The Life of Derpy (Head Canon)

        Ditzy looked at her route paper, “Alright let’s see, 1234 Oak Briar. Alright that’s not too far from around here. She flew as fast as she could down the street past shops and children playing in the street and then made quick turn down Blue Berry road. “Excuse me, pardon me, sorry!” she said as she came to near misses colliding with other ponies. Then she finally turned to Oak Briar and approached the house she was to deliver to. She approached the mail box then shuffled through her bag for the proper letters. “Let’s see.” she said to herself, “Ah! Here we go.” She opened the lid of the mail box and put the letters in.

        “Alrighty. One down!” As she was about to leave she noticed across the way at the neighboring house that Rainbow Dash was making her delivery. Rainbow Dash bolted through the yard and as she approached the mailbox. Without looking, she grabbed letters out of her bag and without stopping, swung them into the mailbox and kept flying.

         “Wow she’s fast.” Ditzy said to herself. Then took off to her next location. “Alright let’s see what’s next.” She skimmed the paper, “Ah, ha the school’s next! That should be easy.” she said and then flew off. She turned off Oak Briar and then turned right sharply onto Pond Lake. She flew as fast as she could and then finally approached the school. She saw many foals playing on the playground. Ditzy approached to drop the letters in the box when suddenly Ms. Cheerilee came out.

          “Oh my Ditzy!” she said surprised, “How are you?”

           “Oh hi Ms. Cheerillee.” said Ditzy, “I’m doing fine how bout you?”

            “Oh I’m doing good. Got a bundle of joy to look after as always. What are you up too? Are you mail carrier now?”

            “Oh no.” replied Ditzy hastily, “I’m actually in a big hurry. I’m competing for it right now.”

             “Oh really?”

            “Yep gotta run!” With that Ditzy flew off quickly.

             “Good Luck!” shouted Ms. Cheerillee after Ditzy. Ditzy looked at her route paper and crossed off the second address. “Sweet!” she exclaimed, “Two down. I can do this!”

              Just then Rainbow Dash flew over head of Ditzy. “Better hurry up Derpy!” she jeered, “I’ve got one more and then that job is mine!” she flew off hysterically laughing. Ditzy refused to be intimidated. She looked at her next destination... It was the orphanage all the way across town. But she refused to give up. In the sky, she hovered for a moment or two looking around for any short cuts that could be seen from above. “Ah, ha!” she laughed, “There!” as fast as she could she flew high over roof tops, over crowds, of people, and made a few wild turns through pony’s yards and turned from street to street.

            Then finally she came to a clearing on across one street and there it was; the orphanage. It looked very torn and run down but was still active. She saw little fillies and foals playing games in the front of the building. She wondered what has happened to that one pink filly she saw playing in the front the first time she passed by here when she first came to Pony Ville. She approached the front sidewalk leading towards the door step and took out her last letters and dropped them into the mailbox. She waved to all the children as she flew off.

           “Yes! I’m finally done.” She congratulated herself. She flew as quickly as she could to the Post Office, burst through the doors and went straight to Mr. Bumble’s office. She was so certain that she had it made. “Mr. Bumble! Mr. Bumbled!” she cried. Tears of joy filled her eyes. She had finally made it. Finally persistence pays off. She felt so happy when she entered Mr. Bumble’s office…”Mr. Bumble I made it…” she began but there she was... Rainbow Dash was in the office already. She stood proudly next to Mr. Bumble at his desk with a mail carriers hat resting neatly on her head.

            “I’m sorry Derpy.” said Mr. Bumble, “It looks like Rainbow Dash here completed her task earlier. Therefore she is now the new mail carrier.”

             Rainbow Dash smiled proudly, “Sorry Derps, looks like the Hair beat the Tortis this time. Hahaha.”

             “Yeah it does.” Ditzy squeaked out. She turned to leave, “Congrats.” And with that she left the Post Office. She couldn’t believe it. She had gone there today for a simple interview,  was given a golden opportunity, and blew it. She was certain that Spit Fire and Carrot Top were waiting for her to return with the news back at the apartment. It was late and she felt to ashamed to go home in fear, knowing that she had let down not only herself but Spit Fire as well.

           She walked to Sugar Cube Corner as depressed as could be. Thankfully they were still open for it was growing late now and the sky was getting dark. She entered the building and behind the counter was Mrs. Cake. Spit Fire brought her here a few times when she was younger for her birthday.  She took a seat at a table in the corner. There was no one else here.

        Mrs. Cake approached her wearing an apron and a little note pad. “Hello hun.” she said brightly, “How are you tonight?”

         “I’m okay. Could be better, but could be worse I guess.” replied Ditzy grimly.

         “Oh haven’t we all had those days.” chuckled Mrs. Cake.

          “Not quite like this.” Ditzy said.

         “Oh.” Mrs. Cake was a little embarrassed, “So um, is there anything I can get for ya?”

           “A Blue Berry muffin and a Chocolate Milk shake please.”

            “One blue berry muffin and a chocolate shake coming right up!” Mrs. Cake said as she went back behind the counter. Ditzy thought long and hard about the way things were turning out. There was no job anywhere out there for her and she had let Spit Fire, her life-long provider and mother figure, down. Minutes later Mrs. Cake came with Ditzy’s muffin and milk shake. As she set them down in front of Ditzy she asked, “What’s wrong honey?”

           Ditzy looked longingly at her and replied, “You wouldn’t happen to have a job opening here would you?”

            Mrs. Cake frowned, “Well hun I…I wish we did and I mean we did, but we offered it up to a sweet pink mare that dropped by here earlier.”

           “Oh. I see.” replied Ditzy.

            “I’m sorry, I truly am.” Ditzy nodded, a tear trickled down her eye. “The muffin and shake are on the house.” Mrs. Cake added and then went back behind the counter.

           Ditzy stayed there for a while and  realized she should probably go and not keep the Cakes waiting for her; it was quite late for them too. She turned to the counter to thank Mrs. Cake, but she was nowhere to be seen. She decided she should just go, so she left. It was very late now. The sky was completely dark now except for the beautiful full moon and stars which shone brightly. The street lights had turned on and there was no one in sight. Everyone had gone home. Ditzy still felt scared to go back to Spit Fire and Carrot Top so she decided to take a walk.

         She turned the corner and walked along-side Sugar Cube Corner. As she turned to the back where all the trash bins were and dumpster was she saw someoneby the dumpster. She couldn’t make out who it was because they were wearing a dark hooded cloak. “Hey!” Ditzy shouted, startling the mysterious creature, “What are you doing!” The creature looked quick at Ditzy then shut the dumpster bin and ran into the night. “What were they doing?” Ditzy wondered to herself. Then she jumped when she heard a shuffling sound coming from inside the dumpster. She waited a moment frozen in shock then it happened again. “What the…” She went closer to the dumpster and decided to open it and find out what was inside. She was certain it was a raccoon or some sort of small animal but then what was that, mysterious assumed pony, doing? Maybe she was feeding it. Ditzy approached the dumpster slowly and cautiously. She, inch by inch began to open it up, but then she heard a wimper. She opened it up completely and looked in to see what it was. She couldn’t believe her eyes. Her heart skipped a few beats… It was a baby…. a filly. That pony, whoever he or she was, dumped a little baby foal in the dumpster! It was a light purple unicorn with a golden mane like Ditzy’s. She had yellow eyes just like Ditzy had, except you know, these weren’t wall eyed. The filly was maybe a year or two old.

         “Oh my Celestia...” Ditzy exclaimed. She was speechless. She didn’t know what to do. This poor little darling had just been abandoned. Just like Ditzy had… Ditzy looked into the eyes of the little filly. She was so small and was quite scarred. She looked as if she had just woken up and was obviously unaware of where she was. Ditzy’s mind flooded with questions. Who was that mare? Why didn’t she take the child to an orphanage? Should the Cakes find out that a baby was abandoned in their dumpster? But most of all, the big question was, what was SHE going to do. Leave? not a chance.

        The little foal looked up at Ditzy with her little eyes, “Mm-mommy?” she cooed softly with a scared questioning look. This was it. Ditzy had to come up with a conclusion of what action to take next. Her heart beat rapidly. She shook at the thought of what her next move would be. But she stopped, took a deep breath, and jumped to it. “Yes.” she said softly, “I’m here.”

---------    ----------   -----------    ----------

       Ditzy flew as softly as she could, wielding the child on her back, all cuddled up into a ball. But she was awake and was well aware of what was happening.  Ditzy knew where to go now. She needed to get away to somewhere quiet. Somewhere to think and look for answers. She flew far to the outskirts of town, into a vast green meadow. Illuminated by the moon light, the tall grasses swayed in the cool night breeze. She landed in the middle of the meadow and lay down. She took the little foal off of her back and set her down beside her. She looked into the yellow eyes of this beautiful foal. More questions filled her mind. What was she to do now? Why did she take this child? Would this child ever remember what her birth mother was like? What was she to do with it? Give her to the orphanage or raise her as her own? Ditzy knew what she wanted to do. She wanted to raise this beautiful child as her own. She didn’t want to give her to the orphanage, where there are also poor innocent children that have been abandoned. No place for an innocent.

       Now what made this struggle so hard? Because when Ditzy looked into the eyes of this child she saw herself. She remembered how like this filly her mother had too practically abandoned Ditzy when she was young. She had also once felt the pain of being forgotten and unwanted that this filly was to feel someday if she didn’t take her in. The difference between Ditzy and this foal was that someone else had been there for Ditzy when all went bad. Spit Fire. But if Ditzy didn’t do anything then this foal would have no one else to be there for her. Ditzy had another chance now to do something right. She dread the thought of leaving this foal alone with no one to defend her in the world.

      If she did decide to take her in then what sort of life would she be providing for her? Ditzy had no job, was running out of money fast, and having a child to care for would just make things worse. She couldn’t raise a child having to eek their way through life desperately. She didn’t know what Spit Fire would think of it either.

     Ditzy looked into the eyes of the filly, who had been staring at her this whole time. The baby looked over the sweet gentle face of her supposed protector and guardian.  Ditzy looked back into the eyes of the little foal. “I’ll be here for you.” said Ditzy, “I’m going to name you… Dinky. Like Ditzy. How does that sound?” The little filly cocked her head to the side and gave a slight smile. Ditzy pulled Ditzy closer to her side with her wing. Dinky snuggled up as tight as she could to Ditzy. Ditzy looked at Ditzy and gave her a small kiss on the head, “At least your normal.” she said. “No.” Dinky squeaked back in her soft voice. “Don’t say mommy. You too.” Ditzy cuddled next to Dinky and began to weep.

   They lay there for a while but then above the noise of the swaying grass Ditzy heard the sound of twinkling. From the sky she saw a strange formation of mist begin to form. The group formation of clouds drifted down into the field right in front of Ditzy and Dinky. Dinky was asleep but Ditzy watched in awe as from the mist an incredible white light grew and from it emerged Princess Cestia herself!

   The Princess stepped forth and Ditzy was just about to get up and bow to the Princess when the Princess spoke up, “Stay laying child. You wouldn’t want to wake the little one.” she had the most Angelic tone of voice Ditzy had ever heard. “Pp…Princess Celestia.” Ditzy stuttered, “W…what are you doing here?”

      “Ditzy.” The Princess started, “I’ve been watching you for all these years. Ever since the Wonder Bolt Rally.”

       Ditzy was utterly confused, “But Princess why?” “Because I saw what happened between your mother and you that day. With a little filly as young as your self being belittled by no one other than your own mother I just couldn’t leave my sight on you assuring myself that everything would be fine. Especially with your little…gift.”

        “Oh.” Ditzy said, “Yeah...right.”

        “Ditzy.” Celestia continued, “Do you know why out of everything, bubbles became your cutie mark?” “Because I’m good at blowing as my special talent?” Ditzy popped in sarcastically. Celestia chuckled to herself, “No not because of that. It’s because of you being you. Out of all the struggles you’ve been faced with for all this time you have refused to give up and you still keep your chin high with no defeat. With all things happening around you, you also still manage to keep in mind others.” Ditzy smiled and nodded towards Dinky, “Ditzy not many ponies out there can say that they’ve lived there life happily through all of their hard ships…Mainly because a lot aren’t around to say it at all.” Ditzy nodded and thought about this. “I just want to tell you Ditzy that you are a very special pony with wondrous features that no one else has and that no one can take away. Always keep your head high and remember that young one. Though it may not seem like it at times, more souls care about you and love you than you think.” As Princess Celestia turned back into her cloud portal but just as she was about to disappear, Ditzy called after her, “Princess Celestia, thank you so much for everything but I mean… I’ve still got questions. Nothing is working out. I can’t get a job, I can’t bare to upset Spit Fire and I just don’t know what to do.” Ditzy began to cry because these thoughts were directed towards Dinky and Celestia knew this. “Don’t cry now. I have a feeling things are going to turn up sooner than you think. After all remember, you can’t have a rainbow without any rain.” And leaving it at that Celestia disappeared and the clouds did too. Ditzy felt so tired from all that happened that day and she closed her eyes drifting into a deep slumber.

    When Ditzy awoke she was still in the field. Silently wondering if everything was a dream she looked down at Dinky who was still sleeping quietly next to her in the grass. She felt relieved and a broad smile brushed along her face. She heard the noise of the residents of Pony Ville shuffling their way around vibrantly as always. Ditzy put on a bright smile. Today did not feel like any other day she thought. Today was a new day with a new beginning. Suddenly she heard her name being called. She thought she was imagining it but then it continued and it drew closer too. Then across the meadow from the town she made out what looked like two figures running closer and closer. Her name continued to be called and then she made out who was coming. It was Jasmine and Spit Fire. Spit Fire flying towards her and Jasmine running. “Ditzy! Ditzy!” Spit Fire called, “Where the hay have you been? We’ve been looking everywhere for you since last night when you never came back.” “Oh hullo.” said Ditzy, Dinky was still hidden from sight on the other side of her. “We were so worried where you could’ve been.” added Jasmine, ”We were about to call the Ponice but then we thought maybe you just had a little trouble and you might come back over night so we slept but then you didn’t come back so we got worried again and then we got a call from Mr. Bumble at the Post office telling us about…” Jasmine gasped for air. “I’ll take it from here Jasmine.” said Spit Fire, “Yes Ditzy we were so worried about you! What are you doing out here?” “No wait.” said Ditzy still lying on the grass, Dinky yet to be noticed, “What did Mr. Bumble call about?” “What?” “You said Mr. Bumble called. What was it about?” “Oh yes! That’s another reason why we just had to find you!” exclaimed Jasmine, “He told us about some weird race that you randomly had to do for a job position at the Post Office and he said you won!” Ditzy was confused, “But I don’t understand…I lost the race. We had to deliver letters and I was too slow so I lost.” “Well yeah he told us about that too.” continued Jasmine, “But he also said that all night he had to stay late answering angry phone calls from people who, whoever you were up against delivered to because apparently that other mare got all of their mail mixed up so you automatically win because you got the mail right!” Ditzy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It seemed too good to be true. Her heart nearly burst, it was pounding so much. “Oh my Celestia!” Ditzy shrieked, as she sprung up from the ground, “That’s amazing! I can’t believe it! I got the job. I did it!” she flew in circles and hugged Jasmine and pranced around and then hugged Spit Fire and danced some more, “Yippee! This is amazing! I’m gonna be the new mail carrier!” “Um Ditzy.” asked Spit Fire stiffly, “Whose that?” she and Jasmine had both their eyes directed into the grass where little Dinky lay with her head perked up a little smile on her face as she watched her mother stop in mid-air from dancing wildly with a blank face also directed towards her.

“C,mon honey.” said Ditzy, beckoning for Ditzy to leave her toys and head out the door. Ditzy and Dinky stepped out the door of the house and started walking on the gravel path towards town. Yup, that’s right, a house. Over the past two years Ditzy had done a great job being the best mail mare in town and had received many tips and raises in her salary of bits and, with a little help from Spit Fire, bought a two story house near the meadow that she had spent the night in with Ditzy.

   Today she decided to bring Dinky to work today. Dinky loved to go out and Ditzy tried to take her out whenever she could. Plus it was Dinky’s birthday. Ditzy had no idea when Dinky’s actual birthday was so she decided to celebrate it on the anniversary day that she found her. Today was going to be special. Ditzy would take Dinky with her on her mail route then stop by Sugar Cube Corner to get some ice cream and then take her on a walk in the park.

  Ditzy and Dinky left the Post Office with her new bag of mail for the day. Thankfully Mr. Bumble had known what Ditzy planned on doing with Ditzy today and what the occasion was so he gave her very few letters than usual. She was to deliver about ten letters and a package.

   After Ditzy and Dinky left their first two deliveries Ditzy decided to take Dinky to Sugar Cube Corner after lots of begging. Besides, she was hungry for some ice cream too. On the way Ditzy took Ditzy down Main Street past all the shops and other businesses. It was always bustling with vibrant ponies doing everyday things whether it was selling fruits from fruit stands or preforming tricks for a few Bits. Ditzy loved to go past and see all these things. Dinky would always say to Ditzy. “Mommy someday I wanna do that!” and Ditzy would laugh and reply with, “Maybe someday, but don’t you wanna be a mail mare like me?” and Ditzy, “Oh…Yeah that too!”

  As Ditzy and Dinky were walking they passed by a group of colts across the street who were laughing amongst themselves. One of them caught Ditzy’s eye and turned to face in her and Dinky’s direction. “Hey look everypony!” he exclaimed and all the other colts turned, “It’s Derpy and her little guide dog!” All the other colts started laughing along. “What’s wrong Derpy? Can’t navigate yourself around town? Maybe you need a map! Or can’t you find that either?” All the colts raged in laughter and even a few other bystanders near them began joining in on the fun. “Why are those colts being so mean mommy?” Ditzy asked. “Oh it’s nothing.” replied Ditzy, “Just ignore them.” As they began walking some of the colts started following Ditzy and Dinky scavenging for more fun to have with the two. “Hey where ya goin Derpy?” one asked. Ditzy sighed, “Thank Celestia you’re at least normal. You’ll never have this problem someday.” suddenly Dinky stopped and looked angry. “Baby what’s wrong?’ asked Ditzy. “Don’t say things like that Mommy!” Dinky said loudly, “Don’t say that. You are normal!” Ditzy let out a tear and smiled, then nudged Ditzy on ward.

  The colts began to speed up toward the mother and her daughter when all of a sudden, “Hey what do you think ya’ll are doing?” yelled Rainbow Dash as she flew straight down from the sky right in between Ditzy and the colts. “You got a problem with them? You take it up with me!” Rainbow Dash approached them in a manner that made her look ready to fight. The colts got scared, “Oh uh we weren’t doing anything.” one said. “Oh weren’t ya?” scowled Rainbow Dash. “Yeah.” another colt spoke up, “In fact we were just uh…Leaving!” and they all ran away as fast as they could. “Yeah you punks better run!” she called after them. Then Rainbow Dash turned to Ditzy and Dinky. “Ya’ll okay?” she asked looking at Dinky. “That was awesome!” shouted Dinky. Rainbow Dash laughed, “Well looks like you’re doing fine.” “Hey Rainbow Dash!” greeted Ditzy, “Thank you.” “Oh no problem.” replied Rainbow Dash, “So what you up too? Word goes around these days that you’re the best mail mare around.” “Oh.” blushed Ditzy, “Well I never got to say how sorry I was that you didn’t get the job.” “Oh psh! Don’t worry about it.” shooed Rainbow Dash,  “Don’t worry about it. I’m having a better time as a cloud clearer for Cloudsdale anyway.” “Oh well that’s good.” smiled Ditzy. “Yup, well it’s about time I get back up there. Ya’ll stay safe now or I might have to be awesome again.” She winked to Dinky and then bolted straight up and out of sight.”

  Ditzy and Dinky went to sugar cube corner. “Alright baby let’s get some Ice Cream then Mommy has to make one more delivery then we can go to the park.” said Ditzy “Okay!” replied Dinky excitedly. At the counter Ditzy didn’t see Mrs. Cake, but saw…Was it? Yes! It was the other pink pony that Ditzy saw at the orphanage and maybe it was the one Mrs. Cake said she had already given the job here to. Yes it had to be! ”Hi!” greeted Ditzy cheerfully. “Well hello there!” greeted the pink pony back as she looked up from doing whatever it was she was looking down at, her pooffy pink mane bouncing up and down as this happened. She had a cutie mark of three colorful balloons. This intrigued “What brings you around here?” she asked, “Oh,” said Ditzy, “Well um…” Ditzy motioned down to Dinky. “Oh my Celestia!” replied the pink pony getting the hint, “Is it someone’s birthday?” Dinky nodded excitedly with a bright smile. “Well that’s amazing! What can I get ya?” “Two double chocolate swirly ice creams please.” Ditzy responded. “Two double chocolate swirlies coming right up!” The pink pony turned to another counter and opened up a glass case and scooped up the ice cream from ice cream buckets filled with all sorts of tasty flavors. “There ya go!” she said handing the ice creams to Ditzy and Dinky. In Dinky’s there was a little colorful tab that read “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” and there were sprinkles on top of the little treat also. “Thanks!” said Dinky cheerfully. “No problem.” replied the pony, “Names Pinkie Pie by the way. You have a super doper Happy Birthday now!” Pinkie Pie, now that sounded like a fitting name, thought Ditzy. “Thank you!” said Ditzy as she and Dinky left. “Any time!” Pinkie Pie called back.

      Ditzy and Dinky walked all the way across Pony Ville to Ditzy’s next delivery. Dinky sweetly asked “Mommy when can we go to the park?” “Right after this last delivery.” responded Ditzy. It was a rather large package for…Whooves. Ditzy remembered him from school! Of course mainly remembering times where he and other young colts had made fun of her at times but she didn’t mind. She had always had a small crush on him. Now she was anxious to see him again. He seemed like the type of dead beat that would always be traveling around Equestria. “C’mon baby.” Ditzy urged Dinky.

      When they got to the house Ditzy noticed the large telephone box that Jasmine had always remarked him to be using for Celestia knows what. Ditzy knocked a few times while Dinky waited patiently by her side…Still no answer. Then Ditzy knocked again. This time she heard a shuffling sound from inside the house and then a few locks opening and the door opened, “Package delivery for Hooves.” Ditzy announced. “Yes but I believe it’s actually Doctor Whoo… Oh my, Ditzy is that you?” Dr. Hooves said. “Hello!” said Ditzy excitedly, brightly smiling. “Well you’ve certainly changed.” He said looking at Ditzy then at Dinky. “Yes so have you.” replied Ditzy. His dark mane was messily combed back and he wore a neat tie around his neck. His style had certainly changed since school. “Living the life of a mail mare are you?” Then looking at Ditzy, “As well as a mother too I see.” he smiled. “Oh well not quite like that.” said Ditzy softly. “Oh.” nodded Dr. Whooves getting a clue by what Ditzy meant. “Well um, here’s your package.” said Ditzy, handing over the package. “What’s in there if you don’t mind?” Ditzy asked. “Oh well it’s um, just some supplies for the Tardis.” he responded. “The Tardis?” Ditzy questioned, “Is that what you call that blue thing of yours?” “Yup! Neat isn’t she?” “Oh um, I guess.” “Well thank you for uh, the delivery.” Dr. Whooves said, catching eyes with Ditzy. He looked in awe into her golden eyes. He too secretly had once had a small crush on Ditzy even though of the teasing and now he knows why. It had always been of those “fascinating” gold colored wall eyes. Very unique he thought. Ditzy had caught his glare as well. Poor Dinky did not know what was going on. Ditzy continued to look into his dark brown eyes, but then snapped out of it. “Oh um, no problem.” she replied back and then started to head off. “W-wait.” Whooves said halting them. “Ditzy I was wondering.” Ditzy listened curiously, “If you’re not doing anything some time, would you possibly like to go out?” Ditzy’s heart pounded nearly out of her chest but kept calm. “You know maybe take the Tardis out for a spin.” Ditzy had no idea what this meant but then looked down at Dinky, thought for a second then turned around anyway, “I’d love to.”