Loser Logic

by Regina Wright

Rating: teen
Tags: Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 2118

As children and as adults, Twilight had always felt that her brother was a weirdo. And he might be but that doesn't stop him from always being smarter than her.

As children and as adults, Twilight always had conflicted views about her brother. Pure and simple, he was a weirdo around her. Sometimes, he would be in a good mood. Sometimes, he would be in a bad mood. And sometimes, he would be smarter than her using his strange logic. For Twilight, logic does not exist. Not that kind of logic. That logic was wrong because it always, always made her feel stupid.

Her brother Shining was aware of that and took pleasure in taking her down a notch. It's only a game that only smart ponies could understand... And if his sister couldn't understand that, she didn't deserve to call herself the smartest.

Published 2015-01-09 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-01-09 04:30:01 UTC

From When It Starts

Imagine a wide-eyed filly, a small purple thing of a unicorn, trailing after her no-good brother. The scene was Canterlot, Equestria's mountain-top capital. On that particular day, the city grew loud and festive as holiday cheer rose to infectious levels as Hearth's Warming crawled ever so near. Also, it had finally snowed. Setting the perfect scene for the best Hearth's Warming the city would host yet.

The first snow was a little early. A little powdery (disgusting to any foal past six) and not too much fun to play with (a waste of time to any pre-teen past ten). It stuck to the cobblestone and piled into snow-like drifts to be moved. But it did not clump and snow ball fights were nearly impossible unless a foal wanted to be hit with a ball of ice. But parents in Canterlot rejoiced and en masse, threw each and every one of their foals out with the vague and cruel command to 'go play'.

The siblings' parents, Twilight Velvet and Night Light, had the best intentions. How could they decorate the tree, string the popcorn and get all of their Hearth's preparations done while their two favorite monsters kept on asking about their presents? The holiday's wonder has been lost to them, they thought but they would try yet again to bring joy to their cynical children.

The filly, Twilight, a well-behaved child on only certain occasion attempted to follow her parents' words on good faith. She was still too young to understand that her parents told a white lie. She was also too young to understand why that was a good thing. So when she had enough of playing and the little park that they were in. And she did have enough; making snow-ponies in the crusty snow (flaky ice shards) and tried three whole times on making a snow statue (and cruelly watching it collapse under the heat of her very hooves).

What little childish pulse that filled her veins (and often made her into a ball of unreasonable energy) quickly froze. For the first time in a long time, Twilight found herself tired. Before this, she was often distracted into tiredness by her favorite foal sitter, Cadance, by her parents and by her own brother. She never experienced tiredness for herself and this very first time caught her by surprise. Because of her age of being only eight, Twilight could only react in the only way she learned. She took it out on her brother.

This brother of hers, Shining, towered over her at the strange and unfamiliar age of eleven. Twilight herself was only eight and (un-)understanding of her brother's odd ways. Whether due to his age, his schooling that kept them from spending time with each other like they used to or his pre-teen ness he would spout before demanding she get out of his face, her brother was unpredictable. Shining, for lack of a better word, had moods.

For the first ten minutes, her brother ignored all of her repeated and annoying questions of “Can we go home yet?” and “Why are you being mean?” and the meanest she could muster, “Shiny's ugly hind~y. He doesn't wipe behind~y. White coat, good soak. Stained coat, yucky nope.” Shiny at this point in time, was casually bullied in school. Each and everyone of his sister's words stuck to him especially when she recited every word from the same colts who followed him home from school.

All Twilight knew was that her taunts should have made him either bring her home or drop her into a slush pile. Both sounded fun to her.

Shining continued to ignore her, causing Twilight to become aggressive.

For the next twenty minutes, he endured her yanking his tail, tugging his mane and stomping hard on his hooves. When she ran out of breath, she resorted to hitting him with frosty acorns and hard pieces of snow into his bare coat. Shining remained so quiet that Twilight began to assume he'd gone deaf. Thus she began screaming her little head off and running in circles around him. All heads in the park turned in their direction as Twilight shrieked herself blue and her brother who watched with a vacant look in his eyes.

Normally, Twilight wouldn't have gone so far. Normally, Shining wouldn't have let her.

But Shining remained silent and Twilight decided that she was tired of him being silent. At any other time, Shining would have resorted to playing a quick game before taking her to a cafe. Nothing made a little kid good like a cup of hot cocoa. But Shining was lost in a mood and when he came out of it, he became aware of every little thing Twilight had done.

This led to a Great Thought.

The same thought that every big sibling eventually had toward their younger one.

It appeared first in a parade of statements dressed as questions. Why should he have to deal with Twilight? Did their parents know what she was like when they were alone? Why did she have to be his problem? Why couldn't she grow up? He didn't act like that as a child. (He did.) So why should Twilight get special treatment? Why did she get to go to a special exam why he had to be stuck in his stupid school?

And so forth.

So in that cold afternoon when the sun became a spotlight, illuminating Shining's abrupt descent into madness in that mockery of 'watching his sister', Twilight began petulantly kicking Shining's sides and blaming him for everything. Thus when Shining finally moved, pushing Twilight away with his bigger hoof and striding down the park's trail, Twilight only followed after him. Thinking she won and spelling the end of her boredom.

The pair crossed through the snow and passing the frost-dipped trees. The lack of leaves allowed the sun to continue to shine on Shining's face, obscuring his face and painting him in reddish hue. His hair was a mess as strands curved due to the beauty treatment Twilight performed, giving him the appearance of something magical. Twilight was breathless as she followed, starring at this not-brother who was taking her home the long way.

“Say squirt.” Twilight gulped as she struggled to keep up with his long legs. Shining wasn't mad, was he? “You're smart, aren't you? I mean, real smart.”

“Yes!” She squealed, Shining couldn't be that mad. “I am the smartest. Quell before me, muddle!” Twilight walked a little faster and bumped into his raw side, causing him to grunt. The filly made a face at that but decided this was the best time to present her demands. “And as the smartest, I want coffee.”

“No.”

The air around them became quiet as they exited the park and crossed the street. Twilight stared up at her brother, that red, red glow still following him. Nervous, she tried to say something, anything that would perk him up but Shining surprised her with a question.

“Do you... Do you want to play a game?” Shining spoke, taking the moment to glance into her eyes, then abruptly looked away. His sister squirmed under his gaze before stuttering out her words. She was falling for it, hook line and sinker.

“What game?”

“A logic game.” He replied, mentally counting how long it would take for them to reach the house. It was only a five minute walk and he rather not have his parents overhear what he was doing. He was only teaching her an important lesson.

“I never heard of a logic game before.”

Shining smiled, the sides of his eyes crinkling as he walked along. “I guess that means that you're not smart.” He teased, watching as Twilight missed a step and pretended that she didn't nearly trip. “It's okay to admit that you are a loser sometimes, squirt. I'm not going to judge you.”

“That's only because you are the biggest loser!” She stuck her tongue out at him. “I'm the smartest around here! I know what a logic game is! You don't! I bet you don't even know what a game is! But because I'm so smart, I'll let you tell me what it is.”

“Oh.” Shining said, his lips twisting in a grin. “Then let me ask you a smart person's question. Make sure to listen to me carefully or you might become confused. Of course, smart ponies are never confused.” He looked down at Twilight, unusually silent as she got on her thinking cap face, making her look horribly constipated. “Now I'm not a smart pony so you'll have to bear with me.

“There are only two kinds of creatures on a mysterious island. There are the Honestants who can only speak the truth and the other kind, the Swindlecants who always lie.”

“I don't get it. You're making it up.” Twilight cried, her forehoof already in the air to kick into her brother's shins. Shining only shushed her and resumed his question.

“Three of these creatures are having a quarrel at the market. A pony goes by and asks the first creature: Are you an Honestant or a Swindlecant?”

“She can't do that. That's rude! I learned that at-” Shining paused in his walking to stare at her and Twilight went silent. She kicked him. “This doesn't make sense. It's not logical.” She mumbled under her breath.

“The first fellow's answer is so incomprehensible that the pony turns to the next creature. The next question is simply 'What did the first creature say?' The second creature answers, 'He said that he is a Swindlecant.' But then the third creature interrupts, 'Do not believe my friend, he is lying!'”

Twilight nodded her head but still struggling with the fact of there being Honestants and Swindlecants. They sounded like some breed of cat. She could imagine them standing on their four paws, bigger than their relatives like the house cat and going on strange adventures. Ooh, what if there were other creatures on the island like Shylies that kept to themselves and Bravododo that ran into the face of danger!

“I want to hear about the Shylies.” Twilight blubbered before she blushed about being caught in her thoughts. “Um... What am I supposed to be solving for?”

“I didn't tell you the question yet. What is the second creature and the third creature? Are they Honestants or Swindlecants?”

Twilight thought for about five seconds. “The third creature is a Swindlecant.” She deduced, wagging her tail when she saw the house and their parents waiting outside. “I know it because he's just a big jerk like you. Liar! Liar! Liar! That wasn't a logic game. You just made it up!” Twilight picked up her speed and ran away into the protection of her parents.

Shining slowed his pace, his voice carried on the wind. “You're wrong.” She heard, shocking her to her core. “You're stupid.” She cringed. Twilight turned back, catching her brother bathed in red hues as the sun finally began to drift down the horizon. Shining merely grinned.

“You're not smarter than me!” Twilight screeched, before dissolving into a fit. Their parents rebuked her, quickly telling she could stay her room until dinnertime if she was going to act like that in public. Right before they demanded Shining tell them what was wrong with her. He only rolled his eyes and went up to his room as well.

With the sounds of Twilight messing up her room, knocking her books around filling his walls, Shining only sat back and cracked open a book. It was called 'Brain Teasers and Logic Puzzles for Dummies'. Somehow, he thought he would find plenty of occasions to use this book.

Author's Note

Tried writing into a new style. (Third-person omniscient) It doesn't work for me. Or I might just use it for when I'm writing the two as children. I think I'll stick to third-person limited for the next chapter. Maybe two...

Logic Puzzle taken from this website. I thought Honestants and Swindlecants would be something fun for Twilight and something Shining might have learned in school.

Twilight's actually paraphrasing Shining's rhyme wrong. It's actually a lot meaner and it doesn't rhyme. And when she says, 'Quell before me, muddle!' what she really means is 'Quake before me, mortal.' Note both of their behavior is taken from years of babysitting siblings around that age. It's not really cute.

This story should have a comedy tag but I think I'm the only one who finds this humor funny. I have this weird thing to when it comes word-play and it will rear its ugly head in the second chapter.