The Life of Derpy (Head Canon)

     “It’s a neurological problem called Strabismus.” said the doctor. “There’s no way to fix it?” asked Ruby, “Surely, out of all of Cloudsdale, there’s something you can do.” “I’m sorry.” Replied the doctor “We’ve done everything we can. There’s just no way to treat it. At least if there is, we don’t have the ability here.”

     Ruby took the new born filly from the doctor and looked down upon the bundled up pony. She had a grey body and a soft golden mane. Then the little filly opened her eyes. Ruby, her mother, looked at it with a glare of disappointment. The little fillies yellow eyes were crossed and crooked. “Is there a father around?” asked the doctor. Ruby sighed, and looked up. “No. He thought his racing career was too much of an independent occupancy for us.” “Oh, I see.” replied the doctor awkwardly, “Well again I am sorry about your daughters condition.” “What does it do?” asked Ruby? “Nothing harmful.” replied the doctor, “It’s just that she may have a difficulty in vision and with that a bit of off coordination.  Might I ask what you’re going to name her?” Ruby looked at the filly who was still peering back at her. “Nothing that talks the talk, but can’t walk the walk. So, Ditzy. Ditzy Doo.” The doctor looked at Ruby with a sour look, but wrote down the name onto a form.

    Ruby was Ditzy’s mother and a successful WonderBolt.  One of Ruby's closest friends, who was also former captain, was a mare named Spitfire. When they would meet up, Ruby's newborn and its condition was frequently a conversation starter. “I’m telling you Spats,” said Ruby one day, while talking to Spit Fire over lunch, “I just don’t know what to do with her. I’ve got a career to keep up and no school in Cloudsdale will take her because of her… You know... Condition”

      CloudsDale was a place of business and perfection. Young Ditzy having her problem was in of itself a problem for CloudsDale. For such a perfectionist place to have a resident who was an outcast of sorts was something that could not be overlooked as just a simple characteristic flaw. Therefore no school or anything besides her mother, who was often quite reluctant, would watch over Ditzy.

        “You’ve tried everything?” asked Spit Fire. “Yes!” replied Ruby, “and I just don’t know what to do.” “Well where is she now?” asked Spitfire. “I’ve got a friend   watching her for the day.” It grew silent for a bit in the conversation. Then Spit Fire suddenly spoke up, “Hey what if…What if I were to say… You know take the kid off your hands for a while.” What do you mean?” asked Ruby. “You heard me.” said Spit Fire, sounding more exajerated now, “The kid can come live with me. You know I’m retired now and so I’ve got more time on my hands. Plus I’ve always wanted kids so it could be interesting in a way.” Ruby’s eyes brightened with glee, “I could privately teach her and...” “Oh thank you, thank you, thank you so much Spats!” cried Ruby, “You would really do that?” “Sure why not? It’ll be fun. It’ll give me something to handle during all this free time.” replied Spitfire. “Oh thank you so much!” Ruby hugged Spite Fire tightly, “No problem.” said Spit Fire. It it quietly dawned upon Spitfire that this type of gratitude was more for pity, and relief than it was actually meant for an act of helpfulness and friendship...

     The day came when Ditzy was to go with Spit Fire to live with her on the other side of Cloudsdale. Ruby waved them off a bright smile, excited to get back to her successful career with no further distractions. Meanwhile Ditzy was utterly confused and a bit shaken. Being as little as she was she didn’t understand what was going on except that she was going away from her mother, the care taker who brought her into this big world, but yet was also supposed to be her protector. “Hey don’t look so down kid,” said Spitfire “You’re just gonna hang with me for a while. You’ll be back with your mamma before you know it.” At this she gave a wink and a friendly comforting smile to the little filly who was now riding on her back.  Ditzy smiled back and continued to look in the direction of her home with her bright, hopeful, yet cheerful eyes.

     For the next few years on the far ends of Cloudsdale Ditzy was raised by Spitfire as if she was her own filly. She cared for her and treated her with love and kindness for Spitfire was caring and patient unlike most popular Pegasus at the time. Ditzy would ask at times about returning home and when she would see her real parents again. Although Spitfire loved the company of Ditzy she would often contact her mother and ask if she had any interest in taking back the filly. She would get replies like “Just a little while longer.” Or, She’s just so busy right now but give it a month or so.” Spitfire felt sorry for Ditzy  after a whileand was running out of excuses to give her for the delay of being with her parents once more. Ditzy would hastily ask after a phone conversation between Spitfire and Ruby, “Well. Can I go! Can I go see them yet? Pleeaase?”,  Mnay a time Ditzy would look into Spitfire’s eyes, widened with hope and excitement. Spitfire would look back into her eyes and sometimes sheading a tear knowing that the answer would break Ditzy’s heart…

    Spitfire gave Ditzy flying lessons and academic lessons just like any other teacher did and just as well as one too. Perhaps it was even better, considering that for the most part it was just the two of them therefore Ditzy had as much attention as she needed. She would learn to spell, count, all the simple things.

       Since Spitfire didn’t have much of a clue on how to really praise kids for doing well on something since she never had kids of her own until Ditzy came along, she decided that a good way to reward Ditzy for good work was by a good treat. So each time Ditzy got a really big question correct in math or learned to spell out a certain word she would bake Ditzy a muffin. Muffins became Derpy’s favorite food. She liked all sorts of muffins and would want to bake them with Spitfire whenever she got the chance.

        One year for Ditzy’s 10th birthday Spit Fire decided to do something really special for Ditzy. While Ditzy was playing in the clouds one day, gathering them up and throwing them everywhere or running straight into them and backing out again, Spit Fire baked a whole basket of muffins for Ditzy. There were all sorts of muffins, like Coffee, Blue Berry, Chocolate, and much more.

         “Ditzy!” called Spitfire “Come inside!” Ditzy raced strait through the front door and almost crashed into the kitchen table, before being caught by Spitfire. “Careful!” exclaimed Spitfire, “Anxious are we?” Ditzy giggled and asked “Why do ya want me?” “Do you have any idea what day today is?” asked Spit Fire in reply, “Oh that’s easy,” Ditzy replied “Tuesday!” “Haha, yes but what else is today?” “I dunno.” Ditzy shrugged “It’s your birthday!” Exclaimed Spitfire, loudly “Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh, yes it is! Is it?” said Ditzy “Yes it is sweetie,” said Spit Fire, stroking Ditzy’s mane. “and I want you to close your eyes and  slowly count to ten.” Ditzy nodded and shut her eyes tight.  “One! Two! Three! Wait what are you doing?” she asked “You don’t worry about that,” said Spit Fire “you just close those special eyes of yours and ill be right back.”  “Uh, Okay” obeyed Ditzy, “Three! Four!” Spit Fire backed away and went into the kitchen. “Five! Six! Seven!” Spit Fire returned with the basket behind her back “Eight! Nine! Ten!” she opened her eyes, “Surprise!” yelled Spit Fire and brought the basket out from behind her and set them down in front of Ditzy, “Happy Birthday sweetie!”

           Ditzy looked at the basket with amazement. “Oh. My. Gosh! Muffins!” she shrieked. Ditzy started grabbing handfuls of muffins and started to chow down on them. Bits of crumbs littered the floor, but Spit Fire ignored the mess. She just loved seeing how happy Ditzy was, considering that this was probably the best gift Ditzy had ever gotten for her birthday. Other little ponies around Cloudsdale were normally from quite wealthy families. They would get things like whole doll houses or expensive accessories for their wings and things of that nature, But Ditzy didn’t care. She was just so happy to have the two things she loves most; Spitfire and muffins.

             “Woah, woah there honey. If you don’t slow down with those you’ll get yourself a bad tummy ache” said Spit Fire. “Worth it!” cried Ditzy, and she continued with her muffins. Stuffing a whole one half way into her mouth and barely chewing it before swallowing it. “C’mon now Ditzy. Let’s save some for later okay?” said Spit Fire, slowing taking back the basket. “Awe” said Ditzy. She began to frown with a disappointed look in her face. “Hey now don’t worry!” soothed Spit Fire. She came closer to Ditzy, secretively looked around, and whispered, “I still have another surprise for ya.” “Oh my gosh, really?” shrieked Ditzy “What is it! What is it!” she began to jump up and down excitedly. Spit Fire laughed and from behind her, brought out two pieces of paper.  “What are those?” asked Ditzy. “These..” exclaimed Spit Fire “are tickets to the Wonder Bolt Rally this Saturday!”  “Woah! The Wonder Bolts!” cheered Ditzy, “That’s awesome!” Ditzy clapped but then stopped. “Wait.” She paused and gasped “Mommy’s a Wonder Bolt just like you were! So that means…” she paused and thought about this. “We get to see Mommy!” “That’s right Ditzy!  We get to see Mommy!” Spit Fire repeated. The two mares jumped up and down excitedly. “Will she be happy to see me?” asked Ditzy. “You bet your little tush she will!” jeered Spit Fire “Oh thank you, thank you!” cried Ditzy as she gave Spit Fire a big hug and didn’t let go. “I can’t wait till I finally get to see Mommy!” Ditzy began to shed a little tear of joy. Spit Fire hugged back tightly shedding one as well.

    The big day arrived and both Ditzy and Spit Fire left the cloud house to the Stadium.  Spit Fire being a former Wonder Bolt was escorted to a private box in the crowd where many other V.I.P ponies were. “When are they coming?” asked Ditzy. “Don’t worry Ditzy. The show will be starting soon. After about ten minutes later drums began to play and a marching band flew swiftly in formation. They marched all around the inside of the stadium until they fully circled it. Then a single Pegasus came out a blew a trumpet.

       All of a sudden drum roll started and he began to loudly speak, “Ladies and gentle colts. To commence the fiftieth annual Wonder Bolt Rally in Clouds Dale, please welcome Princess Cellestia!” Then high in the crowd on the other side of the stadium from Ditzy and Spit Fire, in a large show box curtains rolled back revealing the beautiful unicorn Pegasus princess Cellestia. She waved to everyone around the stadium and the approached a microphone and said, “Everyone, let the rally begin!” The entire crowd roared and then fireworks boomed in the sky and suddenly the squad of Wonder Bolts emerged from the light and flew all around the stadium as fast as a jet, leaving behind cloud trails.

          The WonderBolts split up and preformed flips and spins all around the air. One of them would fly as high as possible and then jet down at amazing speeds but pull up at the last second. They flew through numerous fire lit hoops thrown into the air. They flew and spun blind folded and would swish past the crowds blowing every-pony back with great force. These type of aerobatics went on throughout the show.

            Suddenly out of the blue, the drums played again and in the sky appeared a second squad of Wonder Bolts. They formed in a V-formation like birds they all doveinto numerous stunts of all kinds.

             “Look! There’s Mommy!” cried Ditzy as she pointed to Ruby who was leading the squad.  “Oh yeah, there she sure is look at her!” jeered Spit Fire. The squad did loops and spirals in the air and looped down into the stadium preparing for the finale. They spiraled down at great speeds all still in formation leaving behind rainbow trails making it look like one big rainbow tornado. The group split and traveled upwards, but Ruby free fell. Then each half of the squad swooped down to her  and just as Ruby was a about to complete the maneuver by jetting upwards leading the squad in a sonic cloud burst, Ditzy cheered her mother on, “Go Mommy go!”  “Ditzy?” said Ruby distracted in confusion.

              The Wonder Bolt squad continued to dive down, but Ruby forgot to take the lead and all of them collided and crash into each other! Each pony was thrown with force in every direction, into the crowd and into each other. The finale was ruined… The crowd gasped and a scream was heard somewhere amongst them. But then the crowd grew silent, all glaring in the direction of Ditzy and Spit Fire, shaking their heads. “Uh oh.” said Ditzy as she cowered down behind Spit Fire. All the Wonder Bolt members moaned and groaned in deep pain.

             Paramedics reached the scene with dollies and back boards and hauled each of them away one by one. The crowd shuffled and began to leave, for the show was obviously at its end. Ruby, very injured, flew up to the V.I.P box where Spit Fire and Ditzy was. “Look! Mommy’s okay!” cried Ditzy to Spit Fire. “Oh no.” said Spit Fire to herself quietly. Ruby approached them with a stern glare. “Hi Mommy!” said Ditzy as she got up to go hug Ruby, “I missed you so much!” Ruby dodged Ditzy, ignoring her and went closer to Spit Fire. “Do you see what you did! What are you doing bringing her here?” she asked sternly. “She wanted to see her Mother, who’s been rejecting her for so long if you may know.” scolded Spitfire. “Don’t you get the drift?” barked back Ruby, “No one needs her around. Not Me. Not my husband. No one!” she paused for breath then looked back at Ditzy who looked at Ruby with a sunken face. Tears began to emerge from Ditzy’s confused  eyes. “A pony like her doesn’t belong here in Cloudsdale, or anywhere else for that matter. I saw this from the beginning, which was why I were so thankful for you to take her off of our hands.” She exclaimed. “But… Mommy?” whimpered Ditzy as more tears began to roll down her grey cheeks. She was soaking in every word her mother said. This might’ve been the first time Ditzy actually had understood fully of what was happening around her. Ruby turned back to Spit Fire. “You’re a monster.” stated Spit Fire, stiffly as she rose to Ditzy’s side. “Take her away from here.” said Ruby, she looked back to Ditzy who was silent. “Take that weird eyed freak away from me and all of Cloudsdale.” She turned to Spit Fire “And I don’t care if you ever come back either.” She finished. Spit Fire picked up Ditzy on her back. “I never knew you had this in you Ruby. All this time.” She spat at Ruby and fled off and out of sight...

       It seemed like eternity after the incident. Spit Fire barely gave Ditzy anymore lessons for whenever they’d go out, there would be other Pegasus’ that flew by, teasing and mocking Ditzy. “Mommy, mommy!” they’d mock and coax. They’d laugh and shake their heads at Ditzy. “Piss off!” Spit Fire would say to these antagonists, “Since when are you ever perfect!” Often for numerous times a day, Ditzy would cry Shed even cry herself to sleep.

       No comfort given to her from Spit Fire would ever get through the deep sadness Ditzy felt day on and day off. “Ditzy?” asked Spit Fire as she slowly entered Ditzy’s room, “You okay pumpkin?” Ditzy knelt beside her bed, arms crossed and head buried in them. “All…” Ditzy whimpered, “All I wanted was to see her again.” Ditzy cried, “So... So that we could, maybe, be a family again… But she doesn’t want me. No one does. No one likes me!” Ditzy cries and wails, “Ahh!”  *sniff* “All because of my stupid messed up eyes. I hate them! I hate them. I hate them. I hate them!” Ditzy looked up out the window of her room. “Nopony else has them. Everypony else is smart and can see good and don’t mess up everywhere!” she continued to cry loudly. Tears rolled down her cheeks and her face was a bright red, filled with anger and frustration. “Hey!” snapped Spit Fire, “Ditzy don’t you say that! It’s not true.” She sat down with Ditzy against her bed and cradled her in her arms. “I love you. I want you in my life. Look at me Ditzy.” She turned her cheek so they were face to face. “You have the most beautiful eyes anypony could ever ask for. You ARE funny and you ARE smart and you are a very beautiful Pegasus over all.” She cradled her again tighter, now rocking her. “You are different Ditzy, but you’re unique and special and that is what everyone is jealous of.

        You’re the strongest out of anypony” Spit Fire gently rocked Ditzy back and forth and began to sing, “Oh, Out of all the Pegasus around, Ditzy, you can fly the highest and don’t let them ever bring you down.” Ditzy fell asleep that night with a soft sweet smile which left a mark in her heart that would not easily be faded away.