshot immediately put his cards down, in the same state as Applejack’s. “Royal Flush!”

“I had a Royal Flush!” Crackle said angrily.

“Look Crackle, a muffin!”

“Where!?”

While she was distracted, Hotshot took the cards out of her hand and tossed them away. "Must've been my imagination. Anyway, I had the Royal Flush!"

There was a knock at the doorway. Lady Babbage entered the room. “I’m sorry to interrupt. But Tarzan is here for his pre-bridal meeting with Fluttershy.”

“Can I beat him up?” Vulcas asked.

“I doubt that would go over well, so no.” Fluttershy’s mother tucked her under a wing. “They’ve requested the other ponies keep a respectable distance as well.”

The six of them exchanged looks.

“We’ll be just around the corner the entire time.” Twilight said, and the others nodded in agreement.

Rarity began to fuss over Fluttershy’s hair. “Now, Fluttershy, remember, you can always say ‘no’ any time.”

Fluttershy nodded.

“If he won’t take no for an answer, then we will have words with him. Trust us, this ‘Tarzan’ character will regret messing with one of the Elements of Harmony.”

Fluttershy nodded.

“Now go out there, and see if he has better manners than a certain pony prince.”

Fluttershy squeaked, and was pushed out to the cave’s foyer.

Crackle and Hotshot whispered good lucks, and Lady Babbage and Vulcas accompanied her. The others alternated poking their heads out from behind a curtain.

Lord Krastos escorted his ‘son’ in through the entrance. “Lady Babbage, how delightful – ”

“Get out!” Lady Babbage snapped.

Lord Krastos looked hurt. “Are we not Mirror-matches? Have I not left you alone in this period of mourning?”

“Not even on your best day have you been welcome in my home. Out Lord Krastos!”

The Lord smirked. “You should thank me. Lord Smooze wanted Fluttershy to marry his own son, and I know how she objects to Garble.”

“Knights.” Lady Babbage ordered.

“They are loyal only to Smaug.” Lord Krastos said.

“And charged with protecting the innocent. Smaug wanted Fluttershy to meet Tarzan, not you. They would not be neglecting their duties if I ordered them to have you thrown out.”

Lord Krastos admitted defeat, and left with a bow.

Tarzan strutted towards Fluttershy undeterred, and began the smooth motions of the mating dance. Well, as smooth as they could be when danced by a pony.

“Um… hello, I’m Fluttershy.”

“I know.” Tarzan said, continuing the dance. “And you already know my name of course. We were destined to be together.”

“Um… no…” Fluttershy was annoyed. “I know your name because Smaug told me.”

“Destiny!” Tarzan repeated. “You were destined to be my queen, just as I was destined to be the strongest dragon of them all!”

Fluttershy frowned. This wasn’t going like she was expected. She didn't know what she expected, but it wasn't this. “I don’t want to be queen. Maybe we should get to know each other first before -”

“If you didn’t want to be queen, then why are you so attracted to me – the future king?” Tarzan plucked a rose from out of nowhere and put it between his teeth with a sly grin. He seemed to not notice the matching scowls on the faces of Fluttershy’s family.

“I’m not.”

“Come on, let’s go outside for a walk.”

“The Knights won’t let me outside.”

“They will if you’re with me.”

“No.”

“Playing hard to get?”

“Very, very, very hard to get.”

“Then it’s your good fortune that I am very, very, very hard.”

Vulcas suddenly grew a mischievous smirk. “Hey Mr. Hard, guess what? She can’t be your queen, because she has a Pack Leader.”

Tarzan’s eyes widened. “What!?” He stomped his hoofes on the ground. “Unacceptable! Fear not Lady Fluttershy, I will destroy pretender who dares to be your superior, and by extension mine! FOR I AM TARZAN THE MIGHTY!!!!!”

~0o0~

Lord Krastos waited outside with the Knights, playing a game of cards to pass the time. As he waited, he heard a muffled boom, and Tarzan came flying out of the cave’s entrance, singed black.

“What did we learn?” He asked, without looking up.

Tarzan coughed. “Magic is strong?”

“Magic and mind Tarzan.” Lord Krastos blew a healing spell towards Tarzan. “Magic and mind. The two strongest forces in the universe. Try using your strength more carefully, and fighting Vulcas instead of –”

“No!” Tarzan got up. “Second round Twilight! YEEEEAAAAHHH!!!”

He rushed back into the cave, and Lord Krastos sighed, as he heard a second muffled boom. "Of all the ponies in the world, I chose the one who is clinically brain-dead." He muttered.

~0o0~

“Squack! Twilight, I challenge you to-AAARGH MY FACE! Whistle!”

Lady Babbage gently stroked Fluttershy as she cried into her tail. They all sat in Lady Babbage’s aviary, trying to decided what to do, Pinkie Pie trying not to giggle at her new friend the parrot. Thankfully, Fluttershy had gotten most of her crying done last night, and only had a few tears to spare for this new development.

“I am sorry to say, that I cannot stop this myself without causing a diplomatic incident.” Princess Celestia said. “And by Diplomatic Incident, I mean scaring the dragons into believing that ponies are monsters for another few centuries. I can and will do so for Fluttershy, but I’d like to wait see if we couldn’t exhaust other options first.”

“This is the most unromantic marriage ever!” Rarity cried. “I have half a mind to stop working on Fluttershy’s wedding dress!”

Fluttershy lifted her head. “Oh no, you don’t have to.” She dried her eyes. “None of you have to do anything. I knew this day might come. I wouldn’t want you to start a war, or not finish a dress, because of this.”

The ponies stared at her. “Are you crazy!?” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“Ain’t no way we’re gonna abandon our friend to a life o’ misery sugarcube.” Applejack said.

“Indeed.” Rarity said. “Even if your wedding dress will be so fabulous ponies with heart conditions can’t look directly at it, it would be the ugliest thing I ever designed if you wore it when you were sad.”

“We’ll figure out some way to help you.” Twilight said.

“Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a cupcake in my eye!” Pinkie Pie swore.

“Thank you all.” Fluttershy blushed, and tears welled up in her eyes. “You’re all… such good friends.”

“Squack! Give this message to Fluttershy! Whistle!”

All eyes turned to the parrot. “That was Stockholm’s voice.” Lady Babbage said. “Ferdinand, what do you have to say?”

The parrot spoke up again. “Squack! If you tell anydragon besides Fluttershy, no more parrot treats! Whistle.”

“It’s all right if you tell my friends.” Fluttershy said.

“Ever! Squack!”

Fluttershy pulled out a blanket, and put it over Ferdinand. “Alright, everyone’s gone now. Tell me what my dad told you.”

The parrot paused for a while, deciding whether or not to trust Fluttershy with his parrot treats for the rest of his life. The answer was obvious. “Squack! I’m not dead! Tell her I’m not dead! Squack!”

Fluttershy gasped with delight, and her mother hugged her with her tail. Tears formed in both of their eyes, but they were tears of joy this time. “Where is he?”

“Follow Ferdinand!” The parrot squacked. “I’m hiding, follow Ferdinand! Whistle!”

“But how would dad have gotten away?” Vulcas asked. “The Knights In Smaug’s Service witness every challenge put to Smaug. They’d have to have found dad’s body… right?”

“Dad’s really smart!” Fluttershy cried. “He must have found a way!”

“Your choice is clear Fluttershy.” Princess Celestia said. “Do you want to look for your father? Or would you prefer that I start another… war…” She looked around, confused, as Fluttershy seemed to have disappeared.

She rushed back into the room seconds later with her saddlebags. “Um… I’m packed… are you girls coming?”

“Of course we are!” Rainbow Dash yelled, and with a rainbow colored blur, her own saddlebags were on.

“We need a plan to get past the knights.” Twilight said.

“Um… I think I have one.” Spike raised his hand.

“Awesome!” Rainbow Dash cheered.

“Spike, you’re going to stay here with Celestia.”

“What?” Spike frowned. “But I want to go with you!”

“Yeah, Spike can come if he wants.” Rainbow Dash agreed.

Twilight shook her head. “Spike’s only a baby, he can’t come.”

Rainbow Dash shot her an incredulous look. “He’s a foal that can take baths in lava! He’s coming!”

“Don’t you care about seeing him getting hurt?” Twilight stomped a hoof on the ground.

“He’ll be hurt if you tell him what to do all the time!” Dash snorted.

“I’m providing a structured life, full of physical, mental, and social improvement.” Twilight argued, magically conjuring a graph and a check list. “Which includes not leading him into dangerous situations.”

Dash rolled her eyes. “That’s boring. He has my awesome blood in his veins, he’ll thrive in dangerous situations!”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to look incredulous. “He gets tummy aches from eating too much ice cream!”

Dash shrugged. “I get hurt from boring stuff too. But let him get kidnapped by buffalo, and suddenly he turns into a crazy heroic dimplomathingy!”

Twilight growled, and pressed her forehead against Rainbow Dash’s. “Diplomat, and that was just once!”

“Because you never let him do anything else awesome!” Rainbow dash glared into Twilight’s eyes.

“I let him be the narrator for the Haerth’s Warming Eve festival!”

“And it was awesome! Now let him come with us on an adventure into the Darklands so he can be more awesome!”

“Spike isn’t you Rainbow Dash!”

That made Rainbow Dash pause, and for a moment a horrified look crossed her face. Then she made her face smile again. “I know he’s not. He’s better.”

Spike frowned. “You know… I can do magic. I can follow you with a teleportation spell whether you want me to come or not.”

“See?” Rainbow Dash grinned. “That’s my boy!”

Spike sighed. Having Rainbow Dash as a ‘daddy’ was still a little awkward. But he had to admit, as he watched Twilight’s faced roll form confusion, to begrudging acceptance, that it had its perks.

"I'm coming too." Vulcas said.

"No." Princess Celestia said. "I do not want to play my hand until the last possible moment, and if you go with them, it will be less believable that they ran off on their own disobeying my orders, and more feasible that we a starting a minor rebellion. Besides, the six of them work best when they don't have any distractions."

"We're starting a rebellion!?" Pinkie Pie clapped her hoofs. "We should totally have a rebl party when we get back! I mean, Dashies' a full time rebel, so it's old news for her, but there's being a rebel, and there's being in a rebellion. Hey, I heard rebels get to eat lots of cake right? During the old French revolution, you told the rebels 'Let them eat cake'! And then you made cake fall out of the sky for them! Can you do that again?"

"I'm not particularly overconfident." Vulcas growled.

~0o0~

Spike’s plan was simple. Lady Babbage’s family was under an impromptu house arrest. So, Fluttershy would trick Tarzan into taking her on the ‘walk’ he mentioned, followed out of the cave by her friends hidden underneath a replica of Rarity’s dragon disguise, pretending to be Crackle. When they got far enough away, they would knock him out and follow the parrot.

This was the plan in theory.

In practice, the plan went something like this:

“Ow! Stupid parrot, why did you have to blow our cover!?”

“Squack! We’ll sneak up behind him, knock him out, and make our escape! Whistle!”

“They’re still following us!”

“The camouflage isn’t working? Why isn’t the camouflage working?”

“Because it’s on fire Twilight!”

“AAAARGH!!!”

“Hey look! One of them’s making funny faces at us!”

FWOOOOOSH!!!

“Oh, he wants a breath mint!”

“I hate the smell of dragon fire in the evening!”

“Well, let’s look on the bright side.”

“Rarity, what bright side could there possibly be!?”

“Well, the camouflage clashed with my mane. Now we don’t have to wear it anymore!”

“If these dragons catch us, you won’t have any hair left for it ta clash with!”

“Gasp!”

Crash! Clash! Whapow! Clang!

“Look out, that Pony has my Halberd!”

Slice! Dice! Cross Stitch! French Haute Couture!

“That Onomatopoeia shouldn’t even exist!”

Bludgeon! Thump! Parry! Crash-crash-crash-crash-crash-crash-crash!!!

“Pant, pant, pant…”

…

...

“What? They were going to ruin my mane.”

“… Rarity, where did you learn to fight like that?”

“That was super-duper Rarity! You were all like… Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!”

“Well, a lady must know how to protect herself from dangerous ruffians, yes?”

“Squack! Remind me never to disagree with you! Whistle!”

“Where’s Fluttershy?”

“I’m here! Sorry, but you took off really fast, and it was really hard to knock out Tarzan.”

“How hard was it?”

“I told him to close his eyes and pucker up, and I hit him right on the jaw, and he thought I was kissing him.”

“Oh.”

“And then I hit him some more times, and he thought we were frenching.”

“Oh dear.”

“I had to hit him on a pressure point on the back of his neck. Repeatedly. Thanks for hiding a sledgehammer in my mane Applejack, that came in handy.”

“Better safe ‘an sorry I always say.”

“Ungh… Fluttershy…”

“Ohmigoodnesshefollowedme!”

“How in the hay is he still conscious!?”

“Sugarcube, gimme that there sledgehammer and show me where to hit him.”

~0o0~

“Here.” Twilight said, after leading them to an open plain. “The parrot’s leading us here.”

There was nothing but rocks, as far as the eye can see.

“Well, this is boring.” Rainbow Dash said.

“These are the shadow plains.” Fluttershy whispered, with a voice full of deathly fright. “No dragon ever goes here, because of the monsters living in the shadows.”

“Living in the –” Twilight Sparkle made her way over to where Ferdinand was hovering. She examined the shadows for a moment, then held her hoof out to press against a rock. He hoof met with air. “Aha!” Twilight exclaimed. “An optical illusion! Some of these shadows or actually the entrances to caves!”

Ferdinand squacked, and flew into the darkness. “Come on then!” Rainbow Dash led the charge, and five of the ponies made their way into the dark, narrow cave. But Fluttershy stayed behind with Rarity. Rarity had noticed something off to the side of the cave began examining it closely. Fluttershy shivered. “I… I’m scared.”

Rarity smiled at what she saw beside the cave, before turning with a frown to Fluttershy. “What are you scared of?”

“Monsters.” Fluttershy said simply. “There are monsters in the shadows.”

Rarity smiled warmly. “Darling, you don’t need to worry about any monsters harming you while I’m around.”

Fluttershy let Rarity wrap her comforting hooves around her in a hug. “How can you be so brave?” Fluttershy asked.

“Simple darling.” Rarity said. She leaned in towards Fluttershy, and whispered dramatically into her ear. “I am a monster too.”

And with an ‘eep’, Fluttershy was whisked into the shadows.

Pony Joe's

The ponies followed Twilight and Rarity’s light spells through the darkness. The long winding tunnel eventually began to be more formed, the walls sharpening, staircases forming. Ferdinand got ahead of them once or twice, but Fluttershy always managed to call him back. They went down into the darkness so far, that the gravity began to shift as they approached the other end of the world, and they began to walk up staircases instead of down them.

Rainbow Dash walked next to Spike. At one point, Spike stumbled.

“You okay?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Yeah.” He grumbled. “Just a little tired.”

Rainbow Dash frowned, worriedly. “Do you want to ride on my back?”

Spike thought a bit, and nodded. He climbed onto her. “Thanks.”

“No prob.” Rainbow Dash kept walking for a while after that, as if trying to figure out what to say. She turned to the foal draped across her back. “Hey, Spike?”

“Mmmhmm?”

“You didn’t, like, just want to come because I’m you dad right? I mean… you know that you don’t have to be me?”

“I couldn’t be you if I tried.”

“Okay. Good.” Rainbow Dash beamed, and kept trotting forward.

They didn’t know how long they’d been walking for. There was no sun, no moon, no clocks. Just an empty tunnel, and an occasional squack from Ferdinand.

In the lead, Rarity turned to Twilight. “Twilight dear… may I be frank?”

“Yes Rarity?”

“I… have something to say. But I want you to Pinkie Pie swear that you won’t… well, freak out.”

Twilight was confused, but she complied. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Rarity smiled, but the thought of what she had to say turned her face back into a mask. “I… know what we’re going to find at the end of the tunnel, Twilight.”

“You do?”

“Yes.” She bowed her head. “At the end of this tunnel, you will find my parents, and a collection of their friends.”

Twilight looked confused, then shocked, then she looked like she was about to ask something, but Rairty put a hoof to her lips. “You Pinkie Pie promised not to freak out.” She said, pleadingly.

Twilight nodded. “Okay… not freaking out but… what? Why? How?”

“The ‘what’ is simple.” Rarity sighed. “According to Fluttershy, ‘monsters’ live in these caves, and we already know dragons considered ponies monsters. The why and the how… are less easy to explain. But…”

“Ahoy down there!”

They looked up. Somepony in a trottingham accent had called down to them from the top of the stairs. Somepony holding a lantern.

Twilight started to go up, but Rarity put a hoof to her shoulder. “I promise you Twilight, I left this life behind me. I would have told you about this, if I had ever thought we’d be going back in.”

“I say, ahoy there!”

“Who’s that?” Pinkie Pie asked. The others were close enough behind them now to hear the pony calling.

“It’s the watchpony.” Rarity said. She called back to him. “Ahoy Pipsqueak! It’s me, Rarity!”

“Ms. Rarity!? That’s great! Um… Is… is Sweetie Belle with you?”

“Not this time darling.”

“Oh. Well, don’t just stand there in the cold ‘n dank, come on up!”

“Rarity, what’s goin’ on?”Applejack asked.

“Well you see…” Rarity tried to explain. “My parents are sort of… tourists… who don’t have to pay to go where they want.”

“What’chya talking about?” Applejack asked.

“What I mean to say is, they are adventurers, of duplicitous nature and skill.”

“Rarity?” Twilight asked. “Can you tell it to us straight?”

“Oh my.” Rarity blushed. “What I mean to say is, my family is filled with experienced sailors who have no difficulty crossing blades if the occasion calls for it.”

“Speak English!” Rainbow Dash yelled.

“I’m so dreadfully sorry.” Rarity apologized. “What I mean to say is… oh please, please don’t tell Celestia anything about this, but…”

They reached the top of the stairs. In the dim candle light, they could see they were in some sort of cavern. It was filled with torches, and half of the cavern was filled with some sort of underground lake. Ships were anchored in the lake, a portcullis built into one of the walls seemed to be their method of entrance. There was another ship, wrecked on dry land, but with a door carved into its side. The lights were on inside of the ship, and cheering could be heard from inside. Each and every one of those ships flew a black flag, with a pony’s skull and crossbones on them.

“Your family is pirates!” Pinkie Pie squealed.

Rainbow Dash took Rarity’s face in her hooves. “I…. have greatly misjudged your radicalness. Can you ever forgive me?”

“O-of course.” Rarity stammered.

Twilight facehoofed. “Rarity… I’m trying not to ‘freak out’ about your family being criminals but… please just tell me that you aren’t some sort of pirate princess.”

Rarity gasped. “Of course not! Pirates are anarchists, they don’t have princesses!”

“Sweetie Belle looks like a princess.” Pipsqueak offered from the side.

“Thank you Pip.” Rarity smiled.

“That is so not comforting.” Twilight gritted her teeth.

“Squack! Captain! Captain! Whistle!” Ferdinand flew off of Fluttershy’s shoulder, and into the shipwreck.

“That’s the secret underground level of Pony Joe’s.” Rarity said. “It’s a popular pirate haunt, where ponies can anchor their ships and have a donut and a drink without worrying about other pirates fighting them.”

“And it looks like we’re going in.” Twilight said. The others nodded in agreement. “But only because we’re on a mission for Fluttershy. Don’t think we’ve avoided talking about this Rarity.”

Rarity put on a shocked look. “Forgive me Twilight, but I hardly see the problem.”

“Your family is full of criminals!”

“It’s family. What can you do?” Rarity shrugged.

“Ms. Rarity… are you sure she should be let in?” Pip asked, eyeing Twilight suspiciously.

“Oh, she won’t be a problem.” Rarity smiled. “I’m sure a brave young gentlecolt like yourself wouldn’t find it amiss to let her through on my recommendation?”

Pip beamed and nodded. “Yep!”

“Wait!” Pinkie Pie jumped up.

“What is it Pinkie?” Rarity asked.

Pinkie Pie reached underneath, and pulled out a pile of eye patches. “I’ve been saving these eye patches everywhere for an eye patch emergency! We’re about to go into a pirate emporium! If ever there was an eye patch emergency, this is it!”

“Hmmm… yes, perhaps you’re right Pinkie.” Rarity picked up her own eye patch and began to embroider it.

Twilight looked ready to explode. “Pinkie, you knew about this place!?”

“Nope!” Pinkie beamed.

“Then how could you have hidden these eye patches down here before we got here!?”

Pinkie Pie winked – or perhaps, since she was already wearing an eye patch she had merely blinked – and trotted happily to Pony Joe’s.

“She’s Pinkie Pie sugarcube.” Applejack patted Twilight comfortingly on the shoulder. “You’d be better off trying to understand Discord.”

Twilight sighed, and trotted with the rested of them. The sound of cheering and merry making was prominent inside, and despite what should have been an ominous atmosphere, the ponies couldn’t help but feel like no harm could come to them as they opened the doors.

“’Tavy!?” Rarity squealed in delight. “Oh, ‘Tavy it’s been too long!”

In front of them was a grey earth pony, wearing what was without a doubt a Rarity original, albeit an unconventional pirate themed one. She walked on her hind legs, and wore a blood red coat that reached the floor with, along with a scarlet wide brimmed feathered hat and, somehow most prominently, a gem studded bow tie. Her cutie mark was a clef, and her mane was tied up in a prim and proper fashion.

“Rarity!” Octavia laughed. “I can’t believe you’re here! It’s been far too long.”

“Oh, I agree Tavy.”

Octavia leaped onto a table, and somepony passed her a cello. “Hey everypony! Rarity’s back! Let’s all celebrate!”
She began to fiddle a fast-paced tune on her cello, a tune that most of the pirates seemed to recognize and sing along with. Although, the singing seemed to mostly consist of the pirates yelling ‘Argh’!

Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh argh argh!”

“Say what you will about pirates, but they can carry a tune.” Rarity chuckled and began to dance.

The pirates began to dance, unleashing a horde of perched parrots from their shoulders into the rafters. Twilight groaned. Somewhere up there was Ferdinand. Nopony else seemed to notice though, as Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash began to dance as well.

Octavia began to sing:

“Grab your Cider, hold it high!
Hit your shipmate in the eye!
Yank their mane and punch their nose!
Watch your step, it’s Pony Joe’s!”

Fluttershy whimpered in fear as the pirates began to act on these barbaric lyrics. As Rainbow Dash danced along, Spike fell off of her back, and Twilight scrambled to catch him, before one of the dancing pirates stomped a hoof to the floor, turning an old plank into a lever and catapault and launching the sleeping foal into the sky.

“Grab your Cider, hold it high!
Hit your shipmate in the eye!
Yank their mane and punch their nose!
Watch your step, it’s Pony Joe’s!

Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh argh argh!”

Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had joined a can-can line. Spike had landed on the chandelier made from a steering wheel, and was spinning around like he was on a top. Twilight called for Applejack, the only mare she could count on to remain sane in this situation, to help her save Spike. But Applejack had realized that the Flim Flam brothers were tending to the bar, and decided to engage in this excellent opportunity to beat them senseless according to the lyrics Octavia sung:

“Swing your shipmate, prominade!
Whack her with a rusty blade!
Spin around and Dosey Doe!
Watch your step it’s Pony Joes!”

The Flim Flam brothers were flung back into a pair of apple cider kegs, spilling the precious liquid into the waiting cups of the pirates, who somehow found a way to synchronize their dancing with their drinking. Spike fell off the chandelier, landing on the side of a table, which launched the various daggers, swords, knifes, forks, darts, and pointy things across the room. Twilight and Fluttershy almost had heart attacks as the pointy things missed them by inches, and buried themselves in a pair of pony shaped outlines in the dartboards behind them.

“Swing your shipmate, prominade!
Whack her with a rusty blade!
Spin around and Dosey Doe!
Watch your step it’s Pony Joes!

Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh argh argh!”

A grizzled looking pony who had four peg legs got up onto the table next to Octavia and began to tap dance as the crowd sang. If Twilight had to describe the scene, she would have called it: Bar fighting! The Musical!

Pirates do as Pirates please!
We’re terrors of the Equestrian Seas!
And when we’ve pillages all our foes!
There ain’t no place like Pony Joe-oe-oe-Oes!

Take a swig of applejack!
Pat your shipmate on the back!
Then trip them up onto their nose!
(Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie actually managed to trip each other up on this line.) Oh!
There ain’t no place like Poooonyyyy
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,/
JJJOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,/
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/
Argh argh, Argh argh argh argh,/
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO/
Argh Aaaaaaargh!/
OOOOOEEEESS!/

Spike woke up. “Man… what did I miss?”

A Pirate's Life

The steady drumbeats of an execution played through Canterlot. Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and the aristocracy sat at the lowest of the Canterlot Palace’s balconies. Most of them were fanning themselves, though from heat or from awkwardness none could say, as four unicorns trotted a Pegasus up to the execution stand.

“Is this really necessary Luna?” Princess Celestia asked. “I mean… a public execution! And for somepony who might be the Doctor…”

“He was only a doctor last time Celestia.” Princess Luna said. “You know he changes with every regeneration. Even if this is him, he’s certainly not a doctor this time around, and I don’t believe it’s him anyway.”

“He’s a doctor in every regeneration.” Celestia said. “He helps fix Equestria.”

“And you think Equestria needs a pirate?” Luna scoffed. The unicorns rested the Pegasus on the stand. She was brown, with a stylish golden mane. Her cutie mark was an hourglass, with two bones crossed behind it. This was the same emblem she’d affixed to her ship’s flag. This was Gold Dodger, Equestria’s first pirate.

The mare smiled up at the princesses with shining pink eyes.

Luna stood on the balcony. “Gold Dodger!” She exclaimed, in the Royal Canterlot voice. “You have dodged your last! You will no longer terrorize the citizens of Equestria!”

“That’s for sure!” Dodger laughed. Luna was momentarily ruffled, as a few citizens chuckled with her.

But she continued. “Yet even now, I will be merciful! Reveal the locations of your treasures! Reveal where you have hoarded the wealth from these good ponies! Reveal where you have hidden the Seventh Element of Harmony!”

Gold Dodger tilted her head. “I stole it fair and square. It’s my treasure now.” Gold Dodger laughed. “I don’t think anypony should give up the safety of the thing they treasure most just because they’re asked, do you? Besides, Tom’s hardly important.”

“You named it… Tom?” Luna’s teeth grinding could be heard across the courtyard.

“You know what is important?” Gold Dodger continued, staring intently into Princess Celestia’s eyes. “I found a flower. A beautiful red rose, that didn’t have any thorns. I found it in the Everfree forest. I don’t know how, or why, a beautiful rose could grow in a place that dangerous without needing thorns to protect itself. Some might think it’s unimportant. But you know… every little thing is important on its own level. And I think that rose I left on your bedside table, is greater than the whole of the treasure I gathered, if you look at it the right way.”

Princess Celestia gasped sharply. “It is him. Only he would do something so impossible.”

Luna almost shrieked. “The prisoner has refused mercy! Execute her!”

Gold dodger seemed completely nonchalant about her impending death as the unicorns attending her lit up their horns. Then, at the last possible second before they fired, she smiled the widest smile in history and yelled to the heavens.

“You want my treasure!? You can have it! I left every single bit in one place! Now all you have to do is find it!”

The unicorns didn’t stop their spells in time.

Gold Dodger fell dead on the execution platform, before dissolving into golden mist.

The crowd that had gathered waited silently, as if expecting her to come back to life just to mock Princess Luna once more.

And then somepony cheered.

It started with one, then another, but soon the entire courtyard was filled with ponies cheering, and clapping, and jumping for joy. Each and every one of them found themselves filled with a sense of adventure!

Celestia stood. “Sister… your eyes…”

“’Tis nothing.” Princess Luna turned away, hiding her eyes from her sister.

~0o0~

“And that’s the story of Gold Dodger.”

“Wow.” Rarity said, from her position underneath the blankets. Her mother had just finished telling her a bed-time story, and was tucking her in with her stuffed sea-pony. They were on the majestic Golden Thunder, and the rolling of the waves helped Rarity doze off.

“And that’s why pirates fly the Jolly Dodger on our masts.” She explained. “In fact, some say her final words are why Equestrians use Bits for money. Her final words ushered in the Grand Pirate Era. Hundreds of thousands of ponies took to the seas, searching for the Great Treasure. And while none of them found it, they all found adventure.”

“And that’s why you and dad are pirates, right?” Rarity asked.

“That’s right.” Her mother smiled. “The Capital Penninsula is only a small portion of Equestria. And you, you lucky little ducky, are going to see all of it. And maybe even find the treasure too.”

With that, she kissed her daughter good night, and blew out the candles. She was halfway out the door, when she heard her daughter’s voice again. “Mommy?”

“Yes Rarity?”

“What about the ponies who can’t go on adventures and see everything?”

“That’s their loss sweety. The Grand Pirate Era was centuries ago. A lot of ponies don’t have the spirit of adventure in them any more.” She snuck out of the door.

Rarity sat in the darkness. She’d seen so much of Equestria already; their ship was currently parked in Talongrad Bay, the capitol of griffon countries. She couldn’t imagine a life without having seen the things she’d seen. The world was so beautiful.
How in Equestria did the other ponies cope?

~0o0~

“You!”

Rarity turned, and saw her old Earth Pony friend Applejack stride towards her. Rarity took no notice of her friend’s grim glare, instead rushing over to her with a giggle. “Applejack! You got your cutie mark! I did too!”

“That’s great.” Applejack deadpanned. “An’ I see you got yours.”

“Isn’t it marvelous!?” Rarity beamed as she showed off her flank. That was when she noticed applejack wasn’t at all enthusiastic about the most pivotal moment in any fillie’s life. “Applejack, is something wrong?”

Applejack glared at her. “Ya’ll could say that again.” She advanced on Rarity, who began to get a little nervous. “Ah thought you were my friend, but ya’ll tricked me.”

“What?” Rarity gasped. “The nerve of the accusation! I would never!”

“Yes you would!” Applejack yelled. “All of yer fancy fine talk about goin’ on adventures, and seein’ Equestria. You said Manehatten was a wonderful place. Well it wasn’t! I went there, and I was miserable the whole time, because of high-falutin’ ponies pretendin’ to be somepony they ain’t, and lookin’ down on everypony else fer being themselves!”

Applejack prodded Rarity in the chest. “Yer fancy talk almost done ruined mah life! An’ now I come home, an’ I find out you’re just like them! You was just waitin’ fer me to be gone so you could win everypony over to yer high-falutin’ ways with a bunch of fancy gemstones!”

Rarity scrambled for a response, and the words came tumbling out of her mouth. “Well excuse me if you’re too much of a stick in the mud to appreciate the finer things in life!”

“What finer things?” Applejack asked. “You mean those fancy asparagus platters that wouldn’t feed a rabbit even if it’d already been half stuffed?”

“That is fine cuisine!”

“Fine garbage more like!”

“You know you didn’t have to go!” Rarity yelled. “I thought you’d want to see more of the world then this little town!”

“Watch what you say Rarity, this ‘little town’ is my home!”

“Ha! Some home! You know, I heard Lyra talking, and according to her, you don’t even have parents!”

~0o0~

“I could’ve taken her.” Rarity mumbled.

She was back on the Golden Thunder. Her dad Fantastic, the ship’s doctor, was just undoing the sling she’d been wearing for the past week.

“I’m sure you could have sweety.” He said. “But all the same, it’s better not to antagonize earth ponies, alright?”

“I wasn’t anatogi… antanant… anthanizi… I wasn’t doing anything!”

“I know, you’ve told me often enough.” Her dad finished taking off the sling. “There, can you walk?”

Rarity gently tested her hoof. “Yeah.”

“Excellent.” He beamed.

“At least that’s over with.” Rarity agreed. But her father clamped a hoof over her mouth.

“SSSSHHHH!” He whispered in mock panic. “Do you want to anger the Irony monsters?”

Rarity giggled. “There’s no such thing as Irony monsters dad.”

He grinned. “Don’t say things like that, you may meet them!”

The pair of them shared in a private laugh. “Well, come on then. Since you can walk, you can party! Your mother’s making something extra special for your cute-ciniera.”

Rarity smiled, hesitantly. She greatly preferred the food the ship’s cook made to the food her mother prepared, to say the least. She could almost believe the Irony monsters were listening in on their conversation. With any luck, Ram-sea would slip something into whatever concoction Marshmallow had come up with for her.

Suddenly, she heard the clanging of the alarm bell on deck. “That’ll be the Navy I’d wager.” Fantastic said, picking up his daughter and putting her back on the bed. “You stay here. Remember the plan if we’re overrun?”

Rarity nodded. “I’m not a pirate, I was kidnapped by the Captain. Just don’t get overrun, okay?”

“That’s a promise!” Her dad laughed. “It wouldn’t do to get arrested before my daughter’s Cute-ciniera!”

He locked the door shut behind him. Rarity sat on the bed, hooves dangling off the sides. Celestia’s Navy had been more troublesome for pirates in the past. But they were still boring to Rarity. She had to wait through the whole fight, hoping that her parents would –

A dark shadow fell over the window.

With a crash, a grey Pegasus with a blood red mane flew through the window. His cutie mark was a map with an X on it. “Found you.” He grinned.

Rarity screamed, and ran for the door but it was locked. The Pegasus picked her up and flung her over his shoulder, carrying her out the window. “Captain Saccharin!” He yelled, as he picked up speed. “I’ve got ‘er!”

A black earth pony with a bleached white mane looked at the pair of them. He was obviously the Captain, with his scarlet coat and feathered hat. “So you do Mr. Seek! Step lively men! We’re making a run for it!”

Seek dropped Rarity on the deck of Captain Saccharin’s ship, the Sea Drake. Rarity knew the stories of this ship and its captain. She’d heard that he once took on an entire flight of Griffons on his own, and that his crew took down a dragon.

The crew of the Golden Thunder cheered as the Sea Drake turned and sailed away. “Mom!” Rarity screamed. “DAD! HELP ME!!!”

“Throw her in the brig Mr. Shortround!” The Captain called, and a small earth pony obliged. The crew of the Golden Thunder seemed to realize it’s mistake and started to chase after them, but the Sea Drake was already at full speed. They didn’t have a chance.

Somebody put a clothe over Rarity’s mouth.

~0o0~

The first thing that Rarity registered was pain in her mouth. There was a gap in her teeth so big, she whistled just by breathing.

At first she thought her dad would fix it. But then she remembered the last time she saw dad.

Rarity woke up in a dark prison cell. She wasn’t in a boat anymore; the prison’s walls were made of stone. Outside, lightning flashed and rain poured down. It looked like it was in the middle of a hurricane. Nopony would be sailing to her rescue.

“Hello.” She leaped up at the noise.

Captain Saccharin was smiling at her through the bars.

Rarity gulped. “My parents don’t have much bits for a ransom…”

“I don’t want a ransom.” Saccharin scowled. He kicked the stool he was sitting on out from underneath him, causing Rarity to start again. “I want you.”

“W-why do you want me?” Rarity asked.

Captain Saccharin smiled. “Do you know the tale of Gold Dodger’s treasure?”

Rarity nodded apprehensively.

“For centuries, that treasure has yet to be found. But that’s all about to change. Do you know why?” Rarity shook her head, and Saccharin smiled. “Because now we have a unicorn, whose special talent is finding precious gems.”

Rarity gasped. “I can’t find Gold Dodger’s treasure!”

“Not yet.” Saccharin admitted. “But in a few year’s time, who knows? I heard from my contacts in the Capitol Penninsula, that your magic dragged you halfway to the Horseshoe Mountains for a smile pile of gems.”

“But… that’s not my special talent…”

“You need to get much, much better at lying before you think you can pull a fast one on me.” Captain Saccharin laughed. “Now, in the meantime, you’re going to be helping Shortround dig up the gems around this mountain. You know, as practice.” He slid a bowl of hay through the bars. “Get some rest. You start as soon as this rain stops.”

As Saccharin made his way back out of the jail corridor, Rarity had a flash of inspiration. “You can’t keep me in here.” She whispered haughtily. Turning to face the wall with the window on it, she lowered her horn and prepared to charge. “My magic does more than just find diamonds.”

She charged at the wall. “Super Rainbow Drill Shatter Attack!” She cried, charging the wall with the same vigor she had when she broke her first rock with all the diamonds inside it.

The world went dark again.

She woke up dizzily. “Ugh… what happened…” She shakily got to her feet, somehow realizing that she was hanging by her head.

Looking up, she realized that her horn was stuck in the stone wall.

“Dumb rocks!”

~0o0~

Rarity had only been in Saccharin’s island stronghold for a day, but already Rarity was missing her parents. She sighed dramatically, and leaned against the bars of her cell. A flash of lightning illuminated her cell, and suddenly, a pair of eyes were staring at her from the other side of the bars.

“Gyaaaaaah!” Rarity screamed and fell back on her flank.

The filly staring at her was gray, with a black mane tied in a nice bow. “Hello.” She said to Rarity. “I’m Octavia.”

Rarity smiled nervously. “I’m Rarity.”

“It’s nice to meet you Rarity. There aren’t any other fillies on my dad’s island.”

Rarity gasped. “Your dad’s Saccharin!?”

Octavia shrugged. “Yes.”

Put that matter-of-factly, Rarity found she could not protest this point.

The two fillies stared at each other in awkward silence, as the storm raged outside the fortress. Rairty bit her lip, and decided that she should say something. Anything to break this silence.

“So… do you like dresses?”

“No.” Octavia shook her head. “I like bow ties though.” She indicated to the accessory around her neck.

“That is such a beautiful bow tie!” Rarity leaned close to the bars. “I could almost imagine making something like that, and you wear it so well!”

“Thank you.” Octavia smiled.

Rarity liked it when Octavia smiled. The alternative was Octavia’s blank staring expression, but it was still a beautifully demure smile. “So, what do you like Ocati… Tavy… Akt… do you mind if I just call you ‘Tavy?”

This, apparently, was the wrong thing to say. Octavia shuffled around a bit, blushing, before she apparently summoned the courage to answer. “I like music.”

Rarity beamed. “That’s wonderful! I love music too! Oh, have you heard the Frozen Symphony? Ram music is so magical.”

“Oh I know.” Octavia started smiling again. “Have you heard any good Minotaur music?”

“No.” Rarity sighed dramatically. “Alas, my travels have yet to come across Minotaur lands.”

“That’s my favorite. I can play almost anything… my dad loves it when I play the old sinister family organ, but my favorite is the Bass Cello.”

“My goodness, I’m surprised you don’t have your cutie mark.”

The comment was innocent, but Octavia blushed immediately. Rarity gasped. “Oh, I’m sorry, did I say something wrong?”

“It’s not you, it’s just…” Octavia sighed, and suddenly instead of pawing the ground nervously she was like the calm of a storm. “I don’t have my Cutie Mark. I don’t know why… music is the thing I love most in life… I’ve played every single instrument I can think of to try and get my Cutie Mark in music.”

And just like that, they were friends. Rarity didn’t know how it happened, she knew she should be trying to get the filly to help her escape instead of trying to help her get her cutie mark. But friends would help and Rarity was helping… so she must be a friend.

“Do you think it might me more about your attitude then it is about your talent?” Rarity asked.

Octavia stared at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well you see, my cutie mark is three gemstones. Your father mistook that to mean I have a talent for finding gems. And while finding gems is part of my talent, it’s not the whole thing.”

Octavia sat down, and listened with interest.

“The world is such a beautiful place, I know. But most other ponies don’t realize that. Especially in the Capital Penninsula. Canterlot, Manehatten… Ponyville… all the ponies there don’t know about going out and seeing the world.” Rarity smiled. “I wanted the gems, yes. But I didn’t want them just so I could be rich. I wanted them to sew onto the costumes for my school’s class play. I wanted to enrich others, because it’s just so sad that none of my classmates will ever see a Yeti village, or hear the Griffons sing of moonlight.”

She turned dramatically, a hoof held high to the window, where lightning illuminated her. “My special talent is finding the gem in everything! Everything, to somepony’s eyes, could be as dull as a rock, but within every rough there is a diamond! My special talent is finding that beauty, and then sharing it with the world, displaying it so everypony can see! Your special talent is music you say? Perhaps it is not the instrument you lack, but the attitude! Perhaps you have yet to realize your skill is not simply playing music, but sharing music, or creating music, or even –”

Rarity turned around, and Octavia was gone.

Rarity was stunned. She went to her cell’s door. “‘Tavy?” the storm’s thunder echoed through the empty hallway. “‘Tavy, where did you go?”

“Right here.” Rarity gasped, and spun around, where Octavia was inside the cell with her, holding a bass cello.

“How… how did you get in here? With that giant instrument? The door was locked, and the walls are all solid stone… aren’t they?”

Octavia shrugged. “It’s a pirate vanish. My mom taught me how to do it. She said we needed a defence against our enemies the ninja.”

Rarity’s eyes were wide. “Can you teach me how to do that?”

“Sure.” Octavia smiled. “But first… do you want to hear some Minotaur sonnets?”

~0o0~

Octavia leaned Rarity against the wall. “Bruce Lee, the griffon who invented martial arts, realized you can fight better if you stand on your hindlegs.” Octavia explained. “It’s not healthy for the back though, unless you’re leaning on something or you’re in constant motion.”

“Ponies fight like this?” Rarity asked, balancing herself against the wall.

“Let go.” Octavia said.

Rarity pushed away from the wall. “Hey, I’m doing it! Look at me ‘Tavy, I’m dowwaaaaaaaagh!” Rarity swung her forehoofs around, trying to get some form of balance, before falling on her back.

~0o0~

The stalagmite hung from the cell’s ceiling. A steady trickle of water from the storm outside dripped into a puddle in the corner of the room.

“A true pirate, is fast.” Octavia explained. She shot a hoof out, and retracted it before the next drop of water landed on it. “Go ahead, try it.”

Rarity shot a hoof out, and water dripped on it. She groaned, and tried again, but she still got wet. “How many times do I have to keep –” She turned and Octavia was gone. “‘Tavy!”

~0o0~

Rarity eyed the horseshoes suspiciously. “These feel strange.”

“They’re magnetic horseshoes.” Octavia explained. “You’ve probably never worn them, but Earth ponies and Pegasus wear them all the time to help them hold onto things.”

“Why am I wearing these again?” Rarity asked.

“Because I don’t know how to teach you to swordfight the unicorn way.” Octavia began poking at Rarity with a stick.

“Ow! Ow!” Rarity stood up and swung her own stick, but fell over. “Maybe I’d do better if we weren’t only focusing on each thing for ten seconds.” Rarity said.

Octavia shook her head. “No. I saw a play once; The Count of Monte Cristo. The hero of the story learned everything in like, five minutes.”

Rarity blinked. “I’m not sure theatre is the best judge for reality.”

“Nonsense. Oh! I know what’s wrong!” Octavia took out a trumpet. “Training montages need music!”

~0o0~

After about a week, Octavia stopped training Rarity to fight, and started making sure she didn’t die after every day’s work in the sapphire fields. Not that Saccharin would let Rarity die, but he didn’t exactly feel the need to keep her in perfect shape or let one of his important pirates do work like lifting the cart of gems the little filly had to fill.

Nonetheless Octavia, now sporting a beautiful cutie mark, was Rarity’s new best friend whenever her dad wasn’t around to see.

After the first week ended, Rarity and Octavia sat in the middle of the cell, having a little tea party.

“More tea ‘Tavy?” Rarity asked.

“Yes, thank you Rarity.” Octavia poured herself some tea.

“How is your boyfriend, Sir Snuggly Wuggly?”

Octavia straightened the large stuffed rabbit that was sitting at the table with them. “He’s recovering. You know how war wounds are. I will never understand what possessed him to fight off that monster off.”

“As I recall, the monster was attacking you.”

“I could have handled myself.” Octavia sniffed. “Still, it was quite chivalrous.” She patted Sir Snuggly Wuggly on the head.

“My own Prince Tom is recovering from his own war wounds.” Tommy the stuffed Tiger slumped down into her tea. “He’s still as adorable as ever though.”

“Indeed.” Octavia smiled. “Sir Snuggly Wuggly heard Princess Celestia was thinking about awarding him a medal.”

“Oh, you know how the court gossips these days.” Rarity blushed. “It’s actually three medals.”

The two of them dissolved into a fit of giggles. Usually, Octavia was not one for showing emotions, which made the few times Rarity could get her to break out and laugh all the more charming for rarity.

After the giggling fit went away, rarity decided the time was ripe to ask her something. “‘Tavy?”

“Yes Rarity?”

“I was thinking of escaping this week.” Rarity said, as matter-of-factly as she could. “And… I was wondering if you would help?”

Octavia pondered this, putting her cup of tea back in her saucer. “No.” Octavia decided. “I’m sorry Rarity, but my dad’s the only family I have left, and he’s pretty cool, you know, on the other side of the bars.”

Rarity’s face fell. “Oh.” She felt like a foal for risking that. Now Octavia would tell her dad, and then he’d –

“But I won’t stop you either.” Octavia continued. “If you do escape, will you promise to write to me?”

Rarity was shocked! Not just by Octavia’s helpfulness, but by her request! “Oh, of course I’ll write to you darling!” Rarity smiled, taking her friend’s hooves in hers. “How in Equestria could I forget such a wonderful friend? That is, I’ll write whenever I’m able, you never know I might be kidnapped again, but I’ll certainly write to you as often as I can!”

Octavia smiled. “Thank you. I’m so glad you’re my friend.”

Rarity would have returned the compliment, but at that moment the door to the prison corridor opened loudly.

Rarity tumbled out of her chair, and looked through the bars. Captain Sacharrin was trotting towards her, just as he’d done every day. “Good morning Rarity. And how are you today?”

“Er…” Rarity knew that Saccharin wouldn’t take kindly to his daughter being in a cell. But looking behind her, Rarity saw she had no need to worry. Octavia had already ‘pirate vanished’, along with the table, the two chairs, their tea, and their stuffed animals.

Rarity stared at the spot where their tea party had been held mere moments before, before remembering who she was with and turning back to Captain Saccharin. “I’m tired and hungry.” She moaned, as dramatically as I could. “I wanna go hoooOOOOME!” She fainted backwards with a dramatic sigh, only to land on the stone floors.

“Yes, so you’ve said.” Saccharin frowned in front of the cell doors. “And as soon as you find me Gold Dodger’s treasure, you’ll have your freedom.”

“I can’t!” Rarity yelled. “I just can’t! Look, every time I try, I –”

She lit up her horn, and bit her bottom lip. Hoping this would work as well as it did yesterday, she searched for something, something big. She didn’t know if it would be Gold dodger’s treasure or not. But hopefully – hopefully – it would be some sort of royal treasure.

She found it.

With a false cry of alarm, Rarity felt herself get dragged towards the wall by her horn. “Hey, I found something!” She said.

Saccharin’s eyes gleamed. “You’ve found it!? You found Gold Dodger’s treasure!?”

Rarity grunted in mock pain. “I think so. It’s faint, but it’s big.”

Saccharin cheered. “Yes! Prepare to set sail!”

~0o0

Rarity only had to cast her spell once or twice as the pirate ship sailed. She had to admit, Captain Saccharin didn’t seem particularly cruel. She might have even believed that he planned on letting her go after she’d fulfilled his plan.

But she wouldn’t trust him.

“Excuse me!” She called out. Her jailer, Shortround, waddled to the door.

“I need to go to the bathroom.” She moaned.

He sighed. “Fine.” He opened the door to her cell and led her to the brig’s bathroom.

In the bathroom, Rarity got her hooves on some toilet paper. It was all she needed. She quickly unraveled it with her magic, and knotted it together to make a secure rope, which she levitated out of the window and onto the main deck.

It took some effort, but she managed to pull herself up onto the ship’s foredeck. There, she managed to slip behind a few barrels and make her was to the stern. There was an earth pony and a pegasus at the helm.

“All I’m saying is, with the lack in membership, the Wonderbolts are going to be looking for new recruits.” The Pegasus was saying.

“No way man.” The earth pony shook his head. “After what Thunder Crash did, they’re going to be doing background checks on any new recruits. You ain’t getting in there.”

Rarity walked up to the two of them. “’Scuse me?”

The two jumped and stared at the filly. “Where did you come from?” The Pegasus asked.

“We don’t like stowaways on this boat.” The Earth pony said.

“I’m not a stowaway.” Rarity beamed. “I’m a pirate! And I’m gonna commandeer your ship for a while.”

The stared at her. Then at each other. And then they burst into laughter. While they were doubled over, Rarity used her magic to levitate a rope, steering the ship’s wheel so it would be fixed in the direction she thought Ponyville would be in, and then tied the wheel in place. She doubted any of the pirates would know how to undo a triple cross-stitch knot.

“Kid, you shouldn’t joke like that.” The Pegasus said, getting up.

“You really shouldn’t.” The earth pony shook his head. “But man, that was funny little filly.”

“I’m sorry.” Rarity pouted. “I thought it was funny. Hey, do either of you know where the bathroom is?”

“Yeah, come on kid, we’ll take you.” The pirate walked her down to the brig. Rarity couldn’t believe her good fortune, that apparently she had found the two pirates on the ship who both didn’t recognize her, and probably weren’t smart enough to ruin her plans if they did.

Rarity noticed a stain on one of the pirate’s shirt. “Is that blood?” She asked.

The pirate frowned. “Eeyup. Don’t worry, it’s not pony blood. We had a run in with some griffons a while back. And I just cannot get this stain out.”

Rarity gulped at the thought of death, but nodded amiably. “You know, the trick to getting bloodstains out of any clothe, is to use banana leaves in the wash.”

“Is it really?” The pirate smiled appreciatively. “Well aren’t you smart. I should take you home to me wife, she’d love somepony who knew how to do proper washing.”

Rarity shot him her best fake smile as they led her down to the brig. Shortround started as they came around the corner. He looked from her to the loo and back. “Hey, how’d you get out?”

“The Pegasus got me out through the window.” Rarity explained, before either of them had a chance to speak. “The other one said he wanted my magic all to himself. He said something about mooti… mututu…”

“Mutiny?” Shortround asked darkly.

“That’s it!” Rarity beamed, with all the innocence fillies seem to be able to muster whenever they need it.

“What?” The earth pony gasped. “We… we would never…”

“You would.” Rarity nodded. “You said so! You said you wanted to take me home to your family.”

That gave the earth pony pause. “Uh… yeah, I did… but… uh…”

“Mutineers!” Shortround yelled, and he charged at the two pirates.

Rarity calmly sidestepped the scuffle, and ran out of the brig. The first pirate she came to, she tapped them on the leg. “’Scuse me mister.” She said. “But someponies are mutineering in the brig.”

“Mutineers!” The pirate gasped, and he ran off to the brig. “Which ponies!?” He called.

“A short round earth pony!” Rarity called after him. She strode around the corner and found another couple of pirates. “’Scuse me!” She called to the group. “A Pegasus and two Earth Ponies are mutineering in the brig!”

The crew of pirates raced down the hall behind her, and somepony clanged the alarm bell. Rarity, satisfied with her work, trotted off to sow some more chaos.

~0o0~

The brig was a fully fledged warzone. Nopony was safe. Some small groups formed here and there, as they’d came in together, but for the most part nopony knew who was mutineering against who. They just figured that somepony would tell them if they weren’t mutineers; they were just fighting to protect themselves.

Suddenly, a gunshot echoed in the brig. All fighting stopped as Captain Saccharin stood in the doorway. He strode into the midst of the ponies, heavy hoof steps echoing, glaring at anypony who would meet his eyes.

The sound of ponies swordfighting was loud in the silence. The Captain strode towards the offenders. Three of the newer crew members were fighting in a corner. “Ahem.” He coughed politely.

Two of them stopped, and grinned triumphantly. The third screamed at him: “Death to mutineers!” He charged the Captain, who stopped him with one buck.

“I’m the Captain.” Saccharin growled. “Why on earth would I mutineer against myself?” He turned to the rest of his crew. “And now that we’ve established that I am not a mutineer, can anypony tell me who is? Can anypony point out the traitor in our midst?”

That was when the door to the brig slammed shut.

“I am Rarity!” Came the high voice of a filly behind the door. “And this is my ship now! Argh!”

Captain Saccharin facehoofed. “Congratulations. You’ve all just been out-smarted by a six year old.”

~0o0~

Rarity giggled behind the door. “I hired a secret army with all the gems you made me dig! They’re on the ship right now! So there you big meanies!”

Suddenly, Rarity heard the clopping of several hooves above her head. Her eyes grew wide. Did I miss somepony? She thought, as she tried to remember what Octavia taught her about fighting.

Her fears were put to rest when Octavia trotted happily down the stairs, banging coconut shells against each other.

“You’re helping me?” Rarity whispered.

“Sure.” Octavia smiled. “I figure we can go on an adventure together, and I can show you around Minos.”

The girls shared a giggle, and then Octavia put on her bass voice. “Captain Rarity, we have the ship.” She said. Then she switched to falsetto. “Awaiting your orders.”

“Yes Ms. Minuette and Sir Jovial, set sail at once to –”

“You know, the brig has more than one door.” The two fillies turned around, and saw Captain Saccharin and Mr. Seek glowering at them.

“AAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!”

~0o0~

The S.S. Baluga was the pride of Celestia’s navy. Fifty cannons on either side, triple masted, and crewed by some of Celestia’s finest soldiers.

Captain Fancy-Pants was currently carrying the most precious cargo he’d ever had to carry. Two members of the royal family, and their luggage, on a diplomatic mission to the Yeti Nation. It had taken his strongest sailors to carry Prince Blueblood’s gold encrusted winter coats. They were incredibly gaudy in his opinion. Even though he was the Captain, Fancy-pants always wore a decidedly swashbuckling outfit, with an open-collared shirt and roomy sleeves.

So when Captain Fancy-Pants saw the pirates closing in on them fast, he snapped into action. “All ponies, report to battle stations!” He called. “Gunners, ready the cannons! Drop the main-sails and ready weapons! I need five ponies to go down to the quarters and keep the Prince and Princess safe! All unicorns, with me!”

The unicorns gathered together on the poopdeck with Fancy-pants. He stared at them. There were only three unicorns. “This is it?” He asked. “We’re on a royal contingent, why are there so few unicorns?”

A blue maned unicorn stepped up. “There was a threat to the capitol sir. More unicorns were drawn in to protect it, and simple diplomatic missions like this one got a scarce few to protect it.”

Fancy-pants gave the blue maned unicorn ‘The Look’. “What is your name private?”

“Shining Armor sir.” The private said eagerly.

“Shining Armor, do you think I don’t already know why there are so few unicorns on my ship?”

Shining Armor’s face fell. “You asked sir.”

“Learn how to read rhetorical questions greenie. All right everypony, There are too few of us for a full shield charm, so we’re going to have to make do with levitating charms, trying steer the ship away.”

“Oh, you don’t need to worry about that.” Shining Armor beamed, confidence restored. “I’ve got this!” His horn lit up, and a brilliant pink ball of energy leaped from his horn. It surrounded the enemy pirate’s ship, and formed a force field the shape of a bottle around it.

Fancy-pants stared at the force field with wide eyes. Then he turned to Shining Armor, wearing a grin. “Very impressive. Will it hold against cannon fire?”

“It ought to.” Shining Armor said, rubbing his head from the strain of the spell.

“Then we can be on our way without the pirates following us.” Fancy-pants laughed. “Well done Shining Armor! All hands! Full speed ahead!”

The crew cheered, and all seemed to return to normal… when suddenly, a cry came from the other ship.
“Hey! Wait! Help me!”

The few ponies who turned, saw two small fillies, a unicorn and an earth pony, waving down the ship. The deck, which had previously been empty burst full of pirates.

The first mate, familiar with his Captain’s antics, called out. “Captain no! It might be a…” She sighed, as she heard a splash in the water. “… trap.”

But it wasn’t just one splash. Shining Armor had the exact same idea as Fancy-pants, and the two of them swam towards the bottled pirate ship with a gusto.

“Don’t try and curry favor with me if you can’t keep up!” Fancy-pants yelled over the waves.

“I hate curry!” Shining Armor replied. “You just worry about keeping up with me!”

The two of them climbed up to the bottleneck of the force field and drew their swords. After a moment of surprise, when they both acknowledged that they wore magnetic horse shoes, they lunged onto the pirate ship.

Rarity and Octavia were surrounded by pirates on all sides. This was both a bad thing and a good thing, because by the time Fancy-pants and Shining Armor charged into their midst, only one pirate had the time to look up from their quarry and yell a warning.

Shining Armor swept a whole side of pirates away with a shield spell as Fancy-pants dueled four pirates at once. Then Shining Armor took his turn protecting Fancy-pants as the captain used a spell to tear down some of the rigging and cover the pirates in it.

Rarity almost swooned. Fancy-pants was so dashing, and he dressed so fabulously. The other unicorn was dashing too… although he was somewhat stiffer, and something told Rarity he was a bit more of a nerd when he wasn’t swashbuckling. Nontheless, it was only Octavia tapping her on the shoulder that broke her out of her swooning, and she scolded herself briefly for being interested in ponies who were so obviously (ew!) old.

The unicorns grabbed the two fillies with his telekinesis. “Don’t worry you two, we’ll save you!”

Rarity threw her arms around his neck. “My hero!” She gasped.

Octavia just sat on Fancy-pant’s back and waved goodbye to her dad, smiling like she was about to go on the funnest adventure ever. Begrudgingly, he tipped his hat to her.

Fancy-pants and Shining Armor quickly made their way to the opening in Shining Armor’s bottle shield. The other pirates took up a token resistance to stop them from leaving the ship, but they were too wary of hitting their captain’s daughter or their ticket to Gold Dodger’s treasure to put up a fight even half the level needed to beat the two stallions.

Except for Shortround.

Tired, angry, beat up, and humiliated, Shortround decided that no amount of treasure was worth this. He limped over to the nearest cannon, grabbing it, and pulling it around with all of his strength. With a manic grin, he lit the fuse.

Fancy-Pants, experience kicking in, suddenly realized that a cannon was pointed his way. Time seemed to slow down.

“Aaaaarmoooooor!” He called in slow motion. As the boom of a cannon sounded, he bucked Octavia off her back. The earth pony looked around in dull surprise as she soared through the air towards shining Armor.

The other unicorn turned around slowly, only to see a ball of flame erupt behind his captain. Wincing from the pain he cast a spell. He skidded to a stop just in time for Rarity to reach out and grab Octavia. The shield spell barely covered Fancy-pants in time, but he was blown forward by the blast.

“Oh no!” Rarity gasped.

Fancy-pants gritted his teeth, and pushed himself up on his forehooves. He reached out… and grabbed his sword in his teeth. “Go!” He called. “I’ll hold them off!”

“Not without you!” Shining Armor, two fillies on his back, raced towards Fancy-pants. He threw up another shield between them and the pirates, dangerously extending his magical limits, then he picked his Captain up by the teeth and raced towards the exit from the bottle.

Shortround lit the cannon again. “I have you now…”

“Foal!” Captain Saccharin bucked him in the jaw with all of his might. Shortround went flying, and the cannon swerved just before it fired. The cannonball ricocheted off of the barrier surrounding the ship, bouncing off it twice, before hitting the mast and flying off that, then heading straight towards Shining Armor, as he carried his captain and two young fillies.

“We’re gonna die!” Rarity screamed, and even Octavia’s eyes widened at the thought of being hit by a cannonball.
Just as the four of them dove out of the bottleneck though, a pair of navy pegasi intercepted them, pushing them away from the incoming cannon fire.

“I warned you this would happen Captain.” Fancy-pants’ first mate said to him, flying the four of them back to the ship. “Keep this up, and one day I’ll be saving your flank in front of royalty, I said. But you didn't listen.”

The rescue party landed on the deck of the royal vessel. The majority of the crew was busy enacting their escape, but a small welcoming committee was gathered on the poopdeck.

“Fancy-pants!” A unicorn with three fleur-de-lis on her flank flung herself at him. Rarity’s eyes widened as she realized who this was. This was Princess Unity, one of the direct descendants of Princess Platinum herself. “Are you all right!?”

“I’ll be fine darling.” Fancy-pants grimaced. “I may need a cane for a while though.” He shot a smile at Shining Armor. “It looks like you’ve earned yourself a promotion.”

Shining Armor gasped in shock. “I’m not trying to earn anything sir. I just have a sister about the same age these two, and I couldn’t not save them.”

“I know you weren’t trying to earn points.” Fancy-pants nodded. “That’s why you’re my new relief. Congratulations captain.”

“Ha!” A small bratty voice made itself heard over the crowd. “If you all would’ve let me, I would’ve taken on all of the pirates! And then captured the ship!”

A small blank-flanked unicorn pushed through the crowd, carrying a wooden sword. This was Prince Blueblood, Princess Unity’s younger brother. “I’d have fought the brigands off single handed.”

Rarity swooned. “I bet he would have too.” She whispered to Octavia.

Octavia raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“He’s a prince.” Rarity explained. “He’s got to come to save damsels in distress, unless he’s held back. Oh, I wish they would have let him save us. Wouldn’t that have been so romantic?”

Octavia looked from her friend, to the bratty half-pint with the wooden sword, then back to her friend. “You’re not seriously thinking he could have had a chance, right?”

“He’s a prince, he must have super powerful magic.” Rarity giggled. “Besides, you can’t stop true love.”

Octavia stared. “Is… that… what… this… is…?” She waved a hoof in Rarity and Blueblood’s general direction.

The first mate strode over to the pair of them. “Where are you two girls from?” She asked.

Rarity beamed. “I’m from Ponyville!”

“Canterlot.” Octavia gestured to herself.

“Well, I’m sorry girls, but this is a diplomatic voyage.” The first mate shrugged hopelessly. “We can’t just turn around to take you home right away. How about you tell us who your parents are, and we’ll write them letters telling them your safe. But in the meantime, you two are going to have to be the guests of the S.S. Baluga for six months while we go and negotiate with the yetis.”

Rarity and Octavia smiled at each other.

That was the beginning of their first adventure.

~0o0~

Rarity strutted demurely through the Grand Galloping Gala. She looked at her friends with pride. Little did Rainbow Dash know how much influence griffon culture had in her dress. She doubted Applejack noticed the Buffalo stitch work. Pinkie Pie seemed unaware that her dress was haute couture in Zebrican. Twilight’s dress was wonderfully minotaurik. And only Fluttershy seemed aware of the Elk influences in her dress.

They were more stunning than any pony in the gala.

Her own dress was stunning too. But she’d designed it with Unicorn dresses in mind. And, of course, with various secret compartments in it so she didn’t have to wear her fake eyelashes. The skeleton keys hidden therein were indispensable when one had the power to find hidden wealth, but they were quite uncomfortable.

And then she heard the slight Yeti melody interwoven into the Gala’s background refrain. She knew instantly which Canterlot socialite had managed to get herself hired to play for the Gala. Only one mare knew the tune which Rarity had fond memories of hearing as she fell asleep in front of the fires of a Yeti palace, after a day of snow filled fun with Prince Blueblood.

She trotted to the stage, where Octavia was playing.

“’Tavy, darling.” Rarity beamed at the earth pony. “You should have told me you were coming, I would have made you a dress.”

“Dresses are for attendees, I’m just in the band.” Octavia smiled. “I’m sorry to admit, I was a bit sour. Until you told me you’d be attending, we did have plans to rob the place.”

“It was an ingenius plan.” Sir Ivory muttered at the piano.

“I’m sorry to ruin your night.” Rarity apologized. “But oh, can you imagine? Seeing Prince Bluebood again, after all of this time…”

“Don’t let me keep you.” Octavia nodded. Rarity turned to look where she’d nodded, and saw Blueblood leaving to the rose maze.

Rarity squeed with delight. “Oh, thank you ‘Tavy! Oh, look out for my friend Pinkie Pie. I’ve long since given up on the notion that you can teach her to have a party without balloons. She’ll probably want you to play the pony polky or something.”

Octavia rolled her eyes. “Is that doubt I hear? Rarity, you know I can play through a hurricane.”

“Hmmm.” Rarity pursed her lips. “Sometimes, Pinkie can be worse than a hurricane.” She glance back at Blueblood. “Enjoy the evening ‘Tavy!” She waved goodbye, and rushed after her prince charming.

"Captain?" First mate Forte asked. "I thought we were robbing the place?"

"Oh, yes, but Rarity wouldn't approve." Octavia shrugged. "Give the order to Crescendo and her girls, but we're not going to steal anything from the Elements of Harmony or royalty. What they don't know won't hurt them."

~0o0~

Rarity took a gulp of air and released a sigh of relief. Just a few more times. She thought. I just have to do this a few more times. Then I’ll stop.

“Hello Rarity.”

Years of reflex training only just managed to stop Rarity from screaming, as she spun around on the spot. There was Octavia, with some of her crew, playing for the garden party.

“How in Celestia’s name did you manage to sneak up on me with a band!?” Rarity hissed.

Octavia rolled her eyes. “I’ve been here the whole time, you just weren’t very observant.”

Rarity had to take another few breaths. “Hello Forte, Viola, new kid. Where’s Sir Ivory?”

“Garden parties do not need pianos darling.” Octavia smiled. “Would you care to explain to me why you’re hashing my lessons on pirate vanishing?”

Rarity giggled uncomfortably. “Well… it might actually be my friend’s birthday… and also the garden party… and Fancy-pants…”

Octavia raised a delicate eyebrow. “Rarity, are you missing your friend’s birthday because of a crush on Fancy-pants?”

“Oh no!” Rarity shook her head adamantly. “Celestia no! I mean, I wouldn’t dream of it. How could I compare to Princess Unity?”

Octavia sighed. “Rarity, Princess Unity and Fancy-pants aren’t together like that. She has brittle bone disease, and he lets her lean on him. She’s more like his sister.”

Rairty gasped, but this time with delight. Pure happiness shone from her eyes.

“Besides, I heard he’s ‘playing for the other team’.”

Rarity’s face fell.

Octavia laughed like wind chimes. “Oh Rarity, you’re too easy to tease. Now, do try not to get caught. I’ll play some of ‘Art of the Dress’ later.”

“You’re not going to tell me that my friends are dangerous distractions from my business?” Rarity asked. “Or that it’s wrong of my to desert Twilight’s birthday for a brief glimpse of the high life?”

“We’re pirates darling.” Octavia rolled her eyes. “I just hope you don’t get caught. Watch out, I think they’re about to cut the cake.”

Rarity gasped, and rushed back to her friends. “You know that’s going to turn into a shipwreck.” The stallion on the harp said.

“Maybe so Forte.” Octavia admitted. “But even in a shipwreck, we play on.”

Shadows

Shadows

Lord Krastos stormed into Lady Babbage’s cave. The shadow of Smaug loomed behind him. The two Knights stood before them, saluting their leader.

Smaug glowered at them. “Knights, I was told that you were defeated by one pony. And not even Fluttershy’s leader, or the rainbow maned one, but the one who has the appearance of marshmallows. Will you tell me whether my messenger was lying, or whether two of my elite knights were defeated by a single pony?”

The knights glanced at each other. “It is true Smaug.” The halberded one said. “We assumed she would be easy to defeat, and she would have been until she managed to find a weapon.”

Smaug roared, and seized his knights by the throat. Lord Krastos grimaced, and looked to the side, hoping his king would have the common sense not to kill his most loyal followers. Smaug looked them both in the eye. “If you couldn’t even kill one pony, how are you supposed to slay the rainbow maned one when the time comes?”

The Knights stood firm. “We will not fail you again Smaug. We will be ready the next time.”

“I’m sure you will.” Krastos intervened before somedragon got hurt. “But for now, just keep up your job. 110%, am I right?”

The knights nodded earnestly, and Smaug dropped the with a scowl. The pair of them stalked into the cave.

“May I do the talking here Smaug?” Lord Krastos asked.

Smaug grunted his approval.

Lord Krastos smiled, and slithered into the kitchen of the cave beside him. Princess Celestia and Lady Babbage were sitting at the table, having a warm drink of diamond juice. Their eyes were red, probably done so they could pretend they’d been crying. Krastos stood to his full height, and smiled compassionately at the two of them. “So… it would seem your hatchlings are in danger.”

“Yes.” Lady Babbage somehow managed to glare at him while pretending to sniffle. “We’re terribly upset.”

“Do you have any idea how it might have happened?” Krastos asked.

“One minute they were there, the next they weren’t.” Celestia hid her face by taking a long draught of steaming diamond juice.

Lord Krastos nodded. “Well, we don’t know either. All we know is Tarzan said he was hit from behind repeatedly, and two of our knights were attacked by one of your ponies. We have reason to suspect she may be involved in the kidnapping…”

“It was changelings.” Princess Celestia stated, as if there couldn’t be any doubt.

The two dragons stared at her.

“Come again?”

“Changelings.” Princess Celestia repeated. “Shapeshifters. They tried to take over my kingdom, not even a month ago. Kidnapping the Elements of Harmony must be their idea of revenge.”

Krastos’ eyes narrowed. “I thought you had no idea what might have happened?”

Celestia shrugged. “I… only just realized.”

Smaug roared and slammed his clawed fists into the table. “JUST ADMIT IT!!! YOU’RE PLOTTING AGAINST ME!!! THIS IS AN ACT OF WAR!!!”

There was a burst of rainbow colored light. Smaug turned away and shielded his eyes, and when he looked back Celestia was gone. Or, to be more specific, Celestia the Alicorn was gone. Looking directly at him was a female beaked dragon. She was as white as bone, the color of death. Her spines were rainbow colored, but unlike her mane were stiff and sharp. She was a full head taller than Smaug, and firm muscles rippled underneath her scales.

She rested her head in one of her claws and smiled, showing off impressive teeth. “If I wanted war, Smaug, I would not slink in the shadows.”

A collective shiver passed through every dragon in the room, including Lady Babbage. And just like that, the topic of Celestia trying to form a rebellion was no longer pursued.

“I assure you, we’ll do our best to find your subjects, and ours.” Lord Krastos said, and he gently nudged Smaug out of the room.

“What are we doing?” Smaug hissed at him as they left earshot. “I thought we were supposed to be finding Fluttershy?”

“That was what I was doing.” Krastos said, idly brushing a yellow feather in his claws. “You were there to distract her.”

“Why you – the wedding is tomorrow! The preperations for war are set! We don’t have time for your games.”

Krastos sighed. “I… agree. This matter is far too serious now, and there’s no time left.” He took a drink from the flask he wore, and steeled himself. “I’m going to have to commune with the Adversary’s Chancellor.”

Smaug paled, which was impressive for a black dragon, and quickly excused himself. Smaug had been learning, these past few days, how ponies weren’t as harmless as Fluttershy. How the legends making them out to be monsters might be true.

But there was one pony that had already confirmed her status as a monster.

Lord Krastos returned to his cave in silence. He pondered the trouble of the Elements of Harmony. Why would they run away? Where would they go? Were they just hiding?

He’d gone on a scouting mission once. He had gathered a great deal of information on the six elements of harmony. He’d studied them for months to prepare himself for this. Their little dragon friend even ate some of his gems. And for all of his trouble, he was still at a loss.

He touched down gently, slithering his way into his home. Where he was met with an unpleasant surprise.

Garble was there.

Smaug’s son was patting Tarzan’s hoof comfortingly. “I’m sure they’ll find her soon man.” The dragon said.

Tarzan blew into a silk handkerchief. “But… we were gonna get married!” He wailed.

Krastos and Garble both grimaced in disgust as Tarzan cried. “Listen, sitting around crying isn’t going to help.” Garble said, trying to sound comforting at the same time as he dissuaded him from his tears.

“You don’t understand!” Tarzan cried. “She’s perfect! We clicked immediately! She was… she was just kissing me when she… when they…” He wailed again, a pool of tears gathering on the floor. “If I find out one of her packmates did this… they’re going down! I’ll kill them all!”

“And I’ll be right beside you buddy.” Garble grinned, showing off his fangs. Krastos had no doubt Garble enjoyed the idea of killing ponies. “But right now, you’ve got to focus on something else. Keep your mind off of things.” He snapped his claws. “I know! We can go beat up some of the guys!”

Tarzan sighed. “My heart… isn’t into it.” He moaned.

Lord Krastos sighed, and stepped in. He hated pretending to be sentimental. At least Garble could remain his same repulsive self while claiming to have his best interests in heart. But Krastos didn’t have that luxury.

“Oh, my son.” He curled his tail around Tarzan, who despite his body-building looked utterly fragile. “Don’t worry. I’ve just been to Lady Babbage’s house, we’ll find her. We’re sending out Lady Bahama and Lord Fransisco out to rescue her as we speak.”

“Can I join the rescue pack?” Tarzan asked.

Krastos all but gagged. “That would only make matters worse.” He said. “How do you think having a – well, a pony on their team?”

Tarzan’s face fell. Krastos didn’t think it was possibly for it to fall harder, but there it was. “Ah, I’m actually doing my part to find her right now. So if you’ll excuse me… Garble would you…”

“Going to call mom?” The red dragon asked, grinning ferociously. Krastos shuddered, both at Garble, and Garble’s ‘mom’.

“Stay strong.” Krastos muttered to Tarzan, before leaving for the basement.

His basement. His enclave. The part of the house where his ‘son’ was not allowed to enter. He relaxed.

Then he remembered why he came here.

He passed by the giant coral organ, and went towards the mirror. He watched his beloved Lady Babbage, and that frightening Princess Celestia.

“They’ll be okay.” Lady Babbage was hugging and comforting Celestia, much like Krastos had pretended to comfort his ‘son’ mere moments ago. “My husband didn’t become Smaug for nothing. If he’s still alive, you can bet that it will only be a matter of time before he comes up with a plan to make Krastos’ scheming go away.”

Contrary to pony belief, dragons are not cold blooded. Their blood is as hot as the lava they swim in. But Krastos’ blood could have been made of liquefied sun and it still would have gone cold.

Krastos had almost had Babbage, whether she wanted it or not, had Lord Stockholm not fallen in love with her. For the past twenty years Krastos and Stockholm had been fighting. Krastos would have liked to call them mirror-matches, but the truth was, Stockholm shot down every one of Krastos’ schemes, and only scheme C-a, his current plot with Tarzan, had any chance of success.

But he couldn’t be alive, right? Lord Smooze said he’d killed…

…

…

Oh, Lord Smooze.

Krastos decided he would have words with ‘Smaug’ when he was through with his tasks.

“I worry.” Princess Celestia sniffed. “I know they’ve faced some of Equestria’s greatest dangers, but I still worry. They’re my little ponies, and I always want to protect them, but somehow I never can.”

Krastos was tempted to look more, but he had other ponies to spy on. He opened a clasp at the top of the mirror, and one of Lady Babbage’s scales fell out. He held it tenderly, and put it in a soft case. He then took out the feather he’d found in Lady Babbage’s home, and placed it in the mirror. He would have preferred a hair, as with a feather he ran the risk of confusing Fluttershy with one of Lady Babbage’s fowls, but this would do.

The mirror hummed, and soon he saw her. Fluttershy was sitting at a table, drinking something. She looked sorrowful, but everypony around her was chanting. Krastos glued his eyes to the glass, watching and waiting for any sort of hint. Then he saw it; a sign above what he assumed was a bar.

Pony Joe’s.

“Krastos!”

He started. The mirror’s image faded away, and in its place the silhouette of a pony mare looking into the mirror. The mare’s image was super-imposed across the screen, making her appear to be roughly Krastos’ size. He couldn’t make out any features, only that she wasn’t a Pegasus.

“I told you, to give me a report every day this week.” The mare said. “Why are you tardy?”

“A thousand apologies your majesty.” Krastos bowed. “I was about to report to you.”

“Well, get on with it.”

Krastos bit his tongue. Dealing with the Adversary’s Chancellor was always so irritating. She acted like she was in control. And Krastos wouldn’t deny, she could back up her claims to power. He would deal with her if and when she became a problem.

“The Elements of Harmony, and their dragon, have escaped.” Lord Krastos explained. “Apparently, they believe Lord Stockholm is alive, and have gone in search for them. I do not know whether he is or is not yet. On their way out, the marshmallow looking one defeated two members of the Knights In Smaug’s Service. Tarzan is distraught. Princess Celestia claims this to be the work of Changelings, a kidnapping plot for revenge. Most dragons believe her, for now. I have discovered that Fluttershy is in an old wooden pony cave, somewhere called Pony Joe’s. Lord Francisco and Lady Bahama are both heading the search party but do not know this.” There. That was everything, concisely.

The chancellor pondered this. “How is Garble?” She asked, distractedly.

“He is ensuring that Tarzan, in his distraught state, will want to kill the kidnappers. Especially should the kidnappers be ponies.”

“Good, good.” She seemed to have struck upon an idea. “Lord Stockholm is alive. We do not know for sure, but we must act on the assumption that the worst possible outcome is probable. I know of Pony Joes, and will send you the location. One of my little ponies will get there first, and ensure they do not escape before your dragons reach them.”

“Understood.” Krastos bowed.

“I don’t need to remind you how important this is.” The chancellor hissed. “Getting rid of Lord Stockholm would qualify this plan as a success on its own. But you know that more then I. He is, after all, the only dragon in the way of you and Babbage.”

“I know.” Krastos hissed.

“Good! Then go and bring the Elements back! Dead or alive, I don’t care! Where ever they are, the Elements of Harmony are plotting your downfall right now!”

~0o0~

“CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!”

Fluttershy belted back another glass of hard apple cider. The crowd cheered and she sighed, and put the bottle on top of the neatly stacked pyramid next to her. On the other end of the table, a pirate was downing her own stack of cider. She got halfway through her drink before she collapsed under the table. The crowd cheered, and bits changed hands.

Applejack pushed her way through the crowd. “How ya doin’ sugarcube?” She asked.

Fluttershy glanced down at her forehooves. “I feel a slight tingling in my hooves.” She said. “I think it’s starting to effect me.”

Applejack laughed. “Well, I reckon if ya drink rainbows like milk, ya must’ve built up quite the tolerance there.”

Fluttershy glared half-heartedly at Applejack. “You said this drink was strong. You lied to me.”

“No lie there.” Applejack glanced at the table. “How much money didja win?”

Fluttershy squinted. “I… won money?”

Applejack blinked. “Uh… yep. This here’s a gambling sport Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy squinted at the bits on the table. “How much did I win?”

Applejack counted quickly. He jaw dropped. “Fluttershy… you won seventy bits! That’s a quarter of a season’s pay right there!”

Fluttershy frowned. “Is it enough to buy an army?”

Applejack frowned. “Ah don’t think so.”

Fluttershy gestured to the pirates. “Then I need more cider.” They cheered, and passed her another mug.

“Fluttershy, is something wrong?” Applejack asked.

“I’m just a bit upset.” The Pegasus whispered.

“Upset how?”

Fluttershy gestured. Rarity and Rainbow Dash were talking to Octavia on the other side of the room. “I used to have nightmares about shadows when I was a hatchling. I dreamt that the nightmares pulled me into the shadows, and ate me. Rarity’s one of my best friend. And she’s one of them.”

Applejack sighed. “Flutters, you ain’t gonna get mad at her are ya? ‘Cause that would make about as much sense as Twilight bein’ mad at you.”

“I’m not mad at her.” Fluttershy frowned. “I’m scared of her. I’m scared of her, but I know I shouldn’t be, because she’s my best friend. I… I’m mad at myself, for being scared of her.”

Applejack thought this through, and sighed. “Ah reckon you’ve have enough cider Fluttershy.” The crowd of pirates groaned as Applejack led her away. Applejack glared at them, and they stopped groaning.

Applejack led Fluttershy through the crowd of ponies, and towards where Twilight and Pinkie Pie were searching through the rafters. “Here Ferdinand!” Twilight called. “She held up a cracker. “Does Ferdinand want a tasty Waaaugh!” Twilight screamed as a swarm of parrots engulfed her.

Fluttershy coughed politely. “Ferdinand?” She asked.

A parrot landed on her raised hoof.

“Oh come on!” Twilight groaned, as Spike waved the birds away from her.

“I’ll go get the others!” Pinkie Pie said, before zooming off.

“And how’re you feelin’ Twi?” Applejack asked.

“Frustrated.” Twilight growled. “Did you know about this? Did you know that Rarity was breaking the law? And not just small laws like illegal immigration, you have diplomatic immunity anyway Fluttershy, but big laws!”

“Now Twi, the way Rarity tells it, she’s only a former pirate.” Applejack said. “It’s her family who’re pirates proper.”

Twilight sighed. “It’s just… these secrets are starting to stress me out.” She laid a hoof on Applejack’s shoulder. “I’m glad I have the element of honesty around. At least I know not everypony is leading secret double lives.”

Applejack chuckled. “What you see is what you get with me Twi.”

“Hello!”

Twilight jumped as the three voices spoke at exactly the same time. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Octavia had somehow come up behind her without making a sound. Judging by Applejack’s expression, she was just as surprised as Twilight, which meant they came up behind her without Applejack who was looking right at them noticing. Fluttershy squeaked, and shot up to the rafters.

“Bwahahahahahaha!” Rainbow Dash laughed. “You should have seen your faces!”

“How did you do that?” Twilight asked, calming down.

“I’m not sure about Pinkie Pie…” Octavia raised an eyebrow at the giggling pony. “But it’s a pirate trade secret.”

Rainbow Dash giggled, and flew back up to the rafters. “Hey Flutters, you okay?”

“Just… scared.” Fluttershy whispered.

“Well, up here is more shadowy then down there.” Rainbow pointed out.

Fluttershy gasped, and flew back down. Ferdinand snickered, but went quiet when Rainbow glared at him and the parrot stopped quickly.

“Alright.” Twilight stepped forward. “Lead on Ferdinand.”

The eight ponies walked through the crowd of Pony Joe’s led on by the parrot. Ferdinand hopped from perch to perch, leading them through the crowd, through a door and up the stairs, until they reached on of the quieter corners of Pony Joes. This was the place where pirate captains went to strike deals, or get away from the crowds.

Ferdinand hopped onto the shoulder of a cloaked mare, who lifted a blue hoof to stroke the parrot.

“Oh no…” Twilight groaned. “It can’t be.”

Rainbow Dash gasped, and pulled the cloak off of the mare.

Princess Luna gasped, revealed to all.

“What are you doing here?” She whispered, putting her hood back up.

“Us?” Twilight ran forward. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be, you know, keeping the kingdom safe?”

“I was.” Luna blushed. “But I was… um… meeting somepony… and… I got distracted…”

“You’re dating a pirate?” Rainbow Dash asked. “So… awesome!”

“Dating?” Luna laughed nervously. “Where did you get that idea…” She looked around and her face fell. “’Tia told you didn’t she?”

“Oh this is so romantic!” Rarity clapped her hooves in delight. “When did you two first meet? How long have you been seeing each other?”

“Sorry Rarity, but we ain’t got time fer that right now.” Applejack told Rarity.

“We always have time for romance.” Rarity pouted.

“Ms. Princess.” Applejack tipped her hat to Luna. “We’re followin’ that there parrot, looking fer Fluttershy’s dad. You wouldn’t happen ta know where he is?”

Luna tapped her chin, then her eyes widened. “Oh! ‘Tia told me about this! You’re father’s Lord Stockholm, isn’t he?”

Fluttershy beamed. “Yes! Oh, is he all right? Please tell me he’s all right!”

“Aside from going mad from a lack of books, he’s fine.” Princess Luna assured her. “Captain Scaramouch and I are hiding him in our ship…”

“Scaramouch!?” Rarity gasped. “Oh my…”

“I will thank you not to comment on my romantic life Rarity.” Princess Luna blushed and slid out of her seat. “It’s this way.”

As they walked through Pony Joe’s to the pirate galleon, Spike noticed something. “Uh, Rainbow Dash, are you all right?”

Rainbow shook her head. She had bags under her eyes, and her ears were twitching wildly. “I’m fine. I just haven’t gone this long without a nap for years.”

“Maybe you should take it easy.” Spike suggested.

“Nah, I’ll be fine.” Rainbow Dash grinned. “Just wake me up if I start sleep-flying, ‘kay?”

Octavia heard them talking. “I’ll stay out here, and guard the ship.” She said.

“Nopony would dare attack the Iron Claw.” Luna boasted. “Especially in a neutral territory like Pony Joe’s.”

“Just the same I’ll stay out here.” Octavia said. “I could use some company though.” She asked politely, looking pointedly at both Spike and Rainbow Dash.

Spike caught on quickly, realizing that this was a perfect chance for Rainbow Dash to get a nap. “Oh, Rainbow Dash and I will stay and help you.”

"What?" Rainbow Dash, unaware of their plans, looked at the other two, confused.

“That is utterly unnecessary.” Princess Luna scoffed. “What could possibly threaten the Iron Claw?”

~0o0~

Flim and Flam were nursing their wounds and tending the bar, when the elevator doors slid open. A strongly built Pegasus walked through the doors. He was as dark as a stormcloud, with a yellow streak running through his blue mane. His left wing was replaced by a clockwork contraption, with the same odd design as their Super Cider Squeezy.

“Um… excuse me sir.” Flam put himself in front of the Pegasus. “Might I ask what you’re doing here?”

“The Chancellor sent me.” The Pegasus said.

Flam gulped. “Ah, yes, I’d assumed as much. So…”

“So you’re going to want to evacuate Pony Joe’s.”

Flam’s eyes widened, and he hurried over to Flim. “Come on Flim, we’re leaving.”

“What, because he said so?”

“Trust me on this. Everything within a certain distance of Thunder Crash is in permanent danger of being destroyed. And we’re much too close.”

The Creatures of Everfree

Dark is the night, when our tale is begun
‘Neath the eaves of Everfree!
The sky filled with thunder, the wind coldly blowing
Through the leaves of Everfree!

Granny Smith strolled through the dark forests of Everfree. A Stetson hung on her head, and an axe swung at her side. A worn old book was balanced on her back. Most ponies, even strong youthful ponies, feared the forest Everfree. But to Granny Smith, it was old familiar territory. It was home.

“Let’s see now…” She muttered. “Pony eating trap plant…” She passed the plant, which to any other pony would have looked like a normal empty field, but she knew from experience that it was just too big to be seen.

“Oh, and there go a swarm of fruit-bats.” A swarm of fruit flew overhead, including oranges, bananas, pears, and even to her surprise, a Watermelon.

“That’s a new one.” She took the book off of her back and a pencil from behind her ear. The book was her Big Book of Everfree Wildlife. Princess Celestia herself had given her family this farm on the edge of Everfree, and she was going to look after it. And after her discovery of Zap Apples, looking after the farm was practically the same as cataloguing every critter in the forest.

“Next thing you know, them bats’ll have apple shapes.” She chuckled, as she made a note in the margins of the fruit-bat entry.

And then came the howling.

She shut her book. “And there’re the Timberwolves.” She nodded. “Ah’m getting’ too old fer this.”

As one, the shadows parted, and the timberwolves lunged forward. She put her book and her axe gently on the ground, and stretched her hind legs.

“Wham! Bam!”

Two timberwolves fell back under the assault of her mighty bucks. She’d been bucking apple trees all her life, she could manage these piles of driftwood. She bucked two more, and the wolves fell back. They formed a circle, and began to prowl around her. She looked around, and saw the wolf that was bigger than the others.

“Hello there.” She grinned.

The Alpha roared in her face.

She adjusted her hat, and roared back.

The timberwolf whimpered, just a little bit, his ears pulling back at the noise, and she called her pack to back off.

“That’s what I thought.” Granny Smith picked up her things. “Too old fer this.”

She trotted along, deeper into the forest. She was almost there; the Zap Apple orchard that grew naturally in Everfree. She was almost there, when she saw an unusual sight.

There was a tree. The tree was almost pinkish in hue. And it had a face. The face was an angry one, made up of knots and whorls. Surprisingly, they even formed teeth. “Well ain’t you a beaut?” Granny Smith asked. She’d never been afraid in her life, so she found it ludicrously easy to walk up to the glaring tree.

She sat down and sketched a picture in her notebook. “Tree unidentifiable. Not sure whether the face was grown nat’rally as one of them self-defense doohickies, or not, but… looks like there’s some sort of green mold glowing where it’s ‘eyes’ are.” Granny Smith thought for a bit, then put her book down and picked up an axe. “Gonna take this one home fer expermentatation.

Lightning flashed in the night sky, and the timberwolves howled, as she cut the tree down with one stroke.

The pony knew not what she started!
With a timber the grim deed was done!
And the fates sealed her destiny,
And threw away the key,
There was nowhere she could run!

Granny Smith felt the stump. “Interesting sap.” She muttered. “Almost… like blood.” She shuddered, something she’d not done before. Confused at the outburst, she picked up the fallen tree, ignoring that in a certain light the snarling face looked more like a face whimpering in fear, and made her way deeper into the forest. She was feeling lucky tonight. Usually the timber wolves never let her go this far in.

She heard the howling before she saw them, but they didn’t attack her this time. They line up on either side of her, forming a path. “What’re you doin’?” She asked, looking around at the wolves. The just continued to howl menacingly.

She cautiously walked along the path they’d outlined for her. She had a bad feeling about this.

Ahead, she saw a clearing, lit by lamps placed carefully in trees. In that clearing was an enormous timberwolf, a veritable giant among timberwolves, with skin bleached white like an ash tree and rainbow colored leaves covering her. The wolf didn’t seem to notice her, too busy talking to something in the forest she couldn’t see.

“I’m glad to welcome a new species into Equestria.” The giant wolf said. “And after seeing the amazing things you’ve done to Everfree, I’m sure my little ponies will accept you into their folds too.”

She heard a hissing rasping voice speak in a strange language.

“What? No, I haven’t been sending scouts to prepare for war. I abhor war. Why, is a pony disturbing your forests?”

More hissing, this time in clear pony language.

“Assssk her youssssselfff.”

The timberwolf turned around as Granny Smith stepped into the clearing. Oddly, the other voices belonged to three trees. Three pink trees, with snarling faces and angry bright green eyes.

Then in a bright flash of light, the white timberwolf transformed into Princess Celestia.

“Princess?” Granny Smith bowed, nervously. “What’s going on? What are you doing in Everfree?”

Princess Celestia studied her. “You’re… Granny Smith yes? I gave your parents a farm by Everfree?”

Granny Smith nodded. “Yes Princess. Uh… what are these…?”

The trees began hissing again. “These are the Jackalopes.” Celestia explained. “They are the guardians of the forest.”

“And we have tolerated you for far too long!” The trees hissed and rattled, but one spoke in pony language. “You are lucky you never stole any of our fertilized apples, or we would have hunted you down no matter how much noisssse you made! But now, you have slain one of our own!”

Granny Smith gapsed, and remembered the tree she had on her back. She dropped it in a second, horrified by the look of pained shock on the tree’s face.

The trees began to sing. “See now the innocent sap that you’ve spilt, ‘Neath the eaves of Everfree!”

“I’m so s-s-sorry, I – I didn’t know…” Granny Smith stammered.

“Hear the wind blowing the news of your guilt, through the leaves of Everfree!”

Tears ran down Granny Smith’s cheeks. “I didn’t know! Ya’ll should have said somethin’ instead of makin’ me think you were just trees!”

“You can lie to yourself and your princess, you can claim that your conscious is free…
But you never can run from, nor hide what you’ve done from, the trees!
The trees of Everfree!”

Howls of approval rang out through the clearing, and Granny Smith looked around, realizing she was surrounded by a swarm of glowing green eyes. And for once in her lifetime, full of dauntless bravery, Granny Smith shook like a leaf, under the gaze of Everfree.

“Sap demands blood!” One of the tree’s leaders called, and granny Smith’s blood ran chill at the cheers the suggestion received.

“Now, that’s a little harsh, don’t you think?” Princess Celestia put an arm around Granny Smith. “She didn’t mean any harm. Isn’t there another way?”

“I’ll never cut another tree down as long as I live!” Granny Smith swore.

The tree who demanded her blood bent over, examining his chopped brethren. “I knew him.” He said. “His mate burned in a forest fire. It was probably why he protected the apple grove so fiercely. He had a sapling on the way.”

“I have a son too.” Granny Smith pleaded. “His name’s Big Macintosh. He helps out on my farm…”

“Silence!” The tree roared.

“Wait.” Said the tree next to him. “There may be another way. A trial by goodwill.”

“What do you mean by that?” Celestia asked.

“The pony will grow the sapling, raising it as her own. After two decades, we shall come to see her, and bring her back to the forest. If she has been mistreated, then the pony has not learned from her mistakes and deserves death, would you not agree Princess?”

Celestia pondered the dilemma. “That is… a fair proposal.” She said, though she detested even the thought of one of her ponies coming to harm.

The trees nodded their assent, and a pair of timberwolves came out to the clearing. They gave Granny Smith a Zap Apple, though this one was fatter than the Zap Appes that she made in her jam. And as she felt a soft squirming from inside the apple, she figured out why.

The Zap Apples were eggs. She’d been using unfertilized apples for her jam, much like some ponies ate unfertilized chicken eggs.

She felt a wave of nausea wash over her, as she placed the apple in her saddlebags. “This shall be your trial.” The timberfolk said. “To this end will we judge your crimes. You may think to run. You may think to cheat us. Don’t. The forest does not care for how long it waits. The forest cannot be cheated.”

“Yes sir.” Granny Smith nodded fervently. “I swear, I’ll never take another tree from Everfree again!” And with that, she took off at full gallop.

One of the timberfolk stood next to Celestia. “Here is a riddle, answer if you dare, ‘Neath the leaves of Everfree."

“I hardly think now is the time for…” Celestia was stopped by an upheld branch.

“A riddle to ask of the strange running pair, ‘Neath the eaves of Everfree!”

The tree gestured to the pony as she ran wildly, clutching the Zap apple to her.

“Which is the monster, and which is the mare!? To the trees…
The trees of Everfreeeeeeeeee!”

~0o0!

There was a hole in the ground outside of Granny Smith’s farm. At the bottom of the hole were the remains of a buried Zap Apple. Just minutes ago, a baby Jackalope had emerged from it.

Princess Celestia and Granny Smith gazed at the infant. It looked just like a rabbit, albeit with antlers.

“This is the Jackalope’s true form.” Princess Celestia explained. “They are exceptionally weak, but their magic helps them grow strong. The males can possess trees, and other plantlife. The females grow a protective shell around themselves, often in the appearance of wolves.”

Granny Smith sighed. “She’ll never fit in with the other ponies, will she?”

Princess Celestia looked at her with appraising eyebrows. “Did you… ask that because you don’t want to die in fifteen years, or did you ask that because you care for her?”

Granny Smith considered this. “Ya know… ma mind’s goin’ in my old age, I don’t reckon I know which one.”

Princess Celestia scrutinized the blushing cowgirl. She almost questioned why she wanted to fake senility, but decided against it. She was a pretty good judge of character, and she could see the same spark of goodness in her that she saw in her parents.

“Granny Smith, I don’t think I have to remind you of the consequences of failing your duty.” Princess Celestia lightly scolded her.

“Ah know.”

“A new species has come to Equestria. Every other time this has happened, there’s been a war. I do not want another war.”

“Ah know.”

Princess Celestia sighed. “I know you will take as good care of this sapling as you’ve taken care of your parent’s farm.”

“Ah…” Granny Smith stopped talking as she smelt apples in the air, and felt a sunny magic tingling in her hooves. She watched as Celestia began to chant a spell, apple pies floating out of the cupboards toward her.

Celestia’s magic descended on the jackalope, and the baby giggled as it was surrounded by pie. Withing mere seconds, the bright green eyes were looking at Granny Smith from the body of a foal, coat and mane the same orange and gold as the crusts of Granny’s pie.

“She should instinctively keep her armor up.” Celestia said, nodding her approval at her handiwork. “Just make sure she doesn’t go near fertilized zap apple jam, or her… protective instincts will kick in. I’ve made the horns invisible, but you should give her something to hide them with just in case.”

Granny Smith sighed in relief. “Well Ah’ll be… she’s actually a cute little thing, ain’t she?”

Celestia smiled, but then she noticed a light on. “I have to go.” She said, embracing Granny Smith. “Remember, the fate of Equestria may depend on how well you can raise this foal.” With that, she spun around, leaped out of the window, and ascended into the night sky.

The kitchen door opened. “Ma?” Big Mac asked, walking in. “Ah thought ah heard noises. And Ah smell… are ya baking pie?”

“Ah’m jus; whipping up a li’l somethin’ fer yer new sister.” Granny Smith lied, showing her son the foal. The filly was beginning to sniff around, trying to bury her nuzzle in the apple ingredients strewn throughout the kitchen.

Big Mac lifted a curious eyebrow, and looked into his new sister’s eyes. “Ah didn’t know you were pregnant – EEEyow!”
Applejack had just bit him on the nose.

Big Mac sat back and rubbed his nose. “But she’s got the Apple spirit.” He chuckled. “What’s her name?”

Granny Smith considered. “Ah was thinking… Applejack.”

Big Mac raised an eyebrow. “Ain’t she a bit young to be thinkin’ about drink?”

“The name ain’t about drink.” Granny Smith scolded. “It’s about…” She paused, wondering whether she should tell Big Mac or not.

Big Mac shrugged. “Well alright. But if this 'Jack' feller comes around again, you let me know so’s I can converse with him about mah new li’l sis.” Big Mac stroked applejack’s head softly, allowing her to bite his hard hooves, before yawning. “Whelp, Ah’m headin’ back to bed.”

“G’night.” Granny Smith him goodbye. She smiled and sat Applejack on the counter, where she burped and tried to crawl towards an apple slice. “Well Applejack… guess you an’ I are family now.”

Tears welled up in her eyes. “Ah… Ah’m so sorry… about yer pa…”

Granny Smith cried herself to sleep that night, after tucking Applejack into bed.

~0o0~

Applejack giggled as she ran through her family’s orchards. To her, the sun seemed especially bright, as it shone through the red and golden leaves of autumn. As she almost flew by, she heard the trees whispering on all sides of her.

“There goes Ms. Applejack.”

“Eeyup, there she goes.”

“I wonder why the young miss is in such a hurry?”

“Oh, who can tell with ponies?”

Applejack spun around. “You guys!” She called. “It’s my birthday!”

The trees hissed their approval. “Congratulaions young ‘un.”

Applejack blushed. “Aaaaw, thanks fellers. I gotta git goin’ now. My granny has somethin’ special fer this birthday.” She rushed off to the barnhouse where she knew her family was waiting.

Sometimes she thought she was weird because she talked to trees. Sometimes she thought she was weird for imagining they could talk back. But she could always count on Granny and Big Mac.

Applejack jumped into a leaf pile near the barn. When she got out, she found that the leaves were sticking to her, like a great big beard. This was another one of the reasons she loved autumn. The apple tree leaves were so sticky.

She crept silently through the barn. The place was full of streamers, with one of granny’s special deluxe apple cakes right in the center. The pair of them were unsuccessfully hiding behind the cake. Applejack grinned, and snuck up behind them.

All of a sudden, Granny Smith screamed, and spun around on Applejack. Applejack flinched at the noise, and Granny stopped screaming. “Oh, sorry Applejack. I thought you was a… somepony else. How many times do ah have ta tell you not ta sneak up on me like that?”

“Sorry Granny.” Applejack blushed as Granny Smith absent mindedly began pulling the leaves off of her.

“Oh hush now, ain’t nothing to apologize fer, scarin’ an old mare like me.” Granny Smith gestured to the decorated barn. “This here’s yer birthday! Now git an’ open that thar present!”

Big Mac grinned broadly. “Ah got you this present!” He said excitedly. “Ah figured, whut could Ah get you that you ain’t already got, an’ then ah asked Filthy an’ he said…”

“Big Mac…” Applejack whined, covering her ears. Her ears were so sensitive, Granny reckoned she could hear a butterfly sneeze. She couldn’t, but her hearing helped keep the raccoons at bay. They were a curse though. Big Mac usually had to limit his talking to an eeyup or a nope when she was around, due to his big, deep, rumbling voice.

“Right. Sorry.” He rumbled in his big booming voice. He held out a box for her, and Applejack was surprised to see it was moving.

She opened it up, and a puppy leaped out and licked her face.

“Ohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboyohboy!!!” The puppy called. “You taste like apple! You taste like apple pie! I love you! I love you so much! Be my pet please! Can I haz apple pony? Oh boy wearegoingtohavesomanyfuntimestogetherplayingandeatingandsleepingandplaying!!!”

“Woah, slow down girl!” Applejack set the puppy down. “Ah can’t believe it! Big Mac, ya got me a puppy?”

“Eeyup.” Big Mac grinned.

Applejack laughed. Surprisingly, the puppy’s voice didn’t hurt her ears at all. “What’s yer name girl?”

“Winona! Winona! My name’s Winona!”

“What’re you gonna call her?” Granny Smith asked.

“Ah’m thinkin’ Winona.” Applejack said. No need to tell Granny she could hear the dog talkin’ to her. She already knew she was mad, she didn’t need Granny to confirm it.

“An’ here’s mah present to you.” Granny Smith held out her hat.

Applejack gasped, and held the hat reverently. “Granny… is this yer special hat?”

“Eeyup.” Granny Smith beamed. “An’ it’s even more special now, ‘cause it’s yers. I took it to some fancy magic doctor, and she went and enchanted it so it’d dim yer ears a smidge.”

“Wow…” Applejack took the hat onto her head. It hung low over her face, but her beaming smile was still visible.

“This way you can go to school.” Granny Smith smiled proudly.

The world seemed to stop for Applejack. “Whut?”

“You need an education young filly.” Granny Smith announced. “We’re sendin’ you ta school!”

Applejack frowned. “Big Mac didn’t go to school… you didn’t go to school… why do I hafta go to school?”

“I reckon you might git yer cutie mark.” Granny Smith explained, in a reasonable tone. “An’ ya need friends too.”

Applejack almost shook. She talked to trees and dogs and imagined them talking back. She needed a special hat just to leave the farm. There was no way she was going to school where all the other foals would call her names. She looked at the hat on her head, and began to wonder if inheriting a priceless family heirloom was worth the price.

~0o0~

Applejack frowned at the school house. It was a small little thing. Ponyville had only begun to blossom as a town recently, so there wasn’t much call for schooling. But with one of Big Mac’s friends getting a Cutie Mark, and a few couples moving away from Canterlot to escape the city’s hustle and bustle, there began to be a need for a school.

Applejack smiled nervously at the foals around her. She was the first in her family to go to school, so she had no idea what to expect. Big Mac asked Cheerilee to come around and help her sort a few things out, so she felt confident that actually attending school would be a breeze. But she’d promised Granny that she’d do her best to enjoy school and make friends. Neither of which she had any idea how to do.

A flash of color caught her attention. Curious, she stopped her nervous fretting, and trotted over.

The white unicorn looked up as she approached. “Hellooooo!” The unicorn said, in a sing song voice.

“Howdy.” Applejack nodded. She caught herself staring, and looked away.

The unicorn smiled. “Do you like my mane?” She asked.

Applejack nodded. “What color is it?”

“Can’t you see?” Rarity flourished her mane in front of her.

Applejack blushed. “Ah’ve never seen that color before.”

Rarity gasped in horror and shook Applejack's hoof. “My name's Rarity. And my mane's violet. I can't believe you've never seen that color before!"

Applejack blushed. "Well, I don't get much violet on the farm."

Rarity's eyes shone. "You live on a farm? Oh my, you really haven't seen much of the world have you?" She perked up. "Ideeeaaa! Do you want to be my friend?”

~0o0~

She was never going to be friends with Rarity again, that much was clear.

Applejack ran back to Sweet Apple Acres. She couldn’t believe she’d let that filly talk her into leaving her home.

She saw Big Mac waiting for her at home. He called, and Granny Smith came running. All three of them had tears in her eyes, as they hugged again.

“We thought you was gone forever.” Big Mac said.

“Well Ah ain’t.” Applejack hugged him tighter. “And ya better git used to it, ‘cause I ain’t leavin’ again.”

Big Mac looked up. “Sis! Ya got yer Cutie Mark!”

Granny looked in surprise as Applejack beamed. “Eeyup. I’m gonna use what I learned at school to run this place. I’m gonna be the best manager of Sweet Apple Acres Ponyville has ever seen, or ever will see! This is ma home, and ah’ll take care of it.”

Granny tried to speak, her mouth opening and closing in rapid succession, before she finally managed to get her jaw in control. “Applejack… ah think it’s time ah was honest with you about something…”

Granny Smith took Applejack and Big Mac inside of the barn. Her usual eccentric old lady demeanor gone, replaced with a grim expression. She told Applejack about her true species. About the death of her father. The deal the Jackalopes had struck with the Princess.

Applejack cried at parts. She felt shaken, and scared.

“An' now, Ah reckon ah can’t lie any more.” Granny Smith finished. “Ya got a cutie mark, that means you ain’t a foal no more. Lyin’s only acceptable if it helps keep a pony safe, and it ain’t helpin’ you no more.”

Applejack, slumped on the floor in emotional exhaustion,raised a weary and confused head. “Granny, did ya tell Big Mac about this?”

Granny shook her head.

Applejack spun around. “So when ya cried, they weren’t because ya thought I was gonna start a war by leavin’?”

“Naw, it was ‘cause yer mah sister.” Big Mac said. “An’ ya still are,whether yer a pony or a jackalope.”

Tears welled up in Applejack’s eyes, and she hugged her family. “Yer right Big Mac. And yer still mah brother. An’ Ah’m a pony; mah Cutie Mark proves it. An’ ah ain’t leavin’ you again.”

~0o0~

“An’ that’s why ah told Twilight that what ya see is what ya get with me.” Applejack explained, as she and the others were walking down the caverns into the dragon’s world. Princess Luna had thrown up an illusion around them, like a moving wall, so thte dragons wouldn't hear them talking, and would only see them walking next to each other. “Jus’ like Fluttershy’s a dragon, even though she’s a pony. Ah’m a pony, an’ I won’t let anypony tell me other…wise… uh, Pinkie…”

Pinkie Pie advanced, and with surprising speed shot her tongue out and licked Applejack. “You do taste like apple pie!”

Applejack jumped away from her. “Pinkie, stop that!”

“But you’re made of pie!” Pinkie Pie squealed.

“So you mean…” Rainbow Dash looked at the Zap Apple jam smeared onto her mane. “This isn’t just jam… this is baby Jackalope?”

Applejack grimaced. “No. If somepony did steal a fertilized apple, Ah can’t imagine them still being alive. Ah reckon that’s just a discarded apple shell, picked up from the grounds after season’s end.” She sighed. “It’s happened afore.”

Rainbow Dash still looked sick, and spat out some of the 'jam' she'd tried to clane off by licking.

Pinkie Pie visibly contained herself and calmed down. “Okay, you’re right. Now, Applejack. If you were to tell a certain somepony…” She pointedly glanced at Twilight, who was walking a short distance away. “How sorry you were, for not telling her you were one of the trees that Nightmare Moon sicced on us that had to run away when we laughed too loudly, how would you apologize?”

“Ah would say…” Applejack turned to Twilight. She remembered the horrifying vision Discord had shown her, of all of her friends breaking up. She still had nightmares about it. She remembered Granny Smith telling her it’s okay to lie if it keeps a pony safe, if there’s nothing to be gained from the truth.

“Ah would tell her that Ah never meant to hurt her none. She’s mah very best friend, and if Ah had to be her friend all over again, Ah’d tell her what Ah was right away so’s this would never happen. Ah never thought keeping this secret would hurt her. As far as Ah’m concerned, Ah’m still her best friend Applejack.”

Twilight sighed. “You know the one thing that really gets me Pinkie Pie?” Twilight asked.

“What Twilight?” Pinkie Pie asked, hopping next to her.

“What gets me, is that Applejack is like a sister to me. And I don’t have much of a basis for sisters, but I do have an older brother. And when Shining Armor messed up, when he forgot to tell me that he was getting married, it was because he was being brainwashed. Applejack almost killed Rainbow Dash, because she forgot to mention over one of the six thousand four hundred and twelve times we’ve hung out together, that she had a trigger that she knew would cause her to go wild and… and might have made her eat me…” Traitorous tears poured out of her eyes.

Princess Luna looked between the two, and decided to repay the debt she owed them. “Twilight, you do recall that my sister, Princess Celestia, did bid Granny Smith to raise Applejack in secret? Doth thou think she is wrong?”

Twilight stopped and stared at Princess Luna. The thought of Princess Celestia – THE Princess Celestia, her beloved mentor – being wrong, even accidentally!? Why, that was preposterous. It just didn’t bear thinking about. But Applejack, her best friend, being a timberwolf – a jackalope! – and not telling her for all the years they’d been together? Equally preposterous.

So there was only one logical thing to do – go with the option that didn’t involve being angry at her best friend for any longer.

“I – you’re right. Of course you’re right.” Twilight nodded. “If Princess Celestia was keeping the secret, then it’s okay.”

Applejack glared at Princess Luna, and prepared to own up to her own actions. “Now Twi, don’t go blaming the Princess. Ah should have told you…”

“But you didn’t, because you couldn’t, because Princess Celestia wanted you to be kept a secret!!” Twilight raced forward and hugged Applejack. “You would have if you could have, right?” She looked up with pleading eyes.

Applejack looked down at Twilight, and remembered her Granny’s words on honesty. She would never cheat in any competition. She would always be open with her friends. But sometimes… sometimes somepony deserved more than the truth. Sometimes they deserved to have their faith rewarded.

“Sure would have sugarcube.” She lied, bittersweetly.

The things she’d do for her favorite color.

Their hug ended, and Twilight rounded on Rainbow Dash. “But what about you? When I asked if anypony else wasn’t a pony, or was an illegal Equestrian…”

Rainbow Dash froze. “Um… I kind of…”

“We all shared ours dear.” Rarity said. “Well, except for Pinkie Pie.”

“Shush!” Pinkie Pie giggled nervously. “I have loads of secrets! I make lots of pinkie promises! You can’t ask Pinkie Pie to break a Pinkie Promise! That’s the ultimate paradox! It can’t be done!”

“I… alright, I’ll tell you.” Rainbow Dash grimaced. “It’s sort of… dangerous too. But not in front of the Princess.”

“Why not?” Twilight asked.

“Because she is enemy of the crown number one.” Princess Luna declared, with a soft smile on her lips.

Rainbow Dash went white as a sheet, and began to shake in the knees. “Now now… it’s not that bad… is it… number one?”

“You needn’t fear, Rainbow Dash.” Princess Luna shook her head and laughed. “I knew who thou were the moment I saw thine pink eyes charging at Nightmare Moon as she declared her domination of Canterlot. Already, she had defeated mine sister, but she spent the rest of the night in fear of you, as she was right to be. I’m sure Princess Celestia knoweth too, she merely hath not told anypony.”

Rainbow Dash’s tail was tucked beneath her legs, and she shook all the harder. “You… you knew?”

“Of course we knew.” Princess Luna strode up to Rainbow Dash, and bowed before her. “How could we forget, after how we treated thou a millennia ago? I would like to apologize to you for the way I behaved. And I promise I shall never allow anything like that to happen again… to the knewest regeneration of The Doctor.”

Rainbow Dash stopped shaking, and her face formed an expression that was half confusion, and half mirth.

“Doctor Who?” She asked.

On The Fly

Rainbow Crash lounged about in the yard of her Canterlot school. She was waiting for her big brother to come and pick her up. She was a little filly with a white mane and bright green eyes. Her mane was braided into a cute pony tail, and she wore a designer dress. Those were the perks that came with being the daughter of a Wonderbolt.

Suddenly spotted another one of those perks. A purple unicorn with her nose buried in a book. She practically smelled like insecurity.

Rainbow Crash smirked and zoomed in. “Hey nerd. Whatchya doin’?”

The unicorn looked up, and gasped, dropping her book. “Uh… uh… hey Rainbow Crash…”

Rainbow picked up the book. She couldn’t read, but she could figure out what it was from the cover. “Huh. A Smarty-pants book? Figures, a nerd reading a book about a nerd.” She dropped the book in a patch of mud.

“NOOOOOOO!!!” Rainbow Crash laughed wickedly as she kept the unicorn from recovering the precious book. She picked it up and flew in the air.

“Of course you can’t have it.” Rainbow Crash sneered. “You can’t take it with your magic, can you? You can’t fly. What good is your magic anyway? You don’t deserve this book. You’re nothing but a baby.” Rainbow Dash looked at the book in her hooves. “And since I don’t want it, and you don’t deserve it, there’s only one thing to do…” Rainbow Crash took one of the pages of the book, and to the sound of Twilight’s wails, she slowly began to tear out a page.

“What is going on?”

Rainbow Crash’s eyes widened, as a taller unicorn stallion trotted angrily towards them. Rainbow let go of the unicorn, who rushed over to the mud patch to save her book. “We’re playing a game.” She said, smiling innocently. “Right?” She nudged the unicorn menacingly.

Unfortunately, the unicorn was braver then she thought. “She made my Smarty-pants book muddy!” The filly cried. “And then she almost tore out a page!”

The older unicorn glared at Rainbow. “When your parents hear about this young lady…”

“When I hear about what?”

Rainbow Crash breathed a sigh of relief as her mom and big brother floated down. Her mother was a white coated Pegasus with a bouncy rainbow styled mane that Rainbow wished she’d inherited. But she was fine, because she’d inherited her mother’s beautiful green eyes. Her brother was even bigger than the purple unicorn’s brother.

“Soarin’?” The unicorn asked in disbelief. “Soarin’ Crash? Is this little filly your sister?”

“Yes, she is.” Soarin’ said, landing and putting a comforting hoof around her. “Is this your sister Armor?”

“Yes.” Shining Armor put a comforting hoof around Twilight. “And your sister was bullying her.”

“It’s not true!” Rainbow Crash yelled.

“Now now, I’m certain that no harm was meant.” Rainbow’s mother said with a smile. “I’ll make sure that my dear Rainbow knows what she did wrong.”

Shinging Armor glared at her stiffly, before nodding. “You see to it Mrs.” He said. “This won’t happen twice.”

He and his sister walked – walked! – away. Rainbow Crash looked into her mother’s green eyes. The eyes she shared. “Rainbow, darling.” Her mother stroked her cheek. “Why were you harassing that lady?”

“’Cause she deserved it.” Rainbow Crash shrugged. “It’s her fault for not being tough enough, she can’t even fly.”

“Rainbow Crash.” Soarin’ looked sad and upset. “I can fly circles around you. Does that mean I can do anything to you that I want?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Crash said. She loved her big brother. She knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt her. To her, it was obvious that he should be the boss of her. “Dad said the fastest flyers should be the ones in charge.”

Her mother and her big brother exchanged looks. “I think I’ll have to have a talk with your father about that.” Her mother said, ushering her off the field.

~0o0~

It had been a week after mom died. The night before the Summer Sun Celebration.

Rainbow Crash didn’t cry herself to sleep that night. She wouldn’t allow herself to. She was strong, like her dad.

Her dad hadn’t cried. Even when he’d lost a wing trying to save her, and his wings meant everything to him.

And losing this wing meant he spent more time training Soarin’ to be on the Wonderbolts. That was all right. Dad never paid much attention to her anyways. After she’d told him she didn’t want to train, she was fine with the way she was.

And he’d left her alone after that. And he kept leaving her alone. So this was no different.

But… she missed her mommy.

She tried to stay quiet as the door to her room opened. She wouldn’t let her dad see her being un-cool.

“Which one?” A strange voice asked.

“The girl.” She heard her dad say. “Take the girl. She’s always been a disappointment.”

Rainbow Crash sat up with a start and tried to scream, but something filled her mouth and everything went black.

~0o0~

It was dark.

Rainbow Crash opened her eyes. It was very dark, but there were candles. Candles everywhere. And an ominous chanting.

“Wh-what’s going on?” She asked. She tried to sit up, but she was strapped down to a table.

The candles began to glow with a fierce light. The fire rose, and in the rising she saw a pair of eyes. They were old, ancient eyes, eyes that had seen the universe. Eyes of a trickster, eyes of a warrior, eyes of a doctor, eyes of an explorer, eyes of fire and ice and everything in between.

“HEEEEELP!” rainbow Crash cried.

Then the eyes fell into hers, and all was silent.

~0o0~

Somewhere among the crowd of the Summer Sun Celebration, there was a purple unicorn filly. Her special talent was magic, though she didn’t know it yet. Despite being a Canterlot Unicorn, she was not one of the nobility and was not stuck up on her prowess. She was slowly remembering her many past lives, and though she had their experience she was not them. She was new. She was destined to become Celestia’s apprentice, to become an outgoing member of the royal courts of Canterlot, to overthrow the rotten aristocracy, to lead a social revolution, discover the Seventh Element of harmony, with her friends Rarity, Octavia, Lyra, Minuette, Berry Punch, and Raindrop. In short, she was a complete and total Mary Sue, ideally placed to save Equestria from every disaster that would take place in the next fifty years.

But she would never get the chance to live up to her full potential. Because as Celestia raised the sun, the pink in her eyes dimmed. The memories of past lives left her. She was nothing more than Twilight Sparkle.

A short distance away, in the land of Ponyville, lived an earth pony. He had a brown coat, a scruffy brown mane, and striking, cat-like green eyes. He was currently terrorizing his parents to take him to Canterlot. There, he would be able to advance himself in the most prestigious academies. Soon he would charm, woo, and marry Princess Cadence, distinguish himself as the inventor of the Time Machine, develop a war between ponies and dragon in the midst of the confusion of the revolution his adversary would doubtless spark, and soon, for the first time, destroy that accursed pony that kept him from destroying Equestria two millennia ago.

Be he would never get the chance to live up to his full potential. Because as Celestia raised the sun, his green eyes dimmed, and became round instead of slitted. The memories of past lives left him. He was nothing more than Time Turner.

~0o0~

“… Did it work?” One of the hooded figures asked.

“I think it worked.” Another said. “At least… I mean… we only have the one page from the Necroponinomicon, but I think I translated it correctly…”

A scoff. “Typical unicorns.”

“Shut up Crash.”

“D-daddy?” Rainbow Crash began to cry.

“Check on her.” The youngest voice commanded.

“Rainbow?” Thunder Crash worked his way into rainbow Crash’s field of vision. “Rainbow, wake up.”

“Where am I?”

“You’re in a sacrificial pit. We were going to have a ritual, and it was going to work, but apparently you can’t even trust unicorns with magic.”

“Y-you were gonna sacrifice me? Why?”

“You were just bait for a larger prey.” Thunder Crash cursed. “It was either you or Soarin', and let's face it, you'll never be a great flyer. You don't have the drive. Pity this poor excuse for a trap was manned by unicorns and an earth pony, they promised me a new wing.”

“Thunder! Silence!” The younger voice commanded.

Rainbow Dash kept crying. “This is a really horrible trap.”

“Yeah, I know.” Thunder rolled his eyes.

“I mean, you made an even bigger mistake then trusting unicorns.”

“What’s that?” Thunder asked, curious.

“Thunder, get back.” The young voice commanded.

“Quiet, I wanna hear what mistake she thinks we made.” Thunder growled over his shoulder.

“Oh yeah.” Rainbow’s crying died down to sniffling. “Big mistake. Huge mistake. Didn’t anypony ever tell you? There is one thing you should never put in a trap. If you’re smart, if you value your continued existence, there is one thing you never! Ever! Put! In a trap!”

“It’s him!” the young voice yelled, As Thunder realized his daughter’s eyes were now pink.

“Me.” With a flick of her wrists, Rainbow tossed the tears that had collected in her hooves into the air. Forming a cloud, she began to punch them, sending lightning across the room. Thunder, with practiced speed and accuracy, leaped out of the way of the first bolt, falling out the window. The other unicorns were not so lucky, getting zapped the first chance they got.
When the room was clear, Rainbow grunted, dislocated her shoulder a little, then slipped out of the ropes. With a heave, she popped her shoulder back in.

“Alright, who’s in charge here?” Rainbow demanded of the room filled with groaning ponies.

“I am.”

Rainbow walked forward. A crystal ball sat on a pedestal, and a young face looked out. “You?” Rainbow asked. “You can’t be any older than this body is!”

“It’s never too early to think about the future.” The young earth pony mare in the crystal ball smirked.

“You have no future.” Rainbow snarled. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? In this body, I might not be able to stop Equestria from being destroyed!”

“Oh, I know that Doctor.” Said the smirking foal. “Or do you prefer Starswirl? Daring? Dodger? I know all about your exploits. My papa started this organization, and I’m going to finish it. The ritual we used has put you in the body of a foal, whose own father thought she was a weakling. How does it feel to be less than spectacular? Less, even, then ordinary?”

Rainbow growled. “My life force is tied to the Adversary. This ritual effected him too.”

“But he didn’t have a focus.” The foal continued to explain. “He could end up anywhere. And when he does, when some random weak body ends up with his memories, he’ll have to have me help him. That way his inevitable betrayel will be curbed before it begins.”

“So you want him for his power, but he won’t be powerful?” Rainbow scoffed.

“Oh, but you forget.” The other reminded her cheerfully. “Remember in your days as pirate king? You defeated that regeneration of your nemesis, but only by having him set up to be sealed in the moon for ten centuries. Guess which century it is?”

Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed.

“He’ll be back more powerful than before. I’ll have him on a leash. And the one pony with a history of being able to stop him? Is in the body of the most pathetic foal we could find, and the only living witness to the scene of a terrible massacre.”

Rainbow hissed. “I’m a filly. My lightning bolts weren’t that –”

The ponies on the floor screamed. All of them at once, in a horrendous symphony. And then, they were silent. No more groans. They stopped trying to get up. They stopped breathing.

“Enjoy fleeing from the Royal Guards with a body that isn’t your own.”

Rainbow Crash leaned forward. “Whoever you are, wherever you are, you won’t get away with this. I will find you. I will –”

The crystal ball shut off.

Rainbow was in a daze. She shook it off. “What… what happened?” She looked around and all she saw were the bodies.

“What… what’s going on?”

“Rainbow.” Rainbow heard herself say. “Rainbow Crash, isn’t it? Nice name, wonderful name.”

“Who are you?” Rainbow asked. “What’s happening?”

“Well, here’s the thing Rainbow.” Rainbow said. “We’ve got a bit of a problem. Well, two problems. Three problems. Four problems and a book, and quite possibly an angry alicorn.”

“Why aren’t they moving?” Rainbow poked the bodies. “They used to be moving… they were singing…”

“They were chanting.” Rainbow explained to herself. “Chanting a way to put me inside your head. Let’s call that problem four point five.”

“Are they…” Rainbow’s blood chilled when she realized they weren’t moving. At all. Not even shuffling like ponies who were asleep tended to do.

“Now now Rainbow.” Rainbow told herself. “I know you’re scared, but we still have problem two to deal with. Direct the attention of your ears to the door.”

Rainbow turned. There was one door in the room, and two windows. Beyond the door, she could hear the frantic thumping of hoofsteps. Far away, at the stairs, but getting ever closer.

“I don’t need to alarm you Rainbow.” Rainbow said. “If you can’t handle this, I’ll save us. But we’re going to be together for a long time, and I don’t want to suppress you.”

“Is that what happened?” Rainbow shivered. “You heard dad taking me away? I heard him and I thought I was in danger, so I… I took over… I ‘handled’ this?”

“I know you’re upset…” Rainbow tried to explain to herself.

“Upset… why would I be upset?” Rainbow’s eye began to twitch. “I’m only insane. I’m only a psychopath that talks to herself and could snap at any time!”

I can talk to you without talking if it helps.

“That doesn’t help!”

The door slammed open. Three well built unicorns entered the room. One of them had to hold back his vomit at the scene.
Rainbow Crash looked around, and saw one of the windows had been smashed open. “Freeze!” The guards yelled, and she bolted. She dove out of the open windows, taking to the skies.

“Did I do that, or did you?” She asked.

“You did it.” She answered.

“Oh man, that was the royal guard!” She moaned.

“Well look on the bright side; you’re flying!”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I’m flying away.”

Goodbye brother.

~0o0~

Rainbow Crash – no, Dash – got ready to take off, as she watched Fluttershy hovering to the cloud with a flag in her mouth. She blew a lock of her hair out of her face. She didn’t own a comb anymore, and she’d had to dye it a distracting variety of colors. But she liked it. She liked being a ruffian. She decided it was better then any of her posh former friends.

Why are you doing this? One of the voices asked. There were more of them now, more personalities, more memories…

Because somepony has to. Rainbow Dash answered.

Fluttershy waved a flag, and they took off like a shot.

But… if I may ask, why are you being better than yourself?

What? Swerve. Swerve. Hoop.

Your father taught you that anypony who couldn’t fly, even baby Pegasi, were worthless. That they deserved whatever you wanted to inflict on them. You’ve lived your life believing that. Why turn against it now?

Rainbow Dash gritted her teeth. I’m not turning against anything. Fluttershy, Unicorns, Earth ponies, they’re all pathetic.

But you’re helping Fluttershy.

Just because she’s pathetic doesn’t mean she'll always be. Rainbow Dash pushed her speed to the limit. When I was a baby, I couldn’t fly either. I’ll help Fluttershy fly. I’ll build her up. I’ll help Earth Ponies. I’ll help unicorns. They may be babies, but who wouldn’t help a baby who’s crying?

… I can only think of one.

Rainbow Dash pushed herself further She passed one of the bullies. I’ll protect them. And I’ll help them grow. Because right now, I need that too. I need to keep hidden from the Royal Guards. I need to grow big enough so I can someday fix my four and a half problems. And someday, I won’t be a baby anymore. I’ll be as awesome as the Wonderbolts – no, I’ll be even more awesome then them. I’ll be the best! I’ll be elite!

A sharp turn in the course came. Rainbow Dash could feel the very sky itself trying to slow her down, trying to reject her, trying to tear her apart. But she would make this turn.

Because all babies grow up. And someday, the world will know Fluttershy’s name. And mine. We’ll take the world like a hurricane.

She tore through the color spectrum. Everything exploded into light. Looking behind her, she saw her cutie mark, and grinned.

Like an Oncoming Storm.

~0o0~

“Okay parrot.” Rainbow Dash whispered. “You do what I say, and you’ll get your cracker.”

The parrot and her shoulder looked at her dubiously. “Squack, Liar liar, pants on fire, whistle!”

“Please!” She hissed. And with that she rounded the corner and bumped into her friend Fluttershy. Being one of the most unexpectantly strong ponies she knew, instead of bouncing off her like most foals, Rainbow found herself on the ground with her friend.

“Oh!” Fluttershy said, getting up hastily and helping Rainbow up. “Oh, I’m so sorry Rainbow Dash, I should have watched where I was going.”

“Oh, no problem.” Rainbow Dash said getting up.

“Squack! Here, let me help you up!” The parrot gallantly offered a wing, but Fluttershy got up on her own.

“Oh thank you, you’re such a lovely bird.” Fluttershy cooed.

“Squack! Gonna cut ya with a spoon!”

Fluttershy squeaked and backed away. “Oh… my…”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash’s face flushed red. “I decided that I should have a pet. But Jackie here has violent schizophrenia…”

“No I don’t! Squack! Ahahahahaha, kill you myself.”

“Oh my, that sounds quite serious.” Fluttershy fished around in her saddles and brought out a bottle of pills. “Here. Have her take one of these and a slice of apple, and a long nap.”

“Thanks Fluttershy, you’re a real gem!” Rainbow Dash eagerly scooped up the pill bottle and the two Pegasus parted ways.

“I want my crackers.” The parrot informed Rainbow.

“Yeah yeah, here’re your crackers.” Rainbow Dash shoved the box of crackers into the parrot’s claws and the bird took off.

You don’t have to do this! ‘Starswirl’ yelled.

I know! If you want to make it effective for a Pegasus, I’d say two pills, and two full apples a day.

Doctor!

What? She has as little choice in this as the rest of us. If she wants to be rid of us, it's her choice. We said we wouldn't dominate her!

Yeah! Let her live as she wants for now, if she needs us, she knows where to find us!

You too Dodger?

“Guys, I’m right here you know. I can hear you.” Rainbow Dash said. She sighed and took the pills. “Now be quiet.”

~0o0~

Rainbow Dash placed her bits on the table. “I’m telling you guys, this stuff is the best. My friend AJ, she makes it every year and…”

“I’m sorry Ms. Dash…” The waiter placed the tray on the table with not three, but two foamy glasses of cider upon it. “But this is all the kitchen has in stock at the moment.”

Rainbow Dash’s face passed through various stages; shock, anger, denial, resignation, and resolution. “Alright. Here ya go guys, cider’s on me.”

Soarin’ and Spitfire looked at her with shock from across the table. “Oh, you don’t have to…”

“No, no, I want to.” Rainbow Dash beamed.

She’d just won the Best Young Fliers competition. She’d been so stressed out about it, that she’d actually almost failed her routine. If it weren’t for Rarity, she probably never would have done the rainboom and won.

The truth is she’d been… hesitant about winning. Very hesitant. Did she really want to win? Should she lose? But now that she’d won… well, it was all worth it. Even if Soarin’ did discover her secret, even if he did turn her over to Celestia who would probably never let her near Twilight or Fluttershy or any of her friends again for being a psychopath… it was worth it.

“You’re right this is great!” Soarin’ said, sipping his cider.

“Woah!” Spitfire’s eyes widened. “After travelling faster than the color spectrum, everything tastes like dazzling sparkling meadow dew with the finest hint of clovers! Or maybe that’s just the amazing cider. Better order some more food just to make sure.”

Soarin’ nodded in agreement. The three of them had already racked up a substantial bill (being athletes means copious consumption of calories) and were still hungry. Rainbow, of course, had eaten the lion’s share, being the one who’d gone Mach 10 this morning. But Soarin’ wasn’t one to lose, and was doing his best to keep pace.

“So, hey, Dash.” Spitfire continued, after they’d placed another order to the mind-boggled waiter. “What do you think of joining the wonderbolts?”

Rainbow Dash, having been bereft of cider, was currently chugging a gallon of lemonade. The contents immediately went from her mouth to Spitfire’s face.

“Y-y-you mean it?” She asked, shocked.

“Well, what you did this morning?” Soarin’ smirked. “Kind of impossible. Especially with passengers. I can’t believe we haven’t heard of you before today, but even you are younger than most of our applicants, I’d say you’ve earned it. Even if the rest of your routine totally sucks – and I’m sure that was just the jitters – we’ll work you into Wonderbolt shape in no time.”

Rainbow Dash swirled her cup in her hands slowly, before resolutely answering; “Sorry, no.”

The two Wonderbolts exchanged shocked looks. “Why not?”

Because Wonderbolts have background checks, and I’d be arrested and hospitalized before you could say V.I.P. “Because I’m too awesome for the Wonderbolts.” Rainbow smirked at the looks on their faces. “Seriously guys, I just wanted the prize of being able to hang with you today.” She tried not to make her eyes soften and she touched her brother’s unknowing hoof. “But I’m kind of an Element of Harmony. That’s like, as elite as you can get. I’ve already reached the top. And you guys are awesome and I’d totally do you both, but being a Wonderbolt would mean leaving Ponyville and I just couldn’t do that.”

Spitfire smiled. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, praying they bought it. “I mean, if I were a Wonderbolt, everypony would know my name. Being an Element of Harmony is basically the same thing, but a little more low key.”

“Well it sure is nice to meet somepony secure enough in herself that she doesn’t need thousands of adoring fans to tell them how special they are.” Soarin’ smiled. “Here, I’ll pick up the check.”

Rainbow Dash couldn’t help but smile at her brother. Even if he'd never smile back the way he used to.

~0o0~

Rainbow Dash snuck up on the library. There she was. Twilight Sparkle. Dressed up in some sort of goofy country singer song. Soon, she’d wished she’d brought and electric guitar, ‘cause she was about to get the zapping of her life!

She loomed in closer, just as Twilight was explaining her costume was some old dead dude called…

Starswirl the Bearded.

The hoofsteps were calm and balanced, walking without fear even as the magma flowed freely from the volcano behind her. Occasionally, the hooves would falter, and the bearded pony would gasp in pain, but then he would correct himself and continue walking.

Two shadows fell on the floor. Out of the moonlight emerged the princesses, Celestia and Luna. “Starswirl… oh Starswirl.” Celestia hugged him. “What happened?”

“I bested the Adversary… temporarily.” The old stallion coughed.

“What do you mean?” Princess Luna asked.

Starswirl’s beard grew ever longer, and the wrinkles on his face became more pronounced. “I am dying… but I managed to use the Necroponinomicon to bind my life force with his.” He coughed and wheezed. “And he is immortal.”

“Then why are you dying?” Luna asked.

Starswirled looked at her with ancient eyes. “He is defeated… but will return every century. So too will I return. Always in a new form. If I win, the cycle begins anew. If I best him twenty one times, the cycle will end. If he bests me even once… he will destroy Equestria.”

The two princesses gazed at him, tears in his eyes, as he walked towards the blue booth in the field. “This world… these traditions… I would have used them to best him. I would have the Adversary defeated by a common pony. But no… I had to use the ancient dark rituals found in the necroponinomicon to bind him. As far as I am concerned… I have failed.”

He walked into the blue box. “And now, I pay the price for the black magics I’ve used. But I will see you again my princesses… in my next regeneration. You will know me by my eyes… and him by his.”

And with that he shut the door, closing the box as his tomb. The princesses cried, and the magma rolled on and over…

Rainbow Dash shook her head. Where had that come from? She shrugged, and focused her attention on Pinkie Pie. Twilight probably wouldn’t have liked the prank anyway.

~0o0~

The pendulum moved ever lower, as Daring Do and her faithful companion Rose lay strapped to the table.

“I hate this.” Rose moaned. “Why does he always leave us in these traps?”

“You worried I won’t get us free?” Daring Do asked brashly, tangling her hoof in the ropes that bound them.

“Well no, but…” Rose sighed. “That’s another thing, you always escape!”

“We always escape.” Do corrected.

“Why does Azzy leave us in a trap if we always escape?”

Daring Do frowned. “There’s a protocol to these things Rose. Our adversary is an ancient creature, bound by rules of black magic. He can’t kill us directly. It has to be a trap for him. Always a trap.”

Rainbow Dash blinked. Where had that come from? She hadn’t read that in the book.

She shifted and yawned. Awe well. Maybe she could write a fanfic about it later. She wasn’t much of a writer, but she never would have guessed she was a reader before, so maybe.

She loved the Daring Do novels. It was almost like she was right there, in her place! It was like she could feel the ropes on her skin and the heat of the savannah… like they were memories…

The alarm clock next to her buzzed, and Rainbow Dash jolted out of bed. “Oops.” She facehoofed, and went to her medicine cabinet. She hadn’t had any of her pills since before she went to the hospital.

~0o0~

The garden was alive and light with dancing ponies, but only two could fit in the dance floor. Naturally, once the Bride and Groom had left, the honor of dancing in the middle would only – could only – go to the fastest dancers on the floor.
Soarin’ Crash and Rainbow Dash.

They danced like their hooves were on fire, and they were likely to be if they didn’t stop dancing sometime soon.
Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief as Soarin’ slowed down. Not that she’d ever stop dancing with him, but he really set a high pace. “You want something to drink?” He asked.

“Sure.” Rainbow agreed, and the two of them moved out of the centre of the dance floor (more room for Rarity and Fancy-Pants). Soarin’ motioned for Rainbow to sit down and the bench. Now, Rainbow was certain that she had been very careful to be awesome tonight. There was no way any wincing had made it through her sore hooves, on the dancefloor with Rarity’s really uncomfortable horseshoes mere hours from bucking Changelings.

So she decided not to blow cover just yet. “I’m gonna go and sit with Spitfire.” She told Soarin’ discreetly hovering to take the wait off of her hooves.

“Sure.” Soarin’ smiled and headed to the punch bowl.

Spitfire smiled as Rainbow sat down next to her. “Well, congratulations Rainbow.”

“Yeah, that Sonic Rainboom was pretty sweet, huh?” Rainbow tossed her mane. “At an upward angle even. My wings are the strongest in the world!”

“Well, yes, that too.” Spitfire giggled. “But I was talking about you and Soarin'. I’ll be honest; I’ve had a crush on him for like, forever. But the better mare won his heart.”

The world seemed to shatter into fragments. Then the fragments shattered into universes, each universe containing a single screaming Pegasus.

“W-w-w-what?” Rainbow Dash asked, aghast.

Spitfire raised an eyebrow. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not his ex or something. He doesn’t even know. You don’t need to worry about me interfering with you two lovebirds.”

“No! No no!” Rainbow Dash shook. “I mean… he’s not really into me is he?” The thought of her brother being attracted to her in that way was… well, she didn’t know enough words, but there was probably something a whole lot wordier out there than disturbing!

“Of course he is.” Spitfire said, winking and nudging Rainbow Dash. “He told me so just last week. Asked me to put in a good word for you tonight. You know, romantic atmosphere, you saving the world and doing a sonic rainboom again, I think he’s going to ask you –”

“Oh look at that!” Ranibow Dash gulped. “My friends are all running after the Princess’ wedding carriage! I’d better join them! Bye!”

“ – on a date.”

Spitfire looked confused as Soarin’ walked up with the drinks. “Hey, where’d Dash go?” Soarin’ asked.

Spitfire shrugged. “She said she had to go do something with her friends. She’ll probably be back soon.”

But Rainbow would never be back. She could never look her brother in the eyes again, not knowing that he was looking at her with doe-eyes. That night, as she made it back to her house, she took down her trophy for the best Young Flier competition, and replaced it with her new most cherished possession.

The picture of her and her brother, the last time they would meet.

For the first time since her mother died, tears flowed free and unrestrained.

I Thought You Were Dead

Lord Stockholm slept in the hold, with cannonballs for pillows and ropes for blankets. Needless to say, when he awoke, he awoke to the most pleasant surprise he’d had in a long while.

“Daddy!”

He sat upright, hitting his head on the ceiling, and felt the golden ball of fur and feathers attached to his neck. “Fluttershy!” He hugged her, a difficult task but he had a lot of practice. “Ferdinand gave you my message!”

“I’m so happy you’re alive! I thought you were dead!” Fluttershy cried with tears of joy.

“So did everydragon else.” Stockholm smiled. “It’ll take more than some brute and a dirty old dragon to conquer Smaug.” He looked around. “And you brought your friends!”

“Ahem.” Twilight Sparkle stepped up. “Hello Mr. Stockholm. I’m Twilight Sparkle. I just want to say, it’s an honor to meet you. You have a wonderful collection of books!”

Stockholm laughed. “A kindred spirit! Fluttershy’s told me all about you Ms. Sparkle. And you must be Applejack, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity. Where’s your friend Rainbow Dash?”

“She had to get some rest.” Fluttershy sniffed. “She’s so tired from helping me.”

~0o0~

“I’m not tired.” Rainbow Dash stomped her hoof like a child.

Octavia sighed, and blew a strand of hair out of her face. “Yes, you are.”

“I’m not.” Rainbow Dash shook her head. “And you can’t make me go to sleep.”

Octavia turned to Spike. “Spike, there’s a special cider inside, it’s called Hazy Draught. Would you fetch a pint?”

“Sure.” Spike jogged towards Pony Joe’s.

Octavia and Rainbow Dash met each other’s eyes. “You realize, if I tried to escape, you couldn’t stop me.” Rainbow Dash said.

“You forget, I am a pirate.” Octavia smiled, demurely.

Neither of them blinked.

“Yeah, you are a pirate. That’s pretty awesome by the way.” Rainbow Dash admitted.

“Thank you.” Octavia bowed like she’d just finished a performance, still not breaking eye contact.

“So… do you have a marefriend?”

Octavia blushed, and raised an eyebrow. “I thought Spike was your son?”

“Yeah, but that was all some sort of magic ‘oops, that shouldn’t have happened but it was pretty cool’ type deals. Literally magic, you know. Spontaneous combustion of life or something. I’m unattached.”

Octavia blushed, and looked away. “Well, I suppose I can schedule in a performance at Ponyville if –” She looked back and Rainbow Dash was gone.

Octavia smiled. “Clever mare.”

~0o0~

“I’m glad you’re all here and safe.” At ‘safe’ Stockholm squeezed Fluttershy tighter. She was still hugging his neck, and sniffing a bit.

“How did you survive?” Twilight asked. “I thought Smaug killed you?”

“Yes, it wasn’t easy.” Stockholm smiled. “When it became apparent my stare wouldn’t work on him, I tried to fight him by hand, but it was soon apparent somedragon was magically boosting him. A clear violation of the rules of engagement. So, I played dead. He struck me with his tail; an almost fatal blow. And I fell backwards in the Great Volcano. I read once, that volcanoes are all interconnected. I hadn’t had a chance to experiment, but I didn’t expect that brick-headed cheater or the Knights to know anything about it. I lucked out; I came up in a volcano some distance away, before the magma fully infected my wounds. I gave Ferdinand a message and then spent a week here, with Captain Scaramouch and Mare Serenatus here as my gracious hosts, recovering and planning my return.”

“As Rainbow would say, that’s awesome.” Applejack grinned.

Stockholm saluted her.

“Mare Serenatus?” Rarity asked Luna. The princess shrugged, sheepishly.

“After a week to ruminate, and upon hearing of your wedding, I realized what Smaug was after, and what the dragon behind him is after.” Stockholm growled. “Lady Babbage.”

Fluttershy looked up. “What does mom have to do with this?” She asked.

Stockholm growled. “Fluttershy, Lord Krastos has been after her hand in marriage for as long as I’ve known the two.”

Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “But… he’s… three times as old as her…”

“Exactly why your mother keeps refusing.” Stockholm nodded. “But think; according to Draconian law, any arranged marriage can be interceded if by a close family member of any one of the parties.”

“What does that mean?” Fluttershy asked.

“It means that if there’s no other option, Lady Babbage can be blackmailed into taking your place in the marriage, and likewise Krastos can take his sons place to marry her.”

Every pony and dragon looked at Pinkie Pie. She seemed to realize her outburst of law knowledge was unexpected, so she simply grinned. “I’m random!” She chirped.

“Yes… that’s exactly what it means.” Stockholm nodded. “With me gone, and you engaged, Krastos will blackmail your mother into marrying him to save you. And Smaug is going along with this for the war. The only other option is, of course, Princess Celestia directly acting against one of dragonkind’s few laws, sparking an all out war. Lord Smooze has been aching for a pony war ever since you stopped his cousin from taking the Long Sleep in Equestria.”

“Those are the only options?” Pinkie Pie drooped. “That doesn’t sound like fun at all.”

Stockholm growled. “I’ve been thinking for the past couple of weeks. Mare Serenatus and I think we might have found a way to limit the war to minimal casualties, perhaps end it on the first day, but… yes, those are the only two options I can see.”

A single tear fell from Luna’s cheek. “It is such a shame. According to my sister Equestria has been peaceful for centuries. I wished to see this peaceful Equestria. But it seems that war rests only as long as I do.”

Twilight shook her head. “So that’s it? We’re just giving up and going to war?” Her frown wavered, as if she were about to cry. “There has to be another way. Surely between you and Princess Luna, you’ll have figure out something! There’s nopony else who can take Fluttershy’s place?”

“No.” Stockholm shook his head. “Vulcas could, of course, but he’d be as happy as Fluttershy or my wife would… be…” He suddenly perked up. “Did you say Princess Luna?”

The princess coughed politely. “I… may have been giving you my alias.” She admitted.

“But that means…” His eyes shone. “That changes things!”

“Somepony just had an ideeeaaaa!” Pinkie Pie sang.

“Yes!” Stockholm grinned. “I know how to beat Krastos! Quickly, before you escaped, what did you decide would be your cover story?”

“That we were kidnapped.” Twilight answered. “That’s what Celestia is going to tell the dragons. But Rarity got seen by the guards, so I don’t know how well that story will stick.”

“I’ve got a plan.” Stockholm grinned. “Quickly, we need to find the right book before –”

And then the alarm bells rang.

~0o0~

Spike strode up to the bar. The Flim Flam brothers were gone, and a one-winged Pegasus was manning the counter. If you could call it ‘manning’ it. He was just sitting back and having a drink of cider. It looked like nopony was ordering anything from him though, so maybe he was just taking a break.

“Excuse me.” Spike said. “I’d like a pint of Hazy Draught?”

The Pegasus raised an eyebrow at him.

“It’s for a friend.” Spike clarified nervously.

The Pegasus slowly nodded, and began to fill up a mug with cider. “You’re the dragon that hangs out with the Elements of Harmony, aren’t you?”

Spike nodded. “Yeah. The name’s Spike.”

The Pegasus smiled. “Nice to meet you Spike. I’m Rainbow Dash’s father.”

Spike blinked. Looking closely, he could see the resemblance. But only looking closely. He frowned. “Hi.”

Thunder seemed to smile even wider at Spike’s frown. “I take it she’s talked about me.”

“No.” Spike said. “But from the way she treats me, it’s clear that she has a whole lot of daddy issues.”

“More then you’d think.” He flexed his mechanical wing in a way that Spike found creepy. “So, what, you mean to say you’re her son?”

Spike flinched. “Uh… sort of.”

Thunder chuckled. “What’d she do, buck a dragon?”

Spike, innocent, innocent Spike, smile. “Yep!” He said. “Right in the face!”

Thunder doubled over in laughter, spilling Rainbow Dash’s drink. A few of the pirates in ear shot stifled giggles and moved to another part of Pony Joes’. Thunder rolled around on the floor, visibly trying to get control of himself.

Spike felt like he was missing something,

Thunder pulled himself back up over the bar. “Sorry about that. Eheh.” He reached for another mug and began to fill that. “So… you don’t look much like her son.”

Spike frowned. “Well, I get that I look like a dragon, but –”

“No no, that’s fine.” Thunder waved it away. “I’m talking about your wings. Or rather, your lack thereof.”

Spike looked behind him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you can’t even walk on clouds.” Thunder scoffed. “Much less be able to imitate my famous ‘Stallion strut’! Ah, but I suppose this was inevitable. Rainbow was always such a failure when it came to flying. It figures she’d lead my grandson in her worthless footsteps.”

He pushed the mug over the counter into Spike’s waiting grip. Spike crushed the mug with one hand.

Thunder raised an eyebrow at the fire in Spike’s eyes. “…What? Wrong brand?” He began to pour another mug.

“No!” Spike all but roared. “How could you say that about Rainbow Dash!?”

“What? That worthless stuff?” He shrugged. “She’s always been that way. Don’t let it get you down though, I’m sure when you have a kid of your own, it’ll have wings to carry on the family legacy.”

Spike slammed his fists against the bar. “She’s not worthless! She’s the best flyer in Equestria!”

“Then why isn’t she in the Wonderbolts yet?” Thunder chuckled.

“They offered her a spot after her second sonic rainboom.” Spike said bitingly. “But she turned them down because she was so much better than them.”

“Is that what she told you?” Thunder laughed again, but this time his laughter was devoid of mirth; more like a bark. “I bet that’s what she told you. Celestia, that girl!”

A cup-holder popped out of his mechanical wing. “I think I’d better hold this. Wouldn’t want it broken again, now would we?” He began to trot outside, but Spike stepped in front of him.

“Rainbow Dash doesn’t care that I can’t fly.” He said. “She says as long as I’m awesome in my own way, I don’t have to live up to her. That’s what happened, wasn’t it? You forced her to live in your shadow?”

Thunder frowned. “Kid, take it from your old man; living in shadows is how you grow. Now come on.” He trotted around the foal. “I believe it’s time I had a chat with my Rainbow.”

A bell began to clang in Pony Joe’s.

“What’s that?” Spike asked.

“That’s the alarm.” Thunder said. “It means dragons are coming. We’ll have to block the cave’s entrance.”

“I have to warn the others!” Spike ran ahead. In part, he wanted to warn the others. But mostly, he couldn't stomach the sight of Thunder any longer.

~0o0~

“They’ll be covering the entrance.” Luna said, listening to the stone moving away.

“I… never knew you were so approving of pirates.” Rarity hesitantly half-asked the princess.

Luna smiled. “A thousand years ago, I knew a brilliant mare who was a pirate. She was my best friend… until… well.” She clapped her hooves. “Don’t worry Rarity, I’m sure you’re one of the good pirates.”

“I’m actually not a pirate.” Rarity corrected her. “I left that life a while ago. Although…” She looked around. “There are times when I travel without paying the proper fees.”

Stockholm and Twilight were busying themselves with the few small books in the corner of the hold. “What about this one?” Twilight asked.

“It only pertains to the laws regarding pirate travel, I read that one already.” Stockholm fumed. Almost literally. “We’re looking for the big book of all Equestrian laws. I know it’s there somewhere.”

Twilight searched through the books. Due to Stockholm’s size, he couldn’t search through them himself. “I wish Spike were here. This would be so much easier if he was here.”

The doors to the hold opened, and Spike and Octavia rushed in. “Dragons are coming!” Octavia called.

“Yes, yes, we heard the bell.” Stockholm muttered distractedly.

“Rainbow Dash is gone!” Spike said.

“Oh no!” Pinkie Pie gasp. “What if she wandered off to the secret tunnel and took a nap? There’ll be nothing between her and the dragons!”

Twilight and Applejack shared a look. “Ah’ll go get ‘er.” Applejack ran out.

~0o0~

Thunder Crash strolled along the docks, watching the pirates push a large stone in front of the cave’s entrance. The hazard of stealing your riches from dragons.

He set his cup of cider down. “I brought you a drink.” He said. “Thought we might have a nice chat.”

A rainbow colored blur came out of nowhere, and slammed him into the side of Pony Joe’s. Rainbow Dash’s eyes were wild, and frenzied. “I thought… you were dead…” She let go and bucked him into the ground. “The voices in my head…” She hissed. “Are telling me... you should be dead…” She spun around and did a triple summersault to build momentum before slamming him into the ground. “Give me one… good… reason… why I shouldn’t listen… to them?”

Thunder got up like it was nothing. “Somepony hasn’t been taking her pills recently.” He said, dodging her next attack. “I would think the Element of Loyalty would know not to kill her own father?”

“He’s right.” Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her mouth, and glared at him.

Thunder Crash took advantage of this, by taking lightning cloud from where he’d hidden it under his wing and bucked it towards her. Her skeleton was illuminated briefly, before she fell.

Rainbow growled and took to the skies again. Thunder followed. Rainbow spun around and flew past him, screaming: “Here comes the Filly Flash!” Thunder turned and followed her, but she preformed a trick with such accuracy that he was momentarily blinded, and knocked out of the sky by a positive lightning explosion!

He picked himself up and took off, heading straight towards Rainbow Dash. The two engaged in a game of chicken for a while, before with a hiss, Thunder’s wing separated. The upper half of the prosthetic wing folded over, and molded itself onto his other, real wing. Small fires began to light the tips of both clockwork wings.

He veered off to the side, and as they passed Rainbow heard three words:

“Enhanced. Stallion. Strut.”

The explosion rocked the cavern.

~0o0~

Lady Bahama was a light dragon. Her job was to fly through the skies, providing illumination for the other dragons. But Lord Francisco was a tunneling dragon. While all dragons could dig naturally with their tails, his tail made up more than two thirds of his body. She’d always felt more comfortable under the earth, with him.

Suddenly, he stopped drilling with his tail. “Did you feel that?” He whispered.

She grabbed her lamp, the one always floating in front of her, on a stem like that of an angler fish. She pressed her lamp to the ground, like a stethoscope, and heard the vibrations.

“Explosions.” She whispered. “Something it close.”

Lord Fransisco resumed drilling.

~0o0~

“Hold it right there Partner!”

Thunder looked up. He’d laid Rainbow on the ground in front of the tunnel. The rock was rolling shut behind them, but there was still ample space for the orange earth pony to come through. “What do ya think yer doin’ with Rainbow Dash?”

Thunder took a jar out of his mechanical wing. “It’s not what I’m doing, it’s what you’re doing.” He smashed the jar against his daughter’s head, and a rainbow colored liquid spilled out.

Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “What’s that?”

“Come and see.” He took off.

Applejack ran over to her friend. “Rainbow Dash? Rainbow Dash, wake… up…” Her nostrils were suddenly filled with the scent of the jam. “Zap… apples…”

She groaned, and took a step back as Rainbow Dash woke up. “Applejack? What… what’s going…” Her eyes widened as her friends stared at her. The bright green of Applejack’s eyes took up the spots of her eyes that used to be white or black. And they were glowing.

Applejack moaned, and panted. Bits and pieces of wood flew in from the gap in the rocks where Pony Joe’s was. It was like watching driftwood eat her. “What has he done to you?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Her hat fell off, and Applejack collapsed, buried under the wood. Soon, it was like she hadn’t even existed, she was just a pile of scrap wood.

And then the pile got up.

The pile of wood grew four legs, ending in sharp claws. The pile of wood grew a head, ending in sharp fangs. Two holes opened up in the head, and glowing green eyes shone out.

The timberwolf howled.

Rainbow Dash looked from her friend, to the gap in the rocks, and back to her friend. “I don’t care what any of you say.”
She said to the voices in her head. “I’m not running.” She picked up Applejack’s hat. “Sorry Applejack, but I’ll keep this safe for when Twilight finds a cure for… this.”

The Timberwolf lunged at her, lunged at the one unknowingly covered in Zap Apples, and Rainbow Dash flew away, beginning their deadly dance.

~0o0~

Pinkie Pie did five summersaults in succession. “My Pinkie sense!” She cried.

“What does this one mean?” Twilight asked.

“It means Applejack just turned into a timberwolf and is trying to eat Rainbow Dash, and they’re both outside of the cave!”

“… What!!!?” Twilight felt as if her mind could explode at any second.

“Oh no!” Rarity gasped. “Octavia, we have to stop them from closing…” Octavia was already gone.

Twilight sighed, so tired, but managed to gather herself up. “Come on girls!” She called. “I have absolutely zero ideas as to what is going on, but I’m not going to let any friends get lost in this sea of madness!” The Elements of Harmony rushed out of the ship.

Princess Luna moved to follow them, but Lord Stockholm stopped her. “Wait! Your highness!” His massive claws had finally flipped to the right page of the right book. “I’ve found it!”

“You’ve found a salvageable route to our nation's harmony?” Luna asked.

“Yes!” Stockholm cheered. “But it’ll be dangerous, and we don’t have much time so we’ll have to improvise some of it. Here’s the plan…”

~0o0~

Forte and Sir Ivory pushed against the rock.

“What are you doing!?”

They spun around and saluted as Octavia appeared behind them. “Captain! We’re shutting the gates so the dragons won’t find us!”

Octavia glowered at them. “Has it not occurred to you, that there are a pair of ponies in that corridor!? If the dragons find us, so be it! We’ll finally get a chance to fight them instead of hiding in the shadows! But we do! Not! Leave! Ponies! Behind!”

She pushed Forte aside, and gripped his harness, and began pulling in the other direction with all of her might. With some hesitation, the rest of the pirates joined in.

The Elements of Harmony rushed past them, and were met with an unusual sight. Rainbow Dash playing a game of ‘can’t catch me’ with a timberwolf!

“That’s it.” Twilight said, sitting down. “I give up. I don’t know up from down any more. This is…”

“Any ideas Fluttershy?” Pinkie Pie asked, nervously.

Fluttershy took in the scene. “She’s just being protective.” She decided. “But she’s going to try and hurt Rainbow Dash.” She flew over to the pair of them. “This is over, now!”

The two stopped, and stared at her. And she poured the full power of ‘The Stare’ onto the timberwolf. The timberwolf quailed, and back away with her tails between her legs.

“Applejack, if that’s you, SNAP OUT OF IT!!!” Fluttershy yelled.

The timberwolf yelped, and the wooden armor fell off of Applejack like leaves falling off of a tree. Her eyes returned to their normal, non-glowing state, and the look of sheer terror on her face was more than what Fluttershy could bear.

“Oh… I’m so sorry.” Fluttershy stopped staring, the taunting echo of monster ringing in her ears.

Applejack gasped, and collapsed on the floor. “Ah… Ah’m sorry.” Applejack whispered. “Ah…” her eyes widened as Rainbow Dash touched down, and she galloped a safe distance away. “No Rainbow Dash!” She yelled. “Don’t you come none closer, ya hear? Not ‘til you get that Zap Apple washed offa you.”

“Applejack…” Twilight looked at the mare she had thought was her best friend. “I thought what I see is what I get?”

Applejack was shocked into silence.

Tearfully, Twilight turned away from her. “Does anypony else have something they’d like to share?” Twilight asked. “Is anypony else an Illegal Equestrian, or not even a pony!?”

Rainbow Dash sheepishly raised her hand.

Twilight grunted in frustration. “Of course! Well at least you’re honest!”

The hurt in Twilight’s voice stabbed Applejack like a dragon’s fangs. “Twi… I am a pony… what you saw there was just…”

A purple hoof was held out. “I don’t want to hear it.” Twilight muttered. “I don’t want to hear anything from you.”

The somber moment was interrupted by Fluttershy’s dad rushing into the tunnel with Princess Luna. With a mighty heave, he pulled the stone shut, knocking the ponies on the other side off of their feet. “Alright, you know what you have to do Luna.” He said. Then he looked down, and saw Fluttershy in tears. “Fluttershy? What’s wrong?”

Fluttershy sniffed. “My friends… they’re… fighting...”

With a crash, the tunnel split open. Lord Francisco and Lady Bahama came out of a hole in the wall. “Lord Stockholm?” Lord Francisco gasped.

“That’s right!” Fluttershy’s dad beamed, and stood up tall. “I kidnapped these ponies! Now, if you…”

Princess Luna blasted him with a powerful beam of magic.

“NOOOOOO!!!!!” Fluttershy screamed as her father slumped against the wall. She tried to rush forward, but Rarity grabbed her, and pulled her into an embrace.

Princess Luna flew to the eye level of the dragons, noting the small army of dragons in the tunnel behind them. “I am Princess Luna, second in command of the Kingdom of Equestria. Thank you for your timely arrival. I have just finished rescuing my charges.”

The Lord and Lady smiled understandingly. “We heard the explosions. It must have been an impressive fight.”

“May I accompany you, as you escort my charges back to your kingdom?”

“It would be an honor.”

Fluttershy buried her face in Rarity’s mane as Lord Francisco dragged her father away. Rarity tried not to panic about how wet her mane was getting. Applejack stood far apart from her best friend’s glares and animal-inducing scent. Twilight tried to make sense of the world and failed. Spike tried to comfort Twilight and Rainbow Dash at the same time. Rainbow Dash tried to block out the voices in her head. And Pinkie Pie… was Pinkie Pie.