World's Strangest Traffic Stop.
I stroll through town, down the Vegas strip, on the way to my hotel, in my wine red Ferrari 1986 Testarossa with a white interior. I look out of the window as I drive, but only to be blinded by the many bright lights of Las Vegas. Shadows, formed by anything blocking light, dance across the dashboard, and the zoom of cars going by, fill my ears. Many of the buildings stretch all the way up into the sky, with light's on everywhere. People going to and fro, flood the sidewalks as they enter and exit hotels, and casinos. I head up as far the strip I can go, before having to take a turn to get off the main road. Even off the strip, there's still, quite a lot of traffic. When it comes to being on, or in the area of the Vegas strip, there's going to be a heck of a lot of traffic. It's like people are hypnotized to coming here.
Las Vegas is a city that is full of surprises. So much goes on here, that nobody knows what they might see here. Within the few years that I have lived here, I have learned you never know what you might see as you go about your day. Whether it be a simple car crash, a fight breakout, a robbery, to something bigger like riots, shootouts, and just plain old craziness like people making any random excuse to cause trouble. It's actually quite hilarious seeing crazy drunk beating each other up, or police officers chasing lunatics around the city. If you actually think about it, Vegas is a place filled with idiots who love to gamble, party, get drunk, high on some sort of drug, and get thrown in jail an hour later. Seeing drunk people beating each other up has to be one of the funniest things I have ever seen, and it happens quite often now days.
After five years of working for the Las Vegas highway patrol, I have seen so much, even though it's the outskirts of Vegas, and I have come to believe that anything could happen. At first it was fun because most of the time, it was just some random boobs, racing to get to the city of lights. This gave me the chance to do something fun with my time. A good portion of the people I pull over, claim to have no idea that they were being followed. Sometimes they'll stop, and seem very cooperative, but then I come to find that some of them happen to have illegal drugs on them like cocaine, and so much of it. There was even one time I had to shoot a guy because he shot at me, but missed, and I happened to flinch, and the bullet hit his ankle, and somehow blew his whole foot off. But the thing that nobody told me is that today I'd be taking part in the worlds craziest traffic stop. The world will ever know.
I finally arrive at the hotel when the phone in my pocket begins to ring. Who could be calling me? Won't know if I don't see. I pull the small flip phone out to find that work is calling me. But why? Today is my off day, and I had plans to hang out with my friend Bobby, today. Guess not. Over the past year, I have gotten bored of my job, but here and there, I'll just do it for the heck of it, and for the money. My job gives me the opportunity to chase some crooks around, which means high speed pursuits. Plus, I work during the day, and they are calling me in now? And for what reason? I shake my head, and I press the green "talk" button, and I hold the phone up to my ear.
"Hello?" I say into the phone which I still need to pay my bills for.
"Hey, Jacob, the boss wants you to take Bob's shift tonight since he just called in sick." The soft female voice replies from the other end.
"May I ask who is calling?"
"Dude. It's Becky. The chick you went to high school with, duh!" She scoffs sarcastically.
"I know, I was just teasing you." I reply, chuckling a bit.
"Yeah, yeah whatever, that what you always say."
"I know right? So when do I need to come in?" I ask politely.
"Um...how doe thirty minutes from now sound?"
"Sounds good."
"See you then!" Becky cheers. I bet she's bouncing up and down right now like a goof. She always gets over excited over everything.
"Bye!" I reply, hanging up the phone.
Man, this sucks. I was expecting to have a fun night tonight, but now I has to go to work. I sigh sadly as I start the car again. I sit there for a moment pondering over how I can make this still fun. Just sitting there on a desert road on the outskirts of town doesn't sound like any fun at all, and I'm gonna have to do it alone. Plus I can't stay up past ten anymore, and it's 9:33 pm. I sigh again as I pull out from the curb, when the greatest idea comes to mind. I know I wanted to hang out with Bobby, and I thought that work was going to get in the way. My idea is that I go, and pick up Bobby, and we head to the police station, and I can get into my uniform and what not, and I could get one of those plug-in sirens. I'd plug them into the car, and me and Bobby would go around busting bad guys in a Ferrari. A wide smile spreads across my face as I pick up a little bit of speed, weaving in and out of traffic.
45 minutes later...
The time is 10:20 pm, and luckily I haven't passed out yet. Maybe because now Bobby and I are speeding down the outskirts of the city at about 186 mph. The engine in the back roars loudly, and I am pushed into my seat due to the forces if gravity. Never would have thought my job would get any funner than what it was, but I was dead wrong. The bright headlights make the dark road glow a bright white.
"Dude I didn't think they'd actually allow us to do this!" Bobby yells over the sound of the screaming engine.
"I know right?! This is amazing!" I yell back, but then I see down another road, what looks like a silver 2001 dodge minivan. "Hey look!" I say to Bobby, pointing at the silver vehicle.
"Let's go get em!" He replies.
"You bet." I say, smirking. When we get to the intersection of the two roads, I turn right, after the minivan, and I set the siren a blare.
I had hoped whoever this was would try and flee, but instead they pulled over right away instead.Way to kill the mood. I sigh, rolling my eyes.
"I hoped they'd at least try to get away." I say grumpily as I pull the car to a stop.
Once I get out, I see the drive of the minivan sprinting at me. I back up a bit, beginning to pull out my tazer. The man looks to be eighteen years of age. He has brown eyes, and short blonde hair. HE stops in front of me, and he drops to his knees, and into a praying position.
"Help me please! She's about to give birth!!" The man pleads, with tears streaming down his face.
Without hesitation, I move around the pleading man, and I walk over to the van,and I see nobody in the front passenger seat. Then I hear the sounds of grunting pain coming from the back seat. The light from the Ferrari helps a bi to help me see, but I can't see well enough to see the person in the back, so I grab my flashlight from my waist, and I turn it on, and I point it into the direction of the sound. What I see is what looks like is some sort of a really small, light blue horse, with a yellow, and orange mane and tail, that I have no idea how they are color or how they are shaped. Its eyes are shut, and it has it has it's forelegs wrapped over the stomach which is bulging out quite a bit. I gasp loudly, and I stagger back from the van, not believing what I just saw.
I look to my right to see Bobby walking up to me, and the driver of the van goes inside.
"Hey what's going on dude? You alright? I know you're usually not up at this time and would be very tired, but this isn't right." Bobby states, with concern in his voice.
"I know I used to be a vet, but this...this is just wrong..." I reply shaking, as my hands jiggle, and my legs wobble.
"What's going on?"
"I'm about to deliver a baby." I reply, slowly walking back to the van as more moans and screams are made.
"Well go dude! Don't be stalling on something like this!" Bobby shouts, pushing me towards the van.
When we get to the sliding door, I take a sec to take in a deep breath to calm myself. I open the door, and I bend over as I step inside. The man is sitting with the horse's head in his lap, as he stroke it's mane. I see the eyes, and they are fricking huge!! They take up like most off the head.
"Hey, it's gonna be okay. This friendly officer is here to help okay?" The guy says to the horse, and it nods?
I hear it's breathing, and it doesn't sound like a normal horses breathing either. I step into the back section of the car. The horse looks up to the man with worry in its eyes. He gives it a small reassuring smile and nods, then the horse looks in my direction. This thing actually looks as if it's from a cartoon, and not an actual thing. What is going on with it anyway? I shrug the thought off as I carefully put my arms under the horse, and I slowly begin to lift it, and it's a lot lighter than I thought it would be, and then I finally notice it has wings?! How did I not see this. it's so darn obvious!! As it moans, it takes in quick, deep, in and out breaths, a lot like a human would. I slowly make my way backwards, and I step down, out of the van, and I sit it up against the rear tire.
The guy follows us out of the van, and he sits by the horse and takes one of it's fore hooves in his hand.
"Don't worry. this will all be over soon." He says to the horse, now that I see it's too small to be a horse it's actually a pony.
"Okay." I hear another voice say. I look up to Bobby who is just standing there dumbfounded.
"Did you say that?" I ask him. He shakes his head.
"I did." The voice says again. I look back to the blue pony who is glaring at me now with it's forelegs folded across her chest, and her tail flicks in annoyance next to her. My mind goes blank. I pull over some dude who I assume was just another numskull, only to come to find that I'd be helping a talking pony give birth. I stare back at the pony who's mouth had just moved, and words actually came out. Then I hear Bobby walking away. I turn my head to see him heading to the car. He opens the passenger side door, and emerges with what looks like a camera. "Now are you gonna help me or what?" She snaps before grunting in pain again. "Its coming!!" She grunts.
"Okay...just...just push for me okay?" I say as I sit in front of this English speaking alien-pony thing.
"Well how else is it gonna come out?" She snaps.
"Hey, just calm down and this will go a lot smoother okay?" The man says rubbing the pony's cheek. Why is he treating her like this? I know it's nice but it's too nice.
"Okay, fine. I hate it that you have to be so hot." The pony says before kissing the guy on the cheek. Now my mind is spinning uncontrollably. I can't comprehend what's going on right now. I just can't process it. Are they...together? I gag. I think I'm gonna throw up. I manage to swallow the waste back down as Bobby returns to my side with a camera in hand, and it makes a small beep.
"What the- Are- are you video taping me?!" The pony shouts.
"Problem?" Bobby replies smugly
"Yeah, you better quit, or I'll be all over you like Pinkie Pie on a cupcake, and it ain't going to be pretty!" She roars.
"This is going to make history." Bobby says, ignoring the blue pony's threat.
"Uggghhnnn!! It hurts so much!" She grunts as she pushes, and a little bit of blood comes out of her plot.
"Just keep pushing and it will be fine." I say, giving the...pony...thing...a reassuring smile. She simply nods this time instead of making some random outburst.
"We're going to be so rich Jacob!! Bobby exclaims, moving closer to the mysterious pony.
"Dude put that thing away, she asked not to record her. at least give her that respect since she obviously isn't having the best time of her life!" I snap.
"Who cares?! Don't you want to be famous?! Don't you see what you're doing? You're helping give birth to some sort of alien like pony thing!"
"Exactly. I see these two are probably sharing their lives together, and if this gets out, the government is gonna wanna know about it, and who knows what they might do! Now put the thing way!" I'm almost shouting now, but I really don't want to since I'm trying to keep my cool.
"Fine." He replies, chucking the camera off into some random direction. I turn my attention back to the pony who is still pushing, and from her *bleep* I see what looks like a blue mane atop a yellow head.
"I-I can see the head." I state to the pony.
"Really?" The pony asks, her face lighting up with glee.
"Yeah. What's your name anyway?" I ask.
"Lightning Dust. You?"
"Jacob Brent. It's a lame name I know."
"Nah, it's alright." She says kindly before uttering another scream as the baby foal slides a little farther out, and it begins to cry.
"Hey." I say, putting a hand on Lightning's shoulder, the blue fur soft on my hand, whens he finishes screaming, and she looks at me with a face that says ,Can't you see I'm in pain right now?' "I know this hurts a lot, but since ponies have a heightened sense of hearing, you're basically hurting your foals ear drums, so I politely ask that you try and not screams that loud. You don't want him, her to be deaf do you?" I ask softly. She shakes her head.
"I'll...try." she responds with a weak smile.
I'm still having a hard time believing that I'm doing this right now. If you told me ten years ago, that ten years from now, you'd be assisting the birth of a talking pony on the side of a desert road two miles from Las Vegas, I'd probably smack you for saying something that cray cray. I take my hand off of her shoulder, and I go to start slowly pulling the foal out of her bloody *bleep*. The young pony is covered in head to hoof in his/hers mothers red life essence. With more grunts, and moans, and light screams now, I have gotten it half way out, and I can see the wings.. Bobby is staring at the scene as if he were staring at Sia's face. The chick who sings The song called "Chandelier". No wonder why she faces away from the crowd. I think I know how she got her name. When people see it they be like "See ya" Which sounds like Sia. The guy, who's name I eventually found out is Mark, is now hugging Lightning close to him. They are definitely together.
I look at my hands as I continue with the delivery, and they are covered with the 'red life essence' as well. Now I'm to where the hind legs, and blue tail have emerged, and now I can just pull him out. Him because penis. Literally. I chuckle a bit at my unintentional pun there. I am now holding the small colt in my arms, and I have no idea how this works, but the head is about the size of his body. He has stopped crying since Lightning actually managed to keep her ear piercing screams to a minimum. Now to cut the embliflicable cord. How ever that word is pronounced. Lightning gasps, when she finally sees her son, and her face melts away to happiness.
"It's a boy." I say softly, while smiling. I tell Bobby to go to the car to get the towel in the glove compartment. After a minute he returns, and he hands it to me, and I clean off as much of the blood as I can from the newborn foal. I hold the child out to Lightning where she takes him in her forelegs, and rocks him back and forth, with tears welling up in her eyes.
"Thank you." She says as a tear tumbles down her right cheek.
I look to Mark who pulls out a pocket knife from his pants pocket. Did I even have to say where he got it from? omg. *Facepalm*. Mark hold the knife out to me, and I take it form him. It takes me a second to realize why he gave me it, then, in my head, I'm like oh yeah! I need to cut the embifillicablible cord. *bleep* I *bleeped* it up again. I open the knife then I realize something else. Dis *bleep* had a concealed weapon!! Eh. It's kind of a good thing in this case, I think to myself as I cut the cord an inch away from the foals stomach.
"No problem. What are you gonna name him" I ask.
"Jacob. Jacob Vega." She says smiling up at me.
"I think I have an idea where you got that name from." I say, as I use the same towel to try and clean the blood on the street.
"Well it's quite obvious." Lightning replies, rolling her eyes, then looking back down to the small colt laying in her forelegs, sleeping. She leans over, and nuzzles his cheek, causing him to sneeze one of those cute little baby sneezes, and he opens his eyes for the first time. The eyes are a beautiful emerald green, which seem to glow a little bit under the light.
"He's an adorable colt." Mark says, reaching his hand out to rub Jacob's mane, but he catches Mark's hand with his forelegs, and he nibbles on the index finger, while making little baby noises.
"Well, he did come from us" Lightning says, before kissing Mark on the cheek again, thus proving my theory of them being together, in and out if you catch my drift.
"Okay...this just got weird. As if it wasn't already." Bobby blurts out, finally speaking. Both Mark, and Lightning Dust shoot a glare at Bobby. "What?" He asks, shrugging, while looking at me quizzically.
"That was offensive." I reply giving him a stern look.
"Oh..."
"So what were you guys coming to Vegas for?" I ask MArk and Lightning
"Well, we don't know really. We just decided to pack our bags and come here. We weren't expecting for her to give birth for another week, and now here we are." Mark replies.
"I see. So what were ya doing with a concealed weapon?" I ask holding up the black knife.
"Um...well...I..." Mark mumbles, searching for words to say, but they don't form.
"Dude it's cool, I'm just messing with ya." I say, handing the knife back to Mark.
"That's not the only weapon he has concealed." Lightning chuckles, and looks down at...Mark's...AAANYWAY, How was your day? Mine was quite interesting. I woke up, did nothing all day except eat, sleep for a couple hours, play Halo, and then I helped a talking pony give birth, so you can say I had quite a day today.
"Jacob?"
"Yes Lightning?"
"Do you want to hold him?" Lightning asks, holding little Jacob out to me.
"Are you sure? I don't wan to drop him." I reply, hesitating to grab him.
"Oh, I know you won't drop him. You pulled him out, so I'm sure you can at least hold him.
"I wouldn't anyway. Have you not noticed that I'm still covered in your blood?" I say, gesturing to myself.
"Good point." She frowns a little as she pulls Jacob back into her chest. Jacob giggles a little as he wiggles in his mothers arms.
"So, I can tell you aren't from our world, so how did you get here?" I ask, tilting my head a little to one side.
"That's the thing. I don't remember. But luckily I was found by my fabulous Mark here." She says smoothly, as she lays against Mark's chest.
"Well that's good then." Bobby says, smiling.
"So, instead of just sitting here in the middle of the road, How about we get you guys home?" I ask, standing up.
"That's another thing. We don't have a home." Mark replies, shrugging.
"Oh. Well you guys can stay with me for a while until you can get one if that's alright, because it's not very pleasant living on the streets here in Vegas."
"That would be great." Lightning says smiling at me.
"Like I said before. No problem."
